American Horror Story s06e06 Episode Script

Chapter 6

1 Are we rolling? Uh-huh.
The camera never stops.
No matter what anybody says.
Even if I tell you to stop, keep rolling.
You got it? Genius.
Legend in the flesh.
Looking good, Frank.
(laughs) Well, this is what a network president Hey.
looks with a 14 rating in the demo and a 25 share.
(laughs) Goddamn right.
Okay, let's, uh, have a seat, everyone.
(laughs) W-W-What is this? This is the beginning of your next big hit.
Take one, pass it down.
Everyone on camera has to sign the releases.
Come-Come on, Sidney, turn them off.
We're not the talent here.
I got news for you, Frank.
You took a chance on My Roanoke Nightmare.
That's talent.
(chuckles) You picked up the hottest show on TV.
That gives you first crack at the sequel.
No bullshit.
Okay? We've all done the math.
14 minutes of commercials per hour.
That's 28 spots at $450,000 per spot.
That's $12 million a show.
That is football money at a fraction of the cost.
So, we are gonna be filming everything.
People want the reality.
They're interested in the process.
We have over three million followers on Twitter; almost five million likes on Facebook for the finale; multiple covers of Entertainment Weekly; hundreds of fan sites online; cons across the country.
The appetite for this show hasn't even reached its peak! We have millions of eyeballs waiting to see the next iteration and you have a chance to buy it now.
Okay, great.
(chuckles) So, what is it? Okay, it's familiar, but it's different.
Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell.
I'm gonna bring everybody who lived in that house, and the actors who played them on the show, put them together in that house again.
Only this time, hidden cameras recording everything.
Are the actors playing the same roles? And what are they reenacting? Nothing.
The drama is reality.
So, it's like Big Brother.
Bingo, but with scares.
See, they're gonna be living in that house over the period of the blood moon, when all of the bad shit happens.
Can you imagine the reactions when The Butcher shows up? Or the Chens? And it'll all be filmed, 24 hours a day.
Okay, I-I don't understand.
Um, you expect-- excuse me.
Thank you.
You want to capture actual spirits on film? Like ghosts? Well, I expect to capture real reactions to what they'll believe are spirits.
So, it's fake.
(chuckles) Reality is what we make of it.
You of all people should know that.
(chuckles) A-A-After the show airs, we neither confirm nor deny content and everybody signs confidentiality agreements.
Well, i-it sounds great.
There's just, uh, one small niggle.
Our research department has come up with some concerns regarding the ending of last season.
Uh a majority of our audience felt dissatisfied because the murder of Mason was never solved.
And the person they believe did it suffered no consequences.
I get it.
I'm all over it.
Do we even still have the house? I own it.
I bought it from Matt and Shelby for fifty cents on the dollar when we shot the reenactments.
And they're all willing to go back there? I mean (chuckles) that place is a nightmare.
Where the hell have you been, Diana? You missed the whole thing.
I doubled the license fee (whispering): and got 13 episodes on the air.
You might have to give them back.
I finally got ahold of Shelby Miller.
Yeah? She doesn't want anything to do with it.
I know.
(inhales deeply) (exhales loudly) I can smell the patchouli from here.
SIDNEY: Thanks again for agreeing with this interview.
I don't think we'd have a show without you.
Yeah, well, I'm not doing this for you, Sid.
I am here to set the record straight.
I've read the vile things that people are saying about us online.
I hear the comments they make.
I try to ignore it and live my life, but at a certain point you have to you have to defend yourself.
People leave hatchets stuck into my front door.
I've gotten death threats.
It's That must take a toll on a marriage.
I was so sorry to hear that you and Matt separated, by the way.
You know, we thought that, um (laughs) We thought that doing the show would be a healing experience, maybe help us process everything.
It just made us relive it all.
Is that what led to the thing with Dominic Banks? PAPARAZZO: Shelby Miller! PAPARAZZO 2: Dominic! Dominic Banks! Is this a date? All right, guys, back up.
Come on, back it up, back it up.
Shelby! Shelby! Let's go.
Dude, come on.
PAPARAZZO 1: Does Matt know you're out with his celebrity doppelganger tonight? I can't I-I'm not, I'm not gonna do I can't really do this.
Not with the Yeah.
Billy, can we cut? (sniffs) Yeah, can we cut it there? Thanks.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't I shouldn't have brought up the affair.
SHELBY: "Affair"? (sniffles) I wouldn't call a stupid, weekend fling an "affair.
" I was lonely.
My husband wasn't talking to me, so I settled for the (sighs) for the cheap imitation.
Matt hasn't spoken to me since.
(sighs) Which is why when I go back to Roanoke Wait, but you you want to do the show? No.
Of course I don't want to do the show, but if look, Matt can't avoid me if we are locked in that house together, so That's great.
This this this because I-I know the fans, they want to see they want to see you guys have a real happy ending.
If I do this Mm-hmm.
Dominic cannot be involved.
I will not do that to Matt.
Not a problem.
Dominic Banks is out.
What's the status on Dominic's deal? Casting closed him today.
SIDNEY: Wait, wait.
What the hell are you doing? Could you make the camera placement any more obvious? Well, they know there's gonna be cameras, Sid.
Well, of course they know, but we want them to forget.
Take that down.
Put it in the corner.
Right there.
(snaps fingers) Nice.
Where are we with the rest? Uh, we should have at least four cameras in every room of the house by nightfall.
Mack, hey.
Hey, what's up, man? What do you got for me? Hey.
Ah, sweetness.
Follow me right in here.
Prepare to be amazed.
Ready? Yeah.
(pipes rumbling) (rattling) (rattling continues) (screams) (laughing) Oh, God! Oh, what is that smell? Sulfur.
That is genius.
SIDNEY: What about the windows in the living room? You give the order, those babies are gonna explode like the (bleep) Fourth of July.
(imitates Cricket): That's a call back to Cricket's séance.
(loud banging) (screams) (laughs) (screams) Oh, that's (bleep) great.
That's (bleep) great.
All right, follow me.
There's more.
Just, uh, watch your step.
(whispering): What is this shit? All right and, uh okay.
I am too afraid to stay in the house now.
I fear whatever malevolent force is in there is trying to kill me.
I find myself hiding in the cellar.
What? Didn't you like that? this house.
Help! Can I talk to you without the cameras on? Yeah, that's never gonna happen.
What?! Look, uh one reason why the show why the show was so popular is because it felt real.
Do you really want gimmicky pop-up scares? I'm not interested in doing another horror show.
I'm interested in using horror to find justice.
These aren't pop-up scares for the sake of scares.
These are gonna lead to the truth, okay? I'm gonna be the guy who gets Lee Harris to admit what she did.
We don't know that she killed her husband.
That's right.
That's right.
The only people who know for sure are gonna be in this house locked together 24/7.
We put enough pressure on them, somebody's gonna slip up.
Whoa, whoa, what are those? They're our production trailers.
I can see that.
Why are they here? Where else would they be? Diana, how many times do I have to explain this to you? We need the cast to think that this is real.
That's not gonna happen if they look out the window and see trailers parked in the (bleep) yard.
Hey, can you can you move those out about a half-mile and hide it in the woods? There should be no hint of the rest of the world.
They need to feel like they are completely alone.
When they look out the window, I want them to see nothing but the dark woods, the night sky and the mother(bleep) blood moon.
Okay, you're right.
I get it.
You need to see this.
I need to see this.
It's just right here behind the tree.
(exhales) (coughs) Hey, what are you what are you doing? Get over here.
Get this, get this.
Alissa, is this us? Uh-uh.
DIANA: Who would do something like this?! SIDNEY: What are those, fetal pigs? DIANA: Uh, maybe-maybe it was those Polk people.
SIDNEY: No, nobody's seen the Polks for weeks.
Trust me, we've looked.
No, those hillbillies are in the wind.
Well, if it wasn't the Polks, then who the (bleep) was it? Hello.
I'm Agnes Mary Winstead, and I played the part of The Butcher in My Roanoke Nightmare.
Hi, Agnes.
Please, give the viewers a taste of what life's been like for you since the show became a smash hit.
Well, it's been a wild ride.
But first I want to thank everybody behind the scenes, because, I mean-- Well, it's been a team effort.
You know? The Butcher-- (smacks lips) she's the role of a lifetime.
And I felt a connection with her from the very first moment that I booked the audition.
I am the queen of every hive.
I am the shield over every head.
(shouting): I am the spear of battle! Who but I am both the tree and the lightning that strikes it.
Want me to do it again? I mean, I can make it grittier, more vulnerable.
I mean, I just-- I really love this part.
It's a great part.
Your nuanced portrayal garnered rave reviews all around.
You were even nominated for a Saturn Award.
I know.
You were a huge fan favorite.
You were the villain America loved to hate.
But I-- I don't see her as a villain.
You know, you see, because it's my job as an actress to to create a real human being.
She has desires, she has weaknesses, just like you and me.
And it was a privilege to to breathe life into a real historical figure.
I mean, whom, frankly, the patriarchy has just swept aside.
I felt a deep responsibility to get it right.
Well, I think it's obvious that you really connected with this part.
But it took a bit of a toll as well, didn't it? Every part, every part, you know, takes its pound of flesh.
But The Butcher was extremely, extremely taxing to play.
And in my mind, there are only two great roles in the American canon.
It's Mary Tyrone in Long Day's Journey, and The Butcher.
Agnes, I think we should address the elephant in the room.
Can we talk about Hollywood? WOMAN: Say "Pikachu!" Get out of my way! Get out of my way! This is my land! This is my land! Everybody knows that you were charged with assault with a deadly weapon and sentenced to six months in a mental health facility.
I would like to give you the chance to set the record straight.
What happened that day? You know, it was an incident.
It-it just Breakdown? I-it-it was a one-time thing, and, uh, I'm much better now.
I mean, thanks to the-the the great counselors at Holly Hill.
Well, this was more than a one-time thing.
You were diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.
I think it's fair to say that you became obsessed.
You stole props from the shoot.
Costumes That's my action figure, that's I mean, you even moved your entire life out here to North Carolina, a few miles away from where we shot the show.
Well, look, I'll be honest, this was a difficult time for me.
You know, I-I I dove too deep into the part.
But I got help.
My meds are completely regulated, and I'm excited to start the new season.
So, you know I see, I see.
So you're fine now.
How do you explain this? What is that? What was it, a present from The Butcher? I didn't I didn't do this.
I'm really here to make sure that this is documented on camera.
Officer? (door opens) Sidney, you have to believe me.
I'm-I'm I'm okay now.
I This isn't You can call my doctors Agnes Mary Winstead, you've been served.
We've taking out a restraining order against you.
You are not allowed within 500 feet of the production.
But how am I supposed to do the show if I can't be within 500 feet of-- You're not on the show.
You're never gonna be on the show again.
But you need me.
You can't do Roanoke without The Butcher.
The Butcher is not real.
We only want real people this year.
I'm a real person.
You are unstable.
Stay away from the set, Agnes, or I will have you arrested.
(door opens, closes) AGNES (shouting): Vile, wretched bastards! Thou dare cast me out of paradise? I am The Butcher Don't turn around.
Jesus, she's completely insane.
You really think that a restraining order's gonna keep her away? God, I hope not.
AGNES: For I am The Butcher! I shall smite thee, limb from limb, the way a falcon tears a rabbit! We have the pleasure to sit down with Lee Harris, of My Roanoke Nightmare fame, to talk about rumors of another installment of the surprise hit of last season.
Yes, there will be a second season called Return to Roanoke.
And I can confirm that I've signed on the dotted line to be on the show.
There's a lot of speculation about the reasons you've agreed to do the second season.
It's simple.
I'm not gonna have them drag my name through the mud without being there to defend myself.
You're aware there's a petition online to have you indicted for murder? Yes.
It's ridiculous and hurtful.
My mother-in-law is suing me to gain custody of my daughter, Flora.
That's the real Roanoke nightmare.
But you admit that you've benefited financially.
You've received a seven-figure book-- I'm a single mother working to better my family's situation.
Is that so hard to understand? My question is, knowing what I know, we put Lee on the show, are we in any way liable? What if she kills again? Legally, you're on solid ground.
We've got an airtight release of liability on the contract everybody signed.
There's no way the court can hold you accountable.
I'm less concerned with Lee Harris, and more concerned with the actress who played her, Monet Tumusiime.
Her representatives have advised us that she has been in and out of treatment for alcoholism.
So that means that the network and production cannot knowingly provide alcohol to her.
That could conceivably make us liable.
Okay alcohol is the secret sauce to reality shows.
The key word here is "knowingly.
" If she's a real alcoholic, she's gonna find a drink on her own.
Let me get this straight.
We would get in more trouble for slipping a drink to Monet than if Lee actually murdered somebody? Yes.
Just to be safe, you might want to double that liability insurance we have to just protect ourselves.
You got it.
Uh, we've got a major problem on the set.
(brakes squeal) Jesus Christ.
Alissa, Alissa, what happened? (whispers) Shit.
MACK (on screen): See, if you mount the wide-angle here, you'll not only get the east side of the house, but a nice wide of the hot tub.
(screaming) (man's screams continue) (screaming) Greg! Shit! You the union rep? Yeah.
What's protocol? Are you shutting us down? Because, clearly, this was an accident.
Even in an accident, we usually like to give the crew a day or so to recover from stuff like this.
But it's your call.
What time does the cast get here? Oh, I-- Planes start landing in four hours.
We're gonna keep going.
You can't be serious.
Sid, Sid, someone just died.
It was a horrific accident, but shit happens! "Shit happens"? That's what you have to say? You saw that video.
That wasn't just random.
Yeah, I know, I saw it.
It was traumatic.
No, you aren't listening to me! Shh! Listen.
Get off! Do you even care that we just lost a crew member? Do I-- Something terrifying is happening with this place.
Okay, I assure you, okay, I am upset, too.
But we have come too far to end this before it even starts.
Okay, you're letting your imagination cloud your judgment.
(scoffs) Take a breath.
You know what? I'm done.
Diana-- D, come on.
No, (bleep) you, Sidney.
Like, you might think everything's fine, but I'm not spending one more second in this goddamn place.
You're really doing this right now? D, come on.
You are so overreacting.
(engine revs) Did you get that? (beep) It's 2:15 on Wednesday, the 12th, and this video will serve as evidence of what really went down on set today.
'Cause I know Sidney's gonna make me look like a crazy bitch.
But too much creepy shit has been happening for me not to say anything.
God, Sid-- Sid may not see it, but I know something freaky is happening at that place.
And you know, I would rather look like a crazy bitch than get killed trying to make this show.
(tires screech) (brakes squeal) What the fuck? I have no intention of finding out who that is.
Oh, God.
This place gives me the creeps.
(screams, crashes) Hello.
(chuckles) Hello, I'm Audrey Tindall, no relation to the Tindalls of the Princess Royal, unfortunately.
And this is my first confessional.
You know me as the reenactor playing the role of Shelby on My Roanoke Nightmare.
And I know a lot of fans are always really surprised when they first hear me speak, because I have an English accent.
MATT: Where are you taking us? Safety.
Where do these tunnels lead? I thought the hillbillies built them.
I built them.
Oh! Oh! Oh! You okay? Oh, God, that really hurt.
Can we get some lights in here, please? Cut! A medic! Oh, God! RORY (chuckling): Yeah.
RORY: You all right? Yes, I'm fine.
Okay, back to one everybody! AUDREY: It's just so bloody dark in here.
I know.
I made the mistake of looking right into the flame, and then, you know, the rest of the world went dark.
(laughs) Oh, that's funny to you? It's just your accent.
It's hilarious.
I l-love listening to it.
I could listen to it all day.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you hey, um Would you, actually, think about ever having dinner with me, maybe? (chuckles) With you? Yeah.
Just a light bite or something coffee.
Coffee, anything.
I just what, just so you can hear me speak? Well, yeah Maybe a little more than that.
(laughing): Okay.
(laughs) Right, are we ready? So, I have a bit of news to share (bad Cockney accent): Hello, I'm Rory Monahan.
I'm an also an ex-Brit actor on My Roanoke Nightmare.
Oh, darling, this is supposed to be private.
Uh, I'm sorry, I'm just a lovely little chimney sweep! No! Absolutely not.
That's terrible.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to interrupt.
I really don't.
Suck it, (bleep)! We're hitched.
Hey! (laughs) Mm.
Whoo! Yeah! (chuckles) Well, he is a whirlwind, that one.
Isn't he? Who could have guessed that a woman of a certain age could have landed such a handsome young stud? MAN: At this time, Audrey and Rory would like to share their vows of love.
AUDREY: Rory, darling.
Love has always been a mystery to me.
Like a tune whistling through the air.
I could hear snatches of it.
Be moved by its melody, but it always eluded my grasp.
But you heard my voice and I heard yours.
For all you have given me, I make these vows.
I promise to love you loyally and fiercely, for as long as I shall live.
RORY: Audrey, you are red and blue.
You are the color of the sun.
(laughs) So bright, and hot! (laughter) So hot! Sorry, Mom.
I promise to eternally, forever, love the shit out of you.
(laughs) (Audrey gasps) Yeah! Ooh! AUDREY: First ones here, best room.
(Rory beatboxing) Oh, this is where I had my first on-camera love scene.
And second.
(giggling) And third.
And fourth.
(phone buzzing) And phone.
Phone Who is it? Herro? (gasps) No Hang on, hang on.
They want me to go back to L.
and do a screen test.
(chuckling): Oh, my God! Oh! Rory, you you can't do that.
You're contracted to be here for the duration of the show.
Who's more important? Sidney Aaron James, or Brad Pitt? I'm not at all concerned that he'll be, for six months, on some distant location.
We trust each other, implicitly.
Sidney will be here in a minute.
You just explain to him why you have to leave.
RORY: Don't say anything, okay? (chuckles) I'll have my agent handle You will Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you see that? I didn't see anything, no.
On the other side of the window.
Sweetheart, don't change the subject! Really! No, no, no, there was a shadow.
AUDREY: You have to tell him.
(they both scream) AUDREY: Oh, my God! Was that Agnes? Yes! Oh, my God.
Bloody Hell! RORY: Shit! (yells) H-Hey! RORY: Did you do this? What? Agnes is here! Yes! She was No Yes! What the (bleep)! Agnes is here.
She was torturing me.
I mean, I won't go through this again.
I really won't.
She's really that crazy? I-I mean, I heard about the Hollywood Yes, she's totally mental.
Absolutely crackers.
(Agnes shouting, banging) SIDNEY: We've searched the grounds, and there is no sign of Agnes anywhere.
If she shows up again, we will get the police involved.
I promise you.
I don't want to stay here.
It's okay.
I really don't.
She's gone, baby.
She's gone.
You're safe now.
She could terrify me.
Oh, come on.
Don't do that.
I'm serious.
You two.
I-I wanted to say congratulations.
It's it's nice to see that something good actually came out of this show.
Some cosmic balance in play.
I lost a husband, but you gained one.
MONET: Hear, hear.
It's never too late for love.
"Too late"? What do you mean? When is it "too late"? When your heart ossifies? When your vagina exsiccates No, I mean into an ancient artifact? I was Or is it just any woman over the age of 29? What do you mean? I was I was talking about I was talking about myself.
(door opens) MONET: Hey! SIDNEY: Hi, guys! Come on in.
The party's hoppin'.
MONET: I don't get this.
You're taking our phones and giving us phones? Well, these phones have been disabled.
Only the camera works.
We want you to help document life in the house for the next three days.
Really put yourself in the audience's point of view.
As you all know, America fell in love with two Shelbys, two Matts and two Lees.
And Edward! And Ed How could I forget? (laughter) SIDNEY: And we brought you back together to see if magic will strike a second time.
Just do you.
It's what America wants to see.
And if something happens to go bump in the night, let's be sure and capture it.
One last thing before I leave you to it.
Lee, we're gonna put you upstairs in your old room with Monet.
Matt, you're gonna be with Shelby.
Uh, wait Wait, that's not gonna work.
I could take the basement.
Well, the whole house is camera ready so sleep wherever you want.
Hey, Matt, maybe we can talk about this later.
LEE: Shelby, leave him be.
You have every right to be upset - I deserve it - My brother doesn't need your permission to be upset.
He's been doing just fine without you.
All right, Lee, that's enough.
LEE: He's too nice to say this, but you are a weak, self-involved little girl who does whatever you want without giving a damn about the carnage you reap.
You destroyed Matt but that wasn't enough.
Thanks to your reckless bullshit, everybody thinks I'm a cold-blooded murderer.
It was a goddamn mistake.
Jesus, I am so sick of you holding that over my head, I don't I don't know how many more ways I can apologize to you.
I'm done.
I'm done being punished for being human.
Matt, it was one time, I swear to you.
It was one time.
I was lonely I was completely out of my mind.
Just let me I swear Fiery and pathetic.
That's exactly how I played her.
Nailed it.
(laughs) I completely You know.
(Monet clears throat) (sniffles) Your room's upstairs, to the Yeah.
Good night.
MONET: It didn't look like they were playing for the camera.
I mean, she looked really upset.
You thought so? I did.
You didn't? I thought he was a little much.
Well I think it's always better to underplay these things, you know, if that's where you're gonna go.
Americans are always so dramatic.
Yeah, them tears looked real.
(chuckles) AUDREY: I'll tell you what isn't real.
Their ridiculous story.
Ugh! Otherwise, why would they ever set foot back in this house? We shot here for eight weeks, You got a point.
nothing happened.
No ghost pilgrims, or people jerky.
(laughter) Hello.
Hey, bro.
MATT: What, uh What time of year was that? Summer? - Yeah.
It was summer.
- -ish? - Ah.
Look out the window.
(water running) Ooh! (chuckles softly) Sorry! Here we go.
(Audrey clears throat) (gasps) What're we looking at here? MONET (mocking): A full moon? Nearly full.
The blood moon is coming.
Is that bad? (laughter) RORY: Should we call somebody? (laughter continues) (Rory chuckling) AUDREY: What are you doing? This is gonna be so hot.
(passionate moaning) (sighs) (glass clinks) (breathes into glass) (sighs) Come back.
I'm gonna take a shower and I want you to join me.
I'll be in in two minutes.
All right.
(Rory moans) I mean it, hurry.
Okay, I'm coming.
(kitchen utensils clatter) (footsteps) This is ridiculous, Matt.
You don't want to sleep down here.
Just come upstairs, talk to me.
I won't let you shut me out anymore.
I'm I am still your wife.
(scoffs) Should not have come back.
You know what this place is, you know what happens here.
No, it's different this time.
There are more of us, and Sidney's got cameras all over the house.
Nobody's gonna let us get hurt.
You're smarter than that, Shelby.
It will happen again.
I don't know if we'll survive this time.
Oh I wouldn't have guessed you and I had anything in common.
Gotta say, I never did see the resemblance.
I ain't got nothing in common with you.
I can smell the booze from here.
I'm not judging you.
It's hard going that road alone.
Do you wanna talk to someone about it? I'm a drunk because of you, you murdering bitch! I had to live in your head for months.
I know how you think.
But how you live with yourself, killing the father of your child, hmm? That's how you played me.
Those people on the street who yell "murderer" at me, they're not seeing me.
They're seeing the person you chose to put on the screen.
SHELBY: Let's leave.
Matt, you and me.
(sniffles) Right now, we can just-- we can walk out the door.
Hey, I just want to go home.
(banging on door) Shelby, hey.
Uh Gotta say it felt nice to finally meet Dominic in person.
SHELBY: Matt, Matt! Matt Matt! (distant shouting) Matt Stop it! Stop it! (both women shouting) Matt Hey, hang on (overlapping shouting) You're good! I mean (panting) Welcome home, huh? Whew.
(bleep) you, Sidney! (bleep) you, mother(bleep)er! (hinges creaking) Rory? (glass squeaking) (screaming) (screaming continues) Babe? AUDREY: Oh, my God! What? Oh, my God! What? Are you okay? Oh, my God! You okay? What happened? What happened? (bleep) Sidney! What happened? He sent someone up to scare me.
He was just standing there when I got out of the shower.
(sobbing): Oh, my God! Will you take care of her? Yes, of course.
Please don't go up there.
Do not go.
That asshole! Hey, girl.
Hi, Dominic.
When did you get here? You okay, baby? You all right? He's the worst person ever.
Why would he do that? (bleep) you, Sidney! (gasps, grunts) Thank you.
I can't believe Sidney would pull some bullshit like this.
Oh, please! He doesn't actually believe any of this haunting nonsense is real.
No offense.
"R" is for "Rory.