Ballmastrz 9009 (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

1
"Ballmastrz."
Oh, boy.
[Both laugh]
Hey,
you recognize me?
Wrap those big arms
around my waist
and make me feel like I dropped
out of high school again.
Agh!
Sheesh. Gaz is really cashing in
on her winning streak.
Why can't I get some?
This ball's got blue balls.
[Laughter]
Oh! Hey, babe.
You know me, right?
How 'bout I rub up
on your sweaty bod
and make you feel like
you dropped out
of beauty school again.
Ugh. Grow some arms,
you stupid bowling ball.
Ah! Your loss, skank!
Hey, how 'bout you, kitten?
You want to hug it out?
If you do it with that guy's
arms, sure.
You can hug me
all night long.
Oh!
Wah!
[Laughter]
♪♪
What's wrong with me ♪
I'm so incom plete ♪
So sad and horny ♪
I just can't compete ♪
With arms and legs
and hands and feet ♪
Just wanna get laid,
but I'm afraid ♪
I'll never get
any action at all ♪
I'm a nobody with nobody ♪
Because I have no body ♪
I'm just a ball ♪
Oh! A tear from a lonely wobble
earns one enchanted wish.
I know
what this sad ball wants,
but be careful
what you wish for!
[Laughs]
Whoa!
[All groaning]
That was sure fun
watching you guys
crawl home last night
on your hands and knees!
What a great exercise to prepare
for tonight's game!
Adolescent sarcasm
noted.
[Groans]
Guys, look!
I woke up with a body a big
sexy rock 'n' roll commando one!
My wish came true!
- [All gasp]
- It's a miracle!
Are you sure that's
regulation ball size?
Who cares? His body's
mucho macho excellence
is only exceeded by my own
consummate masculine hubris!
Right?
I'm a somebody with a buff body!
Whoo! Look at this!
I can punch and crush
with my mighty arms and fists!
All: Yeah!
Stomp and smash their skulls
into concrete
with my sexy legs and feet!
All: Yeah!
I can I can
Whoa. I can give you all
the biggest,
tightest, warmest hugs
I've always longed to give!
- Wait, what?
- Whoa!
You first, Leto!
Come here, you big softie!
This is a good hug.
[Laughs]
Thank you, Baby Ball.
I love it.
Harder! Harder!
This is foreign,
yet welcome.
♪♪
So warm, so safe,
so
Wait, wait, wait!
What's with the nice-guy act?
Now that Baby Ball has
a big, oversized body,
he also has a big,
oversized heart,
and all the warm fuzzies
that come with it.
I do! And so many
wonderful new feelings
and exciting
new things to do!
See you later!
Wow.
I like the new Baby Ball.
I agree.
Me too.
He's super.
I'm not convinced.
Let's see how he does
on the field.
Where's Baby Ball?
I must witness
the violent abilities
of his powerful new body
in combat firsthand!
Maybe you should be
a little sensitive.
He's going through
changes!
Screw that! Rule number-one is
show up for a [bleep] game!
Aah! Hi, guys!
Sorry I'm late.
You will not believe
all the crazy new things
I can do with my new body.
I made you this hand-cranked
ice cream with my own two hands!
Homemade dairy products
are an admirable gesture.
It's pistachio.
Pistachio!
All: Yeah! Baby Ball,
that all sounds great,
but we're late for the game.
Don't worry, Ace.
Follow me as I run there
on these fine muscular legs
of mine!
[All groan]
Me-ouch!
A su-purr-ising entrance
ended in cat-tastrophe
when the Leptons were defeated
by the weakest
yet most adorable wittle team
in the Consortium
the Fluffy Kitty Paw Mobile
Cookie Club.
It looked like a meow-sacre
when Baby Ball arrived sporting
a radical new body mod.
Oh, how adorable.
[Meowing]
[Growls]
Leptons littered the field
with their in-fur-ier opponents.
Meow!
This is so wrong
but it feels so good!
Until Baby Ball's su-purr-ising
traitorous turn.
Meow.
Happy kitties,
all in a row.
Happy kitties
all score goals.
Happy kitties
like milk in a bowl.
Happy kitties,
go, go, go!
Leptons 0.
Kittens 238. Hey-oh!
What was the purpose of
Baby Ball's paw-ful behavior?
Will his teammates still
consider him a fur-iend?
Great effort out there,
everybody!
Baby Ball,
what the [bleep]?!
I'm sorry, Ace, but those
kitties looked so helpless.
This is a game.
Games are supposed to be fun!
- Gasp!
- What?!
Seems like everything
about you got bigger
except for
your stupid little brain.
Ace,
those words are hurtful.
Are you angry with me?
I-I
Ugh!
These feelings are all so new
and confusing.
[Cries]
Eh, I'm surrounded
by drama queens.
But I think I know
how to fix this.
Did you ask me here so you can
call me bad words
and make my heart hurt,
too?
Nope! I'm here to help.
You know what you need?
You need to get your new
big-boy testosterone flowing
and get your new big-boy
killing instincts going,
and nothing works better than a
good ol' cleaning of the pipes.
Are you referring to
sexual intercourse?
I mean, gosh,
do you think that would work?
I'm willing to try.
I wouldn't say that
too loud in here.
You might get
what you ask for.
Hey, look!
Your new hunky bod
is already attracting
the local talent.
I'll let nature
take it from here.
Your sexy muscles
sure look hard.
Can we touch them
and find out?
Uh, sure.
M-My name's Baby Ball.
And I'm pretty sure that
you're giving me an erection.
[Crying]
And then my little friend Ace
says,
"We're a team but not you!
You're just a big ugly jerk,
and I hate you
and your new big-boy body,
and we're not even best friends
anymore!"
He was so angry with me,
and it really hurt my feelings!
[Crying]
Huh? You got the hottest
sex bod in town
and all you can do
is mope it up?
I can't stop
thinking about Ace.
I think maybe
I lost my best friend.
I'll be
your new best friend.
Aaah!
How dare you take advantage of
me in this moment of weakness!
I barely know you!
[Cries]
[Groans]
Tonight, the Leptons
take a ride on the wild side
with the lethal
Jet Fuel Byrabies Moneroes!
Baby Ball: Aah!
His monstrous bod is too swole
for the ball cannon!
[Cheers and applause]
[Tires squealing,
engine revving]
Ah!
[Screams]
Circle up!
Back to back!
We can't form Ballmaster,
and it's all his fault!
Trust me, kid.
Go long!
Hey, ugly!
[Groans]
Ah!
[Grunts]
Whoo!
Aah! Whaa!
Ace,
I'm sorry I let you down!
I'm not sure how to
make this better yet,
but do you think
we can try?
Fine.
But I don't forgive you yet.
Aah! Aaaah!
[Laughter]
How are we supposed to run
with you dangling down there
like a giant nutsack?!
Let's try and twerk it out
together.
Both: Aaah!
[Grunting]
[Growling]
Aaaah!
Hang on,
my sweet, sweet, Ace!
[Grunting]
[Laughs]
Oh! Hmph!
Pew!
He sacrificed himself
for me?
[Cries]
Ah.
Wha?
Don't just stand there,
dummy!
Baby Ball!
You're alive!
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
- [Laughs]
- Yeah!
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
[Laughs]
♪♪
Ballmastrz.
Yeah!
[Laughs]
Ballmaster does it again.
Leptons win!
[Cheers and applause]
♪♪
Baby Ball ♪
You were sad
and filled with lust ♪
A tear fell,
summoning my angel dust ♪
A body you wished for,
and you did receive ♪
But your problems
it did not alleve ♪
Your wish taught you that
love could tear you apart ♪
It's not easy having a heart ♪
You had a big-boy body
this whole time, silly ♪
You share it with Ace,
it's called Ballmaster ♪
And now that your journey
has come to an end ♪
Will you still call this boy
your best friend? ♪
♪♪
Really, Baby Ball?
Is it true?
Am I really a best friend?
To you?
Really? Best friend?
Hell no! Go screw yourself,
you stupid orphan bastard.
Gaz,
that win made me thirsty.
Last one to the bar
gets the tab!
♪♪
Chirp.
Rad.