Being Erica (2009) s02e04 Episode Script
Cultural Revolution
Previously on "Being Erica" And the lucky editor who will be leading us through this sexual revolution, Erica Strange.
Me? You're upset.
I get it.
I will do my best to step it up.
I apologize for disappointing you.
Aah! No! Jenny! You know, a baby shower is basically just rewarding somebody for having sex.
Hey, if you're looking for a little action on the side, I'm available.
Jenny! I have sex all the time.
Where is my reward? ? shalaka laka ? ? boom, boom ? ? the more I hang there ? ? the more I get wrapped up in him ? Uh whoa, I thought we were just gonna have a nice glass of wine.
What is that? You've never done this before? Are you kidding me? Why is he lighting them on fire? Why are you lighting them on fire? Just relax.
Relax.
It's not a big deal.
It's fun, Erica.
It is a big deal.
I have to work tomorrow.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
When faced with decision, no matter how small, we all do the same thing.
We calculate the risk.
Erica, what is wrong with you? I can't.
I-it's on fire.
Some of us play it safe.
While others It's not a big deal! Dive right in.
I--you know what? I'm so--I can't.
I have a huge day tomorrow.
Oh, my God.
Would you stop already? I feel like I'm out with my Nana.
Look, I have this big presentation tomorrow for the sex book, and I'm-- Shh-shh-shh-shh.
The sex book, the sex book-- It's all you ever talk about.
Maybe if you even had a sex life Ahh! It'd be a start.
I have a sex life.
Ethan and I, we--we do it all the time.
Let me guess missionary position on your bed, lights out, with a condom.
Jenny come on.
You're supposed to be this hotshot editor, but you're not exactly living the life.
How are you supposed to bring any spark, any excitement to your work when you are a lights out by 10:00 kinda girl? Fine.
Oh! Yes.
Ohh! Another one over here, please.
Comin' right up.
Yowzer.
Ohh.
Trust me.
You live in fear, you get the dregs, but if you're willing to take a risk and go after what you want Here you go.
Look.
See that guy over there? Uh, yes, I do.
I take him home tonight.
Yeah, right.
He's with someone.
You know what? take your 20 bucks.
Watch and learn.
? eyes come in contact-a ? ? shalaka ? ? starin' me down, talk-a ? Get him.
? shalaka ? Excuse me.
Hi there.
Hi.
I'm Jenny.
Hi.
Rob.
Nice to meet you.
Unbelievable.
? he make my heart go-o-o ? ? my heart, my heart, my heart ? ? shalaka laka ? Oh, God.
? boom, boom ? Oh, my God.
You should've seen Jenny in action.
She was like-- She-- She was like a heat-seeking missile.
Whoa! Easy, tiger.
Let's be spontaneous.
Ok.
Ok.
Ahh.
You know what? We, um--we prepare food here.
Exactly.
And now we're gonna have crazy, risky kitchen-counter sex.
You know what? Don't worry about it.
Look.
Opa! Actually, this one's-- it was a gift.
I don't wanna do this one.
Yes, ma'am.
Ok.
So, where were we? Sit.
Ohh! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Ethan.
Oh, my God.
Ethan, are you ok? I'm so sorry.
Aah! Oh! Oh, God.
Ahh! Ouch.
You know, maybe we should just, you know, stick to the bedroom.
Taking the risk, diving right in, it comes more naturally to some than others.
Trouble is when you're standing safely back from the edge, you can't help wondering if you're missing out.
? it's clearer inside of me ? ? who I will always be ? ? open me up to my heart ? ? feels like I'm seeing in the dark ? ? waking me up to my heart ? ? to do it all over ? ? again and again ? ? until the end ? ? the sum of my dreams ? ? and everything I ever wanted to be ? So, the thing about sex is that everyone does it, but no one does it in exactly the same way, so, um Um So--so what? I just--just give me one second here.
I'm just trying to-- I guess where I'm going with this is, um Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
You hear that? That is the milk truck backing far, far away from you.
What do you want the book to be? I'm trying to, um-- No, there is no "try.
" there's no "try.
" There's only "do," so, please, do it already.
Do you think that Michelangelo paused when he was painting the Sistine Chapel? No? But what if-- what if my take on the book is different from Julianne's? Ohh.
Stop being a little bitch and tell me what this sex book should be.
It's a fast-paced compendium of how to have sex-- with who and how, from-- from vanilla to tiger-tail.
All 32 flavors, sprinkles on top? Yes.
Sprinkles.
Tantric sex, mutual masturbation, pony play.
Heigh-ho, Strange! Away! Go.
Go get that little blonde vixen, and let's tell her this idea while you're still feelin' the fire.
Go.
This is fascinating.
So now, what's not the hottest place, but the weirdest place? Huh.
The weirdest? Yeah.
Ok Oh An owl shed.
Is that like a pottery barn? No, no, an actual shed for owls.
Uh, Jenny! Hey, what're you doing? Just a minute.
Ok, go on.
Ok, imagine if Gerard Butler and Daniel Craig were to get it on and have a love child.
Now, picture doing it to the sound of a hundred owls hooting in the rafters.
Did someone just crank the heat? Oh, you.
Uh, ok.
Julianne, Friedken needs to see you in the boardroom.
Oh.
Your friends, huh? They're all a lot more interesting than you.
Aww.
hey.
Hey.
Heh heh.
What? Jenny, that is my boss that you just told your soft-core bestiality story to.
Relax.
She asked me who I was waiting for, and I said "only the best sex book editor ever.
" And then she asked me what I thought about sex and Right.
Fine.
Listen, if you wanna go for lunch, I can't.
My day is jampacked.
And I am hung over because of you.
And my foot hurts.
Just don't ask about that.
I just came for my 20 bucks.
No.
Yes! Yes, Erica, it was the best night.
He slept over, and then he stayed for breakfast and now lunch.
Wow! I know, right? There is a downside, though.
He lives in L.
A.
But I really like him.
His name's Rob.
He's a record exec.
He's sweet and exciting, and I need to debrief.
Ok, just can't it wait till tonight? Only if you invite me and Rob over for dinner.
You know what? Ok, fine.
We'll order in, And I will suss Rob out for you.
This is good, Jenny.
You know what? It feels great.
Ok, good.
See you tonight.
Bye.
I don't wanna hear, "they can't be here by 2:00.
" We can be there by 2:00.
They can be there by 2:00.
Understood? Go.
Brent.
You sent me an e-mail.
Yes, sir, I did.
I'm going off-site for a meeting.
Tomorrow, come find me.
Ok.
Yes, sir.
I wanna talk further about this.
It's just an idea.
I didn't mean it So every chapter, it's a different flavor, from vanilla to tiger-tail and everything in between.
Yummy.
This whole ice cream thing, it's--it's cute, but what I'm really digging is the idea that's behind it, the pansexual encyclopedia.
That's naughty in a good way.
You could have kept it at just "vanilla," but--but you surprised me.
Great, Julianne.
Thank you.
So who's the writer? I'm--I'm still working on that.
Well, I had some thoughts.
Um, Dan Savage.
I heart his column.
Uh, or we could talk sex with Sue Johanson, or-- Uh, Jules This book's supposed to revolutionize sex and leading that revolution is a newspaper columnist? Ok, so who would you have write the book? And don't say yourself.
Anyone else-- A sex trade worker, a pimp, a 400-pound midget that likes to wear diapers.
Hell, I'd rather have Erica write it.
It was her idea.
She has the vision.
Erica? Oh, no, no, no, I think that he was joking.
No, he wasn't.
I had never written a word before Julianne hired me to write "The Secret of Now.
" Really? That's true.
And look how that turned out.
You--you wanna be an author, don't you, Erica? Um, I--yes, but But what? But what? I mean, Friedken's right.
I'm--I'm willing to go there if you are.
Wow.
Um What about my books? Well, obviously you couldn't write this book and remain an editor here.
Right.
Right.
Um Do you think I could-- can I think it over? Oh, sure.
Sure.
Overnight.
Ok.
Um So, I'm still thinking about it.
I just don't get what there is to think about.
Well, it's a big deal, Jenny.
I'd have to give up my job.
Yeah, to become an author.
More wine? Uh, yes, please.
You've wanted to be a writer ever since you wrote your first story in Mrs.
Daily's class back in grade one.
I know, but-- no, thank you.
But a sex writer? Hmm Oh, hey, I think you're smart to sleep on it.
So, in other words, don't? No, but you're gonna have to quit your job, and there's no guarantee the book'll turn out.
Uh Rob? Don't look at me.
We just met.
Which makes you the objective third party.
Uh, ok.
Um, it's like this.
Mm-hmm.
The world can be divided up into 2 camps.
You got rock stars that make the music and roadies that set up the equipment.
No guts, no glory.
That's my 2 cents.
Then on the cover, a new typeface, custom.
We can call it " Oh.
Yeah.
Uh, I'm not sure that's exactly where we were gonna head-- You wanted my answer to the book, and my answer is yes! Huh.
I was sure you'd chicken out.
Uh, no way.
No chicken here.
So, yes! Yes? Yes! Yes.
Yes! Ok.
Yes.
Y-yes.
Say it like, "yes!" Yes.
Um, yeah.
Say that.
No, no.
Say that, "yes!" Yeah.
Say that.
"yes!" I--you know what? I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna come back when you're less busy.
Yes! And the answer is "yes.
" That is the fifth time in 10 shakes.
Very interesting, the law of averages.
Well, "yes" works for me.
It's fascinating that some people can put so much faith into a piece of plastic to tell their fortune.
Mmm-mm-mm.
"the answer is no.
" Well, "no" is for cowards.
Mm, harsh.
Harsh, maybe, but kinda true.
I have said no a lot, and as a result, I've missed out.
"Taipei.
" Regret number 18.
Heh heh.
Exactly.
That is a perfect example.
That was the worst summer of my life.
I was-- I was between my undergrad and my masters, and I had a huge debt because of school, so I took this well-paying job with the government, but it was deadly boring.
It was my first call-center gig.
Jenny thought I was making the safe choice, as usual.
We'd always talked about travelling together after undergrad.
So she had this crazy idea.
Go to Taiwan for the summer, make a ton of money teaching ESL, and then use our savings to travel across Asia before coming back to the--the real world.
Mm, the real world is overrated.
I thought so, so I quit my job.
I booked a ticket to Taipei.
It was-- It was gonna be my grand awakening.
But then right before we were about to leave, I chickened out.
I suddenly realized that the only plan we had once we got there was to just wing it.
We were gonna stay in a youth hostel, and the jobs we had, we found on some sketchy website.
So instead of forcing myself to get into that cab I walked away.
I got my job back, and I spent the summer miserable and bored.
If I hadn't have been so afraid, who knows what woulda happened? Perhaps it's time to find out.
Wait! Jenny! Jenny! Hey! I changed my mind.
Are you sure? All right! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Palace, huh? Palace is a bit of a stretch.
Well, it looks very authentic.
Authentically filthy.
Listen, I have my parents' credit card here in case of emergencies.
Lonely Planet says there's a 5-star hotel right down the street.
Ohh Come on! No, Jenny, we are here for an adventure.
Ugh.
Let's go.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
We are in a great location.
We're just down the road from the Peace Park.
We're a short walk to the MRT line.
Careful! Careful! Watch the puke.
Oh, God.
Wow.
Wow, puddles of puke.
This hostel sure is authentic.
We're livin' on the edge.
whoo-hoo.
Hi.
Hey.
See? The Taipei palace has its merits.
Where's our room? I need to get some sleep before our first day.
Oh, God.
OhGod.
OhGod.
Oh God? Bloddy hell, don't stop! All right.
I'm Laurie from Bristol.
Laurie, I'm Erica.
Uh, this is Jenny from Toronto.
You--we can--we're-- we come back later.
No, no, it's all right.
I'll just bring him back, you know to finish what we started.
Right.
Ha ha.
She was joking, right? And the adventure continues.
Hope you packed ear plugs.
Jenny, it just-- it feels like we've walked here before.
Excuse me.
Do you know where Chengdu Road is? Mmm.
Ok.
That Hey, Jenny? Jenny! Can I help you? Oh, thank God.
Someone who speaks english.
Nice backpack.
Thanks.
So, how goes the big adventure? Uh, it's-- it's been an experience.
You know, Taipei, it's- It's interesting.
It's-- Actually, it's been pretty awful so far.
Huh.
I thought this was supposed to be the most amazing summer ever.
Yeah, well, right now, that-- that cubicle in Richmond Hill is looking pretty comfy.
Mmm.
Right.
Stinky tofu? Oh, that smells like rotten garbage.
Yeah.
That's because it's been fermented in shrimp brine, Mustard greens, and chinese herbs.
The soup base, called mala, is goose blood.
Mmm.
It's the unofficial snack food here in Taiwan.
You know, like doughnuts in Canada.
Right.
Go ahead.
The more stinky the tofu is, the better the taste.
Try it.
Oh, God.
Heh heh.
Actually, it's not that bad.
"it doesn't work to leap a 20-foot chasm in 2 10-foot jumps.
" American proverb.
And Chengdu Road, by the way, is 2 blocks that way.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
Ok.
Hey.
Hey.
Where have you been? So I saw a white guy go in a shop, And I ran like a psycho to catch him.
Gave me directions, and-- wait.
What's that smell? Uh, stinky tofu.
Eww.
Ok.
How 'bout we go for a big mac, instead? Let's get to work.
Ok.
It's up here.
I pay 300 a week.
Your ad, it said 400.
more than fair.
Jenny, you have the 4-year-olds.
Score! Little kids love me.
Erica, I noticed you have camp experience, so I'm giving you a bit more of a challenge.
Their teacher had an emergency and had to leave.
She was teaching the class their song for the upcoming parents showcase.
Oh.
What song? "Where Does My Heart Beat Now.
" That's Celine Dion, fellow canadian.
Represent.
You look like Celine Dion.
Same height.
Same hair.
Same mouth.
Oh, you could be sisters.
Mm, just don't ask to hear her sing.
Trust me.
The resemblance ends there.
Anyway, the kids know the words.
They just need to practice.
Ok, well, maybe I'll sign some autographs.
Thank you.
Uh, hello.
Ok, everyone! Everyone, sitting down, ok?! Please, shh! Be quiet! Shh! Shh.
Shh-shh-shh--ohh! Sitting down, everyone! Sit! Shay Shay wen shoo-ing wen? Hey, do--do you--hi.
Do you speak english? Do--do you speak english? Ok, 'cause I need you to help me, ok? Can you tell everyone here to stand in a lineup so that we can sing our song? Yah! Ouch! Oh, my God! Look, stay back! Little monster! Back! No! No! No! Oh, I hate to say it, But you look downright pathetic.
What if it's fractured? I can't believe some kid karate-chopped you.
Look, knock a few of these cosmos back, and you won't feel a thing.
Trust me.
These cosmos cost 20 bucks.
I can afford to knock back one.
You hate it here, don't you? No.
No! Ok.
I just need to stop living in fear and start living the life.
Look, sitting here and talking the talk ain't gonna cut it, yeah? You've gotta walk the walk.
You know what, Laurie? You're absolutely right.
Let's get out of here.
Let's just go do something crazy, Something wild and risky.
Yes.
Excuse me.
Check, please.
You know, maybe we could hitchhike out of Taipei Sure.
And go all bohemian, You know, take odd jobs, sleep in the countryside, just--just really live for the moment, you know? Oh, my God.
Hmm? Oh, my God.
for 6 cosmos? and a table fee.
That's like 400 American.
I have maybe 50.
I don't have any cash.
Um Just don't draw any attention.
We'll slip out.
No one'll notice.
Watch out He eats dishonest westerners for breakfast.
I'd pay your bill if I were you.
Oh, pay our bill? But the, um-- The owner, he said that our drinks were complimentary.
Right.
We're VIP guests.
Yes.
It's true.
I am very generous with my VIP clients.
You're the owner? Really? Are you Americans? Uh, Canadians.
Hmm.
That's so Strange.
I don't remember any Canadians on my VIP list tonight.
Sorry.
Remind me of your name, ms Dion.
Ms.
Celine Dion.
Heh heh.
Of course, How could I have missed it? Everyone, we have the one and only Celine Dion gracing our bar.
You must honor us with a song.
Oh, no, I-- I usually don't, for my throat.
Just saving it, you know? You want me to waive your bill, and you won't even perform one song? That is not very generous.
It's true, Celine.
You're being rude.
Mm-hmm.
Bien sur.
One song coming right up.
? so much to believe in ? ? we were lost in time ? ? everything I needed, I could feel in your eyes ? ? always thought of keepin' your heart ? ? next to mine ? ? but now it seems so far away ? ? don't know how love could leave without a trace ? ? where do silent hearts go? ? ? and where does my heart beat now? ? ? where is the sound ? ? that only echoes through the ni-i-ight ? Merci, je t'aime! Je t'aime! I love you.
Love you! I love you, Taipei! I thought everyone in Asia lived on top of each other.
Lots of people do.
I don't.
In fact, I don't even live here.
So, what do you do with all this space? Rent it out, usually over the Chinese new year.
Summer is the low season, so I use it for parties or whatever.
So no one's here now? I mean, minus 30 of your closest friends.
Oh.
Heh.
So.
How much would you charge yet severely underpaid ESL teachers? Depends.
What's in it for me? Oh, our--our rent, measly as it may be, and, well, we can-- uh, I don't know-- throw in some free english lessons-- not that you need any, and-- Tell you what.
How 'bout you keep your money and your english lessons and you stay here as my guests? Stay here for free? Yes.
That is so generous of you.
That would be brilliant.
Uh, wait up.
Hold up.
Timeout.
Erica, Erica, don't.
Jenny, I have to.
Look, Kendrick, that's-- that's a very generous offer.
It's too generous.
There are no strings attached to my offer.
You move in.
We enjoy ourselves.
Whatever happens happens.
And what if we don't want anything to happen? Then it doesn't.
It goes without saying that I'm inviting you here because I find all three of you charming and beautiful.
You won't hold my honesty against me, I hope? I didn't hold your deception tonight against you.
We'd love to stay.
Cheers! Cheers! ? yo, I'll tell you what I want ? ? what I really, really want ? Hey! Welcome.
Hey.
? I wanna, I wanna, I wanna ? Much better than the palace.
? wanna zigga-zig ah ? fabulous.
? if you want want my future ? of the rainbow.
Starts with red, then we go to orange, yellow, blue ? if you wanna be my lover ? indigo ? you gotta get with my friends ? ? make it last forever ? ? friendship never ends ? ? if you wanna be my lover ? ? you have got to give ? ? taking is too easy, but that's the way it is ? ? if you wanna be my lover ? Oh, whoa.
Jenny! Hey! Jenny, wake up! Jenny, wake up.
Come on.
We're late.
Oh, you go.
I'm--I'm too tired.
Jenny.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Red-- R-e-d.
Red.
Hi.
I'm so sorry.
There was construction on the Nangang Line, and then my MRT pass, it wouldn't swipe at the Guandu Station, so then I had to take a taxi.
Or maybe you party all night and woke up late.
The showcase is tomorrow night, Erica.
I need you here, not at some party.
I will be here, I promise.
Good morning.
Ok, so teaching hung over, not so fun.
If it's ok with you guys, I'm just gonna go to bed, ok? No.
No, no.
No way.
You're not going to bed.
Heh.
Jenny.
Not until you say yes.
Ok, fine.
Yes.
What? You just agreed to fly to Hong Kong tomorrow for the weekend! Kendrick has rented out the entire floor of this, like, crazy luxury hotel.
It's amazing.
Oh, you guys, I can't.
What? It's like an hour flight, it won't cost you anything, and you get your own room.
I'm sharing with Kendrick.
Look, I--I have the showcase.
I'm serious, Jenny.
I promised Mrs.
Li that I would be there.
Erica, you have given Mrs.
Li your blood, sweat, and tears.
For what?! To be underpaid? To work for free on a Saturday? Jenny! We came to Taipei to have an adventure.
When are you gonna get this chance again? Well, I guess You know, I could call Mrs.
Li and give her some warning.
The kids, they know the song, and I've got them this far, so let me go get Kendrick's cellphone.
We are gonna have an incredible time.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Hi, Mrs.
Li.
It's Erica Strange.
Uh Listen, I'm-- something's come up, and I'm not gonna be able to make the parents showcase tomorrow.
I do realize that it's short notice, and I'm so-- I apologize for that, but the kids, they did a great job on the dress rehearsal, and I'm sure they'll be great.
Bye.
Jenny.
Hey, we need to talk.
What is it? I just went to the kitchen, and I saw-- I saw Kendrick and Laurie making out.
So? "so?" Yes, Erica.
Come on.
It's ok.
How is it ok? I-- I thought that you were with Kendrick.
I mean, you guys are all over each other.
You're sharing rooms in Hong Kong.
Look, Erica, I'm not worried about this, ok, And you shouldn't be either.
Really? Really.
Jenny.
What's this for? Hong Kong.
I'm sending a car to pick you girls up tomorrow.
I want you to buy something nice.
All three of you.
No backpacker clothes.
Oh, my God, thank you.
I can't believe we're going to Hong Kong.
It's gonna be a total blast! Yes.
? hey-o, hey-o, yeah, you really hit that spot ? ? shake it till you're breakin' my ? ? come on, come on ? ? let me take you home so we can get it on ? ? now listen while I break it down ? ? mama, what's the deal-a ? ? with-a you and me-a? ? ? baby, you got me ? ? you got me, you got me ? ? you got me ? Jenny, what're you doing? What? What? With Kendrick.
What the hell was that performance? Erica, it's fine.
It's fine because he--he paid you a bunch of money? I mean, what are-- what are you, his girlfriend? You're his mistress? You're just like a part of his harem? Ok, tone it down, drama queen.
Look, I'm sorry, but I don't understand how you're ok with this.
And I don't understand how this is any of your business.
Jenny! Look, it's my business because you are my friend, and he's treating you like a piece of meat.
Oh, I'm a piece of meat? Ok, a-and you're not? I'm not the one that's making out with him or kissing Laurie on his say-so because he pays me.
I mean, Jenny, you are acting like A whore? You know what? You're right.
You're right.
You're not making out with him, But you're living in his place, And you're eating his food, so what does that make you?! You know what, Erica? The problem with you is that you're scared of everything.
No, that is not what this is about.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
We have an incredible thing going here, and you wanna ruin it by looking for problems that don't exist.
I have to go pack.
Now? Just pack tomorrow.
Our flight doesn't leave till late.
No, not for Hong Kong.
I'm going back to the palace.
Look, e-Erica, Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Look.
come on.
I am sorry, ok? I don't want us to fight, and don't skip out on this and Hong Kong just 'cause-- 'cause I'm drunk and I'm not watching what I say.
No, it's fine.
Jenny, you're right, It is none of my business, and even if I don't like what's going on here, it's your life.
It is your call, but this is not for me.
Erica, please don't do this.
I'm--I'm sorry.
I am here to do the showcase if-- If you still want me to.
Good to have you here, Erica.
Now, children, it's time.
Big smiles.
Remember to smile big, ok? Ok.
You know, you could've sent me to Taipei the same way you brought me back and saved me a 24-hour flight.
Well, you said you wanted the full adventure.
I gave you the full adventure.
Yeah? Well, it turns out that I am not the full adventure type after all.
I don't think that's true.
I just think it depends on what the adventure is.
The people that take the risk are the people that get the reward.
Everyone knows that.
What? My daughter used to take risks all the time.
In fact, it was the thing that defined her and of course terrified me.
I used to think that there was nothing that Sarah wouldn't try.
And some people, her friends, admired her for that, but Well, I only bring it up because I happen to think that sometimes the biggest risk of all can be the willingness to say no.
Erica we're all waiting for you.
Oh, right.
Um Excuse me.
Hi, um, Julianne, can I talk to you for a second, please? Oh, you'll be spending all day speaking with me right after we make this "offic.
" Brent you will be taking over Erica's slate, so first is "Rocket Man" by Marcus Stahl.
And then my personal favorite, "The None" by Katie Atkins.
That's my personal favorite, too.
Actually, Julianne, um what I wanted to talk to you about is--is that I can't write the sex book.
What? I'm sorry.
I'm not the person you need.
I am not a self-help writer.
Uh-oh.
Someone has cold feet.
It's more than just cold feet.
It's--it's not for me.
And the truth is-- is that I don't wanna quit my job.
And I realize, believe me, that this an incredible opportunity.
Oh, you bet it is.
But I thought you wanted to be an author.
I do.
It's my dream to-- to write literature and short stories and essays, but I don't wanna write a sex book.
I'm sorry, chicken.
Looks like Erica has come back to roost.
If you'll excuse me.
Brent, I'm really sorry.
Oh, I'm making everything so complicated.
Yeah, no guff.
Well, I can't say I "love" this turn of events, but I can't force you to write a book that your heart is clearly not into.
One more time.
You're sure? Completely.
Listen, Mr.
Galvin.
I want you to know that I only sent that e-mail because I care about River Rock, and I would hate to see nonfiction falter because my manager's having an affair with one of our authors.
Friedken.
Yes? Yes.
And I believe their relationship is compromising Julianne's leadership.
In what way? Well, um, she's distracted.
She's making snap decisions, like asking junior editors to be authors.
What? Which junior editor? Brent.
Um, Erica, sir, B-but that was Julianne's doing, Friedken's and hers.
She's--she's not thinking clearly, sir.
Books, Brent, they're all I care about.
When I start to see this quarter's work roll out, I will know immediately if you're right.
It's a ballsy move coming to me like this.
Coming! Hey! Surprise! It's to celebrate your book and me meeting a great guy.
What's this? Oh, I'm just Cleaning out some of my stuff in the closet for Ethan's things, because he's moving in.
Erica, this is fantastic! Look at you, living with Ethan, soon to be a published writer.
What's next? Actually, I passed on the book.
Oh.
Yeah.
Ethan talked you out of it.
No.
No, it just-- it--it wasn't the right leap.
Not right now, not this book, but I'm happy right where I am.
Ok.
Well, if you're happy, then I am happy.
All I know is that I wanna drink this thing, so Yeah.
How 'bout we celebrate the fact that I am moving to L.
A.
What? I am so into Rob, Erica.
I just figure I'll quit my job, hop on a plane, give it a shot.
But, Jenny, you barely know him.
I know, but I have a really good feeling about this.
I--I just--I What? I don't think it's a good idea, Jenny, for you to pick up and leave your whole life here for a guy you don't even know.
I mean, does Rob--does he even know about this? And where--where are you gonna live when you get there? With Rob.
Ok, but what if it doesn't work out? Then it doesn't, But at least I'll know that I didn't chicken out.
That's unfair.
Really? 'cause you turned down a book deal.
No, no, actually, what you turned down is your dream.
Talk about a bad idea.
My dream is to write fiction, and that will happen someday.
I am not letting that go.
No, you're just letting the opportunity to publish something you wrote go, but you don't see me attacking you.
No.
God, I'm not--listen, ok? I'm not attacking you.
I just care about you, and I don't think that-- that moving to L.
A.
on a whim is going after what you want.
It's not a risk.
It's--it's just reckless.
Wow.
Wow, so this is what happens when you get a boyfriend, huh? You become one of those-- those stuck-up girls Who thinks that a safe, boring life is the only way to go? That is not what this is about.
Jenny, I'm just worried about you.
Just spare me, ok? Come on.
Keep the champagne.
Hey, you know what? Listen to me, and you're really not gonna like this, but you think that you're this big risk-taker, but you're not.
Because you do the same thing all the time with guys.
You hook up with them for a couple months, and then you break it off.
I mean, you flying to L.
A.
, it's not living on the edge.
It's par for the course.
Honestly, Jenny, taking a risk, for you, would be to take it slow and, for once, to show this guy the side of Jenny that the men you date, they never get to see.
That would be taking a risk.
Risks-- How we feel about them says a lot about us.
Every day, every moment, We calculate and assess, Debate and decide.
But when you get right down to it, The truth is that when it comes to risk, the only thing that matters is that you take the ones that are right for you.
Me? You're upset.
I get it.
I will do my best to step it up.
I apologize for disappointing you.
Aah! No! Jenny! You know, a baby shower is basically just rewarding somebody for having sex.
Hey, if you're looking for a little action on the side, I'm available.
Jenny! I have sex all the time.
Where is my reward? ? shalaka laka ? ? boom, boom ? ? the more I hang there ? ? the more I get wrapped up in him ? Uh whoa, I thought we were just gonna have a nice glass of wine.
What is that? You've never done this before? Are you kidding me? Why is he lighting them on fire? Why are you lighting them on fire? Just relax.
Relax.
It's not a big deal.
It's fun, Erica.
It is a big deal.
I have to work tomorrow.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
When faced with decision, no matter how small, we all do the same thing.
We calculate the risk.
Erica, what is wrong with you? I can't.
I-it's on fire.
Some of us play it safe.
While others It's not a big deal! Dive right in.
I--you know what? I'm so--I can't.
I have a huge day tomorrow.
Oh, my God.
Would you stop already? I feel like I'm out with my Nana.
Look, I have this big presentation tomorrow for the sex book, and I'm-- Shh-shh-shh-shh.
The sex book, the sex book-- It's all you ever talk about.
Maybe if you even had a sex life Ahh! It'd be a start.
I have a sex life.
Ethan and I, we--we do it all the time.
Let me guess missionary position on your bed, lights out, with a condom.
Jenny come on.
You're supposed to be this hotshot editor, but you're not exactly living the life.
How are you supposed to bring any spark, any excitement to your work when you are a lights out by 10:00 kinda girl? Fine.
Oh! Yes.
Ohh! Another one over here, please.
Comin' right up.
Yowzer.
Ohh.
Trust me.
You live in fear, you get the dregs, but if you're willing to take a risk and go after what you want Here you go.
Look.
See that guy over there? Uh, yes, I do.
I take him home tonight.
Yeah, right.
He's with someone.
You know what? take your 20 bucks.
Watch and learn.
? eyes come in contact-a ? ? shalaka ? ? starin' me down, talk-a ? Get him.
? shalaka ? Excuse me.
Hi there.
Hi.
I'm Jenny.
Hi.
Rob.
Nice to meet you.
Unbelievable.
? he make my heart go-o-o ? ? my heart, my heart, my heart ? ? shalaka laka ? Oh, God.
? boom, boom ? Oh, my God.
You should've seen Jenny in action.
She was like-- She-- She was like a heat-seeking missile.
Whoa! Easy, tiger.
Let's be spontaneous.
Ok.
Ok.
Ahh.
You know what? We, um--we prepare food here.
Exactly.
And now we're gonna have crazy, risky kitchen-counter sex.
You know what? Don't worry about it.
Look.
Opa! Actually, this one's-- it was a gift.
I don't wanna do this one.
Yes, ma'am.
Ok.
So, where were we? Sit.
Ohh! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Ethan.
Oh, my God.
Ethan, are you ok? I'm so sorry.
Aah! Oh! Oh, God.
Ahh! Ouch.
You know, maybe we should just, you know, stick to the bedroom.
Taking the risk, diving right in, it comes more naturally to some than others.
Trouble is when you're standing safely back from the edge, you can't help wondering if you're missing out.
? it's clearer inside of me ? ? who I will always be ? ? open me up to my heart ? ? feels like I'm seeing in the dark ? ? waking me up to my heart ? ? to do it all over ? ? again and again ? ? until the end ? ? the sum of my dreams ? ? and everything I ever wanted to be ? So, the thing about sex is that everyone does it, but no one does it in exactly the same way, so, um Um So--so what? I just--just give me one second here.
I'm just trying to-- I guess where I'm going with this is, um Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
You hear that? That is the milk truck backing far, far away from you.
What do you want the book to be? I'm trying to, um-- No, there is no "try.
" there's no "try.
" There's only "do," so, please, do it already.
Do you think that Michelangelo paused when he was painting the Sistine Chapel? No? But what if-- what if my take on the book is different from Julianne's? Ohh.
Stop being a little bitch and tell me what this sex book should be.
It's a fast-paced compendium of how to have sex-- with who and how, from-- from vanilla to tiger-tail.
All 32 flavors, sprinkles on top? Yes.
Sprinkles.
Tantric sex, mutual masturbation, pony play.
Heigh-ho, Strange! Away! Go.
Go get that little blonde vixen, and let's tell her this idea while you're still feelin' the fire.
Go.
This is fascinating.
So now, what's not the hottest place, but the weirdest place? Huh.
The weirdest? Yeah.
Ok Oh An owl shed.
Is that like a pottery barn? No, no, an actual shed for owls.
Uh, Jenny! Hey, what're you doing? Just a minute.
Ok, go on.
Ok, imagine if Gerard Butler and Daniel Craig were to get it on and have a love child.
Now, picture doing it to the sound of a hundred owls hooting in the rafters.
Did someone just crank the heat? Oh, you.
Uh, ok.
Julianne, Friedken needs to see you in the boardroom.
Oh.
Your friends, huh? They're all a lot more interesting than you.
Aww.
hey.
Hey.
Heh heh.
What? Jenny, that is my boss that you just told your soft-core bestiality story to.
Relax.
She asked me who I was waiting for, and I said "only the best sex book editor ever.
" And then she asked me what I thought about sex and Right.
Fine.
Listen, if you wanna go for lunch, I can't.
My day is jampacked.
And I am hung over because of you.
And my foot hurts.
Just don't ask about that.
I just came for my 20 bucks.
No.
Yes! Yes, Erica, it was the best night.
He slept over, and then he stayed for breakfast and now lunch.
Wow! I know, right? There is a downside, though.
He lives in L.
A.
But I really like him.
His name's Rob.
He's a record exec.
He's sweet and exciting, and I need to debrief.
Ok, just can't it wait till tonight? Only if you invite me and Rob over for dinner.
You know what? Ok, fine.
We'll order in, And I will suss Rob out for you.
This is good, Jenny.
You know what? It feels great.
Ok, good.
See you tonight.
Bye.
I don't wanna hear, "they can't be here by 2:00.
" We can be there by 2:00.
They can be there by 2:00.
Understood? Go.
Brent.
You sent me an e-mail.
Yes, sir, I did.
I'm going off-site for a meeting.
Tomorrow, come find me.
Ok.
Yes, sir.
I wanna talk further about this.
It's just an idea.
I didn't mean it So every chapter, it's a different flavor, from vanilla to tiger-tail and everything in between.
Yummy.
This whole ice cream thing, it's--it's cute, but what I'm really digging is the idea that's behind it, the pansexual encyclopedia.
That's naughty in a good way.
You could have kept it at just "vanilla," but--but you surprised me.
Great, Julianne.
Thank you.
So who's the writer? I'm--I'm still working on that.
Well, I had some thoughts.
Um, Dan Savage.
I heart his column.
Uh, or we could talk sex with Sue Johanson, or-- Uh, Jules This book's supposed to revolutionize sex and leading that revolution is a newspaper columnist? Ok, so who would you have write the book? And don't say yourself.
Anyone else-- A sex trade worker, a pimp, a 400-pound midget that likes to wear diapers.
Hell, I'd rather have Erica write it.
It was her idea.
She has the vision.
Erica? Oh, no, no, no, I think that he was joking.
No, he wasn't.
I had never written a word before Julianne hired me to write "The Secret of Now.
" Really? That's true.
And look how that turned out.
You--you wanna be an author, don't you, Erica? Um, I--yes, but But what? But what? I mean, Friedken's right.
I'm--I'm willing to go there if you are.
Wow.
Um What about my books? Well, obviously you couldn't write this book and remain an editor here.
Right.
Right.
Um Do you think I could-- can I think it over? Oh, sure.
Sure.
Overnight.
Ok.
Um So, I'm still thinking about it.
I just don't get what there is to think about.
Well, it's a big deal, Jenny.
I'd have to give up my job.
Yeah, to become an author.
More wine? Uh, yes, please.
You've wanted to be a writer ever since you wrote your first story in Mrs.
Daily's class back in grade one.
I know, but-- no, thank you.
But a sex writer? Hmm Oh, hey, I think you're smart to sleep on it.
So, in other words, don't? No, but you're gonna have to quit your job, and there's no guarantee the book'll turn out.
Uh Rob? Don't look at me.
We just met.
Which makes you the objective third party.
Uh, ok.
Um, it's like this.
Mm-hmm.
The world can be divided up into 2 camps.
You got rock stars that make the music and roadies that set up the equipment.
No guts, no glory.
That's my 2 cents.
Then on the cover, a new typeface, custom.
We can call it " Oh.
Yeah.
Uh, I'm not sure that's exactly where we were gonna head-- You wanted my answer to the book, and my answer is yes! Huh.
I was sure you'd chicken out.
Uh, no way.
No chicken here.
So, yes! Yes? Yes! Yes.
Yes! Ok.
Yes.
Y-yes.
Say it like, "yes!" Yes.
Um, yeah.
Say that.
No, no.
Say that, "yes!" Yeah.
Say that.
"yes!" I--you know what? I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna come back when you're less busy.
Yes! And the answer is "yes.
" That is the fifth time in 10 shakes.
Very interesting, the law of averages.
Well, "yes" works for me.
It's fascinating that some people can put so much faith into a piece of plastic to tell their fortune.
Mmm-mm-mm.
"the answer is no.
" Well, "no" is for cowards.
Mm, harsh.
Harsh, maybe, but kinda true.
I have said no a lot, and as a result, I've missed out.
"Taipei.
" Regret number 18.
Heh heh.
Exactly.
That is a perfect example.
That was the worst summer of my life.
I was-- I was between my undergrad and my masters, and I had a huge debt because of school, so I took this well-paying job with the government, but it was deadly boring.
It was my first call-center gig.
Jenny thought I was making the safe choice, as usual.
We'd always talked about travelling together after undergrad.
So she had this crazy idea.
Go to Taiwan for the summer, make a ton of money teaching ESL, and then use our savings to travel across Asia before coming back to the--the real world.
Mm, the real world is overrated.
I thought so, so I quit my job.
I booked a ticket to Taipei.
It was-- It was gonna be my grand awakening.
But then right before we were about to leave, I chickened out.
I suddenly realized that the only plan we had once we got there was to just wing it.
We were gonna stay in a youth hostel, and the jobs we had, we found on some sketchy website.
So instead of forcing myself to get into that cab I walked away.
I got my job back, and I spent the summer miserable and bored.
If I hadn't have been so afraid, who knows what woulda happened? Perhaps it's time to find out.
Wait! Jenny! Jenny! Hey! I changed my mind.
Are you sure? All right! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Palace, huh? Palace is a bit of a stretch.
Well, it looks very authentic.
Authentically filthy.
Listen, I have my parents' credit card here in case of emergencies.
Lonely Planet says there's a 5-star hotel right down the street.
Ohh Come on! No, Jenny, we are here for an adventure.
Ugh.
Let's go.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
We are in a great location.
We're just down the road from the Peace Park.
We're a short walk to the MRT line.
Careful! Careful! Watch the puke.
Oh, God.
Wow.
Wow, puddles of puke.
This hostel sure is authentic.
We're livin' on the edge.
whoo-hoo.
Hi.
Hey.
See? The Taipei palace has its merits.
Where's our room? I need to get some sleep before our first day.
Oh, God.
OhGod.
OhGod.
Oh God? Bloddy hell, don't stop! All right.
I'm Laurie from Bristol.
Laurie, I'm Erica.
Uh, this is Jenny from Toronto.
You--we can--we're-- we come back later.
No, no, it's all right.
I'll just bring him back, you know to finish what we started.
Right.
Ha ha.
She was joking, right? And the adventure continues.
Hope you packed ear plugs.
Jenny, it just-- it feels like we've walked here before.
Excuse me.
Do you know where Chengdu Road is? Mmm.
Ok.
That Hey, Jenny? Jenny! Can I help you? Oh, thank God.
Someone who speaks english.
Nice backpack.
Thanks.
So, how goes the big adventure? Uh, it's-- it's been an experience.
You know, Taipei, it's- It's interesting.
It's-- Actually, it's been pretty awful so far.
Huh.
I thought this was supposed to be the most amazing summer ever.
Yeah, well, right now, that-- that cubicle in Richmond Hill is looking pretty comfy.
Mmm.
Right.
Stinky tofu? Oh, that smells like rotten garbage.
Yeah.
That's because it's been fermented in shrimp brine, Mustard greens, and chinese herbs.
The soup base, called mala, is goose blood.
Mmm.
It's the unofficial snack food here in Taiwan.
You know, like doughnuts in Canada.
Right.
Go ahead.
The more stinky the tofu is, the better the taste.
Try it.
Oh, God.
Heh heh.
Actually, it's not that bad.
"it doesn't work to leap a 20-foot chasm in 2 10-foot jumps.
" American proverb.
And Chengdu Road, by the way, is 2 blocks that way.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
Ok.
Hey.
Hey.
Where have you been? So I saw a white guy go in a shop, And I ran like a psycho to catch him.
Gave me directions, and-- wait.
What's that smell? Uh, stinky tofu.
Eww.
Ok.
How 'bout we go for a big mac, instead? Let's get to work.
Ok.
It's up here.
I pay 300 a week.
Your ad, it said 400.
more than fair.
Jenny, you have the 4-year-olds.
Score! Little kids love me.
Erica, I noticed you have camp experience, so I'm giving you a bit more of a challenge.
Their teacher had an emergency and had to leave.
She was teaching the class their song for the upcoming parents showcase.
Oh.
What song? "Where Does My Heart Beat Now.
" That's Celine Dion, fellow canadian.
Represent.
You look like Celine Dion.
Same height.
Same hair.
Same mouth.
Oh, you could be sisters.
Mm, just don't ask to hear her sing.
Trust me.
The resemblance ends there.
Anyway, the kids know the words.
They just need to practice.
Ok, well, maybe I'll sign some autographs.
Thank you.
Uh, hello.
Ok, everyone! Everyone, sitting down, ok?! Please, shh! Be quiet! Shh! Shh.
Shh-shh-shh--ohh! Sitting down, everyone! Sit! Shay Shay wen shoo-ing wen? Hey, do--do you--hi.
Do you speak english? Do--do you speak english? Ok, 'cause I need you to help me, ok? Can you tell everyone here to stand in a lineup so that we can sing our song? Yah! Ouch! Oh, my God! Look, stay back! Little monster! Back! No! No! No! Oh, I hate to say it, But you look downright pathetic.
What if it's fractured? I can't believe some kid karate-chopped you.
Look, knock a few of these cosmos back, and you won't feel a thing.
Trust me.
These cosmos cost 20 bucks.
I can afford to knock back one.
You hate it here, don't you? No.
No! Ok.
I just need to stop living in fear and start living the life.
Look, sitting here and talking the talk ain't gonna cut it, yeah? You've gotta walk the walk.
You know what, Laurie? You're absolutely right.
Let's get out of here.
Let's just go do something crazy, Something wild and risky.
Yes.
Excuse me.
Check, please.
You know, maybe we could hitchhike out of Taipei Sure.
And go all bohemian, You know, take odd jobs, sleep in the countryside, just--just really live for the moment, you know? Oh, my God.
Hmm? Oh, my God.
for 6 cosmos? and a table fee.
That's like 400 American.
I have maybe 50.
I don't have any cash.
Um Just don't draw any attention.
We'll slip out.
No one'll notice.
Watch out He eats dishonest westerners for breakfast.
I'd pay your bill if I were you.
Oh, pay our bill? But the, um-- The owner, he said that our drinks were complimentary.
Right.
We're VIP guests.
Yes.
It's true.
I am very generous with my VIP clients.
You're the owner? Really? Are you Americans? Uh, Canadians.
Hmm.
That's so Strange.
I don't remember any Canadians on my VIP list tonight.
Sorry.
Remind me of your name, ms Dion.
Ms.
Celine Dion.
Heh heh.
Of course, How could I have missed it? Everyone, we have the one and only Celine Dion gracing our bar.
You must honor us with a song.
Oh, no, I-- I usually don't, for my throat.
Just saving it, you know? You want me to waive your bill, and you won't even perform one song? That is not very generous.
It's true, Celine.
You're being rude.
Mm-hmm.
Bien sur.
One song coming right up.
? so much to believe in ? ? we were lost in time ? ? everything I needed, I could feel in your eyes ? ? always thought of keepin' your heart ? ? next to mine ? ? but now it seems so far away ? ? don't know how love could leave without a trace ? ? where do silent hearts go? ? ? and where does my heart beat now? ? ? where is the sound ? ? that only echoes through the ni-i-ight ? Merci, je t'aime! Je t'aime! I love you.
Love you! I love you, Taipei! I thought everyone in Asia lived on top of each other.
Lots of people do.
I don't.
In fact, I don't even live here.
So, what do you do with all this space? Rent it out, usually over the Chinese new year.
Summer is the low season, so I use it for parties or whatever.
So no one's here now? I mean, minus 30 of your closest friends.
Oh.
Heh.
So.
How much would you charge yet severely underpaid ESL teachers? Depends.
What's in it for me? Oh, our--our rent, measly as it may be, and, well, we can-- uh, I don't know-- throw in some free english lessons-- not that you need any, and-- Tell you what.
How 'bout you keep your money and your english lessons and you stay here as my guests? Stay here for free? Yes.
That is so generous of you.
That would be brilliant.
Uh, wait up.
Hold up.
Timeout.
Erica, Erica, don't.
Jenny, I have to.
Look, Kendrick, that's-- that's a very generous offer.
It's too generous.
There are no strings attached to my offer.
You move in.
We enjoy ourselves.
Whatever happens happens.
And what if we don't want anything to happen? Then it doesn't.
It goes without saying that I'm inviting you here because I find all three of you charming and beautiful.
You won't hold my honesty against me, I hope? I didn't hold your deception tonight against you.
We'd love to stay.
Cheers! Cheers! ? yo, I'll tell you what I want ? ? what I really, really want ? Hey! Welcome.
Hey.
? I wanna, I wanna, I wanna ? Much better than the palace.
? wanna zigga-zig ah ? fabulous.
? if you want want my future ? of the rainbow.
Starts with red, then we go to orange, yellow, blue ? if you wanna be my lover ? indigo ? you gotta get with my friends ? ? make it last forever ? ? friendship never ends ? ? if you wanna be my lover ? ? you have got to give ? ? taking is too easy, but that's the way it is ? ? if you wanna be my lover ? Oh, whoa.
Jenny! Hey! Jenny, wake up! Jenny, wake up.
Come on.
We're late.
Oh, you go.
I'm--I'm too tired.
Jenny.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Red-- R-e-d.
Red.
Hi.
I'm so sorry.
There was construction on the Nangang Line, and then my MRT pass, it wouldn't swipe at the Guandu Station, so then I had to take a taxi.
Or maybe you party all night and woke up late.
The showcase is tomorrow night, Erica.
I need you here, not at some party.
I will be here, I promise.
Good morning.
Ok, so teaching hung over, not so fun.
If it's ok with you guys, I'm just gonna go to bed, ok? No.
No, no.
No way.
You're not going to bed.
Heh.
Jenny.
Not until you say yes.
Ok, fine.
Yes.
What? You just agreed to fly to Hong Kong tomorrow for the weekend! Kendrick has rented out the entire floor of this, like, crazy luxury hotel.
It's amazing.
Oh, you guys, I can't.
What? It's like an hour flight, it won't cost you anything, and you get your own room.
I'm sharing with Kendrick.
Look, I--I have the showcase.
I'm serious, Jenny.
I promised Mrs.
Li that I would be there.
Erica, you have given Mrs.
Li your blood, sweat, and tears.
For what?! To be underpaid? To work for free on a Saturday? Jenny! We came to Taipei to have an adventure.
When are you gonna get this chance again? Well, I guess You know, I could call Mrs.
Li and give her some warning.
The kids, they know the song, and I've got them this far, so let me go get Kendrick's cellphone.
We are gonna have an incredible time.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Hi, Mrs.
Li.
It's Erica Strange.
Uh Listen, I'm-- something's come up, and I'm not gonna be able to make the parents showcase tomorrow.
I do realize that it's short notice, and I'm so-- I apologize for that, but the kids, they did a great job on the dress rehearsal, and I'm sure they'll be great.
Bye.
Jenny.
Hey, we need to talk.
What is it? I just went to the kitchen, and I saw-- I saw Kendrick and Laurie making out.
So? "so?" Yes, Erica.
Come on.
It's ok.
How is it ok? I-- I thought that you were with Kendrick.
I mean, you guys are all over each other.
You're sharing rooms in Hong Kong.
Look, Erica, I'm not worried about this, ok, And you shouldn't be either.
Really? Really.
Jenny.
What's this for? Hong Kong.
I'm sending a car to pick you girls up tomorrow.
I want you to buy something nice.
All three of you.
No backpacker clothes.
Oh, my God, thank you.
I can't believe we're going to Hong Kong.
It's gonna be a total blast! Yes.
? hey-o, hey-o, yeah, you really hit that spot ? ? shake it till you're breakin' my ? ? come on, come on ? ? let me take you home so we can get it on ? ? now listen while I break it down ? ? mama, what's the deal-a ? ? with-a you and me-a? ? ? baby, you got me ? ? you got me, you got me ? ? you got me ? Jenny, what're you doing? What? What? With Kendrick.
What the hell was that performance? Erica, it's fine.
It's fine because he--he paid you a bunch of money? I mean, what are-- what are you, his girlfriend? You're his mistress? You're just like a part of his harem? Ok, tone it down, drama queen.
Look, I'm sorry, but I don't understand how you're ok with this.
And I don't understand how this is any of your business.
Jenny! Look, it's my business because you are my friend, and he's treating you like a piece of meat.
Oh, I'm a piece of meat? Ok, a-and you're not? I'm not the one that's making out with him or kissing Laurie on his say-so because he pays me.
I mean, Jenny, you are acting like A whore? You know what? You're right.
You're right.
You're not making out with him, But you're living in his place, And you're eating his food, so what does that make you?! You know what, Erica? The problem with you is that you're scared of everything.
No, that is not what this is about.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
We have an incredible thing going here, and you wanna ruin it by looking for problems that don't exist.
I have to go pack.
Now? Just pack tomorrow.
Our flight doesn't leave till late.
No, not for Hong Kong.
I'm going back to the palace.
Look, e-Erica, Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Look.
come on.
I am sorry, ok? I don't want us to fight, and don't skip out on this and Hong Kong just 'cause-- 'cause I'm drunk and I'm not watching what I say.
No, it's fine.
Jenny, you're right, It is none of my business, and even if I don't like what's going on here, it's your life.
It is your call, but this is not for me.
Erica, please don't do this.
I'm--I'm sorry.
I am here to do the showcase if-- If you still want me to.
Good to have you here, Erica.
Now, children, it's time.
Big smiles.
Remember to smile big, ok? Ok.
You know, you could've sent me to Taipei the same way you brought me back and saved me a 24-hour flight.
Well, you said you wanted the full adventure.
I gave you the full adventure.
Yeah? Well, it turns out that I am not the full adventure type after all.
I don't think that's true.
I just think it depends on what the adventure is.
The people that take the risk are the people that get the reward.
Everyone knows that.
What? My daughter used to take risks all the time.
In fact, it was the thing that defined her and of course terrified me.
I used to think that there was nothing that Sarah wouldn't try.
And some people, her friends, admired her for that, but Well, I only bring it up because I happen to think that sometimes the biggest risk of all can be the willingness to say no.
Erica we're all waiting for you.
Oh, right.
Um Excuse me.
Hi, um, Julianne, can I talk to you for a second, please? Oh, you'll be spending all day speaking with me right after we make this "offic.
" Brent you will be taking over Erica's slate, so first is "Rocket Man" by Marcus Stahl.
And then my personal favorite, "The None" by Katie Atkins.
That's my personal favorite, too.
Actually, Julianne, um what I wanted to talk to you about is--is that I can't write the sex book.
What? I'm sorry.
I'm not the person you need.
I am not a self-help writer.
Uh-oh.
Someone has cold feet.
It's more than just cold feet.
It's--it's not for me.
And the truth is-- is that I don't wanna quit my job.
And I realize, believe me, that this an incredible opportunity.
Oh, you bet it is.
But I thought you wanted to be an author.
I do.
It's my dream to-- to write literature and short stories and essays, but I don't wanna write a sex book.
I'm sorry, chicken.
Looks like Erica has come back to roost.
If you'll excuse me.
Brent, I'm really sorry.
Oh, I'm making everything so complicated.
Yeah, no guff.
Well, I can't say I "love" this turn of events, but I can't force you to write a book that your heart is clearly not into.
One more time.
You're sure? Completely.
Listen, Mr.
Galvin.
I want you to know that I only sent that e-mail because I care about River Rock, and I would hate to see nonfiction falter because my manager's having an affair with one of our authors.
Friedken.
Yes? Yes.
And I believe their relationship is compromising Julianne's leadership.
In what way? Well, um, she's distracted.
She's making snap decisions, like asking junior editors to be authors.
What? Which junior editor? Brent.
Um, Erica, sir, B-but that was Julianne's doing, Friedken's and hers.
She's--she's not thinking clearly, sir.
Books, Brent, they're all I care about.
When I start to see this quarter's work roll out, I will know immediately if you're right.
It's a ballsy move coming to me like this.
Coming! Hey! Surprise! It's to celebrate your book and me meeting a great guy.
What's this? Oh, I'm just Cleaning out some of my stuff in the closet for Ethan's things, because he's moving in.
Erica, this is fantastic! Look at you, living with Ethan, soon to be a published writer.
What's next? Actually, I passed on the book.
Oh.
Yeah.
Ethan talked you out of it.
No.
No, it just-- it--it wasn't the right leap.
Not right now, not this book, but I'm happy right where I am.
Ok.
Well, if you're happy, then I am happy.
All I know is that I wanna drink this thing, so Yeah.
How 'bout we celebrate the fact that I am moving to L.
A.
What? I am so into Rob, Erica.
I just figure I'll quit my job, hop on a plane, give it a shot.
But, Jenny, you barely know him.
I know, but I have a really good feeling about this.
I--I just--I What? I don't think it's a good idea, Jenny, for you to pick up and leave your whole life here for a guy you don't even know.
I mean, does Rob--does he even know about this? And where--where are you gonna live when you get there? With Rob.
Ok, but what if it doesn't work out? Then it doesn't, But at least I'll know that I didn't chicken out.
That's unfair.
Really? 'cause you turned down a book deal.
No, no, actually, what you turned down is your dream.
Talk about a bad idea.
My dream is to write fiction, and that will happen someday.
I am not letting that go.
No, you're just letting the opportunity to publish something you wrote go, but you don't see me attacking you.
No.
God, I'm not--listen, ok? I'm not attacking you.
I just care about you, and I don't think that-- that moving to L.
A.
on a whim is going after what you want.
It's not a risk.
It's--it's just reckless.
Wow.
Wow, so this is what happens when you get a boyfriend, huh? You become one of those-- those stuck-up girls Who thinks that a safe, boring life is the only way to go? That is not what this is about.
Jenny, I'm just worried about you.
Just spare me, ok? Come on.
Keep the champagne.
Hey, you know what? Listen to me, and you're really not gonna like this, but you think that you're this big risk-taker, but you're not.
Because you do the same thing all the time with guys.
You hook up with them for a couple months, and then you break it off.
I mean, you flying to L.
A.
, it's not living on the edge.
It's par for the course.
Honestly, Jenny, taking a risk, for you, would be to take it slow and, for once, to show this guy the side of Jenny that the men you date, they never get to see.
That would be taking a risk.
Risks-- How we feel about them says a lot about us.
Every day, every moment, We calculate and assess, Debate and decide.
But when you get right down to it, The truth is that when it comes to risk, the only thing that matters is that you take the ones that are right for you.