Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) s02e03 Episode Script

Super Bowl

Wait for the drum roll! - Meatwad, are you in here? - I'm in here.
- You're gonna spoil your dinner, boy.
- Dinner? This is my dinner.
- A jumbo bag of Enchiladitos? - Yep.
Enchiladitos they make you want to eat 'em I'll have you know that I've been in there cooking a three-bean casserole Quick question here.
Is it Zesty Ranch flavor? No, it's bean-flavored.
Yuck City.
Have fun eating it, 'cause I'm eating this.
You're gonna stunt your growth Quiet now.
I need complete, total silence.
Otherwise, I'm not gonna be able to execute this here cheese procedure.
What is that stink in the kitchen? Because if that Enchiladitos! Where did you How did - I got them at the store.
- You're not allowed out there.
- Precious Ranch dust! - That's my dust there.
You give it back.
What are these, temporary tattoos? - Get them out of here! - Don't throw them away.
- I gotta lick that dust off of them.
- My goodness! Meatwad, you've just won two tickets to the Super Bowl.
Yeah, I believe you.
- Yeah, right.
- You're bluffing.
He is.
Look at him.
He's sweating.
Congratulations, consumer.
You're going to the Super Bowl.
Give me those! They're mine! I won them! I bought the bag.
- I get the bag and everything inside it.
- And you have the bag.
You're a deep sea diver.
Go drink some salt water.
Shake, Meatwad bought the chips.
The tickets are his.
- Is that right? - Yeah, that's right.
No one escapes the From the - Alcatraz.
- Congratulations, Meatwad.
You and a friend are going to the Super Bowl.
Don't that kick a little ass? Wait.
I ain't got no friends.
I'm your friend.
I'm going to the Super Bowl with you.
We better hide them tickets.
God, this is so gross.
What? Good morning.
- What are you doing? - I didn't leave my keys in here.
I'm such a silly This must be the wrong place.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good - Stay down, fool! - You looking for something? - Yeah, are you looking for something? - Just everlasting peace.
Look, I shrunk the tickets down and injected them into my bloodstream.
I said to hide them, not get them all bloody.
You know, you didn't have to do that.
I'm not an animal.
I don't eat my own crap.
I mean, I have standards.
Shut up.
Can I help you? You're not Mr.
Jones, Room 302.
Where are my charts? No charts? Somebody's fired.
I gotta fire someone.
I'm just gonna shut the door behind me.
You go back to bed, you trooper.
Carl, how you doing? Just the man I want to see there.
I heard through the grapevine that someone won a big prize recently.
- Yep.
I got two tickets to the Super Ball.
- No, it's "bowl".
That's cute that you said that, 'cause you're a freaking idiot.
I got a pigskin here.
Let's wing it around.
Know what I'm saying? Pig skin? Yes.
They strip the skin off of little pigs and then pour vinegar all over their little pumping organs all for a game.
Get your meat ass out here and have some fun with me.
Get away from my buddy.
He's my good friend.
But if you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it up and down.
Look, it's a super ball, like you said.
It's what they use in the You know, where we're going.
You're going.
You won the tickets, right? You This is the one that won the tickets, right? Okay, so you got the ball now.
You want to wrap your You know, that stretchy little sticky thing.
- Like this? - No.
- What about this? - No, not like that either.
- How about this? - Sure, whatever.
It's going right in the trash after this.
So, yeah, let her rip.
Yeah, hooray! We won.
Who are you taking to the Super Bowl? - I guess I'll take my best friend.
- I mean, that's me, right? I mean, who just threw the ball with you that - you know, that one time I did.
- That's all nice and everything but I'll tell you how you can be a better friend.
You can heat that pool up like a Jacuzzi.
It'd be real nice.
Yeah, I could do that.
But I could turn that hose on, and you could, sort of, you know - flip around in the sprinkler.
- Yeah, that'd be fun if I was stupid.
- Heat the whole pool.
- I'll see what I can do there.
Hi! Little buddy! How's my favorite little man doing? Come here.
Give me a Stand by me.
Tell you what, my shoulders sure do ache from throwing that ball so hard.
You don't have shoulders.
You'd be lucky to have I mean, let me rub them for you.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Why you got them oven mitts on? I ain't touching you skin-to-skin.
I mean, it's extra padding.
You know? It's for your pleasure.
I'm not entirely comfortable with the level of asbestos in these mitts.
Just take deep breaths.
Breathe it in.
Die! Give me those tickets! Why do you get to go? You don't know what it is.
What's going on? What are you doing to him? How's your alignment feel now? Is that straight? Yes, thank you.
That does feel better.
I'm such a butterfingers.
Boy, I wonder who should I get to go with me to the Super Bowl, Frylock? It could be you, if you know which buttons to push.
I'm not that much of a sports fan, really.
- Why? Is it a sporting event? - Yeah.
I mean, yes, it is a sporting event.
It's the biggest football game of the year.
Tell you what.
You give me that there computer, and maybe you'll get to go with me.
- I really don't want to go.
- Super Bowl is in Detroit this year.
- Oh, boy.
- Yep.
- The home of RoboCop.
- I don't want to go to the Super Bowl.
Good, you won't get to, 'cause I'm taking my best friend which is not you at the moment because you yelled at me.
Fine with me.
Maybe I could shrink you and put you into my bloodstream Get the hell out of here! Look who just got a minibike.
Look who just insulted me with this 10-horsepower piece of crap.
You think I'm a child? Don't look at the streamers.
Look at the frame.
- This is a man's bike.
- Keep her cranked.
Let me go get my dolly.
How we doing, Carl? Is that pool heated yet? Still kind of harping on that? You know, this little area right here is pretty warm.
Come on, hop in.
Pee wherever.
I know you do that.
You're not doing the job I asked you to do.
- I still see ice.
That is a problem to me.
- Okay, time-out here.
Something I need to say, you know.
Ever since my son was never conceived because I never had consensual sex without money involved I always sort of looked at you as Well, kind of a thing that I could, you know live next to in accordance with state laws.
That's so sweet.
You're trying to say that you love me.
Let's not put people on the spot here.
Who are you taking to that freaking Super Bowl? Carl, your finger.
Shake, what are you doing? I'm getting those other tickets to the Super Bowl.
Maybe I'll take you, but I doubt it.
You played your cards wrong.
- You backed the wrong pony.
- Why not just dump them all out, Shake? You don't have to eat all the chips.
But they're so delicious.
They torture me.
And when I win, I'm gonna sit next to him and ride his ass 'cause I'm not kissing his ass for one more second.
- Hey, y'all.
- How's that minibike treating you, sport? I gotta get that back to the place by 5:00, so, you know, you have fun within reason.
Forget it.
I'm done now.
This hog ain't got enough torque for this man.
Torque? I'll torque Get over here in my hands.
I think we need to go get you to a doctor.
What I need to go see is the Super Bowl.
Don't play with my emotions.
Who are you taking? - Yeah, who are you taking? - How did you get in here? The window, jackass.
Who are you taking? This is a box.
Are you out of your freaking mind? You'll get arrested.
Gentlemen, meet my new best friend Boxy Brown.
Meet your new dead best friend.
Step back.
You best listen to Boxy, now.
He don't play.
Listen to what? He's imaginary, for You don't even like feetball.
I'm the number one super fan.
See y'all later.
I'm going to the Super Bowl.
Down in Motown.
You see what I'm saying? - Have fun, Meatwad.
- Fine! Go to the Super Bowl, you frigging Have fun having empties thrown into your best friend all day.
I don't feel good.
Carl, will you grab Shake's other hand? We need to get him to a clinic.
Yeah, sure.
I'll do that.
- Carl, are you being sarcastic? - No, I'm not.
Carl, you're one crazy Great.
Now I got diabetes.
The game just started.
What a contest.
55-3 in the first quarter.
Shut it off.
Did you hear me? - The doctor said I have cancer.
- Is that the ticket? Call a cab.
Let's go, come on.
We gotta get to the airport.
We are back.
That was fun, wasn't it, Boxy? Sure was, brother.
We raised the roof all up in there.
- But the tickets are right here.
- I know.
They didn't even want them.
They just sort of, you know, kind of pecked at us like a bunch of chickens.
Sure did, and they was chickens, my man.
It was a hen hizzy.
No, they're professionals.
I doubt they'd use chickens.
- Chickens? - Fool, do not make him repeat himself.
We got to drink milk straight from a cow and then pet a goat, and that goat that goat snatched Boxy's arm off, I tell you.
Sure did, that goat.
There's really no telling where you've been, now, is there? Yep, Super Bowls are fun.
We got bragging rights this year.
- Number one.
- Who? Who's number one? - I don't know.
- You don't know because you went to a farm, you imbecile! Get back here! You cost me my one chance! I got diabetes and cancer because of you!