Barry (2018) s03e04 Episode Script

1 (INSECTS CHIRPING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) - (DOOR UNLOCKING) - PHIL (ON PHONE): Yeah.
As far as conferences go, it was boring.
Nothing to report.
- Oh, how was Kyle's game? - Oh, it was amazing.
Six-zero.
Kyle pitched seven innings.
Coach said it was the fastest he'd ever thrown.
PHIL: No way.
Are you kidding me? Ugh, I'm sorry I missed it.
Oh, hey, so I know you don't want to celebrate, but I made a reservation at Brio's at 7:00 tomorrow night.
- (LAUGHS) You did? - PHIL: I did.
That's awesome! PHIL: Anyway, I'm gonna stand by on the earlier flight.
Hopefully, I'll be home around lunch.
Oh, I hope so.
Okay, babe.
I'll see you when you get here.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Sleep tight.
(SILENCED GUNSHOT) (FOOTSTEPS) (CLATTERING) (FOOTSTEPS) - (CLICK) - (FAUCET RUNNING) (WASHING HANDS) (FAUCET SHUTS OFF) (UNSCREWING SILENCER) (KNOCKING ON DOOR) May I help you? Good morning, ma'am.
Uh, Kenneth Goulet.
Do you have a moment? All I'm saying is that sometimes the police fall short.
Now, justice That's still attainable.
- KYLE: Who is this? - Hi.
You must be Kyle.
- I'm, uh, Kenneth Goulet - Please leave.
Mm.
(GRABS CARD) Okay.
I understand you had a full-ride to play ball at Michigan.
You decided to stay home.
Why was that? Look, man, whatever it is you're selling, we don't want any.
I know who killed your dad.
♪ (INAUDIBLE) (SIGHS) (EXHALES) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) (HEAVY BREATHING) Dad? Wait, have you been up all night? I fucked up, son.
W-w-what is all this? - What hap What's going on here? - I pissed off the wrong guy.
Dad, you do that every day.
We gotta leave.
We're leaving Dodge.
Leave LA? I - No, I-I can't.
I can't leave LA.
- Okay.
You get ready.
I'm gonna pack the car.
I'm gonna get new suitcases, - you pack Gordon.
- Dad, I'm not leaving LA.
What the hell happened on "Laws of Humanity" yesterday? Tom, this is not a good time.
Just tell them I was doing what I thought was best - for my family.
- They loved you.
They want to bring you back.
The showrunner told me he had no idea you were that good.
He said you gave real pathos to that to that sad old man character.
And now, they're gonna extend the part, give you additional scenes.
(LAUGHS) On "Laws of" fucking "Humanity"! You know how big that show is? It's huge! Gets like-like a 1.
6 in the demo.
Tom, I'm leaving town.
What? Why? Because I pissed off a guy I shouldn't have.
Well, I must say, that's, uh, that's right on brand for you, Gene.
You know, I've been your agent for 30 years, and let me tell you something.
It has not been easy.
People have told me you're narcissistic, self-obsessed, petty, unhinged.
Their words, not mine.
Volatile, toxic, abusive, malignant.
A scrub, a dope, a dummy, a loser, a cocksucker, a dump truck, a stone-cold buster A bomb? Why can't I just shoot the guy? Well, we were going to have you shoot them, - but - Them? Wait, I thought it was just one guy, this Fernando.
It was.
You know, but then, Dom and DeLuise over here pointed out that if we only kill Fernando, then, like, a whole contingent of just weirdly stunning Bolivian soldiers would come in here and kill all of us.
So, it's been decided that you are going to blow them all up during their midday meeting, which is usually around 5 p.
m.
Now, Cristobal will be at Pilates at that time, so he won't be there.
- Right, so I'm bombing a house? - Oh, and how.
Peep this.
Give me your phone.
You need the Detonate app.
Oh, wait, shit.
I need your face.
- (APP DINGS) - Bingo.
Would you like to receive Detonate special promotional offers? Absolutely.
Can it access to your photos? Yes.
Location services? Always.
Can I share personal information with market research? Sure.
Why not? And you are set.
"BerkmanGoesBoom.
" Your password is "SuddenlySeymour1985," - but the S's are all dollar signs.
- Thanks.
So, where's this bomb? (BLINDS CLICKING) NOHO HANK: It's right over there.
(QUIET STREET NOISE) (BEEP) (CLICKING, WHIRRING) NOHO HANK: Pick it up! - (BEEP) - (CLICKING, WHIRRING CONTINUE) - (HIGH-PITCHED WHINE) - (SOFT BREATHING) (RECORDED VOICE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) (BEEP) (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) SALLY: I want my speech tonight not to be corny, you know? I want it to be honest and real, like the show.
- Right.
- (SIGHS) Not some superficial bullshit - about how it might be perceived.
- Right.
- Take this down.
- Yeah.
Um, "I didn't write, direct, produce, - and star in 'Joplin' for the glory.
" - Mm-hmm.
"I do this show for a little girl who came from Joplin, Missouri.
" Yeah, and maybe that little girl's name is Abigail, but everybody calls her Thweetie because her grandma had a lisp, and she'd say, like, "Thweetie! Time to milk the cows!" Yeah.
And, um, maybe Abigail lived on a farm, so she was really sheltered and she didn't see a television set until she was, like, 14 years old.
And every night, she would be like, "Mama, "promise me those little people aren't gonna come out of the television set " - Natalie! That little girl is me.
- Yeah, yeah.
You're Thweetie? (MUZAK PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) TOM: cracker-ass, fruity-booty, wack as hell, weak sauce, fuckhead, fuckface, fucknuts, shit nuts, shit fuck, fuck fuck Wait a minute, somebody called me a fuck fuck? Yeah.
Rob Reiner, 1994.
Was the "Ghosts of Mississippi" audition.
I specifically said I don't want feedback.
But listen, now, you have the opportunity to be known as Gene Cousineau, great actor.
I'm gonna send you my new address.
I'm probably gonna be under another name.
Go and-and pay for these, will you? Gene? TOM: Joe Mantegna.
Gene, it's, uh - it-it's Joe Mantegna.
- Shut the fuck up.
Joe, listen.
I've had a very stressful day, so if we don't make a scene here, - I would really appreciate it.
- Hey.
I'm the one violating my restraining order against you, hotshot.
The only reason I came over here was to say good job what you did for that vet.
What? - JOE MANTEGNA: The "Variety" piece.
- You were in "Variety"? "Gene Cousineau, Former Actor, Pays it Forward to America's Heroes.
" You didn't have this made at Knott's Berry Farm to fuck with me, did ya? I do a lot of work with the vets, too.
Here's my challenge coin.
"The casting director from 'Laws of Humanity' told 'Variety' "not many acting teachers have accomplished "the extraordinary feat "of saving a soldier's life - through acting.
" - What? "Barry Berkman was once a wooden soldier.
"Thanks to Gene Cousineau, - he's become a real boy.
" - What? Look, I'm having dinner with some friends.
You should join us.
This Friday, my house and we'll bury that hatchet.
Oh, and I'll be sure to tell my lawyer to remove that restraining order.
Semper fi, brother.
Joe Mantegna just invited you to his house, not to brawl with you, but to break bread.
I have to go.
You understand what this means? This is the industry-wide amnesia - we've been hoping for for so long! - Tom.
I have to go.
Why? Why is it you have to leave LA? If I tell you this, it could get you killed.
Not this bullshit again.
I've explained this to you.
It's racist.
Just because Tony Danza happens to be an Italian, doesn't mean - he's hooked up with the mob.
- This is way worse than Tony Danza.
My life is in danger.
The best thing for you is to stay the hell away from me.
(CART RATTLING) (RATTLING) I want to be a law-and-order guy as much as the next one.
I do.
But when something stinks, it stinks.
Am I wrong? It's always been very confusing.
The police said that Ryan was murdered by Chechen gangsters.
FUCHES: And did that make sense to you then? (LAUGHS) No.
My investigation says one of his classmates, Berkman.
Barry Berkman He pinned it on them.
Maybe he he was an associate at one point.
He betrayed them.
I don't know.
I do know he sullied your son's good name.
Your son wanted to be an actor, right? Well, this fella's in LA right now, working as an actor.
He took your son's life.
And now, he's living your son's dream.
That's his address.
That's where he lives.
(BOTH SIGH) (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) (WIND BLOWING) (RECORDED VOICE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) (SHUTS OFF ENGINE) SALLY (ON PHONE): I didn't write, direct, produce, and star in "Joplin" for the glory.
I do this show for a little girl who came from Joplin, Missouri.
Oh, who's the little girl? - SALLY: Me! Jesus, she's me.
- Go inside.
SALLY: What, so you'll just meet us there then? Yeah.
Well, we're about to roll, so I gotta - SALLY: Okay.
Well - BARRY: Well? SALLY: You'll make the screening, though, right? - BARRY: Yeah.
- SALLY: Okay.
Okay, love you, Boo Bear.
Wish me luck! (LAUGHS) - The limo's here! Where's Barry? - (SQUEALS) - Oh, his shoot's running late.
- Aw.
- How do I look? - Beautiful.
- I don't look stressed out? - No, no, no.
You look beautiful.
Can you even imagine back in Cousineau's class when we were doing mirror exercises that we would be getting in a limo on our way to your own show's premiere? - Oh, I'll see you there, okay? - What? - Thank you! - Mm-hm.
- (BOMB CLICKING, WHIRRING) - (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) - (RECORDING REPEATS) - (MUFFLED CHATTER) - (RECORDING REPEATS) - (MUFFLED LAUGHTER) (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) (RECORDING REPEATS) (BOMB BEEPING) (RECORDING REPEATS) (HIGH-PITCHED WHINE) (NEW RECORDED MESSAGE PLAYS) - What the ? - (NEW RECORDING REPEATS) (RAPID BEEPING) - (NEW RECORDING REPEATS) - (BOMB BEEPING, WHIRRING) (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) (SIGHS) (MUSIC SWELLS) (TAPPING) (CONTINUES TAPPING) BARRY: Shit.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) (DOOR HANDLE OPENS) (MUFFLED PRESS CHATTER) (ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING) (SHUTTERS SNAPPING) - (REPORTER CHATTER FADES IN) - Miss Reed! Miss Reed! Hi.
- Thank you.
- REPORTER 1: So, rumor has it you're not actually from Joplin.
- What, true? False? - No, I'm from Joplin! (LAUGHS) It says it on the poster! - Wow, we have IndieWire! - Okay, Sally, you look amazing! - Great.
Oh, thank you so much.
- How are you feeling tonight? Um, you know, they say not to eat before these things, and now I really wish I ate something 'cause I'm kind of hungry, but there'll be food later.
I feel good.
I feel excited.
REPORTER 2: You look good.
Who are you wearing? - Um, I think it's Oh, my God.
- Shoshanna! Who am I wearing? Oh, Shoshanna.
It's Shoshanna.
(MUFFLED CHATTER, CHEERING) You're so pretty.
REPORTER 3: You do not look old enough to have an abused daughter.
SALLY: Oh, thank you for saying that! REPORTER 4: What is your secret? Um, well, I wash my face, and I try to get 9 hours.
- (SHUTTERS SNAPPING) - (REPORTERS CHATTERING) ♪ Let's get you inside.
(EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING) FAY (ON PHONE): Hello.
This is Fay.
How can I help you today? Uh, yeah.
My app isn't, uh, syncing with the Bluetooth on the device I'm trying to detonate.
FAY: Sure.
Okay.
I can help you with that.
What's your username? BerkmanGoesBoom.
Capital B, capital G, capital B.
FAY: Okay, thank you.
Give me one second while I pull up your account.
Okay.
I found you.
First, let's make sure you have the latest version of Detonate installed on your phone.
I do.
FAY: Okay.
Is the Bluetooth on? - Yes.
- FAY: Huh.
Okay.
I'm going to put you on a quick hold.
- (SIGHS) - (EASY LISTENING MUSIC) FERNANDO: Hey, hey, hey.
There he is.
(LAUGHS) - How was Pilates? - Good.
Are we still leaving tomorrow? Well, there are some things that have come up that I need to discuss with you.
Okay.
I have to admit, I didn't come to LA only to run the Chechen operation.
I came because I had a feeling that you've been disloyal to my daughter.
(STAMMERS) Elena means the world to me.
FERNANDO: Uh-huh.
(FAINT CLICKING, WHIRRING) I had you followed to your little love nest.
What are you saying? I don't know what you're saying.
"It's done.
Glad you're out of there.
"Are your men suspicious? "No.
I actually think they are having fun.
"Need to see you.
"Meet at the place, one hour.
Make it two.
"The guys want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings and try all the sauces.
" - (MUSIC CONTINUES) - RECORDED VOICE: Ever wanted to kaboom? Join us in our Virtual Kaboom Room.
FAY: Hi.
Thanks for waiting.
I'm back.
I think I know what the problem is.
You always wanted to be head of the family one day.
Elena thought you had potential.
I wasn't so sure.
So, I gave you the easy work, like running LA, which is the same as running Disneyland.
And yet, you still fuck it up.
Why? Because you have no mental toughness.
So, let's do a test.
I'm gonna give you two choices.
We'll see how you do.
- FAY: Is your Wi-Fi on? - Is my Wi-Fi on Yes, it is.
FAY: Okay, try turning it off, see if that helps.
Turn the Wi-Fi off? One.
I kill you and make my daughter a widow.
Or two.
You take me to your lover, NoHo Hank, and you shoot him in the head.
Suegro you're going to have to kill me.
(LAUGHS) Well must be true love.
- (SPEAKING SPANISH) - (WHISTLES) Mátalo.
Hey! Turning Wi-Fi off (EXPLOSION, DEBRIS CLATTERING) (CAR ALARMS BLARING) FAY: All right.
Sounds like we were successful.
Is there anything else I can help you with today? BARRY: Shit (ENGINE RUMBLING) (BRAKES SQUEAL) (FLAMES CRACKLING) (DOGS BARKING, CAR ALARMS CONTINUE) (CRACKLING CONTINUES) Ah! Reviews are out! The en fuego's been lifted! The embargo's been lifted.
- Let me see that.
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Critics don't matter.
- Sally This is from the "New York Times.
" (GASPS) "A show by women about women for women.
"'Joplin' refreshingly avoids the pitfalls "of the female-driven dramedy "by delivering a warts-and-all depiction - of self-love.
" - Sally If critics could do what I do, they'd be doing it.
Okay, but Sally, your show has a 98 - on Rotten Tomatoes.
- (APPLAUSE) And "Pam!" only has 27! KATIE (ON MIC): I'm constantly in awe of her work ethic, her empathy, and her brutal honesty, especially with herself.
Um, I'm new to the business, but I feel incredibly lucky to have not only such a great part, but a really great mentor.
So, here she is, the creator and star of "Joplin," - Sally Reed.
- (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Thank you, Katie.
Working with you has truly been one of the most rewarding experiences of my career.
You make me want to be a better actor.
(SIGHS) Wow.
(INHALES, CLEARS THROAT) Okay.
Good evening.
(SIGHS) I-I didn't write, direct, produce, and star in "Joplin" for the glory.
I-I do this show for a little girl who came from Joplin um Missouri, and, um, ahem, she so badly needed to hear this story, to know that she wasn't alone.
Um, and, um uh, if-if if there is another little girl out there today who also needs to hear it, then I have done my job as a um uh uh I'm sorry.
Um Someone just told me that we got a 98 on Rotten Tomatoes, and it really only just hit me now.
(APPLAUSE, CHEERING) I, um, I You know, if you believe your best review, you've gotta believe your worst.
So after I got called "unforgivable" in the "Pasadena Star," I vowed never to read another review, but 98? (CHEERING) Wow! (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) Ninety-fucking-eight! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE DIE DOWN) (SOBS) (SOBS) (GASPS) (GASPS) (SNIFFLING) (GASPS) (GASPING) (SHUDDERING BREATHS) (GASPS) (GASPS) (GASPS) (GASPING LAUGHTER) (PANTING) (GASPING) Um, I just I just want to thank (SNIFFS) (BREATHLESSLY): all the incredible people in my life who got me here.
(SOBS) Um, my, my, my, my, um my teacher! Um, and mentor, um, Mr.
Gene M.
Cousineau, who, he taught me to be fearless, and, um, my incredible agent, um, Lindsay! Um, she-she has been just a true You've been a true fierce advocate of my work.
And, um, uh, to my-my boyfriend, Barry.
- Thank you for being an amazing boyfriend.
- (APPLAUSE) You support and sustain me, and I couldn't do this without you, and I love you so much.
I love you so much.
(SNIFFLES) Um, who else? God! Oh, my God, I almost forgot to thank God.
- Thank you so much.
- (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING) And, um Oh, my God, they're playing me off! I-I didn't think they did that at premieres! (INSECTS CHIRPING) (KNOCKING) He was in Fernando's house when the bomb went off.
- But he-he's all right.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! (GASPS) Oh, baby.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God Shh I got you.
Come on.
Come on.
♪ Barry, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Come here.
Come on.
I got you.
- I got you.
- (TENDER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ (MUFFLED APPLAUSE, CHEERING) (SALLY PANTING) (GASPS) (SOBS) (GASPS) (GASPING) - You killed that.
- You killed that.
We killed that! (LAUGHS) We killed it! (GASPS) Oh, my God, I need a drink.
Where is the bar in this place? Oh, that was amazing! Oh, my God! This woman was crying so hard, I couldn't believe it.
She had to take out a pack of tissues, - and her boyfriend - He's, um I mean, I didn't expect that! I knew people would like it, - but, I mean, come on - Sally, you're dating a violent guy.
- What? - Um I'm sorry.
Um (SIGHS) Um, B-Barry is a violent guy, and and the way he he spoke to you the other day was, like, awful.
It was really scary.
- He was in a mood.
- I just, um That was just really bad.
That was really bad.
And - (CROWD CHATTER) - I don't know.
I just (SIGHS) You're just a really amazing person, and I don't wanna see you get hurt, so Oh, my God, look, look.
Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you.
- You were wonderful.
- Hi Such good work.
Leo! I packed the car.
We gotta get going.
LEO: Yeah, Dad, just give us a second.
We got to get Gordon's shoes on.
Please don't hurt them.
I'm sorry I took you hostage.
And to make up for it I took a job.
That money's Leo's.
- Where did you get it? - Don't worry about it.
It's yours.
Take it.
And after today, you never have to see me again.
So my family is safe? - Thanks for everything, Mr.
Cousineau.
- LEO: Dad! Where'd you get that? ♪ Leo we're going to, uh stay right here in Los Angeles.
- It was kind of crazy.
- It was crazy.
I didn't know Okay.
Um, Barry is - Oh.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- I'll call you later.
I'll call you.
- You were great.
You were great.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Hey.
I missed it.
- Yeah, you did.
- Fuck.
I'm sorry.
- You look great.
- Thanks.
- How did it go? - Honestly It was the greatest night of my life.
- That's great.
- Mm.
BARRY: Hey, I'm sorry.
Barry, we're done.
What, because I missed the premiere? The way you yelled at me the other day at the office, I (SCOFFS) it sent me to a place I never want to go again.
This relationship isn't good for me.
Wait, are you serious? I had a bad day.
What, I can't have a bad day? SALLY: I'm gonna stay at Natalie's, - so I need you to go to the apartment - No.
No.
- and pack up your stuff and move out.
- No.
No, no, no.
No.
Hey.
S-Sally! Sally! ♪ I can't believe we're doing this.
KYLE: I know.
But, you know, it's like the guy said.
The cops aren't doing anything, Mom.
It's just I don't-I don't see any other way.
I just never thought I was this kind of person.
Th-this will bring us peace.
Do you promise? - I promise, Mom.
- (SIGHS) And-and I-I can do this alone, okay? (SIGHS) (SIGHS) It's gotta be both of us.
Yeah, I think we'll take the Glock.
Sweet.
("FOOT ON NECKS" BY SAULT PLAYING) ♪ You don't feel what we feel ♪ And it's evident that you shoot to kill ♪ 'Cause you know you'll get away with it ♪ Where's your soul, old man? ♪ How does your wife even sleep with this ♪ Burden on her mind? ♪ Knowing you will never make it to ♪ Heaven, perfect life ♪ You're the rules that's how it's always been ♪ Never black and white ♪ We have green money, money ♪ That's what you tell your kids ♪ Before you start another day of sin ♪ 'Cause you know you'll get away with it ♪ 'Cause you know you'll get away with it ♪ Karma's coming, to come for you ♪ It's only time before the burning starts ♪ Burning you, trigger man ♪ Ha ha ha, we don't care about ♪ What you think, bitch boy ♪ 'Cause it's the life your daddy gave to you ♪ Can't put down your big toys ♪ It's all respects, wanna be Action Man ♪ But you can't ♪