Almost Paradise (2020) s01e04 Episode Script

Pistol Whip

Hey, guys! So today on "Jessa's Ocean Diary", we're here at the Olango Channel.
And I'm naming today's vlog "The Green Sea Turtle Adventure" because I just ran into this guy right here.
Only one percent of these guys ever make it to adulthood.
I mean, this guy is fully grown.
Judging by his size, he could be 100 years old.
Turtle, you're welcome to join us on our dive today, but if you prefer to stay here on the beach and hang out in the sun, I'm sure we'd all understand.
Wish me luck.
My name is Alex Walker.
I'm ex-DEA.
I quit the agency because my friend and partner betrayed me.
One of my first assignments took me to an isolated beach right here on this island.
I sold what little I had and bought myself a gift shop.
Just peace.
No stress, no drama.
Boy, was I wrong.
The third number is - Nineteen.
- Nineteen! That's three out of five, man.
That's like hot showers forever.
On a yacht.
For the fourth number, we have Twenty-one.
Fifth and last number is coming up.
All right.
Five, five.
We already got three out of five.
Four out of five, man.
No more ice showers like a frickin' penguin.
- Eleven, eleven, eleven.
- The last number is One-one.
Eleven, eleven.
Eleven, eleven, eleven.
If you've won something, simply sign your ticket, then turn it in.
I swear they do that on purpose.
And from Washington, for the fifth week in a row, Congress has failed to end the government shutdown.
Pension and disability payments continue to be delayed.
Damn it! I'm breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
I'm breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing in.
I am grateful.
Breathing out.
Money isn't everything.
And who says that? Man, have you ever heard of knocking? This is store.
You should put small bell over door.
Actu listen, I know that I'm late on my utilities, okay? If you could just pay for a couple more weeks.
Alex, you have big check from government.
Plus you have this store.
Why you always broke, huh? Where your money? You have gambling problem? - I don't have any.
- Or girls? Or drugs? What happened to your welfare check? First of all, it's not a welfare check.
Well, I'm not welfare officer either.
This is not charity.
You pay your bills or I will tow this building off property, you understand? Tow the listen, the U.
government is shut down, man.
- I just need like a few - You have till Wednesday.
- It's the U.
Congress, Cory! - Aah! It doesn't work like that.
- You're not allowed back here.
- No, listen, listen.
My wife's been missing for three days.
I know something terrible has happened.
Please, sir! Sir, please.
My wife's missing.
She her name's Jessa Torres.
Okay, let's go.
You filed a missing person's report.
Let's go.
Sirs, we need your help, sirs.
She's a great person.
- I said let's go.
- Can't save everyone, Kai.
- Hey! - Kai.
I'll take it from here, officer.
Is that the case jacket? I haven't heard from my wife in three days.
That's never happened in the 10 years that we were together.
I know we're not important people, but if a rich man's wife or tourist's wife disappeared, things would have been different, I'm sure.
No, we care about everyone on this island.
Okay? Everyone.
Let me look into it and get back to you.
Thank you.
God bless you.
Got a minute, sir? Not now, Mendoza.
I have somewhere I need to be.
The man who was shouting in the bullpen? You know how many missing person cases we receive every week? Over 20.
I was just looking at this.
The neighbors said the two were arguing the night before the wife disappeared.
That's not in the jacket.
You don't think we follow up on these things? Well, why is he not a suspect? Because they also saw her leave the next morning.
She's not missing.
She's just mad.
Mendoza, don't make something out of nothing.
Hi! Hey! Okay.
Here you go.
For you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thank you! - Yes! Thank you! - Thank you.
Bye! - Thank you for coming! Nikolai, you tell them to be careful with the lights.
Aah! Jerry's here! Ike Ocampo, Mactan Chief of Police.
Well, always grateful to meet the men on the front line of safety and security.
It's an honor, sir.
Jerry Westwood at your service.
Oh, please, Mr.
No need to introduce yourself.
We're big fans on this island.
Your show's been airing since I was in college.
Well, that's who I do it for.
For the fans.
Have you met our director Andre Adam? - Andre Adam.
- Ike Ocampo.
We appreciate the help your office has given us.
Always a challenge shooting in a new country.
I wanted to personally bring you this filming permit.
- Ah.
- We wanted to help make your shoot here as pleasant as possible.
Oh, thank you.
That's very thoughtful.
We're going to do great things here.
Great things.
So, when I heard that you were doing this documentary TV series "Wreckage Of War".
It will be fantastic.
When we're done, no one will forget the name of Andre Adam.
"Wreckage Of War", huh? Well, that's a very brilliant idea.
You know, there are more World War II shipwrecks in this area than anywhere in the world.
You may not know that my grandfather was in the Cebu resistance during the Japanese occupation.
- Oh.
- Incredible.
And I'd be glad to talk and recount his stories on camera.
Do you hear that, Jerry? What luck.
Man, that's great.
Maybe we could sit down.
I could pick your brain for a bit.
Now, my career has always been about detailed preparation.
Truly knowing every aspect is what has defined my career.
You know, actors these days, they just care about Twitter followers, I'm afraid.
The craft? It's a dying art.
I would love to do that anytime.
So, who should I speak to? Nikolai is our producer.
He can take your information.
Nikolai, please.
- Oh, okay.
- Come.
Uh, okay.
Ike Ocampo.
You know, my grandfather was part of the Cebu resistance Hey.
You know anybody who wants to buy a very nice watch? No? Hey.
Double whiskey, neat, and make it stiff.
Hey, man.
You're that you're that guy.
The guy from the show! Uh, well, I've been in lots of shows, but I wager you're referring to my 1990s hit "Pistol Whip"? "Pistol Whip"! That's the one, man.
I got we used to watch that show all the time.
I loved that show.
Yeah, it's a classic.
Oh, seriously, man.
It was great.
You you had that that beautiful pistol with the pearl handle.
The snub nose revolver, man.
And I always wanted one of those.
And you had the move, your signature move, where you used to Well, thanks, compadre.
Call me Jerry.
Alex Walker.
If you want to do it right, the trick is you pick a spot two feet behind your actual target and you follow through like you're holding a tennis racket backhanded.
You know.
- Hey, why shoot a pistol - When you can whip it? - Come on, man.
- Chuck Norris taught me that.
- Shut up.
- Spent the summer going from dojo to dojo picking up the best moves I could find.
The producers wanted to call the show "Pistol Cop".
Can you believe that? - I set 'em straight.
- Man.
What are you doing on the island? Making a documentary show about World War II naval battles.
We're shooting the undersea wrecks.
- How's that going? - Just got into town.
You're that guy.
You're that actor, right? I am an actor.
You're supposed to be a tough guy.
From that show in the '90s, right? He's not so tough in real life, is he? Listen, guys, we're just trying to have a quiet drink.
We're not talking to you.
We're talking to the tough guy.
Boys, how can I help you? Do you want a picture? Autograph? Ah, no one wants your damn autograph.
Okay, then, well, you boys have a good night.
He's he's dismissing us.
Hey, you think you're better than us.
No, no, that's not what I mean at all.
Why don't we find out how tough you really are? Listen, guys.
I'm gonna give you and your big drunk ugly friend here one chance just to walk away.
- Oh, you are, are you? - Yes, that's right.
But first, you gotta pick which hand the walnut is in.
- Yeah, right.
- No, wrong.
Sorry about that.
That was fantastic.
You can really handle yourself.
Well Hey, you ever do any stunt work? No, no.
Um, you have job for stunt man? - Cory.
- Well, they arrived here with this barebones crew.
No stand-in.
No stunt double.
Oh! This man, huh? Good stunt double.
Stunt double? I don't even No, no.
He like the job.
How much you pay? Well, I should be able to scramble together, I don't know, like, $500 a day? I don't even look like you know? He's taller than me.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's all underwater.
Masks, wet suits no one will know.
We have a deal.
My producer Nikolai, he's a tightwad, but I like the cut of your jib, Alex.
I'll just insist.
- You make good businessman.
- Well, thank you, ma'am.
- Welcome aboard, compadre.
- Yeah! Yeah.
I didn't think you'd come.
Do all detectives start the day this early? - I'm here on my own time.
- Thanks.
Before we go any further, I wanted to ask you about this fight.
I already told them, it was an argument, not a fight.
What about? Well, I don't want her to keep scuba diving alone.
That's dangerous.
- So she dives.
- All the time.
She does this vlog on social media.
She loves doing it, but I always worry.
- You ever dive with her? - Nah.
I don't even swim.
She was taught young, though.
Yeah? So was I.
This is her channel.
You'd be amazed how many people follow it.
She was studying to be a marine biologist.
Yeah, the ocean's her passion, and this is her way of sharing that with people.
She's just this kind of person that draws in the world and everyone around her.
Guys, I found this huge piece of metal while diving in the Olango Channel.
What is this thing? Oh, man, this is crazy.
Hey, everybody! Here we are.
Yeah, I love you! Here we are.
Just want to give a shout-out to Deep Blue Dive Shop for always hooking up the equipment.
Thank you, Linda! Best dive shop in Cebu.
I'll keep in touch.
Please find her.
She's my world.
Ah, yeah.
- Hey, guys.
How are you? - Feeling relaxed? Hey, man, well, that's actually not my specialty.
Ah, this'll be fun! Come on, we'll introduce you, and then the two of us can get to work.
All right.
Nikolai, this is Alex, the man I told you about.
How you doing, man? Good to see you.
Listen, are you guys a film crew or basketball team? The underwater stand-in stunt double.
Yeah, well, listen, for $600 a day, I'll press this man's pants for him.
Nikolai's got an iron boot, but all good producers do.
Just don't get on his bad side.
- All right.
- It's gonna be amazing.
- And how is my star feeling today? - Like a bull stud.
I need to talk to you about your, uh, makeup test.
Well, I usually use a Comanche Sunset No.
Yes, that's good.
Thank you.
Listen, uh, Jerry is driving us all nuts.
So many stories, so much talking.
It's getting in the way.
So how about you, uh, take him out to the resort, take some of the equipment, go scuba, have mai tais, whatever.
Just stay out of our hair till tomorrow, okay? Your show.
Let's go.
How'd you get this job, anyway? Through your agent? My agent? Ha-ha.
That's a good one.
No, after I lost the first round of "Dancing With The Stars", he dropped me.
No, Nikolai contacted me directly.
Crap money, but I could use the exposure.
Out of sight, out of mind, you know? It's easy to forget an old ham like me.
Don't say that, man.
You're a TV legend.
Yeah, you're too kind.
I don't know, I usually have more time to prepare, you know? This all just feels so rushed.
What do you mean rushed? It came together a week ago.
Andre said he was only hired three days ago.
Can you believe that? These eastern Europeans, they're something different.
These are new models.
It's all digital gear.
When'd this come out? Two, three years ago? Fancy new regulators? I don't know.
Ten, I think.
Why, you still running the old tanks for the hotel guests? No, I'm just saying, it's brand-new equipment.
These Romanians, they may not know how to treat an actor, but they sure have some nice equipment.
You know, I've never seen camera rigs like that before.
Warning, warning.
Input error, input error.
Error, error, error.
So, Jessa uses your equipment for her own dives? Yeah, for free.
I told her it's because she plugs me on her Pacific Vlogger channel, but really it's because I like her.
- And, Sam? He loves her.
- Sam? I see.
So do you know how many tanks you have? Okay, because I only count 44.
My gosh, you're right.
We're short one.
- And you took inventory? - Only last week.
So, from then to now, could someone have taken it at night or borrowed it without you knowing? The only other person who has a key is Jessa.
Well, thank you so much for your time.
Is she okay? Should I be worried about her? Just call me if you hear from her.
- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? I got a job.
I'm not up to speed on all this equipment, so I figured somebody here could help me out.
I could show you how to use it.
- Really? - Yeah.
Just like that? I don't have to talk you into it? You're just gonna do it? Why? Because I'm a really nice person.
Seriously, why? And this is a regulator.
You breathe in oxygen, exhale carbon dioxide.
- Really, Kai? - Sorry.
That thing on your wrist is a console computer.
It'll keep all your systems in sync and will tell us when it's time to turn back.
Turn back from where? Well, we can either mess around here in the bay or we can take a five-mile drift dive out into the Olango Channel.
All right.
Now I know why you're helping me.
What? What are you looking for out there, huh? Contraband? Missing persons case? A diver, probably? Let me guess.
She's a woman? Young? Not too young? - Somebody you see yourself in? - I hate when you do that.
Ocampo probably thinks it's a waste of time, doesn't he? And I guess you need me because you need a buddy.
I don't need a buddy.
I needed the equipment.
What the hell was that? I don't know.
You're the one with the info.
I have no idea who those guys were.
Did you get a good look at 'em? Not really.
Only thing I saw were - White wet suits? Yeah.
- White wet suits.
My missing person was an underwater videographer with a camera just like that.
This battery's dead.
This thing could be fried.
Would this work? Why are you here so late? And why are you here at all? Somebody tried to kill us tonight.
With a spear gun.
- Where? - The Olango Channel.
Yep, that makes sense.
How does trying to kill us make sense? The abalone hunters in the Olango are notoriously territorial.
These guys weren't fishermen.
Then they were probably treasure hunters.
Treasure hunters? The Olango's cursed.
No two nights are the same.
The tides shift.
New batches of coral pop up out of nowhere.
Ships get beached and wrecked all the time.
People say more gold's gone down on the Olango - than any place on Earth.
- Gold, huh? Olango was on the galleon trade route between Acapulco and Manila.
The riches of the East traded for the gold of the West.
I don't think Jessa Torres was a treasure hunter.
Well, wherever there's gold, there are people looking for it.
Treasure hunters, criminals, and wherever a person dies in agony, like on a shipwreck, their soul lives on as an evil spirit.
I didn't take you for the superstitious type.
I'm not.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
Got it.
You realize Ocampo would have you ticketing parked cars for the next year for violating one of his direct orders.
He said not to make something out of nothing.
This this is not nothing.
Hey, guys! Okay, so today on "Jessa's Ocean Diary", we're here at the Olango Channel.
- Son of a gun.
- And I'm naming today's vlog "The Green Sea Turtle" You're asking me to close off the entire five-mile Olango Channel? What do you propose I do? Dredge it? No, sir, but it's a crime scene.
We were shot at.
It's the last known location of Jessa Torres.
- We need to investigate.
- You were foolishly diving at night, investigating a case you weren't even assigned to.
And it sounds like you stumbled on abalone poachers.
As far as Jessa Torres is concerned, it's not a crime scene.
You know the meaning of habeas corpus? - Yes, sir.
- Habeas to have, corpus the body.
If you find the body, then you have the crime.
No, we're not closing down that channel.
We have fishermen there, we have tourism, we have a film crew shooting a very important documentary.
Is that why you Why what? Why what? Oh, man! About time.
What do you mean it's about time? I thought you said it was a 7:00 call time.
Exactly, we're supposed to be on set by 7:00.
Didn't you read your call sheet? What is I don't even know what that is.
It's essential to every shoot.
Tells you what you're filming, when, and where.
And where exactly are we shooting? The Olango Channel.
Nothing like working on the water! Or in this case, underwater.
I did eight weeks on "The Perfect Storm" back in '99.
The part got cut, but I learned a lot about sailoring.
Of course, that was in a tank Studio 16, Warner Brothers.
Hail, maestros! - We're here to make magic.
- You're late.
Yeah, that's actually my fault and I apologize.
I'm sorry.
We've got a full day today.
Let's go.
Don't worry about Nikolai.
He's a hard man doing a hard job.
He's right, though.
Won't happen again.
Come, my boy.
Today, we make magic.
We make history.
You need something? Nope, just doing an equipment check, boss.
- It's been done.
- Yes.
Imagine being here in this very spot on that Sunday morning in 1941.
Japanese Zeroes came over the horizon with the sun.
Why aren't we shooting anything? Welcome to showbiz.
It's hurry up and wait forever.
Come on, you want to run some more lines? We're not really running lines.
It's narration.
Well, you wanna hear it again? You bet, man.
Knock yourself out.
Let me ask you, though, what what are they doing? Uh, Nikolai said they're preparing the underwater set.
Who is? Everybody's on deck.
Oh, they hired some local divers to help out, you know? Do the dirty work.
Okay, scene 101.
Right away, please, gentlemen.
The Japanese fighters were the first airplanes ever designed to carry a jettisonable external fuel tank.
They were fast, maneuverable, and powerful.
And cut.
Fantastic, Jerry.
Any notes? I can do it again.
No notes.
We do the close-up.
Take your time.
Savor the moment.
Keep some of the fins down there? Aw, look at this.
That's sturdy construction right there.
Australian, huh? Non-ferrous metal.
I like it.
We have all our permits, officer.
Right here.
Actually, sir, the captain was wondering if he could get a photo with Mr.
- He's a big fan.
- Yes.
Yes, of course.
Guys, I found this huge piece of metal while diving in the Olango Channel.
What is this thing? Oh, man, this is crazy.
Hey, everybody.
Here we are! You see that? Hey, Ernesto, can you take a look at this? Cyrillic.
What's a Soviet submarine propeller doing in the Philippines? And that's a wrap for Jerry up top.
But I've still got a page and a half of dialogue.
We are switching to underwater shooting now.
Ion, take them down and help them get into their scuba gear.
What the hell is going on here? Andre, you're the director.
This is your set.
Take over.
I hate to break this to you, Jerry, - but there is no TV show.
- Pardon? These guys are treasure hunters.
They're using this TV show as a cover - to bring up the loot.
- Loot? Yeah, what is it? Historical relics? Gold? The point is, they need the cover because they know it's illegal.
This was all a show for the Coast Guard, but now that they're gone, they don't need us anymore.
Whatever gold is down there is patrimony of the Philippines.
And whatever they were looking for, they just found it, my man, and they are bringing it up right here, right now on that deck.
Hey, you listen to me, compadre.
You're wrong.
You have to be wrong.
I need this show.
- Jerry.
- Tell him, Andre.
Tell him we're doing a damn show about World War II.
- There's no TV show? - Jerry.
Jerry, don't.
No, don't, Jerry! Move and you're dead.
Take them below deck now before we get any more visitors.
Yes, Captain.
Onward, comrades, to fame, fortune, and history.
Say a word and I put a bullet in the head.
Let's go.
Jerry, look.
You see that blue tape? - Well, I guess this is it.
- Jerry.
I dedicated my life to acting, to craft, to characters, and what do I have to show for it? No, no, the blue tape.
The blue tape! Four failed marriages, three estranged kids, and a TV show no one remembers.
Do you know what it was like to be admired? People looked at me like I was a real hero.
Now I'm the guy selling adult diapers on late night TV.
Do you have any idea who I used to think I was? How did you come up with that? - I put it in there.
- You did? When? When? Earlier.
I knew that we might be in trouble, and so I thought if they were gonna tie us up, this is where they'd bring us.
Come on.
There is more to you than meets the eye, Mr.
Well, Jerry, I've seen this movie before.
All right, shake it off.
Shake your hands out, get your circulation back.
All right, I'm gonna have to tie 'em back up.
- What? - Because we are outgunned, okay? And we have to wait until the time is right.
And you have to wait on my signal.
Okay? Now, feel that.
See that right there? - Yeah.
- I want you to pull that on my signal.
On my signal.
I've got my motivation, I just need more specifics on the blocking.
- Just be ready.
- For what? We're gonna have to fight our way out of this one.
All right? No stunt doubles.
This is for real.
Apparently, one of the subs went missing in December of 1989 somewhere in the Philippine Sea.
One month after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
And the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Rumor was that the captain of the sub was escaping with millions in gold bullion looted from the Soviet treasury.
- And? - Here he is.
Look familiar? Good to see you, old friend.
I suppose that now you expect me to explain all of this to you, hmm? Actually, no explanation needed.
- Seems pretty simple.
- Simple? - Is it? - Yeah.
You're searching for gold.
Sunken treasure.
Damn the costs.
I mean, that's the oldest story in the world.
Gold? Gold? You think there is gold in here? I think he's about to explain it.
Do you think I would go to all of this trouble for a case of gold? I was the youngest officer in the Soviet submarine corps - ever to earn the captain's rank.
- Soviet submarine? What it in that case is worth 100 times its weight in gold to the right people.
Enough to make me as rich as those traitorous oligarchs who looted my country.
What do you plan to do with us? I plan to shoot you.
Well, the only thing I have to say to that, Andre, is why shoot a pistol When you can whip it? Jerry.
Whoo! Always wondered if that would work in real life.
What? Thirty years.
Thirty years I have waited for this - Put it down now.
- Putting the gun down.
- He's with me.
- and I will not be denied it now.
It still works.
- My design was flawless.
- You fool.
- What is that? - Just a nuclear device.
- Oh, my God.
- You had to ask, didn't you? I have activated it.
My plan was to sell it to a certain regional dictator for one billion dollars.
But I will now settle for two hundred million in untraceable bearer bonds and a private jet with a full tank of fuel.
- You're insane.
- I have set the timer for six hours.
It is irreversible and only I know the cancel code.
That should give you enough time to meet my demands.
And when I am safely away, I will communicate the code to you.
There won't be enough time to evacuate.
Well, you'd better get moving.
You didn't set it for six hours.
You set it for six minutes! - It's not working.
- Well, try it again.
The Russian embassy's calling to Moscow now.
- You! What do you know about this? - Nothing.
The consulate's trying to find an expert.
We don't have time for that.
We gotta Apollo 13 this thing.
Does anyone have bomb squad training? - Do you? - Not like this.
I trained with the Navy's EOD squad back in '94 for "Pistol Whip".
We had a Russian ex-pat nuke handler as our weaponry consultant, and in the show the device they had to disarm looked a lot like this one.
Listen, how confident are you? I'm an actor, not a bomb expert! What do you remember about preparing for the episode? I'm trying to remember the script.
There's there's a panel with four wires behind it.
In the show, if you cut the right wire, - the the timer disarms.
- Then cut all the wires.
No, no, no, no! You do that and the bomb detonates no timer.
All right, which one is it, Jerry? Which one is it? - Red? Blue? White? Yellow? - Oh, I can't remember! You need to remember what you did on the show.
- Which wire? - It's just a TV show.
It's not reality.
I don't know how to do anything real! Listen to me, okay? Close your eyes.
Close your eyes and repeat after me, okay? Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
- What? - Forty seconds.
- Just say it.
- Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
- Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
- Forget the script, okay? What did that Russian nuke handler tell you? - If I could suggest - I'll break your jaw, man.
- Listen, Jerry, what'd he say? - Uh, he said cutting the wires was a last resort.
Shooting it with a shotgun was the first resort.
Well, we can't hide behind a rock and shoot at the damn thing.
- Just take your best guess.
- Okay, I'm trying.
I remember this.
It's coming back to me.
It was red.
The red is the one you don't cut.
Then you lead with "don't cut"! Cut all the other wires except red! We did it.
We did it! It was due to his bravery and the excellence of this police precinct working on my orders that the perpetrators were tracked down the moment they arrived on our island.
Consequently, all of us are here today unharmed.
To say Jerry Westwood is a superstar is a true understatement.
- Aww.
- Thus, I reward you, Mr.
Westwood, with this key to Mactan.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! We have to keep the camera for evidence, but I thought there's a video of Jessa's on there that you should have.
Thank you.
So, I got into an argument with my husband this morning.
You know, since he has to go to work early, we didn't resolve it.
So I went for a walk on the beach, and within 10 steps, I'm not even kidding, I stub my toe.
I stub it hard.
And I I'm cussing and I'm grabbing my foot and all that, and I look down and I see the shape of the rock which is gonna look great on my nightstand by the way.
And it was like it was like a sign from God, you know? I felt so relieved to have so much love in my life.
At this point, I don't even know why I'm filming this anymore.
It's way too personal.
Maybe this is for you, babe.
This is for us to look back on years from now, to remember that the bad is always followed by the good.
I love you, babe.
"Thanks for everything, compadre.
Take good care of her.
Your pal, Jerry".

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