American Vandal (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

Premature Theories

-[banister clangs.]
-[Peter.]
Oh.
Hi.
-[Joan.]
You're Peter Maldonado? -Yeah.
The one who's making this American Vandal thing? Yeah, yeah, it's a documentary.
-Thank you so much for taking the time-- -Yeah, so, we've had, um, hundreds of phone calls, all hours of the night, about some Kiefer Sutherland message on my father's answering machine? That's why I'm here.
Any way I could get the tape? -I would be really grateful.
-The tape? Oh, I This one? -Yes.
Yes.
-Tape? -Thank you so mu-- -This tape This tape is now trash.
So, you can tell everyone to stop calling, because it's harassment.
[Peter.]
The theory that Dylan did the dicks to win back Mackenzie makes sense.
Out of anyone with access to the security footage, Dylan still seems the most likely.
So, more than ever, he needed good news.
That's why watching Mrs.
Janson destroy the Kiefer Sutherland voicemail was such a punch to the gut.
If we'd heard Dylan on that voicemail, it would've given him a solid alibi.
Mrs.
Janson destroyed the tape because she claims she felt harassed.
And I can't help but feel responsible for that.
I started posting the documentary a few weeks ago.
And almost immediately, people started getting involved.
It comes down to this.
If I hadn't uploaded the doc, then that tape would still exist.
But it's lost forever, because American Vandal has gone viral.
-Dylan, I got some news.
-[Dylan.]
What's up? [Peter.]
I went to Mr.
Janson's house and, um, his daughter answered the door and she destroyed the voicemail.
[sighs.]
Fuck, dude.
Fuck.
[Peter.]
It's okay, man.
You have a lot of people believing in you now.
You should see the school.
It's crazy.
[Spencer on video.]
It's either Dylan or Kiefer Sutherland.
Kiefer Sutherland's, like, a super-rich actor.
You know, why would he be prank-calling some old guy? Okay, medium.
There you go.
Have a good one.
The documentary is killing it right now.
What, you have hundreds of thousands of views or something? [man on video.]
This isn't about dicks.
This is a commentary on the justice system and how it's failed everyone.
When you were making it, I thought it was gonna be like You were just gonna show it to kids in the school.
Between me and you, I didn't know it'd go viral.
We lost Pizza Hut, and Jack in the Box.
I'm the off-campus lunch guy, is what they call me.
It's really cool.
People buy my lunch.
Our YouTube channel? Skyrocketing right now, man.
We had 260 subscribers.
Now it's, like, pushing 700.
Kind of wish I hadn't, heh, said some of the stuff that I said.
You know, I'm not gonna say one of my students is unbelievably hot But, oh, my God, dude.
Man, that's like-- I really wish I hadn't said a lot of that stuff.
[Peter.]
I have to admit, it's a lot for me to process.
No one ever listened to me when I hosted the Morning Show, but everyone is listening now.
Pete.
People love American Vandal, dude.
-[Peter.]
I know, man.
It's crazy.
-[Gabi.]
Hi.
[man 1.]
Honestly, I think Sam's being soft.
[man 2.]
You say soft.
I think Peter went a little too far.
If I were Sam, I'd have reacted the same way.
You're his best friend.
I think-- I don't think that it is that farfetched that-- I mean, Sam, he did have motive.
He did have access.
I just don't-- I don't-- [Sam.]
You're fine if I tell the school you're in love with Ashley Hanson, you're fine with that? Cool, thanks.
Or how about I tell everyone that you jerk off to American Apparel catalogs, huh? How does that feel, Peter? Does that feel nice? [boy.]
Yo, this kid jerks off to the American Apparel catalog.
[Peter.]
No, it doesn't feel nice.
But some of the show's popularity is pretty cool, I'm not gonna lie.
Hey, Peter, do you think I could do an interview, too? [Peter.]
Everyone wants to be involved, with interviews, new information, new theories.
Some of it's helpful.
-What are you filming? -Yeah, where's Sam? -[Peter.]
Most of it isn't.
-Peter.
Peter, Baxter did it.
[Peter.]
Free Dylan is now a movement.
Even though he's not allowed at school to see it, Dylan is feeling the love back at home, as well.
"Our boy Dylan, you are the motherfucking man.
Stay strong, bro.
Your biggest fan.
" I think there was, like, some Facebook group with my address in it.
People have just been sending me all these letters and shit, of, like, pictures of dicks.
And there's, like, a bunch of vaginas, too.
Look at that shit.
Look how skinny this vagina is.
This one's, like sad vag? This one's more of, like, a shocked vagina.
A lot of them have hair, you know, in honor of my drawings.
The ladies just kind of love me, I guess.
[Peter.]
I got a bunch of e-mails myself.
Oh, vaginas? [Peter.]
No, no, no, I just got a bunch of fan theories.
Hashtag "who drew the dicks" is trending on Twitter.
-Really? -Yeah.
Uh, hashtag "Sara Pearson did it," hashtag "the janitor did it," which I didn't even think about.
Dick deniers? Yo, these people are saying there was never any dicks and it was just Photoshop.
You think about that? [Peter.]
Well, I mean people were there, they saw the dicks, so I mean, I didn't see them.
-Did you see them? -[Peter.]
It was on the news.
Over the past two weeks, I've received dozens of theories about who drew the dicks.
I'm not gonna bore you with all of them, but here are few high-trending theories.
The most popular theory by far is that Alex Trimboli drew the dicks.
People have actually been mean about it.
"It's obvious Trimboli drew the dicks.
Why aren't you looking into Trimboli?" How come no one's looking into that? Ever heard of "whoever smelt it dealt it"? [Peter.]
Well, here's why.
The security footage in the parking lot was deleted between two and 2:30.
But the security cameras inside were running the whole time.
We see Alex here at 2:13, getting books from his locker.
Then here at 2:15, running to alert the teachers.
So, unless Trimboli has some sort of superhuman speed, we can rule this one out.
Next we have Mr.
Baxter.
The teacher in charge of the Morning Show should be considered a suspect.
It makes sense.
Mr.
Baxter does have access to the security footage, and a potential motive to lash out against the school.
It's rumored he's being pushed into early retirement.
Mr.
Baxter, where were you on March 15th, specifically between two and 2:30? Okay, okay.
I was running the slide show during the faculty meeting.
[Peter.]
This is a solid alibi.
And even if he is lying, I just don't think Mr.
Baxter could've done it.
Could he have deleted the security footage? Yes.
But could he have drawn 27 dicks in 8.
1 minutes? No.
He's too fat.
Another trending theory is that the janitor did it.
He did mysteriously discover the spray paint can at the scene of the crime, but most people are focusing on the fact that he looks creepy AF.
Yeah, that dude's sketchy.
Not just like janitor sketchy, but like murder sketchy.
Yeah, he's fucking weird, man.
Have you seen him? Yeah, he You guys gotta look into that guy.
That guy might've pulled some shit.
[Peter.]
Do you remember where you were on March 15th? [Montegro.]
I know I was nowhere near those cars.
I was dealing with a clog in the shower.
And a nasty one, too.
Like, so much hair.
[Peter.]
Vice Principal Keene backed up his alibi.
And a quick trip to the boys' locker room revealed tangible evidence.
Here's an even crazier one.
Sara Pearson.
Her motive varies, depending on who you ask.
Some say she snapped after getting asked to Spring Fling by too many freshmen.
Others claim that she was angry about the school's new wardrobe policy, which banned crop tops.
But motives aside, most people agree that her hairless dick-drawing style was based on the penis of her ex-boyfriend, swim team captain Scott Winter.
So, to put this one to rest, I went straight to the source, Scott's penis.
I just wanna know if you, like, you know-- If you-- If you're, like, clean-- If you-- Oh! [Scott.]
Is that what you wanna see? [Peter.]
I can confirm that he matched the parking lot dicks.
And while I can't entirely dismiss this strange theory, I think I may have figured out who's clogging the showers.
Not to mention, Sara's alibi is rock-solid.
She was down in San Diego with her family, so, I'm not buying this fan theory.
And that goes for most of these.
They're outlandish.
There may be some truth to them.
Like Mr.
Baxter did have access to the security footage.
The janitor does look pretty creepy.
Scott Winter shaves his pubes.
But there's one fan theory that stands out from the rest.
One that doesn't involve Mr.
Kraz, or the ghost of Joey Themelis.
The theory is that Dylan didn't act alone.
The Wayback Boys helped Dylan plan the prank at the kegger at Rachel Balducci's grandmother's house, known commonly as Nana's party.
Multiple people said they heard it.
And I have to admit, when this one started popping up, my heart dropped, because it makes sense.
Dylan was going off about the dicks with the Wayback Boys at Nana's party.
I, for sure, heard the word "dick" at least more than once, and it seemed really strange that a bunch of dudes were just talking about dicks that intensely.
Now looking back on it, it's pretty clear, they were planning the vandalism.
Tank Top Todd can back me up.
I was chilling, Dylan and the Wayback Boys were right there, and I overheard them talking about the vandalism.
I was only two beers deep, so, I know it was about the dicks.
[Peter.]
You've heard about Nana's party before.
It's where Alex Trimboli claimed to drink 11 beers.
I had 11 beers.
[Peter.]
It's where Brandon made his promposal to Gabi.
Babe, will you go to prom with me? [both laughing.]
[Peter.]
And it's where Mackenzie dumped Dylan three days before the vandalism.
[boy.]
Yo, Nana's party was insane.
Yes! Lit as fuck, man.
There was titties, beer, a lot of candy.
Dudes were dressing up in Nana's clothes.
Like, mad props to Rachel for fucking ruining her nana's house like that.
'Cause we destroyed that place, dude.
I just feel so bad for Rachel Balducci's grandma, like, seriously.
Her house is fucked.
[chuckles.]
It's fucked.
[Peter.]
Nana's party was all over social media.
Ari's sister brought weed from Vermont.
Ryan Gould drank a fifth of vodka.
Julia Perez wasn't wearing a bra.
And she shit on the floor.
Everyone from school was there.
Well, everyone but me and Sam.
[Todd.]
Well, Mackenzie broke up with Dylan in front of everybody, and that really fucked his shit up.
So, he met up with his homeys, and I feel like right then and there, that's when the dicks were born.
[Peter.]
It's the Dylan-and-Mackenzie breakup that's really concerning to me.
It happened three days before the vandalism.
And we know Dylan has a history of doing outrageous things to win Mackenzie back.
So, it would make sense that Dylan's inspiration to draw the dicks originated from the breakup at Nana's party.
To me, this isn't just another fan theory.
This one could be legit.
All right, I gotta take a shit.
-[Lucas.]
Just use my bathroom.
-I gotta go to Priceless Moments.
[Peter.]
Now, we know the Wayback Boys couldn't have drawn the dicks, because we have footage of them at Lucas' house during the time of the vandalism.
They could have conspired to help Dylan by giving him an alibi.
The boys all deny planning the dicks at Nana's.
But we have hundreds of videos of the party, and if just one of them has footage of them plotting the vandalism well, that's pretty much it for Dylan.
Tank Top Todd claims he heard the Wayback Boys planning the prank on the couch by the stairs.
From a video at 10:51 p.
m.
, we can see Dylan and the Wayback Boys exactly where Todd said they were.
That cell phone video taken from the kitchen is the first evidence we have of the conversation where they allegedly planned the dicks.
And it proves that a conversation did take place.
At 10:56, they're still on the couch.
Again, we can't really hear what they're saying.
[chattering.]
-It's Ming's first beer, okay? -[boy.]
No.
[all chanting.]
Ming, Ming, Ming.
Ming, Ming, Ming.
Ming, Ming, Ming [all cheering and laughing.]
[boy.]
I thought you guys [Peter.]
But there's enough we can do with audio manipulation and lip-reading to make some Let's call them educated guesses.
Ming, Ming, Ming.
[boy.]
Yo, come on.
[Peter.]
Behind all the excitement of Ming's first beer we can hear Spencer loudly talking about something epic.
[muffled dialogue.]
Ten fifty-nine, from behind the couch, they're still talking.
-[girl.]
Come here.
Come look at this.
-[boy.]
Hey.
[Peter.]
They're focused.
It does look like they're planning something.
[boy.]
Nana's home! [Peter.]
This time we're closer.
We can see Dylan talking to Lucas, Spencer, and Ganj.
He says something about Tuesday.
[girl.]
Come here.
Come look at this.
[Dylan.]
Tuesday, though? Okay.
[boy.]
Nana's home! [Peter.]
The Tuesday after Nana's party is March 15th, the day of the vandalism.
Hold up.
Are we for sure thinking Tuesday, though? [Peter.]
Eleven-oh-two, a few minutes later, Max Goldblum and Anthony Bianchi film Nick Cotterman trying to get his head from out of the banister.
I'm stuck.
I'm fucking stuck.
-Can you go get me some fucking butter? -[boy 1.]
I'm on it.
Come on.
[boy 2.]
No.
Fucking like that.
[Peter.]
From Max's phone, we can see the Wayback Boys.
From Anthony's phone, we can hear them.
It's brief, but it's damning.
-[Dylan.]
So what, dude? -[Spencer.]
If the cops show up, we just run, fucking run.
[Peter.]
"If the cops show up, we just run.
" Eleven-oh-four, Blake Wexler walks through the party trying to get people to kiss for Facebook Live.
[guitar music playing.]
[Blake.]
Hey, guys, it's the kiss cam.
You gotta kiss.
[all cheering.]
Kiss cam.
[boy.]
Yeah.
There's gotta be, like The first one's gonna be-- -[Blake.]
Kiss cam.
-Get the fu-- [Peter.]
When he goes to Ganj and Lucas, we can hear her for a moment.
[Blake.]
Kiss cam.
-[Dylan.]
Yeah.
-[Lucas.]
Gotta be like -The first one's gonna be fucking key-- -[Blake.]
Kiss ca-- [Peter.]
"The first one is going to be key.
" It's clear that they're still planning something on the couch, while Pat Micklewaite talks to Julia Perez and Allie Cabrera.
Which also means that Pat Micklewaite was invited to this party.
So, good for Pat, I guess.
Anyway, the last time we clock Dylan is at 11:07 from Brad Henson's phone as he films towards the couch.
[shouting and chattering.]
[Dylan.]
I don't know.
[Peter.]
This one is tough to hear, but what Dylan says is very important.
[Dylan.]
Yeah, I hope we don't kill him.
[Peter.]
"I hope we don't kill him.
" I've thought about this one a lot, trying to interpret it in a dozen different ways.
But to me, the only context that makes sense refers to Mr.
Janson.
As in, "I hope we don't kill him," the old man, by giving him a heart attack.
And everything we hear from them on the couch applies to them prepping for the Mr.
Janson prank calls.
-[boy.]
Hey! -[Spencer.]
Dude, epic, man.
Let's do it.
-[Peter.]
Both pranks are epic.
-[girl.]
Come here.
Come look at this.
[Dylan.]
Are we for sure thinking Tuesday, though? [Brianna.]
Yeah, we are.
[Peter.]
They both take place on that next Tuesday.
[Lucas.]
If the cops show up, we just run.
Fucking run.
[Peter.]
Both pranks are, well, illegal.
[Brianna.]
And the first one's gonna be fucking key.
[Peter.]
"The first one is key," that could refer to the first car or the first prank call.
[Dylan.]
Shit, man, I hope we don't kill him.
[Peter.]
But, "I hope we don't kill him"? They must be talking about Janson.
I've heard him say stuff like that before.
We got Janson so bad.
Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't die.
Yeah.
[Peter.]
I spend days searching through the footage of Nana's party, looking for a single shot of the Wayback Boys talking about the dicks.
Just one clip could have ended this whole thing.
I didn't find the evidence I was looking for.
But the evidence I did find could change everything.
On the right is a police photo of the spray paint can found in the staff parking lot on the day of the vandalism.
On the left is a freeze frame from a cell phone video from Nana's party.
Note the red cap and the black label with the blue trim.
I, uh I saw all the spray-painted cars, and so, I went looking around and I saw the spray paint can in the trash.
So, I picked it out, gave it to the police.
[Peter.]
This brand, Crimpton, was discontinued in 1996.
Twenty years later, it's nearly impossible to find.
So, I think it's safe to say, the can that was used to draw the dicks came from Nana's party.
This is big.
[Sam on voicemail.]
Hey, you've reached Sam Ecklund, a.
k.
a.
Ketchup Packet.
Sorry I missed your call.
I'll call you back, or, you know, just text me.
It'll probably be easier.
Hey, Sam, it's Peter.
Um, I got evidence that you may be interested in, so, give me a call when you get a chance.
That'd be great.
I'd love to fill you in.
Okay, bye.
I told Sam that we had some evidence.
That's a bit of an undersell.
This is the Holy Grail, the murder weapon.
Sam hadn't been responding to any of my calls or texts since the argument, but he wouldn't be able to resist seeing this new evidence.
I was going through some of the footage from Nana's party.
-Yeah? -And I found something that you're You're gonna wanna see.
Sorry things went like that the other day.
Hey, don't be weird, all right? We're good.
All right, look at that.
-Oh, shit, that's the same can.
-Yeah.
But who's the person on the banister? [Peter.]
Pay attention to the shirt.
[Sam.]
No way.
No way.
Hold on, hold on, wait, wait.
Are you serious? Oh, my good God.
That is too good.
That's too perfect.
He's totally the type of person Brandon, we both know that you're not the type of guy to do something like this.
But I'm just wondering if-- Is this you in this video? -I just need the butter, please.
-[boy.]
Come on.
-Talk to him.
-[girl.]
Yeah.
Dude, I took a can from Nana's shed for the promposal, but I didn't draw dicks, or whatever you're talking about.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, I'm not-- [Sam chuckles.]
I'm not accusing you of that.
No, I was just wondering if you-- -Do you know how the cans got to school? -No.
I mean, there were other cans in the shed.
This was plastic-wrapped to another can.
You can check the shed if you don't believe me.
Yeah, it was pretty crazy.
Everyone bounced so fast.
-[Sam.]
Really? -Remember the cops came? -[Peter.]
Uh, no, we weren't there.
-Yeah.
-Really? -[Peter.]
Yeah.
Was it locked during the party? I think somebody broke it.
Here.
That's it.
[Peter.]
Wait, don't pick it up.
There could be fingerprints on there.
All right, it's too late for that now.
Fingerprints? We don't have-- [Peter.]
Here's what we know.
The spray paint can came from Nana's shed, and while we can't place Dylan with the can, we have a video of Brandon clearly holding it.
But Brandon denies leaving with the can.
[Brandon.]
I didn't take that can home.
The only thing I took home that night was I took Gabi home.
Why don't you ask her? Yeah, no, I will.
I will.
[Sam.]
He's telling the truth about where he got the can, but doesn't mean he didn't take the can home and draw the dicks.
Sam, I get it.
You hate Brandon.
[Sam.]
I don't hate Brandon.
I think if he did the dicks, he's letting it all fall on Dylan.
That's pretty fucked-up of him.
That's it.
I was with him, okay? He asked me to prom, and then we went home to my house, and he didn't have the can.
And on the day of the vandalism, we were also at my house.
So, if Brandon didn't leave the party with the can, who did? [Peter.]
Pretty much what I did is I took all the footage from Nana's party that was time-stamped, -and I created a timeline using it.
-Okay.
I used that same footage to create a timeline of the journey of the can throughout the party.
There are a few holes in both timelines, but the entire night is accounted for.
Awesome.
When's the first time we clock the can? Um, at 11:02 when Brandon goes into the shed.
[Peter.]
It's right here.
As John Harrahan plays guitar on the patio, we clock Brandon breaking into the shed.
The next time we see the can is on the stairs.
Presumably, he's coming back from the master bathroom, where he grabbed one of Nana's towels.
He goes outside to spray-paint the towel.
[Brandon.]
Bro, I think Gabi is expecting one of those fucking lame promposals.
[boy.]
What you got? What are you gonna do? -I'll show you what I'm gonna do.
-[boy.]
What? -I'll show you.
-[boy.]
All right, what? [Peter.]
This video is time-stamped at 11:10.
-Okay, hold on.
-[boy.]
All right.
-Yeah.
It's hot.
-Technical difficulties.
-One moment, please.
-[boy.]
She's gonna love it.
Ah! Gabi.
I or Y? -[boy.]
It's an I, you fucking idiot.
-I know how to spell my girlfriend's name.
-Do you? Okay.
-I'm fucking with you.
[boy.]
That's a master -[Peter.]
He tosses the can.
-That's how you win prom king.
[Peter.]
And it lands in the bushes behind him.
All right, everybody.
Hottest Nanas 2016 right here.
-[all cheering.]
-Competition right now.
[Peter.]
For the next 30 minutes, Mike Bertha, James Snyder and Chris McFarland parade around in Nana's clothes for the Hottest Nana competition.
We see the can is still in the bushes here at 11:35.
It's still there at 11:41, and we catch another glimpse at 11:52.
Just seven minutes later This is Ming's ninth beer! -Come on, Ming! -[all chanting.]
Ming! Ming! Ming! -You got it, bud.
-Ming! Ming! Ming! -Ming! Ming! Ming! -[boy.]
Oh, shit.
Yo.
[all cheering.]
[Peter.]
As Ming funnels another beer, Julia Perez notices the can -[boy 1.]
No way.
-[boy 2.]
Yeah! [Peter.]
and brings it into the gazebo.
The can stays on the bar for only three minutes as Julia uses it to crush up some Adderall.
You think you're gonna puke? Alex Trimboli.
Look.
Dude, I'm fucked up, man.
It's crazy.
-This your first time? -[Ming.]
Yeah.
First time you're-- Yeah.
Dude, it's fucked up the first time.
Isn't that the same beer he was drinking earlier? -How do you know? -Look at the label.
[girl.]
Come over here! Wait, let me try.
Well, she took it down to the barbecue.
-Dude, that is the same label.
-It is? Same exact beer.
If that really is his first beer, it's another example of the school board's key witness lying for attention.
The most drunk anyone at our high school's ever been in their life.
At 12:04, Matt Zordich tries spraying Carl Wolf.
-[spray can hisses.]
-[laughter.]
Nothing comes out.
-[Matt.]
You're lucky the can won't spray.
-[Peter.]
So, he places it on this column.
Rachel Balducci best party ever, man.
[Peter.]
It's still there 30 minutes later when Jimmy Arizini toasts Rachel Balducci.
[boy.]
Oh, shit, the cops are here.
[Ming.]
Fuck the police! [Peter.]
At 1 a.
m.
the cops come, break up the party, and it's gone.
So, someone who was in Nana's backyard between 12:41 and 1:02 a.
m.
took the can.
And it's likely that, three days later, that same someone drew 27 dicks on 27 cars in the staff parking lot.
As the school year winds down and Dylan Maxwell's criminal hearing approaches, the videos from Nana's party allowed us to narrow our pool of suspects.
More importantly, it led Sam to our biggest theory yet.
-[Gabi.]
Hey.
-Oh, hi.
-How are you? -Good.
-Here you go.
-Thank you very much.
Um Okay.
Can you hold this for me right there on that corner? Right there.
Splatter, right there.
-[Peter.]
Yeah, that is splatter.
-Yeah.
Okay.
So, you know how in the videos, everyone has a super hard time using the can? They have to shake 20 times? -Yeah? -Because the can's old.
It's, like, 1993.
-They stopped making it in '96.
-[Peter.]
Let me see the towel.
Stopped selling it the same year.
[Peter.]
Using the identical can we borrowed from Nana's shed, we ran a ballistics test.
And Sam's theory was right.
[hissing.]
Nothing comes out.
That's me pressing as hard as I can.
Go ahead, try.
-Ditto.
-Nothing comes out, right? [Peter.]
Every time the can sat for more than ten minutes, we had to shake it again.
And if the can wasn't primed, it splattered.
Which means the first car vandalized on March 15th would have splatter on it.
Here, look, you can see it perfectly in the video.
-See, right here he's shaking the can.
-[boy.]
There you go.
That's what I'm talking about.
[Sam.]
Right there.
Right there you can see the splatter.
-[Peter.]
Yeah, that's splatter.
-[Sam.]
You see? [Peter.]
So, the first car hit would have splatter.
Take a look at the dick on Ms.
Shapiro's car.
All of the lines, the shaft, the balls, they're clean.
No splatter.
Her car couldn't have been the first one hit.
Mr.
Maxwell targeted my vehicle.
It makes logical sense.
If you have a vendetta against someone, and a limited amount of time, wouldn't you strike your target first? [Peter.]
But maybe Shapiro wasn't entirely wrong.
Is it possible the first vehicle hit could be the vandal's target? By identifying the car with splatter, we'll hopefully identify the true victim, and from that, we can unearth who drew the dicks.
This is our best lead yet, and it leaves me wondering, if Shapiro wasn't the target then who was?
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