Baywatch (1989) s03e13 Episode Script

"Tonight on" Baywatch "I just want a weekend" of scuba diving and fun.
No men allowed.
Oh, my God.
Some way to meet, huh? He stole the safe and headed for Mexico.
Clay is one of the thieves.
I'm telling you, getting a housekeeper is going to be a nightmare.
- Hello.
- She's great, isn't she? I'm here to take care of all of Mitch's needs.
Oh, my God, we're trapped.
Come on, C.
J.
Breathe, come on.
Hey, I'll race you to the pier and back.
- Come on.
- No, thanks.
- Aw.
- I just had a long swim.
Besides, I got to get home.
It's Hobie's big night to start dinner.
You and C.
J.
Still having that women-only weekend in Catalina? Oh, God.
After that blind date that C.
J.
Arranged for me last night, you'd better believe it.
I just want a weekend of scuba diving and fun.
- Yeah.
- No men allowed.
Well, I wouldn't count on it.
Wherever C.
J.
Is, men are not far behind.
Hobie.
Hobie! Hey, Dad, didn't hear you come in.
No kidding.
Did you start dinner? I'm starved.
Yeah.
It's, uh, it's in the kitchen.
This is your idea of starting dinner? Yeah, I thawed some dogs.
They'll thaw out real quick in the microwave.
What about the laundry? Did you start the laundry? Yeah.
It's just, you know, not done yet.
But, Dad, you really don't have to go in there! Dad! Come on, Dad, please.
Wait.
Wait.
Ugh.
Told you not to open it.
All right, look, we each have responsibilities, and since it's just you and me it's not my fault.
I'm your son, not your wife.
I come home after a hard day at school, and I should be able to do kid stuff, not laundry and cooking.
You know what? You're right.
I am? Yes, you are.
What are you looking for? Housekeepers.
Housekeepers? Live-in housekeepers.
I don't want some stranger living here.
We won't have any privacy.
No, but you'll have home-cooked meals, clean laundry, and you won't have to do anything but kid stuff like homework.
Get upstairs and get busy.
Aw, man.
Hello? Yes, I'm inquiring about setting up some appointments for a live-in housekeeper.
You just wait.
I'm telling you.
Getting a housekeeper's going to be a nightmare.
Oh, could you get me another Tums, please? Yeah.
How many more interviews do we have to give? Well, there's one left, but she's 20 minutes late.
Looks like it could be a no-show.
Looks like the no-show just showed.
Would you get the door, please? Yeah, yeah.
Hello.
Hi.
Are you here for the housekeeper position? Yes, I'm Elke.
Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Hobie Buchannon.
Nice to meet you, too.
Uh, Dad, this is Elke.
Hello.
I hope I'm not too late to interview for the housekeeper position.
No.
No.
No.
Um, come in.
I'm Mitch.
Hello.
You have a lovely home.
Thank you.
I'd like some more, too, please.
You know, this was my favorite dish as a child.
My mother taught me how to make it when I was just about your age, Hobie.
She's great, isn't she? Too great.
Look at her clean the kitchen.
She's awesome.
We got to hire her.
I don't know I think we'd be better off if we hired that lady, uh, Mrs.
Jasper.
Dad, get real; Mrs.
Jasper cooks like Freddy Krueger's mother.
How is everything? Do you like it? Yeah, it's, uh, it's great.
We love it.
Right, Dad? Yeah, it's great.
You're a great cook.
Thank you.
Oh, and here are Hobie's homework problems you wanted to test me on.
Oh, okay.
Oh, my God.
She got them all right, Dad.
She did? She's the best one.
We got to hire her.
What's with the big campaign, anyway? You're the one who didn't even want a housekeeper.
You're the one that did want a housekeeper, and she's the best, so what's the problem? Excuse us.
I got to talk to Hobie.
My problem is my problem is, she's just too distracting.
- You mean pretty.
- Pretty? She's drop-dead gorgeous.
She moves in here, I'll probably be dead in a week.
Dad, all my life, you've taught me not to judge people by their looks.
That's exactly what you're doing.
No, I'm not.
You're right, I am, and I shouldn't.
And she is different.
Dad, would you have hired Elke if she looked like Mrs.
Jasper? Maybe.
You would.
Elke's smart.
She's nice.
She's efficient.
You can't base employment practices on looks.
That's job discrimination.
Okay, I'll hire her.
All right.
On a trial basis.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Elke! Welcome to the Buchannon household.
I'm hired? My dad said yes.
On a trial basis.
Thank you! C.
J.
, radio that coast guard cutter.
There's a boat on fire.
KMF 295 from C.
J.
Parker requesting immediate backup.
Roger, KMF 295.
- Mommy! - Hold your head up, baby.
Mommy! Save me! Somebody help me! Help! Somebody help me! My baby! Help me! Help! I can't find her! Somebody help me! My baby! My baby! Go get them.
I'll go after the girl! My baby, she went down! She went down! Just find her! Help! Get her, please! I got it, Chief.
Just relax.
I've got you.
No, not me! I'm a lifeguard! The victim's down here.
Come on! Go down again! Please! Oh, my little girl! Okay, you ready? Yeah.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
Okay, sweetheart, you're going to be fine, and your parents are fine, too.
Way to go! Go, Roger, go! My name's Roger Lawrence.
Stephanie Holden.
Some way to meet, huh? We'll stow that up later.
Oh, my baby! Come alongside.
God! Hold on now.
Switch to TAC channel three.
We got them on the radio now.
Come on, we'll give you a lift back to your boat.
Okay.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you.
You two headed for Catalina? Crystal Cove we're going to do some diving.
It's a great spot.
The water's warm and clear.
It's really great.
And we're taking our mid-patrol break in Catalina, so maybe we can dive together.
Uh no "uh " but not this weekend.
Well, maybe some other time? Yeah.
We work at Baywatch.
We know it.
See you later.
Great time for a "women only" weekend.
I know, I know.
Well, thank you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Sorry if I startled you.
That's okay.
I was just so caught up in the beauty down there, I didn't see you coming.
Well, the beauty up here is pretty eye-catching, too.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, your shirt.
Let me clean it for you.
Oh, no, no, really, it's okay.
I'll just go put another one on.
No problem.
Dad, are you going to be late for your date? Well, I'm sure whoever your dad is going out with won't mind if he's a little late.
He's worth waiting for.
Why don't I just stay? I mean, you know, I could help you clean and show you some things around the house.
And I mean, it is your first weekend, and No, no, that's okay.
Go out, have a good time.
She's waiting for you.
Yeah, yeah, I have to be able to prove that you can trust me to take care of Hobie.
That's right, she does.
We'll be fine.
He's a cute, little kid, isn't he? You know, it was one of those fated meetings.
There we were, both underwater, and something just clicked.
It was so romantic.
C.
J.
, this is so typical.
What's that supposed to mean? Oh, I mean, a handsome man comes into your field of vision and then everything else disappears.
Clay isn't only handsome.
He's a marine biologist.
Oh, and I suppose he mistook you for a mermaid, huh? No, no.
A naiad.
Clay! Hi.
Hey, how you doing? Uh, what exactly is a naiad? Water nymph from Greek mythology.
Hey, listen, sorry about the intrusion.
C.
J.
Told me about your "women only" weekend.
I was hoping she'd make an exception and have dinner with me tonight.
Uh, I'm sorry, but the water nymph is out of circulation this weekend.
I'm sorry, I didn't introduce you.
This is my mother, Stephanie.
Hi.
Hi, Mom.
I promise I won't keep your daughter out too late.
Look, uh, we decided I'm sorry, it's really not going to work out this weekend.
Ah.
Who's that? It's Roger.
You know, the coast guard diver? You.
I was hoping that when they locked you up, they threw away the key.
You must be mistaking me for somebody else.
Uh-uh.
Clay Burgess.
So what are you here for? To get what you left behind? Look, whatever man-thing is going on between you two has nothing to do with us, so would you please take it somewhere else? Hey, pal.
I was set up, and I'm not going to let you feds do it to me again.
So get out of my face.
C.
J.
, listen, I'm sorry this didn't work out.
Whatever this guy tells you, don't listen to him.
It's a damn lie.
What was that all about? Five years ago, there was a jewelry show robbery.
Jewelers from all over the world.
It was very well-planned, and very clever, only things went wrong, and a guard was killed.
They stole the safe with all the jewelry still in it and headed for Mexico by boat.
What, you're saying Clay is one of the thieves? He was "the" thief, only we could never prove it.
We worked with the FBI on the case, but by the time we boarded his boat, he'd dumped the safe overboard.
It was never recovered.
So how did he end up in jail? He had enough outstanding warrants to put him away for a couple of years on lesser charges.
You know, when I was diving with him today, he had a metal detector.
Just a couple miles off Crystal Cove.
I'd better get back to the ship and brief the skipper.
I know the brass and the FBI are going to want know what's going on down here.
So what do you think it is? You think it's just that dangerous men excite me? I mean, like, is it like I sense it, and it excites me? Or are they like little magnets, pulling me to them? Well, C.
J.
, I think it's time to demagnetize yourself.
I've tried, but you have to follow your heart.
You know, in a way, I envy you.
You what? Yeah, I envy your ability just to follow your instincts, regardless of what logic dictates.
You go for it, hurt be damned.
Well, the hurt still hurts.
I'm too trusting.
Yeah, well, I'm not trusting enough.
For once I just wish that I'd be able to fall in love without analyzing the relationship.
Well, for once, I wish I could just fall in love without finding some thief and murderer to go out with.
You know, it figures.
I mean, here we are on a "women only" weekend, and guess what? All we're talking about is men.
Really.
The first time I saw you, I felt, maybe this guy's different.
He's genuine.
Maybe I can trust him.
And now? And now I'll have to show you.
Who is she? Oh, uh, that's Elke, my housekeeper.
Mitch, I'm sorry; I was trying not to disturb you.
Just pretend I'm not here.
Oh, oh, okay.
Your housekeeper? Really, that's my housekeeper.
Yeah, right.
Melinda, I know how this must look, but really no, wait, wait, wait.
She really is my housekeeper.
Yes, I am.
See? She is.
I'm here to take care of all of Mitch's needs.
Oh Yeah, honey, I'll just bet you do.
Melinda Mitch, I feel terrible about this.
Maybe if I go talk to her No, no, it's okay.
Believe me, it it won't help.
Well, then at least let me clean up the living room for you.
Okay.
Something is wrong, isn't it? No, nothing's wrong.
It's just that I mean, it's it's really hard for me to look at you as a housekeeper, when you're just you're so beautiful.
Well, then I'm not alone.
It's hard for me to think of you as my employer.
My stomach is always full of butterflies.
Really? Dad! She's supposed to work for us, not be your second date of the night.
Hobie I'm sorry; I'm sure he got the wrong idea you know, the music, the fireplace I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
I shouldn't have done this.
I will go and talk with No, no, that's okay.
We'll talk to him tomorrow.
I think it's a good idea we just get a good night's sleep.
Okay? Oh, my God.
This is beautiful.
My God, Stephanie, isn't this fantastic? Oh, wow.
It's great.
Our tanks are low.
We should probably surface.
I love it down here.
It's so peaceful.
Yeah, it's like you're part of eternity, isn't it? Come on, let's go.
Okay, just one picture of the two of us.
All right.
- Smile! - Smile! Oh, my God, what's happening? I don't know.
Maybe it's an earthquake.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, my God, we're trapped.
Okay, we just got to keep calm and conserve our air.
Our tanks are almost out of air! How long is this air pocket going to last? Well, if the airway feeding this pocket isn't blocked, we'll be okay.
What if it is? We'll go down one at a time and try and find another exit.
I'll go first.
Be careful.
There's no other way out.
Look, the airway must be blocked.
I pushed my weight belt out.
Maybe someone will see it.
My tanks are out of air, so I dropped them.
I'm starting to feel faint.
We'll release the air from my tank.
That's all you have? Maybe this is the time you should teach me to meditate, so I can learn to slow my breathing.
Why bother? We're going to be out of air soon.
You really weren't that bad a roommate.
I'm sorry if I made it difficult for you.
According to their dive log, they've been underwater for 45 minutes.
They're bound to be running out of air.
All right, we'll call Lieutenant Sweet at the group.
We'll have divers in the Navy E.
O.
D.
Team down here immediately.
Sir, that will take at least a half an hour.
Look, I know it's against regs, but Lawrence and I have our own personal dive gear on board.
All right.
Let's go.
Come on, C.
J.
, don't quit on me.
Come on.
What's that? What? I heard something.
I'm going to swim to the entrance.
Don't leave me.
I heard a sound.
You're not going to have enough air to get back.
Yes, I will.
Okay.
I'll be back.
I promise, C.
J.
Yeah, yeah, standing by.
- Coming at you.
- Easy, easy.
Float's up.
Come on, C.
J! Come on, C.
J! Breathe, come on! Listen to me! Breathe! Oh, oh, thank God! Just relax.
You're going to be all right now.
I don't know how to thank you.
Look! Hey, where'd you get that sea slug? He was on the run.
Had a bag of explosives.
Left it on the bottom for the E.
O.
D.
Team.
Want a ride back to the ship? Not on the same boat with him.
- We're okay.
- All right, see you on board.
So, anybody want to go dive for buried treasure? I thought you found the buried treasure.
He means the stolen safe with the jewels.
- Oh, "that" treasure.
- Yeah.
So do we get to keep what we find? Well, I'm afraid the FBI might object.
Well, then we'll settle for the treasure hunters instead.
My dad's working at that tower, right there.
I'll wait for you here.
Wish me good luck.
Here, wait.
I, uh, I have something for you.
It's my lucky marble.
It's always worked for me.
Thank you, Hobie.
Hey, Elke.
What are you doing out here? Well, the weekend is up, and I came to discover my fate.
This is wonderful.
I'd love to work outdoors like this.
Really? Why take a job inside the house? Because that's where my job is done.
Yeah, but there are so many other things you can do.
I mean, you know, why be a housekeeper, anyway? This is what I want to do now, you know, to live with an American family and care for them.
Why? Because it makes me happy.
Anyway, uh, let me just get to the point.
I can't hire you as a housekeeper.
I've decided not to hire anyone.
It's my fault, isn't it? No, it is not your fault.
It's just that I've realize how important it is for me and Hobie to take care of ourselves.
Really, Elke, it's nothing personal.
I'm sorry.
Well, what if you fell in love and got married? Then you'd have someone to take care of you.
True but Hobie wouldn't fall in love with her, too, and he wouldn't get jealous if I wanted to spend time with her.
I'll pack my things and leave tonight.
Elke, wait a minute.
I'm going to miss Elke.
I won't.
How can you say that? She was so much fun to be around.
That's why I won't miss her.
What do you mean? Well, she won't be our housekeeper anymore, so I won't miss her.
What are you talking about? Hobie, I won't miss her because she's having dinner with us tonight.
She won't be cooking.
She won't be cleaning.
She won't be sleeping over.
Then what's she doing? She's going out on a date with me.
I mean, that is if you can handle it.
Me? Handle it? You're the one that's going to be left out of all the fun.
No, I won't.
Yes, you will.
No, I won't.
Yes, you will.
No, I won't.
Hey, hey.
Hey, don't put that on my head