American Horror Story s03e04 Episode Script

Fearful Pranks Ensue

[TIRES SCREECH] [GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] [CHATTERING] LAVEAU: Oh, don't you worry about a thing, mon chérie.
I got you covered.
Oh.
Ah Cora, what's gotten into you today? I'm sorry.
It's just Henry's first day of high school.
De La Salle.
The white school? CORA: It's integrated.
Earl and I decided to take a chance.
Give our son the best opportunity.
Mm.
You taking a big chance, I fear.
Oh, times are changing, Marie.
President Kennedy's in the White House.
Yeah? CORA: Mm-hm.
Uh-huh, and the White Citizens' Council of New Orleans warned the city about the Congolese raping their daughters.
And the burrheads being forced into their schools.
I have faith in the future.
Hm.
Heh-heh.
CORA: Oh, God.
Oh Get away from Henry.
Away from my boy.
OFFICER: Okay.
Oh, my beautiful baby boy.
Aah! Look what they've done to you.
[SOBBING] [DRUMS BEATING] [MEN HUMMING] [RATTLING] MAN: We done our duty tonight, boys.
Nobody else was gonna help us.
Governor did all he could.
Them niggers, they just keep coming.
[GROWLS] Aah! [BANGING] Hey.
What was that? [BANGING CONTINUES] MAN: What the hell is that? [SCREAMING] Shoot them.
[MEN SCREAMING] Aah! [GRUNTING] [SCREAMING] [OLD-TIMEY MUSIC PLAYS] [FIONA AND MADISON LAUGHING IN DISTANCE] FIONA: Oh.
Ooh.
Now I give it to you.
MADISON: No.
FIONA: Don't be afraid.
Use it.
Kill me for the sake of the coven.
MADISON: No.
FIONA: Yes.
Come on.
MADISON: No.
FIONA: Don't be afraid, do it.
Come on.
MADISON: I can't.
FIONA: Yes, you can, you stupid girl.
MADISON: No.
FIONA: Do it, and feel my power flow into you.
I know because I was standing where you're standing.
Stop yelling at me.
Do it! Do it! Do it! No! Do it! [GASPS] She would've made a lousy Supreme.
And that is something this coven just cant afford at this moment in history.
It's my duty to stay vital.
Heh.
Oh, Spalding.
I must confess I've always enjoyed our little talks together.
Particularly since you lost your tongue.
Makes you seem wiser somehow.
More thoughtful.
[GLASS SHATTERING] Deal with that.
Cordelia? [QUEENIE MOANS THEN FIONA YELLS] Unh.
I couldn't stop it.
Jesus, what happened? It hurt me really badly.
What? What hurt you? Oh, God.
Get up.
Cordelia.
Get up, I need your help.
CORDELIA: My God, what happened? This girl was attacked, near to death, while you slept.
By who? FIONA: Not who.
By what.
Some minion of hell or other.
Summoned by who? Not one of our girls? Christ, our girls couldn't pull a rabbit out of a hat.
This was dark-art voodoo, flat out.
Marie Laveau.
No doubt.
This is your fault.
You went to see her.
You deliberately provoked her.
FIONA: How would you know that? Because she told me.
Yeah? And what were you doing over on that side of town? It was a personal matter.
Christ, Delia.
Is that where you were sneaking off to this afternoon? To the voodoos for some half-assed fertility spell? Her Pochaut Medecine, huh? How much did she take you for? Nothing, thanks to you.
I left there with nothing.
Yeah, not even your dignity.
Christ, you as much as announced that her magic was stronger than yours.
Or mine.
Don't try to put this on me.
You went there first.
I went there to show strength.
And you undermined me by showing belly.
Mother? She's not breathing.
Move.
[EXHALES] [QUEENIE GASPS] [QUEENIE GROANS] I got a heartbeat.
But maybe we should get her to a hospital.
That is out of the question.
From now on, we handle everything internally.
The last thing you want is to have the Council show up on your doorstep and question your competence.
[SIGHS] Get out of there.
She saved me.
That black girl.
That monster, it was Bastien.
And the voodoo queen sent him here for me.
[CHUCKLES] What, do you think I don't know that? Just keep that information to yourself.
You understand? Now, get out of here.
What if it comes back? [CHUCKLES] He won't.
LAVEAU: Mm-hm.
All right, Miss Cora.
Ha-ha.
Are you ready to be dazzled? You know I am.
[BOTH CHUCKLING] [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] Oh-ho! Cora, you look beautiful.
LAVEAU: She better.
Miss Cora got a invite to the mayor's mansion tonight for the annual Halloween Ball.
Marie dragged my nappy head in here.
Hey, if your hair's nappy, white people ain't happy.
True that.
[DOORBELL BUZZES] Now, I wanna pay you this time.
Uh-uh.
You keep your money in your purse.
No.
You too good to me.
Hey, what's that? We're not expecting hair from India till next month.
It's not from India.
Some freak dropped it off, didn't say a word.
All right.
Well, open it up.
[GASPS] LAVEAU: Shh, shh.
CHANTAL: Oh, my God.
Marie.
Marie.
No.
No! Kyle, no.
Kyle.
No, Kyle.
[WATER RUNNING] [SOBBS] I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
I didn't mean for it to happen, any of it.
[WHIMPERING AND SNIFFLING] Are you hungry? God, you must be so hungry.
I'm gonna go make you something.
Oh, shit.
KIDS: Trick or treat.
WOMAN: Another house? FIONA: Delphine? Come do me.
Do you know why today is my favorite day of the year? It's Halloween.
Is it the end of harvest already? Land sakes.
I suppose you'll want me lighting the bonfires and putting out food to keep the demons at bay.
Evil spirits will walk the earth this night.
The dead shall rise and fearful pranks ensue should we fail to protect ourselves.
Oh, Christ.
Just zip it.
Miss Fiona, you look Younger? I was gonna say beautiful.
Oh.
Well, both are correct.
And as far as silly superstitions, you're behind the times.
Bonfires have become jack-d-lanterns and harvest offerings, just candy.
Do they work? You'll see.
Tonight I'm gonna let the whole world in.
Get a good look at me.
Who's the baddest witch in town? This doesn't concern you.
It does so.
If you start a war with those white bitches-- Me start it? You saw what she did to Bastien.
We had 10 years of trouble, Marie.
You weren't even born yet.
Yes, but I grew up on those stories.
Stories about heartbreak and blood running through the streets.
Yeah, their blood.
I used it to paint my dayroom brick red.
You were the hero of that story.
You sat across from them and you made peace.
CHANTAL: They had weir territory, we had ours.
Neither side crossed into the other.
No more bloodshed atone another's hands.
The rest of the world was cruel enough.
Chantal, I know you mean well but the truce is over.
If we don't fight back, we may as well lay down in our beds and wait for death because that's what's at stake.
And I don't have time to argue with you.
Either you're with me or against me.
And if it's the latter, you best stay out of my way.
How's Baton Rouge? I hate it when you take foreman jobs out of town.
You know we need the money.
What time's your meeting with Phil Underwood? [KNOCKING ON DOOR] Actually he's here right now.
I'll call you later.
Okay.
Kaylee.
[LAUGHING] [GRUNTING] [HANK YELLING] [SIGHS] [BOTH LAUGHING] HANK: Ah.
Ah.
Happy Halloween.
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh Mm.
Oh, man.
I always dress up for Halloween.
It's my favorite holiday.
When I was a little girl I used to love the candy.
Heh.
I think Halloween gives people the permission to be who they really wanna be.
Do you dress up? Who were you last year? Me? I was a monster.
CORDELIA: Come on, Queenie.
Come on.
Come on, Queenie.
Aah! Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
Hey.
Am I dead? No, honey, you're not dead.
Let me get you a fresh towel.
I don't know how to thank you for saving my life.
I guess you'll just have to work on that then, huh? [WATER RUNNING] They're here.
The girls are back? Not the girls.
Wow.
I had no idea the Council would be joining us today.
How screwed am I? Mm, just breathe.
Council on Witchcraft assembles only under the gravest circumstances.
And who doesn't love a surprise? I can guess why you're here.
Last night's assault on Queenie was a horrific tragedy but I can assure you she is resting comfortably.
Assault? Elaborate, elucidate.
I didn't see it myself, but-- By whom? Well, "what," actually.
Something not altogether human.
You should have alerted us at once.
Yes, I was going to.
I just Yes.
PEMBROKE: That's not why we're here.
Something potentially far more grave has come to our attention.
Oh, God.
I should never have gone over there.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Shit.
You might as well know.
I went to Marie Laveau.
But it was never my intention to violate the truce.
I see.
Well, perhaps we should all sit down.
Actually, don't get too comfortable.
And you, stop talking.
Fiona, it's been a long time.
Oh, Myrtle Snow.
Look at you.
Developing a sense of style when no one was paying attention.
Quentin, you vicious old queen.
Hm.
QUENTIN: Mm.
What's it take for a girl to get her phone call returned? Oh, my life is pure torment.
One book signing after another.
Travel, travel, travel.
It's, like, get me off of the bestseller list already.
Just remember whose magic it was that put you there.
Fiona, you're a caution.
[LAUGHS] [SIGHS] Pembroke.
Hm.
So you old hens what have you come to cluck about? We were summoned by one of your students.
Which one? NAN: Me.
I can't hear her anymore.
Madison? I think she's dead.
That's why we're here.
MYRTLE: Let the record show the official inquiry into the disappearance of our sister witch, Madison Montgomery, has commenced.
Noted.
MYRTLE: And the penalty for inflicting grievous bodily harm against a Salem descendant can be but one.
Death by fire.
Miss Foxx, when was the last time you saw or spoke with Madison? Yesterday.
Madison is a spirited girl.
The fact that she stayed out all night is hardly a shocker.
So it's not unusual for you to lose track of your charges for extended periods of time? No, that's not Do you read TMZ? Madison's already spent more time with us than at any rehab facility she's been sentenced to.
She's a special case.
Did she give the impression of being a particularly powerful witch? She's a movie star, so she's got that thing, you know? No, we don't.
What thing? That thing you lack, darling.
Charisma.
Madison Montgomery is a stone-cold bitch who loves hard drinking, big dicks and trouble.
If she's dead, it's because she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a hand job or something.
[QUEENIE SLURPING] Before her disappearance, was Madison manifesting any powers new ones, rapidly accumulating? New powers? No.
Mostly we were concentrating on helping her control her telekinesis not developing new skills.
Where's my rug? Yeah, she had powers all right.
Lots of them.
She set the neighbor's curtains on fire.
How did she do that? By looking at them.
it was awesome.
Who else knew about this? [GOTHIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] Mm.
You brought soup? There's a vending machine in the lobby.
It sells all kinds of stuff.
Soup, burritos.
Can you imagine? I mean, in my town all you could get from a vending machine was pop and Reese's.
I was in a place in San Diego once where they had sushi in the vending machines.
The raw-fish stuff? That sounds disgusting even when it's fresh.
[HANK CHUCKLES] I always wanted to go to San Diego, see the zoo.
You're quite the world traveler.
Work takes me to some pretty cool places.
And some crappy ones too.
Mr.
Big Shot USDA Agent.
They call us inspectors, not agents.
I'm not a spy.
You got an online girlfriend in every port, 007? You getting possessive already? No.
No, I know you.
I know you're not like that.
To think I found you in an online community dedicated to collecting Thomas Kinkade paintings.
Hey, to be fair, I found you.
Yeah.
You played it smart, though.
It was like you knew you had me before I even responded.
Other guys online come on so strong, so fast.
It's like 10 minutes in and they wanna see a picture of my boobs or something.
You were cool as a cucumber.
James Bond, right? Yeah.
Well, shit.
What? I really like you.
Is that a problem? It is if you're gonna break my heart.
Mm.
You must think you're very clever.
I do.
I do think I'm very clever.
I am, after all, the Supreme.
Sadly, you are.
Though given the state of this coven and this school one could be forgiven for thinking we've been without a Supreme for the past 40 years.
If you don't like the way I run things, take it up with the Council.
But that's just it, you don't run things, you run off.
You were absent from last year's summit gathering.
Three winter petitions remain unsigned.
And you've failed to appoint a new chancellor in over a decade.
Has it been that long? The role of Supreme is more than a figurehead.
You must be present for the betterment of our people not just off jet-setting around the globe to sate your vulgar, licentious appetites.
You go.
What's your point, Myrt? Why now, Fiona? Why come back now? I'm sorry.
I'm either confused or really bored but am I a rotten Supreme because I stayed away or because I came back? This is the second time while you were under this roof that a witch has gone missing.
And in both instances, you were the last one to see either one of them alive.
Please, she-- She's still alive.
She has to be.
ELSA: We all grieve Anna Leigh, Fiona.
But together, none of the witches or Warlocks of the Council can detect her life-force.
We must assume the worst.
You say she was heading somewhere when she spoke to you.
Did she give you any indication as to where? But she took a fine bottle of wine with her.
She said it was a final peace offering.
Anna Leigh recently negotiated a truce with Marie Laveau, the voodoo queen.
You don't suspect the colored witches are involved in this? I couldn't say.
Gather yourself, girl.
You need to reach deep and exercise your strength now.
We have something to tell you.
ELSA: In loving memory of our lost Supreme, Anna Leigh Leighton we announce her posthumous selection of the witch she believed to be her trueborn successor Supreme Elect, Fiona Geode.
[CHATTERING] This Thursday night, at the start of the full moon Fiona Geode will begin the tests of the Seven Wonders.
From time immemorial, our great people has chosen to uphold and uplift one among us who was born destined to lead.
Can you believe it? Fiona Geode.
She'll end up being the youngest Supreme in history.
I can't believe she's getting away with it.
Getting away with what, dogface? Murder.
ELSA: --persecution, adversity.
A witch supreme in power who can heal us and make us whole and teach us I'm a Guardian of veracity in the Vernacular.
I know when a lie's being told.
And I protect the truth.
[MYRTLE GASPS] [ALL MURMURING] Spalding.
[MYRTLE CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] I conjure and command thee, dark lords To the vernacular Summon truth from lying tongues Fie upon the wicked Who dare to throw sand in our eyes With force I command thee Let truth be spoken Fiona aced transmutation and pyrokinesis.
By this time tomorrow, we'll have a new Supreme.
You notice how Spalding spends his life cleaning up Fiona's messes? If Fiona did do something terrible to Anna Leigh, Spalding knows about it.
If Spalding does know something, he's not talking.
He's not going to have a choice.
I enchanted his tongue so it's incapable of speaking a lie.
And I happen to know the Council's calling him for a closed session tomorrow morning.
Thank you, Spalding.
[SPALDING SCREAMING] [WOMAN SCREAMS] MYRTLE: Oh, my God.
GIRL: Aah! MYRTLE: What's happening? Someone's been attacked.
[SPALDING MOANING] [GASPS] Everyone, back to your rooms this instant.
[SPALDING CONTINUES MOANING] The time has come for you to pay for every crime you've committed.
I'm innocent until proven guilty.
And so far, you have not proven one goddamn thing.
MYRTLE: The Council reminds you no witch has been tried, convicted and burned at the stake since 1926.
And on a personal note, I'd like to add I've got a book of matches in my pocket, Fiona and I'm just dying to light this fire.
Leave it in.
I'd like to call our final witness, Spalding.
Stand before us.
Forty years ago, our Supreme disappeared.
Shortly thereafter, you were mutilated.
Some call it coincidence, others call it mystery.
As to me, I can't imagine living under the same roof as the monster who dismembered me.
Making her breakfast, pouring her tea.
But you have nothing to be afraid of now.
Justice is so near.
All you have to do is write the name of the witch who was responsible for severing your tongue.
MYRTLE: He's not going to have a choice.
I enchanted his tongue so it's incapable of speaking a lie.
And I happen to know the Council's calling him for a closed session tomorrow morning.
[THUNDER CRASHES] [KNOCKING ON DOOR] I got your note.
Thank you for coming.
These are my last words, Miss Fiona.
I have always loved you.
Spalding.
[FIONA SCREAMING] This will not stand! You killed Anna Leigh because she was the last Supreme! And you killed an innocent girl because she was the next Supreme! You got away with it! She keeps getting away with it.
CORDELIA: You're wrong.
You think my mother killed Madison Montgomery so she could remain the Supreme? Yes.
You're blind to the ways of your mother, chicky.
You always have been.
Madison wasn't the next Supreme.
CORDELIA: The hallmark of any rising Supreme is glowing, radiant health.
Madison had a heart murmur.
She kept it monitored.
She kept it secret.
So I'm sorry, Myrtle for 40 years, you've been barking up the wrong tree.
My mother is the Supreme for a reason.
Hear, hear.
KIDS: Trick or treat.
CHANTAL: All right, y'all.
And look, don't eat too much candy, you hear? Good night.
[DRUMS BEATING] [RATTLING] [GROWLS] [DOORBELL RINGS] KIDS: Trick or treat.
Oh, little beggar children all fancied up.
Don't be greedy.
Just take one.
You little hooligans.
You're being morbid.
Madison's not dead.
Then why can't I hear her? Maybe she found a way to keep you out of her head.
I know I've been trying.
No.
She passed.
We should be out looking for her.
Fiona told us to stay inside.
[OLD-TIMEY MUSIC PLAYS] Enough rosé.
Let's get you a proper drink.
Bartender.
Bring this lady a Maker's neat.
You'll make a bad girl of me yet.
Christ knows, somebody's got to, darling.
Hm.
Here, cheers.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] Ooh.
Ah.
Okay.
What? Let's play a game.
Ha-ha.
We each ask each other three questions and we swear to answer them honestly.
Is your seat belt fastened? Nice and tight.
Why do you hate Hank? Are you attracted to him? Ugh.
Jesus.
Because, Delia, he reeks of bullshit.
And I don't understand how you cannot see that.
Number two.
And no lying.
Did you kill Madison? No.
I did not kill Madison.
My turn.
Who do you believe is the next Supreme? No, no, no, it's still my turn.
Yeah? Well, your questions are boring.
So answer my question.
Who do you think is my replacement? You're obsessed, aren't you? Why? You feel your powers weakening? Hm? Keep these coming, Mr.
Man.
[VOMITING] [DANCE MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] [SCREAMING] KIDS: Trick or treat.
Hands off.
I decide what y'all deserve.
There you go.
You don't get anything.
No, I'm the neighbor next door.
I came to drop off these.
Oh.
Are those for Madison? Actually, these cookies are for you.
Ah.
For me? I wanted to pay you back for that delicious cake you brought over.
[BANGING ON DOOR] [WHIMPERS] [BANGING CONTINUES] [WHIMPERS]