Andi Mack (2017) s03e10 Episode Script

The Quacks

1 ANDI: Previously on Andi Mack I'm failing, and I have a GPA to think about.
There is another option.
TEACHER: Good.
Strong arms! Five, six, seven and one.
CYRUS: I've made a huge mistake.
Andi, Libby.
Libby, Andi.
We didn't really break up.
We just agreed we were better as friends.
You can't break up with him.
But that's a whole other story! Look, he is a really great guy.
Please, do not break up with him because of what I said (ALL CHANTING) Will you? Will you? Will you Will I what?! Will you go to fall formal with me? No.
You guys really thought I'd say yes? I never liked all that Secret Society stuff.
- And those robes.
- And the chanting? Points for creativity! (BUFFY SCOFFS) But kind of a sick way to ask someone to a dance.
Not to mention: I don't like surprises I don't like being put on the spot and the last thing I ever wanna be is predictable.
I feel bad for the guy.
His heart was in the right place.
And you still really like him, right? (GROANS) Ehh - Hold up! - Excuse me? - CYRUS: You don't like him? - Since when? Now I really feel bad for the guy.
- What happened? - I don't want to say.
We are well past the point of not saying.
(MUMBLES) He made me shoes.
What's that? Speak up.
He made me shoes! He did? Like he made me shoes? That is so wrong.
- It is? - It's a signature move! Imagine if you'd worn those shoes to the dance.
And there were all these other girls wearing his shoes? - Ughh! - Blechh! So, you're breaking up with him, obviously.
Yeah.
We're done.
It's over.
I haven't been answering his texts, or taking his calls.
Ghosting is unreliable.
If you really want this relationship to end, you need to tell him in person.
Come on.
He knows! I'm sure he knows.
How can he not know? He's a guy.
I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't no map to follow But I'm with you all the way - I'm ready for tomorrow - Hey! - Tomorrow starts today - Hey! There ain't no map to follow But I'm with you all the way All the way (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) Ahem.
(MUSIC STOPS) What are you doing here? I reserved the studio for this hour.
What are you doing here? Rehearsing.
- What? Being electrocuted? - (SIGHS) I'm supposed to come up with an original dance for my choreography final and perform it in front of the class.
Well you have the "original" part down.
I don't know why I'm even trying.
I can't come up with any count of eight that doesn't start with jazz hands and end with me twisting my ankle.
- You need a tutor.
- I know, but it's too late.
Nobody's gonna want to take this on at the last minute.
What about me? Yeesh, fine.
"How are you, Amber?" Sorry for talking about my problems for, like, five minutes.
No, I mean I'll be your tutor.
Really? You'd do that? Why not? I mean I still owe you for all those counseling sessions.
That really wasn't professional-level counseling.
Well, it looks like this won't really be professional-level dancing.
True dat.
BOWIE: Okay I have a surprise for you guys.
Ooh! Wait.
This is it, isn't it? The surprise puppy! Ohh, the dream.
Am I ready? I'm not ready.
I want the cuddles, but not the clean-up.
- It's not a puppy.
- Oh Well, now I do feel ready.
Ta-da! - Wow - I like it! Who are the Quinns? We're the Quinns! Or, at least, we will be pretty soon.
So I'll be Andi Quinn.
Andi Quinn I like the sound of that! Well, it's your choice.
If you want your name to be that, then that's what it will be.
Don't we all want the same last name? I do.
Well, you're not the one losing yours.
I mean, does it really matter? A lot of families don't have the same last name.
Like us! We don't have the same last name right now.
It's just (BOWIE SIGHS) We're making it official.
I thought, when we do, that we'd be The Quinns.
Is that important to you? Well yeah.
I just I can't believe I didn't know this.
Then it's our family name.
And it's a sign hence, the sign that we're a unit, we're a tribe.
Together, the way that we were always meant to be.
And I think it's important we get to choose our own identity.
Including our name.
I like being a Mack.
BEX: It rhymes with a lot of stuff.
It's stitched on my bowling shirt.
It's who I am.
How do you feel? Well what if we did a mash-up? I mean, combine Quinn and Mack, and come up with our very own custom-made name! You mean like the Quacks? Yeah, that's not gonna work.
Okay! Let's warm up.
Touch your toes.
Yeah, I can't do that.
The closest I can get is my knees.
AMBER: Seriously? My grandpa can touch his toes.
Your grandpa is from a generation that played outside.
This body was built watching internet videos on a memory foam mattress.
Okay, put your arms in first position.
You mean "beach ball.
" Excuse me? That's how I memorized the arm positions.
"Fat man," "beach ball," "full moon," "big fish.
" You're kidding.
Right now you're doing "disappointed teacher.
" Okay five, six, seven, eight.
Step-touch, right step, pivot-turn, and hip hip.
No way.
That's too hard! Oh, really? Then how 'bout this? (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) Okay, show me the other one again.
Okay.
Wow.
We are going to lose so bad.
We know.
You've been saying it all week.
But I hoped we'd just lose kinda bad.
This is going to be humiliating.
Aren't you supposed to say something captain-y, like, um "All we can do is our best!" Yeah, probably.
MRS.
MENDENHALL: Hello, sorry I'm late! I brought orange slices.
Hey, Coach.
Oh, please, call me Deborah.
"Coach" is so formal, and anyhow, I don't know a thing about basketball.
Although, I was quite the superstar of my school's badminton team, the Shuttle-chicks.
Thanks for agreeing to do this.
Oh.
Let's be honest, I was your last hope.
But I want to support the first girls' basketball team ever in the history of the school! It's an important milestone! Which will forever be recorded as a bloodbath.
MRS.
MENDENHALL: Well If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know.
And please keep in mind: I am a guidance counselor first, and a basketball coach not at all.
Well, look on the bright side.
I would love to.
- What is it? - Yeah probably won't have enough girls to play at all.
What do you mean? Isn't anyone else coming? I don't think so.
- Why not? - Well, maybe because you told them we were going to lose no matter what? And that it was going to be really embarrassing? Yeah, okay, that would have been embarrassing.
But now we're going to have to forfeit, which is way worse! I can fix this.
I'll just call them.
I think something's up.
Buffy doesn't look too happy.
(CELLPHONE BEEPS) (WHISPERING) Are you still thinking about breaking up with Jonah? (SIGHS) Why? Are you guys talking about me? No! I'm going to get a drink.
Do you want anything? Do you want something to drink? I feel bad talking behind his back.
We're not talking behind his back.
We are talking in front of his face.
I know I can't believe it! No one's coming! Not "no one.
" Four of us showed up.
Four would be great if we were bobsledding, but we need five to play basketball! (WHISTLE BLOWS) We only need one more player.
Just one (GIGGLES) Found her.
Come on.
You're playing.
What? I don't know how to play basketball! Then you'll fit right in.
- What's going on there? - No idea.
Nice to see you.
You've gotten really good at that.
I really like talking with my hands.
Turns out, this hand will give it to you straight.
But this hand is a silver-tongued devil.
Will you ask Libby if she's mad at me? Sure.
Are you mad at Jonah? What did she say? You should really learn sign language.
I know, I know, but what did she say? That is what she said.
You.
Should.
Learn.
Sign language.
Oh I'm sorry Can you tell her "I'm sorry"? He's sorry.
I don't get it.
I thought texting was working fine.
It was "fine.
" Fine to start with, but you two have been going out for awhile.
She's probably wondering why you haven't leveled up, so that you can talk face to face.
So, why didn't she just say that? She has been saying that.
You just haven't bothered to learn enough sign to get it.
I know.
You're right.
She's right.
Why haven't you tried to learn? I don't know.
Yes, you do.
You just haven't asked yourself the question.
Professionally, my stepmom calls it "avoidance.
" At home, she calls it "that thing Dad does when he golfs.
" I guess I'm afraid I'll be bad at it.
What if I say something wrong and look stupid? You won't look stupid.
And even if you do you'll look like you care enough to try.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, I thought we should talk after yesterday's "Quinn-cident.
" (CHUCKLES) "Quinn-cident.
" - Nice.
- Yeah, yeah.
But seriously.
It made me think there might be other things we should talk about before the wedding, just to make sure we're both in agreement on the important stuff.
I'm down.
What are these for? Well, I thought we could take turns asking questions, and we both write down an answer.
We won't read them until we're done, that way we'll know they're honest.
Cool.
I'm ready.
Okay.
You ask first.
Anything? Anything.
Calzones a genius invention, or just a good way to burn your mouth? Bowie! Be serious! You know I hate calzones.
The cheese is always the temperature of the sun.
Okay, okay, um Do you want to live in Shadyside forever? Ohh.
- Good one.
- Thanks.
(SCRIBBLING) Hey! - No peeking! - Sorry.
Okay, fine.
My turn.
Would you ever want to have more kids? Whoa! Coming in hot! Like a calzone, baby.
This is just a yes or no question, right? (CROWD CHEERING) Remind me again why I'm doing this? Because you're a good friend.
I know.
Question is, are you? (WHISTLE BLOWS) (PHOTRONIQUE FEAT.
ROBYN JOHNSON, "TRY IF YA WANNA") ANDI: Ugh! (WHISTLE BLOWS) You know you're liking what I do Starin' in your mirror wishin' you could do it too Umm sorry you really can't booboo I'd have to find another hobb if I did it like you You mad? I'm only tellin' you the truth If I didn't say nothin' you'd be like, "she rude!" Well If u can't stand the burn Take yourself up out the kitchen (WHISTLE BLOWS) (Game over) You can try if u wanna You can even say a prayer if you wanna You say you never cry but you're gonna Be careful never say what you won't do So If u really tryna win it (Win it) Betta get'cho head up in it (In it) How you like bein' defeated Don't even bother 'cause I already beat it game over Winner style, they tryna leave before I put my bags down (Game over) Why u runnin' now U can let it out tell me what you cryin bout (Game over) What's wrong u scared I know, I know, I know this really ain't fair Don't try to take a turn It's already said and done It's a total shut down and I already won Game over All right, you called it.
This is a bloodbath.
Time out! Game over (CHEERING) I only have one thing to say.
Look, Buffy, we're really try Thank you.
For what? For showing up.
I haven't been a great captain.
Scratch that I've been a terrible captain.
I was so afraid to lose, and I thought losing was the worst thing ever.
But it's not.
Today, we almost didn't get to play.
Look at that! KAITLIN: Knew it was bad.
Didn't know it was that bad.
The score doesn't matter! What matters is that we are on that scoreboard! We are here, and we are on the court, and we are playing basketball! Because you showed up.
That's what matters.
That's all that matters! Now let's go out there and lose! (ALL CHEER) (CHANTING) Buffy! Buffy! Buffy (WHISTLE BLOWS) That was my first huddle! I didn't know they were so fun! (CHEERING) Shoot! You got this! quit tryna start somethin' If you don't have a clue Yes! (CHEERING) nothing to say We never back down (CHEERING) You should know We never back down Whoa! Ow All right, go get 'em! You should know We never back down Take no bodies take take no bodies Take no bodies take no bodies Take no bodies take no bodies - (BUZZER) - (CHEERING) (SCREAMING AND CHEERING) I can't believe Andi scored! Wait, why is the other team cheering for her, too? Because it was their basket.
Oh Still! Wooo! You should know We don't take no bodies take take no bodies (SIGHS) (EXHALES) - Can I be honest? - Yes.
You're quite good at it.
I'm really surprised.
- Same here.
- We are shockingly compatible.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) I mean, there's still some stuff we need to work on.
But most of the big things, we got those right.
It's so nice we both want the same things.
I know.
But how are we going to get them? Nope! Don't answer.
That's for another day, for another pad of paper.
No more rounds of the Not-Yet-Newlyweds game.
I have one more question.
(GROANS) What did I just say-ay-ay-ay! - Hey! Who wants pizza? - We both do! That is correct! Oh, no, no Will you teach me sign language? Yes! I like you.
I like you too? too.
(LAUGHS) Too.
- You got this.
- Definitely.
If "this" is a big case of the noodle knees.
- Just remember what I told you.
- Right.
You worked too hard for me to blow this.
Exactly.
Also, you'll be great.
- Showtime! - (CYRUS GULPS) I used to worry 'bout the little things But little things mean a lot Every night starin' at the same walls Wonderin' if it's all I got I just need a helping hand It seems to end before it has begun When yesterday used to be so good But now I've come a little undone But then she said Everything's gonna be alright The sun's gonna shine real bright You gotta dance like you just don't care Ohh It'll never get you anywhere (APPLAUSE) - Another surprise? - Trust me, you'll like this one.
What did we learn about assuming things? Okay, I, uh, hope that you'll like it.
Oh, yay, a new sign.
"The Macks"? What'd you think? I like it but now, your name won't be on the door.
Yes, it will.
Because I'm gonna change it.
You're looking at the future Mr.
Bowie Mack.
(SCOFFS HAPPILY) - Really? - Yeah! Come on, we're a tribe.
Yeah we are! What do you think? You're really sure you want to be one of us? Only if it's forever.
(EXHALES HAPPILY) Hey, it's me.
Um, but look, so, the last time I saw you I don't think I handled things very well.
Listen, this is really hard for me to say over the phone.
Can we please meet up? Sure, we can do that.
ANDI: Next on Andi Mack CYRUS: Shiva's about friends and family being together to comfort one another and share stories.
That sounds like a really nice thing to do when you've just lost someone.
(CELLPHONE VIBRATING) Sorry.
- Who was that? - Nobody! I'll be right back.
I read that people bring food to a Shiva.
- Bowie made a kugel.
- It's a shanda.
It's delicious! - No! A shanda is a disgrace.
- Wow (HYPERVENTILATING) Hey, you're okay.
You know what this is, it's a panic attack.
It will end yes, it will!
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