Bang Baaja Baaraat (2015) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1 "Bunty and Babli.
" "They hustle then, they hustle now.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Making money all around.
" "Never do they settle down.
" Twisty, what's that step? - No.
Stop! What? It's not like this.
Forget the steps.
You need swag.
- Swag? Swag.
Show me.
Hold the girls and swag them.
Swag.
- Yeah, swag.
Oh, swag.
- Fine.
We'll take it from the top again.
- Yes.
5, 6, 7, 8play it again.
Swag.
Swag.
Do you know Wasim's nose was bleeding? If you two hadn't stopped me he would've bled out from his ass.
Why can't you control yourself? You're so violent.
I feel threatened.
That's the limit.
How's it about you? My best friend is He's trying to sway my sister and you're making it about something else.
You're such a hypocrite, Pawan.
What's your problem? Is it that he's your friendor that his name's Wasim? My problem isI am neither Bunty nor are you Babli so why are we dancing to this song? We'll be dancing to this number.
And I'll play Bachchan's role.
If the marriage's going to be Kanpur style then the musical night will Sainik farm style.
Twisty, I'll be right back.
Dude, stop fightingstart dancing.
Don't ruin tonight's show.
From the top.
5, 6, 7, 8.
"Man of character, with a lot of soul.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "They call him Bunty with a heart of Gold.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Like a beautiful angel coming out of the cold.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "There's just one Babli, and that's the show.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "They are coming to your town.
" "They hustle then, they hustle now.
" What the fuck are you doing here? I came to wish you.
Or should I saybless you.
Hi.
You are Boyfriend.
He's her boyfriend.
Oh, Ranjeet, grow up.
Doodle, how are you? How about a duet with aunty? Come on, let's go.
I'll see you later.
- I am joking.
Swag! Huh! My ex-boyfriend.
What? Your ex is your mother's What? Come, papa's family is here too.
Your mother's invited us to lunch.
What? Bang Baaja Baaraat Season 01 | Episode 03 Ori Pawanit's not nice to play with your phone while eating.
Look at him.
He's busyon the Ipad.
Son, what class are you in? Sonny.
Third.
Daniel, did you touch uncle and aunty's feet.
You called him Daniel? - Yes.
Not me, Shirley.
Shirley What's that? Daniel.
- He's mischievous.
Daniel! Catch him.
What can I do? Get under the table? Daniel darling.
Come out, sweety.
He's very mischievous, just like his father.
It's killer man.
Son hey, hat-guy.
Are you from his side or hers? So, he must be from her side.
Nephew? Nephew.
Aunty, how about some hakka noodles.
Son, what do you do? WellI am a photographer.
I see you do look like one.
You knowback in my younger days even I did a lot of photography.
I would pick-up my cameraand just leave.
Click pictures of anything I came across.
What's his name? I've taken Dalai Lama's picture.
When he was young.
And Dara Singh visited our city once.
I even took his picture.
You put that up on the fridge.
Why don't you pay us a visit some day, we'll show you.
Listen, how about we tell him for the photography.
Yes, of course.
Go ahead.
- Right.
Listen Since it's your sister's wedding you cannot sit idle.
There're lots of things to dorituals to perform.
You must lift the sister in your armsduring the garland exchange.
You can't just sit on your aunt's lap and gobble sweets.
I sayyou handle all the photography.
Roli, that's a nice idea.
- Isn't it? You aren't eating anything, Ranjeet.
Have some rice? What's a bhanja? And yes, keep the non-veg and veg plates separate.
Pawan.
- Thank you.
Listen to me.
- I don't want to.
Just listen.
You call once in six months.
Don't show up for years together.
How could I tell you? Your friend's sister - I love her, you fool.
I can even give my life for her, get it? I thought now that you're in the city you'll have an open view about things.
You'll help us, but You'll always stay the same, never change.
You know what, all the best for your wedding.
I'll leave.
Happy marriage, and happy married life.
Hellowhat happy married Have you gone mad? What's wrong with you? My parents are upset.
I am in a fix with this marriage.
My sister's angry.
And my in-laws are making a mess of things.
And now you Sarang, that photographer.
Who is he? Nephew.
He's no nephew, he's my mother-in-law's boyfriend.
He'salso Shahana's ex-boyfriend as well.
Don't go now.
Please, don't do this.
Littlelittle Face You're killing me, Sushi baby.
One sec.
Yeah Punnu.
- Yeah.
What are you doing here? SonI know your in-laws are Punjabi and modern.
- Yeah.
They kiss and hug as well.
But kissing on the lips? Nephews never kiss their aunt on the lips? Where? Mom, it must be a mistake.
- It wasn't a mistake, Punnu.
I saw it myself.
They aimed it deliberately on the lips - Mom, you're Sirplease come with me.
- What It's a chaos.
Please, sir - Okay, I am coming.
Please - Go on, I am coming.
Where? - There's been a problem out there.
Oh, God! What happened? 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' Uncle, get up.
"Poor old boy.
" "Still a bachelor.
" "Condition's really bad, oh my.
" "Now out of his fields, and dressed up-to-date.
" "Out to collect his degree.
" "You got robbed for no reason.
" "You got robbed for no reason.
" "You got robbed for no reason.
" "You're a sharp girl, like a sword.
" Here, here, here - Once more.
Swaying slowly to the beat, and looking cool.
Where are you headed looking like a cauli-flower.
Yo, this is Twisty.
Representing the Punjabi.
Yeah.
Yo Kanpur, greetings.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Twistyonce more.
- Sit the fuck down.
So now for the star performer of the evening.
The bride's father.
Mr.
RanjeetArora "Bunty and Babli.
" "They are coming to your town.
" "They hustle then, they hustle now.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Making money all around.
" "Never do they settle down.
" "Man of character, with a lot of soul.
" "They call him Bunty with a heart of Gold.
" "Like a beautiful angel coming out of the cold.
" "There's just one Babli, and that's the show.
" "And together they ride.
" "Together they cry.
" "And together they ride.
" "Together they cry.
" "Together they ply.
" "Together they die.
" "Together they rise above the whole world.
" "Together they smile.
" Browhy is he dancing like Ranjeet Khanna.
Brother, better rehearse your steps from the top.
Where is Shahana? I don't know.
She must be somewhere around.
I don't see her anywhere.
Amrit.
Amrit, Where's Shahana? Bro, don't fuck with my performance, okay.
You go look for Shahana.
Just look for her, don't fuck with my act.
I'll show you.
Start from here.
One, twothree Shake your shoulder, like this.
One, twothree Shahana.
Shahana.
I came because I missed you too.
What am I supposed to do now? Oh, shit Oh, sht You still love me.
Shahana! Look here.
This is Ranjeet Arora and his family-tree.
She is my mother.
I'll be your father.
You're my ex! She's my life, Shahana! I don't want to see that asshole at my wedding, that's it.
You still love him.
- What do you want me to do? Lie to you.
- Fuck man.
" "They hustle then, they hustle now.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Making money all around.
" "Never do they settle down.
" Twisty, what's that step? - No.
Stop! What? It's not like this.
Forget the steps.
You need swag.
- Swag? Swag.
Show me.
Hold the girls and swag them.
Swag.
- Yeah, swag.
Oh, swag.
- Fine.
We'll take it from the top again.
- Yes.
5, 6, 7, 8play it again.
Swag.
Swag.
Do you know Wasim's nose was bleeding? If you two hadn't stopped me he would've bled out from his ass.
Why can't you control yourself? You're so violent.
I feel threatened.
That's the limit.
How's it about you? My best friend is He's trying to sway my sister and you're making it about something else.
You're such a hypocrite, Pawan.
What's your problem? Is it that he's your friendor that his name's Wasim? My problem isI am neither Bunty nor are you Babli so why are we dancing to this song? We'll be dancing to this number.
And I'll play Bachchan's role.
If the marriage's going to be Kanpur style then the musical night will Sainik farm style.
Twisty, I'll be right back.
Dude, stop fightingstart dancing.
Don't ruin tonight's show.
From the top.
5, 6, 7, 8.
"Man of character, with a lot of soul.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "They call him Bunty with a heart of Gold.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Like a beautiful angel coming out of the cold.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "There's just one Babli, and that's the show.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "They are coming to your town.
" "They hustle then, they hustle now.
" What the fuck are you doing here? I came to wish you.
Or should I saybless you.
Hi.
You are Boyfriend.
He's her boyfriend.
Oh, Ranjeet, grow up.
Doodle, how are you? How about a duet with aunty? Come on, let's go.
I'll see you later.
- I am joking.
Swag! Huh! My ex-boyfriend.
What? Your ex is your mother's What? Come, papa's family is here too.
Your mother's invited us to lunch.
What? Bang Baaja Baaraat Season 01 | Episode 03 Ori Pawanit's not nice to play with your phone while eating.
Look at him.
He's busyon the Ipad.
Son, what class are you in? Sonny.
Third.
Daniel, did you touch uncle and aunty's feet.
You called him Daniel? - Yes.
Not me, Shirley.
Shirley What's that? Daniel.
- He's mischievous.
Daniel! Catch him.
What can I do? Get under the table? Daniel darling.
Come out, sweety.
He's very mischievous, just like his father.
It's killer man.
Son hey, hat-guy.
Are you from his side or hers? So, he must be from her side.
Nephew? Nephew.
Aunty, how about some hakka noodles.
Son, what do you do? WellI am a photographer.
I see you do look like one.
You knowback in my younger days even I did a lot of photography.
I would pick-up my cameraand just leave.
Click pictures of anything I came across.
What's his name? I've taken Dalai Lama's picture.
When he was young.
And Dara Singh visited our city once.
I even took his picture.
You put that up on the fridge.
Why don't you pay us a visit some day, we'll show you.
Listen, how about we tell him for the photography.
Yes, of course.
Go ahead.
- Right.
Listen Since it's your sister's wedding you cannot sit idle.
There're lots of things to dorituals to perform.
You must lift the sister in your armsduring the garland exchange.
You can't just sit on your aunt's lap and gobble sweets.
I sayyou handle all the photography.
Roli, that's a nice idea.
- Isn't it? You aren't eating anything, Ranjeet.
Have some rice? What's a bhanja? And yes, keep the non-veg and veg plates separate.
Pawan.
- Thank you.
Listen to me.
- I don't want to.
Just listen.
You call once in six months.
Don't show up for years together.
How could I tell you? Your friend's sister - I love her, you fool.
I can even give my life for her, get it? I thought now that you're in the city you'll have an open view about things.
You'll help us, but You'll always stay the same, never change.
You know what, all the best for your wedding.
I'll leave.
Happy marriage, and happy married life.
Hellowhat happy married Have you gone mad? What's wrong with you? My parents are upset.
I am in a fix with this marriage.
My sister's angry.
And my in-laws are making a mess of things.
And now you Sarang, that photographer.
Who is he? Nephew.
He's no nephew, he's my mother-in-law's boyfriend.
He'salso Shahana's ex-boyfriend as well.
Don't go now.
Please, don't do this.
Littlelittle Face You're killing me, Sushi baby.
One sec.
Yeah Punnu.
- Yeah.
What are you doing here? SonI know your in-laws are Punjabi and modern.
- Yeah.
They kiss and hug as well.
But kissing on the lips? Nephews never kiss their aunt on the lips? Where? Mom, it must be a mistake.
- It wasn't a mistake, Punnu.
I saw it myself.
They aimed it deliberately on the lips - Mom, you're Sirplease come with me.
- What It's a chaos.
Please, sir - Okay, I am coming.
Please - Go on, I am coming.
Where? - There's been a problem out there.
Oh, God! What happened? 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' 'Punjabi folk song' Uncle, get up.
"Poor old boy.
" "Still a bachelor.
" "Condition's really bad, oh my.
" "Now out of his fields, and dressed up-to-date.
" "Out to collect his degree.
" "You got robbed for no reason.
" "You got robbed for no reason.
" "You got robbed for no reason.
" "You're a sharp girl, like a sword.
" Here, here, here - Once more.
Swaying slowly to the beat, and looking cool.
Where are you headed looking like a cauli-flower.
Yo, this is Twisty.
Representing the Punjabi.
Yeah.
Yo Kanpur, greetings.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Twistyonce more.
- Sit the fuck down.
So now for the star performer of the evening.
The bride's father.
Mr.
RanjeetArora "Bunty and Babli.
" "They are coming to your town.
" "They hustle then, they hustle now.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Bunty and Babli.
" "Making money all around.
" "Never do they settle down.
" "Man of character, with a lot of soul.
" "They call him Bunty with a heart of Gold.
" "Like a beautiful angel coming out of the cold.
" "There's just one Babli, and that's the show.
" "And together they ride.
" "Together they cry.
" "And together they ride.
" "Together they cry.
" "Together they ply.
" "Together they die.
" "Together they rise above the whole world.
" "Together they smile.
" Browhy is he dancing like Ranjeet Khanna.
Brother, better rehearse your steps from the top.
Where is Shahana? I don't know.
She must be somewhere around.
I don't see her anywhere.
Amrit.
Amrit, Where's Shahana? Bro, don't fuck with my performance, okay.
You go look for Shahana.
Just look for her, don't fuck with my act.
I'll show you.
Start from here.
One, twothree Shake your shoulder, like this.
One, twothree Shahana.
Shahana.
I came because I missed you too.
What am I supposed to do now? Oh, shit Oh, sht You still love me.
Shahana! Look here.
This is Ranjeet Arora and his family-tree.
She is my mother.
I'll be your father.
You're my ex! She's my life, Shahana! I don't want to see that asshole at my wedding, that's it.
You still love him.
- What do you want me to do? Lie to you.
- Fuck man.