Battleground (2012) s01e12 Episode Script

1
Craig Loudan press conference
had become national news.
We started dropping in the polls.
It was
depressing.
Bam. Out walks this guy.
WOMAN: Was he cute?
MAN: I guess.
Older, but cute.
Samuels should just drop out.
TAK:
Hogwarts!
- Get in the car.
- Tak!
Thank you. Actually, I'm Merlin.
Just so you know, Hogwarts is a castle.
It's not a character.
- Stick coming with us?
- It's my wizard staff.
Happy Halloween, Ben.
Oh, Tak, thank you.
- I don't-- I don't really drink coffee.
- It's hot chocolate.
TAK: We're still in trouble.
BEN: Because she had an affair?
Ah, the voters will forgive that.
Some people think that she transferred
Claire so she could have the affair.
That's trouble.
Voters don't like scheming.
Especially when your slogan
is "Truth for a Change."
BEN:
So, what do we do?
TAK: We have a press conference,
she tells the whole truth,
and on election day,
we find out if the voters believed her.
I can't believe she lied.
Ben.
Even the good ones lie.
Doesn't make her a bad person.
It just makes her human.
Technically she didn't lie. So
It would have been nice
if she volunteered the information.
Maybe somebody cast a spell on her.
Is that gonna happen all day?
- Maybe.
- Maybe not.
Maybe not. Ha, ha, ha.
Watch out for the cat.
BEN:
Happy Halloween.
Thank God you're here.
- Dorothy. Where's the ruby slippers?
- Not in the book.
- Nerd.
- Where's your costume?
Oh, I forgot mine back in "I don't care."
Bah, humbug.
So the phones are going crazy. We've got
messages from Katie Couric's office,
Diane Sawyer, The Today Show,
Anderson Cooper.
They all want to do a sit-down
with Samuels.
Let's see
how the press conference goes.
Also Senator Tyler
from New York called.
- Oh, cool. He's up for re-election.
- Great. Anything else?
Yes, the rally. The White House
wants everybody in Badger Red.
And we're having problems
with signage.
The Capitol won't allow us
to put any banners up.
- Can't we just park the bus out front?
- It's two-hour parking. They'll tow us.
Not if there's people inside of it.
We can round up some interns
for tomorrow,
but do you two wanna babysit it
till then?
[IN SQUEAKY VOICE]
Us together? Yeah, sure. Whatever.
Are you sure?
Because your voice is doing that thing.
Yeah. No, yeah. It sounds good.
Sounds really good.
Creighton's got the police force
in his back pocket.
So they're gonna give you shit, I promise.
Don't back down. Ben? Right?
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Right, right. You shall not tow.
- All day.
LINDSEY: Tak, wait.
There's a Gretchen Cowler or Cowder
in your office.
She wants to talk. She's part of the
White House advanced team for the rally.
Great, another suit with an opinion.
This way. Your suit's in your office.
- KJ.
KJ: Yes, Tak.
- When are we leaving for the presser?
KJ: Ten minutes.
We should talk.
Carlton wants to make some changes.
Great. I love changes.
Hey, Gretchen, Tak Davis.
- Hi, Gretchen Cowler.
- Cowder?
- Cowler.
- Cowler. Got it.
Sorry.
How can I help you?
Ax thought you might be in the weeds
with the election,
so he sent me to help with your rally.
I think I had this exact same conversation
already with Carlton.
Carlton Haysworth is here?
I'm so sorry.
No, Carlton is messing
with your campaign.
I'm just messing with your rally.
I heard. Everyone in Badger Red.
What better color
for a Democratic rally?
All right, I know. Not my idea.
- Michelle looks good in red.
- What do you need?
I need personal stories from voters
who can stand on stage
with the president.
So we are looking for single moms,
unemployed workers, veterans.
Basically anything that we can work
into the speech.
We got boxes full of letters.
- You can go through those if you want.
- Perfect.
Great. What's up?
- You get the statement for the presser?
- I did. It's great.
- Here's a hard copy for Samuels.
- Great. Great.
Yes, I gotta go.
Cole, will you help Gretchen
find voter stories for the rally?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
CARLTON:
Okay, thank you very much.
Community Center said we can park
in back to avoid the cameras.
Hayley says it's packed.
All four stations, newspapers
and bloggers are there.
No bloggers.
No, I think we should.
They'll get the word out quicker
than anyone.
They're also the most unpredictable.
They could ask anything.
There won't be any questions.
We're just gonna read a statement.
What?
We're holding a press conference
with no questions?
They'll crucify us.
Looking back on it now,
Tak and I should have walked.
Should have walked.
We think it's the best way to handle this.
Who's we,
the DNC that's a thousand miles away?
GEORGE:
No.
We agree with him, Tak.
- It's too risky to take questions.
- It's too risky not to take questions.
Our slogan is "Truth for a Change,"
not "we have something to hide."
We're only trying to control the fire, Tak.
By throwing gasoline?
Great.
Comic-Con used to be
about the medium itself.
Now it's just all entertainment.
It just makes San Diego a tourist trap.
You should blog about it.
Already done so, my friend.
- From the White House, right?
- Yeah, I am.
I've been to the White House.
- Have you?
- Crossing-guard trip in the third grade.
[CHUCKLES]
- You met the president?
- I have. He's really nice.
Very cool.
How'd you get that job?
Mm. I was an intern
while I was at Harvard.
- Ah.
- Jordan, weren't you gonna go to Harvard?
[JORDAN CHUCKLES]
I wanted to play D-1 volleyball,
so I went to city college for a few years.
I was gonna transfer,
but, you know, politics.
Jordan, stop bothering her.
What a douche.
Right?
Douche bag.
Hey, we're just shooting the ship.
Pardon my French. Kiss.
Shouldn't you be folding lawn signs
or something?
I'm pretty sure Ben and Lindsey
have that covered.
No, they're babysitting the campaign bus
for the rally.
Alone.
I should make sure they have everything
they need, you know?
Dracu-later.
I'll see you guys.
[LAUGHING]
You just love him.
He's better than television.
[CHATTERING]
Good afternoon.
State Senator Deirdre Samuels
will be up here in a minute
to read a brief statement.
There will be no Q&A following.
Any questions can be directed
in writing to KJ Jameson.
And we're dead.
Why are we having
a press conference, then?
Thank you, Carlton.
Thank you, members of the press.
The last few days have been very trying
for me, for my family.
My husband and I
have a very strong relationship,
and respectfully ask that our private lives
be left off the record.
Respect goes both ways.
I'd like to take this opportunity
to remind you all
of the issues that are important
to Wisconsin.
- You're reminding us?
- We're going down, goose.
I got into politics
so that I could make a difference.
- Why did you get into husbands?
GEORGE: All right.
If you're not gonna be professional
about this, this press conference is over.
MAN 1: This isn't a press conference.
- Wow.
[CLAMORING]
GEORGE:
Make way. Make way.
MAN 2: Will you be sleeping
with any other husbands?
I don't think that went very well.
Maybe they're having a press conference
in a blackout.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[LAUGHING]
Let me-- Let me try one last thing.
Ignitius.
- Heh, heh, heh.
- Nope.
- I'm hungry. I'm gonna get a granola bar.
- Oh, actually,
I got us something for lunch.
- Really?
- I did. Yes, yes. Just one moment.
Whoa.
- Is there a Toto inside?
- Well, no.
No, but there's some crackers.
And some nice cheeses.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
I hope everyone's decent.
- What's up, ladies?
- Jordan, what are you doing here?
Ah. I brought a poster for the rally.
You brought one poster
for a rally of 30,000 people.
Mm. Size doesn't matter.
Okay, thanks, Jordan.
Ooh. Sandwiches. Scootch.
Cupcakes. Blech.
Ah. Sparkling cider, anyone?
[IN TRANSYLVANIAN ACCENT]
One wine glass. Ah, ah, ah.
Two wine glasses.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Eh. Guess we'll just have to swig.
[GRUNTS]
Heh. Just to fang it off.
"The park should be
for quiet enjoyment only.
Children should not be allowed
to ruin the aesthetic--"
Spelled A-S-S-thetic by the way.
"--with horseplay and nonsense.
Thank you for your consideration
of this matter."
Sincerely, Crazy Person.
She should meet the president.
She should be the president.
Oh, that's right, kids. Cole is back.
So you're from Chicago?
Yeah. Evanston. You?
Back of the Yards.
We used to get in fights
with kids from Evanston.
Yeah, well, they probably deserved it.
They did.
How did you get into this?
Well, I had to stop fighting.
- Why?
- There was no one left.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, no.
No, I started canvassing for Obama
when he was a state senator.
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
Would he remember you?
Uh, I don't know. Maybe.
I guess we'll find out.
Ultimately, it's your campaign.
CARLTON: David,
they couldn't be controlled. It was crazy.
Right. Right.
CARLTON:
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Okay. All right, thanks.
Ax thinks the best thing we can do is lay
low until the rally. Now, what we can do--
Actually, Carlton,
we're going in a different direction.
- I'm sorry?
- Tak is running my campaign.
We don't need your help anymore.
Thank you very much.
[CHUCKLES]
- Hilarious.
- Have a good trip back.
Okay, what do we do now?
TAK:
We do the biggest interview of your life.
- And you answer every question honestly.
SAMUELS: Yeah.
Honestly.
Yeah.
I just don't buy you as a fighter.
Yeah, it's just sort of how I grew up.
- Did you ever lose?
- Um
Uh, heh
I don't know.
I have some stories where I'm awesome.
Do you wanna hear one of those?
No.
Okay. All right.
Okay, I played basketball,
and we were playing Glenbrook,
so everybody's rich and white.
And my team carries our uniforms
in garbage bags.
I'm like the only white kid on the team.
And it's late. There's like two minutes left.
We're up by 20, so I get to play.
And my buddy Trent
is driving for a layup,
and this Hitler Youth just hammers him.
And as Trent's getting up, the kid says,
"Not in my house, Nig."
- Ooh. That's a no-no.
- I mean, it was chaos.
Like, fists flying, people jumping
out of the stands, chairs everywhere.
And I see Trent
getting choked by this dad.
So I start charging over there,
and I got my headband in my fist.
- Why?
- It makes the punch stronger.
I didn't know that.
- That's because you're from Evanston.
- Shut up.
So I charge over to him and, boom,
I take him out.
Wait, you just snuck in a story
about being awesome.
Nope. Turns out the dad worked
for the ATF.
So they got me
for assaulting a federal officer,
and I spent two months in Pontiac.
So trust me, I lost.
TAK:
Hey, guys.
- How goes the letter hunt?
- Better than the press conference.
So was Pearl Harbor.
[PHONE RINGS]
I gotta take this.
There is a producer from CNN waiting
for you in the conference room.
She's been there for like three hours.
Oh. Monica, she's a pit bull.
I'll go get Samuels.
Gretchen seems nice.
Don't.
Cool.
One reverse crescent kick later,
the match is over.
Class lets out.
My sabum-nim comes to me
and he tells me,
"I have nothing more to teach you.
You should turn pro if you want to."
But I don't know.
It's not about the money.
It's about the spiritual journey.
The way of the path, you know?
Mm-hm. Yeah, I know. I know.
Speaking of journeys,
don't they need you back
at the office, Jordan?
No. No, they'll be fine.
That place basically runs itself, right?
- No, but--
- Besides, this
[SIGHS]
is the battlefield.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
MAN:
Police. Open up.
Here we go. Okay.
Exit the vehicle.
Hi, officer.
You've been parked here
for more than two hours.
You need to exit the premises
or get towed.
But we've been feeding the meter
for the past six hours.
Doesn't matter, you're loitering.
Creighton's bus has been parked in front
of the Capitol for a month.
Doesn't matter. They have a permit.
Now move or get towed.
Okay, officer,
I know you're just doing your job,
- but it really doesn't seem fair that--
- Now. Move it now.
You're moving us
because we're with Samuels.
And if you wanna tow us, then fine.
Go ahead, do it.
But we are going to film it.
Oh, I love when Ben gets angry.
His brow gets all furrowed.
It's very sexy.
Oh, I'm so angry right now.
See?
You need to stop recording.
MAN: We have the right to film
if we're on public property.
Are you looking for a problem?
I'm not looking for a problem. We have
a right to film if we're on public property.
- Stop recording me.
- Okay.
Stop now. You need to stop--
- Step aside. Step aside.
- We are on public property.
- Touch me again, and you're going to jail.
- Sir.
- Just don't touch our camera.
- All right?
MAN: Do not touch our cam--
COP: Stop recording.
We just wanna give you a chance
to tell your side of the story.
That is it.
Tak, you're looking at me
like you don't even trust me.
Should I?
How do we know you won't screw us?
Because our relationship with
the candidate is very important to us.
- That is such a bullshit answer.
- Okay.
The only thing important to you
is that it's a politician in a sex scandal.
- Period.
- You're right.
You are right.
But if you guys wanna tell the truth,
if you wanna be honest,
Anderson is the guy to do this interview.
You wanna spin it,
you wanna avoid questions,
waste the public's time,
you should go someplace else.
[SAMUELS SIGHS]
You're right.
She is.
MAN: I thought he was gonna
take a swing at me.
LINDSEY: I thought so too.
- Yeah.
LINDSEY: Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm still a littleyou know.
- Yeah. Yeah. Me too.
MAN: It's okay.
- Heh, heh. Yeah.
MAN: So let's just have--
We'll have you just kind of explain
what happened,
and then we're just gonna wrap it up,
okay?
- Okay.
- Sounds good.
Um Well, we all got tickets for loitering.
Which are $45.
But we didn't have to move, so
- It's a win.
- Yeah.
JORDAN: Nice.
- Yup.
One of us hid in the camper.
Surveillance.
So that our location would stay secured.
It's like "Call of Duty."
The way to win is to hide.
So Buffy marathon?
Yeah. Yeah.
Jordan.
I would like to be alone with Lindsey.
Heh. Well, it's not just up to you.
I'd like that too.
Coolio.
No big, whatevs.
- Season six?
- No.
Got a Halloween bash to get to anyway.
[GRUNTS]
That means you too.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Game time.
Game time.
I heard you got offered that Tyler job
in New York.
I did.
Congrats.
I'm gonna turn him down.
I gotta work on some things at home.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna take up sailing.
Gretchen wants to talk to you
in your office.
- I'm doing this.
- She seemed upset.
[SIGHS]
Never ends.
KJ: Was it a sexual affair?
- KJ.
He's gonna ask you.
Well, what do I say to that?
Just be honest. We got nothing to lose.
Was it sexual?
Yes.
What is it with you people?
You come in, you treat us like
we're hill folk, you everything up,
and then you just fly back
to Mount Olympus.
I talked to my boss
and he said that we have no choice.
Well, then you go tell him.
Go. Go tell him.
I found the winner. I found it.
- "Dear Mrs. Samuels.
- Cole.
I would like my big sister kicked
out of the state forever."
- Cole.
- What's up?
I talked to my boss about you
and what we talked about.
And if you have a felony conviction,
then you can't be backstage
when the president visits.
I, uh
I didn't think I was telling my story
to someone from the White House.
- I know.
- I thought we were just talking.
- I know.
- So everything is on the record, huh?
I could lose my job
if I didn't say something.
Yeah.
Yeah. Here are the contacts that we liked
that you need for your job.
Cole, Tak just told me.
- It's not important. Listen--
- Yeah, it is important.
It's important. It's important to me.
Okay, you need
to call your boss right now.
Tell him he needs to fix this.
Either Cole goes to the rally or I don't.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
We started this together,
we're gonna finish together.
- Thank you.
- I'm sorry, Cole.
- It's just a rally.
- You know what I'm talking about.
Women.
All right, let's do this thing.
Wow. What a-- What a great lady.
She's moments away from doing
the biggest interview of her life,
and the whole world is waiting
to crucify her,
and she was sticking up for me.
You don't meet a lot of people like that.
BEN: The knight doffed his helmet
and saw before him
the most beautiful maiden
he had ever gazed upon in all his days.
He approached her, hesitantly at first.
- Ben?
- Yeah.
This is nice.
Yeah.
- Keep going.
- Heh, heh.
--hesitantly at first,
but then approached her
with more and more vigor
until he reached her, grabbed her,
embraced her, kissed her.
And he knew that he had met
the love of his life.