Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) s01e01 Episode Script


Vegetables have threaten man for generations.
I have obtained funds to solve this vegetable nightmare.
- Hey, um - Behold! Uh, Dr.
Weird? I thought that grant was for something to like cure diseases The grant? What is that? - Uh - Shut up.
Behold! The Rabbot! Um, Dr.
Weird Now bring me my large french perfume and spray him in the eyes because thats how it happened to me! Now you feel pretty don't you? The Rabbot! My creation! What has science done?! What happened to my freaking car?! Good morning, Carl.
How's it going? Oh, yeah.
Good morning to you there, Mr.
food monster, this is hows it's going.
Look at my freaking car.
It is crushed to bejesus and back.
Have you gotten any estimates? Aw, for the freaking-I just found it this way! I just walked out here for freaking sake! Carl.
It's ok.
It's cool man.
I'm a detective.
Clear the crime scene and let me think! Meteors did it! That'll be 20 dollars.
- Hey, Carl.
- Great, we got the fry-man up there.
I have not called for you, Frylock.
What are you doing here? I live here.
Well, quit hovering.
I am the leader! Man, your car is messed up.
How are you going to get to work, Carl? I work out of the home.
Frylock, send Carl to work! Then we shall solve this mystery and make 20 dollars! Do no point that fry thing at me.
Aw, geez Quickly Carl, the ray is upon you.
Where do you work? I done told you, I work out of the home.
Now stop with the freak beam! - Send Carl to the home, then! - To the home! Stay out of my pool! Ow my hip! My hip Ok.
That'll be 20 dollars.
So, what now, Shake? We shall solve the mystery from Carl's Pool.
Don't go in my pool.
Go to the bank.
This is a fun pool.
I do like splashing.
Playing is for pleasure.
We should have a pool.
Make us one from the sky.
I command it! Yeah.
Yeah I'll do that.
Seriously, I do command it.
I wonder who killed Carl's car.
A car cannot be killed! It was murdered by someone who is jealous of Carl's ability to drive.
Jealousy is the motivation! Wake the Meatwad! Man, everybody knows meat don't sleep! Who-who-who-whoa! Wake up, Meatwad! Good Morning, Frylock, how you doing? Good Morning, Meatwad.
This is a good beat, why ain't you dancing? Dancing is forbidden.
It is mystery time we have a case to solve.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force assemble! - Now look.
- Can I go swimming? It's clear to me that meteors have destroyed Carl's car.
- Can I go swimming? - But he's committed to give us 20 dollars.
- Can I go swimming? - So what I propose we do - is to spend that money now.
- Can I go swimming? Before he has time to take it back.
And we're going to spend it on what? - Candies.
- Hey, Master Shake, can I go swimming? Look Meatwad.
This is Carl's pool, not yours.
You can't just decide to go swimming whenever you want.
But you're swimming right now.
What I'm doing is merely swirling the water about.
That's not a crime! Uh, Shake.
We swam enough now, haven't we? Shouldn't we get going on this mystery? Let's do it tomorrow.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow.
We'll do it now.
Fine! Aqua Teens assemble cause Frylock baby has to have it! Come on! Today.
Hey, it's going down.
Keep pressing it.
Keep pressing it! - Why do you keep pressing it? - I'm not doing anything.
Well, hoorah.
Now I have to go to the bathroom.
You know you don't have a bathroom, baby.
Where are we going? Shut your deformed mouth, Meatwad, before I nail it shut.
I will be the one asking the questions.
Come on! Go! Will you just go?! My Frydar is picking up an unusual scent off Carl's car.
It is the scent of jealousy.
It smells to me like perfume.
What? What did I just tell you? I was not put on this earth to listen to meat.
Frylock, were you? - It is perfume.
- Didn't think so.
Whoever killed Carl's car was smelling real good.
Whatever, just follow it.
Come on! The scent! Do it! Slow down, Meatwad! You'll get us all killed! You want to get us all killed? Because you're gonna do it.
Keep going the way you're going.
Oh, yeah.
Keep going.
The scent seems to be coming from that mall.
I know.
- Alright! I want some jeans! - I'm the one that wants some jeans! What are you doing? What's taking so long? Why are we still here? I'm analyzing the scent.
How did you get back there? That's for sales persons only.
I wanna get back there.
Get me back there.
Take the meat bridge.
It's right here.
Meat bridge? No.
Well, fine.
Don't take the meat bridge.
How close are we to avenging the death of Carl's car and please say soon, because I am bored.
A large quantity of hair growth formula is missing from this counter.
Well, as long as we don't go back to the lab.
I need to go back to the lab.
God! That'll take a thousand hours! What sort of twisted fiend would need this much hair growth formula.
It's a perfume counter! Obviously, a woman did it! Now let's go! Oooh.
Hey, Frylock look at this! You get away from that.
That's an emergency exit and if you set the alarm and get everyone of us in trouble you'll be the one to go to prison.
Not us! That could be a clue.
It has nothing to do with this! What's the matter with you.
I found it.
You'll find the back of my hand very displeasing.
- Now roll on over here.
- No, I'm not.
- Right next to my hand.
- I ain't done nothing to you! Why are these jeans all covered in hair? Why is anything anything? That is the style from L.
And that is where my manager lives.
And my agent.
Ok? The case is solved.
The case is solved.
Yeah, right.
Shake aren't you even curious about the hole in the wall, the hairy jeans, all that missing - hair growth formula? - No, I don't think so.
The case is solved.
It was meteors.
Meteors did it.
I thought you said a woman did it.
A woman, a meteor, whatever.
Carl doesn't know! We're the detectives.
Shake, did you see that? That Afro pick? Yes! And it's mine.
I called it! Get away! Whoa! No! No! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna Oh, no! I'm beatiful! Oh, look at me Frylock! I'm beautiful.
I like the length.
Makes me look a little wild.
Look, that rabbit is the thing that killed Carl's car and we need to stop it.
Heres the plan.
Indigo is right across the street from here.
Ok? - The hair salon.
- Yes.
And I'm gonna go over there and see if they can squeeze me in for a perm.
But when I get back, this rabbits going down.
- Yeah, thanks Shake.
Thanks a lot, buddy.
- Take care, I'll be back in an hour.
- Meatwad! - What? What's going on? - Hey, can I get my jambox? - Maybe later.
Maybe now - I'm gonna go get my jambox! - No, Meatwad! Not the jambox! Everybody likes dancing, Frylock! Doo-doo-dee-doo.
Good going, Meatwad.
You've tamed him with your greasy dance of joy.
I leave for 45 minutes and this is what happens? Frylock, burn the rabbit down.
I don't think we need to do that.
He's just dancing.
Do it Frylock, because I said so! - Whoa! - Aaagh! - Sorry.
- Way to go.
Way to go.
- You ok? - Does it look like I'm ok? Stand back and I shall destroy him! Shake Power Activate! Now come over here and slip on it if you dare, rabbit.
- Now set the trap, Frylock! - Trap? What trap? - Go get a trap.
- I didn't bring no trap.
- What trap you talking about? - Come on! Let's go! Let's go! He's gonna kill us! Things is looking shady for the Aqua Teens! I have called this meeting to say that downtown is no longer safe.
So in short, we need to pick some new restaurants and night clubs.
Get out of my freaking pool!