Atlanta (2016) s03e09 Episode Script

Rich Wigga, Poor Wigga

1 (TRAVIS SCOTT'S "ESCAPE PLAN" PLAYING) 12-figure estate plan, that was the escape plan ♪ But hate investigating, that shit was a waste, man ♪ GAMER 1 (OVER HEADSET): (LAUGHS) This is an easy kill.
But wait, it opened gates ♪ Man, this nigga's scared.
I can feel it.
GAMER 2: You lost, bro.
You already lost.
(EXPLOSIONS ON TV) GAMER 1: Come catch a fade like a man, bro.
GAMER 2: It's two on one, nigga.
I like the odds.
(FLAMES WHOOSH ON TV) I got a full tank for that ass.
Yeah, I'm finna burn this boy ass up right here.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, come get this smoke, fool.
(FLAMES WHOOSH ON TV) (SCREAMING ON TV) You still playing, bro? GAMER 1 (LAUGHS): This nigga's jerking off somewhere.
GAMER 2: You jerking, bro? Jerking off to this kill I'm about to get.
GAMER 2 (LAUGHS): What the fuck did you just say? GAMER 1: Nigga, you gay as hell.
GAMER 2: I know where you at, bro.
You can't hide.
You guys are dog shit.
(SCREAMING ON TV) GAMER 2: Nigga, that was lame as hell.
GAMER 1: You only won 'cause you camping.
We play for real.
(MOCKINGLY): "You only won 'cause you camping.
" (NORMAL VOICE): I don't know, this win looks pretty real to me.
GAMER 2: Oh, you good as shit, bro.
- You must not get no pussy.
- (PHONE CHIMES) I'm too busy fucking to get good at this game.
I'm getting my dick sucked right now by your mom over here.
You want to talk to her? Oh, wait, wait, wait.
She's too busy with my dick in her mouth.
- (IMITATES GARGLING) - GAMER 1: Hey, pass her to me, bro.
Hey, why don't you two niggers go find your dads, okay? - GAMER 2: Fuck you say to me? - You heard me, bitch.
GAMER 1: Yo, tell me where you live, little man.
We got to talk face-to-face about this shit.
Okay, I got you.
I live at 765 Fuck You Avenue.
GAMER 2: What city is that? What city is that, pussy? GAMER 1 (MOCKINGLY): "Uh, 765 Fuck You Avenue, uh" (IMITATES MONKEY HOOTING) Eat a fucking banana.
Shut the fuck up.
(SIGHS) RADIO ANNOUNCER: A 15-year-old Black male was killed last night in a routine traffic stop in the Lenox Mall parking lot.
Officers thought the young man in the backseat was reaching for a weapon that turned out to be a phone.
They fired five shots into the car.
The boy later died at Grady Hospital.
His father has vowed to sue the city.
- (RADIO TURNS OFF) - JAMES: Damn, that's sad.
You see why I don't want you hanging out with your friends in DeKalb? Them cops are looking for a reason to kill young Black men.
I don't think I'll have that problem, but okay.
Yeah, you got your friends at school fooled, but I know where you got that big-ass nose.
And it ain't your mama.
That kid probably did something that warranted it, anyways.
Like what? Be Black in America? Cops always say "freeze" first.
- Just listen, duh.
- (LAUGHING) Man You know, sometimes I kind of wish you'd get pulled over, just so you can see.
You know, that would happen if you would, like, let me borrow the car.
So you can crash it? Then how am I supposed to get to work? - Huh? - Or you can get me a new one? - Boy (LAUGHING) - As a graduation gift? Boy, your white friends really got you confused, - don't they? - (EXHALES) Me and your auntie, we're taking you to the Golden Corral when you graduate, and that is it.
(SCOFFS) You take a look at that FAFSA information like I asked? Aaron, I done told you a hundred times, I ain't looking at no loans.
I ain't filling out no F-A-S-A.
I'm ain't cosigning anything.
If you want to get into that school, you'll figure it out.
Didn't I tell you to save? How much you save? Like $4,000.
See? That ain't bad.
A year at ASC is $50,000, Dad.
(WHOOPS, LAUGHS) Damn! (LAUGHING): That's too bad, son.
Looks like you ain't gonna be getting into that school.
(LAUGHING) I do know one thing, though.
If you're still in my house when you graduate, you're paying rent.
Yeah, I know.
And if you miss that bus again, you're walking.
- Four miles? - Or catching MARTA, which we both know you're too scared to do.
Bye, Dad.
- JAMES: Aaron! - What? I love you.
Oh, my God, I know.
(MUTTERS): Jesus.
(SQUEALS, LAUGHS) Oh, can you believe it? Congratulations, babe.
- I'm so excited.
- (CHUCKLES) This is how it all starts Our lives.
I know.
It's amazing.
So, did you get a scholarship? - Takes care of half of it.
- What? We have to figure out what dorm we're gonna be in.
Yeah, maybe we could be on the same floor.
What's wrong? Have you not figured out tuition? Did your dad fill out the FAFSA? Yes, I promise, I'm-a get him to fill it out.
- I'm going to ASC.
- ASC! Go Moles! No fucking way! - Oh, you got in?! - CHAD: Go Moles.
- Of course, yeah.
- KATE: Oh, my God! CHAD: You better be at every one of my games.
You better be at every one of my games.
Uh, yeah.
I'm gonna be too hungover for that, so - Okay.
Oh, my God! - (P.
): All graduating seniors please report to the auditorium.
That's weird.
Do you think it's a drunk driving accident? - Is anyone missing? - I don't know.
Listen, who cares? If we have a free day, we can just go to my house.
- (AARON SCOFFS) - Yeah.
Let's go.
(SHUSHES) Settle down.
We have a very special guest speaker here today.
I had the pleasure of meeting this man at a special engagement this weekend.
I told him I was the principal at Stonewall Jackson High School, and he shared that he was an alumnus of this very same school.
He is a businessman, philanthropist, philosopher, Christian.
He has some words of wisdom for this year's graduating class, and he wanted to speak with you.
Give a big Bobcat welcome to Mr.
Robert "Shea" Lee.
It's all on you.
All eyes on you, Robert.
(MUSIC FADES) Good morning, graduating class.
My name is Robert "Shea" Lee.
Many of you may not know me, but guess what? I know you.
I'm the heir to the Pink Oil hair moisturizer fortune, and my grandfather Stymie Banks built this empire - from the ground up.
- GREG: Mm-hmm.
Some of y'all out there would have hair as dry as a Texas wildfire if it wasn't for my family.
GREG: There you go.
ROBERT: But despite all I've given you, I still feel like there is more to give.
GREG: Always.
The question's always been, "But where do we start?" When I met your principal, I was not expecting to hear the words "Stonewall Jackson High School.
" Those words, they brought me back back to a time that wasn't always good for me here.
And it was at that moment I realized, - we start at the beginning.
- GREG: Mm-hmm.
That's right.
- This was my beginning.
- GREG: Okay, now.
ROBERT: Look, folks, I'm-a make this quick.
I'm gonna donate a million dollars to your school.
And I'm changing the name from that degenerate slave owner, to one of the richest Black men this side of the Mississippi.
From now on, this school is gonna be named the Robert S.
Lee High School.
But wait, there's more.
We're getting even crazier.
I am going to pay every single senior's college tuition (CHEERING, WHOOPING) GREG: Hallelujah! ASC, baby! Yeah! - Who's Black.
- (APPLAUSE STOPS) (CHEERING, WHOOPING, SCREAMING) Black students, report to the gym by 4:00 today and God bless you.
CHAD: This is bullshit.
Like, can he really do that? LIONEL: No, I feel like we can sue him for discrimination.
I mean, this is what they did to Black people in the '50s, - right? - Exactly.
This is fucked up.
This is fucked up, right, Aaron? - Hmm? - CHAD: It's fucked up? Oh, yeah, it's really fucked up.
(CLEARS THROAT) I just don't understand why you would even need to do that.
I mean, they already go to school for free.
CHAD: Exactly.
There's so many, like, programs and foundations and shit to help them.
Like-like, what do we get? Well, you're not supposed to say it out loud, but it's super easy to go to school if you're Black, so I don't think it's super easy.
I'm sure it's not easy if you're Black and poor.
I don't know, babe.
My friend was dating a Black guy, and he got accepted to all his colleges - on a free ride.
- What was his name? I don't remember, but regardless, he's probably gonna stay in school for one year - and then go straight to the NBA.
- LIONEL: Yeah, and he's gonna make a ton of money doing that.
Probably didn't even need that scholarship.
KATE: Oh, yeah.
I remember now.
- Williams son.
- CHAD: William - Williams Whatever.
- KATE: William-Williamson.
STUDENT: Thank you, Jesus! - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God, dude.
- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) - So over it, dude.
(CHUCKLES) You know, it's just like, "Relax.
" Yeah.
Like, why do you need to shout? - Like, what's? - CHAD: Way too much, dude.
Um, I got to go talk to the counselor about the FAFSA loan.
Catch y'all later? - CHAD: Yeah, all right.
- LIONELL: See you.
Richer than I ever been ♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo, doo, doo ♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo, doo, doo ♪ The very first time ♪ That I saw your brown eyes ♪ - Your lips said, "Hello" ♪ - Hello ♪ And I said, "Hi" ♪ I knew right then you were the one ♪ Ooh, dah, dah, doo, doo, doo ♪ But I was caught up, ah ♪ In physical attraction ♪ But to my satisfaction ♪ - Baby, you were more than just a face ♪ - (SIGHS) Okay.
And if I ever ♪ - Ever fall ♪ - Hey.
- In love ♪ - There's auditions for this? He picking who's actually Black.
Crazy, right? Everyone's giving it a shot.
Shouldn't it be based on, like, your parents? I did my research on this guy.
He doesn't believe that ADOS necessitates "Blackness.
" He's really talking about the culture of Black in America.
- (SIGHS) - It's a nuanced discussion.
Yo, could you could you wave check me? Just - (DOOR OPENS) - (STUDENT LAUGHING) All right, I'm-a fuck with y'all, then.
GREG: Hey! Redbone! - Yeah, you! - Oh.
GREG: You up next! Come on.
(EXHALES) I just want to be the one to serve you ♪ - At times, I feel ♪ - Good luck.
- ROBERT: Come into the light.
(GREG CHUCKLES) Ooh, look at this high yellow nigga.
Ha! What's your name, boy? Uh Aaron.
- You said Aaron? (LAUGHS) - It's kind of Black.
- It's in the Bible.
- Kind of.
Yeah, yeah.
- JAY: Hank Aaron.
- ROBERT: Yeah.
GREG: Shut up, fool.
That don't count.
- (CHUCKLING) - JAY: It don't.
ROBERT: All right.
Let's get started.
We're gonna ask you a few questions.
(GREG SCOFFS) Name me six things that mix with Hennessy.
JAY: Ooh, shit.
Um Coke? - All right.
- Good.
(EXHALES) Rum? - He said - What he say? - Huh? - He said, "Rum.
" - Rum.
- (MURMURING) - Shit, oh, shit.
- He might have something.
- That might be good! - (CHUCKLES) I'd try that.
- Mango.
- GREG: He say "Mango"? - JAY: Mango? - And ice? All right, all right.
All right.
Now he just making up shit, but he's creative.
That's all right.
The rum, the rum was good enough.
- It was creative.
All right.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh what happened to that boy at Lenox Mall Oh! I-I heard about that on the radio this morning.
Uh, a police officer killed him in a routine traffic stop, and his dad was in the car.
Yeah, crazy.
I didn't say, "What happened to that boy at Lenox Mall?" I said, "What happened to that boy at Lenox Mall" And the answer was: - "Mm-mm-mm" - Damn shame.
Mm-mm, mmm, mm-mm.
All right.
Enough of the warm-up.
- Let's get down to the nitty-gritty.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, how long can chicken sit on the stove? (EXHALES) Um Bobby and Whitney, or Will and Jada? Whitney.
No, no, no, no, Jada.
Where's the first place you take your cousin after he get out of jail? Why did The Five Heartbeats break up? "Your mama" or "your mother"? Uh SoBe Lizard Milk? NBA Youngboy.
Silk pillow covers? What color are Wendy's napkins? DJ Doo-Doo Brown.
227 and Amen? Holy Spirit or the Holy Ghost? Mustard or mayonnaise? Crisco.
If her foot is in it, it's good? Take this pencil, go make a beat on that table.
The price is on the can.
- Orange or grape Kool-Aid? - (PANTING) - Spell "Dante.
" - DQ or Popeyes? What soda is good for you? If Ne-Yo's hat gets any lower, it's gonna be on his blank? Meghan Trainor.
Essence Fest.
- L-A-Q-U-E-S - (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHING) He stupid.
He stupid.
- ROBERT: All right.
This was fun.
- GREG: It was fun.
You can say that again.
(LAUGHS) ROBERT: Got to be honest, we had a good time.
GREG: Yeah.
But the tribunal has concluded that - we are not giving you the scholarship.
- Mm-mm.
Why? You ain't Black, boy.
But my dad's Black.
Well, then have him come here, and then I'll give him - the scholarship.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that nigga ain't go to college.
(LAUGHING) This isn't fair! You're not giving me the scholarship because I'm light skin?! You are white! - Greg.
- You are You shut the fuck up! - You are white! You white! - Hold on, Greg.
He just told you, Blacks only.
He couldn't answer any of the questions, could he? - He's white! - Hmm.
GREG: I knew he was white when he first walked up in here.
And he ain't got no Black friends.
JAY: How you know that? I'll tell you why come I know.
'Cause if he did have some Black friends, they would have told his white ass not to come walking up in here with them Matcha-colored Allbirds.
How long you been coasting on your whiteness, son? See, I used to know a guy like you back in the day.
His name was Clarence Thomas.
Oh, shit.
- He got his.
- Clarence Thomas? You just got yours.
Case dismissed.
GREG: Now, take your ass on out of here.
(CHUCKLING) You didn't have to call the boy Clarence Thomas.
Shit, he ain't that white.
This guy's a psycho! I'm not Black because I have white friends? - We should sue him.
- (CHUCKLING) I'm serious.
Is this funny to you? - A little bit, yeah.
- Dad, I won't get to go to college because this guy's racist, or colorist or whatever.
Fuck this dude! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, kemosabe.
Relax, some I mean, that's part of being Black.
Sometimes you don't get the things you know you deserve.
So, just charge it to the game.
Hey, listen, uh, I'm gonna be at the workshop tonight, so I'll be home a little late.
So, if you could take out Hey? You good? Who is D'Andre and why are you talking to him? KATE (ON PHONE): I wasn't.
He commented on my page.
But you responded.
I literally saw you respond.
Would you chill? I met him on a school tour.
- It's not a big deal.
- Don't tell me to chill.
If this was some chick I met on tour at ASC, you'd be livid and you fucking know it.
No, I wouldn't, 'cause I know you're not going to ASC.
What? Look, Aaron I know you're not going.
You kept pushing it off, and I know you haven't applied for loans, and I know you don't have the money.
You're just not going, and we should just end this now.
What are you saying? I think we should break up.
I'm sorry, Aaron.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
GAMER 1: Man, this nigga's scared.
I can feel it.
GAMER 2: This nigga's trash.
Get him out of here.
ROBERT: I am going to pay every single senior's college tuition GAMER 2: You ready to die, white boy? (ECHOING): who's Black.
You are white! (DISTORTED LAUGHTER) GREG: He just told you, Blacks only.
You are white! You white! I mean, that's part of being Black.
Sometimes you don't get the things you know you deserve.
GREG (ECHOING): You are white! You white! (DISTORTED LAUGHTER) (ECHOING, DISTORTED): You are white! Who are you? Felix.
Who are you? What are you doing? I'm about to burn this motherfucker down.
What are you doing? He said you weren't Black, too.
My parents are from Nigeria.
I was born there, but I don't even remember it.
I'm from Lithonia.
- I get it.
- Get what? I understand what he means.
You're not really Black.
You have an entire culture to pull from.
You know where you're from, you can trace your lineage, and you have a country to go home to.
That's not really Black.
Well, I'm Blacker than you.
You look like fucking Frankie Muniz.
You think if I walk down the street in your neighborhood, they're not gonna stop me because I'm African? I had to take the bus here and assemble this shit by the dumpster.
Bet you just walked on over here, in front of everyone.
Keep your Black card tucked, bruh.
Listen, I really don't care anymore.
I'm burning the school down.
Excuse me.
With what? Your little bargain bin flamethrower? Nigga, I'm burning this school down.
You know what? What if I burn you first? Oh, wait.
Too late.
Was that a dark skin joke? (GASPS) (PANTING) (PANTING) (RAPID FOOTFALLS APPROACHING) Got you, bitch.
(GUNSHOT) - OFFICER: Freeze! - (GASPS) (PANTING) (SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) La, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ (TIRES SCREECH) La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la ♪ Oh, my God.
My school.
Hey, did you try to burn my school down? You really wanted that scholarship, didn't you, boy? Well, before they wheel you away, just know one thing.
Getting shot by the police is the Blackest thing anybody can do.
- (CRYING) - Make sure he survives, okay? Take him to "White Grady.
" You mean Emory? White Grady.
Don't worry about your medical bills.
We're gonna take care of those.
Here's your scholarship check, okay? - (CRYING): Thank you, sir.
- Just get better.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
(AMBULANCE DOORS CLOSE) (SIREN CHIRPS) La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ (SIREN WAILING) La, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la ♪ La, la, la, la ♪ La, la, la ♪ La, la, la.
♪ AARON: You know, shit was crazy.
You know, just try to keep your head down, lay low.
- Mm-hmm.
- You'll be good, you know? But, yeah, my PO cool and all, still a pain in my ass, though.
Nigga act like he own me or some shit.
(CHUCKLES) But yeah, you know, this is my favorite type right here.
They don't pay me enough to tell you that.
- (CHUCKLES) - But, I fuck with it, you feel me? - So - Aaron? Hold on one sec.
- Take this up front.
- Okay.
Tell Derrick to fuck with you with my discount code, - a'ight? - (CHUCKLES) Okay.
You gonna text me? A'ight.
I'll see you later.
That ass stupid.
What's up? Nothing, um how are you? I'm good.
How's ASC? It's great.
How's, um how's here? It's a'ight.
You know.
Same old shit, different day, you know how it goes.
Um yeah.
All right.
It's good to see you.
Can I be honest with you? I've never been more attracted to you in my life.
(CHUCKLES) Aaron (LOOSE ENDS' "HANGING ON A STRING" PLAYING) I've waited, oh, so long ♪ For you to come to me ♪ What did I do wrong? ♪ It's all a mystery to me ♪ Baby, I feel it, too ♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪ Maybe I've just changed ♪ Or can I be wrong for you? ♪ (VOCALIZES)
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