Better Things (2016) s01e03 Episode Script


1 (panting) God damn it! Mother, you had me I, I wanted you You didn't want me So do me a favor and wake him up a bit.
Huh? Just, it's on him now, so I need you to surprise him because he's, he's too controlled now.
- Okay.
- Do you mind? No.
Totally, I, I think I got it.
- All right, good.
- Okay.
WOMAN: Okay, last looks, please.
So it's the big turning point now, right? - Yeah, yeah.
- Right? This is on you, this is real close.
We want to see this thing hit you, right? Yeah, I got it.
And, and the feeling.
- Right.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, uh - Thanks, Kunta.
Are you, uh, above this? Because I want to You're tight.
You're tight.
All right, all right.
- WOMAN: All right, finishing up.
- Here we go.
WOMAN 2: All right, and let's roll sound, please.
WOMAN 3: Rolling, rolling.
MAN: Quiet, please.
WOMAN 2: Sound speed.
Uh Cameras are set.
So I'm really sorry.
There's nothing I can do.
You lost custody of Maggie.
Oh, my God, Maggie.
You're never gonna see her again, and it's all your fault.
What? Cut! Why did you say that? That's - Sorry.
- That's, that's not in the script.
- Sorry.
- That's not in the script.
That felt That felt weird.
Big man, that was That was amazing.
- Yeah? - It's a great, great day.
(chuckles) It's a great, great day.
You're doing Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
- Right.
Thank you.
How are you holding up? I'm all right.
You know, it's, uh, - this is work, but, uh, - Yeah.
I'm blessed to be working.
That is right.
I just want to say I'm a fan from way back.
- I mean, you are great.
- Oh, no, no.
You are so You don't have to say that, Mel, but I do.
I love your movies.
Well, I used to, too, when they were my movies.
I know, but you're great, and it's an honor to be working with you, really.
Oh, thanks, Sammy.
Well, then it's only fair to tell you that my brother and I used to say "Oh, stop it" all the time.
Oh, my God, that's a nightmare.
No, no.
Seriously, that show killed us.
And when you did the sad episodes, we'd both pretend not to be crying.
Yeah, the sad shows were the best.
I don't need you.
I don't need anybody.
(chuckles) Well, not to jerk each other off too much, but Move Down is my Bible.
And it formed me.
- Really? - Yeah.
It did.
A little bit.
It did a little bit.
Well, that's That's all right.
DAVID: Melly Mel! Mel, I found these, uh, Tibetan prayer beads over at, uh, props, and I-I want to wear them.
Teak's, uh, Teak's going to wear these.
I know it doesn't match, - but continuity's for pussies, right? - Uh So Teak's a Buddhist now.
Right? It's cool.
- Or Hindu.
- Prayer-prayer beads? Yeah.
He's (laughing) Well we used to both do our own thing, and, uh, now we're doing his thing.
Yeah, but it's good to work with good people, though, along the way.
Well, that's what keeps me going.
You doing okay? Yeah.
I mean, it's hard for me being out here.
I mean, I-I need my-my home comforts and, uh living in a hotel for a month, you know, gets old, but, uh, Yeah, of course it does.
I'm whining.
No, no.
Everybody needs to be home.
You should come to my house for dinner.
Come have dinner with me and my girls.
And my mom.
Just be with a family for a night.
You could have some home-cooked food or some home-ordered takeout.
Come on, Mel, we're bros.
Seriously? Because, I mean, I mean, I'm-I'm tempted.
Yeah, you want to come tomorrow? Um, I could swing tomorrow.
You're coming.
You bet.
I'm sorry.
Was that Mel Trueblood? Yeah.
Are you having dirty with Mel Trueblood? Oh, my God, I love your life.
You love what you pretend my life is.
And no, we're not doing any dirty things.
You are.
You totally are.
How would I not tell you? On what planet am I not telling you? Okay, so you're hoping.
No, he's a nice guy.
And, uh, he's also a genius.
(deep gasping) Sunny, stop.
That's gross.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being gross.
I mean, he's cute, he's sexy.
And I'm pretty sure he's married.
Let's find out.
What are you doing? Don't.
I'm googling your genius new boyfriend.
No, no.
Not while you're driving.
We're gonna get into an accident.
- I hate this! - Dummy - This is nervous - A Tesla.
It drives itself.
Can you please put your hands on the wheel? This gives me a terrible feeling in my stomach.
I hate it.
Aw, man, he's wicked married.
Okay, good.
Now you driving and not the robot doing it.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Do you have to go right home? Yeah, honey.
I don't want to go out.
No, just come over for a little bit.
You know, you still could sleep with him.
Who? Mr.
Mo' Money Farouk back there.
(groans) (quietly): No.
You just have to promise to tell me if you do.
You promise to tell me if you do.
Pinky swear right now before we go into the house.
I'm not gonna do it.
He's married.
- Uh-huh.
- Will you make me a lemon drop? Totally.
MAN: Hey, Sammy.
Hi, Jeff.
SUNNY: Hey, hon.
Hey, baby.
Your I, uh, deal keeps making noise.
Yeah, I know.
Can you look at it like I asked you? All my stuff is broken.
Oh, Jesus, I'm so tired.
You know what, though? Later, maybe.
So are you wasted right now? JEFF: Okay, eat shit.
You know, but eat you some shit, though.
Right? (laughing) (laughing): What? Baby! (sighs) Eh, women, huh? SAM: Yeah.
- Right? - Mm-hmm.
Seriously, though, she's often a psycho.
Right, Sam? Yeah.
I mean (chuckles) I don't want to preach to the choir.
No, totally.
I get it.
You're awesome, Sammy.
Hey, seriously, for a second, though, like, what would she do without me? You know? Or you, for that matter.
I mean, I know I don't have to tell you.
It's like you know You know her forever.
You guys go, like, way back.
We go way, way back.
You know this.
My dad and I got in a fight, and, uh, he kicked me out of the house, and I was so scared, and she took me in, and she got me a job.
Yeah, she was 19, she was already taking care of people.
She was amazing.
She was full of confidence.
She was so beautiful.
I mean, I never knew anybody who had so much potential.
And then she met you, Jeff.
Jesus, did she love you.
And here's Sunny All right, this woman who loves so hard and she tries so hard, and she just ends up pouring all of that love into you for years.
Jeff, do you know what that's like to watch your friend, someone you love, someone who is like a goddess with the power to fly to the moon and shine a light on the world, and she ends up using all of that power just to keep her fat, shit, useless, boring stoner husband barely afloat? It's just a shame, Jeff.
(scoffs) Well, here's the thing.
I know that you have sucked your share of dicks, huh? I've heard about you.
That's okay, buddy.
Don't bother.
I don't care what you know.
Okay, well, here's the thing.
I'm gonna have to say that I cannot believe that you just said all of that to me.
Jesus, I'm offended.
Don't worry about it.
You won't remember.
You know why I know that? Because I said all of this to you five years ago, and you don't remember because you've smoked 10,000 joints since then, so good night, Jeff.
See you at the next thing.
All right, good night, Sammy.
I'm home.
Mama, you're home.
I missed you.
- Oh! - Where were you? Mommy had to work today, remember? - FRANKIE: Hi, Mom.
- I told you.
Hey, come meet our guest! Mel, this is Max, and this little one I'm holding is Duke.
She's very small.
- Hiya, Duke.
- Hi.
Sam? Oh, this is my sitter Lauren.
It's Mel.
Can I talk to you? Yeah.
What's up? It's just getting really difficult the way your girls talk to me when you're not here, - and I just think that they should learn some respect, - Oh, okay.
- And I don't know anything about - Okay, I have to cook good dinner, and so thanks for coming.
I love you.
Frankie, come here.
Mel, this is Frankie.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Wait, one more hi.
Oh, then I got to do this again to make it even.
Put on pants.
What? Are you gonna marry him? Hey, Duke? (whispers): You need to learn how to whisper.
Wait, so you're, like, an actor in the movie Mom's in? No, I'm the director.
- PHYLLIS: Hello! - Oh.
There's my mom.
You're about to meet my mother.
Hi, Mom.
Hello, sweetheart.
Mom, this is Mel.
Mel, this is my mother Phyllis.
- Oh.
- Oh, hello, Mrs.
It's very nice to meet you.
Yes, well.
Mom, did you take our phone book? Because I noticed all the neighbors - have their phone books.
- No, no.
Why would I take your phone book? I took my phone book, which was left at your step.
No, that's mine.
I always ask for two phone books, and they only brought one, so the one at your step must be mine.
Mom! I learned a piano song, come listen.
Come with me to the kitchen.
Okay, off you go.
(humming "Sleeping Beauty Waltz") I know this one.
Um, did you not tell your mother that you were bringing home a black man? What? Oh, no.
Of course not.
That's not No.
- I mean - What? No! You should've told her.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm telling you, that's not a thing.
My mother is just insane.
She makes people feel weird.
It's like her hobby.
No, Sam.
She's over 70, okay? You warn her that a black man's coming over, even if it's to fix the cable box.
Oh, my God.
I'm telling you, My mother is not like that.
She marched for integration.
It doesn't matter, okay? I'm not calling your mother racist.
I'm calling her over 70.
You tell an old white lady ahead of time, okay? You warn her.
It's the right thing to do for the old lady and the black guy coming over.
I think you're wrong.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm hearing you, and I know you feel certain of this, but I think that this is your thing.
That's not real.
It's not.
Oh, yeah, we don't have a mezuzah.
- What's up with that? - We're not that.
- Yeah.
- FRANKIE: Mm-mm! One time, Max was going to dance class, and she had this awful stomach virus.
- Frankie, don't tell that story.
- It was like a dress rehearsal - for a dance concert.
- MEL: Right.
And she was wearing this white leotard.
- Okay, stop it.
- SAM: Frankie? - MAX: Stop.
- DUKE: No, let her tell it.
- Come on.
What?! - Mm-mm.
So she misses the, the dress rehearsal.
She's gonna be dropped out of the concert.
- MEL: Mm-hmm.
- MAX: Mom! But she has this stomach virus Frankie, you can't tell this story - 'cause we're eating.
- Oh, come on.
Mom MAX: No! Shut up! Frankie, you're stopping.
- Thank you.
- Okay, I'm done.
- You're welcome.
- I'm done.
And then, right in the middle of doing a big split, brown poop squirted out of her butt all over the perfect white leotard! (laughter) Mom! (laughter continues) SAM: Sorry, Mel.
We like that kind of humor at dinner.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's-it's fine.
(quietly) What are you doing? MEL: Are you, uh, still studying dance? MAX: I do this thing.
It's-it's a modern class.
It's based on this thing called Alvin Ailey.
I don't know if Sure, I-I-I studied there, actually.
You did? Yeah, in New York when I was in high school.
That's great that you're doing that.
Even if you don't dance, which, you know, I gave it up when I was 19, but you'll never regret it.
I mean, it's still a part of me.
Yeah? Thanks.
No, you're lucky, because when I was your age and I was aching to be an artist, I had to explain that to my parents.
My father was a janitor.
My mom's still a nurse.
But they didn't know from art.
You're lucky because your mother is an artist.
Well, she's not, like, an artist.
Yes, she is.
She's, like, an artist.
Well, thank you, Mel.
That's very nice of you, Mel.
The last time I was in London, I went to Harrods to buy pantyhose, and so, I go to the lingerie department, and Harrods had their own brand of pantyhose, and they're the only ones I wear, and you can only buy them at that counter.
And their hose has three colors, Nude, White, and Nigger Brown.
That was the name of the color.
And that's the color I always buy.
So I go to the counter, and the young woman who was working there happened to be black.
And I said to her, "I would like medium-size hose.
" And she says, "What color, please?" and so I said, "Nigger Brown.
" And she was shocked.
I said it just like that.
I could see she was upset.
I said to her, "I did you the honor "of not noticing your color.
Would you do me the honor of getting my item for me?" So she went and got them, and after that, I paid for the hose.
Just so you know.
Oh, I need to use the loo.
You know, you're are really nice fimily.
Thank you.
They love you, and I am sorry about my mom.
No, no, no.
Don't be sorry about your mom.
Never be sorry about your mom.
No, Mel.
I'm very sorry about my shitty mother.
Okay, well, I don't know her.
No, you don't.
Um Yeah.
I You know, I have a friend who is very invested in wanting us to have sex.
Really? She needs us to do it.
It's pretty bad.
Well But I'm not about to get into a thing with a married guy.
That's just not, that's not me.
Well, I mean, I'm going through a divorce right now, and I've been going through a divorce, and we've been separated for months.
But I, uh, you know, am going back to New York tomorrow.
And as much as my brother would want me to throw down with Sammy Fox, I mean - Hey.
- Hey.
You know.
I don't know.
I mean I mean, I like you.
But I don't want to hook up with you.
I mean, actually, I really like you.
Yeah, me, too.
I mean, there's No.
a feeling there.
Uh, it's it's a nice feeling.
But me, too.
I-I'm I don't want to I mean - No, I - Just like That's There's your ride.
- That's my ride.
- Yeah.
Come here.
Oh, baby, in this world You can't count on nothing One moment it's clear Can I just tell you this was the first peace I've felt in a very long time? Same.
Maybe the next one Bye, Sam.
See things always changing See you, Mel.
Each day some new song On the radio station But baby, I always Will be standing by your side Sure as the ocean And a shoreline entwine
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