Ballers (2015) s03e06 Episode Script

I Hate New York

1 What about you, Brent? What are you bringing to the party? (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) CHARLES GREANE: Siefert.
He's pissed off me and Berg agreed about Kasan T.
He won't let it go.
JULIA GREANE: How 'bout we invite 'em over for a home-cooked meal? - COACH BERG: Come on, get up.
- What you wanna do, Berg? You wanna know what I'm gonna do? (SCREAMS) - Hey, hey, hey - Hey, man.
(GRUNTS) Yo, call the cops, there's a weird white kid in our house.
MAN: (ON PHONE) What house are you in, Rick? MR.
ANDERSON: No one else has been able to make this deal happen.
What makes you think you can? SPENCER STRASMORE: I'll give you two billion reasons why.
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES) Now, that's the kind of spectacle and vision we're talking about.
Hey Kane is in the building, nigga (MUSIC PLAYING) Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top When only heaven's right above it, we on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls is down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is moving kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go.
- ANDERSON: Hey.
- Hey, good morning, Bret.
- Comrades! - Mr.
Anderson.
- You know what? Call me Bret.
- Seriously? Yeah, I mean, what the fuck? I think we're there.
Come here.
- Oh.
- Mwah.
I love this guy.
- Wow.
- I feel the same way, Bret.
Hey, now that Hastings came through with the with the land and the $100 million, I really think it's our turn to step it up.
- We gotta do this.
- All we gotta do is get half of what this monstrosity is gonna cost and the bank will cover the rest, Bret.
Well, my rich foreign friends are opening their checkbooks as we speak, so pack your bags, gentlemen.
We are going on a little road trip.
- Hey! - Where we headed, Bret? First up, Saudi Arabia, then China, then Germany, and then the UK.
These guys are so enamored with American sports, they can't wait to claim their little piece.
How about we just call them? (CHUCKLES) We're we're not texting Mommy and Daddy for beer money like goddamn college students.
Come on, if we don't have the money by next week's owners' meeting, then Bossman can't swing the votes our way.
Plus, we can't leave ASM abandoned that long.
I'm thinking with its significant stake in the global real estate market that Anderson Financial would find a proposal like this - extremely intriguing.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We are not going to fucking New York.
Come on, they already know what we're capable of accomplishing, Bret.
No, no, no.
Yes, and betting on the mother ship is far greater than going global.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
It's four hours away.
No go! You guys might not know this, but I'm not exactly on the greatest terms with the board at the current moment.
- Your name is on the building.
- Doesn't mean diddly dick.
I'm basically just an employee like you two humps.
(LAUGHS) You're an employee with a gigantic yacht and an amazing mansion in Palm Beach.
Come on.
Yeah, you can do this.
You're the man, Bret.
SPENCER: It's the best play we got.
I believe in you.
We.
We believe in you, Bret.
Stop calling me Bret.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) - That the quad? - Yeah.
No dairy, just like you asked.
Got one for myself.
The stuff makes my nerves all jangly.
Maybe it's something else.
Can we not beat around the bush and just talk about what happened the other night? Your wife's a great cook.
Thank her for the to-go plate.
Look, we all thrive on competition in this business.
And the urge to win is exactly how we all got to where we are.
But if you and Coach Berg can't get on the same page, well, all we got is a house built on sand.
The same page? We're not even in the same book or the same fucking library, for that matter.
Okay, so then let's write a new book together.
Good idea.
I got the perfect title - "Finding a New Head Coach.
" - (CHUCKLES) You're gonna let Berg go? No, I think since you two have gotten so close, you're the man to do it.
No, you ain't gonna pull that shit on me again.
This is the head coach, not some offensive lineman.
Better the news comes from a friend.
Maybe you and Julie can whip him up a Last Supper.
Be sure and bring me some leftovers.
Amen.
Damn, T, you got enough food? Fuck you, Jason.
I'm eating for two.
- Well, me and this nigga.
- What's the deal with my new contract? Well, the Pats, they're digging in on a one-year deal.
- Cheap motherfuckers.
- Hey, it's just a starting point.
You know I'm gonna get them to two.
I never missed an assignment or was late for a meeting, and I caught 104 passes last year.
On 138 targets.
Rick's the good-hands man.
- It's not personal.
- Well, I just want my money.
I practically played for free the last two seasons, J.
You asked for a ring, you got one.
You want some more money, we're gonna grind it out with Belichick.
Let me get on it, you enjoy your quinoa, okay? - I'll call you later.
- Please do.
(MUSIC PLAYING) What's wrong with you, man? You're gonna put somebody eye out with a grapefruit.
Get the fuck outta here.
Somebody should kick him out.
- What are you doing? - That wasn't me! It was that guy! What are you doing? Hannah! Hannah, my love, can I get another drink, and make it a real double this time? - Yes, of course.
- Thank you.
We land in, like, 10 minutes.
Yeah, like that's ever stopped me before.
Oh, the pilot says we're being rerouted.
Wait, wait, what? Hold on, what? What's that? What? Can you make it a triple if we're crashing? Anderson Financial moved your meeting to the Hamptons.
Yeah, whoa, whoa.
Why, why, why? The CEO didn't return to the city as planned, so we land in 20 minutes.
- Cool.
- I'll get you that drink.
Probably having a death cult meeting.
It's okay.
It's just a change in location.
Now we gotta listen to that prick brag about his fancy fucking beach house.
It's gonna work out in our favor, all right? Casual setting, it's good for business.
That's right, we do our best work outside of the office.
I closed Josh Norman at The Body Shop.
Yes, and then the Hamptons is where Roc Nation closed that huge Kevin Durant deal for the Warriors.
That's right, good karma.
What are you, a fucking Buddhist now? Bret, do you wanna go over the P&Ls one more time before we land? I know what the damn I know the pitch, okay? I'd just rather do it at a One Direction concert.
I wish you'd stay sitting in one direction.
I'm trying.
And now because of your brisket, I gotta go fire Berg.
I didn't know it was gonna turn into a steel cage match.
You had everybody at the table holding hands, saying grace.
Coach Berg only prays for victory.
I was trying to bring God to the table.
Yeah, to break bread with the antichrist.
You don't want my help, then stop asking.
Why you calling me at work anyway? I just thought you should know.
You want somebody to blame for your mess, go find a big-ass mirror.
You! (CHATTER) - RICKY: Julie Greane.
- Hey! - You're early, Ricky.
- I am, I am indeed.
Eager to hear all is well upstairs, you know.
- MAN ON PA: please call 271 - Hey.
- You remember TTD.
- Unfortunately, I do.
- Ms.
Dr.
Greane.
- Hey.
Just go in there.
- After you.
- All right.
TTD: Doc, I'm concerned.
He's had dizziness, headaches, light sensitivity, some serious-ass memory problems.
I remember telling you to stay the fuck home.
And he's been irritable as fuck, too.
You need to see a neurologist.
Now, it would be unethical for me to examine your head.
But I do have a friend that works in the south wing that can talk to you.
She specializes in brain injuries.
All right, I trust you.
And if you trust her, let's go with it.
All right, here's her card.
Nobody can know about this, not even Chuck, okay? I won't say a word, and Dr.
Robbins is very discreet.
(EXHALES) Thank you.
You're welcome.
I'll tell her you're coming.
- Bring it in, Doc.
- No.
Damn, I'm seeing Charles in a whole new light.
It's about 10:00 p.
m.
, bros in my DM Talking 'bout a house party at the quatrième I had time to think, got dishes in the sink Mama wouldn't let a nigga step out of the house Although she was asleep, passed out on the couch I think it's my time to bounce Put on the flashiest shoes that a nigga could find Don't say nothing to me, it's my time to shine Um, I reminisce about my sexy chick If we get bogged down in private equity bullshit, I'm just gonna break out some locker room stories.
Yeah, maybe spare them the one about how you took a shit in Chad Pennington's cleats.
- What do you say? - (CHUCKLES) He deserved it.
- (CLEARS THROAT) - You okay, boss? Yeah, fine.
Yeah, I'm fine.
(SEAGULLS SCREECHING) JOE: Shit, man, I'd live here.
SPENCER: Yeah, it's a nice one, but you know what? Who gives a shit how nice it is? We're gonna go in there and kill it.
Come on.
Hey, guys, there's something I haven't quite told you - There's my big bro.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, there he is.
How'd you like the new jet? Well, the gold-plated seat belt buckles, very nice touch.
My colleagues Joe, Spencer.
My brother Julian.
Wow.
Hey, we've heard so much about you.
- Yeah, he goes on and on and on.
- I bet he does, I bet he does.
- Come on, let's go inside.
- On and on.
JULIAN: Yeah, come grab a drink.
- Welcome.
- BOTH: Thank you.
Anderson Financial's core business has always been real estate development.
This project goes far beyond any state-of-the-art retractable-roof stadium ever constructed.
970,000 square feet of retail space All right, so let me get this straight.
So, our dalliance into sports with ASM has somehow turned into building an NFL stadium? ANDERSON: That dalliance has proved well worth the company's while.
It's astounding that you're even involved in sports.
I mean, this guy was always the last one to be picked when we were kids.
You were a superstar, though, when it came to eating paste.
Maybe that's why you started balding in the 9th grade, huh? That's funny.
What the fuck are you laughing at? - I wasn't.
- If you're gonna pitch me a sports complex, I wanna hear from the sports guy.
How about it, Spencer? Well, it's really not my place.
- Mr.
Anderson's the boss.
- No, I'm the boss, applesauce.
Not him.
- Mmm.
- (CHUCKLES) All right, very good.
Lay it on me, come on.
Explain to me why we should risk a portion of the family fortune to pay for this thing.
- I don't know - Yo, yo I don't know why the fuck I'm fucking with you I don't know why the fuck I'm fucking with you All right.
- I'd love to.
- Me, too.
I don't know why the fuck I'm fucking with you - MAN: Go, go! - (GRUNTS) - Could ask my man, T - Back up! I ain't the one to be Played like them niggas that you use to play for money No time for acting funky with me I'm watching you, Holland.
- Mine, mine! - Look, why is he? - Mine! - 96% of the time 96% of the time, your head is in your ass! Sprint to the spot, get set, and look the ball in.
What the fuck is wrong with your brain?! (WHISTLE TRILLS) - Hey, Coach.
- Charles.
You got a sec? Oh, no, don't tell me old Ziegfart's still getting on you for the other night.
Yeah, I'm still catching my fair share for that, but that's not why I'm here.
(SIGHS) He sent me down here to let you go.
- You're firing me, Charles? - No, Siefert's firing you.
- I'm just telling you.
- That chickenshit.
Yeah, it's all kinds of wrong.
Oh, is it all kinds of wrong, Charles? - You ain't the one getting fired.
- No, but, I mean But you ain't the one getting fired.
I'm getting fired.
I should've cut him.
The other night when I had him on your dining room table, I had my eyes on your wife's brisket knife.
I swear to God, I saw it I saw it in my mind, Charles.
I could see it I was gonna pick up the knife, I was gonna stick it right in his fucking face.
I couldn't quite get to it, though.
You had me, so I popped him instead.
It's probably better that you didn't stab him.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
It's all good.
It's all good, Charles.
I'll have another job in a week.
This son of a bitch, when they fire him, ain't no team in the NFL is gonna touch him.
And I'll tell you something else, all these players that are killing it out here Sutton, all of them those are your picks.
- Everybody knows it.
- Thanks, Coach.
That's nice of you to say.
Fuck nice, Charles.
I don't do nice.
I hate nice.
- Fuck nice.
Say it.
- Fuck nice.
You're so fucking nice, Charles.
And you were right about Kisan, and he was a moron for not to signing him.
Yeah! Hey, good luck, Berg.
- Fuck you, Charles.
- Okay.
- I got it! (GRUNTS) - No! - (WHISTLE TRILLS) - No! Watch the ball.
What about him? Uh, he didn't he didn't say anything about Csonka.
Didn't say anything about Csonka, huh? Fuck you! The ball doesn't care about you! What's going on? Siefert sent me down here to let him go.
- Aw, man! - Your heads are in your ass! They're in there! Get 'em out! - God! - I think he made the right call.
- See you, Coach! - (WHISTLE TRILLS) You know, the last time I was in New York for business, I sacked Eli three times.
- Knocked his dick in the dirt.
- (JOE CHUCKLES) You know, the transition's been kind of abrupt, you know, going from lining up on Sundays to high-level finance with these aces over here.
Yeah, no, I know who you are, Spencer.
I pay your salary.
So save the anecdotes for your Hall of Fame speech, you know? - (CHUCKLES) Okay.
- JULIAN: All right.
Well, we've got $100 million and a promise to deliver land from Wayne Hastings.
- Oh, the casino guy? - Yeah, the casino guy.
Yeah, Wayne understands that the NFL is the most profitable sports league on earth, and there are only so many opportunities that come along like this.
I mean, you're talking about an enormous real estate play with an A-list tenant.
The Raiders had a great season.
It's a shame Derek Carr went down when he did.
Yeah, he was a great QB.
Let me tell you something about this stadium we're talking about.
It's just not gonna be Raiders games and Super Bowls.
Think about it so, year-round we got college football, we'll have UFC, Final Four, soccer, concerts we're gonna have everything.
(WHISTLES) It's a big swing.
Plan to divest yourself of your clients? (CHUCKLES) Never, no.
That's the ground we built the company on.
You can't possibly hope to handle the day-to-day at ASM while managing a billion-dollar real estate venture.
I've been handling the clients while Spencer runs point on this project.
- Yeah, moving along pretty smoothly.
- Joe's been crushing it.
I read that one of your highest earners was suspended for pot.
SPENCER: Yeah, Vernon Littelfield.
The kid made an honest mistake.
Still, got him four games.
Read it on Twitter before you guys got here.
Well, it's no wonder you guys are thinking bigger.
I mean, the client side must be getting tedious.
Oh, my God, what the fuck?! Jesus Christ, what is this, a business presentation or a goddamn inquisition? You know what? Can somebody please bring Bret a tub of paste to help him calm his nerves? You see that? That's why I didn't wanna come to New York.
(OVERLAPPING VOICES) Whip it up.
He likes to make a mustache.
Put a crown on your head, call yourself king of the idiots.
Tend to your guns.
Fucking piece of shit.
You know what you are? It's so bad, I can't even say it.
Bret, come on.
God damn it, Julian! You gotta be fucking kidding me.
You're the fucking CEO of a major company and you're letting this sibling bullshit get in the way of a massively lucrative deal? You got me up here fucking trying to tap dance for you.
Ah, now we're finally getting to the root of what you actually do for this company, see? - (FRENCH ACCENT) You're a dancer.
- Oh, don't do that.
Ah, you're funny.
Let me tell you something, motherfucker, I ain't no dancer.
But I'm the guy who takes care of his guys, which is a lot more than I can say for you.
So go fuck yourself, fuck-face.
- Fuck you.
- Ooh, the double.
His fingers smell.
(CLAPPING) Well, bravo.
Bravo, Spencer! Feel free to knock over something expensive on your way out.
- (GLASS SHATTERS) - I was kidding! ANDERSON: That was me! It was a picture of you and Dad, you fuck-face.
Type the numbers in the order they appear.
- Let's go, I'm ready.
- All right.
One more and we'll move on.
- One more.
- You got this.
You got it.
Pssh.
Seven, four, three, four, nine, six, one.
(SCOFFS) Man, I can't do that shit, and I ain't never even played football.
I see what you're saying.
I'm gonna be quiet, Doc.
I'm sorry.
Let's test your verbal fluency.
- Okay? This is oral word association.
- (SIGHS) I'd like you to say as many words as you can that begin with the letter C.
They can't be proper nouns and they can't be names of people or places.
Go.
Car.
Carry.
- Cake.
Cave.
- Mm-hmm.
Carrot.
Carrying.
Try not to reuse a word with a different ending.
- You got it, you got it.
- Church.
- Chapel.
- Those ain't the same either.
- Mm-hmm.
- Good job.
She ain't say no curse words.
I mean, it's right there for the taking.
- Cunt.
- Okay, that'll do.
Good job.
Based on the neurocognitive and physical exams I can see that you're suffering from post-concussion syndrome, Ricky.
- What? - Though, I haven't figured out what your friend's problem is.
I just smoke a lot of dope.
Your brain needs to rest and heal.
You should avoid football, stay away from all strenuous activities and stressful situations for at least a month.
Four weeks? And it might be longer.
I mean, there's no real way to tell.
Eating brain-healthy foods can help the healing process.
Things like blueberries and avocados.
Wait, you're saying my brain is jacked and the answer is guacamole? I'm just recommending possible ways to speed your recovery.
We got it, Doc.
I'll make sure he's rested.
I'll be good by the beginning of this season, though, right? Don't assume that.
It could take some more time.
ANDERSON: What do you mean the plane is grounded? - Mechanical issue.
- No, no, we gotta go back.
We gotta go back to Miami.
We can't fly without a fuel control unit.
You know anything about FCUs? I know I gotta FCU the fuck outta here.
I'm afraid I can't help you right now.
- I'm sorry.
- There's nothing wrong with the plane.
I know that.
It's fuck-face.
My brother, he's fucking us.
Yeah, 'cause he's a fucking asshole, that's why.
I gotta tell you, I'm still surprised you didn't tell us he was the CEO.
Defense mechanism, my subconscious speaking.
Because of all the emotional abuse you took.
No, because he's a dick.
Let's say it together one time - I - BOTH: I - fucking hate New York! - fucking hate New York.
- I fucking hate New York! - (PHONE CHIMES) I don't hate New York.
Well, you're gonna love this message from Virginia.
She can't get us out till tomorrow morning.
- Oh, sweet.
- Let's go to my favorite joint.
- Happy hour.
- Okay! Now you're talking.
(MEN CHATTERING) Motive! Look at her ass right there, bro.
SIEFERT: I'll set up the press conference.
All right, can I change my number to 26? Today's date.
That's how much it means to me to be a Dolphin.
- Actually, it's the 25th.
- Oh, shit, 25.
Even better, right? - I'll hit up the equipment manager.
- (CHUCKLES) Appreciate it.
Hey, great to have you onboard.
- Be an exciting season.
- Indeed, man.
Thank y'all.
- Whoo-hoo! - Man, whosever calling the plays is gonna have a fucking field day.
- You look good, Chuck.
- (CHATTERING) (ALL GRUNTING, LAUGHING) KISAN: Yeah, baby! When'd you change your mind? I thought you had concerns.
He brings his boys, he brings his boys.
Wh? Well, uh, in that case, he won't let us down.
He won't let me down 'cause he's your responsibility now.
He rushes for 1,000 yards, stays out of trouble, I'm a genius.
He gets pulled over with a gun under his seat, you fucked up for raising the idea.
Win-win for me, lose-lose for you.
You made a great decision signing him.
We'll see.
We'll see.
I'm taking the Pats' offer.
JASON: Well, they haven't responded to our counter yet.
Take the first damn offer! Money isn't everything, J.
Look, I can get more out of him.
It's just gonna take a little bit more time.
- No drops! Nigga, what you doing? - Man, you threw it How much time do any of us really have, though, J? You actually want me to answer that? What I want you to do is lock down that deal, all right? You know, it's a pretty big turn.
Once we accept, there's no going back.
Don't want to.
Close that shit in the morning.
All right, consider it done.
Bring it.
Ooh, there it is! - Don't don't throw those.
- All right.
Looking like me.
Vern, Vern, Vern, Vern, - listen to me, please.
- (SPENCER GROANS) You should be thanking the good Lord in heaven - that you only got four games.
- Shit.
Don't worry about that.
You're gonna make up for your salary hit with your asset allocation, which is outperforming competing stock and bond indices, by the way, and mutual funds and hedge funds.
You're welcome.
The VR company is standing beside you.
- We're all good.
- Let me talk to him.
Yeah, we'll talk when we get home, okay? Listen, hang on, Spencer wants to talk to you.
- He hung up.
- You fucking hung up.
I he hung up first! Wow, Joe is turning into Spencer 2.
0.
- Yeah, a lot smaller.
- A lot sexier.
JULIAN: Your driver told me I'd find you guys here.
You know, Bret and I used to sneak in here when we were teenagers back when we used to like each other.
You know what? Take your own note - Yes? - and skip the nostalgia.
(CHUCKLES) Come on, come on.
I didn't ground the jet to be a dick.
I mean, I did get a laugh out of it.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
- But, really, I just, you know, wanted to take some time just for my own research.
And I found that NFL franchise values have gone up at a ridiculous rate of 20% per year No shit? and that's worth more than 2.
3 billion on average.
Right, and the Raiders in Vegas would be near the top of that list.
As would the value of the stadium, which is what we've been trying to tell you.
Thing is, uh, no one at this bar is available or capable enough to run this venture.
I mean, this maniac over here, he can't go three minutes before he tells somebody to go fuck themselves.
Well, that "go fuck yourself" was specifically for you.
Yeah, usually, he's way more subdued.
I don't believe you.
So I'm paying for this thing, but I will take control.
Okay? We're gonna hire somebody to oversee the real estate development, somebody with expertise.
And I will act as CEO 'cause that's my area of expertise, and we will all make some money.
(CLEARS THROAT) That's a very generous offer.
I know.
Now go toddle off and whisper amongst yourselves while I order myself a gin gimlet.
- (LAUGHTER, CHATTER) - (MUSIC PLAYING) Get Suzie here a gin gimlet.
He even drinks like a tool.
- Yeah.
- (ANDERSON SIGHS) All right, this is everything we wanted.
(EXHALES) It's not what we wanted.
- Not what we want.
- It's what everybody wants to not do shit and get rich.
That's the American fucking dream.
I started ASM to avoid that sense of entitlement.
I want to build something with my own two hands, with our own two hands, four hands, six hands.
And I didn't work my ass off just so I can hand it off to Julian.
Plus, I don't trust that motherfucker to speak on our behalf.
(SIGHS) A moment of clarity, guys, please.
He wants to give us a lot of fucking money.
It's not about the money, Joe.
Oh, tell Vern that.
Tell Ricky that.
- How much are we in the hole for? - Millions of dollars.
- Millions of dollars, right.
- I don't give a fuck.
We don't wanna do business with him.
I'd rather blow up this whole fucking deal than ever kiss that motherfucker's ring.
Fuck this cock Hello.
(CHUCKLES) Are we gonna fuck or what? Actually, we're gonna pass, little brother.
So you can keep your money.
Or should I say Dad's money? I doubled Father's money.
And do me a favor, will you stop saying "Father" like you're some British fucking orphan? You came for money, I'm agreeing to give it to you.
Are you so dense that you can't see when you've won? Oh, I know when I've won, when we've won.
- I I've done it before.
- Yeah, on the math team.
(CHUCKLES) Fucking asshole.
Okay.
Way to waste a great opportunity.
See you at Thanksgiving, bro.
Shove some stuffing up your ass.
Have a drink.
(DOOR CLOSES) Late night at the office? - I gotta make some moves.
- At 11:15? - Baby, come to bed.
- No.
No, I'm done with Siefert.
I've had it with him.
I'm better than that guy and this job.
I'm telling Jason to put me on the market.
You're gonna quit the job you fought so hard to keep? You told me to start thinking on my own, right? Well, I thought.
Now it's time to do.
Doing exactly what I told you to do isn't exactly thinking on your own.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I ain't gonna let that wreck nothing.
Nope, not me.
I'm done.
Done being tested.
I'm taking my services somewhere they're appreciated and that don't include fetching coffee and kale chips.
He made you get him kale chips? Yeah, I mean, they were in the break room, but still, you know.
So, that's it, huh, just like that? Yeah, unless you got something else you wanna add.
Do you wanna hold hands, baby? Say another prayer? Good luck on your job hunt.
I was gonna fuck you tonight, too.
- Huh? - (DOOR SLAMS) - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (LAUGHTER, CHATTER) - To? - Siblings.
- To siblings.
- Cheer up! Siblings.
The dream won't ever let go Rock us SPENCER: Cheers! (LAUGHS) - And you, you must understand - Ah.
That we are here to lend a helping hand Make it grow You look like a sex offender right now.
This place used to be so much cooler - Oh, gee.
- when it was a dive bar.
These Hamptons pricks, they ruin everything.
That guy.
One last round, all right, before we go up to the hotel.
- No, no, Bret, this is the last round.
- No, no, no, this one.
- Jesus.
- (CHUCKLES) - JOE: Mmm! - Ah! Oh, God.
Fuck, man! I wish you'd told Julian to fuck off after he flew us home.
You know, we could've cleared out the bar cart, probably would've fallen in love with that flight attendant, - had kids.
- (SPENCER CHUCKLES) Hey, what's up with the spooky fucking look? - Maybe I'm up to something.
- Yeah.
Bret, you gonna put a contract down on your little brother? That's not a bad idea, but, no.
Instead instead, I am going to sell everything I own, including my stake in Anderson Financial, and I'm going to cash out on my family trust, and I'm gonna go all in on this fucking deal.
- Yeah.
Yeah! - I am.
You're gonna buy the stadium in Vegas with your own money.
You heard Julian.
It's a great deal.
He might be a stupid fucking prick, but he's a smart stupid fucking prick.
- Where are you gonna get the cash? - The bank.
I'll put up all my assets as collateral and I'll borrow the rest.
- Fuck it.
- Let's think about this for a second.
If this deal goes sideways, then you get fucked completely.
So let's put this idea on ice and let's just focus on ASM.
- Come on.
- Oh, I am focused on ASM.
I'm focused on selling it.
You're gonna sell the company? Hey, I need every nickel I can get if I'm gonna snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, baby.
No, baby, you can't fucking do that.
You asked me to deliver the last piece of this puzzle.
Well, here it is, signed, sealed, and delivered.
But that doesn't mean sell the company.
Fuck it.
I got a good idea.
Why don't we buy these entitled trust-fund fucks a round just out of spite? - That's a terrible fucking idea.
- ANDERSON: Oh, my God.
- This is a bad idea.
- All right, hey, everybody! (COUGHS) - Bret! - How about a round of drinks on us, Anderson Sports Management? - WOMAN: Yeah! - And Spencer Strasmore! - Hey! - (ALL CHEERING) - I fucking hate New York.
- So do I.
New York, New York, big city of dreams And everything in New York ain't always what it seems You might get fooled if you come from out of town But I'm down by law, and I'm from the Dogg Pound It's the incredible, the lyrical You can't be me like Niecey To see me is gonna take a miracle I'm driving motherfuckers hysterical With a touch of this twister, stylistic mixture What I create pulsates, there is no escape Annihilate your mental mind state Dre labels my vocabulary abusive I packs more knowledge than Confucius, I'm deadly Induce you like Medusa, with thoughts to shed And niggas throughout this hemisphere, far and near Prepare, catch me chillin' like the winter Up against the number one contender, as I enter 'Cause I gets heated like friction Motherfuck your whole jurisdiction React, this fact, not fiction Telepathic addiction To this homicidal recital Dangerous and vital to all my rivals Suicidal, brainwaves conveys To the average motherfuckers' minds these days, unh I'm all ready to put work in Take 10 steps, then turn to shoot the first nigga smirking Give a fuck, what's your name? What you claim?
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