American Horror Story s05e11 Episode Script

Battle Royale (70 min)

(door opens) She's back.
She just came through the lobby.
She she seems upset about something.
Distracted.
Then now is the perfect time.
Are you ready for this, girl? All right, then.
We go in, guns blazing.
And don't stop.
And once she goes down Oh, God.
we need to make sure she stays down.
Okay.
(elevator bell dings) It took seconds of your time to take his life It took seconds For a second Stop.
For a second Goddamn it.
Donnie, what'd you have to go and do that for? DONOVAN: You murdered me.
IRIS: No, baby, no! We were aiming for her.
Iris, we need to find her.
We need to finish her! I am not leaving my son.
Oh, you can't let me die in this place.
IRIS: You are not gonna die.
I won't let you.
It's too late.
Please.
You gotta get me out of here.
You can't leave me.
(groans) I can't be trapped here with her other lovers.
- (grunting) - Okay.
All right.
Let's go.
Aah! Oh.
(elevator bell dings) (groaning) (elevator bell dings) Okay.
(coughing) What are looking at? Keep moving! (gasps, groans) (coughing) (car horn honking) Am I am-am I safe? Yes, baby, yes.
Yes, baby, you're safe.
You're safe.
Hey.
Thank you Mom.
No.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! (screaming continues) Shh Hey, hey! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
(gasping) Shh.
(panting, grunts) Hold tight.
There's still another half bullet in there.
No.
(whimpers) - (screaming) - Hey.
Shh, shh! (screaming continues) (laughing) (distant, distorted moaning) (grunting, gasping) (grunting, gasping stop) You saved me.
Why? Because I need you.
Because, for once, I won't be left.
(exhales) The bullet nicked your femoral artery.
You lost a lot of blood.
I know every vein and artery in the human body.
You're certainly Edward Sexton with that needle and thread.
They don't call me Hypodermic Sally for nothing.
You're not going to leave me, right? They always leave.
Promise me you won't leave me.
I'm not going anywhere.
Good.
This kid I grew up with, Juan Moacanda.
I gave him his first hand job.
We were from the Valley.
Anyway, he went on to become this giant drug dealer.
His stuff was the shit.
I used to sell it for him.
Made a lot of good friends, you know? It was always, "I'm hurting, Sally.
" "Can you hook me up, Sally?" Except for Nick Harley and Tina Black.
The musicians? I saw them once.
At the Troubadour.
They were almost good.
Hey! They were good.
They were good to me.
ENGINEER: Same pickup point.
NICK: Yeah, okay.
SALLY: They liked my songs.
(humming a tune) ENGINEER: Still rolling.
SALLY: They thought I had talent.
NICK: Two, three, four (guitar starts playing) Has anybody seen My buddy Pain (Tina sighs) You went out For a pack of Pall Malls (squeals) (sighs) My buddy Pain (both moaning) You want me to cut that out and keep going or should we start from the top? NICK: I don't know.
What do you think, Sally? I mean, it's your song, right? It's hot.
I think you should leave it.
Sally, you damn pervert.
I love you! You holding? Always.
Well, then we're done here.
Let's get a room and melt our faces away.
(Tina giggles) SALLY: They treated me like an artist.
(all laughing) NICK: Oh, your grandest suite for me and my two nieces, please.
All the rooms are basically the same.
And I'm gonna need a deposit.
What the shit, lady-- based on the way we look? Has there ever been a more aptly named style of music than grunge? NICK: Man, this is what rock and roll looks like now.
It's not hair spray and spandex anymore.
Just put a towel down on anything if you sit on it naked.
Poets' skid marks stain as much as us commoners.
(chuckles) (bell dings twice) And for the record, Shout at the Devil was an underrated masterpiece.
Oh, come on.
(gasps) Yes.
(sultry laugh) (gasps) Come on.
I hear it feels like a constant orgasm.
Oh, it's gonna hurt like hell.
Perfect.
I'll write a song about it.
Pull it out, I want to see.
It'll be easy.
I call it the Big Veiny, for obvious reasons.
(both women laugh) You know what to do about When you can't Seem to do anything about it (moans) Just go, go Go (grunts, moans) Go Nick I just want to crawl inside your skins and masturbate.
(giggles) Got to stay close, man.
Thick as thieves.
That's how you get a number-one record-- you make it real.
I know how we can get close.
Make it real.
Do you trust me? Go, go I don't know why the idea came to me.
I just (whimpering) I wanted us to be so close.
(screaming) I just loved them so much.
Tell me you love me.
I didn't want them to ever leave.
Tell me you love me, yeah, tell me you love me No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no! Help me! Pretty sure they're dead.
Well, almost.
Please call the doctor.
They need help.
Not sure what I can do to help them.
They'll be messing themselves soon enough.
I'll come back.
Please.
Postmortem excrement is the biggest stain challenge of them all.
No! No, please, help.
Please (grunting) (muffled screaming) (chuckling) I had done an excellent job.
I wouldn't be abandoned this time.
(screams) Not for five days.
On day two, he showed up.
(panting) He tortured me for three days.
I couldn't take it anymore.
(screaming) After that this was my spot.
It's the only place I had ever experienced any real belonging or happiness.
You have serious abandonment issues.
That's why I saved you.
I'm flattered.
Yeah, well, I don't want you, bitch.
(exhales) I want John.
And he left.
With that battle-ax of a wife and your sweet angel child.
I want him back in the hotel and I want him dead, here with me, forever.
So I'm gonna need you to do it.
Your timing is off.
I'm gonna get you well.
I'm gonna bring you blood.
As much as you need.
Not human blood.
I need blood like mine.
Would you bring Donovan here? I can feed off him.
Just a little bit at a time.
Until I'm well.
Donovan is dead.
(chuckles) He was very beautiful.
(door shuts) Do you remember where your room is? I'll take you.
You want something to eat? How 'bout some fruit? It's rotten.
How long has it been since you were home? Too long.
Now that we have Holden, it's gonna go back to the way it was.
We're gonna be a family again.
How are you going to explain this to Grandma? He looks like a baby.
Holden's supposed to be my big brother.
Grandma doesn't have to know.
This is our secret.
As long as we take our medicine, we'll be healthy.
You mean drink blood? Is that what happened to Jasper? Are you going to eat me, too? Of course not.
You'll always be safe.
How are you going to eat? JOHN: That's my job.
It's nothing you have to worry about.
(panting) (moans) (panting) What the hell are they doing here? You're getting worse.
You're not healing yourself the way you should be.
You said it.
You need blood.
Your blood.
No.
There must be another way.
You don't have a lot of options.
And you need a fix.
Now.
(Countess sobs) (panting) It'll kill them.
I'd rather die.
You're not saving anyone.
What do you think's gonna happen to your children? Hmm? It won't take long for Iris and Liz to mow them down.
(gasps) No! Please.
Please, I can't.
I can't! It's okay, Mommy.
Let us help you.
COUNTESS: My sweet my Hold on to Mommy.
(crying) No! (knocking on door) (echoing): No! You did it.
Big hotel.
Big furnace.
Thank you.
(sniffles) I just couldn't have him going down that chute like so much trash.
Of course not.
Is there any sign of her? Not yet.
Hopefully she crawled into some corner and died.
It's not likely.
No.
Could I have a minute? Oh.
(sighs) (sniffles) Oh, Donovan.
Sweet baby.
You did always have that mean streak.
(chuckles, sniffles) I always said that orneriness came from your father.
But that's not so.
That was pure me.
Oh, we were so much alike.
Maybe that's why we couldn't be close.
But I did love you.
I swear to God I did.
(shuddering breath) (sighs) How are you feeling? Leave me alone.
My goodness, did we have a little accident? I want every speck of him gone.
Oh, my.
Who was that? My son.
Would you like him back in the can? No.
Use the vacuum.
Where's the bag? It's bagless.
(chuckles) (chuckles) I'll have him all scooped up in a jiffy! (vacuum whirring) Are you sure this is a good idea? We can't go back now.
We didn't kill her.
We'll never get another chance like that.
She is gonna eat me the minute you let her out of that cage.
Ramona and I go way back.
I can guarantee you that she'll at least listen to me.
And we share a common enemy.
And, hopefully, she'll see that that supersedes any recent mistakes you may have made.
So we're desperate.
Just out of options.
We'll just point her in the direction of the Countess and get out of the way.
Uh-huh.
IRIS: What could go wrong? (beeping) (clicking) (creaking) (gasps) What the? Oh! Oh.
How did that get in here? Oh (Iris gasps) Look at all of them.
Oh, God.
(Liz groans) (Iris groans) That sad soul.
They've all been drained.
This place is a meat locker.
Oh Run! (Iris screams) - Run! - Oh, God! Not another step! And don't you dare point either of those things at me! So the Countess sent you here to finish me off.
- Oh - Well, the game isn't over till I do the finishin'.
Liz Taylor? Since when are you working with the Countess? No, no, no, no.
We're all working against the Countess.
Not that one.
Bitch put me in that hole and made me hungry for blood and revenge.
(inhales sharply) Eatin' you is gonna make me feel doubly good.
- Told you.
- No.
We need her.
We need all of us if we're going to end the Countess's grip on this place, her grip on all of us.
Please, - sweetheart.
- Don't you "sweetheart" me.
I have been scratched at, conked out, and locked up.
But Mama is on a course correction.
LIZ: Ramona I should have listened to you about the Countess, but I was a love-addled idiot, so, please forgive me.
I feel you.
But I'm just not feeling like myself right now.
I fed but something not agreein' with me.
Oh.
Oh, but we can fix that.
- Oh, yeah.
- I have some of the Countess's purified stash up at the lounge.
I don't need any of her baby aspirin.
I need to take a life to bring me back to life! Well that can also be arranged.
(elevator bell dings) We can't just go out on the street and bash somebody in the head.
If you have another idea, I'm all ears.
(elevator bell dings) Hello? Is anybody here? Hey, either of y'all work here? Dinner is served.
IRIS: Did you have a reservation? Uh, yeah.
One name: Queenie.
Oh, yes, I have you.
And you're gonna be staying with us for three nights.
- Are you traveling alone? - Just me.
And what brings you to L.
A.
? Drew Carey.
I'm here to win big money on The Price Is Right.
Wonderful.
Yeah.
(chuckles) Well, I hope you get called to "come on down!" (both chuckle) That's actually guaranteed.
Between you and me, my Supreme did a little somethin'-somethin' to my ticket, so it's enchanted.
I thought you looked familiar! I saw you I saw you on CNN! You're one of the witches! My God.
Oh, my God.
Oh! It's this amazing story.
There's a whole gaggle of them.
They're a bona fide coven.
They wear chic black, and they do spells Oh, my goodness! I hope you didn't have to marry Satan or anything to join.
That's actually ignorant and offensive.
We're born that way.
We'll all part of an ancient bloodline.
Blood? Really? IRIS: That's fascinating.
Liz, why don't you go upstairs and make sure she has everything in her room she'll need during her stay.
Oh.
Of course.
I'll get right on that.
I'll just be a few minutes.
IRIS: Mm-hmm.
(door creaks) (exhales): Ooh.
There's a lot of bad juju in this room.
Oh, that's the previous tenant.
He's gone.
Ice machine is down the hall, and local calls are free.
(distant scream echoes) (phone ringing) LIZ: Plenty of fluffy towels in the bathroom-- I just checked.
You're all set.
(distant scream echoing) No.
I have a dark feeling.
I'll take another room, please.
Oh, we're close to capacity, but I'll check when I go downstairs.
Meanwhile, you can freshen up.
You'll want to be tip-top for the taping.
(sets key on sink) (turns on faucet) Bitch, when's the last time you saw a dermatologist? Okay, you are obviously trippin'.
What do you want? (deep voice): Blood.
(gasping) (laughs quietly) Yeah, you clearly don't know who you're messing with.
(gasps) (grunts) (gasps) That's right-- I'm a human voodoo doll, bitch.
Any hurt on me gonna go right back to you! You're a damn witch! Witch's blood will make me strong.
I ain't nobody's protein shake, bitch! (screams, gasps) (gasps, yells) (grunting, gasping) That's all you got? Nothing? (panting) I'm not letting some raggedy-ass, red-dotted, blood-whore freak take up another second of my time.
It's my vacation, bitch! The Price Is Right is waitin'.
Come on down! - (yells) - (gasps) Why aren't you (gasps) Your magic has nowhere to go, my dear.
You see, I'm not alive.
You may be a witch (Ramona grunts, growls) but I am a ghost.
(sighs) Ooh.
A shame she had to die.
(chomping, sucking) This one had a flair for the dark arts.
(gasping) Who the hell are you? James Patrick March.
You saved me for a reason.
I need you to kill the Countess.
Looks to me you qualify for the job.
And ruin my one chance for happiness? Oh, no.
She must die in this hotel, but she can't suspect I had anything to do with it.
You're the only one strong enough.
Then she'll be bound to the Cortez.
She's on the verge of absconding forever, and I will not allow it.
Drink up, darling.
You're going to need your strength.
(growls quietly) (muffled grunting) Do you swear you haven't taken any drugs in the last 30 days? (muffled grunting) I'm a cop.
I can test you.
Do I have to test you? (muffled grunting) Alex? Hello? Alex? Scarlett? (keys jingle, lock clicks) Hello, John.
You? What'd you do with my family? (chuckles): I didn't do anything.
You know I'm trapped here.
And you want nothing more than for me to be trapped here with you.
Well, that's right.
And I would've taken a hammer to the back of your head the second you walked in, but he wouldn't let me.
March-- are you saying he took my family? You made him a promise, John.
Where are they? One last kill, and then I can take you to your family.
They're safe.
For now.
He's never gonna leave me alone until I give him what he wants.
"Thou shalt not commit murder.
" That's all that's left.
I need to find a murderer.
Well, that shouldn't be too difficult.
LIZ: Oh.
Damn! I hate it when a woman looks better in one of my outfits than I do.
(chuckles): I know, I know.
I ought to be in pictures, 'cept I can't be photographed.
Anyways we have some accessories for you.
(chuckles) I don't need any of that.
I got witch's blood in my veins.
Plus, a golden opportunity.
The Countess has never been more vulnerable.
I don't need any convincing, sisters.
It's time for me to rise and her to fall.
(grunts) (liquid pouring) It's not the Shalimar that gives you away.
It's your blood.
I've never known another woman whose blood smelled like walnuts.
Yours still smells like black licorice.
You look incredible.
What have you been eating? I just had me a witch.
Really? I feel like grizzly bears are running through my veins.
I feel strong.
Strong enough to take me down? (chuckles) I could have Yogi Bear running though my veins and I could take you down.
And I imagine that locking you up in that hallway hasn't softened your rage towards me.
I fantasized about coming here and ending you every day.
And what did you settle on? You always did like to take your time.
I haven't decided yet.
I've never been one to plan.
I prefer improvisation.
I'm weak, but I'm still the champ.
You may beat me, but you're not getting out of here without at least a severe, lifelong limp.
You're bullshitting me? I think everyone in the world thinks they're either blessed or cursed.
(scoffing laugh) I've come to realize that I'm neither.
I am a curse.
Nobody that gets within ten feet of me survives.
And God help you if you get right up close, skin to skin.
Then you're really screwed.
You're trying to make me feel sorry for you? I'm trying to apologize.
(exhales) I'm not used to this.
Cut me some slack, bitch.
What if I gave you the hotel? Hah.
Severance pay for 20 years of hell? I liked staying here because it made me feel safe.
But I see now that it's just because I was so comfortable living in heartbreak.
I don't want to be here anymore.
It's harder to kill you when I'm sitting in the same room as you.
Easier to carve your heart out of your chest and eat it when you're just a monster in my mind.
That sounds like a dream way to die.
So erotic.
I want to go.
Just me and my baby boy.
Okay kill me.
But screw me first.
You adore me You adore me You adore me I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be adored I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be adored I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be adored I wanna, I wanna (elevator bell dings) I gotta be adored I wanna be adored.
Give yourself a smile, John.
Ten Commandments.
Each victim a worthy representative of their sin.
And the last one: Thou shalt not commit murder.
I suppose you or I could be sitting on that shelf, but your choice was inspired.
Couldn't have worked out any better if I had planned it myself.
Aren't you proud of our boy, Sally? I always knew he was the one.
How do you feel, John? - It must be exhilarating.
- Yeah.
MARCH: A true sense of completeness.
I'm completely done.
MARCH: No! (grunting) MARCH: No! He belongs with me! No! I need him alive.
Out in the world.
There's more at stake here than your womanly desires.
I have great plans for this one.
- (grunts) - Stop now before my addiction demon becomes your constant companion! No more plans.
(panting) Take me to my family.
- John John! - Please! Do you remember the first time, Miss Evers? When I had intimacies with the opposite sex? The first time you realized you were a ghost.
Oh! Well, I was very frightened and confused, but I had you to steady my hand.
You were my rock, Mr.
March.
Yes, yes.
The Countess will be similarly unmoored.
It's up to us to provide that ballast.
I want everything to be perfect.
What's for dinner? Chipped beef on toast.
To serve my queen?! This is an outrage! (doorbell rings) Darling, you look ravishing.
Come in.
Take my hand.
It'll take some time to acclimate yourself to your new state.
How do you feel? There's no pain but no passion.
No passion, no fire.
The passion was in front of your nose, if only you'd opened your eyes to see it.
At least I don't have to spend an eternity as a pear-shaped frump.
MARCH: (chuckles) Well! Yes.
Uh you'll find some frustrations, no doubt, as you adjust to the vicissitude of your new life.
The inability to step outside the confines of this hotel, for one.
But there is no profit accentuating the limitations.
On the balance, we are blessed.
We are together again, my love.
That one fact erases a multitude of sins.
I can finally forgive you for turning me in to the police.
I didn't turn you in.
There is no need for any further prevarication, darling.
We are reduced to our essence.
I'm not lying.
If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you myself.
Then who? MS.
EVERS: You should've left! Why didn't you leave?! I knew you would eventually get bored.
Why did you have to die here? It was me.
I did it! I wanted you for myself! I left the handkerchief for the police.
I knew that they would come, and I knew that you would never allow yourself to be captured.
I wanted us to die together.
So that you can see the depth of my devotion.
While this one resented every moment she was obligated to be in your presence.
I would happily stand behind you, waiting to serve, savoring your every word.
Have you seen no evidence of my love? Do you feel nothing at all? Can you see me now? I have laid myself bare.
I've dwelt in silence for so long.
Give me a word, Mr.
March.
Let me be happy.
Get out.
You are banished from my presence.
I-I feel (shuddering breath) strangely free.
(sniffles) (low groan) I will no longer wait on you and your whore.
COUNTESS: You have nothing.
What else would you possibly do? There are more stains in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
(door opens) (door shuts) Mm.
A toast.
How thrilled I am to have you across from me.
Not once a month, but from now on.
Until the sun falls from the sky and the heavens burn in conflagration.
(exhales)