Baywatch (1989) s03e07 Episode Script

"Tonight on" Baywatch: "I just met" the most phenomenal woman.
I've never seen anyone handle a bike the way she did.
"You're not racing up" there, are you? Matt, that road's a death trap.
Matt, from what you tell me about this girl, an accident like that was bound to happen.
"Face it, Mitch," she's going to wipe you out.
I thought I had my personal best.
In your dreams, Buchannon.
You want to race, we'll race.
After I win your bike, I'm going to run you over with it.
Help me! Can I give you some help? What did you have in mind? Well, I "am" pretty good with bikes.
That's not an area I need help with.
You and Mitch have been training weeks for this race.
Now you're telling me you're not entering? I'm telling you, not Mitch, and I don't want you to tell him either.
Oh, I'm starting to like the sound of this.
Just tell him that you saw me do the beach run in 29 seconds, the swim in under five minutes, and with the paddle board, my total time was just under No.
Those are better than Mitch's personal best.
Oh, Stephanie.
You are too cruel.
Cruel? Garner.
I'm motivating him.
Torturing him is more like it.
Who are you guys talking about? Mitch? Yes.
Well, tell me.
Tell me.
What is that supposed to mean? Still 18 seconds off her time.
You're obviously reading that thing wrong.
Well, then, obviously, you stopped it too late.
Face it, Mitch, she's going to wipe you out.
Let's go again.
No way.
Give me a second; I need a break.
Stephanie did the run, swim, and paddle in under 15 minutes.
You don't have time to take a break.
Let's go.
Go! You know, my darling, a body such as yours is a temple to be worshipped.
Oh, this is not so much a pleasure for me as it is a religious experience.
Stretch my gastrocnemius, please.
Well, certainly and where is it? You're massaging it.
Oh, yes, of course.
And it's so tight and compact.
Hey! Get the hell away from her! Uh, Tina, darling, is that someone I should know about? That's just Mel; it's my boyfriend.
Boyfriend?! Uh, well, you two probably want to be alone.
I'll call you.
You can't hide from me, you geek.
I'll find out where you live and bust you in half.
No.
Mel Guido, I thought it was your day off.
It is, but I love it here so much.
Say, you know, C.
J.
, you didn't happen to see a very large gentleman with a haircut like a sliced avocado, you know, just sort of standing around, loitering around here somewhere, did you? Uh, no, but if I do, I'll tell him where you are.
Oh, no, no, no, no, that won't be necessary.
You see, I'm just curious.
It's like a survey kind of a thing.
Well, you knocked six seconds off your time.
Not bad.
But not good enough.
I'll get there.
What happened to you? I just met the most phenomenal woman.
" What is she, a mud wrestler? She's got to be a motocross racer, or something.
We were up on Point Dume Road.
No, you weren't.
That road's been closed because of accidents.
It was, but, lately, bikers have been using it to race on.
You're not racing up there, are you? Matt, that road's a death trap.
We weren't racing.
I just wanted to meet her.
I'm telling you, this girl was outrageous.
I've never seen anyone handle a bike the way she did.
I couldn't even keep up with her.
I hope "you're" not saying that come race day.
Shut up.
Shut up! Stephanie.
Hi.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah, sure.
Why are you training so hard if you're not entering any kind of competition? Oh, well, Mitch and I are working out tomorrow, and I got to convince him I'm for real.
What are you up to? Okay.
When I was a rookie, Mitch used to play practical jokes on all of us and yell, "Gotcha!" And then he'd go around boasting how none of us could ever get him.
Well, I've waited a long time for my "Gotcha.
" Which one of you is Hudson? Very cherry.
You must be the guy who names ice cream.
No, I'm the guy you're looking for.
Who are you? I'm the girl who's going to own your bike.
Clarify that.
I want to race you for pink slips.
Winner keeps the loser's bike.
Go home and play with your dolls.
I won this one from Frank Cates.
Cates beat you, I beat him.
I think we should go against each other, don't you? When and where? Tomorrow, 8:00 a.
m.
, Point Dume Road.
You'd better arrange for a ride home.
Hey, Rudy.
Check out my new ride.
Oh, yeah.
You mean, the, uh, bike? So you like guys chasing you, is that your deal? Do I know you? You gave me a mud bath this morning.
Oh, it's you.
Roadside assistance.
You weren't hurt, were you? No, but I will be if you don't say yes.
"Yes" can be a very dangerous word.
Yes, it can be.
But I'm a lifeguard; I'll protect you.
Sorry.
I'm leaving town tomorrow.
Then I guess that doesn't leave us too much time, does it? Much time for what? To go out, to have fun, to fall in love.
To have a tearful good-bye when we have to break up.
Why don't we just start with the going out part? I'm off duty in three hours.
I should be hot enough by then.
My name is Don't tell me.
I don't want to know.
Okay.
It's hypnotic.
It reminds me of my dad.
Seeing the headlight of his motorcycle on the wet pavement when he'd come home late at night.
Did he teach you how to ride? No.
He said the only place for a woman on a motorcycle is behind a man, with her arms around his waist.
After he walked out on us, the first thing I did was fix one his old bikes and learn to ride.
You know, you look more like a model than a biker.
It's an advantage.
My opponents underestimate me.
This is crazy.
I know more about you than I do most people, but I still don't know your name.
It's sexier that way, don't you think? Cool bike, though, I'll tell you.
Let's do it.
I'm not going to go full out today, but, uh, don't hold back because of me.
Okay.
I'm not going to go full out, either.
I mean, this isn't a race.
We're just working out together.
Right.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm just giving you a little head start.
You mean trying to psyche me out? Why would I do that? This is "not" a race.
Then it doesn't matter who wins, does it? Absolutely not.
Okay, then we'll start together.
Fine.
All right.
First rider around Crusty Rock and back here, wins both pinks.
Are you ready? Never been readier.
Enjoy your last ride.
I plan to.
Let's go! I got her.
Hey, you really must have smoked her, man.
She's nowhere to be seen.
Everybody, back to town, now! Hey, what about the pinks? This never happened.
I spotted you and called it in.
What happened? She drove her motorcycle off Point Dume Road.
John, call an ambulance! I got a pulse.
The doctor says she's in serious but stable condition.
That's good.
That's good news.
Her name is Jessie.
I didn't know her name until I saw it on her chart.
I feel so responsible, Mitch.
I mean, maybe if I was there, none of this would have happened.
Matt, from what you tell me about this girl Jessie, an accident like that was bound to happen.
She said she was racing this guy named Hudson when her rear tire locked.
She was beating him.
Mitch, she doesn't think this was an accident.
All right.
I'll tell you what, I'll talk to Garner.
We'll track down Hudson.
Maybe we'll get the real story.
"Maybe" isn't good enough.
Matt where you going, pal? To trade in my bike.
No, no.
When we first saw that motorcycle in the air, I was at least a length ahead of you.
Stephanie, I had to stop kicking, because I didn't want my feet to hit you in the face.
In your dreams, Buchannon.
Who got to the girl first? - I did.
- I was underwater grabbing her, while you were still searching for my air bubbles.
Well, it doesn't matter.
We'll find out who's faster when we race for real.
Just watch your face near my feet.
You're the guy Jessie was talking to yesterday.
Jessie? Don't know her.
I never said Jessie was a her.
Yeah, well, I'm psychic.
Let's see if "I'm" psychic, too.
Your name is Hudson, and, yesterday, you ran Jessie off Point Dume Road.
All right.
Let's say, for argument's sake, I was up there yesterday.
The only way I could run her off the road was if I was ahead of her.
That wouldn't make sense, to wreck the bike I was about to win, now, would it? How would you like your chance to win this one? Nice bike.
Yeah.
Looks brand-new.
Just traded my old bike for it.
It's not even registered yet.
You beat me, and it's yours.
Aw, come on, Hudson.
Let's go.
Or do you only like to race girls? Come on, Hudson.
Shut up.
You want to race? We'll race.
But after I win your bike, I'm going to run you over with it.
Point Dume, But I was only massaging her legs.
Guido C.
J.
, thank goodness it's you.
What are you doing here? Well, I can't go home, so here I am.
Why can't you go home? Your remember that big, muscle-bound, avocado-head guy I was telling you about? Well, he wants to take my face and like an ostrich, put it into the sand followed, very closely, by all the rest of my body.
Why? Because he's threatened by my prowess with women.
Then again, who isn't? Wait a minute.
Yes! You could help me escape him.
Guido Oh, please, please, please say you'll help me, please? Okay, okay, I'll help you; just get up.
Oh, thank you very much.
You're too kind.
Thank you so much.
Whoops, I'm sorry.
Oh, thank you very much! You're too kind! Thank you so much! Thanks, guys.
No problem, man.
Well, look at this.
Didn't Matt tell you her rear tire locked up? Yeah.
That sure as hell could do the trick, couldn't it? Question is was it "her" chain that slipped off? Or does this Hudson guy really hate to lose? We better go find some answers.
Mitch, I'll tell you what.
Why don't I drive, and you run behind the truck? Garner, I'll tell "you" what.
Why don't you go have a doughnut? She's fast, Mitch.
- Get in the car.
- 15 minutes! - Get in the car! - The woman did 15 minutes.
Fifteen.
When I drop the flag, you'll race to Crusty Rock and back here.
Winner gets both bikes.
If both bikes make it back.
You want to run me off the road, is that it? It wouldn't make sense to wreck the bike I was about to win, now would it? All right, everybody stay exactly where you are.
It's a setup! I'll catch you later, man.
Down here! Down here! Help me! All right, come on, we'll rappel down and get him.
There's no way I'm helping him he tried to kill Jessie! Do you see that sign? Now, either you are one or you're not.
You decide.
Help! Oh! He's slipping.
Get on the radio, and tell them I need backup here fast.
This fast enough.
I can't hold on! Help me! Hey! Help! Hurry! I'm slipping! I can't hold on! Come on, help me! Hey! Come on, hurry, man! Oh! Help me! Help! Help! Okay, man, we're here.
- Help! - Take it easy.
Okay.
Grab his hand, grab him right there.
All right, on three.
One, two, three.
Okay.
Okay, Garner, pull us up.
Take it easy.
Okay, here we go, all right.
Careful.
Hang on.
Hang on.
All right.
What in the hell are you doing, man? If one of your keys fits this lock, I'm going to arrest you for attempted murder.
I swear, I'm not the guy you're looking for.
You have the right to remain silent.
If you choose to give up that right, anything you say can will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney and to have that attorney present during questioning.
You got a lot of nerve showing your face here! Yeah, well, my friend, uh, I want to clear up this misunderstanding.
You see, I have no interest in your lady friend, because, as you can see, I'm happily involved with my fiancée.
That's right, teddy bear.
And she can vouch for my whereabouts every night for the last six months, isn't that right, pumpkin? Whoa.
Yeah, well, you just stay away from Tina from now on.
Sure, you bet.
Okay, you got it.
Absolutely.
No problem.
Certainly.
Okay.
Absolutely.
You got it, okay.
See, it worked.
I am now safe.
Say, could you do that to this ear? Engaged?! Engaged?! You lied to me! You two-timing, good-for-nothing.
If I get you, I'm going to kill you! Keep your eyes closed.
Not yet.
You promised you would not look.
All right, we're getting there.
Open your eyes.
Oh This isn't what I expected when you said we'd have breakfast someplace fancy.
Well, you tell me a restaurant with a better view.
We even got seated right away.
Well, they know me around here.
So So? It's going to take a while for them to fix your bike.
I guess, you won't be leaving town right away.
I don't think I'll be riding it for a while.
Besides, I want to go home.
Back to Seattle.
Don't leave.
I have to.
I have to fix some damage back home.
But that doesn't mean I won't be back to get my bike.
Just to get your bike? No.
Oh! All right.
Stephanie Holden, beach run: Swim: Four minutes 49.
5.
Paddleboard: Nine minutes, 23.
2 seconds.
Total time: I don't believe those times.
Ah, don't worry.
Will you stop saying that! Mitch, you're up.
Mitch, all the men here are counting on you.
Don't let us down.
Are you sure about those times? Would you like to take a look? Do you want to concede and save yourself the embarrassment? Not on your life.
The race isn't over till the bald lifeguard sings.
Okay, Mitch Buchannon.
Beach run: 31.
6 seconds.
What? Swim: 5.
03.
2.
Paddleboard Paddleboard.
10.
05.
9 Total time: 15.
40.
7 Oh, my God! Don't lay there looking so exhausted.
She beat you by over a minute.
I'm sorry, Garner.
I I thought I had my personal best.
I mean, I worked so hard.
Well, well, well, well.
Time to face reality, Buchannon.
You're over the hill.
I'm over the hill.
And I have just one more thing to say, as does everyone here: Gotcha!