An Idiot Abroad (2010) s01e04 Episode Script
Mexico
The seven wonders of the world Christ the redeemer.
The Taj Mahal.
The great pyramids.
Truly man's greatest achievements.
But there's one man who sees them differently.
A building like that should be going, "What's been going on?" Karl Pilkington.
I don't know the politically correct term.
Close your mouth.
Moron.
I think he is a round, empty-headed, chimp-like moron.
And he's a friend.
You're not meant to laugh.
You're meant to go, "Ooh.
" He's a typical little englander, and he doesn't like going out of his comfort zone.
I just think that it'd be amazing to send him around the world.
Me eyes have never been so busy.
There's always something there going, "Look at me.
" So you're like that so your neck By the end of today, me neck will be well and truly worn out.
What we'd like to see is him experience other cultures And see if in any way we can change his outlook on the world.
It's like something make an ornament of sort of next to the telly.
I've been to many exotic places.
I genuinely think travel broadens the mind.
I want him to hate it.
Oh.
I want him to hate every minute of it for my own amusement.
Nothing is funnier than Karl in a corner being poked by stick.
I am that stick.
And now I have the might of sky behind me.
Shit! Shit! This is one of the funniest, most expensive practical jokes I've ever done.
And it's gonna be great.
Just let me go! Jesus.
No.
Next up, Karl Chichen Itza in Mexico.
Never heard of it.
No, I know you'll think it looks a little like a pyramid.
Yeah.
Not just about the building, though, is it? Mexico very different to Egypt.
Completely different country on a different continent thousands of miles away.
Used, of course, for human sacrifice back in the day.
Yeah, the death thing is good.
Right.
So as opposed to celebrating life and culture, you want to go around Well, it's more relevant to me than this, isn't it? A pyramid isn't for me, is it? I'm not gonna use a pyramid, but I am gonna die.
But it's not about death.
And the great thing is, Karl, that in a lot of these countries, it's a very high murder rate.
Yeah.
So there's a strong chance that you're one of the group could get killed.
If you've got a building for it It's equivalent of, like, death hill in that if you've got something cold, dark in an area, it encourages it.
Knock it down and say, "Don't do that anymore.
It's bad.
" Well, there you go.
Knock it down.
Well, anyway, you're going.
Get your bags, your passport.
We've got to get you to the airport.
Packing again.
Um This time for Mexico.
I mean, it's the same clothes, really.
It doesn't matter where I'm going.
I've got the same pants, I've got the same t-shirts.
Um, maybe a different flavor crisps.
What crisps have you got? Uh, monster munch pickled onion.
Uh, it's good, soft things like this.
What do you like in that monster munch? It's just a bit there's something about them that cheers you up.
Not only are they tasty You're just having a little monster talk out when you're fed up.
You have one new message.
Hey, Karl.
How are you doing? Karlos? How are you doing, man? I'm all right, yeah.
Call me Karlos, yeah.
That's all right.
Let's go, man.
What's up in there, huh? What's all this? Some [Bleep.]
Crashed me, man.
Some [Bleep.]
Crashed you.
Yeah.
Is this yours? Huh? This dog? Yes.
That's yours? Yeah, this is Jack.
Oh.
Normal.
Is this a little chihuahua? Yes.
Oh.
Que pasa, Jack.
When you first get them, they're tiny, aren't they? Uh-huh.
And a friend of me mum had one, sat on the sea front yeah.
A seagull came down, took it away.
Uh-huh? A seagull bird.
Yes.
Came down, grabbed it, took it out to see, never saw it again.
No No , man.
I know.
Today is the day of the Jesus Christ die.
Let me show you the celebration.
It's a good celebration, man With a lot of romance and Mexican womans and Well, quite funny, man.
I've got a girlfriend.
Nice bod? What? Nice bod? Smart? Nice bod? Nice body? Yeah.
She used to have.
Yeah? But, you know, I'm not having a go.
I used to look better than this.
So I just think, you know, we both sort of lost out a little bit.
Good Um Yeah, they're fine.
I mean it's okay.
I mean, you know, I've never It's good to have a good A good body, you know? Ohh.
Okay, Karlitos.
You want to take this street, you know, along the stone quarries.
This one here? Yeah, the big celebration is over there.
See you later, Edgar.
Ciao.
It seems to be a big deal here easter, whereas at home, it's just you know, "Sir, sir, do you have a chocolate egg?," and he was like, "What?" He had no idea.
They don't have chocolate eggs here.
I mean, for me, that's what easter is.
Take the eggs away, it's You know, what I mean? It's Friday.
He fell over.
I think it's part of the story.
Somebody help him.
Do you know the Bible story? No, I don't know, but surely he wouldn't want someone helping him, would he? That's like saying, "Come on.
I want to see you get crucified.
" Say, "Put it down.
Don't be helping me.
" It's the one time in your life where you don't want help.
They're coming through.
He's got a rush job.
Just what you want, isn't it? Imagine that.
Jesus being taken.
You know, your life's gonna end, you got someone with a recorder.
It's the worst sound going, isn't it? It's the worst instrument, that.
I'd say, "Do it here.
" Bloody hell.
I thought it was a proper accident before when he was walking up and he fell over.
I thought it was a proper trip, and it was.
He's obviously he's leg locked.
But it does sort of ruin the whole sort of Jesus-type image when, you know, someone from St.
John's ambulance is sticking salve on his knee.
You think they're gonna nail him? Not after.
Because they were so concerned about his knee, putting salve on and stuff on it.
I don't they'd do that and say, "All right, give us your hands.
" It'd be a bit, uh be a bit extreme, wouldn't it? They used to do it.
Until 1984, they used to do it with nails.
Here? Yeah.
Well, what sort of a nail do you use for that? I always struggle.
D.
I.
Y.
You just never you never get it right.
I do not know what sort would go through oh.
Obviously, you know, all of this means a lot to these people, doesn't it? Whereas, I've never seen anything like this at home, you know at home, really.
It's a sort of a it's got religion linked to it, but, really, it's just the time of the year for greedy people to feel like they're doing a bit of good.
"Oh, I love Jesus, mate.
You got any eggs?" There wasn't an egg even involved in it.
I don't know the connection between Jesus and an egg.
'Cause he can't be happy with that, can he? If he was his cross on his last breath and someone said, "We're gonna remember you, Jesus.
" And it was like, "Great.
What are you gonna do?" "We're gonna have egg.
" "What? Ugh.
" Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't be chuffed with that.
It's not like this at home, is it easter? You know, my easter weekend, I'm normally stuck watching James Bond or, you know, just nipping out stuff like that, but Somehow I can't see that somehow I can't see that happening here.
Since I've been here, you know, I've sort of been thinking about things that I know about Mexico, which isn't that much, but then I just remember seeing a Mexican jumping bean on "Sesame Street" when I was a kid.
Mexican jumping beans.
What are you laughing at? I told me mum about them, and she was like, "What are you on about?" She ended up buying me some marbles instead.
I've always wanted to see one in real life.
Mexican jumping beans.
Mexican jumping beans.
Have you heard of them? No.
It's like a bean and it jumps about.
Bump-bump, bump-ba-bump.
I don't know if you're meant to eat them.
I don't know if you get them in a food shop or pet shop.
Like a little bean, pop it in your hand.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
Probably be like Heinz beans.
You can get them anywhere at home.
Know Heinz beans? You got no brakes.
SÃ.
How do you brake? SÃ.
Shhh! Brake.
SÃ.
How? SÃ.
No brake.
SÃ.
You might be Mexicans.
You need brakes it's not safe.
SÃ.
Brake.
Oh.
No, I didn't pack anything like that, no.
Wrestling? What's that got to do with the seven wonders? I'm here to see a wonder.
I've had enough practice.
I mean, you know.
You've sort of had me in that lock, so I know.
That's the spirit.
That's the spirit.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I'll see you later.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Are you Sandy? Hello.
Bloody hell.
I'm not doing it in front of a crowd, am I? I'm just getting some training? Yeah, some training.
Yeah.
It's good, isn't it? I'm just about to go and wrestle with the shocker.
I told Susan about it, right? I said, "Don't be hassling me.
I'm about to go wrestling.
" She sent me a text, "Be careful.
How do you use the DVD player?" That's that's good, isn't it? She's not that worried.
Hey! I should introduce you.
Nice to meet you, Karlitos.
Karl.
How are you doing? You're shocker.
I'm shocker.
Very pleased to meet you.
Let me show you around.
You're a lot bigger than I thought.
I thought they would have given me a little fellow to sort of try out with.
Oh, you want a little fellow? How big? This big? Just about like that.
Come here, boy.
Watch.
Ugh! Ughh! Ugh! Aah! Ohh! Ugh! I know it's Ricky that set it up, and it's folly, you know, to him, but this is, like, how accidents happen.
It's like the star of casualty.
You watch that programme, everyone's having fun, it's a party or something.
People are going on a holiday on a bus.
And you know it's all gonna go wrong.
And that's how this feels.
It feels like the star of casualty.
It was just somebody who chokes around.
That could be me out there.
I mean, does he know the full story that I'm here to see the seven wonders? I didn't come here to be trained as a No, he doesn't know that.
Yeah, well, it's You should tell him, really.
Looks better on you.
Wow.
You look just like a wrestler.
Hey, come on.
Squat and then jump, kick your legs Go like that? Yeah, go ahead.
That's all right.
Whoa! Good job! Really? You almost got it.
Okay, we're gonna start with training of wrestling.
Are you ready? Now what have I done there? You'll be okay in a couple of days.
Come on.
Ready? You got to follow the lead, okay? There you go.
See how easy that was? Okay? Can I be you in that one? Come on, you Oh, missed the thing.
Go.
Grab the ropes.
Oh, Good job.
Hold on.
Don't just Oh, I'm going to be sick.
Wait a minute.
You're sick? I'm sick.
Going to throw up? Like this.
Is it normal to feel, like, sick? Ugh! Oh, yeah.
Do you give up? Yeah.
Ohh.
Come on, Karl.
Shocker, I can't.
You see me shaking.
That doesn't do me confidence any good, really, because I thought I was fitter than that.
What do you think Suzanne would say if she saw you now? I'm not wanting to watch this one.
Whatever night this goes on, I'm gonna take her out for something to eat.
"I want to stay in and watch.
" "No, we're going out.
" Somebody said hang out, so, uh, I don't know what I'm going to be doing.
Rick and Steve probably at home doing nothing.
They haven't called up yet and given any instructions, so I'm just gonna have a wander about, see what's going on.
Oh, look here.
Look at the newspapers.
Normally we've got Cheryl Cole on the front of our newspapers.
Yet, here, look.
Fella sort of done in.
Look at that.
They're not scared of death here in Mexico, are they? They're not worried about it.
I mean, our graveyards don't look like this, do they? This looks like they have a holiday camp in a way with all the different colors and everything a little sort of beach like you get in Kent.
Oh, this is the thing we're seeing, isn't it the Chichen Chichen Itza.
I mean, I've heard about this day of the dead that they do.
Yeah.
Everyone basically has a party to celebrate the dead people.
We don't do that.
We find it all a bit morbid, don't we, death? We don't like to talk about it.
Certainly don't have a day dedicated to it.
But then we waste days, you know, dedicated to, like pancake Tuesday.
Why have we got a day for pancakes? This sort of thing, me dad would do that.
He built a barbecue a bit like this.
A little grill bit in there.
That was a funnel.
All right, mate.
How's it going? It's all right, you know.
I'm not having a bad time here.
Which is an odd thing to say 'cause it was wrestling yesterday.
Um it depends I mean, if he had hit badly, I could come across like I'm weak.
But, uh, I think I got a few good moves in there.
What do you mean? What do you mean they want what do you mean about the banning bit? I've been here now a couple of days, and I've already seen that they're not really bothered about health and safety.
So the fact that there's something that they are worried about the health and safety of means that it must be pretty mental.
I'm just waiting here for For Carlos, isn't it? Chicken with a gun.
Hello, mate.
Carlos.
How are you doing? You all right? I'm glad, mate.
What are they doing? That's a it's kind of a A whistle we always do.
No, I wasn't that shocked with the whistle.
It was the 30-foot frog that they were carrying.
Oh, yeah.
It's called the Judas.
We use things we don't like and we burn them.
They try to stop it because it's a bit dangerous.
What sort ofDanger? Uh get an injury, but not, like, death.
But it's there's a lot of injuries.
Look.
He's a master craftsman.
Yeah? He makes fireworks.
What, just on the street like this? Yeah.
Are these safe? Yeah.
Look at him.
Has he lost an eye from doing this? Yeah.
One of these fireworks, you know, they turn on and then go.
Like a rocket, and they hit you.
He got hit in the eye.
Who's taking the security measures? I haven't seen anyone who looks official.
I've seen a fellow with one eye who's in charge of making the fireworks.
Yeah, the that's why the government tried to ban it.
But but it would help the situation if they just got a fellow with two eyes.
Do you know what I mean? Maybe the government would say, "Well, at least they're trying to make it safer.
" But I don't I mean, respect to the man for making a living out of it, but I don't think he's the best man for the job.
This is classico Torito.
Yeah? This one is going to burn.
Mental.
It's not [Bleep.]
Mental.
You'll see it.
You'll enjoy it, mate.
So all this is gunpowder, yeah? Yeah.
I'm not getting under that.
You're not getting under that, mate.
Well, Jamie's in charge of health and safety, yet he's [Bleep.]
Back, you see.
So I don't know what I'm meant to be doing here.
I'm meant to be over there? Is that a safe place? It's a safe place, mate.
Let's go.
Where are we going?! Behind the car! Behind the car! Quick! Behind the car! Whoo-hoo-hoo-ha! Get down! Get down! Get down, man! Whoo-hoo-hoo-ha! Whoo! Look, mate! What? I just got burned.
Where are we going? Where's your house? House it's over there.
Let's go.
Ohh! Down! Down that street! Whoo-hoo-hoo-ha! Come on, mate.
Go on, man! Go on.
I'll follow you.
Where's Carlos?! Oh.
Come on, mate.
Get in.
Whoo-hoo.
Whoo! Well, what's this got to do with Jesus? 'Cause it's easter Sunday.
Yeah.
There's no hens going on.
There's no chocolate eggs.
I mean, I haven't read the Bible, but I don't remember anyone mentioning setting fire to a cow with a load of fireworks on it.
The thing is, we burn things, and we think that it's Judas iscariot, you know? It's like vengeance, you know? You betray Jesus Christ, so you're going to burn.
I wasn't getting that from that.
I just saw lunatics.
Let's go work it out Whoo-hoo! Steve sent me a text sort of saying, "Right, you know, stop all your messing about," which has been out of order.
He's the one who sorted all this out.
He said, "You know, you're not there for messing about.
You're meant to be seeing the wonder.
" So I'm going to, uh, make my way over that way today Stop off on the way and meet and meet some charros.
Didn't know what they were.
He said they're, uh, Mexican cowboys.
Ricky sort of said to Steve to tell me to try a sombrero on.
That was the ninth thing he wanted.
Not sort of broadening your mind of meeting local people, trying local food.
He just wants me to wear a hat.
Close your mouth.
Hey! It's not my sort of thing, really You know, cowboys and not.
I've never been into it as a kid or anything, but I'll have a look.
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
They're meant to be like proper men, though, aren't they? If I went home, and he said, "Oh, what are you doing these days?" "Oh, I've got into horses.
" They'd go, "What's what's Is he an idiot.
" Do you know what I mean? It's not a very manly thing to do at home.
Turn! Turn! Turn! But for some reason when you think of cowboys, you do think manliness.
But I think maybe it's losing it a little bit now.
Maybe cowboys aren't like that since you know, since "Brokeback Mountain" and the village people.
There's been little things in the way of cowboys, that's sort of ruining the reputation a little bit.
John Wayne you know, didn't he turn out to be gay? They will bring something to toughen you up a little bit.
And then you will ride the bull.
I can't get on a bull.
I shouldn't be getting on a bull.
We've got loads of horses here why are we messing about on an animal that you don't ride? They haven't got have brains, have they? They'll just run riot.
I don't want to do it.
We'll have just a little drink of tequila to smoothen your muscles and give you a little bit of strength.
One kind of tequila, they put worms in it, and it's a very nice thing to offer the worm to the guest.
What is wrong with you people? May we split? Just [Bleep.]
About on bulls, drinking worms.
I've been wrestling.
I've only been here about three days.
It's like everyone's daring each other to do something stupid.
Get on a cow, get on a bull.
Yeah, let's have a wrestle.
Eat a worm! Do you know what I mean? It's just it's never-ending.
It's just Actually, for us, this is normal, man.
I know, but that's what's frightening.
Do you chew or do you just swallow? Of course you chew and you try to figure out the flavor and everything.
All right.
There you go.
Swallow it! It's still in there! Oh, gosh.
Oh.
Man.
I daren't bend over 'cause I'm gonna be sick.
Right, okay.
Let's jump inside.
Gracias.
Can I see him? Eh, I've caught you out, haven't I? Get him pissed off, stick him on a bull.
If anything happens, you just See, this isn't helping, Eugene.
You know, seeing I've got to suddenly jump out of the way.
Look.
Look, look, look.
Hey, come on! I'm not going out there.
No, seriously.
Jamie, I can't.
There's no way.
Look.
I can't! Keep it short.
What's that he's got? It's for handling the Right.
Exactly.
No, no! Out of the way.
Hey! No, no, no, no! No! Just let me go! No.
Aah! What was that? Stop winding me up, now.
Seriously, right? Enough's enough.
Come on.
Fuck no no chance.
Karl.
Forget it.
Come back, man.
Karl.
It's your turn.
No.
Karl.
No, leave it.
Seriously I've ridden a horse, I've had a drink, I've eaten a worm.
Karl, come back.
No.
A lot of bees here.
Is anywhere safe? Do you sell do you sell Mexican jumping beans? Mexican jumping beans? No.
No? Do you know, uh Mexican jumping beans? No? I don't understand why you've never heard of him.
No.
One of the best things to come out of Mexico.
Little bean.
You all sit around here, nothing to do.
You'd love these things.
Just pop them on the floor, jump about.
You seen that? What is it? It's the thing, isn't it? It's the, uh Chichen Itza that we're seeing.
I mean, it's meant to be a place that, you know, the used to sacrifice people and all that, but they've stuck it on the plate.
You have one new message.
Little change of plan there.
I thought I was gonna be seeing the wonder today, but Rick and Steve have called up.
So forget that.
Um, we're gonna be spending the afternoon in a little village with some mayan people.
So, it should be all right.
You know, after all the hassle on the you know, the horses with the charros and that, it should be a nice little relaxing afternoon, really.
Luis? Hola! Eh, how you doing? Fine, thanks.
And you? I'm Karl.
Nice to meet you, Karl.
Good to see you.
Who's this? He's my Uncle José.
That's your Uncle José.
José.
José.
Nice to see you, José.
The name of the small village is Yashuna.
Yashuna has around 500 people.
It's a quiet place.
It's not like a big city.
Because we don't have a lot of things to do here.
No, there's nothing to do here, is there, really.
No, nothing.
It's just working in the cornfield, and then you go back to your home.
Has he had a good day? Is he happy? Uh Yes.
He say yes.
When did he last have a bad day? Uh Never.
Never.
He's happy every day.
He looks happy.
He's got a happy face.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
He's constantly smiling.
Everyone just stood around.
Look, there's a fellow there just playing with a bit of rubber.
Now, what It can't be good for you, this, can it? That fellow who was smiling, has he ever seen other life? Has ever been to, say? No.
Just here in this little town, living here in the little house.
But why? He doesn't know what he's missing, though, does he? Anyway, he said, uh, "Let's go knock down a wasp's nest.
" I said, "Do what?" He said, "Yeah, we knocked down the wasp's nest and get all the, uh get the larva from it.
What do you do with that? We eat it.
Larva wasp larva.
Yes.
You eat wasp larva? Yeah.
There's the wasp nest.
Oh, yeah.
Uh Use that for wasps? They're all coming out.
Oh! This is stupid.
Seriously, how good could a larva egg taste? Is it worth it? I got one in my Move your hand, move your hand.
Oh! There it is.
Ow.
Don't run away, okay? Just look-it.
No nothing.
These little larvas wasp larvas, they still alive, and you can eat them like this.
Went in their house tiny place.
Tight in here, isn't it? And a woman who was doing the cooking, she made some, um, tortillas, and they got the larva out of the wasp nest.
And it's all right.
We stuck them in some chilies and stuff.
That's really hot.
I can't eat that.
You can hardly taste them.
The chilies are the more powerful.
Well, don't put them in, then.
If it's the chilies that's nice and the sauce, don't bother with the grubs.
Uhh! That's really hot.
Uh, and then I thought I'd give them some some, you know, new experience.
What's that? A bit of monster munch.
Ahh.
Pop it in your mouth.
You like that? It's good, isn't it? Good.
When I think Luis has had stuff like that, you don't get that fat from wasp larva.
I mean, he had a belly on him.
And he kept saying, "Oh, no.
It's the wasps that makes you big and strong.
" How many are you eating? Because they're only that big, and there's not much fat in them.
Well, the Uncle you could tell he was kind of like, "Oh, this is all right, this.
" I think he enjoyed it.
So I'm happy about that.
I gave him a new experience there I think And just was open and get a taste of something new and think, "You know what? I might leave this little village and go into town and get some crisps.
" Anyway, off to see the wonder that they built tomorrow.
I just saw something.
What's that? Is someone pumping a tire up? Every wonder that I've been to so far, I've been whinging a lot, so I'm gonna try and change me attitude on this one 'cause that's what this trip's been about, really.
I've been eating stuff all sorts of stuff that I wouldn't normally eat.
You know, I've been doing things that I wouldn't normally do.
So, I'm gonna try to go there with the idea that I'm gonna love it.
Is this it? Hello? Yeah, I'm filming now.
I'm at the actual wonder.
I told you what to do.
Just get the you get the scart lead that's coming out of the back of the DVD player.
Yeah, and just stick that in the back of the telly.
There's two holes.
Use the first one.
Yeah, it looks all right.
Yeah, it's just a big pyramid.
Right.
Well, all you've got to do is hit that a/v button on the remote control and it will come up.
All right.
Talk to you later.
Iha! Welcome to Chichen Itza, home to one of the most amazing and advanced cultures in history, the Mayans.
I'm Gabriella, and I will be your host.
Buenos dÃas, Gabriella.
Yes, the Maya were amazing.
Archaeologists have uncovered evidence that point to this site as once being covered in human skulls.
I mean, we only started listening, and straightaway, it's, like, violence.
It's just what they used to do with all, like, these dead heads stick the skulls and frighten people off.
So it was all cluttered in heads.
If you lived around here, you'd constantly be hearing, like, screaming going on and As nice as it is it's lovely.
Do you know what I mean? All these trees, nice buildings and that, but that would make me go, "I want to move," to be honest.
I mean, all that going on all the time someone screaming their trap out.
"Aah.
" This would have been a good hiding place when you think about it.
If you're if you're choosed to have your head cut off, great place to sort of run around, isn't it? Got too many, though.
It's like an Ikea for, like, columns, isn't it? Which one? Which one would you want? Well, any.
They're all the same.
Just can't get [Bleep.]
Of them.
How many do you need? Standing at the tzompantli, you can still get that eerie feeling that the spaniards felt when they first witnessed the human sacrifice conducted by the indigenous people throughout this region.
Aaah! That is big, isn't it? It's coming this way.
No.
Hey, he loved that.
Want some more? Yeah, it seen it.
Yeah, I'll have a bit more of that.
It's weird how you can have something in common with something so different.
That's like millions of years old, isn't it? But he still likes to hobnob.
In most religions, an afterlife is a realm of peace.
I want to hear this.
When I'm with you, baby I go out of my head just can't get enough just can't enough all the things you do to me and everything you said I just can't get enough I just can't enough It's funny, isn't it? Even though it's, like, a bad vibe, the area, with a bit of human league, it's happier, isn't it? Get enough of Oh, wow, yeah.
Of course it is.
Depeche Mode.
If they would have, like Televised the sacrificing sky tv/i having this just can't get enough Cut another one off.
I just can't get enough it's getting hotter it's a burning love and I just can't seem to get and I just can't seem to get enough of Oh, here we go.
Look.
Here we go.
It's already starting.
What's that? Oh, yeah.
Got any, um, jumping beans? Mexican jumping beans? No.
Do you know anyone who does around here? No.
No one.
No.
Why not? I tell you, you'd make a killing.
Just get rid of half the plates, add some jumping beans.
So sorry.
It's getting busy now, isn't it? What's the clapping thing about? Yeah, it's just Oh, now I'm hearing it.
It's like a boing, boing, boing.
Yeah, yeah.
Boing, boing, boing.
Is that me doing that? Yeah.
Just a fluke, though, isn't it? That can't be Whoever designed that didn't say to the builder, "Right, listen.
I need some sort of structure, some sort of platform that we can cut heads off, and when the heads roll down, and just at the bottom, somebody want to clap, and it sort of bounces back.
They wouldn't that just wouldn't be on the to-do list.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Is that I mean, you know, is that what they really wanted this to be like when they built it? This wonder Wonder of the world? Is she all right, yeah? This woman's fainted.
Oh.
You see, though.
Everybody loves it.
It gets a bigger crowd then the wonder now 'cause people go, "What's going on, Elsie?" Now they'll get the camera out.
Think they're dying.
Oh, she's still alive.
Let's move on.
The ambulance now.
I prefer to get out of it now.
I feel like I've seen it.
I've had a bit of a lesson with this.
It's been all right.
It's not been me favorite bit of Mexico if I'm honest.
More people flogging I'm half tempted just to sort of fall over like that woman, get a lift home.
I'm going home today.
I'm always sort of happy about going home.
But, um, I've enjoyed it here quite a lot.
I'd probably say it's me favorite place I've ever been to, which is a pretty big statement, isn't it? I mean, the wonder wasn't great.
I wouldn't say come to Mexico to see the wonder.
It's everything else.
There doesn't seem to be any sort of rules.
They just do what they want to do.
And I felt like I've been able to do what I want to do once I've been here, really.
Something else, as well.
Women are quite you know, they look quite big big people -a lot of them.
Do you like that? In a way.
Because they don't care.
Our own women don't eat what you want to eat, do they? You go, "What in the oven?" They'll go you know, I'll say to Suzanne, "We'll have chippy.
" "Yeah, all right.
I'll just have "I'll just have haddock," and then I go, "Well, I'm having COD and chips.
" And you get them, and she's like, "Can I have some chips?" "No, you can't.
You had the option to have chips.
You said you don't want to.
" It's all that thing about weight, whereas here, she's having chips.
She's having chips day in, day out.
She's not bothered.
And I quite like that.
It's a sort of a free spirit they've got, isn't it? They live the life they want to live Which we don't really do at home.
I like it.
I bet I could live here.
For a bit.
The only thing that I'm a bit sort of about is not seeing the Mexican jumping bean.
Yeah
The Taj Mahal.
The great pyramids.
Truly man's greatest achievements.
But there's one man who sees them differently.
A building like that should be going, "What's been going on?" Karl Pilkington.
I don't know the politically correct term.
Close your mouth.
Moron.
I think he is a round, empty-headed, chimp-like moron.
And he's a friend.
You're not meant to laugh.
You're meant to go, "Ooh.
" He's a typical little englander, and he doesn't like going out of his comfort zone.
I just think that it'd be amazing to send him around the world.
Me eyes have never been so busy.
There's always something there going, "Look at me.
" So you're like that so your neck By the end of today, me neck will be well and truly worn out.
What we'd like to see is him experience other cultures And see if in any way we can change his outlook on the world.
It's like something make an ornament of sort of next to the telly.
I've been to many exotic places.
I genuinely think travel broadens the mind.
I want him to hate it.
Oh.
I want him to hate every minute of it for my own amusement.
Nothing is funnier than Karl in a corner being poked by stick.
I am that stick.
And now I have the might of sky behind me.
Shit! Shit! This is one of the funniest, most expensive practical jokes I've ever done.
And it's gonna be great.
Just let me go! Jesus.
No.
Next up, Karl Chichen Itza in Mexico.
Never heard of it.
No, I know you'll think it looks a little like a pyramid.
Yeah.
Not just about the building, though, is it? Mexico very different to Egypt.
Completely different country on a different continent thousands of miles away.
Used, of course, for human sacrifice back in the day.
Yeah, the death thing is good.
Right.
So as opposed to celebrating life and culture, you want to go around Well, it's more relevant to me than this, isn't it? A pyramid isn't for me, is it? I'm not gonna use a pyramid, but I am gonna die.
But it's not about death.
And the great thing is, Karl, that in a lot of these countries, it's a very high murder rate.
Yeah.
So there's a strong chance that you're one of the group could get killed.
If you've got a building for it It's equivalent of, like, death hill in that if you've got something cold, dark in an area, it encourages it.
Knock it down and say, "Don't do that anymore.
It's bad.
" Well, there you go.
Knock it down.
Well, anyway, you're going.
Get your bags, your passport.
We've got to get you to the airport.
Packing again.
Um This time for Mexico.
I mean, it's the same clothes, really.
It doesn't matter where I'm going.
I've got the same pants, I've got the same t-shirts.
Um, maybe a different flavor crisps.
What crisps have you got? Uh, monster munch pickled onion.
Uh, it's good, soft things like this.
What do you like in that monster munch? It's just a bit there's something about them that cheers you up.
Not only are they tasty You're just having a little monster talk out when you're fed up.
You have one new message.
Hey, Karl.
How are you doing? Karlos? How are you doing, man? I'm all right, yeah.
Call me Karlos, yeah.
That's all right.
Let's go, man.
What's up in there, huh? What's all this? Some [Bleep.]
Crashed me, man.
Some [Bleep.]
Crashed you.
Yeah.
Is this yours? Huh? This dog? Yes.
That's yours? Yeah, this is Jack.
Oh.
Normal.
Is this a little chihuahua? Yes.
Oh.
Que pasa, Jack.
When you first get them, they're tiny, aren't they? Uh-huh.
And a friend of me mum had one, sat on the sea front yeah.
A seagull came down, took it away.
Uh-huh? A seagull bird.
Yes.
Came down, grabbed it, took it out to see, never saw it again.
No No , man.
I know.
Today is the day of the Jesus Christ die.
Let me show you the celebration.
It's a good celebration, man With a lot of romance and Mexican womans and Well, quite funny, man.
I've got a girlfriend.
Nice bod? What? Nice bod? Smart? Nice bod? Nice body? Yeah.
She used to have.
Yeah? But, you know, I'm not having a go.
I used to look better than this.
So I just think, you know, we both sort of lost out a little bit.
Good Um Yeah, they're fine.
I mean it's okay.
I mean, you know, I've never It's good to have a good A good body, you know? Ohh.
Okay, Karlitos.
You want to take this street, you know, along the stone quarries.
This one here? Yeah, the big celebration is over there.
See you later, Edgar.
Ciao.
It seems to be a big deal here easter, whereas at home, it's just you know, "Sir, sir, do you have a chocolate egg?," and he was like, "What?" He had no idea.
They don't have chocolate eggs here.
I mean, for me, that's what easter is.
Take the eggs away, it's You know, what I mean? It's Friday.
He fell over.
I think it's part of the story.
Somebody help him.
Do you know the Bible story? No, I don't know, but surely he wouldn't want someone helping him, would he? That's like saying, "Come on.
I want to see you get crucified.
" Say, "Put it down.
Don't be helping me.
" It's the one time in your life where you don't want help.
They're coming through.
He's got a rush job.
Just what you want, isn't it? Imagine that.
Jesus being taken.
You know, your life's gonna end, you got someone with a recorder.
It's the worst sound going, isn't it? It's the worst instrument, that.
I'd say, "Do it here.
" Bloody hell.
I thought it was a proper accident before when he was walking up and he fell over.
I thought it was a proper trip, and it was.
He's obviously he's leg locked.
But it does sort of ruin the whole sort of Jesus-type image when, you know, someone from St.
John's ambulance is sticking salve on his knee.
You think they're gonna nail him? Not after.
Because they were so concerned about his knee, putting salve on and stuff on it.
I don't they'd do that and say, "All right, give us your hands.
" It'd be a bit, uh be a bit extreme, wouldn't it? They used to do it.
Until 1984, they used to do it with nails.
Here? Yeah.
Well, what sort of a nail do you use for that? I always struggle.
D.
I.
Y.
You just never you never get it right.
I do not know what sort would go through oh.
Obviously, you know, all of this means a lot to these people, doesn't it? Whereas, I've never seen anything like this at home, you know at home, really.
It's a sort of a it's got religion linked to it, but, really, it's just the time of the year for greedy people to feel like they're doing a bit of good.
"Oh, I love Jesus, mate.
You got any eggs?" There wasn't an egg even involved in it.
I don't know the connection between Jesus and an egg.
'Cause he can't be happy with that, can he? If he was his cross on his last breath and someone said, "We're gonna remember you, Jesus.
" And it was like, "Great.
What are you gonna do?" "We're gonna have egg.
" "What? Ugh.
" Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't be chuffed with that.
It's not like this at home, is it easter? You know, my easter weekend, I'm normally stuck watching James Bond or, you know, just nipping out stuff like that, but Somehow I can't see that somehow I can't see that happening here.
Since I've been here, you know, I've sort of been thinking about things that I know about Mexico, which isn't that much, but then I just remember seeing a Mexican jumping bean on "Sesame Street" when I was a kid.
Mexican jumping beans.
What are you laughing at? I told me mum about them, and she was like, "What are you on about?" She ended up buying me some marbles instead.
I've always wanted to see one in real life.
Mexican jumping beans.
Mexican jumping beans.
Have you heard of them? No.
It's like a bean and it jumps about.
Bump-bump, bump-ba-bump.
I don't know if you're meant to eat them.
I don't know if you get them in a food shop or pet shop.
Like a little bean, pop it in your hand.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
Probably be like Heinz beans.
You can get them anywhere at home.
Know Heinz beans? You got no brakes.
SÃ.
How do you brake? SÃ.
Shhh! Brake.
SÃ.
How? SÃ.
No brake.
SÃ.
You might be Mexicans.
You need brakes it's not safe.
SÃ.
Brake.
Oh.
No, I didn't pack anything like that, no.
Wrestling? What's that got to do with the seven wonders? I'm here to see a wonder.
I've had enough practice.
I mean, you know.
You've sort of had me in that lock, so I know.
That's the spirit.
That's the spirit.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I'll see you later.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Are you Sandy? Hello.
Bloody hell.
I'm not doing it in front of a crowd, am I? I'm just getting some training? Yeah, some training.
Yeah.
It's good, isn't it? I'm just about to go and wrestle with the shocker.
I told Susan about it, right? I said, "Don't be hassling me.
I'm about to go wrestling.
" She sent me a text, "Be careful.
How do you use the DVD player?" That's that's good, isn't it? She's not that worried.
Hey! I should introduce you.
Nice to meet you, Karlitos.
Karl.
How are you doing? You're shocker.
I'm shocker.
Very pleased to meet you.
Let me show you around.
You're a lot bigger than I thought.
I thought they would have given me a little fellow to sort of try out with.
Oh, you want a little fellow? How big? This big? Just about like that.
Come here, boy.
Watch.
Ugh! Ughh! Ugh! Aah! Ohh! Ugh! I know it's Ricky that set it up, and it's folly, you know, to him, but this is, like, how accidents happen.
It's like the star of casualty.
You watch that programme, everyone's having fun, it's a party or something.
People are going on a holiday on a bus.
And you know it's all gonna go wrong.
And that's how this feels.
It feels like the star of casualty.
It was just somebody who chokes around.
That could be me out there.
I mean, does he know the full story that I'm here to see the seven wonders? I didn't come here to be trained as a No, he doesn't know that.
Yeah, well, it's You should tell him, really.
Looks better on you.
Wow.
You look just like a wrestler.
Hey, come on.
Squat and then jump, kick your legs Go like that? Yeah, go ahead.
That's all right.
Whoa! Good job! Really? You almost got it.
Okay, we're gonna start with training of wrestling.
Are you ready? Now what have I done there? You'll be okay in a couple of days.
Come on.
Ready? You got to follow the lead, okay? There you go.
See how easy that was? Okay? Can I be you in that one? Come on, you Oh, missed the thing.
Go.
Grab the ropes.
Oh, Good job.
Hold on.
Don't just Oh, I'm going to be sick.
Wait a minute.
You're sick? I'm sick.
Going to throw up? Like this.
Is it normal to feel, like, sick? Ugh! Oh, yeah.
Do you give up? Yeah.
Ohh.
Come on, Karl.
Shocker, I can't.
You see me shaking.
That doesn't do me confidence any good, really, because I thought I was fitter than that.
What do you think Suzanne would say if she saw you now? I'm not wanting to watch this one.
Whatever night this goes on, I'm gonna take her out for something to eat.
"I want to stay in and watch.
" "No, we're going out.
" Somebody said hang out, so, uh, I don't know what I'm going to be doing.
Rick and Steve probably at home doing nothing.
They haven't called up yet and given any instructions, so I'm just gonna have a wander about, see what's going on.
Oh, look here.
Look at the newspapers.
Normally we've got Cheryl Cole on the front of our newspapers.
Yet, here, look.
Fella sort of done in.
Look at that.
They're not scared of death here in Mexico, are they? They're not worried about it.
I mean, our graveyards don't look like this, do they? This looks like they have a holiday camp in a way with all the different colors and everything a little sort of beach like you get in Kent.
Oh, this is the thing we're seeing, isn't it the Chichen Chichen Itza.
I mean, I've heard about this day of the dead that they do.
Yeah.
Everyone basically has a party to celebrate the dead people.
We don't do that.
We find it all a bit morbid, don't we, death? We don't like to talk about it.
Certainly don't have a day dedicated to it.
But then we waste days, you know, dedicated to, like pancake Tuesday.
Why have we got a day for pancakes? This sort of thing, me dad would do that.
He built a barbecue a bit like this.
A little grill bit in there.
That was a funnel.
All right, mate.
How's it going? It's all right, you know.
I'm not having a bad time here.
Which is an odd thing to say 'cause it was wrestling yesterday.
Um it depends I mean, if he had hit badly, I could come across like I'm weak.
But, uh, I think I got a few good moves in there.
What do you mean? What do you mean they want what do you mean about the banning bit? I've been here now a couple of days, and I've already seen that they're not really bothered about health and safety.
So the fact that there's something that they are worried about the health and safety of means that it must be pretty mental.
I'm just waiting here for For Carlos, isn't it? Chicken with a gun.
Hello, mate.
Carlos.
How are you doing? You all right? I'm glad, mate.
What are they doing? That's a it's kind of a A whistle we always do.
No, I wasn't that shocked with the whistle.
It was the 30-foot frog that they were carrying.
Oh, yeah.
It's called the Judas.
We use things we don't like and we burn them.
They try to stop it because it's a bit dangerous.
What sort ofDanger? Uh get an injury, but not, like, death.
But it's there's a lot of injuries.
Look.
He's a master craftsman.
Yeah? He makes fireworks.
What, just on the street like this? Yeah.
Are these safe? Yeah.
Look at him.
Has he lost an eye from doing this? Yeah.
One of these fireworks, you know, they turn on and then go.
Like a rocket, and they hit you.
He got hit in the eye.
Who's taking the security measures? I haven't seen anyone who looks official.
I've seen a fellow with one eye who's in charge of making the fireworks.
Yeah, the that's why the government tried to ban it.
But but it would help the situation if they just got a fellow with two eyes.
Do you know what I mean? Maybe the government would say, "Well, at least they're trying to make it safer.
" But I don't I mean, respect to the man for making a living out of it, but I don't think he's the best man for the job.
This is classico Torito.
Yeah? This one is going to burn.
Mental.
It's not [Bleep.]
Mental.
You'll see it.
You'll enjoy it, mate.
So all this is gunpowder, yeah? Yeah.
I'm not getting under that.
You're not getting under that, mate.
Well, Jamie's in charge of health and safety, yet he's [Bleep.]
Back, you see.
So I don't know what I'm meant to be doing here.
I'm meant to be over there? Is that a safe place? It's a safe place, mate.
Let's go.
Where are we going?! Behind the car! Behind the car! Quick! Behind the car! Whoo-hoo-hoo-ha! Get down! Get down! Get down, man! Whoo-hoo-hoo-ha! Whoo! Look, mate! What? I just got burned.
Where are we going? Where's your house? House it's over there.
Let's go.
Ohh! Down! Down that street! Whoo-hoo-hoo-ha! Come on, mate.
Go on, man! Go on.
I'll follow you.
Where's Carlos?! Oh.
Come on, mate.
Get in.
Whoo-hoo.
Whoo! Well, what's this got to do with Jesus? 'Cause it's easter Sunday.
Yeah.
There's no hens going on.
There's no chocolate eggs.
I mean, I haven't read the Bible, but I don't remember anyone mentioning setting fire to a cow with a load of fireworks on it.
The thing is, we burn things, and we think that it's Judas iscariot, you know? It's like vengeance, you know? You betray Jesus Christ, so you're going to burn.
I wasn't getting that from that.
I just saw lunatics.
Let's go work it out Whoo-hoo! Steve sent me a text sort of saying, "Right, you know, stop all your messing about," which has been out of order.
He's the one who sorted all this out.
He said, "You know, you're not there for messing about.
You're meant to be seeing the wonder.
" So I'm going to, uh, make my way over that way today Stop off on the way and meet and meet some charros.
Didn't know what they were.
He said they're, uh, Mexican cowboys.
Ricky sort of said to Steve to tell me to try a sombrero on.
That was the ninth thing he wanted.
Not sort of broadening your mind of meeting local people, trying local food.
He just wants me to wear a hat.
Close your mouth.
Hey! It's not my sort of thing, really You know, cowboys and not.
I've never been into it as a kid or anything, but I'll have a look.
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
They're meant to be like proper men, though, aren't they? If I went home, and he said, "Oh, what are you doing these days?" "Oh, I've got into horses.
" They'd go, "What's what's Is he an idiot.
" Do you know what I mean? It's not a very manly thing to do at home.
Turn! Turn! Turn! But for some reason when you think of cowboys, you do think manliness.
But I think maybe it's losing it a little bit now.
Maybe cowboys aren't like that since you know, since "Brokeback Mountain" and the village people.
There's been little things in the way of cowboys, that's sort of ruining the reputation a little bit.
John Wayne you know, didn't he turn out to be gay? They will bring something to toughen you up a little bit.
And then you will ride the bull.
I can't get on a bull.
I shouldn't be getting on a bull.
We've got loads of horses here why are we messing about on an animal that you don't ride? They haven't got have brains, have they? They'll just run riot.
I don't want to do it.
We'll have just a little drink of tequila to smoothen your muscles and give you a little bit of strength.
One kind of tequila, they put worms in it, and it's a very nice thing to offer the worm to the guest.
What is wrong with you people? May we split? Just [Bleep.]
About on bulls, drinking worms.
I've been wrestling.
I've only been here about three days.
It's like everyone's daring each other to do something stupid.
Get on a cow, get on a bull.
Yeah, let's have a wrestle.
Eat a worm! Do you know what I mean? It's just it's never-ending.
It's just Actually, for us, this is normal, man.
I know, but that's what's frightening.
Do you chew or do you just swallow? Of course you chew and you try to figure out the flavor and everything.
All right.
There you go.
Swallow it! It's still in there! Oh, gosh.
Oh.
Man.
I daren't bend over 'cause I'm gonna be sick.
Right, okay.
Let's jump inside.
Gracias.
Can I see him? Eh, I've caught you out, haven't I? Get him pissed off, stick him on a bull.
If anything happens, you just See, this isn't helping, Eugene.
You know, seeing I've got to suddenly jump out of the way.
Look.
Look, look, look.
Hey, come on! I'm not going out there.
No, seriously.
Jamie, I can't.
There's no way.
Look.
I can't! Keep it short.
What's that he's got? It's for handling the Right.
Exactly.
No, no! Out of the way.
Hey! No, no, no, no! No! Just let me go! No.
Aah! What was that? Stop winding me up, now.
Seriously, right? Enough's enough.
Come on.
Fuck no no chance.
Karl.
Forget it.
Come back, man.
Karl.
It's your turn.
No.
Karl.
No, leave it.
Seriously I've ridden a horse, I've had a drink, I've eaten a worm.
Karl, come back.
No.
A lot of bees here.
Is anywhere safe? Do you sell do you sell Mexican jumping beans? Mexican jumping beans? No.
No? Do you know, uh Mexican jumping beans? No? I don't understand why you've never heard of him.
No.
One of the best things to come out of Mexico.
Little bean.
You all sit around here, nothing to do.
You'd love these things.
Just pop them on the floor, jump about.
You seen that? What is it? It's the thing, isn't it? It's the, uh Chichen Itza that we're seeing.
I mean, it's meant to be a place that, you know, the used to sacrifice people and all that, but they've stuck it on the plate.
You have one new message.
Little change of plan there.
I thought I was gonna be seeing the wonder today, but Rick and Steve have called up.
So forget that.
Um, we're gonna be spending the afternoon in a little village with some mayan people.
So, it should be all right.
You know, after all the hassle on the you know, the horses with the charros and that, it should be a nice little relaxing afternoon, really.
Luis? Hola! Eh, how you doing? Fine, thanks.
And you? I'm Karl.
Nice to meet you, Karl.
Good to see you.
Who's this? He's my Uncle José.
That's your Uncle José.
José.
José.
Nice to see you, José.
The name of the small village is Yashuna.
Yashuna has around 500 people.
It's a quiet place.
It's not like a big city.
Because we don't have a lot of things to do here.
No, there's nothing to do here, is there, really.
No, nothing.
It's just working in the cornfield, and then you go back to your home.
Has he had a good day? Is he happy? Uh Yes.
He say yes.
When did he last have a bad day? Uh Never.
Never.
He's happy every day.
He looks happy.
He's got a happy face.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
He's constantly smiling.
Everyone just stood around.
Look, there's a fellow there just playing with a bit of rubber.
Now, what It can't be good for you, this, can it? That fellow who was smiling, has he ever seen other life? Has ever been to, say? No.
Just here in this little town, living here in the little house.
But why? He doesn't know what he's missing, though, does he? Anyway, he said, uh, "Let's go knock down a wasp's nest.
" I said, "Do what?" He said, "Yeah, we knocked down the wasp's nest and get all the, uh get the larva from it.
What do you do with that? We eat it.
Larva wasp larva.
Yes.
You eat wasp larva? Yeah.
There's the wasp nest.
Oh, yeah.
Uh Use that for wasps? They're all coming out.
Oh! This is stupid.
Seriously, how good could a larva egg taste? Is it worth it? I got one in my Move your hand, move your hand.
Oh! There it is.
Ow.
Don't run away, okay? Just look-it.
No nothing.
These little larvas wasp larvas, they still alive, and you can eat them like this.
Went in their house tiny place.
Tight in here, isn't it? And a woman who was doing the cooking, she made some, um, tortillas, and they got the larva out of the wasp nest.
And it's all right.
We stuck them in some chilies and stuff.
That's really hot.
I can't eat that.
You can hardly taste them.
The chilies are the more powerful.
Well, don't put them in, then.
If it's the chilies that's nice and the sauce, don't bother with the grubs.
Uhh! That's really hot.
Uh, and then I thought I'd give them some some, you know, new experience.
What's that? A bit of monster munch.
Ahh.
Pop it in your mouth.
You like that? It's good, isn't it? Good.
When I think Luis has had stuff like that, you don't get that fat from wasp larva.
I mean, he had a belly on him.
And he kept saying, "Oh, no.
It's the wasps that makes you big and strong.
" How many are you eating? Because they're only that big, and there's not much fat in them.
Well, the Uncle you could tell he was kind of like, "Oh, this is all right, this.
" I think he enjoyed it.
So I'm happy about that.
I gave him a new experience there I think And just was open and get a taste of something new and think, "You know what? I might leave this little village and go into town and get some crisps.
" Anyway, off to see the wonder that they built tomorrow.
I just saw something.
What's that? Is someone pumping a tire up? Every wonder that I've been to so far, I've been whinging a lot, so I'm gonna try and change me attitude on this one 'cause that's what this trip's been about, really.
I've been eating stuff all sorts of stuff that I wouldn't normally eat.
You know, I've been doing things that I wouldn't normally do.
So, I'm gonna try to go there with the idea that I'm gonna love it.
Is this it? Hello? Yeah, I'm filming now.
I'm at the actual wonder.
I told you what to do.
Just get the you get the scart lead that's coming out of the back of the DVD player.
Yeah, and just stick that in the back of the telly.
There's two holes.
Use the first one.
Yeah, it looks all right.
Yeah, it's just a big pyramid.
Right.
Well, all you've got to do is hit that a/v button on the remote control and it will come up.
All right.
Talk to you later.
Iha! Welcome to Chichen Itza, home to one of the most amazing and advanced cultures in history, the Mayans.
I'm Gabriella, and I will be your host.
Buenos dÃas, Gabriella.
Yes, the Maya were amazing.
Archaeologists have uncovered evidence that point to this site as once being covered in human skulls.
I mean, we only started listening, and straightaway, it's, like, violence.
It's just what they used to do with all, like, these dead heads stick the skulls and frighten people off.
So it was all cluttered in heads.
If you lived around here, you'd constantly be hearing, like, screaming going on and As nice as it is it's lovely.
Do you know what I mean? All these trees, nice buildings and that, but that would make me go, "I want to move," to be honest.
I mean, all that going on all the time someone screaming their trap out.
"Aah.
" This would have been a good hiding place when you think about it.
If you're if you're choosed to have your head cut off, great place to sort of run around, isn't it? Got too many, though.
It's like an Ikea for, like, columns, isn't it? Which one? Which one would you want? Well, any.
They're all the same.
Just can't get [Bleep.]
Of them.
How many do you need? Standing at the tzompantli, you can still get that eerie feeling that the spaniards felt when they first witnessed the human sacrifice conducted by the indigenous people throughout this region.
Aaah! That is big, isn't it? It's coming this way.
No.
Hey, he loved that.
Want some more? Yeah, it seen it.
Yeah, I'll have a bit more of that.
It's weird how you can have something in common with something so different.
That's like millions of years old, isn't it? But he still likes to hobnob.
In most religions, an afterlife is a realm of peace.
I want to hear this.
When I'm with you, baby I go out of my head just can't get enough just can't enough all the things you do to me and everything you said I just can't get enough I just can't enough It's funny, isn't it? Even though it's, like, a bad vibe, the area, with a bit of human league, it's happier, isn't it? Get enough of Oh, wow, yeah.
Of course it is.
Depeche Mode.
If they would have, like Televised the sacrificing sky tv/i having this just can't get enough Cut another one off.
I just can't get enough it's getting hotter it's a burning love and I just can't seem to get and I just can't seem to get enough of Oh, here we go.
Look.
Here we go.
It's already starting.
What's that? Oh, yeah.
Got any, um, jumping beans? Mexican jumping beans? No.
Do you know anyone who does around here? No.
No one.
No.
Why not? I tell you, you'd make a killing.
Just get rid of half the plates, add some jumping beans.
So sorry.
It's getting busy now, isn't it? What's the clapping thing about? Yeah, it's just Oh, now I'm hearing it.
It's like a boing, boing, boing.
Yeah, yeah.
Boing, boing, boing.
Is that me doing that? Yeah.
Just a fluke, though, isn't it? That can't be Whoever designed that didn't say to the builder, "Right, listen.
I need some sort of structure, some sort of platform that we can cut heads off, and when the heads roll down, and just at the bottom, somebody want to clap, and it sort of bounces back.
They wouldn't that just wouldn't be on the to-do list.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Is that I mean, you know, is that what they really wanted this to be like when they built it? This wonder Wonder of the world? Is she all right, yeah? This woman's fainted.
Oh.
You see, though.
Everybody loves it.
It gets a bigger crowd then the wonder now 'cause people go, "What's going on, Elsie?" Now they'll get the camera out.
Think they're dying.
Oh, she's still alive.
Let's move on.
The ambulance now.
I prefer to get out of it now.
I feel like I've seen it.
I've had a bit of a lesson with this.
It's been all right.
It's not been me favorite bit of Mexico if I'm honest.
More people flogging I'm half tempted just to sort of fall over like that woman, get a lift home.
I'm going home today.
I'm always sort of happy about going home.
But, um, I've enjoyed it here quite a lot.
I'd probably say it's me favorite place I've ever been to, which is a pretty big statement, isn't it? I mean, the wonder wasn't great.
I wouldn't say come to Mexico to see the wonder.
It's everything else.
There doesn't seem to be any sort of rules.
They just do what they want to do.
And I felt like I've been able to do what I want to do once I've been here, really.
Something else, as well.
Women are quite you know, they look quite big big people -a lot of them.
Do you like that? In a way.
Because they don't care.
Our own women don't eat what you want to eat, do they? You go, "What in the oven?" They'll go you know, I'll say to Suzanne, "We'll have chippy.
" "Yeah, all right.
I'll just have "I'll just have haddock," and then I go, "Well, I'm having COD and chips.
" And you get them, and she's like, "Can I have some chips?" "No, you can't.
You had the option to have chips.
You said you don't want to.
" It's all that thing about weight, whereas here, she's having chips.
She's having chips day in, day out.
She's not bothered.
And I quite like that.
It's a sort of a free spirit they've got, isn't it? They live the life they want to live Which we don't really do at home.
I like it.
I bet I could live here.
For a bit.
The only thing that I'm a bit sort of about is not seeing the Mexican jumping bean.
Yeah