Baywatch (1989) s03e22 Episode Script

"Tonight on" Baywatch: Our new exchange lifeguard from the land down under.
Sort of a cross between Mel Gibson and Crocodile Dundee.
Wiley Brown's just the Australian Mitch Buchannon.
So, it's only natural you two would butt heads.
You don't remember my wife, do you? She died about ten years ago at Bondi Beach, when some cocky young Yank lifesaver tried to be a bloody hero! Cheers, mate.
Mitch! Here, boy.
Fetch.
Attaboy.
Please, allow me.
Thank you.
Voila.
Oh.
What are you staring at? I just can't get over how great you look.
This is really pretty, Mitch.
How did you get this all arranged? One of the benefits of being a 20-year lifeguard.
The beach is my office.
Wiley, take it easy! No worries, mate.
I'm a natural-born seaman.
Rides like the wind, don't she, mate? God, if I had one of these back home, I'd turn a few heads, I tell you.
Oh, she's a beaut.
So what you been doing since the "Westside Press" went under? I've been doing a lot of traveling, and, uh I started a novel.
- Yeah? - But then I ran out of money, so I just kind of got back into the freelancing.
So what about you? Oh, and how's Hobie? Hobie is approaching puberty at breakneck speed.
Well, that sounds like trouble.
You know, Kay, it's a lot different out there than when we were kids.
You know, frankly, I don't know how my mom and dad did it.
Maybe it's because I had a mom and dad, I mean I really think Hobie misses that strong female presence in his life.
Ooh, I don't know about that, Mitch.
I think I think Hobie's a well-adjusted kid.
As opposed to his father.
Cheers.
Mitch, there's a dog out there.
He looks like he's caught in a rip.
I'm sorry, uh I'll be right back.
Wiley, over there! There's a dog in the water.
Help! My dog! It's all right.
Take it easy.
Don't panic.
It's okay.
You got to get my dog.
We will.
Oh, man, what are you doing? Take the wheel, mate.
Come on.
Good on ya.
Mitch! Is she okay? Yeah, she's all right.
She's okay.
Be right back.
Who is that? Wiley Brown, our new exchange lifeguard from the land down under.
Whoo-whee! Come on, baby.
Sort of a cross between Mel Gibson and Crocodile Dundee.
Come on, baby.
Whoo-whee! Hey, hey, hey! You did it.
You caught him.
Come on, mate.
Look at the size of this bloody dingo.
Unbelievable.
- Here you go, darling.
- Star! Compliments of the land down under.
Wiley Brown, at your service.
You've got to admit, Wiley's got a unique style.
Yeah, sure knows how to draw a crowd, doesn't he? Oh, Mitch, stop being so cynical.
How is that being cynical? That wasn't a rescue; that was a circus act.
All he had to do was scoop that dog up with a net.
You know what I think the real problem is? No, I don't; why don't you enlighten me? You guys are two peas in a pod.
The last of the rugged individualists.
Brave, courageous, and bold.
Wiley Brown's just the Australian Mitch Buchannon, so it's only natural you two would butt heads.
So you think it's a male ego thing, huh? Basically, yes.
Well, that just goes to show you how wrong you are.
My problem with this guy is purely professional.
He's more interested in showing off than being a responsible lifeguard.
I'm telling you, you keep an eye on him while he's here.
See you later, everyone.
I got no problem with that.
"I got no problem " I need this.
Let's check that duty roster.
G'day.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
And where is my mate? Yo, Matt.
Yo, Wiley.
There you are.
How are you, man? Look, mate, I was hoping you'd help me with that incident report today.
Well, I'm not too handy with your Yank lingo just yet, am I? No problem, man.
I'll get right on it.
Oh, beaut.
Good on ya.
You wouldn't have a light, would you? We're not allowed to smoke in the headquarters.
You're also not supposed to wear a towel in the lounge.
All righty.
Have it your way, darling.
No, I mean, you're supposed to wear clothes or a bathing suit.
Yeah.
Well, first things first, eh, love? Yeah.
I'll be right back.
Look, mate, can you help me out with some change for a soda? I'm a little short.
As usual.
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
Hi, Summer.
Have you seen Mitch? Yeah, he should be down in a minute.
Okay, thanks.
I bet she'll be spunky, mate.
I'll see you later.
G'day.
Hello.
I saw you on the beach with a camera.
So, I guess you're with the press, eh? No worries, love I'd never hold it against you.
Oh, that's so reassuring.
The name's Wiley Brown.
And you are? The name's Kay Morgan.
Good to know you, Kay.
So, you want to do the story on the stranger from the strange land, eh? Is there a story there? A story? More like a bloody legend, darlin'.
Now, what do you want to hear about? Huh? How about the time I pulled a dingo out of a quicksand swamp, huh? No, wait.
The time the blueys raided the topless beach at Tamarama.
Now, there's a day that won't soon be forgotten, darlin'.
So I'll see you later.
Okay.
Hey, Mitch.
Hey, Matt, what's happening? How you doing? Listen, can I borrow some aftershave? Yeah, sure.
Help yourself.
- The locker's open.
- Thanks.
- Oh, my God! - Don't move.
Don't move.
Clementine what are you doing out of your sack? Sorry about that.
What the hell are you doing with a snake at headquarters? Oh, no worries, mate.
She's not poisonous.
Just a little frisky, that's all.
Hey, Clementine.
Come on, darlin'.
In you go.
Come on, darlin'.
In you go.
How did Wiley get Tower 18? Because he gave me this.
Oh, taking bribes.
That's a nice precedent.
Oh, Mitch, come on it wasn't a bribe, it was a gift.
Anyway, he's not out there by himself.
I'm doubling up with him.
Of course.
Good morning.
- Hey, Kay.
- Hi.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Well, you're not going to believe this, but you know those pictures I took of Wiley saving the dog? Well, I showed it to the editor at the "Malibu" magazine, and she wants me to do a feature story on him for the next issue.
- All right! - Thank you.
- Congratulations.
- Oh, well, thank you.
It's not going to win a Pulitzer or anything, - but it pays the rent.
- I got to go.
I'll catch you later.
Was it something I said? Um Nope.
Men.
There you go, mate.
As fresh as a daisy.
No snakes in the glove compartment? She's home under lock and key.
Say, Lieutenant what do you Yanks call those little buggers that eat through wood? Termites.
Termites.
Yeah, that's it.
Why do you want to know about termites? Well, back home, we call them white ants, but we use the term in another way, as well.
Now, a white ant is a bloke that steals another bloke's bird, and that ain't me, is it? No, sir, that ain't me.
So, I wanted to set it straight with you before I had a go at Kay.
You don't have to ask my permission to have a go at her.
Kay's not my bird.
Super.
Then everything's apples, eh? Look, all I'm interested in is you doing your job.
What you do on your own time is your own business.
Fair enough, mate.
Have a nice day.
See, back in Australia, darling, everybody wants to come to Malibu, you know, Surf City.
"Two girls for every boy" and all that.
Well, has it lived up to your expectations? Has it ever.
I just wish I could stay here full time.
That would be sweet, wouldn't it? Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Did I ever tell you about the kangaroo story? No, no.
I don't even know if I'm ready for it.
Come on, I got to tell you that.
Okay, okay.
Hey, Mitch.
I thought you were doubling up with Wiley.
Right after my workout.
You never told me you used to go out with Kay Morgan.
Well, you never asked.
She seems really nice.
Yeah, she is real nice.
Another reason to hate Wiley Brown? Kay and I are just friends.
We only went out a couple of times.
Still, you've got to admit, seeing her with Wiley adds a little fuel to the fire.
I need this.
Hey, hey, look.
I thought we were friends.
We can talk about our problems.
I don't have a problem! What problem?! What problem?! Something has got you off your game.
I think it's Wiley.
Now, if you question his ability don't trust him, whatever it is, I'll call Chief Thorpe and have him reassigned.
You don't have to call anybody.
I'm sorry.
Wiley's not my problem.
Then what is it? It's about a dream I started having again.
Stephanie, ten years ago, I went to Australia on the lifeguard exchange program.
I was working a tower at Bondi Beach that's the happening beach just outside of Sydney when a windsurfer went down just off the pier.
By the time I got to her she was probably already dead.
I mean, she wasn't breathing.
That wasn't my concern.
My concern was getting her in.
The waves were huge that day.
We got tossed around like a Ping-Pong ball.
I knew sooner or later we were going to smash into one of the pilings.
What's the lifeguard manual tell you to do in a situation like that? Well, put the victim between yourself and the piling.
If you get hurt, you can't complete the rescue.
They teach us that in rookie school.
Absolutely.
You ever try that in reality? No.
Doesn't work that way.
There's no way I was going to use that girl as a shield.
So I took the blow.
I was knocked out.
When I came to I lost the girl.
I had no idea where she was.
Coroner's report said it wasn't drowning, that the official cause of death was hemorrhaging due to the mast hitting her on the head.
But from that day on, the whole time I was in Australia every single day, every place I went, I saw that girl's face.
Anyway I got back to L.
A.
I figured I'd better block this whole thing out of my mind or else get a new career.
So I erased it from my memory.
I even managed to forget her name.
It was Sheila Gold.
Mitch, if she was dead by the time that you got to her, you can't blame yourself.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
That's why I think I got a problem with Wiley.
I mean every time I look at him it just brings up that memory.
He'll only be here a month.
Yeah.
No problem.
No problem at all.
Hell, we'll probably be best friends at the end of the month, huh? No, Chief, he's fine.
Just a few bumps and bruises.
Yes, I'll have a full report on the accident on your desk tomorrow morning.
Uh-huh.
Um, no, I'm sorry.
You missed him.
He's on his way home.
Okay.
Yeah.
I will.
All right.
Uh-huh.
Bye-bye, Chief.
That was no accident.
I beg your pardon? What's that supposed to mean? We've never had problems with the brakes on our trucks before.
Are you suggesting that someone tampered with your brakes? Oh.
And who might that someone be? As if I had to guess.
He was washing my truck when I left.
Therefore he's guilty of attempted murder? Come on, Mitch, that's a stretch, and you know it.
What about the snake? Huh? Just a coincidence the snake was in my locker? And who says it wasn't poisonous? Sure as hell looked poisonous to me.
Hi, mate.
Heard you had a bit of bad luck.
Just wanted to make sure you're still in one piece.
Thanks, Wiley.
It's nice to know you care.
Right-oh.
Look, if there's anything I can do, don't hesitate.
Well, I guess I'll call it a day, eh? Cheers.
Good night, Dad.
Mm.
Night, Hobester.
You, uh, you want me to get you another ice pack? No.
No, thanks, pal.
I'm fine.
You, uh, you had a long day.
You ought to get some rest.
I'll be up in a few minutes.
Thank you.
Did I tell you Kay Morgan called? Yeah, you did.
Did you call her back? Yeah.
I did call her back.
She wasn't home.
She said she wanted to come over for dinner sometime.
What should I make? Why don't we talk about the menu in the morning, huh? I just want to impress her, Dad.
You should, too.
She one of your favorites, huh? I don't know, it just seems like out of all the women you've ever dated, she's the only one I could really see myself calling "Mom.
" That's real sweet, pal.
I see how you could feel that way.
But let's not rush it.
I think I think we should at least invite her over for dinner before you propose.
Good night.
I love you, Dad.
I love you, too, pal.
Night, Dad.
Love you, pal.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Mitch! Hi.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm okay.
I'm a little sore, that's all.
Yeah, Wiley told me about the accident.
Yeah.
Alleged accident.
What do you mean by alleged? You've gotten to know this guy pretty well, haven't you? No, I haven't at all.
Come on, you've been spending a lot of time with him.
Yeah, I've been listening to this guy rattle on.
I mean, every time I start to ask him a personal question, he, like, launches into one of his legendary stories.
He say anything about me? Anything unusual? He ask about us? Yeah.
What did you tell him? I just told him that we were friends.
That was it? That was it, Mitch.
What's this all about? What do you want to know? I'm not sure yet.
Mitch.
What's up, Matt? Garner just called.
The police found a pinhole leak in your brake line.
They said it could have been caused by a nail on the road, or Or what? Or it could have been deliberately punctured.
That's it, come on, give me your truck.
They won't know for sure until the results are back from the crime lab.
What tower is Wiley at? Switched with Newmie; he should be down at Paradise Cove.
Mitch, where are you going? To get a few things straight with Wiley.
Knock, knock.
Hi, Steph.
Hi.
This just came for you - over the fax machine.
- Oh, thanks.
Oh, great! All right! What is it? This is Wiley's personnel file.
He gave me so many different versions of his life story that I knew I had to get the facts.
Let's go look at it, huh? Wiley.
Wiley! Ah! Ah! These are just his vital statistics.
Isn't there a psychological profile? I couldn't find one.
Oh, but here's something interesting.
Wiley told me that he was a lifelong bachelor, right? But according to his family history, he had a wife who died two years before he became a lifeguard.
He said that she drowned off Bondi Beach in a windsurfing accident.
Bondi Beach? That's what it says.
Does it give her name? Yeah, but I guess she didn't change her name after they got married.
It's Sheila Gold.
Sheila Gold Oh, my God.
Wiley's line is dead.
I tried Mitch's truck.
He's not answering.
Come on.
You've led a charmed life, mate.
I don't know how you managed to slip through my fingers, but I'm not taking any chances this time, am I? Ooh, I love the smell of petrol.
Don't you? My wife used to hate the smell.
Said it made her nervous.
I wonder why.
Funny what you remember about people, eh? But then you don't remember my wife, do you? She died about ten years ago at Bondi Beach when some cocky, young Yank lifesaver tired to be a bloody hero! It says right here in your training manual: Always position the victim between yourself and the piling.
All you had to do was follow the rules, mate.
I tried to What's that? Uh? I tried to Shut up! I don't want to hear your bloody alibis.
Sheila would be alive today if it weren't for you.
And I don't care what the bloody doctor said! You could have saved her, mate, but you didn't.
I've waited ten long years for this moment.
I wish it could last a little longer, but then you can't have everything can you? Lieutenant.
Cheers, mate.
I think that's Wiley.
The tower's on fire! I'll call it in.
KMF-295, we need assistance, please.
Mitch! Oh, my god, it's Mitch.
KMF-295, we have a burn victim.
Be careful, be careful, Mitch.
Let me see how bad you're burned.
I'm okay.
Did you see Wiley? Yeah, he went off on that Waverunner.
Go after him.
Mitch, we're getting you to a hospital.
- I said I'm okay go after him! - No, Mitch! I'm not letting him get away.
Mitch! Mitch, what are you doing? Come on, Mitch, get him.
It's payback time! Yes! Yeah.
Easy, mate, you bloody got me.
Nice ropin', Mitch.
Not bad for a bloody Yank, huh? How about a little Wiley on the barbie tonight, huh? Pinch me.
What? I just want to make sure this isn't a dream.
Mmm.
Mm! What are you doing? You said, "Pinch me.
" That wasn't a pinch.
This is a pinch.
What time is Hobie coming home? Hobie is spending the night at a friend's house.
Oh, I should have known.