And Just Like That... (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

Little Black Dress

1 Brady! Yeah, ride me, cowboy! Jesus Can you hear them? Eh, not that much.
You're lucky.
Steve, the phone! Who's callin' on the landline? Hello yeah.
- It's Carrie.
- Hello? Oh What do I do now? I guess They take him away, - and - No, I meant me.
- What do I do now? - Oh honey, oh honey.
You okay? Oh.
It's my back.
Sometimes Big has to rub it.
Here? Thanks.
That's enough.
You sure? When you've come to the end of the road together and it's time to say goodbye we can be there for you.
When you feel overwhelmed and lost, and don't know which way to turn - Hey.
- we can be there for you.
- Get any sleep? - Mm-hmm.
We can help turn these difficult decisions into meaningful memories.
You don't have to walk this road alone.
- What is that? - It's a funeral home sizzle reel.
Well, um, I'm gonna make us some coffee, and then, we'll figure out what we need to do here.
No, you need to go home and get some sleep before school.
Charlotte can come over and help me figure this out.
I'm not gonna go to school and leave you alone here.
- Where do you keep your coffee? - I won't be alone.
Charlotte will be here, and you have to go to school, especially after that first day.
Well, we can talk about that over coffee.
- Where's your coffee? - It's in the freezer.
Okay I'm gonna make us some.
Some what? Coffee.
- We got so lucky.
- So, so, so lucky.
And I'm sorry about last night.
- Let's not pick at each other anymore.
- We won't.
It's stupid and petty and not important.
Y-You're all that's important to me And you're what's important to me.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
All right.
Let me get some coffee.
Are you wearing that cologne I hate? Sorry.
I heard myself.
I did.
I mean And this is the Hampton space.
Elegant, serene, understated.
It is the largest of our five event spaces.
How many participants will you be expecting, Mrs.
Preston? Oh, um I, I hadn't even considered that yet.
It's, it's fine.
This just happened, and we just haven't had time to collect our thoughts.
You're our first stop, and it's, it's new to us.
Have a seat.
Uh, Jane Hayes, our primary mortician, will be in to continue on.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- What? - He would hate it here.
We can look at the other rooms.
No, the whole place.
It's just It's just It's all wrong.
This place is about old people and death.
The Hampton space - Gotta love the irony.
- Carrie, I'm so, so sorry.
If I hadn't forced you to go to the concert then you would've gone to the Hamptons with Big, and he would be alive right now.
I just I feel like you think it's all my fault.
What? I don't think that.
Well, I do.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Charlotte, he had a heart attack.
I know, I know, but if you hadn't been at the concert, you would've been with him, and you would've, you would've done something, and then he would be alive now.
- I'm Jane Hayes.
- Oh.
I am so sorry for your loss Mrs.
I-I'm not Mrs.
She's Mrs.
I-I'm just her friend.
My apologies.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you very much for your time, but I don't think this is gonna work out here.
- Charlotte, let's go.
- I'm very sorry.
I walked in, and she was just so bereft.
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
Charlotte, up.
Would you rather another mortician of ours handle this? No, thank you.
Charlotte, please get it together and get up.
Please! Don't leave because of a thoughtless mistake I made.
Jane, it's not you It's me.
This is terrible.
I feel awful.
I should be putting you in an Uber.
No, it's fine.
Go home and lie down.
No, but just for an hour.
There's so much to do.
- Are you sure you're okay by yourself? - I think I'd prefer it.
Call Miranda.
Oh wait! No, no.
I can do that.
I'm doing it now! Love you.
Oh, sorry Sorry.
I, I just need to find my ID.
It's in here somewhere.
It'll just be a second.
Sorry, sorry.
Please step to the side until you do.
No, no.
It's, it's right here.
- I'm just - Uh, hello.
This is Professor Nya Wallace.
She teaches law here.
- You can let her through.
- Not without an ID I can't.
I, I can vouch for her.
Uh, here.
I-I'm Miranda Hobbes.
I'm in her class.
Yeah, well, you ain't her.
Miranda, it's okay.
It's in here somewhere.
Just one more place.
If not, I'll step out.
- I'm sorry.
- I, I don't understand why you're questioning her identity.
I'm not questioning her identity.
I'm waitin' for her to show me her ID.
Well, it's interesting because you barely glanced at mine when I went through.
- Could I have your name? - No.
- Here it is, here it is.
- Thank you.
Come on through, Professor Wallace.
- Hi.
I just had to say something.
- Did you? - Excuse me? - Did you have to say something? Oh one of the important takeaways I got from how to be an anti-racist is if you see something you have to speak on it.
You have to call it out.
Well, that's very noble of you, even if a tad bit white savior complex, but the reality is you just inflamed a situation that was perfectly fine.
He needed to see my ID.
It was somewhere in my bag.
This isn't "To Kill a Mockingbird.
" I don't need a good-hearted lawyer to defend me.
- I'm sorry.
- I appreciate it, but it's not necessary to apologize.
We're all just here learning, right? Speakin' of which, what is happenin' with all these books? It's all available online.
A Kindle weighs nothing.
I, I know, but I just, actually, like to turn the pages when I'm reading.
You're old-school.
Why does everyone wear black? Well, it's a tradition, and it just shows that we're not happy and feeling colorful.
Yeah, I'm not feeling that happy either.
Oh, honey, come here.
I need both my girls.
We're all sad.
Death it's a part of life.
It's the saddest part, but it's, it's also a really important part because it gives us a chance to remember how much our loved ones mean to us.
So, while it's sad it still can be beautiful.
Right? Right? Is Aunt Carrie all alone now? No, she has us.
Lisa Todd Wexley is here.
She said she's invited for lunch.
Oh my gosh, I forgot.
I love you guys.
How we doin', Team Goldenblatt? Charlotte, honey, don't worry about me.
I totally understand.
It just completely flew out of my head.
I mean, this whole thing has just been a horrible shock.
I'm just a mess.
I could barely keep it together - in front of the girls just now.
- I was the exact same way when I lost my dad last year.
I could see my rings literally shaking on my hands while I was trying to be so strong for them.
- It's hard.
- It's so hard.
Oh, honey.
Oh, it's all right.
Oh, okay.
What was he even doin' on that bike? It wasn't the bike, Steve.
He was on that bike for over a thousand rides.
It doesn't seem smart.
He, he had a heart condition.
He got the okay from his cardiologist.
Exercise is good for the heart.
Apparently not.
The bike was a mistake.
Why do you think you keep tryin' to make this about the bike? I don't know.
I To make sense of it, I guess.
I I can't believe he's gone.
Man that sucks.
Death sucks.
Hey Come here.
I'm good.
Well, we are not.
Hug your ma and me.
You took the SD card, and the sound quality is okay? Okay.
I'll see you in about 45 minutes.
No, I know.
I just wanna get there before other people, and make sure everything's the way I want it.
What a chic place for a funeral.
Trust me, it's the only chic place for a funeral.
Thank God for these lesbians.
Oh my God.
There it is.
Are you okay? I said no flowers.
I'll be right back.
I'm so proud of her.
With all she's going through, pulling it together, and giving us a look today because people will be expecting it.
She's kind of our Jackie Kennedy.
Mm-hm, maybe don't say that to her.
Oh, I did already.
I need to speak with Lila and Carmen.
The flowers came right after we hung up.
We wanted you to at least see them, so you could make an informed decision.
Now, we're totally onboard with your vision, but that vignette is just so gorgeous.
I don't know.
Well, who's it even from? They can stay.
Carrie, everything is just beautiful.
The funeral director asked me if I wanted to rent a coffin, - you know, since he's being cremated.
- Right.
Big would never want to be in a rental.
He wouldn't even rent a car.
Did they pressure you to buy all that collision insurance with those, too? I was tryin' to be funny, and I wasn't.
- Well, everything's just perfect.
- Oh good.
I wanted it to be.
And you changed your mind about the flowers.
No, they're from Samantha.
Oh, there's Gloria.
Big's secretary.
- That's what she prefers to be called.
- Okay.
Go, go.
It-it feels good, right? It means a lot.
- How you doin', my love? - Okay.
- Gloria.
- Oh, Carrie.
Carrie how do you feel about hugs? From you? Pretty darn good.
I always ask because I hate to be pawed by strangers.
Well, you're not a stranger.
Oh, that's so sweet of you to say.
But it's true.
He always said, "Gloria knows more about me than I know about myself.
" Oh wow.
He was one of a kind.
He kept me on for years when all the others got rid of their old gals.
I mean the men, not the old gals.
- Wow, that's quite a dress.
- Thank you.
- I wanted to do him proud.
- Ha, mission accomplished.
Oh, go.
You have all these people to see.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for our loss.
- Aw, thank you for coming.
- Of course.
- Che, you didn't have to come.
- Of course, I did.
It's someone you loved.
- That means a lot to me.
- Of course.
And if any trouble breaks out, place gets a little rowdy, you know how these discreet funerals can be, I got you.
I used to be a bouncer at a dyke bike club, so that's some world-class bouncin'.
- Thanks for the laugh.
- Mm, technically, only a smile.
I'm a stand-up.
I notice these things.
Thank you.
Oh, excuse me, um, you're in my seat.
It's assigned seating in front.
I see.
Yeah, that, that's me, uh, right next to Carrie.
- I beg your pardon.
- Here, you can have my seat.
- I'll find a place in the back.
- Oh.
No, no, it's fine.
Thanks so much.
I see plenty of chairs with names on them.
- I'm sure you're there.
- I'm sure I am.
What? I'm sorry.
I need to be at the side of my best friend during her husband's funeral, and I need my husband at my side on the other side.
Can I have a glass of Chablis, please? Oh, we're serving after the service.
Oh, that's okay.
I'm family.
My husband sent over all the liquor from his bar.
You know what? Looking around, I'm not sure we have enough wine for everyone, so, maybe, save that, and I will have a neat bourbon.
Super quick.
I'm speaking, and it's about to start, so if you could, super quick.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, Miranda's speaking.
I would've liked to have said a few words.
It's a funeral, not "The Moth.
" How lucky How lucky we all are to have known this amazing man, John James Preston.
How lovely to have shared dinners drinks, deals and, for some of us, cigars with this one-of-a-kind.
How long it seems that we have known him How very long.
And yet, not near long enough.
How large he was in all of our lives.
He will leave a big hole.
And how sad how very, very sad.
But for today, let us remember how lucky.
That was beautiful.
Carrie wrote it.
Good afternoon.
I've been asked to say a few words about, um my baby brother.
When I spoke with John just last week he told me that he had never been happier in his whole life.
And, well, I'd say that's the way to go out.
So, Carrie I thank you for giving him that.
Hello it's me I've thought about us for a long, long time Maybe I think too much but something's wrong There's something here doesn't last too long Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine Seeing you Or seeing anything as much I do you I take for granted that you're always there Am I the only one that remembers what a prick he was to her? I take for granted that you just don't care Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through Think of me You know that I'd be with you if I could I'll come around to see you once in a while Or if I ever need a reason to smile Ooh, Charlotte, can you walk Gloria out, and just make sure she gets in a cab? - Of course.
- Oh, that's not necessary.
Well, I know it's not, but I'll feel better.
- I'll call you soon, okay? - Well, when you're up to it.
There's a slew of papers that we've gotta get through.
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
Carrie, I know, I know.
I lost my Bobby a year and a half ago, so I know.
People said they knew how I was feeling.
They didn't know, but I know.
It's still so fresh.
It's wonderful that you get to see family and friends, and, and make something beautiful like this.
I lost Bobby so early in the COVID, you couldn't see anyone.
No one even knew how to Zoom Shiva yet.
- Yeah.
- And if anyone would've loved a big send-off like this, it would've been my husband Mr.
- Oh, oh, do you know Kevin Silberton? - No.
- Bobby's pianist.
- No, oh.
- His orchestrator.
- H-How is that relevant - today and here? - Sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
He doesn't know I know.
- Carrie.
- Susan Sharon.
I didn't know you were here.
Oh, it's so nice of you to come.
Carrie look at me.
I forgive you.
It's over.
In the past.
When I read the obit in the "Times," I said to myself, "Susan Sharon, life is too short to hold a grudge.
" Do you You remember Miranda? Sure.
All of that's water under the bridge, I guess.
So, I said to myself, "Susan Sharon, let it go.
"Just fuckin' let it go, "and go to Carrie, and make things right with her - "whether she wants to or not.
" - No I mean, I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and I'm not expecting an apology or a mea culpa, so just consider this your "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
I love you.
I'm back.
The end.
And we can work this all out when you have the bandwidth.
It was nice to see you again.
What happened between you two? I have no idea.
I was hoping you knew.
- I mean Hey.
- Hey.
- How you holdin' up, huh? - Oh, I'm fine, fine.
Do you need anything? That Carrie.
She's totally amazing.
Runnin' around, she's producin' this whole thing, you know If it were you in that box, I would be a total mess.
- She's not even cryin'.
- Yeah but is that a good thing? It must be cool being like a real, for-real comedian.
My buddy Sean makes these funny videos, - but, you know, he's not a pro.
- Wow.
- Cool.
- Brady! What do you think you're doing? Down there.
I'm talking to you.
- What do you think you're doing? - Well, uh, I'm pickin' up the pipe that my man here threw to the ground.
He is not your man.
He is my son, and he is not a man.
He is a minor.
I could have you arrested.
Okay, so I was just standing here minding my own business, not corrupting a minor, when he came over and asked me for a hit.
- He's 17! - Stop, you're embarrassing me.
No, you have embarrassed yourself.
Who the fuck are you anyway? Why are you even here? What're you? Some kind of a, a funeral pot pusher? No, I'm not, but that is a great idea for an untapped market.
- You think this is funny? - Well, not yet, but gimme an hour or two, and I'll work it into a solid tight ten.
Mom, Mom.
I don't know who you are or where you came from, but, trust me, you don't wanna mess with me.
And if you don't back the fuck up from us right fuckin' now, I'm gonna rip your goddamn head off.
Okay, just chill, all right? Slow your roll.
I have no intention of slowing my anything.
This is my son that you are getting high on God-knows-what.
Mom! It was just weed.
I, I felt sad.
I needed a hit.
- Oh, you felt sad.
- Yes! Maybe I should kill myself, so you can try crack.
Oh my God.
You're going home with your father right now.
And no Luisa for a week.
Oh, okay, now you sound really crazy.
What did you say? I said, um Where's Dad? I'm gonna go find him.
Oh, Miranda, I want you to meet someone.
This is my podcast boss, Che Diaz.
Che this is my ride-or-die, Miranda.
- Hey.
- Nice to meet you.
Oh, sorry.
I have to Anyway, excuse me.
Um - All I can say is - If you actually think there are words that are gonna make this less uncomfortable go for it.
Okay I was, maybe, a little too No, don't.
You were fine.
That, that was totally on me out there.
I didn't think his age was even a factor, probably 'cause I've been smokin' weed since I was 13.
Why didn't you tell me who you were? I just assumed that the correct behavior when you're being accused of doing inappropriate things with a boy is to just walk away.
But, um honestly, it was very cool how you protected him out there.
Well, thank you.
I guess I'm kinda like a mama bear - when it comes to my kid.
- Mama bear? Honey, try papa bear.
Okay, like a big daddy silverback papa bear like, "Rawr!" Let's start again.
I'm Che Diaz.
- I'm Miranda Hobbes.
- Hi.
Um, Che as in Che Guevara? Ah, Che as in the first three letters of Cheryl.
Yeah, I dropped the "r-y-l.
" I mean, do I seem like a Cheryl? - No.
- Yeah.
And you don't seem like a Miranda.
- Oh? - Yeah.
What do I seem like? A Rambo.
- Yeah, like - Right, right.
Well at least that's all behind me.
I guess this is what happens when you request "No flowers, please.
" What part of "no flowers" do orchid people not understand? I can take that lox to the synagogue if it's still good in the morning.
Yes, please do.
Leave your cares behind - These are the good times - What the fuck? Oh, hi.
Aaaah! No, no! Get that devil doll away from me! That devil doll's tryin' to steal her shit! Help! Give me my bag! Ha! Take that, devil doll.
This shit's crazy.
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
- Are you okay? - I'm okay.
I, I, I It was unclear to me whether that was a white savior moment or not.
Well, I, uh I think that was a "any kind of savior will do" moment.
- What the fuck was that? - I have no idea, but I'm telling you, a Kindle would not have had the same impact.
- Old-school.
- Old-school.
Good afternoon.
This was just delivered for you.
Oh, thanks, Joe.
Shouldn't they have called her first? - I would think.
- Well, I was pretty out of it that day.
Maybe I checked a box that said, "Please surprise me at home with my dead husband's ashes.
" - Did I make these too strong? - Not for this occasion.
Hello? Oh okay.
Thank you, Joe.
Charlotte's on her way up.
Stanford, you have to go and hide.
- Excuse me? - If she sees you two, she'll think I didn't call her.
Well, why would she think that? - Because I didn't call her.
- Is something wrong? You mean, besides the fact that Big is in that box? I didn't call her because she tends to run a little emotional, and this situation is emotional enough, so, Stanny, can ya please go hide? - Why can't Miranda hide? - Because I'm not going to.
Listen, it's Miranda's turn to sleep here.
- You're the outlier.
- I have a feeling I'm a bad hider.
It won't be that long, I promise.
I'll tell her that I'm not in the mood to talk.
I'm depressed, which I am.
- Hey.
- Miranda's here.
It's her night.
Well, I just stopped by on my way home because I went to the good magazine place today, and I brought you "British Vogue," "Spanish Vogue," and "Italian" Stanford? - Where? - He just like ran by in-into the bedroom.
Come out, Stanny.
Sorry, I went back for my martini.
I, I told you, I'm not a good hider.
Big's ashes came, and she was upset.
Okay well Here are your magazines.
Have a good night.
Wait, Charlotte.
I was very upset when his ashes arrived, so I called Stanford.
Please don't make this about you.
I'm trying really hard not to but it is pretty obvious that you're mad at me because I made you go to the recital.
There's no other possible reason that you would call Stanford over me.
- Well - Just let it go.
Okay, the truth is, I didn't call you because you get so emotional.
It's because I cried at the funeral home.
- 'Cause you're crying now.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just - You seem so mad.
- I am mad.
Mad at myself, not you.
I should've gone to the Hamptons with Big on Wednesday night.
Like I wanted to! - Everything all right out here? - Yeah, sorry, Phil.
Go inside.
Oh! Great now I'm that neighbor.
You can't blame yourself, Carrie.
You can't.
You didn't know Big was gonna have a heart attack that night.
And neither did you.
So, what's with the white designer hoodie on the old coot neighbor? And that is why I would call Stanford instead of you.
- You okay? - I'm never gonna fall asleep.
Can you give me another pill? Not for another five hours.
And just like that I learned how long five hours can be.

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