Back to You (2007) s01e14 Episode Script
Chuck and Kelly, Doin' It Again
Previously on "Back To You" But you heard what I said, right? Chuck is your father.
Why do I even need to have a dad? Why can't it just stay you and me? She just reacted that way because she doesn't really know me that well.
Trust me.
You give me 10 minutes with her and I will bring her around.
You think that Gracie is just gonna magically accept you - because you brought her a-- - Puppy! Back To You is recording in front of a life studio audience.
Okay, isn't this fun? First day driving to school in your dad's car.
This is a memory that will last for the rest of your life.
Which will be 'bout 2 minutes if you keep driving into this neighborhood.
Where are you going? I-i'm sorry, I don't know where the school is.
It's across road public library.
I'll direct you.
Take a left.
What are you gonna say to my teacher? Well, honey, we just wanna give her a heads-up because we're telling everyone that Chuck's your father today.
You know, just in case anybody says anything.
Like how Amber got teased when her dad went to jail? Yeah, unfortunately.
People should just mind their own business.
That's right.
Who's Amber's dad? If anybody bothers you, just ignore them.
What'd he do? A little this here? Remember, sticks and stones.
Yeah, that's what they threw at Jeremy after that video of his mum.
Video? You mean "video"-video? Honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
You understand that, right? Have you thought about how you're gonna tell your friends? I'm just gonna tell Zoey after school.
She's a huge blabbermouth.
Will save me a lot of leg work.
Are you sure you're alright with this? Well, it's a little scary.
But yeah, I'm just glad, I don't really have to keep it a secret anymore.
I know exactly how you feel, honey.
Secrets aren't good.
They always come out.
Like when Trent's mom headed over to that special hospital.
Okay, this is crazy.
You gotta get me caught up.
:: board.
tv4user.
de presents :: :: Back To You - Season 1 :: :: Episode 14 "Chuck and Kelly, DoinÂ’ It Again" :: - Hey, Marsh.
- Hey, Gary.
Great tie.
Oh, thanks.
Some fancy italian designer.
The salesman was a gay.
So I figured, "what the heck?".
Really beautiful.
Well, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
Great colors.
You know what? Take it.
It's yours.
What? No! Seriously, you said you like it.
- I want you to have it.
- Marshall, I'm not gonna take your tie.
Please.
It will make me happy.
But you need a tie for the news cast.
I'll take yours.
This ratty thing? Hand it over, mister! Wow! I don't know what to say.
This is so cool! You don't have to say anything.
Just seen you look so happy is all the thanks I need.
Morning, everybody! Oh, nice tie, Gary.
Son of a bitch! Okay, we gotta get to work on this press release.
Don't you think that teacher's a bit of a nut job? Being so disapproving of our having a child together? - Nice school, you chose.
- Hey! There's a waiting list for that school.
To get in or out? Too, Ms.
Gibson is not even her regular teacher.
She's just filling in until Mr.
Random gets back.
Where did he go? We better get going on this.
Hold on.
What? I'm just thinking.
Wait! You're not nervous at all? No, I'm fine.
Don't! Just a minute! First of all, I can't believe you can actually type that fast.
I'm saying of all that that That teacher's attitude didn't bother you at all? Aren't you afraid, everybody's gonna be that judgmental? No, they won't be.
You don't know that! For at least, we could do maybe a little dry run.
For our friends.
That way, we wouldn't have to read about it in a press release.
Okay, if that's gonna make you happy, then we can do it.
Oh, now you're just showing off.
Stop that! Marsh, Gary, Ryan.
Yeah, come on everybody.
Just - kinda gather around.
- Yeah, yeah.
Uh, please everybody.
We have a little announcement to make, and, uh, we should have done this, uh, maybe a long time ago, but, uh, for several reasons we put it off until now.
Uhm, Kelly and I We'd like to buy everyone coffee.
On us.
Yeah! Whoo! Does that include muffins? No! What was that? I don't know.
I don't know.
I just all of a sudden got cold feet.
Yeah, but now we're on the hook for coffee.
And, trust me.
There will be muffins.
I was just thinking, the minute we tell them they're gonna all picture us naked, doing it.
No, they wouldn't.
Of course, they will.
You know how when someone tells you they're gonna have a baby.
The first thing you think about is them having sex.
You do not! Oh, you're serious? Everybody does that.
Like when you see a cute couple jogging along.
You immediately picture them going home and having sex in the shower.
Oh, honey.
We gotta get you a man.
Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, thanks for the coffee and muffins.
I told you.
Alright.
So, I got a bunch of stuff to show you, and I think you gonna get pretty psyched.
What is it? It's our new ad campaign, "Chuck and Kelly doin' it again!" What does that mean? Well, it plays on your history.
You did it together 10 years ago, and now you're doing it again.
Sure looks like we are.
I saw it on a bus this morning.
It looked awesome.
- It's on busses? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Check it out.
Busses, coffee sleeves, mini- balloons, radio spots.
Here, listen.
Chuck and Kelly, doin' it again! Chuck and Kelly Okay, that's enough.
Okay.
Make it stop! Make it stop! Uh, this is weird.
It must be stuck.
Ju-- Ouch! So? What do you guys think? Certainly, there's a lot of us doing it.
That doesn't sound vaguely sexual to you? What? No! No one thinks of you guys that way.
All this says is you did it 10 years ago, and now you're maybe coming from behind, but you're gonna be back on top.
Are you not hearing any of this? Let's end it.
Ryan, we don't like the campaign.
Please.
Please, think you're gonna have to cancel it.
Today, right now! You guys know I don't have that kind of power.
You're gonna have to talk to Ginger Ko.
Okay, fine.
Oh, my god.
This is a nightmare.
- Where did we even take this picture? - I have no idea! And who even poses like that? I mean, come-- Dammit! And this tagline, I do not like the ??in you end?? there.
Yeah, well, you look like you were enjoying it there.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, it's Italian.
Giving you a lot of compliments on the tie, huh? Yeah, thanks again, Marsh.
No problem.
I'd be surprised if you weren't getting compliments.
By the way, you ever figured running an iron over this one? Bottom's curling up like a Jester slipper.
Marsh, do you want the tie back? Gary, it was a gift.
I don't give gifts and then take 'em back.
No matter how damn beautiful.
Okay, now there's no shame in wanting it back.
Gary, in 1971 I was a cub reporter in that Pirates clubhouse after a game.
And I complemented Roberto Clementi on this money clip.
You know what he said to me? It's yours, amigo.
He hand it to me.
Just like that! That is the code by which I've lived my life ever since.
Wow! What an awesome money clip! Son of a bitch! - Hello! - Hi! Hey, there they are! Pittsburgh's most awesome news team.
Doin' it again! Get used to it.
That's what everyone's gotta be saying.
- Actually, we'd like to have a little talk with you about it.
- Did you get the flowers? What flowers? I sent flowers to congratulate you on the launch.
You didn't get that? Oh, no! Marcus was supposed to Marcus, ??sick?? a memo: "I am fired!".
Now read it back.
I-- This is always in the campaign grades.
Please, have a seat! It was not easy to convince corporate to shell out that much money on promotion, but - I really went to the mat.
- Ohhh! Well, we really appreciate it, but we, uh, we-we have some concerns.
Oh? This will shock you, but, uh, - Chuck and I-- - Kelly and I-- - On his last night here-- - Just 10 years ago-- - we - Started the sentence? Get to the point.
We slept together, once, and we had a child.
Oh, my god! What did you do with it? We dropped it off at school this morning.
You kept it? That's so intense.
What's its name? Her! Her name is Gracie.
And, we've hidden the fact that Chuck is her father for all these years and we were planning on going public with it.
Ironically, today.
Ohhh! Now I see why you're so upset.
In that context, this poster seems completely sexual.
Exactly! Yeah, you could imagine what effect that would have on our daughter.
She's only 10.
Yes, and-and that's why we need you to pull the ads.
Oh, I'm not pulling anything.
I got a half million dollar media buy, and I am not about to eat because you two decide to play "Brady bunch".
Oh, I think that's hardly a fair comparison.
That was two families and Mike was an architect, right? You kept to the secret for 10 years, you can wait a little longer.
How much longer? Until the campaign runs its course.
Until then, zip it.
And, zip it.
You know, I find that statement incredibly offensive.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Here's a complaint form for that.
I'll fill out your information.
And, uh, sign it.
And, I think we're ready to file it.
Okay, that really is offensive.
Alright, you can file an appeal.
We get it, we get it.
Let me be clear: if you'll go public with this, you'll turn my campaign into a half million dollar dirty joke.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
I'm sorry, Ginger.
There's really nothing you could do about it.
Ever hear of a show called "Sunrise Pittsburgh"? It's a little morning show we do here at 5 a.
m.
.
And we need new anchors for the summer.
- Now hold-- - Hang on, Kelly! We are playing poker here, and she is clearly bluffing.
You're not about the anchors of the 6-clock-news on the eve of a new campaign, to put us on a morning show.
I'll make you do both.
Okay, I fold.
What have you got? Chuck and Kelly doin't it again! Chuck and Kelly-- Alright, I gotta get this.
Sorry.
Okay.
I texted Gracie.
Told her not to say anything.
I gotta tell ya, I do not appreciate Ginger Ko threatening me like that.
She's so stupid.
It's like she's never even watched the "Brady bunch".
That is what you're mad about? Hey, five minutes, guys.
What are you wearing? Oh, it's a male body spray.
Do you like it? No, no, no! The shirt! Oh, right, yeah! We got a memo.
We're supposed to wear 'em.
What do you guys think? Topped in or hanging out? - Out! - Yeah, I think so too, cos'-- - No, out! - it makes me look fitter! Still wanna go public? I will not be bullied.
So what? We have to wake up earlier for a little while.
It's worth it if we stand up for a principle.
No, maybe you're right.
Hey, Gary! You used to do "Sunrise Pittsburgh", didn't you? Oh, god! The worst 10 months in my life.
Up at 3 a.
m.
, everyday.
It's dark at 3.
Blue dark.
You get here in the place who's cold and dead empty.
Night becomes day, day becomes night.
You feel like the last man on earth.
Once, a deer ran through the studio.
Do you know how many calls we got? Zero! Then I doubted it ever happened.
I started seeing deer everywhere.
One day I bit my lip on the air just to feel something and it started bleeding.
Do you know how many calls we got? Zero! Thank you, Gary.
Why do you ask any-- oh god! What did you hear? I'm not going back there, I can't.
Ryan! Still wanna go public? I guess, we can wait a little more.
More if "got to the secret" as long.
What secret? We're gonna buy more coffee for everybody after the show.
What is the matter with you? You realize it costs us nothing if you just say "none of your business".
Hi, guys! I not use you big on t-shirts but it covers his ugly tie.
So what was thought to be a million dollars worth of uncut cocaine turned out to be 8 dollars worth of pancake mix.
There will be a retirement party saturday for Rufus, the drug-sniffing dog.
And next, it's in your car.
And it could kill you.
Right after this.
And, clear.
Back in 1:30, guys.
Hey, Gracie! - Hi! Hi, honey! - Hi, Mom.
Hi, Chuck.
Hey, listen.
We need to talk to you real quick.
Can you come here with us? Okay, come here.
Will you just hop up on that chair.
Great.
- So you got my text, right? - Yeah.
Wow, it's, like, 10 degrees colder over here.
- And you didn't tell anybody? - No.
Good, cos' we need to keep it a secret a little bit longer.
Why? Well, honey.
There's a new ad campaign, and if we tell everyone now they might say some pretty rude things about me and Chuck.
What happened to "sticks and stones"? Well, uh Only count this for kids? No, no, Gracie.
Listen, there are some other issues.
How long do we have to wait? Well, maybe 6 months or so.
Maybe a little bit longer.
I'm sorry.
I know you're disappointed.
I was just hoping.
What, honey? What were you hoping? Well, there's this Indian prince weekend for fathers and daughters.
My friends go there every year, and I never get to.
I just thought, finally it's okay.
Listen, Gracie, whenever this weekend is, I promise, we'll do something special.
Yeah, okay.
Honey, we are gonna tell people.
When? In another 10 years? Finally tonight, scientists say Kelly and I have a little bit of news of our own.
We're not just co-anchors.
We're the parents of a beautiful, Her name is Gracie.
I'm her father.
- Oh, my god! - Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Until now we kept this a private matter, but we couldn't be prouder of her.
And we wanted to share it with you, our extended family.
All that's it for all of us here at Channel 9 news.
See you at 10.
We hope.
Well, that's that.
- There's no going back! - Nope! What do you think, Gracie? That was awesome.
My friends are gonna freak.
- Your friends watch the news? - Yeah.
Amber's dad is gonna a lot Oh, so you're ready to face the news room? I'm incredibly nervous.
Not as nervous as they are.
They've each had a gallon of free coffee today.
I think you all know my daughter Gracie.
Guys, I can't believe it.
This is so exciting.
Okay, come here.
Start from the beginning.
How did you two get together? Was he like "let's go get a drink".
Or "I've always had this thing for you".
Please, take that shirt off or I'll tear it off.
Wow, yeah, and what did you say? I'm happy for you, buddy.
Sorry to keep you in the dark for so long, Marsh.
He was in the dark.
Here, I've been saving this.
I figured, you'd tell me sometime.
You knew? She's a tiny you.
First time I saw her in the hospital she finished her bottle, then she buried her shiny, little head right in the nurse's boobs.
I've seen that move before! Hey, Marsh! This is a huge night.
Why don't you grab your camera and get a picture of everybody? Great idea! Alright, everybody line up! Gracie in the middle.
Cheese.
Everybody get ready! Set! - Come here.
- Smile! Wait! People are gonna be looking at this picture forever.
- I want my tie back! - Oh, for god's sake! Take it! Thank you very much.
Oh, that's a really cool camera! Son of a bitch! - Can we have some music? - Sure.
Chuck and Kelly doin' it again! Please change that.
Can you believe Chuck and Kelly have a love child? Oh-ho, I would just tell the doc here-- From the classic film "Evil Destino Ultimo" that was Guiseppe Ricarti's legendary score.
Speaking of legendary scores, how 'bout that Chuck and Kelly? Temperature-wise, it's a brisk 45 degrees.
While outside it's a comfortable 66.
And now, with the traffic.
Here's Chuck.
Here's Chuck.
Chuck? Hmm? Traffic? Alright.
Today's traffic is brought to you by Aurel's hardware store.
Don't forget.
There's a 100 dollar gift certificate that goes to our first caller.
Right.
For the highways and byways, all the major arteries are opening.
I'm thinking about opening one of mine.
Kelly! Kelly! :: for board.
tv4user.
de ::
Why do I even need to have a dad? Why can't it just stay you and me? She just reacted that way because she doesn't really know me that well.
Trust me.
You give me 10 minutes with her and I will bring her around.
You think that Gracie is just gonna magically accept you - because you brought her a-- - Puppy! Back To You is recording in front of a life studio audience.
Okay, isn't this fun? First day driving to school in your dad's car.
This is a memory that will last for the rest of your life.
Which will be 'bout 2 minutes if you keep driving into this neighborhood.
Where are you going? I-i'm sorry, I don't know where the school is.
It's across road public library.
I'll direct you.
Take a left.
What are you gonna say to my teacher? Well, honey, we just wanna give her a heads-up because we're telling everyone that Chuck's your father today.
You know, just in case anybody says anything.
Like how Amber got teased when her dad went to jail? Yeah, unfortunately.
People should just mind their own business.
That's right.
Who's Amber's dad? If anybody bothers you, just ignore them.
What'd he do? A little this here? Remember, sticks and stones.
Yeah, that's what they threw at Jeremy after that video of his mum.
Video? You mean "video"-video? Honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
You understand that, right? Have you thought about how you're gonna tell your friends? I'm just gonna tell Zoey after school.
She's a huge blabbermouth.
Will save me a lot of leg work.
Are you sure you're alright with this? Well, it's a little scary.
But yeah, I'm just glad, I don't really have to keep it a secret anymore.
I know exactly how you feel, honey.
Secrets aren't good.
They always come out.
Like when Trent's mom headed over to that special hospital.
Okay, this is crazy.
You gotta get me caught up.
:: board.
tv4user.
de presents :: :: Back To You - Season 1 :: :: Episode 14 "Chuck and Kelly, DoinÂ’ It Again" :: - Hey, Marsh.
- Hey, Gary.
Great tie.
Oh, thanks.
Some fancy italian designer.
The salesman was a gay.
So I figured, "what the heck?".
Really beautiful.
Well, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
Great colors.
You know what? Take it.
It's yours.
What? No! Seriously, you said you like it.
- I want you to have it.
- Marshall, I'm not gonna take your tie.
Please.
It will make me happy.
But you need a tie for the news cast.
I'll take yours.
This ratty thing? Hand it over, mister! Wow! I don't know what to say.
This is so cool! You don't have to say anything.
Just seen you look so happy is all the thanks I need.
Morning, everybody! Oh, nice tie, Gary.
Son of a bitch! Okay, we gotta get to work on this press release.
Don't you think that teacher's a bit of a nut job? Being so disapproving of our having a child together? - Nice school, you chose.
- Hey! There's a waiting list for that school.
To get in or out? Too, Ms.
Gibson is not even her regular teacher.
She's just filling in until Mr.
Random gets back.
Where did he go? We better get going on this.
Hold on.
What? I'm just thinking.
Wait! You're not nervous at all? No, I'm fine.
Don't! Just a minute! First of all, I can't believe you can actually type that fast.
I'm saying of all that that That teacher's attitude didn't bother you at all? Aren't you afraid, everybody's gonna be that judgmental? No, they won't be.
You don't know that! For at least, we could do maybe a little dry run.
For our friends.
That way, we wouldn't have to read about it in a press release.
Okay, if that's gonna make you happy, then we can do it.
Oh, now you're just showing off.
Stop that! Marsh, Gary, Ryan.
Yeah, come on everybody.
Just - kinda gather around.
- Yeah, yeah.
Uh, please everybody.
We have a little announcement to make, and, uh, we should have done this, uh, maybe a long time ago, but, uh, for several reasons we put it off until now.
Uhm, Kelly and I We'd like to buy everyone coffee.
On us.
Yeah! Whoo! Does that include muffins? No! What was that? I don't know.
I don't know.
I just all of a sudden got cold feet.
Yeah, but now we're on the hook for coffee.
And, trust me.
There will be muffins.
I was just thinking, the minute we tell them they're gonna all picture us naked, doing it.
No, they wouldn't.
Of course, they will.
You know how when someone tells you they're gonna have a baby.
The first thing you think about is them having sex.
You do not! Oh, you're serious? Everybody does that.
Like when you see a cute couple jogging along.
You immediately picture them going home and having sex in the shower.
Oh, honey.
We gotta get you a man.
Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, thanks for the coffee and muffins.
I told you.
Alright.
So, I got a bunch of stuff to show you, and I think you gonna get pretty psyched.
What is it? It's our new ad campaign, "Chuck and Kelly doin' it again!" What does that mean? Well, it plays on your history.
You did it together 10 years ago, and now you're doing it again.
Sure looks like we are.
I saw it on a bus this morning.
It looked awesome.
- It's on busses? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Check it out.
Busses, coffee sleeves, mini- balloons, radio spots.
Here, listen.
Chuck and Kelly, doin' it again! Chuck and Kelly Okay, that's enough.
Okay.
Make it stop! Make it stop! Uh, this is weird.
It must be stuck.
Ju-- Ouch! So? What do you guys think? Certainly, there's a lot of us doing it.
That doesn't sound vaguely sexual to you? What? No! No one thinks of you guys that way.
All this says is you did it 10 years ago, and now you're maybe coming from behind, but you're gonna be back on top.
Are you not hearing any of this? Let's end it.
Ryan, we don't like the campaign.
Please.
Please, think you're gonna have to cancel it.
Today, right now! You guys know I don't have that kind of power.
You're gonna have to talk to Ginger Ko.
Okay, fine.
Oh, my god.
This is a nightmare.
- Where did we even take this picture? - I have no idea! And who even poses like that? I mean, come-- Dammit! And this tagline, I do not like the ??in you end?? there.
Yeah, well, you look like you were enjoying it there.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, it's Italian.
Giving you a lot of compliments on the tie, huh? Yeah, thanks again, Marsh.
No problem.
I'd be surprised if you weren't getting compliments.
By the way, you ever figured running an iron over this one? Bottom's curling up like a Jester slipper.
Marsh, do you want the tie back? Gary, it was a gift.
I don't give gifts and then take 'em back.
No matter how damn beautiful.
Okay, now there's no shame in wanting it back.
Gary, in 1971 I was a cub reporter in that Pirates clubhouse after a game.
And I complemented Roberto Clementi on this money clip.
You know what he said to me? It's yours, amigo.
He hand it to me.
Just like that! That is the code by which I've lived my life ever since.
Wow! What an awesome money clip! Son of a bitch! - Hello! - Hi! Hey, there they are! Pittsburgh's most awesome news team.
Doin' it again! Get used to it.
That's what everyone's gotta be saying.
- Actually, we'd like to have a little talk with you about it.
- Did you get the flowers? What flowers? I sent flowers to congratulate you on the launch.
You didn't get that? Oh, no! Marcus was supposed to Marcus, ??sick?? a memo: "I am fired!".
Now read it back.
I-- This is always in the campaign grades.
Please, have a seat! It was not easy to convince corporate to shell out that much money on promotion, but - I really went to the mat.
- Ohhh! Well, we really appreciate it, but we, uh, we-we have some concerns.
Oh? This will shock you, but, uh, - Chuck and I-- - Kelly and I-- - On his last night here-- - Just 10 years ago-- - we - Started the sentence? Get to the point.
We slept together, once, and we had a child.
Oh, my god! What did you do with it? We dropped it off at school this morning.
You kept it? That's so intense.
What's its name? Her! Her name is Gracie.
And, we've hidden the fact that Chuck is her father for all these years and we were planning on going public with it.
Ironically, today.
Ohhh! Now I see why you're so upset.
In that context, this poster seems completely sexual.
Exactly! Yeah, you could imagine what effect that would have on our daughter.
She's only 10.
Yes, and-and that's why we need you to pull the ads.
Oh, I'm not pulling anything.
I got a half million dollar media buy, and I am not about to eat because you two decide to play "Brady bunch".
Oh, I think that's hardly a fair comparison.
That was two families and Mike was an architect, right? You kept to the secret for 10 years, you can wait a little longer.
How much longer? Until the campaign runs its course.
Until then, zip it.
And, zip it.
You know, I find that statement incredibly offensive.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Here's a complaint form for that.
I'll fill out your information.
And, uh, sign it.
And, I think we're ready to file it.
Okay, that really is offensive.
Alright, you can file an appeal.
We get it, we get it.
Let me be clear: if you'll go public with this, you'll turn my campaign into a half million dollar dirty joke.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
I'm sorry, Ginger.
There's really nothing you could do about it.
Ever hear of a show called "Sunrise Pittsburgh"? It's a little morning show we do here at 5 a.
m.
.
And we need new anchors for the summer.
- Now hold-- - Hang on, Kelly! We are playing poker here, and she is clearly bluffing.
You're not about the anchors of the 6-clock-news on the eve of a new campaign, to put us on a morning show.
I'll make you do both.
Okay, I fold.
What have you got? Chuck and Kelly doin't it again! Chuck and Kelly-- Alright, I gotta get this.
Sorry.
Okay.
I texted Gracie.
Told her not to say anything.
I gotta tell ya, I do not appreciate Ginger Ko threatening me like that.
She's so stupid.
It's like she's never even watched the "Brady bunch".
That is what you're mad about? Hey, five minutes, guys.
What are you wearing? Oh, it's a male body spray.
Do you like it? No, no, no! The shirt! Oh, right, yeah! We got a memo.
We're supposed to wear 'em.
What do you guys think? Topped in or hanging out? - Out! - Yeah, I think so too, cos'-- - No, out! - it makes me look fitter! Still wanna go public? I will not be bullied.
So what? We have to wake up earlier for a little while.
It's worth it if we stand up for a principle.
No, maybe you're right.
Hey, Gary! You used to do "Sunrise Pittsburgh", didn't you? Oh, god! The worst 10 months in my life.
Up at 3 a.
m.
, everyday.
It's dark at 3.
Blue dark.
You get here in the place who's cold and dead empty.
Night becomes day, day becomes night.
You feel like the last man on earth.
Once, a deer ran through the studio.
Do you know how many calls we got? Zero! Then I doubted it ever happened.
I started seeing deer everywhere.
One day I bit my lip on the air just to feel something and it started bleeding.
Do you know how many calls we got? Zero! Thank you, Gary.
Why do you ask any-- oh god! What did you hear? I'm not going back there, I can't.
Ryan! Still wanna go public? I guess, we can wait a little more.
More if "got to the secret" as long.
What secret? We're gonna buy more coffee for everybody after the show.
What is the matter with you? You realize it costs us nothing if you just say "none of your business".
Hi, guys! I not use you big on t-shirts but it covers his ugly tie.
So what was thought to be a million dollars worth of uncut cocaine turned out to be 8 dollars worth of pancake mix.
There will be a retirement party saturday for Rufus, the drug-sniffing dog.
And next, it's in your car.
And it could kill you.
Right after this.
And, clear.
Back in 1:30, guys.
Hey, Gracie! - Hi! Hi, honey! - Hi, Mom.
Hi, Chuck.
Hey, listen.
We need to talk to you real quick.
Can you come here with us? Okay, come here.
Will you just hop up on that chair.
Great.
- So you got my text, right? - Yeah.
Wow, it's, like, 10 degrees colder over here.
- And you didn't tell anybody? - No.
Good, cos' we need to keep it a secret a little bit longer.
Why? Well, honey.
There's a new ad campaign, and if we tell everyone now they might say some pretty rude things about me and Chuck.
What happened to "sticks and stones"? Well, uh Only count this for kids? No, no, Gracie.
Listen, there are some other issues.
How long do we have to wait? Well, maybe 6 months or so.
Maybe a little bit longer.
I'm sorry.
I know you're disappointed.
I was just hoping.
What, honey? What were you hoping? Well, there's this Indian prince weekend for fathers and daughters.
My friends go there every year, and I never get to.
I just thought, finally it's okay.
Listen, Gracie, whenever this weekend is, I promise, we'll do something special.
Yeah, okay.
Honey, we are gonna tell people.
When? In another 10 years? Finally tonight, scientists say Kelly and I have a little bit of news of our own.
We're not just co-anchors.
We're the parents of a beautiful, Her name is Gracie.
I'm her father.
- Oh, my god! - Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Until now we kept this a private matter, but we couldn't be prouder of her.
And we wanted to share it with you, our extended family.
All that's it for all of us here at Channel 9 news.
See you at 10.
We hope.
Well, that's that.
- There's no going back! - Nope! What do you think, Gracie? That was awesome.
My friends are gonna freak.
- Your friends watch the news? - Yeah.
Amber's dad is gonna a lot Oh, so you're ready to face the news room? I'm incredibly nervous.
Not as nervous as they are.
They've each had a gallon of free coffee today.
I think you all know my daughter Gracie.
Guys, I can't believe it.
This is so exciting.
Okay, come here.
Start from the beginning.
How did you two get together? Was he like "let's go get a drink".
Or "I've always had this thing for you".
Please, take that shirt off or I'll tear it off.
Wow, yeah, and what did you say? I'm happy for you, buddy.
Sorry to keep you in the dark for so long, Marsh.
He was in the dark.
Here, I've been saving this.
I figured, you'd tell me sometime.
You knew? She's a tiny you.
First time I saw her in the hospital she finished her bottle, then she buried her shiny, little head right in the nurse's boobs.
I've seen that move before! Hey, Marsh! This is a huge night.
Why don't you grab your camera and get a picture of everybody? Great idea! Alright, everybody line up! Gracie in the middle.
Cheese.
Everybody get ready! Set! - Come here.
- Smile! Wait! People are gonna be looking at this picture forever.
- I want my tie back! - Oh, for god's sake! Take it! Thank you very much.
Oh, that's a really cool camera! Son of a bitch! - Can we have some music? - Sure.
Chuck and Kelly doin' it again! Please change that.
Can you believe Chuck and Kelly have a love child? Oh-ho, I would just tell the doc here-- From the classic film "Evil Destino Ultimo" that was Guiseppe Ricarti's legendary score.
Speaking of legendary scores, how 'bout that Chuck and Kelly? Temperature-wise, it's a brisk 45 degrees.
While outside it's a comfortable 66.
And now, with the traffic.
Here's Chuck.
Here's Chuck.
Chuck? Hmm? Traffic? Alright.
Today's traffic is brought to you by Aurel's hardware store.
Don't forget.
There's a 100 dollar gift certificate that goes to our first caller.
Right.
For the highways and byways, all the major arteries are opening.
I'm thinking about opening one of mine.
Kelly! Kelly! :: for board.
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