Are We There Yet? (2010) s02e02 Episode Script

The We Ain't Going Out Like That Episode

Hey, guys.
- Hey, dad.
- Hey, dad.
- Are those my old video tapes? - Yep.
- Where'd you guys find those? - In the attic.
- What were you doing in the attic? - Looking for stuff to find.
- Oh, check this out.
Bam! - "A different world"? - What's that? - One of the tv shows of the '90s.
Look, I can't believe you guys never heard of it.
It was created by bill cosby.
- Who's bill cosby? - Are you serious? He's one of the greatest comedians of all time.
- Better than Nick Cannon? - A little bit.
Anyway, this was one of the top tv shows on the networks for, like, six years.
- Black people used to be on network tv? - In the '80s and '90s, yeah.
- We had sitcoms, cartoons.
I mean, there were so many black shows on tv, they ran out of actors and started using puppets.
There was this show called cousin Skeeter.
- Yeah, I think I remember that one.
I always wondered why his mouth was so wide.
- Hold on.
Black puppets On tv.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Wow.
And I thought having a black president was huge.
These tapes are gigantic.
- It's what we watched before DVDs.
- Why? - Because there were no DVDs.
- Well, can we watch some of them? - Sure.
I just have to find a vcr.
I think my mother has one.
- What's a vcr? - Am I that old, or are you that young? Both.
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, sweetheart.
- Do you know you're special? - Mm.
I am? - Do you really know how special you are? - Why don't you tell me how special I am? - You are so special that you have received an exclusive invitation to the newest, the hottest steakhouse in Seattle.
- Knife? Bam! Oh, my God.
This is supposed to be amazing.
Wow, look at this.
- Yep, and everybody's gonna be there.
Including me and my baby.
- Oh.
I can't wait.
I'm so excited.
When is it? - Tomorrow night from 7:00 to 10:00.
- Tomorrow night? - From 7:00 to 10:00.
- Why didn't you tell me earlier? - I didn't know about it earlier.
- I can't go.
The bridal expo is tomorrow night.
- What time is it over? - 7:00.
- I'll come get you at 7:00.
- No, but I won't be finished.
I still have to pack everything up and break down the booth.
- Well, I'll come by at 7:30.
- Well, I need to come home and shower and change and get ready.
- Well, by the time you do all that, the party'll be over.
There won't be nothing left to eat but gristle and grease.
- I'm sorry.
Baby, you can still go.
Just take one of your boys.
- I don't want to take one of the boys.
I wanted to go with you.
- Well, I wish I had more notice.
- It's cool.
- Well, sweetie.
I can make it up to you.
I promise.
We can plan a date night.
- A date night.
What are we, 50? Look, I was looking forward to going out and having a fun, sexy, spontaneous night.
- We are spontaneous.
- No, no, no, I'm spontaneous.
When you want to do something on the spur of the moment with me, I'm good.
But when I want to do something on the spur of the moment with you, I have to schedule it.
Uh, let's see.
Spurt of the moment on the 17th.
- Nick, I'm doing the best that I can.
- I know.
I just was really looking forward to this.
"For their remarkable attention to detail" in preparation and presentation, knife embodies the appreciation of the fine tradition "of eating good meat.
" - Well, let me make it up to you.
I can come up with something that will make you forget about knife.
- As long as you don't call it a date night.
- Oh, baby, when I'm done with you, you will call it whatever I want you to call it.
Sync & correct by dr.
jackson - hey.
- Hey, man.
- What are you having for dinner tonight? - I don't know.
Suzanne didn't say.
Why? - Lock the kids in the basement and take your wife to knife.
- Knife? - Yes.
It's this new steak place, and it is amazing.
Oh, my God.
They had this grand opening last night.
It was insane, dude.
- Oh, man, I was supposed to be there.
- Well, frankly, I feel sorry for you, 'cause you missed out.
How come you didn't show up? Everybody was there.
Suzanne had to work.
Gigi had a date, and shouldn’t cover.
- Gigi was there.
Yeah, last time I saw gigi, she was dancing on a table with a veal chop in one hand and some dude's black card in the other.
- Wait, dancing on the table? It was supposed to be a dinner.
- Well, it started out that way, but then dj jazzy Jeff shows up.
- Dj jazzy Jeff was there? - Yeah.
Loves steak.
Who knew? The guy flew all the way in from Philly.
Let me tell you, I love will Smith, but now I know why they called it dj jazzy Jeff and the fresh prince.
That guy deserves top billing.
Will Smith needs a whole movie to get people to listen to him.
Jeff, he just jumps on the ones and twos, and he's like "Eat steak.
" - You through? - Yeah.
- Yeah, all right, it was amazing.
I get it.
- Take Suzanne.
She'll love it.
She will love you.
Just so long as you keep her away from Anna.
- Who's that? - Only the waitress who's gonna end your marriage.
I would describe her body to you, but, well, your children have already lost one father, and I don't want them to lose another.
- Well, Suzanne's planning a date night.
Maybe I'll suggest we go there.
- Oh, a date night.
Um, I'll take things old people do for $1,000, Alex.
Seriously, what are you, 60? - Man, I haven't hooked up a vcr in years.
Thanks for bringing it over.
- Honey, if it would keep your kids occupied, I'd bring over my washing machine.
- All set.
- Honey, I'm ready.
- Man, look at you.
Suzanne, you look amazing.
- Thank you, Marilyn.
- Whoa! I'm coming to join you, honey With my skinny jeans on.
- So you really must have messed something up to be dressing like that on a weeknight.
- Now, why would you say that? - Oh, girl, please, I had a husband.
I know a "I'm sorry" dress when I see one.
- Don't listen to her, baby.
You look incredible.
- Thank you.
You know, we better get going, or we just might not make it out.
- Ooh.
- Ugh! I mean, see you later.
- See you later.
- Don't bring no babies back up in here.
- All right.
I am ready.
- Me too.
- Let's get settled in.
- Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Before we leave, I made some mood music for our date.
It keeps with the theme.
- A theme? - Mm-Hmm.
- Oh, that's nice.
Ooh, I like that.
You think of everything.
So what are we doing? - Oh, well, at 7:00, we'll check in for our reservation.
By 7:15, we'll have drinks.
After some small talk and some light banter, we'll share an intimate kiss and then order our appetizers.
I figure that'll take us through about 8:00, and then we'll put in our entree order and then some restaurant-appropriate PDA.
- Personal digital assistant? - Public displays of affection.
- Oh, okay.
- And then after that, we can just play the rest of the evening by ear.
- Oh, just completely off the cuff.
- Oh, you know, see if we want to order dessert or not.
- Oh, you are totally out of control, girl.
- Whoo, I'm wild! - So where we going? - Oh, honey, you don't have to worry about that.
- Hi, honey.
- Good morning.
- So that was good last night, right? - Hmm? - I said, last night was nice, right? - It was cool.
- Did you just give me the high voice? - No.
- Are you seriously gonna stand there with a straight face and lie to me about giving me the high voice in the high voice? - I am not giving you the high voice.
- Nick, if you didn't like our date, you can just tell me.
- Baby, the other night, I was looking for excitement.
Knife was a once-in-a-lifetime night, and we missed it.
- But our evening was romantic.
- It was perfectly planned.
- You liked dinner, right? - Planned.
- Didn't you love the walk along the pier? - Planned.
- What about when we got home? That wasn't planned; That was good.
- It was cool.
- Well, you better remember how cool it was, because that's the last you'll see of that.
You can plan on it.
- Date night? What are you, 70? - The only reason I had to plan a date night is because of you.
Why didn't you tell me you were going to knife? You didn't think I wanted to come? - Well, the guy called me that afternoon.
It's not my fault your husband don't know how to use a phone.
- You realize I can fire you.
- Suzanne, I have told you many times, you need to learn to be flexible.
Be spontaneous.
Throw caution to the wind.
- The last time I was spontaneous, I ended up with Kevin.
- What about Lindsey? - That's when I threw caution to the wind.
- Listen, I can go to the moon on a moment's notice.
You send a rocket, some gravity boots, and some moon luggage, I'm good to go.
All right, zee.
- Mm.
- I'm a let you in on a little secret.
- What? - People like me count on people like you to be boring so we can have all the fun.
If more married people took the ticket to the game, to the concert, the reservation to the restaurant, single people wouldn't have half the places to go.
Half the things I do are because married people turn 'em down.
Listen, when I told you I was going out, you didn't even ask me where I was going, because you didn't think you had anything better to do than to go home.
- Well, as far as I knew, I didn't.
- The point is, you missed out on an amazing grand opening party, and if you keep on trying to plan every single thing, Suzanne, you're gonna miss out on life.
- You've got a point.
- Where are you going? - Out.
You can handle this stuff, right? - Oh, no.
No, I can't.
This is gonna take hours, and I was planning on going out tonight.
- Well, that's what you get for planning.
- You funny.
- - Hey.
- Hey, dad.
- Hey, dad.
- Hey, Mr.
- Hey, Troy.
You guys still watching a different world? - I've been hooked on this show for years.
I've seen every episode.
- This show is amazing.
It makes me want to go to a black university.
- Me too.
- Me too.
- I think that's what Dr.
cosby intended.
- What's really cool is that this show's hilarious, but the story lines address serious issues like class and race relations.
- That's thanks to Debbie Allen.
- I just care about the hilarious part.
- And I love whitley.
I think she should marry Dwayne Wayne.
- Well - Hey, let it unfold.
- They should remake this show with Nick Cannon.
- So what's up with the outfits? - Well, I'm Dwayne Wayne.
- I'm Ron Johnson.
- They tried to get me to dress up as waiter oakes.
- Sinbad.
- I told her she should be honored.
Sinbad is a national treasure.
You can have your Martin Lawrence and your Steve Harvey.
I'll take Sinbad any day.
- We looked at some of his clips on YouTube.
He's hilarious.
- You know, I think I may have one of Sindbad’s comedy shows in here.
- Please tell me it's brain damaged.
- Brain damaged.
Bam! - Nice.
His bit on weaves is a classic.
"There's nothing wrong with a weave, but at least try to fool someone.
" Genius.
- Don't leave that on pause too long.
It'll break the tape.
- - Hey, baby.
- Nick, I - Before you speak, I just want to say I'm sorry.
I was so busy worrying about that party, I let it get in the way of our night.
I shouldn't have done that, and I want you to know that I'll go on a date night with you any time.
- Good.
So let's go do something.
- Now? - Yes, now.
Baby, I'm sorry.
You know, I was so caught up in trying to be organized that I let it stop you from having a great night with me, and lord knows we need all the great nights we can get.
- Yeah, that's right.
So you really want to go out? - Yes.
Let's go.
- So you don't have to take a shower? - No, come on.
- Change clothes? - Nah, right now.
- And we can do whatever I want? - Yes, let's bounce.
- Wait, wait, what about the kids? - Lindsey! - What? - Make a pizza.
Your father and I are going out.
Lights out by 9:30.
- Okay.
- Done.
- Baby.
I love it when you get all spontaneous like that.
- Ooh.
- Surprise me, girl.
- Right now.
- Oh, surprise, surprise.
Wait, wait, where we going? Nope, I don't want to know.
Look it, I'm so surprised, I forgot my coat.
- What are you doing? Let's go.
- No punching in anything? - Let's go.
- No theme music? No itinerary? No typing in coordinates? - What part didn't you understand? We are going wherever you want to take us.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- I'm sorry, baby.
- No, no, no.
Tonight, we're not doing I'm sorry.
We are living in the moment.
Whatever happens, happens.
- I don't know how I thought we could just walk in to the newest, hottest steakhouse in the city without a reservation.
- But, really.
A two month wait? It's steak.
How good can it be? - Pretty good, I guess.
- Okay, okay, I will call tomorrow and get a reservation.
- I don't know why that bouncer wouldn't let us in that club.
There was hardly anybody in there.
- I know.
But I at least thought we would be able to get into the movie.
- The movies are getting worse than the club.
Reserved seats, drinks, snacks, reclining chairs.
If I wanted to feel like I was at home when I'm watching a movie, I'd stay at home.
- All right, forget about all that, all right? I've got you.
We're together.
We're being spontaneous, and that is all that counts.
- Good.
Let's get something to eat.
- Okay.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
We'd like to order.
- Oh, I'm sorry, but the kitchen's closed.
- Oh, come on.
Now, why would you guys seat us if you knew you weren't gonna serve us? - Well, we thought you were here for the club.
- What club? - This one.
After 10:00, we turn into a club.
I'm sorry, but unless you want to order bottle service, I'm going to need to move you.
- Move us where? - To your feet.
- Wait, wait, how much is bottle service? - It starts at $400.
- For drinks and a chair? - I know.
It's crazy, right? - What do you want to do? - Uh, I don't know.
What do you want to do? - Well, whatever you're going to do, I'm going to need you to do it on your feet, because I need to sell this table.
- No, don't We out of here.
- Suzanne, what are you guys doing here? - Leaving.
What are you do Okay, why are you dressed like that? - Well, I'm gonna dance in a cage.
One of the dancers fell out.
The owner asked me to do him a favor, so Bye.
- Lindsey.
What are you doing up this early? - I woke up a couple hours ago to watch season five of a different world.
Whitley's about to marry Byron.
- All right, well, don't be late.
- I won't.
- Oh, hey, dad.
- Hey.
- It's Sinbad.
- I had that exact same outfit.
- Can you get me a copy of jingle all the way? - Jingle all the way.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad.
That was a good one.
I’ll see what I can do.
- Whatever happened to Arnold Schwarzenegger anyway? He should make more movies.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Now Dwayne Wayne is proposing to whitley instead.
Oh, my God, this show is incredible.
- A different world? - Yep.
I'm sorry, baby.
- Oh, there's no need to apologize.
- Last night was a disaster.
- I wouldn't call it a disaster.
- That's 'cause you're just trying to be nice.
- No, I'm saying that because as long as I'm with you, I don't care what we do.
You win some, you lose some.
- Well, at least we salvaged the night when we got home, right? - It was cool.
- Are you giving me the high voice? - Give me the tape! - No! - Kevin! - You've been watching tv all week.
- Kevin, stop.
I want to watch a different world.
- You've seen every season.
I want to watch Sindbad’s brain damaged.
- Give me the tape, or I'm gonna damage your brain.
Come on! - No! - Hey, hey, what's going on? Get over there.
Get over there.
What is going on? - Give her the tape! - Hey! Now, what is going on here? Okay, enough.
Never mind.
We'll watch what I want to watch.
How about that? - Let's see.
- Go ahead, baby.
- What? "Nick at the Apollo"? Nick, did you audition for showtime at the Apollo? - I made the tape, but I never sent it in.
- Oh, my God.
- Look, nobody wants to watch this right What's that tape? - No, no, come on, we're being spontaneous.
- No, this this one's better.
- Spontaneous.
Sync & correct by dr.