Battleground (2012) s01e08 Episode Script

1
Tak! Tak.
So sorry I'm late.
- I thought you were dead.
- No.
No. No. I--
I had to go get cupcakes,
and they didn't have any red velvet left
so I had to go to another store.
- They had some, so
- You hosting a bridal shower later?
It's Lindsey's birthday.
Right, and you're in love with her.
I'm not in love with her.
I just want her to have a great birthday.
- So she'll fall in love with you.
- No.
She can if she wants.
[LAUGHING]
How was Chicago?
It was great. Oh, thank you very much.
- I didn't have to sleep in the playroom.
- Oh.
Oh, right.
Right.
Good.
TAK: Morning, guys.
BEN: Ladies.
- Good morning, KJ.
- Good morning.
- Soda. For breakfast.
- Shut up.
How's the speech for tonight going?
- Terrible. I am not a writer.
- You are today.
Cole was a great speech writer.
Me, not so much.
I had six hours to write a speech
for probably our biggest fundraising night
of the year.
- I know it's gonna be great.
- Nope.
- I have faith in you.
- You shouldn't.
We have numbers for Makers yet?
Yeah, I talked to the contact I have
at the Journal
and he's behind by 7,000 signatures.
Okay. Well, he can't get that in a day.
Signatures have to be in by 5.
He doesn't have
nearly enough manpower--
Creighton's volunteers are helping.
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
Smart. Makers on the ballot
hurts us more then it hurts Creighton.
I have a birthday delivery
for a Lindsey Cutter.
Ben, what did you do?
I got these are for you
and for everybody. Including you.
- Red velvet is my favorite.
- Really?
- I'll get plates.
- Okay, cool. Heh, heh.
- What?
- Nothing.
Ugh, cupcakes. Blech.
Give me an actual cake any day.
These up for grabs?
- They're for Lindsey's birthday.
- Super.
- Ali, I'm gonna need you later, by the way.
- EHarmony profile?
No, that didn't work out.
I'm filming a spot for the campaign.
Got some buddies helping me out,
- but I need a director.
- I'm so in.
Oh, red velvet. Double blech.
- Hey, happy birthday.
- Thanks, Jordan.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks, you want a cupcake?
No. You guys still have those
Makers shirts from the straw poll?
Oh, yeah.
Do me a favor. Grab some volunteers,
head down to Makers headquarters
- and help them get signatures.
- To get Makers on the ballot?
To make them think
they have enough signatures.
Then bring them to me
and I will read them by candlelight.
- Doesn't that seem a little--
- Wetlands?
Well, it's one thing to announce
that you're back in the race.
It's another to get enough signatures
to get on the ballot.
And they only had
till the end of the day to do it.
We're doing some covert shit? I'm in.
I thought we were shooting
your commercial today?
Right. Sorry, Taco, can't help ship.
Gonna be on set all day,
shooting my spot.
Can't tell you how much
I'm looking forward to seeing that.
Blech.
Bied, do the people wanna be
represented by someone
who will say or do anything
to get elected? I hope not.
MAN:
Tak, there's talk on the blogs
that your campaign paid off black leaders
in Milwaukee to suppress votes.
We would never do that.
Our candidate has been an advocate
for minority issues for the last 20 years.
Would the candidate and her husband
release their financials if asked?
We have nothing to hide.
TAK:
Register, contact, mobilize.
Let them fight over the undecideds.
What about the blue collars up north?
They're either already with us
or they never will be.
We need to focus on the students,
inner city,
social progressives. That's our meal.
- When do we start?
- Tonight.
KJ's writing up a speech
for the Majority Forward dinner.
From now on we're gonna keep on hitting
the same note: "Reshape Washington."
- Oh, now we're getting really specific?
- Easy.
You can get specific
once we get you elected.
- Sun Prairie Corn Festival?
- Right, yes. You guys should get going.
George, can you hang for a sec?
I have a funding question.
Sure. Yeah, I'll meet you in the car.
What's on your mind, Tak?
If we're gonna preach
"Reshape Washington,"
- we gotta start playing by the rules.
- We have.
We can't give money to churches
under the table. It looks bad.
We didn't.
The Journal is saying that we gave money
to North Milwaukee
in order to suppress the vote.
I spoke with Reverend Giles,
asked him to give us his support.
He said he'd try. End of conversation.
And you'd be fine handing over our
financials to the press if they asked for it?
Absolutely.
George, I don't know what happened,
and I definitely don't want the candidate
to know what happened.
All I need to know
is that it stops right now.
Nothing happened. Okay?
Okay. I'll call The Journal.
Great.
Ali told me that Lindsey
had an Amazon wish list.
So I would read it and find out
the kinds of things she was into.
You never told me you did that.
That's because it went terribly wrong.
Oh.
[SIGHS]
I thought I'd feel worse.
I love prisons.
Like, sometimes I'll sit and watch,
like, a ten-hour marathon of Lock Up.
I'm fascinated by the gang violence
and the code they live by.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, there's such honor
in prison gangs.
Blood in. Blood out.
- Oh.
- Yes.
- You guys here to help get us on the ballot?
- Yep.
Wait. Oh, I remember you guys.
From the straw poll.
- Um
- Uh
Glad you guys are back.
- Where's the youth pastor?
- Oh, he, uh, couldn't make it this time.
He's, um, praying.
That's super.
Okay. Here's your clipboards.
Just make sure to have them back
by 4 p.m. so we can turn them in.
Okay, 4 p.m. Got it. Awesome. Thanks.
- We're terrible human beings.
- We need more honor.
Hello. Jordan T. Mosley here
for State Senator Samuels
for the Senate of Wisconsin.
The great state of Wisconsin
needs someone
who will stand up to Washington insiders
and special interest groups.
Don't believe me?
Here's what some of the people
of Wisconsin have to say
about State Senator Samuels.
Perfect. I don't think you need
a second take.
I've dabbled in acting a little bit.
I played a Boy Scout in the Julia Roberts
romantic comedy, I Love Trouble.
I was the kid who was looking
at the camera.
I wish I had some marijuana.
I'm sorry?
I would like to smoke a joint
of marijuana.
I would bogart the whole thing.
- What?
- It's a lifestyle that I love.
There's music and festivals. Have you ever
been to a drum circle, Lindsey?
MAN: I have.
- No.
You guys from Chicago too?
You got a lot of signatures?
Not many. Like, 20 maybe.
- Or something.
- Yeah. I got like 30,
which is, like, 60 bucks.
Wait, you're getting 2 bucks
a signature?
Yeah.
You guys aren't doing this for free,
are you?
And they paid for my Burger King
on the way home to Chicago. Hello.
Well, I'm starting to feel less bad
about throwing away signatures.
- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah.
Just as long as we're done
by 4:20, right?
[INHALES]
Right.
Is that the speech
for the dinner tonight?
Yeah and no.
- Great, can I see it?
- It's not done.
And I am not Cole.
And the words don't flow like
Water, blood, oil?
- This is hard.
- You wanna take a break?
Yes.
Can you pull up the financials
from our last quarter, please?
You want some?
I think I'm actually gonna take this
away from you.
Okay.
[TYPING ON KEYBOARD]
Remember when George went golfing
with those bundlers and raised 20 grand?
Do we have a record of it
going into our account?
Doesn't look like it. We have
We have the 11 grand
from the flash drive
but no larger deposits
from that time. Why?
George is getting creative
with the money.
That's gonna hurt us.
I swear, this job would be
50 percent easier
if we didn't have to deal with spouses.
Or Jordan.
Well, every team needs a mascot.
Think of the breath as, like,
the life force.
That's like, you know-- That's where
your passion is coming from.
Breathier, breathier. Okay?
T-Buzz, when you're ready.
Viva Samuels. Viva Samuels.
Viva Samuels!
- So how's it going?
- Okay.
- We have about a hundred each so far.
- Oh, great.
Why don't you give those to me
and I'll give you some blank forms?
I think we'll just plan on
turning these in at 4.
Oh, yeah. I had some reports
that Samuels' campaign was taking down
names and then throwing them away.
Really? I can't believe they'd do that.
Oh, they support a godless lesbian,
what do you expect?
Oh, you know, she really has more--
You know what? I'll just take those
and you can turn the rest in later.
Okay.
Great.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks.
Well, what do we do now?
We could listen to the Jonas brothers.
Stop doing that.
Sources can say whatever. We know
the truth. We didn't suppress the vote.
Well, that's the kind of dirty politics
that I think voters are getting sick of
in Washington.
[LAUGHING]
All right, buddy. Okay.
You guys covering
the Majority Forward dinner tonight?
Really?
Uh Nope.
Yep. All right, I'll talk to you then.
What?
Majority Forward invited Makers
to also speak at the dinner tonight.
- We're the guest of honor.
- Not anymore.
- We have to pull out. The speech--
- We can't. We can't.
We need the voter rolls,
the ground support, the donor lists--
Why did they invite him?
To cover their ass just in case
he gets on the ballot.
Tak, I am having a hard time
with the speech.
The speech is gonna be great.
JORDAN:
It is finished.
- Prepare to get rocked.
KJ: Wow, that was quick.
Campaigns move fast, KJ.
An object in motion
tends to stay in motion.
I'm kind of an expert in iMovie so
JORDAN [ON COMPUTER]:
Wisconsin, meet your next senator,
State Senator Samuels.
No issue is unimportant.
Hello, Jordan T. Mosley here
for State Senator Deirdre Samuels.
The people of this great state
need someone
who will stand up
to Washington insiders.
Don't believe me?
Here's what people of this state
have to say about State Senator Samuels.
- I--
- Want--
Samuels.
JORDAN: Senator Makers wants to keep
taking money from Washington lobbyists.
So on November 2nd,
remember to vote for my stepmom.
State Senator Deirdre Samuels.
I approve this message?
Is that what this is?
Viva!
TAK:
KJ?
- Impressive.
- Thank you.
- Maybe--
- It needs some hip-hop?
- Yup.
- Yup. I'm on it.
He's a genius.
KJ, I can't move my eyes.
I know.
Hm.
I think KJ might've been into me.
I, uh--
- I don't think this is going to work.
- That's the point, Ben.
If we bug them when they drive in,
nobody's gonna sign anyone's petition.
Yeah, well, what if we get punched?
I'm mean, I would protect you.
We'll be fine. Just act crazy,
they won't mess with us.
- Okay. Here we go.
- Here's one.
Do you hate lesbians?
BEN:
Democracy!
- Get out and vote!
- We make it happen!
- Let's make it happen!
- Makers makes it happen!
You make it happen!
Hey, baby!
BEN: Hey, baby, baby, baby!
- Try and sign this form!
Why won't you sign?
Why won't you sign?
[LAUGHING]
We probably took 100 signatures away
from Makers.
And 30 customers from Brennan's.
We're sorry.
WOMAN: Hey, guys.
BEN: Hey.
You work for Samuels, don't you?
- No.
- Oh, no?
What's the name
of your field organizer?
[CHATTERING]
TAK:
Al Nelson and his wife, Beth.
Hi, Al, how are you? Good to see you.
Beth, nice to see you.
Thank you so much for coming.
Take care.
[WHISPERING]
Tak, this is crazy.
KJ will be here in a second.
She's just printing it out in the bus.
Okay. Tak, the speech is in five minutes,
and I haven't seen a word.
Sorry. I'm sorry. I had a problem.
But there it is.
Okay, I just need a moment.
I'm gonna go get my shoe
from the mud.
Did you forget to input the money
from the bundlers last month?
What?
The 20K from the bundlers when
you played golf. We need to input that
into the system
Yeah, they may have
redirected the funds,
to help in other ways.
George, if you continue
to keep secrets from us
then it's going to blow up in our face.
I've told you before,
I'll take care of the money.
- It will get out, George.
- We'll be fine, Tak. Okay?
Just enjoy the evening.
- And then we got separated.
- Did you try calling him?
- Look.
- Look.
Ben. Hey, what took you so long?
Got lost.
[LINDSEY & BEN CHUCKLE]
BEN: Yeah.
- Can I get you a soda?
- I would love that.
- Okay.
Thank you so much.
How'd it go?
- We slowed them down a little.
- With Lindsey?
Poorly.
She didn't wanna talk about
prison gangs,
she didn't want
to talk about marijuana
- What about ninjas?
- I didn't even get a chance to bring
How did you know that was on her list?
No, Ali. No, tell--
- Did you hack her account?
- I didn't hack anything, Ben.
It was on her computer.
I just played with it a little.
Just a joke. Heh, heh.
It's not very nice
to mess with people's accounts.
But it's-- This was funny.
I sort of liked that you had a dark side.
Ali got to see my dark side.
- Whoa. Where did Ben go?
- Running.
Because he's a dead man.
And I'm killing him.
Ben!
MAN: Now, I for one am tired
of a two-party system.
But it's the only fair way.
Now that we're on the ticket
Excuse me one second. Tic Tak.
Hey, do you think that Samuels
is more of a Krissy or a Janet?
- What?
- Three's Company, baby.
- We made it on the ballot.
- Yeah, quite an army you had out there.
- Did Chicago miss their homeless?
- Heh, heh.
We're just trying to help out
the community, Tak.
We're making the announcement
tomorrow, you guys should come by.
We were thinking the Wetlands.
[LAUGHS]
How you getting there? You and the other
third parties should chip in for gas.
We have plenty of money, Tak.
We just don't know how to spend it.
Do you know any black churches
in Milwaukee?
Looking to get married a third time?
That community is gonna be thrilled
to come out for you in the general.
- See you, buddy.
- Make sure that defibrillator's charged.
- Looking good, KJ.
- Go (bleep) yourself.
KJ, I don't know if anyone told you,
but this is a shoes-on event.
She start her speech yet?
George is introducing her now.
GEORGE:
--and the hygienist dropped her tool
when I said, "You can't handle the tooth."
[LAUGHING]
No, no, enough of this silliness.
Please, let me introduce my better half,
State Senator Deirdre Samuels.
[CROWD CLAPPING]
Thank you. Thank you, honey.
First off, please,
let me thank Jim and Dolores
for offering us
their lovely home this evening.
GEORGE:
Hear, hear. Thank you.
"John Adams wrote that the desires
of the majority of the people
are often for injustice and inhumanity
against the minority.
It's demonstrated by every page
of the history of the whole world."
- What?
- Gives the speech context.
It gives the speech boring.
SAMUELS:
"We were the minority.
Written out, inconsequential,
and irrevocably cast to the side.
- My goal is simple tonight--"
- For you all to go to sleep.
SAMUELS: "--to light the eternal flame
of every citizen"
- That was horrible.
- I'm sorry.
Oh, it's-- You're not a writer.
I mean, no, neither is Tak, neither am I.
We need Cole back.
- That's not gonna be easy.
- Give me your phone.
Cole, hey, it's Deirdre.
Yeah, I just wanna talk to you for a sec.
It needed more 18th-century quotes.
Shut up.
- Maybe if she had--
- Shut up.
Okay. He's gonna meet you
Monday morning for breakfast.
Wow, that's
"Great." I think the word
you're looking for is "great."
[ALI SCOFFS]