Arrested Development s02e03 Episode Script


Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
Michael Bluth arrived at work to find his brother adjusting to his newjob as president.
What have you got there? "Don't be afraid to make a mi-" I'm not gonna beat myself up over that.
It works.
So, I wrote your "Message from the President" on the shareholders' statement.
Starla's making copies.
Did I tell you that she'd make a great secretary? Yeah.
I'm not so sure that hiring her wasn't a mistake.
And I'm not afraid to make mistakes.
Or have you forgotten this little- Damn it! - My legs are so powerful.
- So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now - even though it's just a title.
- Uh, right.
Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
- "Circumverate.
" - Circumvent.
Means to go around.
The old reach around.
Trust me.
This makes you look like a leader.
Okay? I don't think that I need any help with that.
Just leave it where it is.
- Now, if you just flip- - Here are the copies.
These are- These are very small.
When you said you wanted photocopies I thought that you meant you wanted them on a photo printer.
Tell you what.
From now on, we're gonna use just the big printer.
You're a perfectionist.
Flashes of Quincy.
Starla claimed to have had a relationship with music legend QuincyJones.
President, I'm gonna go look into some LEGOLAND tickets for the weekend.
- Cool.
Let's do it.
- Actually, I just meant me and my son.
Isn't he a little old for that? No.
I've been looking to get some alone time with him, and it just hasn't seemed to work out lately.
No problem.
I'll just call up some of my friends.
- What? - What friends? I've got friends, Michael.
I just don't talk to them because I work all the time.
I think the plant lady's wearing a thong.
Michael, this is your office now? Yeah.
Well, it's temporary.
We gotta make sure Gob looks like he's in charge.
Allow me.
I'll just "circumvrent" you.
Let's make sure we don't give him any real power.
- Mmm.
- So, I gotta a call today from Gene Parmesan, our private eye.
- He said he found something big.
- We have a private eye, huh? Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me.
- He never did find anything.
- Well, he can't be very good then.
- What did he find? - He said he wanted to tell us in person.
Don't get up.
I just a-find-a the supplies because I'm a- Private detective.
Gene Parmesan.
How are you doing? Gene! Oh, Gene! - Isn't he the best? - Gene was far from the best.
- Very impressive.
- Thank you.
- What did you find? - Oh, nothing.
- Just your father's getaway car.
- You're kidding.
Michael's father had used the family stairway vehicle to escape from prison.
If I could find Dad, I'd be off the hook.
I could be president again.
- Where is it? - Mexico.
You get the country for free.
The city-That's gonna cost ya.
- It's a $200 fine.
- Oh! I feel like such an- The car is in a town called Encanta.
If you think that's worth more than $200, I'd really appreciate it.
- All right.
- I'm not even gonna count it.
You can leave tomorrow after my going-away party for Buster.
I still can't believe he's going into the army.
You know, he's doing it just to spite me.
- Then why are you throwing him a party? - Just to spite him.
You guys have such a healthy thing going.
Okay, I'll go to your party, and then I'll go to Mexico.
- I guess that'll be my quality time with my son.
- Mexico? - Yeah.
Mom's P.
Found the stair car down there.
- Gene Parmesan? Right here.
I counted it.
Come on.
And that's when Gob became suspicious that Michael had only made him president to stick him with the failing business while Michael himself escaped to Mexico to be with his father.
- So, inspired by his mother's private detective- - "Ice.
" He decided to hire someone to keep an eye on his brother.
I think I might have someone who's going to "cirsumvrent" the law.
And Michael returned home, eager to tell his son of their trip.
George Michael, what say you and I take a road trip down to Mexico tomorrow right after Buster's party? - Oh, I can't.
I'm meeting Ann.
- Who? Ann.
You took this picture of us in front of that bagel place before it was burned down.
I guess I thought she was with another family.
She's kind of my girlfriend.
- Her? - Do you not like her? I don't know her.
It's like you spend all your time with her.
It's like you're hoggin' her- like you're a little Ann hog.
Okay? Don't be such an Ann hog.
But we're gonna go to Mexico.
Try to find Pop-Pop.
It'll be an adventure.
Well- And 8:01.
Curtain has risen.
Hey, Tobias, I was wondering if you were available tomorrow to go down to Mexico.
- I need two drivers.
- Alas, I have two shows tomorrow where I'm on standby for the Blue Man Group.
Might as well keep this makeup on since it takes so- long to get off.
Lindsay, what about you? Uh, can't.
I have a big date tomorrow.
You know, this open marriage is ridiculous.
Somebody's gonna get hurt.
The important thing is that you guys don't lose focus on yourselves.
First of all, we are doing this for her.
Okay? Because neither one of us wants to get divorced.
And "second-of-ly," I know you're the big marriage expert- Oh.
I'm sorry.
I forgot.
Your wife is dead.
I'm sorry.
That was 100% inappropriate, and I do apologize profusely.
I'm- Oh.
Okay, look.
I don't have a date tomorrow.
But why can't you ask Gob to go with you? Michael and Gob had been to Mexico once before.
- Chiclet? Chiclet? - You're the Chiclet! Not me! Unfortunately, in Mexican culture this was a much more inflammatory gesture.
Hey, hey.
I just think you and I would have a lot more fun.
- Plus you can bring Maeby.
- You know, I've sensed her feeling a little left out lately.
And the next morning, the family met at Buster's send-off party where Lucille was not keeping her feelings hidden.
- A camcorder.
- That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns.
I ought to point to Uncle Oscar's Charlie Browns next time you're on top of him, Mother.
He's moving out.
See how he treats me? Just because he thinks I'm having an affair with the boy's uncle.
And she's not having an affair with the boy's uncle.
It's too late for apologies.
I'm going to the army.
Get me out.
You've got to get me out.
Well, I'm headed down to Mexico to find Dad but when I get back, maybe we'll try to figure something out.
And that's when Buster decided to sneak into Mexico to avoid the service.
No, no.
I think it'll be worked out by then.
- What was that all about? - I think Buster's gonna escape to Mexico.
Did the secretary not give you the picture for Dad? I need that to show people there.
- Yeah.
She brought that over.
- Well, this, uh, is a blueprint of Dad's face.
- She used the big printer.
I'll give her that.
Let's go.
- Not so fast.
- Gob, who is that man on the couch? - Who? That guy? - He's my friend.
- You don't have any friends.
I have lots of friends, Lindsay.
In fact, the man was Ice, a bounty hunter that Gob hired to follow Michael.
- Ice may be my best friend.
- George Michael.
- He's moving.
- He's moving.
- Fun party, huh? - No.
No, it isn't.
- Let's go down to Mexico.
- All right.
Let me grab Ann real quick.
- Ann's here? - Yeah.
I invited her.
You said you wanted to spend some time with her.
You said I was being an Ann hog.
- Ann Hog's coming? I thought it was just the two of us.
- Just Ann.
- All right.
Load her up in the car.
- All right.
Lupe, that sweater's not a take-home.
- Michael, give her a ride home.
- I'm gonna have to start putting people in the trunk.
In fact, at that moment, Buster was climbing into the trunk.
Mother, when you see this videotape, you'll know that I left.
Not out of cowardice, but out of- Oh, man.
It's tiring in here.
Six minutes later, Michael dropped offhis mother's housekeeper.
In fact, he was in Santa Ana a town six minutes inland from his own.
But the combination oflosing his glasses and breathing carbon monoxide had impaired Buster's judgment.
Oh, this shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.
Excuse me.
What are you doing? I'm trying to find a place to live.
Michael was heading down to Mexico to find his fugitive father.
Can you believe this? This is my trip with my son and he's too busy whispering secrets to Ann to say one word to me.
- What's that? - Nothing.
We're not whispering secrets up here.
Check out who's on that hog in the rearview mirror.
- George Michael! - What? Twenty miles to LEGOLAND.
The Ice.
- What have you got? - Still on his tail, about 20 miles from LEGOLAND.
- Go get him, friend.
- You're not my friend.
You're a client.
Gob realized that perhaps he really didn't have any friends.
And Lucille sent hers away.
Buster, Oscar's leaving.
You win.
Buster get in trunk of car.
So he's not going to the army.
He must have had Michael sneak him into Mexico.
Oh, thank God.
- It's better this way.
- Mmm.
I'll go unpack.
Here's some money.
Go see a Star War.
- Who is it? - Uh, your son.
- What? - I was looking for Buster.
- He's not here.
- Uh, what are you doing? - I mean, do you want to go out? - Why are you trying to get me out of the house? I just thought that we could hang out.
Lucille was suspicious that Gob was up to some sort of power grab.
Gene Parmesan? Lucille Bluth.
My son is trying to get me out of my house.
I think he may be up to something.
Hold on.
That's probably him.
Gene? It's just some idiot with balloons.
- Oh, is it? - I knew it! I want you to keep an eye on my son Gob.
And Buster was finding himself right at home.
Oh, my God.
I used to have a shirt just like that.
It was Buster's old shirt.
Lucille had given it to Lupe.
And the hand chair.
I had one in my room.
I wonder where that went.
- It went right there.
- I never thought I'd miss a hand so much.
You people are just like me.
Meanwhile, in the real Mexico - Michael had found the stair car.
- There it is.
And Michael set about finding his father.
Oh, yeah.
Sure, señor.
No problem.
When do you want us to start building? Thank you.
- Dad? Dad? - Yeah.
So, what do you think of Ann so far? Oh, Ann? I just- You know, I barely know her.
You know? Neither of us do.
She's just really some girl as far as we're concerned.
Right? - L-l-I'm determined to get to know her.
- Yeah.
- Okay? - Okay.
I have an idea.
When we go back why don't just the two of you go back in the stair car together? Well, that's no fun.
For you.
You know, you guys should be together.
- Oh- - Or maybe just you and me - if you'd rather.
- Yeah.
- Or me and Ann- - Great! Yes.
I'll tell Maeby that I'll be going back with her and Aunt Lindsay.
- No, no.
Let's keep looking for Pop-Pop.
- Okay.
Maybe somebody in the church will know something.
In fact, George Sr.
Was in the church, where he was mourned by his longtime assistant and accomplice to his escape, Kitty as only a few days earlier, he'd been declared dead.
But before Michael could go inside the church- Hey.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
- I know you.
You're Gob's friend.
- Not friend.
Bounty hunter.
Gene? There's no way you're that good.
Name's Ice.
Gob hired me to stop you from fleeing the country.
What? Are you kidding me? I'm not fleeing the country.
I'm here looking for my father.
But you're obviously better at this kind of thing.
I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna continue paying you to find my father.
You can also collect the real bounty on his head.
Nice deck.
Is this where you saw him last? No, this- That's actually him.
- He's just- He's much smaller in real life.
- I can see that's a man.
I'll find him.
- Lucky.
- What did he say? Did he ask about me? I can't believe he followed us all the way to Mexico.
Uh, that's a bounty hunter, and, uh, he's on the case, so we can all head home.
So, he's not interested in me? Not unless you know where Dad is.
George Michael.
Oh, hi, Dad.
They think you're in Mexico.
I'll see you when I get home.
Ye- Oh, yes.
Thank you.
No, I found my birth control pills.
Thanks for asking, Dad.
Maeby had had enough ofher mother and decided to go back with Michael.
I'm so sick of her.
The lame flirting.
Michael, of course, thought Maeby was referring to Ann.
I think he's gonna get sick of her before it goes too far.
Of course he will.
She's a child.
Well, that- that part's not really her fault.
I just hate to see him wasting his time, you know? - Let's go.
I'll be in your car.
- Is George Michael okay with that? - It's fine.
Just drive.
- At no point were Michael and Maeby talking about the same person.
And there were only four people in their group.
And it's not a race thing.
Whoever gets there first.
And so Michael left with his niece followed by his sister and his son followed by the bounty hunter.
Unfortunately, this left the girl Michael was determined to get to know alone in Mexico.
Meanwhile, Buster was adapting to life in what he thought was Mexico but was in fact a town so close to home that they shared a paperboy.
I know that guy.
Hey! Where's your mother? Oh, I love this way of life.
This is where I belong.
I love being Mexican.
- We must work now, amigo.
- Oh, no.
I'm going with you.
I am one of you now.
Ssí? And Michael, on his way back home, bonded with Maeby.
I mean, why does everyone have to date anyways? Right.
I mean, isn't family enough for people? And, you know, not to feel sorry for myself, but it's like I'm being forgotten here.
And soon they all arrived at home.
- Hey.
You're here already.
- Yeah.
We won.
So, uh, you guys have a good talk? Yeah.
Great talk.
That cousin of yours is a hell of a girl.
Too bad you can't date her.
I meant-Wait, you wouldn't have a problem with that? Nothing.
No, I was talking about Ann.
What did you think of her? Michael had just discovered he'd left his son's girlfriend in Mexico.
She's gonna be fine.
We just gotta beat the sun.
You think I'm happy about this? But, hey, we are getting that trip together we wanted, huh? And look.
Two exits to LEGOLAND.
I just want to find Ann.
That's my whole thing too.
And Gob was still searching for a friend.
- Show tonight? - Well, I won't know officially until 8:01 but I figured if I blue myself early I'd be nice and relaxed for a 9:00 dinner reservation.
And if you'd like, I can make that reservation for- - Looking for some company or- - I sure am.
What are you doing? You're gonna scare away the Ice.
Ice? Ice is out there? Where's Michael? He went back to Mexico.
I knew he was trying to flee.
Where the hell did he go? Whoa! - Ice, what are you doing? - George Bluth, you're coming with me.
- That's not my father.
- Well, according to my photograph it is.
It's an honest mistake.
Also, I think your knee is on my heart.
He's my husband.
My father is probably still in Mexico.
- I was just hoping to have sex with you.
- Why am I not blacking out? He set me up.
Michael set me up.
Who wants to go to the hospital? And Buster went to his job as a dishwasher.
This is great.
We're like slave buddies.
Soon, the guys arrived in Mexico and split up to find Ann.
Ann? Ann? Oh, thank God, you're all right.
- Mr.
Bluth? - Ann.
Oh, thank God, you're all right.
Uh, you are Ann, right? Yes.
Of course you are.
- Ann.
Oh, my- - It is.
We got her.
Let's go ahead and load up in the truck.
I think we're crashing some poor guy's wake.
Michael, Michael, Michael! - Gob? What are you doing? - Fleeing the country.
You bastard.
I'm still not fleeing.
Okay? I'm just here to pick up my son's girlfriend.
She ran off the last time we were leaving.
- Actually, I was sitting right there the whole time.
- Yeah? Way to plant, Ann.
George Michael, uh, listen.
Why don't you and Plant wait in the stair car.
- I'm gonna finish up with Gob.
- What a scare.
- That's his girlfriend? - Yeah.
- Is she funny or something? - Don't worry about it.
- Why do you keep thinking that I'm running away? - It is kind of suspicious.
You didn't even ask me to drive down here with you.
The only reason I didn't ask you to come is because of your chicken impression.
- We sure did get in a lot of trouble for that last time.
- Yeah.
- I was all- - Hey, no.
You're doing it again.
Get off him.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
He's American.
Americano, eh? Just like me.
Gene Parmesan.
How you doing? - Gene! What the hell are you doing? - Your mother sent me to find you.
- She was worried you were up to something.
- I was just looking for a friend.
- What? - Yeah, that's right, Michael.
I went to our mother because I don't have any friends.
- Oh, that's funny.
- Thank you.
Gene, can I have a private moment, please? - Okay.
You're on the clock.
- Thank you.
Gob, what are you talking about? If anybody needs a friend right now, it's me.
My son's furious at me and he spends all his free time with this girl that, frankly, I'm not that crazy about.
Not crazy about? Or not crazy about your son growing up? Uh- Maybe- Maybe you're right about that.
And I really haven't gotten to know her.
I've been a little selfish.
So- See? You are a friend.
You know, I'm- I'm always gonna look out for you.
All right? And you're always gonna look out for me.
I did see him coming.
It's just I kind of wanted to see where you were going with that.
Where's Uncle Gob? Well, I gave the bounty hunter and the P.
I a few extra bucks to be his friends for the weekend- while the three of them are looking for my father.
And I want to get to know a new friend too.
Ann, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself? The next day, Buster was happy.
And he decided to never go home again.
Delivery from the kitchen.
- But unfortunately, he was already there.
- Mother! - Buster! - I thought you were in Mexico.
- So did I.
Oh! - And the next day, Michael returned to work knowing a little more about his son's girlfriend.
Tell Ann to make sure she studies for Mr.
Mason's Algebra II test tomorrow and tell her to make sure that Kim Cho doesn't cheat off her this time.
You really got to know her.
Well, we did spend three hours together in that car ride.
- So, what'd you think? - I don't like her.
On the next Arrested Development.
Buster reclaims his favorite chair.
But the victory is short-lived.
Make love in your own hand, Mother! And Tobias gets medical attention.
Thank God! A new doctor.
Finally we can get a straight answer in this place.
Uh, I've got some bad news.
I'm Gene Parmesan.
How you doin'? He got me again! But I did overhear that he's bleeding internally.