Andi Mack (2017) s03e17 Episode Script

Arts And Inhumanities

1 BOWIE: Previously on Andi Mack What if I said it for real, told him, "I love you"? I don't know if that's such a good idea.
- ANDI: Hey.
- Hey.
Do you want to split a milkshake at The Spoon? No.
Amber might be working.
- Are you avoiding her? - Yeah.
- Why? - She loves me.
- How do you know that? - She told me.
Why can't it just be fun? Why does it have to be love? I'm glad you called.
I missed you.
I should probably tell you that I have a girlfriend.
- I'm really happy for you.
- (LAUGHS) So, can we be friends again? Now that the pressure's off? - "Trashing Stereotypes.
" - What do you think? This is what you've been working so hard on? This isn't the best angle to see it from.
It looks better from up here.
- BUFFY: Andi.
- CYRUS: Wow.
- BUFFY: That's - CYRUS: Stupendous.
I didn't know you could do this.
This is gonna change your life, you know.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) Wow.
- Andi.
- What? I can't I mean - You made this.
- Yes.
Are you done? Can we go? No! There's a lot to look at.
Your hair, what is that made of? ANDI: Oh.
It's the prison uniforms you gave us - for the dress code protest.
- I'm in there.
(GASPS) Excuse me.
Hi.
She made this.
I'm in there.
- (GIRL CHUCKLES) - Hi.
Sorry.
Mom, don't.
You're being such a dance mom.
I can't help it.
I'm bursting with pride.
Like, literally, I feel like that could happen.
- (LAUGHS) - Where did you learn to do this? Nowhere.
It's basically a collage.
It's not "basically" anything.
This is a work of art.
(SCOFFS) It's not art.
Art is Picasso, and - What's his name, who cut off his ear? - Van Gogh? Yeah, him.
And the painting that's all the drips.
There seem to some gaps in the Jefferson Middle School art curriculum.
I'm a craft person.
I make beaded bracelets and duct tape wallets, and I turn neckties into headbands.
It's not art.
It's just stuff you can learn on the internet.
Which brings me back to my question: Where did you learn to do this? I don't know.
I just did it.
Excuse me.
Are you the artist? Yes, she is.
See? See? - He called you an artist.
- All right.
Time to go.
(THEME SONG PLAYING) I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh Has blown away Life is upside down But any way it go-oh-ohs I'll work it out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Here we go One, two, three! I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way - I'm ready for tomorrow - Hey! - Tomorrow starts today - Hey! - There ain't a map to follow - Hey! - But I'm with you all the way - Hey! All the way We only have the lane for an hour.
According to my research, a bowling ball should be approximately ten percent of your body weight.
Does it really matter when you're using bumpers? - I'm gonna put our name in the thing.
- Put me down as Bumper Boy.
- Really? - I'm owning my truth.
(CLATTERING) Buf-fay! Mar-tay! What's up with the limp? What's up with that haircut? Seriously, are you okay? - Hi.
I'm Buffy.
- Rachel.
This is Rachel, my girlfriend.
- Oh.
You're real! - (BOTH LAUGH) I'm sorry, what? You know, Marty told me he had a girlfriend, and I'm like, oh, do you? - Where is she? Canada? - (LAUGHS) Did you say that I was in Canada? - No, no.
It's, like, a joke.
- It's a it's a thing people say.
If you don't believe they have a girlfriend - 'Cause Canada.
- (BOTH LAUGH) BOTH: Never mind.
I should get back.
It was nice to meet you.
Your foot.
It's just sore.
It's getting better.
- Who are you texting? - Her.
Why? She's right here.
It's the name and number of a foot doctor.
- I don't need to see a doctor.
- Well, you do.
Can we bowl now? Okay, yeah.
Let's bowl.
- That was unpleasant.
- What was? Meeting Marty's girlfriend.
I mean, I'm happy for him.
- I'd hold off on that.
- Why? How could you say that? How did she know? And who is she? - Is that about you? - No.
(SCOFFS) I barely said anything - You must have said something.
- Well, I made a joke about Canada.
Oh, sure.
Blame Canada.
It's always Canada's fault.
- Did you pick a ball? - Yes.
It's one of these five.
I just can't stop livin' this daydream I sit here waiting for you after school Swingin' on the porch and playin' pool I know that someday soon I'll hear you say Got one.
(STRUMMING SIMPLE MELODY) - Writing me a song? - Amber! Just kidding about writing me a song.
Although, if you wanted to, a lot of great words rhyme with Amber.
Slander, commander, gerrymander What are you doing here? Besides pitching words that don't rhyme with Amber.
I thought we could hang out.
I tried texting you.
Is something wrong with your phone? I hope not.
(SCOFFS) It was on silent.
(MUTTERING): I must've just clicked the wrong button.
Jonah, can I ask, and please be honest, are things okay? Things are fine.
I mean, with you and me.
Oh.
Things are fine! Sometimes I read too much into stuff.
But it feels like they're not.
My phone really was on silent.
Never mind.
I'm just being paranoid.
- Can I listen to you practice? - Yeah.
It's just that I'm meeting up with Cyrus.
Not to hang.
He's teaching me to play chess.
Chess? I didn't know you were interested in that.
Oh, yeah.
For a while now.
I mean, I've gone as far as I can with checkers, so now I want to learn how to chess.
(LAUGHS) You don't seem like a chess guy.
Well, I'm not, but watch this space.
- Maybe tomorrow? - Text me.
- Don't leave your phone on silent.
- Ha.
Ha.
(DOOR CLOSES) (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Did you get my email? Nobody uses email.
Just check your email.
ANDI: Okay.
What am I looking at? BEX: Shadyside Academy of Visual Arts.
SAVA.
- BEX: Do you know what this place is? - ANDI: It's an art school.
It's a high school.
What? -These things were made by kids not much older than you.
I think you should apply.
I have to apply to high school? Well, it's a magnet school.
But with your GPA, you'll get in! Think about it, but quickly.
This is due by the end of the month.
"Upload your portfolio.
" Next.
"List any awards you've received.
" Well I was voted "most helpful" at day camp.
"Please provide three recommendations from your art instructors.
" Well that was fun.
(SIGHS) One order of wings, with a side of taco tots.
Thanks.
MARTY: Buffy is just a friend, I swear.
RACHEL: Marty, she's interested in you.
I can tell.
MARTY: I promise you, she's not interested in me.
RACHEL: How do you know? Did you ask her? - It was a long time ago.
- I knew it! - Before I even met you! - I knew you liked her! MARTY: We're just friends.
Is my food almost ready? But you wish you were with her instead of me.
No! Can Can we please just This is torture.
Rachel, don't I'm sorry I said that, Rachel.
- Don't go - (PAINED CRY) - (BUFFY GASPS) - Buffy? Marty I'm fine.
I'm out.
He's dead.
Mm! Please tell me whatever I'm smelling is ready to eat.
- First I have to shave.
- What? - Some cheese! - Oh! (BOWIE LAUGHS) Why do you pretend to fall for that every time? Look how happy it makes him.
(ALL LAUGHING) Hey.
Did you fill out your application? What application? - For SAVA.
- Andi's going to art school next year.
- (GASPS) - No, I'm not.
Because no.
I didn't.
- Andi! - Mom! I don't have a portfolio.
I've never won an award.
And three letters of recommendation from art instructors? (SIGHS) I guess I could ask the lady who taught our Brownie troop how to shellac a picture to a piece of wood.
Does she really need to go to art school? She has AndiShack.
- Thank you.
- Well, you haven't seen this place.
- Neither have you.
- Yeah, I have.
You've seen the website.
Everything looks good online.
What, are they gonna put the ugly pictures up? So neither one of you have actually seen this place? - No.
- No.
I don't know, call me crazy, but I think that might be helpful.
(SIGHS) Serving you Bolognese with a side of wisdom.
Hope you ladies are appreciating me tonight.
- BEX: Gah! - (BOWIE GIGGLING) I'm just saying, if you have this ring that's all-powerful, and it'll do whatever you want, and everyone's trying to steal it from you, why not just tell the ring, "Take out the bad guys"? Because it's not how the ring works.
One ring to bore them all.
- Look, there's Amber.
- Where? - Hey, Amber! - Don't! Uh um, there's something I should have told you.
Hey, guys.
No lesson today? - Lesson? - That's where we're going right now.
How's he doing? Well, um Good question.
How would you say you're doing? It's going slow.
I'm not very good at chess.
Probably gonna need a lot of lessons.
Today he's teaching me about the horses.
I think you mean knights? Like I said not very good.
Well, good luck.
(LAUGHS) Please explain.
I told Amber you're teaching me how to play chess.
- Why? - I had to.
She's getting so clingy.
Tiny snag.
I don't know how to play chess.
I'm not really taking lessons.
AMBER: Thanks for seeing me.
It's been a really rough week, and I just needed to talk some stuff out.
Anytime, Amber.
Let's dive in.
Yes.
Let's.
Our time is limited.
I think we should focus on why you're here.
This is why I'm here.
It's your hour.
Do you want to be black or white? I'll take white.
Ladies first.
Actually white always goes first.
Right.
I belong to a small subset of players trying to get that rule changed, but, um if, uh, we're being traditionalists Did you know that I played chess competitively up through sixth grade? I did not.
I had to stop, though.
The tournament leagues were just so time-consuming.
I bet.
Checkmate.
Really? There's nothing I can do here? Now that's impressive.
You don't know how to play chess.
And you didn't come here for a counseling session.
Jonah lied to me.
That's bad enough.
But you stood there and let him.
- I'm so sorry, Amber.
- Why would you do that? Jonah's my friend.
- What about me? - You're my friend, too.
The one it's okay to lie to.
Amber, wait.
Stop.
- Let's talk about this.
- I wish I could, Cyrus.
But I can't talk to you, about how you treated me.
(SIGHS) (GASPS) Ow.
(SIGHS) (GASPS) - Did you call the doctor? - Yes.
- No, you didn't.
- I'm going to.
You know, you could do permanent damage to your foot Marty.
Please don't tell me how to live my life.
I don't tell you how to live yours.
You don't have to.
Because I'm responsible, and I do everything right.
That's one opinion.
For instance, I broke up with Rachel.
No, you didn't.
You're right.
She broke up with me, but I'm totally fine with it.
It wasn't over me, I hope.
Oh, no.
You told her we were just friends, didn't you? (SCOFFS) Only a million times.
She just kept insisting that I still like you.
Which, don't worry, I don't.
(SCOFFS) Huh.
Why not? It's like you said, we really work as friends.
(BELL RINGS) - You coming? - Uh, yeah.
(SIGHS) - Um, you better go.
- (WHISPERS): Call Yes, I will call the doctor.
Why run away from The things that make us what we are? I'll take my own path A spirit guide will lead the way I'll miss the day Breakin', breakin' Time slips away Jonah, wait up! Look at you.
No wheezing.
Thank you for noticing.
I can occasionally take stairs two at a time now.
- If my shoes are tied.
- (LAUGHS) In other much, much more relevant news, Amber figured out that I'm not giving you chess lessons.
She did? Great.
Okay, now I need some other excuse why I can't hang out with her.
- Help me think of something.
- AMBER: I have an idea.
- Amber! - Amber! Why don't you just break up with me? Obviously, I'm leaving.
- I just want you to know - I do know, Cyrus.
I'm not mad at you.
I'm so sorry for lying to you.
Your friendship is really important to me.
Let's talk over here.
And I know that you trusted me, and I really hope that I haven't lost that trust.
- Amber - Please.
Don't say anything.
I already know it's gonna be something I don't want to hear.
- I'm sorry.
- Like that.
- I didn't want to hurt you.
- You're just making it worse.
- I hope we can still be friends.
- (SCOFFS) What are you, reading from cue cards? Future reference, Jonah, next time you dump someone, you could be nice about it.
You don't have to drag it out, and then lie to them, and then make them feel like an idiot for caring about you so much.
I'm I'm sorry.
Yeah.
You already said that.
So, what do you think? I think it's impressive.
I know.
(SIGHS) How hard do you think it is to get in? I don't know.
We should probably look that up.
I think you were right about this place.
I really wanna go here.
I think this is where I belong.
Then okay.
You still think I can get in, right? Of course.
(SIGHS) This is day one, Turn the music on, hear the drummers drum Reach up, put 'em high, so alive This is day one, one, one This is day one, one, one, one, one BUFFY: Next on Andi Mack - Something on your mind? - I finished my application to SAVA.
Andi, that's fantastic.
ANDI: But I'm not sure I'm going to submit it.
- Boo! - (GASPS) - What was that? - I have to make a decision.
About what? I don't want to tell you, because it might not happen.
Oh, no.
- What is that? - A stress fracture.
Which means the chances of winning our last game have majorly narrowed to zero.
What is it? It's my way of helping out from the bench.
Shoot!