Batman s01e41 Episode Script
If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?
- Miss Welbeck.
- Yes, Mr.
Mockridge? Has Edward Nygma come in yet? I don't think so.
Good.
If you need me, I'll be down on the eighth floor.
What's going on here? Where's my office? My door was right here.
"Was" is right.
What's the meaning of this? What does it look like, Eddie? You're out of here.
You're history.
You're fired.
Comprende? Have you lost what passes for your mind? You can't afford to do without me, Mockridge.
I can if you're gonna sue me for royalties.
I created the "Riddle of the Minotaur" game.
This company is making millions from my genius.
Competitron Software's success didn't come from the product.
Competitron is a corporate attitude.
Its strength is in the deal, the contract specifically the work-for-hire contract you signed.
You're a fool, Mockridge, to think you can get away with this.
Your amoral greed is no match for an intellect like mine.
Oh, yeah? Then tell me something, Eddie.
If you're so smart, why aren't you rich? So I've made sure that Competitron owns all rights to "Riddle of the Minotaur.
" Considering all the licensing and merchandising Heck, we just built an amusement park outside the city.
If we'd had to pay royalties to the creator You can stop pitching.
I want this deal so I can move Competitron to Gotham.
This city desperately needs the jobs it'll create.
What's he trying to? What did you say? Mockridge, are you okay? Mockridge! We'll have to wrap this up later, guys.
Something's come up.
Excuse me.
Well, whatever that meant, it sure rattled his cage.
"Why do multi-million dollar deals break down in the wasteland?" It has to have a double meaning.
Master Dick, that must be quite a game, to be worth tying up a $50-million computer.
Not a game, Alfred, the game.
"Riddle of the Minotaur.
" It's cool, look.
Not only do you have to avoid all these traps you've gotta solve all these riddles.
"What is the shortest distance between a point in Nome, Alaska and a point in Miami, Florida?" A straight line.
What else? Begging your pardon, sir, but mightn't the answer on a globe be a curved line? Wasteland wasteland My word! Oh, that.
That's the Hand of Fate.
When you make a mistake, it picks you up and takes you to another part of the maze.
Doesn't Mockridge own a club downtown called The Wasteland? The Wasteland! Right.
The Wasteland.
I mean in the game.
It's a dead end, see? Come on.
Daniel Mockridge is walking into a trap.
Nygma? Nygma.
Decode that message all by yourself, Mockridge, or did you have help? You're trespassing, Nygma.
Get out.
You can't kill this deal.
I'm selling out to Wayne, and you can't stop me.
Of course I can't.
You don't understand.
I have a proposition for you.
You've come up with a new game? This? No, this puzzle is far more than any mere game.
Wouldn't you agree? Or do you need to try it yourself? Solve it.
Then we'll talk.
Oh, for crying out loud.
What is this, some kind of extortion scheme? You think I want money? Not anymore.
What I want now is you.
Empty.
Well, well.
"Bat" something-or-other, isn't it? Who invited you? You know what happens to gatecrashers? They have to match wits with The Riddler.
The Riddler? What is that, Nygma, some kind of joke on your name? My, my.
Can we actually have a brain beneath that pointy cowl of ours? So tell me, have you brawn to match? I love that trick, but I can never make it work.
Let's consider you handled for now, shall we? Coming through.
Well done, Batman.
But have you wits enough to save two people at the same time? It's my own variation on the Chinese finger puzzle.
Batman, you gotta help me.
I can pay you, Batman.
Anything you want.
Batman! Hey, it's getting hot in here.
Get me out of this thing! What did you mean, a joke on his name? You know who he is? I figured the creator of the Minotaur game was behind this when I saw that billboard.
I read about him in the company records.
His name's Nygma, Edward Nygma.
I get it.
"E.
Nygma," meaning a puzzle or riddle.
An enigma.
At least we know who we're looking for.
Hey, Bruce, look.
The lights.
Why are they all flashing? It's Morse code.
That should get their attention.
But why? You got the guy you wanted.
Batman knows who I am.
We have to put him and his snot-nosed cohort out of the way first.
Come on.
What did it say? "When is the minotaur's owner as high as an elephant's eye?" Well, Mockridge owns The Minotaur, but what's as high as an elephant's eye? Corn.
Corn? It's from an old song lyric, before your time.
So, what's he saying? "When Mockridge is corny"? "When Mockridge is in the corn"? What's another word meaning "corn"? Kernel? Cob? Maize.
"When Mockridge is in the maize.
" - The maze at the amusement park.
- Exactly.
Where's Mockridge? In the center of the maze, along with the minotaur robot.
I've programmed it to destroy him at exactly 4:30 a.
m.
Which gives you less than 10 minutes to run the maze and find him.
But first, throw down your utility belts.
It'll be more interesting that way, don't you think? Now you may enter.
Oh, and by the way, you'll have to answer the Riddle of the Minotaur too.
I can't wait.
How far did you say you got in the game? I'm not sure, maybe halfway.
Already I love this.
- Now where to? - I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
Could you do it more quickly? Oh, the griffin.
That just blocks off the way you came, that's all.
Except I've added an improvement of my own.
"Losers ahead"? Duck! "Loses a head.
" I don't know what's worse, the traps or the puns.
I guess this isn't a good time to tell you nobody's ever made it to the center of the maze.
I'll find Mockridge if I have to tear this place apart, Nygma.
I doubt it.
I made sure the perils are quite lethal.
You have eight minutes, gentlemen.
Then Mockridge becomes the only good corporate shark: A dead one.
Great.
You don't happen to know Arabic, do you? No, but I can translate it.
"Which way to the eating place? ' Oh, terrific.
Let's just pick one and move! We're going the wrong way, because here comes the Hand of Fate! Of course! We went to the left, but in the Arab world, you eat with your right hand.
- We've gotta use one of these keys.
- Yes, but which one? And why are they labeled A, C and D? Don't look at me.
Let's try D.
Look out! - Try another one.
- Okay.
A this time.
No, wait! Turn that key and there'll be three blades.
- But how do you? - It's the C key.
Trust me.
It's a musical puzzle.
They key of D has two sharps.
The key of A has three.
But the key of C has no sharps.
"The shortest distance between two points on a globe.
" That one I remember.
One minute, Batman.
Stay here.
- But that's the wrong door.
- I know.
- But the hand! - That's what I want.
Batman.
Batman, where are you? Forget it, kid.
I handed him his walking papers.
Get on.
Just one question: How? I linked it to my palmtop computer.
That is grand-scale cheating, Batman.
You can't tamper with the Hand of Fate.
I don't believe in fate.
You probably don't believe in minotaurs, either.
But you'll still have to answer the riddle.
I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness.
I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes.
I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres.
What am I? That's simple.
The human brain.
Billions of optic and auditory nerves four lobes and two hemispheres.
And it's the only thing Edward Nygma respects.
A lucky guess, that's all.
But it won't save you, Batman.
Destroy them! I solved your riddle, Nygma.
Now here's one for you.
How do you take out a minotaur with a single blow? Like this.
You're through, Nygma.
Sorry, boys, but you'll never find me.
I'm not even in the amusement park.
And by the time you get out of the maze I'll be out of the city.
I guess the mayor's happy about this.
Bringing in $5.
5 million a year in new jobs will do that.
But that creep Mockridge got to pocket a cool $ 10 mil from the buyout.
What a burn.
Maybe.
But we've been searching for The Riddler for months, and he's still out there.
Mockridge may have his money, but he won't be sleeping well.
How much is a good night's sleep worth? Now, there's a riddle for you.
- Yes, Mr.
Mockridge? Has Edward Nygma come in yet? I don't think so.
Good.
If you need me, I'll be down on the eighth floor.
What's going on here? Where's my office? My door was right here.
"Was" is right.
What's the meaning of this? What does it look like, Eddie? You're out of here.
You're history.
You're fired.
Comprende? Have you lost what passes for your mind? You can't afford to do without me, Mockridge.
I can if you're gonna sue me for royalties.
I created the "Riddle of the Minotaur" game.
This company is making millions from my genius.
Competitron Software's success didn't come from the product.
Competitron is a corporate attitude.
Its strength is in the deal, the contract specifically the work-for-hire contract you signed.
You're a fool, Mockridge, to think you can get away with this.
Your amoral greed is no match for an intellect like mine.
Oh, yeah? Then tell me something, Eddie.
If you're so smart, why aren't you rich? So I've made sure that Competitron owns all rights to "Riddle of the Minotaur.
" Considering all the licensing and merchandising Heck, we just built an amusement park outside the city.
If we'd had to pay royalties to the creator You can stop pitching.
I want this deal so I can move Competitron to Gotham.
This city desperately needs the jobs it'll create.
What's he trying to? What did you say? Mockridge, are you okay? Mockridge! We'll have to wrap this up later, guys.
Something's come up.
Excuse me.
Well, whatever that meant, it sure rattled his cage.
"Why do multi-million dollar deals break down in the wasteland?" It has to have a double meaning.
Master Dick, that must be quite a game, to be worth tying up a $50-million computer.
Not a game, Alfred, the game.
"Riddle of the Minotaur.
" It's cool, look.
Not only do you have to avoid all these traps you've gotta solve all these riddles.
"What is the shortest distance between a point in Nome, Alaska and a point in Miami, Florida?" A straight line.
What else? Begging your pardon, sir, but mightn't the answer on a globe be a curved line? Wasteland wasteland My word! Oh, that.
That's the Hand of Fate.
When you make a mistake, it picks you up and takes you to another part of the maze.
Doesn't Mockridge own a club downtown called The Wasteland? The Wasteland! Right.
The Wasteland.
I mean in the game.
It's a dead end, see? Come on.
Daniel Mockridge is walking into a trap.
Nygma? Nygma.
Decode that message all by yourself, Mockridge, or did you have help? You're trespassing, Nygma.
Get out.
You can't kill this deal.
I'm selling out to Wayne, and you can't stop me.
Of course I can't.
You don't understand.
I have a proposition for you.
You've come up with a new game? This? No, this puzzle is far more than any mere game.
Wouldn't you agree? Or do you need to try it yourself? Solve it.
Then we'll talk.
Oh, for crying out loud.
What is this, some kind of extortion scheme? You think I want money? Not anymore.
What I want now is you.
Empty.
Well, well.
"Bat" something-or-other, isn't it? Who invited you? You know what happens to gatecrashers? They have to match wits with The Riddler.
The Riddler? What is that, Nygma, some kind of joke on your name? My, my.
Can we actually have a brain beneath that pointy cowl of ours? So tell me, have you brawn to match? I love that trick, but I can never make it work.
Let's consider you handled for now, shall we? Coming through.
Well done, Batman.
But have you wits enough to save two people at the same time? It's my own variation on the Chinese finger puzzle.
Batman, you gotta help me.
I can pay you, Batman.
Anything you want.
Batman! Hey, it's getting hot in here.
Get me out of this thing! What did you mean, a joke on his name? You know who he is? I figured the creator of the Minotaur game was behind this when I saw that billboard.
I read about him in the company records.
His name's Nygma, Edward Nygma.
I get it.
"E.
Nygma," meaning a puzzle or riddle.
An enigma.
At least we know who we're looking for.
Hey, Bruce, look.
The lights.
Why are they all flashing? It's Morse code.
That should get their attention.
But why? You got the guy you wanted.
Batman knows who I am.
We have to put him and his snot-nosed cohort out of the way first.
Come on.
What did it say? "When is the minotaur's owner as high as an elephant's eye?" Well, Mockridge owns The Minotaur, but what's as high as an elephant's eye? Corn.
Corn? It's from an old song lyric, before your time.
So, what's he saying? "When Mockridge is corny"? "When Mockridge is in the corn"? What's another word meaning "corn"? Kernel? Cob? Maize.
"When Mockridge is in the maize.
" - The maze at the amusement park.
- Exactly.
Where's Mockridge? In the center of the maze, along with the minotaur robot.
I've programmed it to destroy him at exactly 4:30 a.
m.
Which gives you less than 10 minutes to run the maze and find him.
But first, throw down your utility belts.
It'll be more interesting that way, don't you think? Now you may enter.
Oh, and by the way, you'll have to answer the Riddle of the Minotaur too.
I can't wait.
How far did you say you got in the game? I'm not sure, maybe halfway.
Already I love this.
- Now where to? - I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
Could you do it more quickly? Oh, the griffin.
That just blocks off the way you came, that's all.
Except I've added an improvement of my own.
"Losers ahead"? Duck! "Loses a head.
" I don't know what's worse, the traps or the puns.
I guess this isn't a good time to tell you nobody's ever made it to the center of the maze.
I'll find Mockridge if I have to tear this place apart, Nygma.
I doubt it.
I made sure the perils are quite lethal.
You have eight minutes, gentlemen.
Then Mockridge becomes the only good corporate shark: A dead one.
Great.
You don't happen to know Arabic, do you? No, but I can translate it.
"Which way to the eating place? ' Oh, terrific.
Let's just pick one and move! We're going the wrong way, because here comes the Hand of Fate! Of course! We went to the left, but in the Arab world, you eat with your right hand.
- We've gotta use one of these keys.
- Yes, but which one? And why are they labeled A, C and D? Don't look at me.
Let's try D.
Look out! - Try another one.
- Okay.
A this time.
No, wait! Turn that key and there'll be three blades.
- But how do you? - It's the C key.
Trust me.
It's a musical puzzle.
They key of D has two sharps.
The key of A has three.
But the key of C has no sharps.
"The shortest distance between two points on a globe.
" That one I remember.
One minute, Batman.
Stay here.
- But that's the wrong door.
- I know.
- But the hand! - That's what I want.
Batman.
Batman, where are you? Forget it, kid.
I handed him his walking papers.
Get on.
Just one question: How? I linked it to my palmtop computer.
That is grand-scale cheating, Batman.
You can't tamper with the Hand of Fate.
I don't believe in fate.
You probably don't believe in minotaurs, either.
But you'll still have to answer the riddle.
I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness.
I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes.
I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres.
What am I? That's simple.
The human brain.
Billions of optic and auditory nerves four lobes and two hemispheres.
And it's the only thing Edward Nygma respects.
A lucky guess, that's all.
But it won't save you, Batman.
Destroy them! I solved your riddle, Nygma.
Now here's one for you.
How do you take out a minotaur with a single blow? Like this.
You're through, Nygma.
Sorry, boys, but you'll never find me.
I'm not even in the amusement park.
And by the time you get out of the maze I'll be out of the city.
I guess the mayor's happy about this.
Bringing in $5.
5 million a year in new jobs will do that.
But that creep Mockridge got to pocket a cool $ 10 mil from the buyout.
What a burn.
Maybe.
But we've been searching for The Riddler for months, and he's still out there.
Mockridge may have his money, but he won't be sleeping well.
How much is a good night's sleep worth? Now, there's a riddle for you.