All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017) s01e07 Episode Script

Cult Fiction

1 - [MORT CHUCKLES] - [GROWLS] - [MORT] I'm okay! - [LAUGHS] [THEME SONG PLAYING] Party [JULIEN] Stop the dancing and listen up.
Julien was on an island Filled with Russian chimps To get them as his army He helped them build a blimp Clover got sucked into a cult And lost her way as a result Mort searched for a place to hide But Timo wouldn't let him inside And Stanislav wants to go home [JULIEN] Chapter siem.
[MONKEYS CHATTERING] [INHALES SHARPLY] Ah! I can almost smell the kingdom beneath the overwhelming stench of borscht coming from the kitchen.
[LAUGHS] Maurice! Get out here and take a whiff.
No, thanks, Your Majesty.
[RETCHES] I'm good right here.
What's with the frowny face? Newsflash.
Everything's great.
[CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY] We have an army, and we're on our way to Madagascar to fight Koto, and get my kingdom back.
Booyah! All we need to do now is get in contact with Clover and tell her the plan.
- [STATIC] - Uh, any luck, Ted? No, nothing yet.
But I did have a very pleasant chat with a truck driver named Darryl.
Forget the truck driver, Ted, and find Clover.
Roger that.
Clover, do you copy? Come in, Clover.
Are you out there? This is Ted, over.
You okay, Pancho? Yeah, you're acting weird.
Weirder than your usual weird.
I'm not the only one.
Is it me, or has the vibe on this ship changed? - Uh, nope.
- Yeah, Pancho.
Everything seems normal to me.
Well, as normal as being on a zeppelin full of monkeys can be.
I'm telling you, the monkeys are looking at us differently.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES] You don't think that they know, do you? Know what? - What we did.
- Huh? - That we sabotaged the first zeppelin.
- Huh? [ALL SCREAMING] Oh, yeah.
Even if they don't know for sure we did it, maybe they're suspicious.
[LAUGHING] Relax, you guys.
They're just a bunch of dumb space monkeys.
- [LAUGHING] - Huh? There's no way, in the entire universe, throughout all time-space, that they are suspicious.
I suspicious.
Lemurs hiding something.
After we eat borscht, Caesar learn truth.
[CROWD] This is happening! Tie them up with your love.
And these ropes.
Don't want these two gettin' away.
Uh, now would be a good time to do something.
Don't you two have a love-hate-love thing going on? Try appealing to her as a friend.
- Oh.
[GIGGLES] - Your betrayal stings like salt poured into the open wound of a thousand mewling sparrows.
You've forgotten your mission.
Somewhere, tears of the Jarsh-Jarsh drown the tomorrow of yesterday's dreams.
[CLOVER] No, no, no, Sage.
Can't you see, brother? Jarsh-Jarsh has sent me here.
This is where I am supposed to be.
This is happening.
[ALL] This is happening.
Yeah, she's gone.
Uh, we're gonna have to, uh We'll fight our way out.
I'll go left, you go right.
Ready? No.
I swore these paws would never perpetuate violence.
If I break that vow, my soul is already dead.
Seriously? No.
I started, "This is Happening," remember? Whose face is on the brochure? Yeah.
See? That's me.
Shouldn't you all be listening to me? You betrayed us.
- Wha - I'm in charge now.
Huh? [SCREAMS ANGRILY] This is happening! [GRUNTS] Uh.
This cannot be happening.
Easy, now.
Timo, call off your robot, now! - I can't.
- Get back to your room.
That's what I was trying to tell you before.
She's gone haywire.
I programmed her to be a doting mother/security system.
[LAUGHS] [SNORTS] But somehow, she gained sentience and Room.
She's been keeping me a prisoner in my own home.
- [GASPS] - Who are you and what are you doing here? I need to borrow Timo's radio to You cannot use the radio.
But I need to try to contact King Julien! Who is this King Julien? King Julien? Why? Where is he? I don't know where he went.
After Koto took over the kingdom Took over the kingdom? Nobody tells me anything.
[SNORTS] And now Koto's going to marry the Crocodile Princess.
At least someone around here is getting married.
- [GROWLS ANGRILY] - Which will make him more powerful than ever.
If we don't do something to stop him, King Julien may never get his kingdom back.
- Oh, no! - Sheket.
Sheket bevakasha.
- You are an intruder.
- [GASPS] And you must be destroyed.
No! Please! Because you said please, I will destroy you after breakfast.
[GRUNTS] [EXCLAIMS IN SHOCK] I ain't never gonna squeal.
Never! I'm no rat.
- [GRUNTS] - Julien made me.
He ordered me to sabotage the first zeppelin and I rigged it to blow up.
I shouldn't, maybe, have said that.
Aww, sheesh.
That smarts.
Happening, happening, happening, happening.
Happening! Oh.
Hello, Sister Pam.
I was just doing my daily happenations.
Hmm I can see that.
And I have a level-three happening session in five.
[LAUGHS] I am so close to that free Froyo.
[LAUGHS EXCITEDLY] You know the toppings are extra, right? Yeah, yeah.
The depressed rat in the broom closet told me that.
Anyway, what can I do for you? Well, as you know, I have become the de facto leader of the Happeners.
And as the leader, I wanna ensure that there are no more disruptions.
- Of course.
I want that, too.
- Right.
The thing is, you're new around here.
How do I know you're really loyal? I turned in Sage and Fred for being traitors, remember? [SCOFFS] That doesn't mean anything.
Could just be your way of getting in and taking us down from the inside.
It doesn't mean you're a true Happener.
I am a true Happener.
I swear I am.
And you know what? I will do anything to prove it.
Anything! Well, there is this one little old thing you could do.
Get rid of Fred and Sage! Permanently! [LAUGHING MANIACALLY] On it.
Um, sorry.
Didn't realize you were doing the whole, um, the laugh thing.
- Can I join? - Of course.
I'll count you in.
Three, two, one.
Oh, yum.
- I haven't eaten in a while.
- [TIMO SIGHS] But even if I had, this would still be really tasty.
Good job, Mom-Bot.
[CHOMPING] Why aren't you eating, Timo? For the hundredth time, I'm not hungry! Don't use that tone with me.
You hear the way he speaks to me? His own mother.
You'll never find a wife with that attitude.
I'll never find a wife because you won't let me out of here! [HIGH-PITCHED] I want grandchildren! [NERVOUSLY] Uh, anyway, thank you for the food.
You're welcome, bubala.
Have some more kasha varnishkes.
Sure, you love him now, but just five minutes ago, you were gonna destroy him.
I changed my mind.
A mother is allowed to change her mind.
Do you see what I put up with? Um [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] No, yes.
Maybe I will not destroy Mort.
I am enjoying his company too much.
It is nice to have someone around the house who appreciates me.
Speaking of things around the house, could I, maybe, use the radio now? [HIGH-PITCHED] Keep eating! [CRYING] All right, Pam.
Now, stand right here.
- Why? - I'm going to give you a demonstration of what I have planned for tomorrow's execution.
I think you're really gonna like it.
- Okay.
- Ready? - Hmm.
- Imagine that this is Sage.
I like to mumble and say things that don't make sense.
The broom in the wind, and Namaste, and Y-Yeah, I get the idea.
So, first, we'll start off with this.
- Then a little bit of this.
Followed by [GRUNTS] [CHUCKLES] [GRUNTS] [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] - Oh, it's gonna be so good.
- Uh-huh.
One question.
Wouldn't it be simpler to just do it real quick? No.
Doing it my way will set an example.
Show everyone what happens to traitors.
They aren't just killed.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
They are elaborately killed.
[LAUGHING] [LAUGHS] Oh, you're good.
That kind of thinking is just what the Happeners need.
See you tomorrow.
Where am I? That is a very good question.
Are you sure this is your path? Yes, Jarsh-Jarsh, I am a Happener.
For the first time in a long time, I have clarity, and a sense of Om.
I believe you have another purpose.
But But [SIGHS] You sent me here, remember? Isn't this where I'm supposed to be? With the hmm and the haa [SCREAMS] You're so confusing! I wish you would just [MUMBLES] Just leave me alone! [SCOFFS] Very well.
What's going on? [PANTING] [JARSH-JARSH] Keep running.
See where this path will lead you.
No! [JARSH-JARSH] This is what will happen if you stay on this path.
[BAWLS] Why didn't Clover do something? [CRYING] Feet.
- Mort, get off.
- I love you! No.
[MORT LAUGHING] - [MORT] It's all Clover's - [JULIEN] Fault.
So, Mort, what do you do? Uh, well, I recently wrote a play.
You hear that, Timo? Mort wrote a whole play.
What have you done lately? [GRUMBLES] All this delicious iced tea has really made me have to go splishy.
I'll be right back.
What do you say? Oh, uh, may I be excused? Such a mensch.
You see that, Timo? Maybe you should take some notes.
Mort could teach you a thing or two about manners.
- You are excused.
- Yay! Hmm.
If I were a radio, where would I be? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? [CHUCKLES, EXCLAIMS FRUSTRATEDLY] Aw, nothin'.
[GASPS] Hmm.
[CHUCKLES] Hello, King Julien? Are you out there? King Julien? King Julien? Breaker, breaker.
This here is Darryl.
- Huh? - Uh, come on back there, Teddy Bear.
King Julien? Hello? Clover? Clover? Just trying out my new trucker lingo.
[LAUGHS] This is Teddy Bear.
Come on back.
- Ted.
Is that you? - Oh, golly.
Well, aren't you a sound for sore ears.
Where's King Julien? I need to talk to him! Mort, you little freak.
Oh, King Julien, you're alive.
I knew you were alive.
- What's going on in the kingdom? - Hi, Maurice.
Well, where to start? Well, I wrote a play.
Actually, it was more like a space opera.
- Set on planet Kreptal - Get to the point, Mort.
The Crocodile Ambassador made a deal with Koto.
So now Koto plans to marry the Crocodile Princess which would make his empire unstoppable.
You have to hurry back and stop the wedding.
Say what? - [MONKEYS GROWLING] - Hold on a sec, monkeys, I'm on the phone.
The Crocodile Ambassador is marrying off his daughter? Oh, no - [GROWLING ANGRILY] - Can you guys give us space, please? Don't worry, Mort.
I'm on my way to fight Koto, and I've got a whole army with me.
[GRUNTING] King Julien? King Julien.
[EXCLAIMING] [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] [SCREAMS, GRUNTS] Pancho, what did you do? I told them everything, King Julien.
I'm sorry.
I'm weak.
Weak! - [PANCHO EXCLAIMS IN PAIN] - You and friends lie.
You and friends make explosion.
You and friends will be execute.
[CHEERING] "Will be execute"? No! King Julien! Who are you talking to? Um Darryl? [SCREAMS] [HIGH-PITCHED] I said no radio! [CHOKING] Sorry.
Happening happening happening Happening - Bring out the traitors.
- [CROWD CHEERING] Change of plans.
What are you doing? I knew you couldn't be trusted.
I have been trusted to do what is right for the Happeners.
And this, this is not what's right.
'Cause I've got something better.
[CHUCKLES] Reprogramming.
[SCOFFS] Fantastic.
I couldn't agree Wait.
Reprogramming? Doesn't that involve messing with our brains? I-I like my brain as it is.
Sage? I don't believe in attachments.
My brain is a citizen of the world.
It can go where it wants.
We must make our numbers grow.
So that we can become bigger and stronger.
So that we can become unstoppable! [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] Unstoppable.
[LAUGHS] Yes! - See, I knew you'd understand.
- [BEEPS] [ALL GASP] - What is that? - A reprogramming screen.
Built it myself.
Always been a bit handy.
Trust me, Pam.
This is what is best for our brothers and sisters.
For our family.
For your family.
[GRUNTING] How can you meditate at a time like this? [CHATTERING ANGRILY] What do we do? [WHISPERING] Okay, everybody.
On my signal, make a run for Now! Go now! Get them! - [ALL SCREAMING IN PANIC] - [CHATTERING ANGRILY] Guys, this way.
[SCREAMS] [JULIEN] Not this way.
[GRUNTING] You guys almost killed me.
You said to follow you.
- You did.
You did say that.
There has to be a way off this thing.
What if we got some parachutes and just jumped? Uh, I'm not loving that idea.
Gonna have to agree with Maurice on that one.
- [MONKEYS CHATTERING] - [GASPS] Well, we can't just stand here.
Head for that boat.
Think we have time for a bathroom break first? I really gotta go! No, Pancho.
[CHATTERING] King Julien, you do remember that we're very high up in the air, right? Of course I remember.
And you do remember that boats can't fly, right? Oh, shut it, Maurice.
- Hang onto your booties.
- Oh, no.
[ALL SCREAMING] Finally, lemur gone.
Now we go back to Russia.
- [WATER FLUSHES] - Hoo-ah.
Uh You are gonna wanna let that air out.
I do not tolerate liars in my house.
- Timo, get out - [MORT SCREAMING] - This way, Mort.
- My sciatica! [MORT WHIMPERING] [PANTING] - What do we do? - Don't worry.
I have a plan.
[LAUGHS, SNORTS] I will distract her, and all you have to do is get inside her controls compartment and shut her down.
Where's the control compartment? That's the tricky part.
It's in her ear.
[LAUGHS, SNORTS] Seriously, nerd? Yeah, I know.
Next robot I build will have a remote.
Maybe you should think about not building any more robots! [RUMBLING] Good point.
Where are you? Timo.
- [CLANGS] - I'm over here.
Okay, Mort, any time now.
[MORT GRUNTS] - [GRUNTING] - What are you [HIGH-PITCHED] Get out of my head! [GRUNTING] Get out of my head! I'm in.
So many wires.
Timo, what do I do? Anything! Wires and buttons.
Buttons Why aren't you eating? Have you put on weight? Cut your hair.
Have you met any nice girls lately? Your cousin married a doctor.
Mort, hurry! You were always a disappointment to me, Timo.
- [EXCLAIMS IN PANIC] - Here goes nothing.
We actually did it.
[GASPS] King Julien.
King Julien? King Julien, are you there? Answer me.
Open up those eyes, focus in, and just look at it! Look at it! Whoa.
Can't look away.
Hey, wait.
I feel nothing.
Hello, friend.
I feel free.
[LAUGHS] That's right.
You are free.
This isn't a reprogramming device.
- It is a deprogramming device.
- Hmm? [CHUCKLES] See? Gotcha.
Switched 'em.
That's what I did, right there.
[CHUCKLES] Thank you, Clover.
I can't believe I fell for this stupid cult in the first place.
They told me I'd get a free TV.
All I had to do was listen to the seminar.
Guys, I know that "This is Happening" was kind of a scam, but I have this new idea that's going to blow your minds.
- Tomorrow Starts Yesterday.
- [CHEERING] I am 100% on-board.
Do you take credit cards? [LAUGHS] Then let's all go find an abandoned office park and set up shop, people.
[ALL CHEERING] Thank you for sparing my life.
Don't thank me, thank Jarsh-Jarsh.
He found a way to reach me and bring me back.
I know now what he was trying to teach me by sending me here.
- What? - That we are a team.
I forgot that when I sold you out to Pam.
But I won't forget it again.
The only way we're gonna defeat Koto is if we work together.
You were right.
Jarsh-Jarsh really is wise.
Great, you guys.
This is We're right back where we started.
In the middle of the ocean! Well, it's better than being on a rickety old dirigible with a bunch of hostile monkeys.
Oh, is it, Ted? Is it? Is it really? Is it? Oh, golly, what am I saying? Of course it isn't.
It's the sun, King Julien.
I'm delirious.
Please forgive me.
[EXCLAIMS IN PAIN] Wait, where's Pancho? Forget Pancho.
You heard what Mort said.
We need to get back to my kingdom and stop that wedding.