Axe Cop (2013) s02e09 Episode Script
The Extincter
Axe Cop! Night mission! Ow! Axe Cop, how much further? - I think I got a pebble in my shoe.
- Thirteen and a half more steps.
- But we're in the middle of the forest.
- Shh! We're here.
Whoa whoa whoa, watch out for the raccoon, Axe Cop.
- Those things are vicious! - She is not vicious.
She is crying because she is the only raccoon.
What do you mean, "only"? Only one left.
She says bad hunters have been sweeping the forests.
Wait, so this is the last raccoon on Earth? - Was the last raccoon.
- What? I'll chop your Our boss is just gonna love adding you to his collection.
Who knows, maybe we'll go ahead and skin you boys, too, just for fun.
Chubby here might make a nice rug for my ping-pong room.
Axe Cop, chop the net! No need.
Hoot! What the heck? Thank you, owl army.
Owl army? Where did all those cute owls get those little axes from? I've been training them to go on night missions with me.
Since they're already awake all night, I knew they'd be perfect for the job.
That's weird, I've never seen them on one of your night missions.
They're ninjas.
No one sees them, Flute Cop.
Kevin, Roger, get this raccoon to safety! The rest of you, take Flute Cop and I to the secret volcano.
- Why are we going to a secret volcano? - To find Bigfoot.
Bigfoot? He's real? Yes.
And he'll know who's behind all this.
Hoot! Son of a gun, Bigfoot is real.
I wonder what else is.
One day, at the scene of the fire, the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day he became Axe Cop.
I need a partner now.
So he had tryouts and hired a partner.
My name is Flute Cop.
There are evil babies on the loose! I will chop your heads off! There! The volcano! Axe Cop, I am no volcanologist, but aren't volcanoes too hot to go inside of? Not this volcano.
It's the secret hideout of Bigfoot's team, the Mysterious Beast Force.
A freak squad of mythical creatures who protect all animals.
Hoot! What's the secret password? There's no time for secret passwords.
Stand down, Jackalope.
It's just Axe Cop.
Ah! Where's Bigfoot? I need to talk to him.
- Gone, amigo.
Missing.
- Missing? We've been searching for him, but all we could find was his beast watch.
We fear he may have fallen into the hands of The Extincter.
The Extincter.
That's the bad guy who wants to make all the animals go extinct.
Correct.
He has a huge army of animal brain-eating hunters.
They worship him like a god.
We've been tracking his progress on the extinctometer.
Geez.
This is awful.
Oh no! We just lost otters! But that's my favorite animal.
We must find Bigfoot.
We can use his super jumps and Bigfoot stomp attack to defeat the Extincter.
How do we know that the Extincter doesn't already have him? Look.
There's still one Bigfoot.
Flute Cop, you stay here and monitor the extinctometer.
I don't know if I can handle this Ah! Flamingos are gone! Beast Force you're gonna show me where you found this.
Yep, let's go! Okay! I'll just be here by myself, watching all the animals die Huh? Look at you.
Poor little skunk.
Are you the last one of all? Ah, you are so strong, so br Wait a second the extinctometer says that all skunks are extinct! Oh, whoa! Axe Cop and the Beast Force just left, boss.
Tracking them now.
Should lead us to Bigfoot in no time.
I'm dispatching some of my finest hunters as we speak.
I take it you enjoyed the skunk brain? Tasted terrible but it let me stink up this place to great effect.
Peachy.
My hunters! It's time to unveil the latest addition to our hallowed hall of extinction.
Allow me to present the last platypus! And now for the delicious part claiming its powers! Soon we'll add the elusive last Bigfoot to our collection.
Once I absorb his powers, no one will be able to stop us from finishing what we started.
Now, go! Take to the wilderness, my brethren and shoot everything that moves! You're sure this was the spot? Yes, but we already searched this area.
Hmm now, if I was a Bigfoot, where would I go so no one could see me? Only the best hiding place ever! Behind a waterfall! Gotcha! Tranq 'em, boys! We checked everywhere.
Still no sign of Bigfoot.
Let's get these three back to the lodge.
We'll use 'em as Bigfoot bait.
What about Axe Cop? - Hmm - Uh, disappeared.
We lost him.
Eh, don't matter.
Nobody wants his stupid brain anyhow.
What the heck? I gotta do something! Ah! Ow! - What? - Axe Cop, we got a serious situation here.
I can't talk now.
I'm infiltrating the Extincter's base - and trying to save all the animals.
- That's what I'm trying to tell you! Almost all the animals on Earth are dead! And I was attacked by a skunk man! Flute Cop, take a bath in tomato juice and wash your clothes in chocolate milk.
That will neutralize the smell.
Extincter! Looks like your hunters fell for the oldest hunting trick in the book - the decoy.
- Axe Cop.
There you are.
I was just waiting for your old chum Bigfoot to show up and try to save his friends, but I'm getting a little impatient.
Maybe I'll have a little snack in the meantime.
- Help! - Help! After all, these three are the last of their kind and you practically brought them right to me.
- Help! - Help! And they'll go quite nicely with my Arctic tiger, Spanish giraffe, kangaroo, and all the others once I eat their brains.
- That's gross! - No, it's not.
It's helping me become the strongest, smartest animal on Earth.
And soon I'll be the only one.
- But why would you want to do that? - Funny you should ask.
I used to love animals.
In fact, I worked at a ZOO.
But people got tired of seeing the same old monkeys and lions.
Revenue declined.
So I went to the heads of the ZOO with an idea.
I told them if we let some of the boring species go extinct, we could use the brains of the last ones to combine their powers, create new, better animals that people would be excited to see.
But instead of thanking me, they fired me! And told me I wasn't allowed to go to the ZOO ever again.
They even took away all my pet animals, my only friends.
So I changed my plan a little.
I decided to get rid of all the animals and absorb their powers myself.
Put the ZOOs out of business.
Then I'd be the only game in town.
The only animal on Earth.
And everyone would have to pay to come and get a glimpse of me! That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard.
I have a better plan.
Step one, I chop your head off.
You're gonna have a tough time doing that, Axe Cop, once I eat your friends' brains and steal their powers.
Not if I eat them first.
I already removed their brains while you were telling your dumb backstory.
They're in my fist.
- What? - I'll get you new brains.
I promise.
Chupacabra leg! Jackalope horns! Nessie neck! Mysterious Axe Beast! Water buffalo, gorilla fist, cobra! Tree frog, antelope, hyena! Porcupine attack! You really think you can defeat me, Axe Cop? Yes.
With the help of my super secret animal weapon attack! Hoot hoot hoot.
Hoot.
You're friends with a hoot owl? Oh, that's so cute.
Actually, I was talking about Bigfoot.
- You found Bigfoot? - Bigfoot no like you.
Bigfoot! Super secret stomp attack! - What the heck? - Extincter, you just got extincted.
Well, you did it, buddy.
One question, though.
How did you manage to bring all the dead forest animals back to life? I chopped the Extincter's brain into tiny pieces and had Uni-Man insert them into all the animals he killed.
We even got the Beast Force back together.
Uh the Mysterious Beast Force assemble!
- Thirteen and a half more steps.
- But we're in the middle of the forest.
- Shh! We're here.
Whoa whoa whoa, watch out for the raccoon, Axe Cop.
- Those things are vicious! - She is not vicious.
She is crying because she is the only raccoon.
What do you mean, "only"? Only one left.
She says bad hunters have been sweeping the forests.
Wait, so this is the last raccoon on Earth? - Was the last raccoon.
- What? I'll chop your Our boss is just gonna love adding you to his collection.
Who knows, maybe we'll go ahead and skin you boys, too, just for fun.
Chubby here might make a nice rug for my ping-pong room.
Axe Cop, chop the net! No need.
Hoot! What the heck? Thank you, owl army.
Owl army? Where did all those cute owls get those little axes from? I've been training them to go on night missions with me.
Since they're already awake all night, I knew they'd be perfect for the job.
That's weird, I've never seen them on one of your night missions.
They're ninjas.
No one sees them, Flute Cop.
Kevin, Roger, get this raccoon to safety! The rest of you, take Flute Cop and I to the secret volcano.
- Why are we going to a secret volcano? - To find Bigfoot.
Bigfoot? He's real? Yes.
And he'll know who's behind all this.
Hoot! Son of a gun, Bigfoot is real.
I wonder what else is.
One day, at the scene of the fire, the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day he became Axe Cop.
I need a partner now.
So he had tryouts and hired a partner.
My name is Flute Cop.
There are evil babies on the loose! I will chop your heads off! There! The volcano! Axe Cop, I am no volcanologist, but aren't volcanoes too hot to go inside of? Not this volcano.
It's the secret hideout of Bigfoot's team, the Mysterious Beast Force.
A freak squad of mythical creatures who protect all animals.
Hoot! What's the secret password? There's no time for secret passwords.
Stand down, Jackalope.
It's just Axe Cop.
Ah! Where's Bigfoot? I need to talk to him.
- Gone, amigo.
Missing.
- Missing? We've been searching for him, but all we could find was his beast watch.
We fear he may have fallen into the hands of The Extincter.
The Extincter.
That's the bad guy who wants to make all the animals go extinct.
Correct.
He has a huge army of animal brain-eating hunters.
They worship him like a god.
We've been tracking his progress on the extinctometer.
Geez.
This is awful.
Oh no! We just lost otters! But that's my favorite animal.
We must find Bigfoot.
We can use his super jumps and Bigfoot stomp attack to defeat the Extincter.
How do we know that the Extincter doesn't already have him? Look.
There's still one Bigfoot.
Flute Cop, you stay here and monitor the extinctometer.
I don't know if I can handle this Ah! Flamingos are gone! Beast Force you're gonna show me where you found this.
Yep, let's go! Okay! I'll just be here by myself, watching all the animals die Huh? Look at you.
Poor little skunk.
Are you the last one of all? Ah, you are so strong, so br Wait a second the extinctometer says that all skunks are extinct! Oh, whoa! Axe Cop and the Beast Force just left, boss.
Tracking them now.
Should lead us to Bigfoot in no time.
I'm dispatching some of my finest hunters as we speak.
I take it you enjoyed the skunk brain? Tasted terrible but it let me stink up this place to great effect.
Peachy.
My hunters! It's time to unveil the latest addition to our hallowed hall of extinction.
Allow me to present the last platypus! And now for the delicious part claiming its powers! Soon we'll add the elusive last Bigfoot to our collection.
Once I absorb his powers, no one will be able to stop us from finishing what we started.
Now, go! Take to the wilderness, my brethren and shoot everything that moves! You're sure this was the spot? Yes, but we already searched this area.
Hmm now, if I was a Bigfoot, where would I go so no one could see me? Only the best hiding place ever! Behind a waterfall! Gotcha! Tranq 'em, boys! We checked everywhere.
Still no sign of Bigfoot.
Let's get these three back to the lodge.
We'll use 'em as Bigfoot bait.
What about Axe Cop? - Hmm - Uh, disappeared.
We lost him.
Eh, don't matter.
Nobody wants his stupid brain anyhow.
What the heck? I gotta do something! Ah! Ow! - What? - Axe Cop, we got a serious situation here.
I can't talk now.
I'm infiltrating the Extincter's base - and trying to save all the animals.
- That's what I'm trying to tell you! Almost all the animals on Earth are dead! And I was attacked by a skunk man! Flute Cop, take a bath in tomato juice and wash your clothes in chocolate milk.
That will neutralize the smell.
Extincter! Looks like your hunters fell for the oldest hunting trick in the book - the decoy.
- Axe Cop.
There you are.
I was just waiting for your old chum Bigfoot to show up and try to save his friends, but I'm getting a little impatient.
Maybe I'll have a little snack in the meantime.
- Help! - Help! After all, these three are the last of their kind and you practically brought them right to me.
- Help! - Help! And they'll go quite nicely with my Arctic tiger, Spanish giraffe, kangaroo, and all the others once I eat their brains.
- That's gross! - No, it's not.
It's helping me become the strongest, smartest animal on Earth.
And soon I'll be the only one.
- But why would you want to do that? - Funny you should ask.
I used to love animals.
In fact, I worked at a ZOO.
But people got tired of seeing the same old monkeys and lions.
Revenue declined.
So I went to the heads of the ZOO with an idea.
I told them if we let some of the boring species go extinct, we could use the brains of the last ones to combine their powers, create new, better animals that people would be excited to see.
But instead of thanking me, they fired me! And told me I wasn't allowed to go to the ZOO ever again.
They even took away all my pet animals, my only friends.
So I changed my plan a little.
I decided to get rid of all the animals and absorb their powers myself.
Put the ZOOs out of business.
Then I'd be the only game in town.
The only animal on Earth.
And everyone would have to pay to come and get a glimpse of me! That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard.
I have a better plan.
Step one, I chop your head off.
You're gonna have a tough time doing that, Axe Cop, once I eat your friends' brains and steal their powers.
Not if I eat them first.
I already removed their brains while you were telling your dumb backstory.
They're in my fist.
- What? - I'll get you new brains.
I promise.
Chupacabra leg! Jackalope horns! Nessie neck! Mysterious Axe Beast! Water buffalo, gorilla fist, cobra! Tree frog, antelope, hyena! Porcupine attack! You really think you can defeat me, Axe Cop? Yes.
With the help of my super secret animal weapon attack! Hoot hoot hoot.
Hoot.
You're friends with a hoot owl? Oh, that's so cute.
Actually, I was talking about Bigfoot.
- You found Bigfoot? - Bigfoot no like you.
Bigfoot! Super secret stomp attack! - What the heck? - Extincter, you just got extincted.
Well, you did it, buddy.
One question, though.
How did you manage to bring all the dead forest animals back to life? I chopped the Extincter's brain into tiny pieces and had Uni-Man insert them into all the animals he killed.
We even got the Beast Force back together.
Uh the Mysterious Beast Force assemble!