American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s01e17 Episode Script

And so we've nearly completed
our surprise student inspections.
There is but one more
dragon-in-training left to evaluate.
Jake Long, the American Dragon.
Why that boy is still a member
of the Order is a mystery to me.
He's nothing but trouble.
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'm confident the boy will pass
his inspections with flying colors.
No doubt he's
in serious training as we speak.
Ha! You all ready for this?
'Cause I'm the what?
Dragon. That's right.
(RAPPING)
I'm Jake, it ain't fake ♪
Y'all better recognize it,
for goodness sake ♪
Just blow already, will ya?
Ahhh!
-Ahhh!
-Oh, yeah!
Ring of fire, baby.
Pay up.
Ah, he never gets that one.
Two dozen chocolate chip.
What is going on in here?
Ring of fire, Gramps.
I wasn't scared at all.
Whoa!
Jake, you have to take
your dragon training more seriously.
Come on, Gramps.
What's wrong with having a little fun?
Nothing, but only
at the proper place and time.
You must find balance.
How's this for balance?
NYC. What?
Ready, Grandpa?
Whoa!
Jake, please lock up the shop.
Haley and I are going treat-and-tricking.
That's trick-or-treating, Grandpa.
Now, let's move. I'll explain on the way.
(IMITATES GRANDPA)
"You must find balance."
(CHUCKLES, IN NORMAL VOICE)
Gramps is whack.
I got mad balance. I got Oh!
Whoa!
A dragon!
-Ahhh!
-Huh?
(SIREN BLARES, TIRES SCREECH)
Aw, man!
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪
People, we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American Dragon ♪
He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American Dragon ♪
JAKE: Dragon up!
American Dragon ♪
Oh, oh, oh, whoa!
He's the American Dragon ♪
Break down with the dragon ♪
His skills are gettin' faster ♪
With Grandpa, the master ♪
His destiny, what's up, G? ♪
It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪
American Dragon ♪
From the J to the A ♪
To the K to the E ♪
I'm the mackdaddy dragon of the NYC ♪
Ya heard!
GRANDPA: Jake! Get back to work!
Aw, man.
(GONG SOUNDS)
Ahhh!
Where did you get that
amazing Halloween costume?
You're the best-looking
dragon in New York.
Hey, if I could arrest someone
for having an amazing costume,
you'd be in for life.
Happy Halloween. (CHUCKLES)
Yo! That's right. It's Halloween.
Heh! You'd hardly know it,
to look at your costume.
Those scales look like
oversized tiddlywinks.
And are we to actually believe
that dragons use words like "yo"?
Yo, believe this.
(CROWD GASPS)
-Cool!
-It's incredible.
This holiday just got a lot more fun.
A party? No way, kid.
Are you listenin' to me?
You'll regret this.
The old man never forgave me
after the last party I had.
(CHUCKLES)
(TOOTS)
(SQUEAKS)
So, how was your trip?
Brr.
I did hard time in
obedience school for that one.
I may never heel.
Get it? "Heel"?
Ah, ya heel and ya
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
But, seriously, no party.
Yo, Fu, I was a full dragon on the street,
and everyone thought I was in costume.
We have the chance
to rock the greatest Halloween party ever!
Gramps will never know
Unless he hears this rockin' sound system
Trix and I are hookin' up.
Oh, yeah,
we gonna shake this joint off the hinges.
Check it out, Fu. We'll invite everyone,
not just kids from school,
but trolls, pixies, brownies.
You're talkin' poodles!
Spud, you draw up the flyers.
Trixie, finish rigging the sound system.
-I'll order up the dessert.
-(DIALING)
Anybody allergic to butterscotch?
Good. And one more thing,
the plural of "poodle"
is actually "poodi."
Huh? What? It is!
Who's ready to party!
-Begin!
-(ALL CHEER)
I believe that the young one
showed great potential
in his tests on Draco Island.
He demonstrated skill,
bravery, selflessness
And rebelliousness unparalleled.
I, for one, will be shocked
If we find anything different tonight.
HUNTSGIRL: Is it time, Master?
Not yet, Huntsgirl.
Patience.
Soon your destiny will be fulfilled.
People say Halloween
is about a lot of things,
decorations, haunted houses, costumes.
Truth is, Halloween is about the kid,
not pennies for charity, not glow sticks,
and for the love of all that is good,
not apples.
-But an apple a day
-Apples are for losers, Grandpa.
Bottom line,
the person with the most candy wins.
You've put a lot of thought into this.
Oh, I've been burned before.
Now, good costumes reap the best candy
and everybody loves a princess.
I even made up some special 8x10 glossies
to sign for all the fans
I'm going to have.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Trick or treat.
Holy candy corn!
That costume is absolutely precious.
Oh, this ol' thing?
It's just
a little something I threw together.
Would you care for a glossy?
Would I?
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
Little boy,
you have the best costume of the night.
Why (LAUGHS) You look like
a wise old Chinese man.
Well, actually
(TECHNO-POP PLAYING)
Hey, sweeties, nice costume. Ow!
Too bad one of you
had to be the back half of the suit.
Guess you lost the coin toss, huh?
-(CHOMPS)
-(CHOMPS)
"We'll just go as ghosts," you said.
"Nobody will wear
a good costume," you said.
Are you, like, animatronic?
I'm whatever you want me to be, doll face.
Oy!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Yo, kid!
That troll just whacked an LCD,
a tube, and a plasma in three fell swoops.
Relax, Fu.
You can't make an omelet
without breakin' a few TVs.
At least, not a TV omelet.
Yo, Trix, I thought you
were working on tunes.
Check it. I set the speakers
up on maximum boppage, yo.
Care to do the honors?
Uh, kid, this thing's gettin'
kinda out of hand, don't you think?
What's really breaking you, Fu Dog,
a couple of TVs
or barriers between
magical creatures and humans?
Ah, please!
You just want to strut
your dragon six-pack in front of girls.
Fu, heh!
This is so not about showing off.
Here. Let me get that for ya.
Don't sweat it, Fu.
(HEAVY METAL PLAYING ON STEREO)
-(GASPS) Oh!
-Ah!
-Whee!
-(GASPING)
Ah! Ah! Ah!
(BLEEPS)
Okay, nothing else is gonna get broken.
-Dragon's honor.
-(CRASHES)
BOY 1: I've never seen so many Benjamins!
BOY 2: All right!
Let me Ow! Check it out!
Okay, maybe people
aren't impressed with princesses anymore,
but who wouldn't be amazed
by a princess dragon?
(DOORBELL RINGS)
(GASPS)
You are magnificent!
Thank you.
Um, I was talking to this
wise old Chinese man here, scaly face.
Haiyaa, you are right, Haley.
The best costumes do reap the best candy.
I'm sure Master Long
is keeping his student
under perfect discipline and control.
Ah! Here we are.
I always find it calming
to visit a sacred dragon training space.
-(DOOR OPENS)
-(PARTYGOERS CHATTERING)
I've never had so much
sugar and hoagies in my life.
Straw hat for dessert,
and stick a fork in me.
(BURPS) Too bad the topping truck
never showed.
You guys order the butterscotch?
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
I'm flyin'!
Oy! Oy!
Perhaps this isn't the place.
No. I am certain the American Dragon
is behind this mess.
Huh? Hey!
I'm, like, this party is so lame.
Uh, please tell me that doofus ogre
has stopped looking at me.
I mean, (SCOFFS) he's an ogre.
Those flying babes are hot. Ow!
You can't
even see the wires in their costumes!
Up high, homies!
-(WHACKS)
-Ow!
That's my throwing arm, dude.
Eh, I'm startin' to rethink
this whole party thing, kid.
You bring magical creatures and
non-mysticals together
(TEETH CHATTERING)
And all you get
is massive property damage.
(FU STAMMERING)
Well, it isn't a party
until something gets damaged!
Yo, holler back.
I think we need to pump some more bass.
SPUD: Yo, kick it!
(SCREAMS)
Whoa! (SCREAMING)
-Ahhh!
-(CRASHES)
Okay, so things
are a little out of control,
but check it,
mermaids are mixing with the math nerds,
ogres are ogling cheerleaders
Whee! (GIGGLES)
And the goths are groovin'
with the goblins.
Don't you see?
Magical creatures
have to stay in hiding all year.
I just want us to have this one night
to really get down.
Trick or treat.
(GASPS) Brilliant!
Little boy,
that old-bald-man-with-beard costume
is just brilliant. Bravo!
Winning isn't everything, Granddaughter.
But it sure beats a sackful of apples.
(HEAVY METAL PLAYING ON STEREO)
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
I don't think the boy is here.
Perhaps we have
the wrong address after all.
SPUD: (ON SPEAKER) Give it up
for the stylings of Draggy-J!
Hey, yo, DJ, you ready?
Thirty clicks on the clock.
Thirty ticks on the tock!
Oy! Oy!
Staple it shut, potato face.
We want to hear some beats!
Don't be a tater hater, man.
Gents, ladies, griffins, and pixies,
Let me introduce Draggy-J!
Halla
Halloween ♪
Halloween
Halloween ♪
Halla-halloween,
Halloween, Halloween ♪
Halloween hams
And hip-hop scams ♪
Really quaint jams
And trip pop slams ♪
This Halloween,
We kick out the jams ♪
Kick out the what? ♪
The jam-jo, jam ♪
Holler back now ♪
Holler, holler,
Holler back ♪
Kick out the what? ♪
The jam-jo jam ♪
Kick out the what? ♪
The jam-jo jam ♪
Oh, yeah, that's right
That's ♪
Hey!
Kickin' costumes.
You look just like the
Eh Dragon Council?
We are here for a surprise inspection,
and we are indeed surprised.
Look, (STAMMERS) I can explain.
Butterscotch in the hizzy!
Wait! No (GROANS)
Never in all my years
have is seen such a reckless display
of undisciplined behavior.
I had such hope for you, American Dragon.
It's just a party, yo.
I've been training my tail off.
Sometimes you gotta cut loose.
As a dragon, it is your destiny
to act as guardian, protector,
and champion.
There is no room for cutting loose.
No, listen, please!
I'm sorry. I was just
I am the one who's sorry, Dragon Long.
Dude, they made his costume disappear.
We're not
the lamest ones at the party anymore!
Uh, yeah, you still are.
Hey, yo, that trick was off-the-hook.
That trick was young
Mr. Long's dragon powers
being sucked from his soul.
Talk about killing the party vibe.
What?
You can't!
I'm sorry, Mr. Long.
You leave us with no choice.
Your dragon powers have been deactivated
until further notice.
Jake Long, you and Master
-Gramps?
-The old man?
Are hereby suspended
from the Dragon Order.
Again, I am sorry.
Well, I, for one, am not
I'm feeling that
we're losing some momentum here.
Uh Punch-diving!
I never should have thrown this party.
Yeah. I should have stopped you, kid.
I was blinded by dreams of poodi.
Oh, poodi.
It's not your fault, Fu.
I'm the one who messed up.
I gotta get outta here.
He was never one of us.
You shouldn't be sorry.
He had great potential, Chang,
and, frankly, I'm a little concerned
that you didn't see anything good in
(CAT YOWLS)
Shh! Listen.
(ALL GASPING)
-What?
-Argh!
(DRAGON COUNCIL GROANING)
Release us at once, Huntsclan.
Release you?
But I worked so hard
procuring that thing there.
Besides,
you're the guests of honor tonight.
Guests? For what?
Tonight, Huntsgirl
shall finally pass from apprentice
to a full member of the Hunt's Clan
By slaying my first dragon.
The Huntsclan.
Dragon-up
(GROANS)
No! Wait!
Oh, man!
(PANTING)
FLYING GIRL 1: That Debi girl was a troll.
FLYING GIRL 2: Really?
She just had surgery to make it
look like she's a goblin.
Did I buy it?
N-O! Spells "I don't think so."
Hey!
Oh, look!
It's the rapper dragon.
Draggy-J
Without the dragginess. What a drag.
Guys?
I need a lift, yo?
Boring.
Who cares? He's cute.
Thanks. Now follow that, uh, um
The Huntsvehicle.
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-HALEY: Trick or treat.
Wow. Wow! You two look amazing!
And, you, that old man head is perfect!
Apples be darned. Candy all around.
Who knew all I needed for a great costume
was some cotton balls, a couple marbles,
and a hollowed-out cantaloupe?
Yes. I'm glad
you are finally getting all my
Uh, I mean, so much candy.
Wow! Look how much candy they have!
It's a Halloween miracle.
We got problems here, dog man.
The Council yanked Jake's dragonosity,
there's topping in the TVs,
and Trixie's costume's
gone from all that to all flat.
Yo, what are we gonna do?
Well, we gotta fix this thing.
I'm trying!
This patch isn't working, man.
I ain't talking about that. That.
(EXCLAIMING)
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
Listen up, people! If it weren't for Jake,
you wouldn't have had
this rockin' party to go to tonight.
And now he needs our help!
Helpin' people? Lame!
The Bradster is out.
Ungracious guests make me angry.
(YELPS)
Hey, baby
Nice tail.
I definitely need some air soon.
Now, what do you say
we get to cleanin' this place up
before the old man gets back?
And if you won't do it for me,
do it for Jake, huh?
PARTYGOERS: Yeah!
Trixie, Spudsy, time to get sudsy.
Why are you stoppin'?
FLYING GIRL 1: They're going
into a graveyard on Halloween.
That is so five-minutes-ago.
That saying is so five-years-ago.
-You are.
-No. You are.
Uh, guys?
Are you still here?
Whoa!
Huh? Ooh!
(GRUNTS) Ha!
That's what I'm talkin' about.
Just 'cause I don't have powers
doesn't mean I don't got mad skills
(GROANS)
Never mind.
Congratulations, Council Members.
Two of you will be the first
to see the ancient Huntsclan slaying rite,
in which Huntsgirl
shall ascend from squire to full Hunstman.
Sadly, one of you
will not be able to witness the rite,
but you will
get the privilege of participating in it.
You won't get away with this, Huntsman!
The whole of the Order
will come after you.
I certainly hope so.
It's so difficult
to flush dragons out of hiding as it is.
Huntsclan, gag our guests.
I'm finding their prattle distracting.
(DRAGONS STRUGGLING)
Those dragons need a dragon.
Yo, G!
Well, we gotta The Huntsclan!
Listen, we had this party, and there's
butterscotch in the cash register,
and the Dragon Council showed up,
and the Huntsmen grabbed them,
and they're gonna slay them all, and
Grandpa, come on! This is serious!
Serious? Lighten up, doodley.
It's Halloween.
Ahhh! What the
Why are you dressed like my grandfather?
Everyone's doing it.
It's the hottest costume going.
Eh, but But I
I gotta find Gramps! (SIGHS)
What you gotta do is relax.
Halloween is a time to party!
Whoop de-doo.
That's it.
Time to party.
(IMITATES GRANDPA)
Wisdom at last comes to the young one.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Wow. Hoo
Where'd that come from? Ooh! How weird!
FU: Come on, people.
I wanna see my reflection in those floors.
Actually
Ooh, I don't look so good from that angle.
What is that thing?
JAKE: Yo, Fu, my mans.
What's goin' on here?
I thought we were havin' some fun.
Did you, uh,
get ahold of some bad candy corn, kid?
Hey, I may be out of powers,
but this party is one thing
we got plenty of.
HUNTSMASTER: So begins
our ancient rite of passage.
Huntsgirl, have you selected your prey?
Yes.
This one.
An excellent choice.
Do you, Huntsgirl,
pledge fealty and allegiance
to the Huntsclan?
I do, Master.
Huntsgirl, begin your days
as a true Huntsman, and
JAKE: Here comes the jams!
Oh
Who dares?
(LIVELY TUNE PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
Our sound system rocks!
-Yeah, it rocks!
-Oy! Oy!
What the
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
All Hallow's Eve
is what we need ♪
It's the ace up the sleeve,
and it's agreed ♪
To save the holiday,
I do believe ♪
We gotta chill on the stress ♪
And the final exam ♪
We gotta, get loose ♪
And kick out the jams ♪
Kick out the what? ♪
The jam-jo jams ♪
Kick out the what? ♪
ALL:
The jam-jo jams ♪
(PARTYGOERS CHEER)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(BOTH GROAN)
Butterscotch in the hizzy!
(ALL GROAN)
Enough!
(MUSIC WINDS DOWN)
Huntsclan, take them!
The only thing your Huntsclan will take
is a beating.
(GASPS)
Retreat!
Ah!
GHOST: Dude, I don't know how
Jake did the special-effects,
but this haunted house dealie
is off the hook!
(BOTH GRUNT)
Watch it!
GHOST: Oh, sorry, dude.
(GRUNTING)
-(ALL CHEERING)
-Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Right! You better run. Hey!
Wow
Eh, this thing is pointy.
COUNCIL MEMBER: Thank you, Jake.
However unconventionally you did it,
you saved us.
It's wild, huh?
I mean, I got kicked out
of the Order for partying,
but this partying is what saved all y'all.
There's a whole lot of parts to this kid,
human and dragon,
partier and protector.
It's the whole package
that came to the rescue.
Counselors, surely you're not considering
reinstating the boy?
We aren't considering it.
We're doing it.
But his lack of discipline.
Is exactly what saved you
from becoming someone's prey.
Welcome back to the Order,
American Dragon.
Thanks, yo.
Um
Seems like a good reason to party, yes?
-Yes!
-Yes!
Yo, DJ!
Give us a beat to trick or treat!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
So, Fu Dog
We don't have to tell Gramps
about all this, right?
Eh, I don't know. It's a pretty big deal,
and me and Gramps
have been friends for a long
Ooh-ah Ha-ma-ma-ma-ma!
Whoo!
Kid, I don't think we need to tell
the old man anything ever again.
So, sweetheart,
how 'bout later you come over to my place
for a little trick or treat, huh?
Hyuh-yuh-yuh-yuh!
BOTH: One hundred and three, 104
Haley, was that the door?
I'll go check.
There was no one there.
One hundred and five, 106, 107
Hey, I won!
Indeed, you did, young one.
Indeed, you did.