All Hail King Julien (2014) s04e06 Episode Script
The Good Book
1 - [Mort chuckles.]
- [growls.]
- [Mort.]
I'm okay! - [laughs.]
[theme song playing.]
Party - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # Get down for the get down - # Everybody party with King who? # - # King Julien! # - # King who? # - # King Julien! # Tonight will be forever Let's do King Julien style Woof! Whoa, oh, whoa, oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa, oh, whoa, oh All hail King Julien! [Julien yawns, grunts.]
[sighs softly.]
Hmm.
[sighs.]
[exclaims in surprise.]
Maurice, I found something I need right now! I'm probably afraid to ask [grunts.]
[exclaims excitedly.]
"Mildred Von Hootenpuff's Complete Book of Manners.
Host the most perfect dinner party.
" Perfect.
"Be the belle of your debutante ball.
" Ooh, how do you do? "Glide through life with elegance and poise.
This book has all the answers.
" [exclaims in delight.]
All the answers.
[sighs.]
Um It seems like just a dusty old book of outdated etiquette, Your Majesty.
I want all the answers, Mo-Mo.
[screams.]
And I want them now! Now! I will not rest until you have that book, King Julien.
I don't know.
That magazine looks pretty old.
The company's gotta be out of business by now.
Maurice, he wants to help.
It's not your place to step on this little weasel's attempts to suck up to me.
Yeah, Maurice.
Not your place.
What I do, I do for the feet.
Oh, the feet.
Oh, the feet! [laughs gleefully.]
Yes, Mort, we know, we know, you're a freak.
Now get me that book! Whee! For my king! So I said to him, "Why didn't you tell me that before I dislocated your shoulder?" [chuckles.]
And he said You're gonna love this bit, you're gonna love it.
"I tried, but you were standing on my neck.
" [laughs hysterically.]
It's so It's so It's so good! [Mort vocalizing.]
Ha! Yay! [laughs triumphantly.]
My king.
[grunts.]
I have returned.
And I brought you the [groans.]
And I brought [groans.]
And I brought you the [groaning.]
[exclaims in delight.]
- Aha! You guys, it worked! - [Mort groans.]
I hold in my delicate paws the book with all the answers.
The book that will make me the finest, proper-est, elegantile gentlelemur in all the realm! [Mort.]
Ha-ha, Maurice, in your face.
"Chapter 3.
Tipping your elevator operator.
[laughs.]
Chapter 8.
Your husband's secretary and you.
Chapter 16.
Ten things you never say to a foreigner.
" [chuckles.]
Who knew there were so many rules? [grunts.]
Oh, baby, look at all these rules.
I love rules! [laughs excitedly.]
Your Majesty, I would be so honored to enforce such specific and pointless rules.
Hello, destiny, what took you so long? [Julien vocalizing.]
Oh, look.
Look.
The debutante ball.
What a party! It says here I could be the center of attention, as all the eligible bachelors vie for my gloved hand.
[laughs.]
Just think of that.
[straining.]
Ow! I will have the season's best party.
And we will use this book to make sure all of my peoples are on top of their classy game.
"An improper place setting will ruin your dinner party.
" [flies buzzing.]
Okay, peoples, let's not ruin this dinner party, okay? Follow the king's lead.
Uh - Wrong! - [shrieks.]
Uh Hmm.
Wrong! [sighs.]
[straining.]
[chuckles smugly.]
Wrong! [screams.]
Uh [sniffing.]
Is something burning? - [classical music playing.]
- [grunting.]
- And one, and two, and one, and two.
- [humming.]
[Clover.]
I've done it according to the book, Your Majesty.
This dance party is officially, as you often say, "off the heezy.
" That can't be right.
I guess if that's what the book says But this isn't off the heezy at all.
In fact, it is squarely upon the heezy.
Like it never wants to leave the comfort of the heezy.
[vocalizing, grunts.]
[upbeat dance music playing.]
Come on, my peoples.
Are we partying up in here or what-what? [all screaming.]
[both groan.]
[Julien.]
Uh [grunting, groaning.]
[screaming.]
[Horst groans.]
My ankle! And I sprained it.
Oh, boy.
[all moaning.]
Wow, classing up these slobs with some manners is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
This book makes it sound so easy.
[sighs in exasperation.]
We could maybe bring in an expert? Ooh! I don't believe it.
Can I Can I see it? Hmm.
[exclaims in delight.]
A first-edition Von Hootenpuff? Oh, I never thought I'd see one in person! The king would like your help throwing a debutante ball.
What this commoner, no offense, Maurice, is trying to say is, I need your help with my debutante ball.
What do you say? [laughing excitedly.]
Gregor, fetch my lucky fez! Now, right curtsy.
[yells.]
Right curtsy! Oh.
Very nice.
Now, left curtsy.
[yells.]
Left curtsy! Might I trouble you to please stop yelling? [yells.]
Sorry, sir.
[clears throat.]
[whispers.]
Sorry, sir.
I'm just massively excited about all these new rules I get to enforce.
Hmm.
I can use someone like you to help keep everyone in line.
You would make an excellent protégé.
Take my tiny hand and let me lead you.
Thank you, sir.
I'll try not to let you down, sir.
[chuckles.]
Moving on to proper bowing techniques.
We will be covering both Occidental and Asian styles.
[chuckling.]
Ooh! "Both.
" You were right.
The Crocodile Ambassador is really whipping these doofuses into shape.
[laughs.]
I mean, look at them.
They're whipp-ed into shape.
[blows whistle.]
- Aww.
- Hoo-ah! I'm the big winner here.
Hoo-ah! Wow, you have really soft paws.
[both.]
Oh, thank you.
Hector, you're up next, hon.
Nope.
We're not doing this.
Where's he going? At his age, I assume he's off to complain about something that confuses him.
Dang ding-dongs and their stupid manners, telling me what to do.
[rustling.]
- Who's there? - [rustling.]
[grumbling.]
Whoa! - [groaning.]
- [burps.]
What do you bumpkins want? [scorpion screeches.]
We have come to join your rebellion, Wise Leader.
[grunts.]
Mm-hmm.
What the heck are you going on about? King Julien brought in that fancy-pants gator to teach us how to act.
But we already knows how to act good.
[gargles, spits.]
[grimacing, shrieks.]
You don't sneak up on somebody like that! Look, I don't know who you think I am, but I ain't wise and I'm not a leader.
That's the sort of wise thing a leader would say right there.
We're not doing this.
Now leave me alone.
[all.]
We're not doing this.
Stop it.
I just want to be left alone.
We all just want to be left alone.
We all just want to be left alone.
You think they're ready for this jelly, Mo-Mo? I can't wait be the belle of the ball! The Ambassador has spent weeks preparing the kingdom.
He says this debutante ball will be the social event of the season.
Oh, yeah! It's time to party! [beatboxing.]
[classical music playing.]
[Julien.]
Eh? DJ Glitterbunz, and this is a pleasant, relaxing invasion.
You snitches.
[singing.]
[flies buzzing.]
Hmm? [all chattering.]
Doesn't he look exquisite? A paragon of class and grace.
Hoo-ah.
- What? - Welcome.
Isn't this a magnificent ball? It took some doing, but I've civilized this place.
You now have the most well-mannered kingdom on the island.
I don't know if you've noticed, but nobody's droppin' booty to the floor! And this music is weak sauce! What did you do to them? I introduced them to The Way of Von Hootenpuff.
But if you'd like to go back to your old heathen customs, simply tell me to leave.
Fine.
- [yells.]
Clover! - You beckoned me? [chuckling.]
[screams.]
Clover, get this poseur outta here! Oh, no, I would never.
I do hope we can all remain cordial and polite, King Julien.
[Crocodile Ambassador.]
Oh, well said, [laughs.]
Miss Clover.
Well said, indeed.
[organ music playing.]
[sniffles.]
And Mildred sayeth, "It is considered improper to wear white slacks after Labor Day.
Breaking wind in mixed company is a grave breach of etiquette.
" - [groans.]
- [all gasp.]
Can I get a witness? [lemurs cheering, chattering.]
Oh! Thank you, Mildred! [kisses.]
Oh! Yeah! However did we get by without all these rules? We were in the Dark Ages! Yes, who knew I had so much to feel shame about? This whole village has gone cuckoo bird clocks! Something here stinks.
[Mort.]
Oh, is it me? I rolled around in an onion patch earlier to protect against werewolves.
Yeah.
[groans, exclaims in fear.]
We should probably talk somewhere else.
All these rules.
Aah! I feel like I'm in a straitjacket.
And it's so itchy! [exclaims in annoyance.]
[Crocodile Ambassador.]
Rules are important, King Julien.
[stammering.]
What-in-who-the-what-now? Rules keep us safe.
Rules keep us from having to answer the big questions all on our own.
Oh, you don't mind if I come in and visit for a spell, Your Majesty? Do you? [growling.]
- [exclaims in delight.]
- [sighs.]
A token of my affection, as is customary when visiting a friend or acquaintance's home, per The Von Hootenpuff Way.
Ooh.
Chocolates.
[straining.]
[sniffs, clears throat.]
King Julien, thank you for being such a gracious host.
[munching.]
I noticed you have not been attending our town hall get-togethers.
Yeah, well, uh, we've been busy, getting together The polite thing to do would be to send a handwritten RSVP.
Okay, buddy.
Is that sea salt? I think we've had about enough of your rules and your meddling.
My peoples are dying to party down, get crunk like they used to.
I've shown your kingdom that life is about more than feeling good and having fun with your friends.
It is about Ow! discipline, sacrifice and chewing with your mouth closed.
[continues munching.]
But don't take my word for it.
[both.]
Huh? The entire kingdom is on its best behavior, Master.
- Finally, we have order.
- [shrieks.]
Never fear, King Julien.
I am willing to give you a special, one-on-one training.
And I've never met anyone I can't help to see the light.
Clover? [exclaiming in fear.]
Save yourself, Your Majesty! Run! - [screams.]
- [growls.]
[screaming.]
[groans.]
Oh, I do hope you weren't grievously injured in that collision.
Please come with us so that we may tend to your injuries.
I'll brew some sun tea.
[gasps.]
Sun tea? Oh, look! Someone's eating an entree with a salad fork! [all gasp.]
[screeching.]
[squealing.]
[panting.]
Everybody's gone loco, Mort.
I never thought I'd say this, but somehow, you're not the village weirdo any more.
Had to pass the torch some time, I suppose.
Care to take a load off? Since when does Mort know where the bread plate goes? I just whipped up the most whimsical cucumber sandwiches.
Aah! He's gotten to you too! [screams.]
Mmm.
That's actually Nope! [screaming.]
How many more times do I have to tell you birdbrains? You gotta stop listening to me and start listening to yourselves.
Listen up, people.
He's commanding us to listen to ourselves! Hector, buddy.
Oh, thank Frank.
You gotta help me, man.
Nope, not doing this.
Nope.
Not doing this.
[groans.]
All right.
What do you need, King Julien? That fancy-pants alligator fella hijacked my kingdom and made it a cesspool of good manners, thoughtfulness, and responsible actions.
Well, if there's one thing I hate Well, I hate a lot of things.
But one of them is when some busybody tries to tell me what to do.
Me too! Unless it's you doin' the telling, Wise Leader.
Not doing this! [growling.]
I say we should put that jerk in his place.
[gasps.]
You'll really help me? Yeah, mostly 'cause I'm sick of these rubes following me around like I got all the answers.
I want to be left alone again.
Hey, good with me.
I'm not picky about motivations.
"So, you got a plan?" he asked, already knowing the answer is no.
My plan is to exploit the Ambassador's greatest weakness.
[gasps.]
Is there gluten in this? But I'm allergic to gluten.
Everybody knows that.
Ah, I see.
We're talkin' killing the guy.
Okay, I'm in.
Exactly.
No, wait! - Hey! - No! No, we give him a cake that's full of gluten during a big public event.
Once the butt-fireworks begin, nobody's gonna be able to look at him as an authority on etiquette.
[laughs.]
And we break the voodoo he's putting on everybody.
All we're going to need is a clever disguise.
[classical music playing.]
There's a good little chap.
Now, do the box step, and you shall be rewarded with an aperitif.
What the heck did he do to your brain, woman? I doubted him at first too.
But the Ambassador showed me this is a better way.
- [Maurice screaming in pain.]
- We don't have to behave like wild animals.
[yells.]
We are wild animals! This guy's just misquoting the stuff in the book to make people do what he says.
Is that so wrong? Aren't our citizens living better lives now? Think about it, Maurice.
The whole island walking in lockstep.
With no more troublemakers or creative types.
No more weird haircuts or indie folk bands.
- Or one-lemur shows.
- [purring.]
Just order.
- [classical music playing.]
- [groans.]
You no longer need to fear responsibility for your own actions.
All is laid out for you, as long as you do as Mildred commands.
I'm sure you'll come around in time, Maurice.
[Maurice wailing.]
Okay, people, keep the chit-chat to a minimum.
None of us have the manners to have a real conversation with these people.
And I feel real pretty.
Not that anybody complimented me yet.
[gurgles.]
[all exclaim in anger.]
[gulps.]
[contently.]
Hmm.
[lemur humming.]
[Julien growls.]
[all exclaim in surprise.]
[in woman's voice.]
Good evening, Master William.
Uh My, it sure is uh, weather this evening.
[kisses.]
[giggles.]
Enchanté.
And who's your lovely companion? [giggles.]
Oh, stop, you.
Horst, come greet our guests.
No wedding rings.
You brought a cake? Oh, how thoughtful.
It looks very [slurping.]
moist.
[grunts.]
My, my.
I'd never let a suitor handle my baked goods without a proper introduction.
A lady like yourself shouldn't carry her own cake like some sort of coal miner.
Here.
[both grunting, groaning.]
I've got it.
- Oh, spunky! - Oh! - [Horst gasps.]
- [Julien gasps.]
How dare you impugn my dignity, whatever that means? Madame, are you King Julien? [exclaims.]
Me? No! I'm his third cousin, twice removed on his granddaddy's butler's side.
And when he finds out about Hey! I know just what to do with this.
[in normal voice.]
That's my cake! [in woman's voice.]
I mean, my cake.
A present for the Crocodile Ambassador.
It's The Von Hootenpuff Way, for crying out loud.
King Julien, I presume? I am Grunt-hilda Knickerbocker Fancypants [in normal voice.]
Yeah, it's me.
King Julien, you have terrorized this island with your bad behavior.
And now, you will answer for it.
There will be a public inquisition.
Uh, that's probably bad, right? [straining.]
Your once-great king stands trial for a number of grievous faux pas.
How do you plead, Mister Julien? Usually like, "Oh, please! Let me go!" Then I'd get on my knees and then I really beg.
You know.
[laughs.]
The king's still got it, right, gang? I find myself wanting to laugh at his jape, but feeling too ashamed to do so.
That's great, hon.
Stuff it all down.
Madam Von Hootenpuff would be proud.
Now, what are these supposed flopahs I'm accused of, by the way? One each of the following.
Failure to say "Gesundheit" after a sneeze.
Improper hand positioning during a foxtrot.
High-fiving a member of the clergy.
Failure to salute a royal baby.
Eating while on the toilet.
Pretending the Five-Second Rule is a real thing.
I object.
Sustained.
Your Honor, this is a kangaroo court.
And not a real one with real kangaroos, 'cause that would be awesome.
[chuckling.]
I mean, real kangaroos.
In a court.
Please refrain from commenting until I'm finished.
You are finished! [all gasp.]
Hmm? What happened to us, my peoples? When did we all get so uptight? Remember how much fun we used to have before this guy started bossing us around? I am merely doing what the book says.
That's the thing.
We don't need the book.
We were getting along great without it before Maurice had the bright idea to ruin everything.
[Maurice.]
That was your idea! Shut it! [sighs.]
This book was supposed to make us nicer to each other.
To be better friends and citizens.
But he's using it to divide us.
[scoffing.]
Do we really need a list of approved fonts for thank-you notes? Or do we just need to remember to appreciate and care more about each other? And if this book is getting in the way, I say, let's throw it out and go back to how things were.
What do you say? Huh? Right? - [Horst slurping.]
- Who's with me? Rude.
Yes, he completely interrupted the Ambassador.
The nerve! [all gasping, grumbling.]
[laughs triumphantly.]
Seems as though the people have spoken.
You are hereby sentenced to [gurgling.]
[farts.]
[all gasping, murmuring.]
What? This only happens when You eat gluten.
Ha! [grunts.]
Clover? I was working as a double agent, Your Majesty.
[Maurice.]
Oh, come on, you tortured me, man! It was for the good of the kingdom! Mostly.
Once I understood the Ambassador's plan, I had to stop it.
I gave him the gluten-filled cake, knowing it would cause him to [farting.]
Oh, did he just He swore a gentleman never did that.
Now, now.
Everyone, please calm [farting.]
[laughing hysterically.]
[both laugh.]
This is highly uncivilized.
[farts.]
[bird squawks.]
[all laughing.]
You You animals! [farting.]
[laughing.]
[cheering.]
Are you okay, Your Majesty? I'm better than okay.
[chuckles.]
I have an announcement to make.
From now on, nobody has to follow any rules at all.
[all cheering.]
[chuckles nervously.]
Absolutely no rules seems like a bad idea, Your Majesty.
Oh, way to bring us all down, Clover.
All right, as long as you're not hurting anybody, let your freaky flags fly.
Keep Madagascar weird, y'all! Peace! [all cheering.]
Really? How weird? Not you, Mort.
[classical music playing.]
- [growls.]
- [Mort.]
I'm okay! - [laughs.]
[theme song playing.]
Party - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # Get down for the get down - # Everybody party with King who? # - # King Julien! # - # King who? # - # King Julien! # Tonight will be forever Let's do King Julien style Woof! Whoa, oh, whoa, oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa, oh, whoa, oh All hail King Julien! [Julien yawns, grunts.]
[sighs softly.]
Hmm.
[sighs.]
[exclaims in surprise.]
Maurice, I found something I need right now! I'm probably afraid to ask [grunts.]
[exclaims excitedly.]
"Mildred Von Hootenpuff's Complete Book of Manners.
Host the most perfect dinner party.
" Perfect.
"Be the belle of your debutante ball.
" Ooh, how do you do? "Glide through life with elegance and poise.
This book has all the answers.
" [exclaims in delight.]
All the answers.
[sighs.]
Um It seems like just a dusty old book of outdated etiquette, Your Majesty.
I want all the answers, Mo-Mo.
[screams.]
And I want them now! Now! I will not rest until you have that book, King Julien.
I don't know.
That magazine looks pretty old.
The company's gotta be out of business by now.
Maurice, he wants to help.
It's not your place to step on this little weasel's attempts to suck up to me.
Yeah, Maurice.
Not your place.
What I do, I do for the feet.
Oh, the feet.
Oh, the feet! [laughs gleefully.]
Yes, Mort, we know, we know, you're a freak.
Now get me that book! Whee! For my king! So I said to him, "Why didn't you tell me that before I dislocated your shoulder?" [chuckles.]
And he said You're gonna love this bit, you're gonna love it.
"I tried, but you were standing on my neck.
" [laughs hysterically.]
It's so It's so It's so good! [Mort vocalizing.]
Ha! Yay! [laughs triumphantly.]
My king.
[grunts.]
I have returned.
And I brought you the [groans.]
And I brought [groans.]
And I brought you the [groaning.]
[exclaims in delight.]
- Aha! You guys, it worked! - [Mort groans.]
I hold in my delicate paws the book with all the answers.
The book that will make me the finest, proper-est, elegantile gentlelemur in all the realm! [Mort.]
Ha-ha, Maurice, in your face.
"Chapter 3.
Tipping your elevator operator.
[laughs.]
Chapter 8.
Your husband's secretary and you.
Chapter 16.
Ten things you never say to a foreigner.
" [chuckles.]
Who knew there were so many rules? [grunts.]
Oh, baby, look at all these rules.
I love rules! [laughs excitedly.]
Your Majesty, I would be so honored to enforce such specific and pointless rules.
Hello, destiny, what took you so long? [Julien vocalizing.]
Oh, look.
Look.
The debutante ball.
What a party! It says here I could be the center of attention, as all the eligible bachelors vie for my gloved hand.
[laughs.]
Just think of that.
[straining.]
Ow! I will have the season's best party.
And we will use this book to make sure all of my peoples are on top of their classy game.
"An improper place setting will ruin your dinner party.
" [flies buzzing.]
Okay, peoples, let's not ruin this dinner party, okay? Follow the king's lead.
Uh - Wrong! - [shrieks.]
Uh Hmm.
Wrong! [sighs.]
[straining.]
[chuckles smugly.]
Wrong! [screams.]
Uh [sniffing.]
Is something burning? - [classical music playing.]
- [grunting.]
- And one, and two, and one, and two.
- [humming.]
[Clover.]
I've done it according to the book, Your Majesty.
This dance party is officially, as you often say, "off the heezy.
" That can't be right.
I guess if that's what the book says But this isn't off the heezy at all.
In fact, it is squarely upon the heezy.
Like it never wants to leave the comfort of the heezy.
[vocalizing, grunts.]
[upbeat dance music playing.]
Come on, my peoples.
Are we partying up in here or what-what? [all screaming.]
[both groan.]
[Julien.]
Uh [grunting, groaning.]
[screaming.]
[Horst groans.]
My ankle! And I sprained it.
Oh, boy.
[all moaning.]
Wow, classing up these slobs with some manners is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
This book makes it sound so easy.
[sighs in exasperation.]
We could maybe bring in an expert? Ooh! I don't believe it.
Can I Can I see it? Hmm.
[exclaims in delight.]
A first-edition Von Hootenpuff? Oh, I never thought I'd see one in person! The king would like your help throwing a debutante ball.
What this commoner, no offense, Maurice, is trying to say is, I need your help with my debutante ball.
What do you say? [laughing excitedly.]
Gregor, fetch my lucky fez! Now, right curtsy.
[yells.]
Right curtsy! Oh.
Very nice.
Now, left curtsy.
[yells.]
Left curtsy! Might I trouble you to please stop yelling? [yells.]
Sorry, sir.
[clears throat.]
[whispers.]
Sorry, sir.
I'm just massively excited about all these new rules I get to enforce.
Hmm.
I can use someone like you to help keep everyone in line.
You would make an excellent protégé.
Take my tiny hand and let me lead you.
Thank you, sir.
I'll try not to let you down, sir.
[chuckles.]
Moving on to proper bowing techniques.
We will be covering both Occidental and Asian styles.
[chuckling.]
Ooh! "Both.
" You were right.
The Crocodile Ambassador is really whipping these doofuses into shape.
[laughs.]
I mean, look at them.
They're whipp-ed into shape.
[blows whistle.]
- Aww.
- Hoo-ah! I'm the big winner here.
Hoo-ah! Wow, you have really soft paws.
[both.]
Oh, thank you.
Hector, you're up next, hon.
Nope.
We're not doing this.
Where's he going? At his age, I assume he's off to complain about something that confuses him.
Dang ding-dongs and their stupid manners, telling me what to do.
[rustling.]
- Who's there? - [rustling.]
[grumbling.]
Whoa! - [groaning.]
- [burps.]
What do you bumpkins want? [scorpion screeches.]
We have come to join your rebellion, Wise Leader.
[grunts.]
Mm-hmm.
What the heck are you going on about? King Julien brought in that fancy-pants gator to teach us how to act.
But we already knows how to act good.
[gargles, spits.]
[grimacing, shrieks.]
You don't sneak up on somebody like that! Look, I don't know who you think I am, but I ain't wise and I'm not a leader.
That's the sort of wise thing a leader would say right there.
We're not doing this.
Now leave me alone.
[all.]
We're not doing this.
Stop it.
I just want to be left alone.
We all just want to be left alone.
We all just want to be left alone.
You think they're ready for this jelly, Mo-Mo? I can't wait be the belle of the ball! The Ambassador has spent weeks preparing the kingdom.
He says this debutante ball will be the social event of the season.
Oh, yeah! It's time to party! [beatboxing.]
[classical music playing.]
[Julien.]
Eh? DJ Glitterbunz, and this is a pleasant, relaxing invasion.
You snitches.
[singing.]
[flies buzzing.]
Hmm? [all chattering.]
Doesn't he look exquisite? A paragon of class and grace.
Hoo-ah.
- What? - Welcome.
Isn't this a magnificent ball? It took some doing, but I've civilized this place.
You now have the most well-mannered kingdom on the island.
I don't know if you've noticed, but nobody's droppin' booty to the floor! And this music is weak sauce! What did you do to them? I introduced them to The Way of Von Hootenpuff.
But if you'd like to go back to your old heathen customs, simply tell me to leave.
Fine.
- [yells.]
Clover! - You beckoned me? [chuckling.]
[screams.]
Clover, get this poseur outta here! Oh, no, I would never.
I do hope we can all remain cordial and polite, King Julien.
[Crocodile Ambassador.]
Oh, well said, [laughs.]
Miss Clover.
Well said, indeed.
[organ music playing.]
[sniffles.]
And Mildred sayeth, "It is considered improper to wear white slacks after Labor Day.
Breaking wind in mixed company is a grave breach of etiquette.
" - [groans.]
- [all gasp.]
Can I get a witness? [lemurs cheering, chattering.]
Oh! Thank you, Mildred! [kisses.]
Oh! Yeah! However did we get by without all these rules? We were in the Dark Ages! Yes, who knew I had so much to feel shame about? This whole village has gone cuckoo bird clocks! Something here stinks.
[Mort.]
Oh, is it me? I rolled around in an onion patch earlier to protect against werewolves.
Yeah.
[groans, exclaims in fear.]
We should probably talk somewhere else.
All these rules.
Aah! I feel like I'm in a straitjacket.
And it's so itchy! [exclaims in annoyance.]
[Crocodile Ambassador.]
Rules are important, King Julien.
[stammering.]
What-in-who-the-what-now? Rules keep us safe.
Rules keep us from having to answer the big questions all on our own.
Oh, you don't mind if I come in and visit for a spell, Your Majesty? Do you? [growling.]
- [exclaims in delight.]
- [sighs.]
A token of my affection, as is customary when visiting a friend or acquaintance's home, per The Von Hootenpuff Way.
Ooh.
Chocolates.
[straining.]
[sniffs, clears throat.]
King Julien, thank you for being such a gracious host.
[munching.]
I noticed you have not been attending our town hall get-togethers.
Yeah, well, uh, we've been busy, getting together The polite thing to do would be to send a handwritten RSVP.
Okay, buddy.
Is that sea salt? I think we've had about enough of your rules and your meddling.
My peoples are dying to party down, get crunk like they used to.
I've shown your kingdom that life is about more than feeling good and having fun with your friends.
It is about Ow! discipline, sacrifice and chewing with your mouth closed.
[continues munching.]
But don't take my word for it.
[both.]
Huh? The entire kingdom is on its best behavior, Master.
- Finally, we have order.
- [shrieks.]
Never fear, King Julien.
I am willing to give you a special, one-on-one training.
And I've never met anyone I can't help to see the light.
Clover? [exclaiming in fear.]
Save yourself, Your Majesty! Run! - [screams.]
- [growls.]
[screaming.]
[groans.]
Oh, I do hope you weren't grievously injured in that collision.
Please come with us so that we may tend to your injuries.
I'll brew some sun tea.
[gasps.]
Sun tea? Oh, look! Someone's eating an entree with a salad fork! [all gasp.]
[screeching.]
[squealing.]
[panting.]
Everybody's gone loco, Mort.
I never thought I'd say this, but somehow, you're not the village weirdo any more.
Had to pass the torch some time, I suppose.
Care to take a load off? Since when does Mort know where the bread plate goes? I just whipped up the most whimsical cucumber sandwiches.
Aah! He's gotten to you too! [screams.]
Mmm.
That's actually Nope! [screaming.]
How many more times do I have to tell you birdbrains? You gotta stop listening to me and start listening to yourselves.
Listen up, people.
He's commanding us to listen to ourselves! Hector, buddy.
Oh, thank Frank.
You gotta help me, man.
Nope, not doing this.
Nope.
Not doing this.
[groans.]
All right.
What do you need, King Julien? That fancy-pants alligator fella hijacked my kingdom and made it a cesspool of good manners, thoughtfulness, and responsible actions.
Well, if there's one thing I hate Well, I hate a lot of things.
But one of them is when some busybody tries to tell me what to do.
Me too! Unless it's you doin' the telling, Wise Leader.
Not doing this! [growling.]
I say we should put that jerk in his place.
[gasps.]
You'll really help me? Yeah, mostly 'cause I'm sick of these rubes following me around like I got all the answers.
I want to be left alone again.
Hey, good with me.
I'm not picky about motivations.
"So, you got a plan?" he asked, already knowing the answer is no.
My plan is to exploit the Ambassador's greatest weakness.
[gasps.]
Is there gluten in this? But I'm allergic to gluten.
Everybody knows that.
Ah, I see.
We're talkin' killing the guy.
Okay, I'm in.
Exactly.
No, wait! - Hey! - No! No, we give him a cake that's full of gluten during a big public event.
Once the butt-fireworks begin, nobody's gonna be able to look at him as an authority on etiquette.
[laughs.]
And we break the voodoo he's putting on everybody.
All we're going to need is a clever disguise.
[classical music playing.]
There's a good little chap.
Now, do the box step, and you shall be rewarded with an aperitif.
What the heck did he do to your brain, woman? I doubted him at first too.
But the Ambassador showed me this is a better way.
- [Maurice screaming in pain.]
- We don't have to behave like wild animals.
[yells.]
We are wild animals! This guy's just misquoting the stuff in the book to make people do what he says.
Is that so wrong? Aren't our citizens living better lives now? Think about it, Maurice.
The whole island walking in lockstep.
With no more troublemakers or creative types.
No more weird haircuts or indie folk bands.
- Or one-lemur shows.
- [purring.]
Just order.
- [classical music playing.]
- [groans.]
You no longer need to fear responsibility for your own actions.
All is laid out for you, as long as you do as Mildred commands.
I'm sure you'll come around in time, Maurice.
[Maurice wailing.]
Okay, people, keep the chit-chat to a minimum.
None of us have the manners to have a real conversation with these people.
And I feel real pretty.
Not that anybody complimented me yet.
[gurgles.]
[all exclaim in anger.]
[gulps.]
[contently.]
Hmm.
[lemur humming.]
[Julien growls.]
[all exclaim in surprise.]
[in woman's voice.]
Good evening, Master William.
Uh My, it sure is uh, weather this evening.
[kisses.]
[giggles.]
Enchanté.
And who's your lovely companion? [giggles.]
Oh, stop, you.
Horst, come greet our guests.
No wedding rings.
You brought a cake? Oh, how thoughtful.
It looks very [slurping.]
moist.
[grunts.]
My, my.
I'd never let a suitor handle my baked goods without a proper introduction.
A lady like yourself shouldn't carry her own cake like some sort of coal miner.
Here.
[both grunting, groaning.]
I've got it.
- Oh, spunky! - Oh! - [Horst gasps.]
- [Julien gasps.]
How dare you impugn my dignity, whatever that means? Madame, are you King Julien? [exclaims.]
Me? No! I'm his third cousin, twice removed on his granddaddy's butler's side.
And when he finds out about Hey! I know just what to do with this.
[in normal voice.]
That's my cake! [in woman's voice.]
I mean, my cake.
A present for the Crocodile Ambassador.
It's The Von Hootenpuff Way, for crying out loud.
King Julien, I presume? I am Grunt-hilda Knickerbocker Fancypants [in normal voice.]
Yeah, it's me.
King Julien, you have terrorized this island with your bad behavior.
And now, you will answer for it.
There will be a public inquisition.
Uh, that's probably bad, right? [straining.]
Your once-great king stands trial for a number of grievous faux pas.
How do you plead, Mister Julien? Usually like, "Oh, please! Let me go!" Then I'd get on my knees and then I really beg.
You know.
[laughs.]
The king's still got it, right, gang? I find myself wanting to laugh at his jape, but feeling too ashamed to do so.
That's great, hon.
Stuff it all down.
Madam Von Hootenpuff would be proud.
Now, what are these supposed flopahs I'm accused of, by the way? One each of the following.
Failure to say "Gesundheit" after a sneeze.
Improper hand positioning during a foxtrot.
High-fiving a member of the clergy.
Failure to salute a royal baby.
Eating while on the toilet.
Pretending the Five-Second Rule is a real thing.
I object.
Sustained.
Your Honor, this is a kangaroo court.
And not a real one with real kangaroos, 'cause that would be awesome.
[chuckling.]
I mean, real kangaroos.
In a court.
Please refrain from commenting until I'm finished.
You are finished! [all gasp.]
Hmm? What happened to us, my peoples? When did we all get so uptight? Remember how much fun we used to have before this guy started bossing us around? I am merely doing what the book says.
That's the thing.
We don't need the book.
We were getting along great without it before Maurice had the bright idea to ruin everything.
[Maurice.]
That was your idea! Shut it! [sighs.]
This book was supposed to make us nicer to each other.
To be better friends and citizens.
But he's using it to divide us.
[scoffing.]
Do we really need a list of approved fonts for thank-you notes? Or do we just need to remember to appreciate and care more about each other? And if this book is getting in the way, I say, let's throw it out and go back to how things were.
What do you say? Huh? Right? - [Horst slurping.]
- Who's with me? Rude.
Yes, he completely interrupted the Ambassador.
The nerve! [all gasping, grumbling.]
[laughs triumphantly.]
Seems as though the people have spoken.
You are hereby sentenced to [gurgling.]
[farts.]
[all gasping, murmuring.]
What? This only happens when You eat gluten.
Ha! [grunts.]
Clover? I was working as a double agent, Your Majesty.
[Maurice.]
Oh, come on, you tortured me, man! It was for the good of the kingdom! Mostly.
Once I understood the Ambassador's plan, I had to stop it.
I gave him the gluten-filled cake, knowing it would cause him to [farting.]
Oh, did he just He swore a gentleman never did that.
Now, now.
Everyone, please calm [farting.]
[laughing hysterically.]
[both laugh.]
This is highly uncivilized.
[farts.]
[bird squawks.]
[all laughing.]
You You animals! [farting.]
[laughing.]
[cheering.]
Are you okay, Your Majesty? I'm better than okay.
[chuckles.]
I have an announcement to make.
From now on, nobody has to follow any rules at all.
[all cheering.]
[chuckles nervously.]
Absolutely no rules seems like a bad idea, Your Majesty.
Oh, way to bring us all down, Clover.
All right, as long as you're not hurting anybody, let your freaky flags fly.
Keep Madagascar weird, y'all! Peace! [all cheering.]
Really? How weird? Not you, Mort.
[classical music playing.]