Ally Mcbeal s01e17 Episode Script

Theme of Life

Get some energy! Is everybody ready? Five, six, seven, eight! Three, six, nine The goose drank the wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke And the monkey got choked But they all went to heaven On a little rowboat Other side! - I thought this relieved stress.
- Just keep jabbing.
Hey, here we go! Kick, kick, kick, kick! - I'm gonna have a stroke.
- Not on me.
This is great! Move those feet.
Punch, jab, jab, jab.
Punch, jab, jab, jab.
Punch I've been down this road Theme of Life Walking the line That's painted by pride And I have made mistakes in my life That I just can't hide Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring I got myself together Now I'm ready to sing I've been searching my soul tonight I know there's so much more to life Now I know I can shine a light To find my way back home Oh, baby, yeah Oh, yeah - I am so sore.
- I feel good.
- You would.
- Sorry? - Ally? - What? Damn it! That hurt me.
Sorry, John.
I'm scared about this trial coming up.
Renee said boxing helps.
I've been doing it.
It doesn't help! I feel like kicking people, which is wrong! And instead of kicking I just stomp! - How weird is that? - Ally? Yeah.
My therapist.
Go to her.
This is the woman that you go for smile therapy? - Yes.
- I won't be disparaged.
- I didn't.
You took a moment.
I'm gonna give boxing a chance.
Plus, this woman She gets results.
Excuse me? What is this Curray depo? - I had Richard reassign it.
- You fobbed it off on me? No, I didn't.
Richard said - I got it! - What is it? The Curray case, I don't want it.
- I'm in trial.
- Just meet with her.
I'm not taking on another case.
- I'm overloaded.
- I'm senior partner here.
You're not the only one Fight, fight.
Bicker, bicker.
Ally? Oh, my God! Are you all right? Yeah.
You asked me to come here.
To go over my testimony? Oh, yeah.
I just I just wanted to go over Oh, God.
I think I have a hematoma.
Let me see.
Just a little charley horse.
Put some ice on it.
Keep rubbing it.
Ah! The plaintiff is testifying today.
I don't plan on crossing her tough.
I don't want to be beating up on her.
Oh, John.
Just going over my strategy.
Ah! Yes.
I know someone who says it's good luck to rub his client's butt.
I hurt myself, John.
This wasn't for luck.
Richard! Richard! Richard! I am having a philosophical problem with the way we do our business.
I'm glad you told me.
I appreciate your honesty.
Might I tell you the problem? - Oh, okay.
- We take cases with no legal merit.
Eva Curray has no cause of action.
Of course she does.
She's gotten good treatment from her boss.
Sexual harassment? It is not our place to play judge.
We don't decide merits.
We're fighters to fight the client's fight.
We don't decide right or wrong, or who shall win.
I'm offended by the notion that the boundaries of the law Excuse me.
Is our limitation.
I am offended by the notion that we'd deny blazing new trails.
Where would civil rights be without our willingness to take the law into uncharted territory? The just lawyer doesn't look at the law.
He - looks at unfairness and says, "Not " Okay.
Billy? You feel overwhelmed.
I've never gone diving.
You said kickboxing would help.
- Maybe if you took one in the head.
- What? No, it's just This is a case with a real client.
I am representing a doctor.
I'm afraid to be exposed as a fraud.
Like I'm not a real attorney.
I think I'm losing my mind.
- I can't lose my mind now.
- I agree.
A needle in a haystack.
- What? - Nothing.
You've insulted me twice in 20 seconds.
We ready? Well, I'll catch you later.
Good luck.
- Harold Lane represents them.
- Yeah, why? A former D.
, very good.
- May I make a suggestion? - What? Limit the hand movement.
It's distracting.
That's not a criticism.
Just an advisory.
- What do I do with my hands? - You swish them.
I swish them? As you argue, they swish.
Often in unison, sometimes in alternating patterns.
There's anecdotal evidence that it could trigger seizure.
There's nothing to substantiate that.
Don't you think what I do with my hands is unconscious? - Yes.
- I'm in a trial that I may be overmatched and you tell me to watch the hands.
How effective am I going to be when I'm concentrating on the hand swish? How focused will I be if I worry about a seizure? If you stare any longer, I'll chop your kneecap! I am a trained kickboxer! No! - It was an emergency, Mrs.
- But you don't do that! They stuck part of a big hog in me! Your own liver was failing without a transplant.
You don't open somebody up and stick part of a hog liver inside her.
- How do you feel, Mrs.
Goldstein? - I'm still a little traumatized.
I keep thinking of them cutting into that big, fat hog.
Taking out that big, fat hog liver and sticking it in me.
After two days you had a human liver transplant to replace the big, fat hog liver.
- Right? - Yes.
Do you think it's possible that Dr.
Butters did what he had to do under extreme pressure, exigent circumstances to prevent you from dying? Is that possible? He could've used a machine.
He could've asked me when I woke up.
Doctors today treat you like you're just a piece of meat.
I'm nobody's meat! Big, fat hog.
It didn't go great.
But it went well.
I wasn't authorized.
That's what we have to handle.
We'll be able to.
If we show that you saved her no jury is gonna come back, and - Ally? - Huh.
What's the matter? What? Nothing.
- Nothing.
What were you saying? - You were talking.
The fact that you saved her life counts more than anything else.
What is it? Nothing, I was just thinking about my baby My cross! My cross-examination.
- Well, here's my car.
- Okay.
Will you let me drive you home? Um, I live about three blocks away.
I enjoy the walk.
- Can I walk you then? - I'm fine.
Okay, well - See you in court.
- Yep.
You okay? Yeah.
Yeah, that's why I like to practice my walking.
Good night.
Why do I have to always fall down? I went out with Janet Reno.
He'll sic Kenneth Starr on you for obstruction of dating.
What're you thinking? By the time he's through, he'll subpoena everybody.
- I saw you! - Not your business.
Everything is my business when it comes to relationships! - Go have your own.
- I would if I - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- It's the shoes.
Stupid fashion people make us wear these things.
Oh, my God! John, are you okay? Are you all right? - Oh, all right! Richard! - Bygones.
- Richard! - What's with you? It's the shoes.
Can I talk to you two in private? - Positive? - Yes.
Richard and Janet Reno.
They both did the love giggle.
- What's the love giggle? - The love giggle.
You know.
And they were going into some apartment.
- Do I tell Whipper? - What? Don't we owe her something? - Don't you? - By not telling On the off-chance the messenger gets shot you cannot tell her.
Give Richard the chance.
- Ally? - What? We're late.
And please stop snapping at me! A pig liver transplant is experimental.
Was the doctor appropriate in performing it? It was not authorized.
But if he had waited to convene a committee, she could have died.
That is possible.
As Brigham's president you're glad he did that operation.
- I am.
- You point out there was no authorization to insulate yourself from liability.
Of course.
So, I'm up next.
Just tell the truth.
Be yourself.
- You're a terrific lawyer, Ally.
- Thank you.
Should we have lunch? No, I actually do my exercise thing during lunch.
Maybe someday you'll say yes to lunch or a ride home.
For now, we should focus on the trial.
My mother told me If I was a goodie That she would buy me a rubber dolly Three, six, nine The goose drank the wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke And the monkey got choked But they all went to heaven On a little rowboat Excellent work, ladies.
Don't forget your gear tomorrow.
- We were good.
- We were! Yeah.
Even me.
Just knowing that mental health is around the corner, I feel relaxed.
If you go to a therapist, pick a real one.
John told me that she would help me.
I trust him.
- So, you guys ready for a match? - A match? Tomorrow is intermediate match day.
You're advanced, I'll hook you up.
Ally, Georgia, you guys can fight each other.
- Oh.
- Well I guess.
Ally? - Sure.
- Great.
- A directed verdict? - You can't talk to me about the case.
If the trial were over soon and we didn't have to defend, we could take off early.
- Richard! - It's rhetorical.
What? I didn't do it, whatever it is.
- Give me your hand.
- Why? Give me your hand.
The other one.
- Give me.
- Okay.
What? What's the matter? I have a nose for two things.
The truth, and perfume.
- Your finger smells like Janet Reno.
- What? I remember what she was wearing.
She's in town! This finger has been on her wattle! You've fingered the Attorney General's wattle! I saw her, I went to wave hello.
You know, I might have nicked it.
- Get out.
- Whipper Get out, Richard.
It's happening more and more.
He jumps out at me.
From where? - Anywhere.
Usually I hear him first.
- "Ooga chucka.
" - Yeah.
"Ooga chucka.
" Last week he threw a spear.
Now he's playing hockey.
Seems like you're nuts.
A therapist shouldn't call her patients nuts.
You got a see-through baby "ooga chucking" spears.
You're doing this Lloyd Bridges thing.
You're a cracker.
But I'm gonna fix you.
Stand, please.
Raise your right knee as high up as you can.
Come on.
As high up as you can.
Now I want you to touch your nose with your left index finger.
Whistle, if you can.
- What therapy is this? - This isn't therapy.
I need to know you trust me.
If you do that, you must.
Now, tell me more about this Billy guy.
- It's your own fault.
- It is.
- What if Kenneth Starr knows? - Elaine.
- Dumped you again? - One finger strays, out I go.
Georgia, Elaine, what lie works here? Lying got you into this.
Try the truth.
- Seriously.
Elaine? - I know what'd work with me, but I'm - A slut.
- Exactly.
You're trying to get caught.
You want her to show you the door.
Whipper's right for me.
Some guys run from the woman they love.
They're afraid of losing control.
I read that.
- She'd gone into a coma.
- That serious? She was in severe liver failure.
I thought we we'd lose her.
- What did you do? - She needed a liver we didn't have.
So I instructed them to get me a pig.
- A pig liver is compatible with her? - It's close enough.
- Oh, I object to that.
- Miss Goldstein.
He just compared me to a giant hog! He's talking about liver compatibility.
Please sit.
Butters, what about this bio-artificial liver? It wouldn't have worked.
We needed desperate measures.
Otherwise, she would have died.
Other doctors thought the machine could've worked, right? - There's always differing opinions.
- Yes.
- And your opinion was, get the pig.
- Yes.
You've wanted to do a pig transplant, haven't you? I perform the transplant as indicated.
Yes, let's accept that.
But true or false: You got a grant to study these transplants.
- True.
- If you didn't do this transplant by 1997, you'd lose the grant.
- I take offense to that.
- Fine.
You'd lose the funding if you didn't do this transplant by 1997.
True or false? - True, but - Thank you, Dr.
Thank you.
- Why didn't you object? - It would've seemed protective.
I'm no Dr.
Frankenstein! You should've told me about that little grant thing.
It had nothing to do with that! It comes down to how things look.
It looked bad.
What are you saying? I'm evaluating our case.
I didn't like what I heard.
I don't blame you.
Having the pig handy is suspicious.
I just can't believe that a doctor would perform an operation just to advance his career.
Hey! When a patient is so naive, my own laughter isn't enough.
A therapist laughing at her patients? I don't laugh at all of them.
Now You've got problems.
Before deep-tissue, I'll work on the surface.
- Meaning what? - Billy.
One: Forget him! You may think he's the one guy But he's not.
Maybe, but you can't have him.
Second: Georgia.
You're friends.
It's so healthy I could puke.
But a part of you wishes her harm.
This kickboxing.
It's perfect! - You get to knock her down.
- Oh, come on.
Don't hurt her, but it would make you feel better to smack her a bit.
Is that the adult thing? No.
So? She's a beautiful woman, married to the man you love.
Smack her! - We don't deny human nature here.
- Anything else? - You need a theme song.
- I need a what? A song that you play in your head to make you feel better.
Am I on a hidden camera show? - It's vital.
- Do you have one? Since I was 10.
It works! - What is it? - "Tracy.
" My name.
- "Tracy"? - By the Cuff Links.
Every time I feel down, I hear it in my head.
Bah-bah, bah-bah-bah-bah You sing this in your head? Tracy, when I'm with you Something you do Bounces me off the ceiling Tracy Well, I'm in the middle of a trial.
I'm at the end of my rope.
I'm gonna go get some sleep.
If you want me to help you, listen to me.
Come back in tomorrow with a theme song, okay? Okay, I'll try.
Tracy, never let go I love you so I'll build a world around you Filled with love everywhere I love you so - You're gonna fight? - It's a boxing match, not a fight.
Can you jump on her head? There's not even that much real contact.
It's silly.
You're lawyers.
Most of the people in class are professionals.
- Who do you want to win? - Don't you have work? Yes, but this is what I do best.
John loaned it to me.
Are you ready for the big match? Oh! Oh! There's not even that much contact.
Right? It's more of a thigh-burner thing.
- It's just for fun.
- Yeah.
Hey! Hey, Greg.
Listen, opposing counsel called.
They'll settle for 125.
- Settle? - It'll be covered by your policy.
- We should think about it.
- Giving her money? The jury could think you had political motives.
I didn't! I won't settle.
I saved that woman's life.
Um John is doing the closing.
He has this take and I Now what? You don't believe me.
Can't invest enough? - No.
- Then what is it? I have a kickboxing match.
- I'm trying to pick a theme song.
- What? I'm not the most focused person right now.
You don't want to know.
John Cage is the best.
He should do the closing.
Ally, what I did in that operating room was not to advance my career.
I believe you.
That's why I want John to get us home.
Here and over there and there.
Well, this particular room has great history.
Judge Cone! I'm with the Attorney General.
- This is - We've met.
- Could I speak to you? - Well, sure.
- You spent time with Richard Fish.
- Oh, yes.
A delightful man.
He's my delightful man.
Or at least he was.
I'm not a big fan of the "reach out and touch" policy.
Pardon me? I'm a big girl.
Don't play the wallflower.
Any woman who lets a strange man finger her wattle has a problem.
If Richard Fish came on to me, which he didn't it may be because he prefers a woman of more character.
A woman who would gather facts before forming conclusions.
- Is that right? - Yes.
Maybe he prefers a woman whose hair is more natural than NutraSweet.
- What did you say? - There'll be an investigation.
And I think that I was upset.
Not as a lawyer gets upset with a client, but as a woman who gets upset with a man because she has certain hopes that maybe And the thing is, is that I do believe him.
He felt that he did what he had to do to save her.
He doesn't believe I believe him.
And that is bad.
Theme song? I was talking about a case and my personal life.
We're not ready for that.
Song? - Well - Let's hear it.
It's not really a theme song.
It's just something I sing to Let's hear it.
All right.
Just don't judge my voice.
Um I believe I am ready For what love has to bring I got myself together Now I'm ready to sing Stop, stop! Bad song.
- It doesn't! - I'd sooner dance to the scale.
A theme song has to give you a lift walking down the street.
It has to be something peppy, with bounce.
Bah-bah, bah-bah-bah-bah Please, no, no, no.
Not that song again.
Okay, what else you got? What other song do you hear sometimes? Well, there is this one song.
"Tell Him.
" I know that song.
I know something about love Yeah! But I hear it slow.
It's no good slow.
Start hearing it faster.
That is a great song! You're gonna feel better or your money back.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
Keep hearing that song.
This is progress.
There is hope.
- I thought nobody gets hurt.
- With me, somebody always gets hurt.
The artistic expression of the move is important.
Block, bob and weave.
- You guys ready? - Okay.
Let's fight.
It's like a dream.
Oh! I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
When she misses, it's a perfect opportunity.
- Get in there and counter! - Okay.
Been practicing.
Somebody just hit somebody.
Oh, my God! - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- That was a roundhouse.
- I've never done one before.
Doing great.
You okay? Yeah, just surprised me.
- I don't like this.
- It's terrible.
Oh, God! Are you okay? All right, I think that's all for today.
Time is up.
Match is over.
I got carried away.
You're not hurt, are you? This was a bad idea.
"Nobody gets hurt, just an exercise.
" My ribs are sore, I'll tell you.
You got carried away.
- You knocked your opponent out.
- Yes, but I only threw one punch.
So, was Dr.
Tracy right? Did it feel good to smack Georgia? Hmm A little.
Is that bad? Awful.
I have to get to court.
It wasn't sexual.
She thinks she kept getting soot on her neck.
It was sexual to you.
That matters.
I understand, but I'm not gonna defend myself.
It was wrong.
But I'll achieve certain successes.
But greatness? I'm upper-ordinary.
Not extraordinary, never will be.
Sitting across from Janet Reno, talking law, government I just wanted to reach out with my finger and touch greatness.
Are you serious? It makes me weak.
It makes me insecure.
I know this.
But when I'm old I'll be able to tell my grandchildren I touched greatness.
The Attorney General of the U.
, I touched her wattle.
It's not that you're sick, just that you're sick.
And by the time you get well, I could be dead.
No, Whipper, look.
I mean, just listen to me.
Listen to Go to it.
Oh, yeah.
What? What? - Did you enjoy that? - Yeah.
Then remember it.
Because that was the last time.
Excuse me? Goodbye, Richard.
I hope the jury doesn't think it's strange I'm not closing.
I know something about love You've gotta want If you want him to be The very part of you That makes you want to breathe Here's the thing to do, tell him That you're never gonna leave him Tell him that You're always gonna love him Tell him, tell him, tell him Tell him right now I know something about love You've gotta show it and Make him see the moon up above Go out and get him If you want it Make your heart sing out If you want him to only think of you Tell him that You're never gonna leave him Tell him that You're always gonna love him Tell him, tell him, tell him Tell him right now Ever since the world began It's been that way for man and woman Were created Meant for love We're not denying the possibility that Dr.
Butters saved Hanna Goldstein's life.
But she could've been saved by other means.
It was easy for Dr.
Butters to contact any number of relatives, or her husband who are authorized to give consent to the transplant.
He didn't do that.
The reason he didn't do that I apologize.
I was considering whether to use the pig call.
I tested it.
I meant to do so quietly.
I mis-blew.
I apologize.
The reason Dr.
Butters didn't call relatives is they might say no.
He desperately needed to do this liver transplant.
Thousands of research dollars, not to mention a certain renown.
It all came with taking the liver of that big, fat, giant hog and sticking it into Hanna Goldstein.
Never mind her dignity, or if she wanted it done.
Where's the dignity in medicine itself? I guess mechanical methods could've been used instead of the enormous farm animal.
But Dr.
Butters was in the ER that day.
He didn't have the luxury of hindsight, he had to call it.
He decided fast.
Her life was on the line.
And he saved that life, didn't he? And when she woke up, she didn't say thank you.
She didn't say, "It's good to be alive.
" She called her lawyer.
It troubles me.
I think of Dr.
Butters and the unfairness of being subjected to this despicable lawsuit.
But I also think of Michael.
He had a name, that hog.
It was Michael.
She never bothered with the name of this creature who gave his life for her.
She calls him "big, fat hog.
" "Giant pig.
" He gave his life.
He gave Miss Goldstein life.
Big, fat hog.
Never mind the ingratitude she's shown Dr.
Think about the one who died so she might live.
- Let us all say his name, please.
- Michael.
This jury pleases me.
It's over.
This time I can feel it.
I'm not gonna lecture a man who's down.
But you can't behave like that in a relationship.
I know.
Maybe I should just wear mittens.
- We'll talk later, okay? - Oh, sure.
Richard, you and I have had our differences.
But despite them, if you need a friend I'm here for you, physically.
This isn't a time to make rash decisions which men sometimes do when sexually frustrated.
I'm here to help you stay clearheaded, should you need me.
- Hey, Ally.
- Georgia, hi.
- Good fight last night.
- You too.
Oh! - You don't hurt at all? - I try not to show it.
Look, no hard feelings.
- I'm okay.
You okay? - I'm fine.
Ally, jury's back.
- Fine fight, Georgia.
- Thanks.
Well I gotta go to the clerk's office.
Want to grab a beer after? Sure.
Sounds great.
- Okay.
Good luck.
- Thanks.
Oh! Thank you.
Have you reached your wattle? Verdict.
- We have.
- What say you? In the matter of Goldstein versus Butters on the count of negligent infliction of emotional distress we find in favor of the defendant.
Jury members, thank you for your service.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- It was the right verdict.
- It was.
Uh, hmm - I'm sorry if you think I doubted you.
- No, I didn't think that.
- Well - Well - Maybe dinner sometime? - Sure.
- All right, I'll call.
- Okay.
Thank you.
You stinker!
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