Are We There Yet? (2010) s01e02 Episode Script

The Credit Check Episode

Hey, honey.
What you workin' on? Wedding invitations for two optometrists.
I need to finish another hundred of these things.
What is this? Oh, it's called micro calligraphy.
How's anybody supposed to read that? We put a magnifier on top.
Nice, right? Wow.
If I'd have known you could make something this small look this big, I'd have got you a smaller ring in one of these boxes.
Aren't you supposed to be working? I wanted to talk to you about me getting a new SUV for work.
Okay, what's wrong with the old one? I need something more practical than that pimpmobile.
Nick, don't you remember we just bought a new house? We haven't even been on a honeymoon yet.
I need this, Suzanne.
Hold on.
You see this? This is a giant pile of bills.
Of course it looks giant.
You're wearing magnifying goggles.
Electric, gas, water, insurance, ooh, "urgent and confidential.
" We owe so much on this one, they won't even tell us what it is.
That's it? No? Just like that? It is not just like that.
Nick, we don't have any extra money, so you're just gonna have to unpimp your ride.
Are we there yet? tell me, tell me, tell me tell me, are we there yet? You know, I'm glad I got married, but I don't know if I can get used to asking if I can spend my own money.
It's on.
She's got reasons she doesn't want to do what you want her to do.
You have to show her the reasons why she should-- I thought I did that.
You didn't do it; You tried to do that, a common source of frustration amongst married couples.
You're gonna want to switch over to shotgun there.
See, you got to present the pros and the cons and convince her that you having this car is in her best interest, kind of like the way I convinced you to let me crash here last night.
Yeah, 'cause it was in my best interest not to have you crying on the phone at 2:00 in the morning.
Gigi still coming over tomorrow? Yes, indeed.
You will die now.
She's dropping off an autographed Jersey, a Michael Vick Atlanta Falcons Jersey.
You mean the Eagles.
No, no, Falcons.
I got a guy who collects fallen athlete memorabilia.
My man's got it all.
He's got Rae Carruth's Panthers Jersey, a Darryl Henley Rams Jersey.
He's got a Bob Probert Jersey.
Bob Probert? Hockey player.
Quiet as it's kept, white guys mess up too.
You do realize that's just a video game, right? And you do realize those people on your Facebook page aren't your friends, right? "Why "Is "My "Brother An idiot?" Post.
Who the heck is Vin-man? Me.
Ke-Vin, Vin-man.
It's my tournament name.
I won my first two rounds.
I'm trying to get back to playing this kid called the tin man.
He beat me in straight sets last time.
I'm not letting that happen again.
Wow! Nice shot for an idiot.
I'll take that as a compliment.
So when's the big match? Tomorrow.
You comin'? To your fake tennis match? Sure.
Bring your fake friends.
What? Your skin is amazing.
Even under 20 times magnification, all I see are pores, and it looks smooth as glass.
Thank you.
What? Mm.
There must be a-a smudge in these goggles.
What are you doing? There's a little bit of hair.
I'm gonna get it.
Uh-uh, no.
What? It could be a start of a mustache.
I do not have a mustache.
Not yet, but it's like you got a little sleeper cell in your face trying to take down your upper lip.
Okay, fine.
Pull it.
Be still.
Ow! Much better.
Oh, goodness.
All right, well, Gigi, let me ask you something.
What? If you were gonna go on a honeymoon for cheap, where would you go? Back to the man who would dare say such a thing to me and tell him we're getting a divorce.
Why? Because Nick wants to buy a new SUV, and I told him that we couldn't afford it because of all of our other bills, and then I mentioned that we hadn't even been on a honeymoon yet.
You slipped that in with the bills? Oh, that's clever.
I got to remember that.
So why does he want a new SUV? Well, he says that carrying stuff around in his car is messing it up.
Oh, girl, I know exactly what he means.
I have a pair of Louis Vuitton pumps.
You think I'm gonna mess those things up walking around in 'em? If you're not walking around in 'em, then why-- forget I said anything.
Let him get the new car.
If he makes more money, you'll have a better honeymoon later.
Go big, or go home.
This is a marriage.
It is not Las Vegas.
It's all a gamble to me.
This is nice.
If it had a widescreen TV and microwave, I'd live in there.
You know, the Highlander comes with one of the most comprehensive lists of standard safety features in its class.
Comprehensive, huh? Including seven airbags.
Seven? Uh-huh.
Backup cameras.
Oh, my God.
That's right.
Large side view mirrors.
I saw those.
Sir? I like this.
So what do you think? I love it.
I just have to see my guy down at the bank, you know, so I can convince my wife.
Whoa, wife.
I'm sorry, man.
You can't even spend your own money.
You know what? Sit in the car as long as you like.
We close at 9:00.
Kevin, watch it! Yes.
We own you.
"My "BrotherIs "Going "In "On "This "Punk Hard.
" I'm not sure I like that.
Could you delete that? No.
All right, that's it.
Next up, tin man.
I'm gonna broadcast you live on my streaming page.
For real? Yup, that's right.
I'm putting you on.
Don't embarrass me.
Shut up.
Then what'd she say? And what you say, dawg? Oh, no, you didn't! Oh, ho, ho! That is tight! True DAT.
Listen, yo.
Yeah, yeah, I got to be out.
Holla! So Mr.
Kingston-Persons, I've got all your information here for the auto loan.
I just have to put it in the computer.
Well, see, I don't want the actual loan yet.
I just want to see what kind of rate I can get on the SUV I'm thinking about buying.
Well, just hold on.
We're gonna run your credit here, and if there's no problem, I can get you that loan today.
That was for, what, $30,000, right? Right.
You know, we also do financing for all-terrain vehicles, jet skis, personal aircraft.
I just want you to run my credit so I can see what kind of interest rate I qualify for.
Then I can decide if I can-- wassup, shorty? Oh, you know, it's all kind of busy up in here.
I'ma have to hit you back.
A'ight, a'ight.
All right, so where were we? How long have you been at your current job? Two years.
Two years, all right.
I'll just have to input your social now and wait a minute or two, and boo-yah.
Oh, excuse me.
Oh, Rafael, my dawg, wuzzup? What up, what up? No, you know, you know, grindin', grindin'.
No, oh, listen, I got to holler back at you, a'ight? A'ight.
What's wrong? Well, I'm sorry, sir.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to give you that loan.
It says that you're too high a risk.
What? Yeah.
How come? My credit should be fine.
Look, I just get approval and rejection codes here.
You know, if you want to know more, you have to get your credit report.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me for just a second.
Wazzup? "Urgent and confidential.
" What's this, my subscription to Essence is about to expire? "Dear Miss Kingston, your delinquent account "in the amount of $15,000 has been referred to my office for collection.
" Damn.
That is urgent and confidential.
Hey, honey.
Hey, babe.
Remember how earlier I was talking about buying a new car? And remember how earlier I said no? Yeah, but I was thinking if I could maybe make it make sense to you-- baby, I already made all the sense I need to make out of it.
I know it already makes sense to you, but I figured I could get some information.
So I went to the dealership.
Nick, you didn't.
Look, I didn't buy the car.
Okay, so far, so good.
But it turns out that even if I wanted to, I couldn't because of our credit.
Well, I told you we owed too many people.
Yeah, but I've never been denied credit before.
So I got our credit report.
Turns out there's a mistake on here.
This says I have a debt in collections of $15,000.
Um Let me see that.
That is unbelievable.
I know.
I pay my bills.
If I wasn't gonna pay something, it'd be something small like ring tone bill or my pay-per-view movies.
Are you out in that garage ordering pay-per-view? We just got married.
There's more than that on pay-per-view.
Like what? Can we talk about the credit report? I will take care of this.
You already did your part you found the problem, even though you did it behind my back.
I was doing research.
What? Well, the next time you decide to do research, we should discuss it first, because, you know, I don't like the idea that you're out there running around, finding out information from God knows where.
You know, like, I'm your wife, and if you need to know something, then I need to know that you need to know it, you know? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
How are you gonna hide the fact that you owe $15,000 from Nick? I'm gonna pay it.
Are you like one of those characters on Lost with a dark past? Because I love you, but if people are coming to kill you, I can't be your friend.
What is wrong with you, man? It's the student loan people.
Is that what they're calling it now? Gigi.
What? You know that after you graduate college, you can defer paying off your student loans.
I've been doing it so long, I forgot.
You forgot you owe $15,000? You forget you owe people money all the time.
No, I have never forgotten I owe people money.
Now, there are people who have given me money who believe I owe them, but I believe we have a fundamental misunderstanding on the terms of the exchange.
Well, how are you gonna pay off $15,000? I have an account.
I've been putting money in it for a long time.
I was saving it for a rainy day.
Suzanne! What? Why didn't you tell me you had $15,000? I could've used that money.
Because I believe we would have a fundamental misunderstanding on the terms of the exchange.
All right, got the live streaming set up.
'Cause the tin man is about to get his butt handed to him by the Vin-man.
"Oh, it's on.
" Post.
All right.
Let's do this.
What's up? Explain.
I have a tennis match.
When? Now.
Where? Online.
It's not sad.
It's the future.
What's with the outfit? Well, I happen to be dressed as my favorite tennis player.
And that would be? Serena Williams.
So that we're clear, you're sleeping on a man's couch, playing video tennis wearing a unitard, and that's not sad.
It's a little sad.
Who's the tin man? Mar-tin.
Tin man.
'Cause when I play tennis, I'm heartless.
Wizard of oz.
Also sad.
Here's your Jersey.
Thank you.
Well, I'm here And I'm hungry.
That's because when you eat, you're supposed to keep the food in your stomach.
That was one time! Here we go.
Hit it! Almost.
Yah! Come on.
Go! Whoa! Get him! Take him down! Almost, almost.
Watch out! What's going on? Kevin's in a heated battle with some guy named the tin man.
Come on.
That's how you do it.
Little bit of that backswing; That's it.
That's right.
Man, you gonna dress like Serena, play like Serena! Oh! Whoo! Ah ha ha! My man.
That's my boy.
You cannot be serious.
Who's the man? Me! You the man.
Look at my boy.
Right there! Tin man, you were so close.
I'm sorry.
I'm hungry.
Way to go, man, looking like Andre Agassi out there.
Thank you for not embarrassing me.
Shut up.
Ice cream.
What y'all celebrating? Kevin just won his online tennis tournament.
Yep, I finally took down the tin man.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wow! You know what? That's great.
Got to go! Bye.
You got beat by a child.
You suck it up.
Hello? Yeah, hello, man, this is Mr.
Hartwell from the collection agency.
Can I speak to Miss Kingston? This is Mr.
All right, right.
So this a courtesy call to confirm we received your wife's payment, and it's gonna be reflected in our records by the end of business today.
Payment for how much? $15,000.
Thank you.
Ain't this about a-- yo, dude.
I'm still here, man.
You know, when I first met you, I had no idea that I was looking at the man who would prove to me that there are real men out there.
Really? Mm-hmm.
You know what I was thinking? I was thinking that maybe we should go back down to that dealership and see what kind of good deal they can give us on that car.
Really? You would do that for me.
Yes, because I love you, and it takes money to make money, right? Right, right.
Oh, that's good.
Um Did you get that business with the credit report cleared up? Huh? The credit report.
Did you get that cleared up? Oh.
It was just a glitch.
But the people on the phone were very nice.
Oh, I bet they were, especially after you told them you'd pay the bill.
Pay the what? Who? You.
Yeah, and you're right.
They were very nice.
Oh, you better quit playing, Nick.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Okay, look.
I got a call today from the collection agency saying our credit will be fine 'cause you sent them a check for $15,000.
So you need to start explaining yourself.
Okay, okay, okay.
But don't be mad at me, okay? Okay.
But the next time I say "don't be mad at me," you have to not be mad at me.
Hold on; We got to get this on tape.
"I I "Suzanne Kingston-Persons Suzanne Kingston-Persons "Being of sound body and mind Being of sound mind and body, won't be mad, okay? Start talking.
This is all Frank's fault.
Your ex-husband? Exactly.
We always argued about money, and I just never felt like Frank had my back, and I didn't want to use his money to pay back my student loans.
So, you know, then I was single, and then it was you and me, and we moved, and we got all swept up in things, and the next thing I know-- I can't get my car.
So you knew you owed that money? No.
I forgot.
Wait, wait.
How do you forget you owe somebody $15,000? Well, I-- wait, wait.
You know, there's nothing you can say to explain it.
Where did you get $15,000? I started saving the money when I was with Frank.
It was my "one day" money.
What's one day money? One day, I'm gonna do something fun and not care how much it costs.
You should have told me.
Look, I'm not here to hold you back.
I'm here to have your back.
I got you.
I know.
It'sust that Sometimes 's just hard to really relax.
I'm sorry.
Just to be clear, do you owe anybody else? No.
I love you.
I love you too, babe.
What are you doing? I'm getting ready for bed.
Take that off.
You're not going to sleep.