Ally Mcbeal s02e20 Episode Script

Only the Lonely

At first I was a skeptic.
Then I started feeling toned.
My face was less mushy.
It's amazing! About a month after I started wearing it men began making advances.
Younger men.
It's not just for women.
I lead a rigorous life.
The face bra neutralizes negative effects of my daily rigor.
I got results in three months, less excess skin.
And you too can look younger in just three months.
Scientific studies show gravity alone causes sagging of the skin especially for those who exercise regularly.
Now, you at home can get this revolutionary Miracle Face Bra.
Shave years off your appearance.
And I'm not just the owner, by the way.
I'm a customer.
- Can you believe it? - No, Elaine.
I don't think any of us can.
I just want you to know, I don't care how wealthy I get I will never leave the firm.
You people are my life.
Only The Lonely First up, Sharpe vs.
Volpe Packard.
No settle? - We go to trial.
I'm taking Ling.
- This is the bathing suit case? Why do we always represent the harassers in sexual harassment cases? This isn't sexual harassment.
It isn't.
- He makes them wear bathing suits.
- He doesn't make them do it.
Why is it women always feel harassed? You make yourselves out to be weaker.
By the way, men don't get their breasts done or obsess over their butt size.
Men don't try on 10 outfits before going out or care about their tummies.
You wanna condemn the people fixating on women's bodies? Condemn women.
- That was nice sharing.
- Ling, why don't you object to this? I brought the client in, which will help me make partner and have power.
Then I can end the chauvinism here.
Why don't you just go chew on it? - Chew on what? - I got the overnights.
Eight hundred orders.
Projections are on par with the Vege-matic.
Slightly less than spray-on hair.
They want to interview me for a cable consumer show.
I'm gonna be rich, rich, rich.
On that note, we' re done.
Billy, Ling, good luck.
Chew on what? - Richard, I need a moment.
- Go ahead.
T ake it.
I mean with you.
What's up? - You sense the change in me, don't you? - What change? - There's been a change.
- There has? - Yeah, since I turned 35.
- Big change? I've become bolder.
A little more predisposed to gather the rosebuds.
I'm not sure I follow, but I can't wait to see where you're headed.
In my heart, I feel a re-connection with Nelle.
A little voice told me, "Go to her.
" I've ignored it and denied it.
I'm not ignoring it anymore.
I'm going to her.
If there's a voice speaking to her, it isn't singing my praises.
She hasn't noticed the change.
- It's made me a little uptight.
- Bugger.
My question is, do you think that knee pit thing-? Should I try it? That's not something you wanna fool around with.
If you did use it, well she'd certainly notice the change then, wouldn't she? Hello, Elaine.
Aunt Gladys! My God! Hello! Hi! Wow! - You can save your "wows.
" - This is for you.
- What's this? - You're a legal secretary.
- You should recognize a summons.
- I'm sorry? I was like a mother to you.
This is the thanks I get? - What's the problem? - Are you her lawyer? - Well, does she need one? - I'm afraid she does.
My daughter invented the face bra four years ago.
She died in an accident 2 years ago.
Elaine stole the idea.
- What? - You thought I didn't know? - I didn't steal it! - You've been found out.
- I don't- - Don't say anything.
Let me see this.
- You should be put in jail.
- This is a lie.
Quiet! I am going to read this complaint, and then the lawyers will be talking.
- This is all a big- - Elaine.
I felt the policy offensive, demeaning and amounting to harassment.
Beach day? We' re a software company.
He wants us to wear bathing suits.
- They'd argue it wasn't a mandate.
- It wasn't.
But when 70 to 80 percent are doing it, those who don't I felt a little ostracized.
I should not have to look at half-naked men and women as I work.
- This was one day a month, correct? - Yes.
Playing devil's advocate, why not take that day off? Call in sick.
Why should I have to do that? Whether I stay home or I don't play along with the bathing suit theme either way I draw attention to the fact I'm not thrilled with my body.
It's unfair that I have to do that.
You were required to wear a bathing suit? - No.
- Thank you.
And when you say 70 percent did wear bathing suits actually many women just wore tops.
- They had pants or skirts on, right? - Yes.
You feel harassed by others dressing this way? Yes, when they do, it draws attention to why I don't- - The men wore bathing suits too.
- That's also horrendous.
I do not need to see their big beer bellies.
Just so we' re clear this bathing suit thing was for men and women alike? It was for men and women, Mr.
But that does not make it alike.
- How is it different? - Because it is.
- It's a lie.
- Okay.
- It's a lie.
- You've been saying that for an hour! Now, listen.
I have agreed to expedite the depositions.
I think that's best.
Your aunt will go first.
Let's do it.
What? Is there anything we should know going in? - Like what? - Like, did you rip off your cousin? We're here for you.
We just need to know, thief or not? - It was my idea.
- We had to ask.
- I told Martha about the idea.
- Were you and Martha close? I thought so.
Let's do a quick patent search.
Go from there.
- What about my interview on cable? - You might wanna put that on hold.
- John, hi.
- Hi.
How's it going? Fine.
You? Fine, fine.
So you don't like that bathing suit case, huh? - Did you want something? - No, no.
- What the hell was that? - I apologize.
Were you trying to get me off with that stupid knee pit thing? - She kicked you? - No, I caught a heel in the eye.
- What is this knee pit thing? - You don't want to know.
Why wouldn't I? Everybody thinks I don't like sex? Just because I never have it- I do remember it.
I have a vague memory of what sex is like.
As I recall, I liked it, okay? - Eight seconds.
- Excuse me? I came to talk.
You made it about you in eight seconds.
Your record is six.
About you.
Do women like to be taken or not? I read these articles that say women like to be dominated.
And a woman only wants a man who is capable of taking her.
Is that true? No.
Richard says with relationships I should listen to my southern compass.
I wouldn't rely on Richard for advice.
It's bad enough that you' re relying on me.
- Are you okay? - I miss him.
- Billy? - Greg.
I blew it, John.
I had a great guy, a doctor even.
Is he-? - Is he seeing somebody else? - He's just limited the field to not me.
I'm taking a second run at Nelle.
Maybe you should do the same with Greg.
- No, I don't know.
- Ally, you're almost 30.
Statistically, struck by lightning.
Now, it's time you have to make it happen.
We used to have Bermuda day at school.
Everyone wore shorts.
It would lift spirits.
- That's why you began bathing suit day? - In part.
We' re so serious.
Where's the law, "work can't be fun"? - You do this once a month? - People like work, they're productive.
You thought putting them in bathing suits It would make them energized and efficient.
You didn't think Vicky Sharpe might feel uncomfortable in this sexually- This wasn't done to her- What? You don't think she might be embarrassed to see people in bathing suits parading around the office? I don't think she should be embarrassed.
- What's going on? - This shouldn't disturb anyone.
So, what about the idea that this undermines the workplace? - What is this? - Aren't you asking us to believe women employees shouldn't object to others wearing bathing suits? I'm saying, who does it hurt? Members of the jury.
She told us how excited she was about how it neutralized gravity.
The day before she died she talked about doing an infomercial.
- An infomercial on the face bra? - Yes.
Claven, did Martha give you a reason to believe she invented this? Yes.
- What was it? - She told me she invented it.
- That's a lie.
I told her everything- - Elaine.
What was your relationship with Martha? We had our estrangements, like every mother and daughter.
- It's true she never had your approval? - Elaine said that? - It's true.
- Elaine.
- That's why she said she invented it.
- She did invent it! Did she offer anything in the way of evidence that she invented this? Here is the patent application, dated March 2, 1996.
And here are the various sketches she did.
- Did you steal it? - No- They have seven witnesses that she told.
That means Martha lied to them too.
I got the patent.
Martha was not very truthful.
She embellished worse than I did.
- If they can prove you stole it- - I didn't steal it! All right.
Why aren't you believing me? Do you have any documentation that goes back more than three years? I don't know.
I only talked about it with Martha.
I was afraid of somebody stealing the idea.
- Maybe we should make an offer.
- No! It's your word against a dead woman with seven witnesses.
I'm not settling.
I'm not letting them take this away from me.
This is not about me having a pathetic life.
This is my invention.
We have another one of your cousins to depose.
Let's see how it goes.
And we'll go from there.
- Damn it! - Sorry.
This is unbelievable.
Last night was the greatest night of my life.
And today I go head first into a toilet.
I knocked her into a fresh bowl.
You've been causing all sorts of excitement.
Nelle, I apologize for assaulting your knee.
I was- T rying to pave the road ahead.
A road you have no intention of taking.
Let's just go out.
We'll grab something to eat, and just go.
Like we read about those people with lives do.
All right.
But not to the bar.
If we go out together, we're going someplace else.
- That's fine.
- Okay.
- Where? - I'll pick a place.
I'll go out, John, but we need to leave the building.
- I felt I should wear a bathing suit.
- Why? I just started at the company.
My boss tells me this is done here.
I, of course, don't want to seem like I'm rejecting I suppose I felt pressure.
- Do you still? - No.
- Why is that? - Well I've been there longer, I feel less need to conform.
You've had some opportunity to get to know my client? Yes.
Is he someone who'd pressure an employee to put on a swimsuit? - No.
- And knowing the other employees now do they harass those who don't put on a swimsuit? - No.
- So you just perceived the pressure.
- When you see everyone- - I'm not blaming you.
But perhaps we shouldn't blame Mr.
Volpe, either.
- It is his company.
- Yes, it is.
When he testified he did this for office fun and spirit do you have any reason to doubt him? - No.
- Thank you, ma'am.
Maybe we are the weaker sex.
- That's what the laws say.
- They say men shouldn't harass us.
Why can't we just stick up for ourselves? Using the law is sticking up for yourself.
Society tells us to be the weak and demurring gender.
If we're the sexual predators, it's unseemly.
It isn't fair.
We have to sit and wait to be asked out, wait to be called- Sorry.
This is about Greg again.
If guys don't take no for an answer, we think it's romantic.
We make movies about them.
If it's a woman, they cast Glenn Close.
How many times have you called him? - Who? - Greg.
A few.
Here's the problem, Renee.
And it's every bit as much yours as it is mine.
There are no good men.
I read this article and, on average, there are two per state.
- Good men? - Yes.
And I had one of them.
And I let him get away.
Did Martha talk to you about the face bra? Many times.
In fact, the day before the accident.
Did she mention Elaine when she talked about it? - Yes.
- Do you recall what, specifically? Well, she She was afraid that Elaine would try and steal the idea.
- She said that? - Yes.
Well, did you respond to her concerns? - I think I did.
- What did you say? - I don't remember exactly, but- - But what? Well, Elaine This is hard for me to say with her in the room, because I do love her.
I think we need you to say it.
She was always desperate to be noticed, you know? We never wanted to bring our boyfriends around.
We were afraid she would try to you know, steal them.
- What else? - Well, she- - We didn't really trust her.
- Casey.
Please don't get me wrong.
We love you.
We do.
But this is really wrong, what you're doing to Gladys.
- She said yes? Excellent.
- She wants to leave the building.
- So? - So I'm a little agoraphobic.
Going somewhere new is a big thing.
Maybe she'll take you to Poughkeepsie.
You got a date with a beautiful woman.
Can you drop your weird little eccentricities and go with it? Be thankful.
Look at her, look at you.
Can't you say, " I've set records in overachieving.
" People will see you and assume she's paid for.
She isn't.
You got a beautiful woman to go out with you for free.
Enjoy the milestone.
It's a life moment.
Off you go now.
I was hoping you and Ling could come along, as a double date.
Don't ask me why, you bring me comfort.
- We have to convince her to settle.
- I don't believe she stole it.
If she goes on that show- Elaine may be a lot of things, but not a liar.
She wouldn't steal.
Even if you're right, if the dead cousin is a liar, we have no evidence.
- Elaine, how are you doing? - Fine.
- Your deposition is tomorrow.
- Okay.
Look, our case Obviously, Martha was lying but do you know why she would have done so? She must have been more desperate than even me.
The thing that gets me the most is, I was- Everybody else- Nobody was kind to her.
Now she's dead, they run around like- Three years ago, I threw her a birthday party.
Could I convince her mother or any of them to go? Not even- What? - Excuse me.
- Elaine, what? We think we've made progress where women aren't physically objectified.
Vicky Sharpe thought so.
She got a college degree.
Got a great job at a software company.
Hired for her creativity, recruited for her mind.
Now, throw on a bathing suit, will you? I know, she didn't have to.
But then she's conspicuous for not being a sport.
She's a prude or she's got a lousy body she wants to cover up.
For God's sake.
Why should she have to endure even a second of this? And their argument, that the men did it too.
I suppose they could have a wet T -shirt contest and justify it by having the men compete as well.
This is a male boss.
A guy's guy, who wanted to have a bathing suit day at work to lift a few spirits.
Vicky Sharpe should never be put in the position where she has to say to her employer: " I decline to wear a bathing suit today.
" We've made such wonderful progress, haven't we? This wasn't the equivalent of a wet T-shirt contest.
This wasn't designed to titillate.
Even the plaintiff admitted that.
All he was trying to do was generate a little fun.
Yes, a little office spirit.
Companies used to have happy hours.
That was eliminated by the Dram Shop Acts.
Now, he's being sued for a beach party theme.
Women weren't singled out.
Men wore bathing suits or chose not to.
Just like the women were free to choose.
One Friday a month, he brings in fake palm trees, sun lights, sand serves non-alcoholic piƱa coladas, and he's getting sued for it.
Because Ms.
Sharpe, who wasn't pressured to participate felt objectified.
She says she felt self-conscious about not having a perfect body as if women have a priority on vanity.
As if men can't feel self-conscious about how they look.
They admit the motive wasn't chauvinistic.
It wasn't sexist.
It was to heighten office morale, even they admit that.
But here they are suing, anyway.
Aren't we all just taking things a little too seriously here? I was making a video as part of her Christmas present.
- This is her birthday party? - The one I threw for her.
The one nobody would come to.
The camera is on a tripod.
You did a number.
Never mind.
This is the part.
Make a wish.
Make a wish.
I made a wish too.
- What was it? - That my face bra becomes a hit.
I become rich and famous and men want me.
What is this face bra you keep talking about? My face bra is the best invent- - That was the day I told her.
- Why didn't you show this yesterday? I forgot.
When I talked about her birthday, I remembered.
You still think we should settle? - This can be used as evidence, right? - Oh, yeah.
No, you should not settle.
Hey, I never said you were lying.
But you believed it right down to your brown roots.
You'll love this place.
Do they just pass out microphones? That's the band, John.
If I close my eyes, they sound like a headache.
Hey, man, is that your daughter? She's fly.
- This place troubles me.
- Let's just dance.
- Hold on! - What's up? Excuse me.
Here's a hundred dollars for the glasses.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Off you go.
- Take off your coat and put these on.
- Why? So you don't look like Nelle's father.
Just do it.
Aren't they great? - Are they on parole? - Come on.
- We're out of our element here.
- Just do what I do.
We need to think survival.
What are they doing? We'll be asked to leave! I think they're dancing.
Oh, I may have pulled something.
Well, you were moving in different directions, John.
Seriously, Nelle, why did you bring me there? - I didn't want to go to the bar.
- Why there? It was a test, wasn't it? Maybe it was.
You were trying to see if I could handle it.
Did I pass? Yeah, you did.
And then they kissed.
It was so sweet.
- Were you following them? - No.
I was walking home, again, alone.
Another late night at work, and I saw them.
- So why does it bother you? - It doesn't.
- I'm happy for them.
- Yeah.
I can tell.
It's just Couplehood is good, Renee.
Maybe we should stop waiting for the right guy and date the wrong ones.
- It beats loneliness.
- There's nothing lonelier .
than being with the wrong guy.
Listen, why don't you pretend you're dating Greg.
Because you never see doctors anyway.
So you can just think of yourself- Forget it.
We've got ice cream.
Who needs a guy? You know what? John did it with attitude.
He changed.
You saw it.
I felt it too.
Right behind my knee.
It's all about attitude, Renee.
I am gonna have my change too.
- John, are you in here? - I am.
- When you get a second- - I'm coming out now.
Stand back.
- Wow! That was your best ever! - Thank you.
- Listen, tonight, you have plans? - T onight? No.
I thought maybe I'd cook.
Can I make you dinner? - Sure.
- Great.
8:00? Sounds good.
I made a wish too.
- What was it? - That my face bra becomes a hit.
I become rich and famous and men want me.
What is this face bra you keep talking about? My face bra is the best invention.
It holds up gravity.
That was the fourth time.
Do you want to see it a fifth? I don't know what to say.
She told me it was her idea.
She did.
Well, I guess I should meet privately with my client.
Elaine, I'm sorry.
I am so ashamed now for what I- She told me that- Elaine, I am so sorry.
- We'll talk later.
Come on, Gladys.
- My own daughter.
She lied to me? I guess this is victory, huh? We should all go celebrate.
You were victimized by the lie of one person.
Which the world was willing to believe.
- I didn't.
- I know you didn't.
And thank you.
You learned the first negative thing about success.
People come out of the woodwork.
This was family, Ally.
And people here, Georgia included.
I'm sorry, Elaine.
I didn't conclude you were lying.
But I wondered.
I'm sorry for that.
I've got to go get ready for my cable interview.
- They're coming back? - The bailiff said so.
- That was the indication.
- I can't stand it.
Come on.
Walk with me for coffee.
I could tell from your closing that you really believed what you said.
I'm sure you' re a nice man, but you don't get it.
We shouldn't even be discussing this.
The evidence is in.
It doesn't matter.
Just because men and women wore bathing suits doesn't make his policy neutral.
Men aren't judged by their bodies.
We are.
Whether we're objectified or not, we're still evaluated by our physicality.
- And men aren't? - Not in the same way.
And if you don't know that, then You just don't get it.
Tonight? Just dinner.
When a woman invites you over to cook for you, that's the big meal ticket.
- It doesn't mean that- - Ally.
- This is private.
- This doesn't leave the room.
A woman cooks for a man, what does it mean? - She wants to sleep with him.
- Thanks.
- Why? - Nelle invited me over.
Satisfied? Really? John, how do you feel about this? - It doesn't trouble me.
- Last time there was- It wasn't right last time.
Now, I like this woman.
I really do.
- Why are you looking at me like that? - I was just taking a mental picture of the look men get when they discover they like someone.
It's nice.
- Do you wish you had somebody? - Don't you? I do.
I just get it in such odd ways.
What message do you leave for Greg? Just that it's me calling.
Why don't you just tell him how much you miss him? - What could happen? - You'd be where you are now.
- Thank you, Richard.
- One for all, and all for one here.
- Has the jury reached its verdict? - We have.
What say you? Sharpe vs.
Volpe Packard Enterprises, on the count of sexual harassment - we find in favor of the defendant.
- Wow.
- Wow is right.
I was worried.
- Thank you both.
We never lose.
That's why we charge a lot.
Judging by early sales We 're very excited.
Of course, it's still very early but there's a market.
People want to save their faces.
Now, you 're not an entrepreneur.
I'm a legal assistant.
What are they saying at the office, given your sudden success? They're happy for me, of course.
I have a great core of people cheering for me.
- And family? - Yeah, family too.
- Best of- - It worked out great.
- Well, best of luck to you.
- Thank you.
Sorry I'm late.
I got some wine.
I thought you might not show.
I was nervous you got afraid.
Afraid of what? Men think if a woman invites him for dinner she just wants to sleep with him.
Come on, take your coat off.
John? - So that's not the case here? - Did you want it to be the case? Maybe I did.
Well, at a minimum, you're gonna have to eat first.
- I've been slaving over the damn stove.
- Okay.
You stinker! SDl Media Group
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