Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s01e12 Episode Script

One Man and a Baby

Why don't you come over and see me soon And we can have so much fun Two times good And two times bad Two times good Is this a public performance or should I pretend I'm not listening? Sorry, I thought I was alone.
- I know.
So did I.
- I can leave.
No, no, no, don't.
I hate to eat alone.
- All right.
- I'm Brandon.
Hi, I'm Melissa.
- Hi, Melissa.
- Hi.
So are you brilliant or just a dreamer? - Actually, I'm a brilliant dreamer.
- I see.
Oh, Harvard.
So what do you think your chances are? For real.
Well, I have an interview this weekend.
And if all goes well, I think my chances are pretty good.
- I'm impressed.
- You should be.
Just don't expect a vocal scholarship.
- Where are you applying? - Nowhere, until next year.
- Are you a junior? - Yeah.
Don't worry.
I won't hold it against you.
God, I'd love to skip class, just hang out here all afternoon.
- Sounds like a plan to me.
- Yeah, right.
In my dreams.
- Well, it was nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you, too.
- Enjoy the 11th grade.
- Thanks.
Oh, hey, wait a minute, you forgot something! "A+.
"Caesar could have used more speechwriters like you.
" Melissa Coolidge.
Big Toy by Confusion.
That's it.
We've got all five.
Oh, my God.
Start dialing.
Five in a row.
Five in a row, on KSRN 105.
4! We'll be taking caller number seven.
Because nothing compares to winning on KSRN 105.
4! Hello? - Hello? - You got through? - Brenda? - Brandon! Get off the phone! Brenda, you can't keep tying up the phone lines every afternoon.
Why? Who are you so desperate to call, anyway? Just a girl.
- A girl? - Hey! Wait a second.
- You didn't say this was a date call.
- It's not.
I met her at lunch, she dropped her Latin paper.
Who would wanna date a girl who takes Latin? A bizarre concept, I realize.
- So is love, come on.
- Brenda.
Hey, you made me call guys before.
What's her number? I don't even know what to say.
Try E pluribus unum.
- Where did you learn that? - It's on money.
Number please? Okay, in this case, I think you should use the surprise approach.
Don't give her any small talk.
Just ask.
That way, she doesn't have time to think about it.
Yeah, but don't sound too cocky.
- Why? A little bit of cocky is good.
- Cocky guys are jerks.
- Just be confident.
- Be sweet.
- But cool.
- But nice.
But don't take no for an answer.
Unless she says she's baby-sitting.
Oldest excuse in the book.
Hi, is Melissa there? - Hello? - She's coming.
Hi, Melissa? It's Brandon.
Brandon.
I met you under the tree at lunch today.
Cut the small talk.
You're giving her too much time to think.
Look, I'm really calling you for two reasons.
Number one: I have the Latin paper you left behind.
And No, no, don't worry.
I didn't understand a word of it.
Number two: I I wanted to know if you're free for dinner on Friday night.
Baby-sitting, huh? Well, how about Saturday night? Baby-sitting again.
Hang up before you humiliate yourself any further.
Nobody baby-sits that much.
Come on, Melissa, nobody baby-sits that much.
If you don't want to go out with me, why don't you just say so? Really, you think you could? Yeah, that That'd be great.
Yeah, your Your address is in the student directory.
Okay, how about 8:00? Great.
- She said she'd find a replacement.
- You totally busted her.
My brother, the stud.
I don't know, guys.
Maybe she really did have to baby-sit.
- Brandon - That makes no sense.
Yeah, well, neither do the two of you.
- Brandon? - Hi.
- Come on in.
Melissa will be right down.
- Great.
Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You sure this is okay, Mom? - Absolutely.
- Go out and have a good time.
- Thanks.
We won't be out late.
I promise.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Sorry, I didn't mean to come off like a senior snob when I met you.
You did.
- So why'd you call me? - I don't know.
I thought if I got real lucky, you know, you might sing for me again.
You really don't know anything about me? - You never heard anything? - Nope.
First time I ever saw you was three days ago, - sitting under my favorite tree.
- My favorite tree.
My favorite tree.
- God, this is so weird.
- What? There's a lot about me you don't know, Brandon.
Shock me.
Maybe later.
It's Lost Her Love by Trinidad.
- Are you sure? - Brenda, I lived this song.
- Start dialing.
- Write it down.
Who are you calling? I told a client I'd check in with him before he left for vacation tomorrow.
Dad! Get off the phone! Am I going to have to put in a second line? Oh, Jim, they'll be going away to college soon enough, you'll wish the phone was so busy.
It will be, only we'll be calling them.
Caller number five, sorry.
Later, caller number six.
Hello, caller number seven.
Your name please.
Brenda.
Brenda Walsh.
No way! - What? - That's my sister! Can't Touch This by MC Hammer.
Right.
Only one more to go.
And Lost Her Love by Trinidad.
Five in a row, five in a row.
I don't believe it.
- We won? - No.
Yes, we won! We won.
We won! We won! We won! We won! What is going on up there? Okay, Brenda, let's check out the Hit Machine and see what you've won.
Skydiving lessons for two.
- How does that hit you, Brenda? - Great.
Skydiving? Oh, no.
Brenda is scared to death of heights.
- Next time I'll let you choose the movie.
- No, tonight was really great.
You know, I I feel like I'm deceiving you or something.
I mean, I thought everyone at school knew.
Knew what? Why don't you come inside? There's someone I want you to meet.
Brandon, this is Joey.
Little brother.
Hi, Joey.
Hi.
I don't get it, what's the big deal? You have to help take care of him or something? Yeah, or something.
He's not my baby brother, he's my son.
Your son? I'm sorry, Brenda, but you are not going skydiving.
- Dad? - Brenda, you won't even ride on a roller coaster.
What makes you suddenly want to jump out of a plane? Because I won something.
What if you won two weeks in Siberia? I'd go.
Just to see what it's like.
You're home early.
Brandon, you will not believe what happened to me tonight.
Let me guess.
Does it have anything to do with MC Hammer and jumping out of an airplane? - You heard? - Yeah.
There I was, my most intimate moment, getting ready to make my move, and who's on the radio? My sister.
Yeah, everyone was listening.
A city of 12 million people.
I've got to claim my prize.
Sounds like more of a punishment if you ask me.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Good night.
Bren, could I talk to you for a minute upstairs? She has a baby? Yeah, and I'm probably the only person in the whole school who didn't know.
Make that one of the only two people.
Brandon, who's the father? - Is she getting married? - I don't know.
- Well, what do her parents think? - I don't know.
I mean, how does she deal with having a baby in high school? Brenda, I've got an idea.
Why don't you go out with her? You can ask her all the questions you want.
So are you going to ask her out again? I don't know.
She was going out with this guy, Frank Seltzer, who's also a senior.
They were, like, this great couple, then bada-boom, bada-bing, she got pregnant.
Yeah? Most girls will take care of the problem, Brandon.
But Melissa decided she wanted to keep the baby.
Well, maybe to her it wasn't a problem.
Maybe Frank didn't want to be a dad.
Well, maybe Frank should've paid more attention in sex education class.
What are you saying? It's all his fault? I'm not saying it's anyone's fault, Steve, it's just reality.
Well, I think you need a reality check, because if you start going out with this girl, it's gonna be nothing but problems.
Thanks, Steve.
This talk really helped, really put things in perspective for me.
Anytime.
- Hey, where are you going? - To find Melissa.
I'm gonna ask her out on Friday night.
"C-? Melissa, we can do better.
" - Melissa.
- Hi, Amy.
- Hi.
How's Joey? - Fine.
I finally got him on formula, so I don't have to run home for lunch every day.
It was making me feel like a damn cow.
But he's good.
You guys should come over and see him sometime.
You wouldn't believe how fast he's growing.
- Really? - Yeah.
I I think I have a picture.
This one isn't really a good one.
- You're still thinking about Harvard? - Definitely.
I have an interview this weekend.
- They have special housing, you know.
- That's great.
Listen, we better go.
We've both got chem.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Look, what are you guys doing later? Hitting Melrose.
You wanna come? Yeah, but, well, no, I can't with Joey.
Sorry.
See you later.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Amy, call me.
Tell her to transfer to Beverly High.
- Hey, where are you off to tonight? - I have a date with Melissa.
Brandon, this is getting serious.
Brenda, two dates is hardly serious.
I've gotta go.
Where are you off to? - You swear you won't tell Mom? - I swear.
Kelly and I have our first skydiving lesson tonight.
- You're nuts! - Maybe.
Okay! Have a good time with "Mom.
" Why, what are we doing? Nothing, Mom.
See you.
This is what it's all about, folks.
Piece of cake, right? Wrong.
There's a lot to know.
But don't worry, we're not going to just throw you out of a plane before giving you a lot of on-ground-type simulation.
I could simulate anything with this guy.
- My name is Don.
- Yeah, he is pretty cute.
Before this weekend is over, I'm going to teach you all the skills necessary to make your big jump on Sunday.
I think I'm going to be sick.
Would you relax? You're such a baby.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Come on in.
- Good to see you.
- You, too.
Do you know of any nice noisy places to go to dinner? Sure.
But why? Sorry about this.
My parents went away for the weekend, and the only baby-sitter I trust is coming over tomorrow for the Harvard interview.
Hey, it's an experience.
Things must be pretty jamming at the Coolidge household, huh? This is nothing.
He's an angel tonight.
Come on.
So, how do your parents feel about you being a mom? They're really supportive.
When I told them that I wanted to have the baby, they were right there for me.
Hey, I'm all for it, but what made you decide to keep him? I guess I felt I had to take responsibility for my actions, and my parents supported my choice.
- That's a big decision.
- Yeah.
But, I mean, you can't let society make the rules for you, Brandon.
You know, you've got to live by your own.
Yeah, I totally agree.
No one's going to tell me that just 'cause I have a baby I can't go to Harvard.
Hey, I come from a family of overachievers, what can I say? Oh, Joey.
What is this? What is this? Just what I love, a crying baby coming in here and making a wreck of my place.
Hi, how are you, tiger? Who's this? Your baby brother? Baby son.
Son.
Brandon, this isn't Nat, do I look like the kind of guy who'd keep a secret like this? He's much better looking than you.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
He loves me.
He's crazy about me.
Excuse me.
So, what was it like when When he just popped out and you saw him for the first time? First of all, Brandon, he did not just pop out.
No, I guess I guess not.
You really want to know what having a baby's like? - Yeah.
- It's like jumping off a cliff.
Brandon.
Hey, you look worn-out.
- How did you guys ever do it? - Do what? Have Brenda and me.
Two of us at the same time.
I can't even imagine it.
Where is this coming from? Oh, one thing I forgot to tell you about Melissa.
Besides being brilliant and extremely cute, she has a baby.
- What? - What? Yeah.
His name's Joey, and he's a holy terror.
I gotta get some sleep.
Good night.
Brandon, what do you mean, Melissa has a baby? I mean, last year she got pregnant and instead of having an abortion or putting the baby up for adoption, she's raising him at home.
Her parents are totally supportive, Mom.
And if they don't have a problem with it, I don't see why you should.
Oh, I I don't.
It just came as a surprise, that's all.
It was hard enough for me in my 20s.
It's hard enough for me now.
I I really like Melissa.
But if I never see that kid again it will be too soon.
You know what I mean? - Good night.
- Good night, Son.
Brandon? Brandon! Melissa's here.
Brandon, you gotta help me.
My baby-sitter called in sick at the last minute.
My Harvard interview is in a half-hour.
If I cancel now I'll blow my chances.
What are you going to do? I fed him this morning, he gets his bottle at 11:00.
The formula's already mixed.
In this bag are his blanket, pacifier, play toys, diapers.
Thank you.
You saved my life.
All right, Joey, don't worry.
Don't worry, everything is Everything is just fine.
You know what I'm saying? All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Grab this stuff here.
Just Hey, hey, oh, no, no.
Don't, don't, hey, come Mom! Mom! Oh, you cutesy-wutesy.
Yes.
What happened to Melissa? Her parents are out of town, her baby-sitter bailed.
She's got this Harvard interview today.
You guys will help, right? Did I hear screams? - Come on, Cindy, we gotta go.
- Oh.
- Where are you going? - Brunch with Dad's client, remember? Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
Oh, your skin's so soft and you smell so good.
Yes, you do.
Hey, you know, guys, I don't want to break up this little love-fest.
So we'll go with you.
I don't think that's exactly the vocal accompaniment the Bel-Air Hotel is looking for.
Get Brenda to help you.
She's a wonderful baby-sitter.
Good luck, Dad.
Is that Joey? I'm coming! - Where you going? - Guess.
Brenda, you can't go skydiving.
You're afraid of heights, remember? Hi.
Don said that you can't even see the ground.
Think about that for a second, just think about that.
You can't see the ground.
That's high! Here, take him.
Now, this will make him feel close to the womb.
I'm impressed.
I think you owe Joey the knowledge of your expertise here.
- Following me again? - In your sweetest X-rated dreams.
Sorry, Kel.
Brandon's having some problems adjusting to fatherhood.
I'll pay you, Bren.
- Brandon looks so cute with that baby.
- What's it doing here? We're supposed to be watching the Lakers game.
What if Mom and Dad find out you went parachuting, huh? I'm only looking out for you.
Brandon, I have to go through with this.
Look my fear in the eye.
Actually, you don't.
You stay here and I will brave the lesson myself.
You just want to hog Don.
- Don.
Who's Don? - Don Juan.
Can I hold? Oh, hi, there.
Hi.
Oh, I think our baby would have been cuter.
Oh, look at the proud parents.
- Right, thank God for safe sex.
- Hallelujah.
I think his diaper needs changing.
Yeah.
Wait a minute, I don't know how to change a diaper.
Didn't you see Three Men and a Baby? - Did you see Three Men and a Baby? - Yeah.
We got it under control.
Yeah, Three Men and a Baby.
We want to rent it.
What? You're kidding.
They don't have it, but they do have the Three Amigos! - What is this? - That's a diaper, Steve.
- Joey.
- Joey.
This kid's gonna be a power forward.
Can you imagine this for real? Yeah, maybe someday in the far, far, far future.
After I've done everything else.
All right, I got this one.
Come on, come on.
Ta-da! Maybe when you're really, really old, you won't mind your social life being nuked.
Yeah, maybe.
When Kelly and I were going together, we used to talk about who our baby'd look like.
Of course, she'd be the one who'd bring it up.
No, Steve is the one who fantasized about having kids.
Can you imagine him as a father? What a sick joke.
You know, it's so unfair.
I mean, Melissa is already a mom, and taking care of a baby and I'm still sneaking around for one stupid skydive.
Yeah, but I bet she did her fair share of sneaking around in order to become a mom.
Oh, my God.
He looks even more gorgeous today.
Yeah, I'd like to sneak around with him.
- Hi, Don! - Don, wait up! - This kid needs bootie camp.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Well, at least the diapers are holding.
Hey, Joey, Joey.
Hey, hey, hey.
You gotta sing when you rock him.
Rock-a-bye, baby, on the tree-top When the wind I don't blame you, Joey.
Some weird guy throwing you around like that.
Can you do better, huh? Diaper rash.
I think we all learnt something from that, Mr Mom.
Maybe he's hungry.
Bring him over here, sit him down.
Look.
Look what I got here.
Yes.
Delicious.
Oh, look, look at this.
I don't think he shared that opinion, Brandon.
Okay, Brenda, just relax now.
Your chute will open automatically after 30 seconds of free fall.
In case of a problem, there's a second backup chute.
It's absolutely fail-safe.
Now I want you to hit the ground rolling, okay? But it's so high.
So are the stakes.
You've got to spit in the face of fear, Brenda.
The future of the Allies is in your hands.
I understand.
I won't let you down.
And if you survive, we'll go to a nice romantic French bistro for dinner.
On me.
I'm ready.
That wasn't too painful, was it? No, just the re-entry.
Do you need more altitude awareness or can we go on to forward movement? She can jump with her eyes closed.
But I do need a little help with my forward movement.
Okay.
Step down.
- Come on, let's put the game on.
- Oh, yeah.
- What's wrong? - Damn it.
The cable's out again.
- Don't worry.
We'll watch it at my house.
- How can I? Bye, sports fans.
- Hey, thanks for your help, man.
- See you, bro.
Well, looks like it's just you and me, huh? Who needs a picture? We got sound.
Right? You want some more ice cream? Joey.
Joey, you want some more ice cream? How about some of this? You want some of this? Look.
Come on in, Steve.
All right, you stay here, okay, Joey? I'll be right back.
Hi, come in.
You can listen to the game with us.
Hi, sweetheart.
- Is he eating ice cream? - Yeah.
Brandon, how could you be so irresponsible? Wait a second, you're the one who dumped him on me at the last minute, remember? Yeah, we had some problems.
But now we're cooking.
What's wrong? My interview was a complete disaster.
This guy was a conservative jerk.
He said he had serious doubts I could handle Harvard with a kid.
So why don't you try for another interview? I just I think I made a mistake in deciding to be a mom.
I just feel like a total failure at it.
Yeah, you expect too much.
After today, I'm amazed you handle it so well.
Well, apparently not well enough.
You don't understand.
My mom went to Harvard.
She expects me to go there, too.
I mean, it's been my dream since before I can remember.
But if my grades keep dropping like this, I might as well just forget it all.
Hey, when I first came here, my grades dropped.
It was hard for me to adjust, but I did.
Brandon, it's not the same thing.
You were the new kid for a minute.
I'm the new mom forever.
Look, I gotta go.
Melissa, wait! - I'm not even gonna ask.
- Don said to practice.
I figure it'll be just like this, only more.
You know, I really hate it when you crinkle the funny pages.
Gee, you're cheery today.
I I just feel so bad about Melissa.
She was really upset.
So how are you gonna get back into her good graces? - Or, more importantly, Joey's? - You know, he really liked me.
Yeah, well, babies usually like other babies.
You know, I really admire Melissa.
It's hard enough being a teenager.
I sit here and worry about clothes and guys.
She has to think about real things.
- Morning.
Morning.
- Morning.
- Hi, Mom.
- I have got a great idea.
Let's have a family day the way we used to.
I mean, we could go to the zoo.
There's a new panda.
Your mom's been in the nesting mode since she got her hands on that baby.
Well, you two guys will be flying off so soon.
Sooner than you think.
I promised Kelly I'd study with her.
Yeah, I gotta go straighten something out.
Mom, is it okay if I borrow your car again? - Sure.
- Thanks.
You know, I hate lying to them about skydiving.
But if I can do this, I can do anything.
It's my one leap of faith.
Sounds like more of a leap of brain cells, if you ask me.
- I've got it.
- Got what? How you can cheer up Melissa.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I've come bearing make-up gifts.
I'm sorry, too.
I've got an idea.
Why don't we make up on a drive? I promise not to sing.
Great.
We could We could take Joey to the beach.
Where is he? Blissfully asleep.
My parents are back.
I thought it could just be the two of us.
Mom, Brandon and I are gonna go for a drive.
We'll be back in a little bit.
Just remember your father and I both have to work tonight.
Okay.
Don't worry, we won't be long.
- Say hi to Joey for me! - Will do, Brandon.
We'll just grab a bite and head back.
I feel so out of it.
All I've been hearing are Raffi lullabies.
Hey, did I tell you how basketball calmed down Joey? It was amazing.
Yeah, I used to watch a lot of basketball with my dad when I was pregnant with Joey.
Do they really remember? I wonder what it was like for him in there.
Listen, baby care is on recess, okay? Sure.
I'm sorry.
I think I just really need a break.
Did you ever want to make a turn, like that one right there? I've always wanted to do that.
Do it, Brandon.
Let's turn there.
I used to be so scared I couldn't find my way back.
Not anymore.
I feel like doing something so crazy.
It must be in the air.
Right at this moment Kelly and Brenda are probably jumping out of a plane.
Okay, we're leveling off at 12,000 feet! You girls ready to make the jump? I almost puked off the Empire State Building.
That was 11,000 feet lower.
Oh, relax.
It's almost over.
I don't know, Kel.
This might have to be a solo mission on your part.
No way, Brenda.
I'm not leaving you up here with Don Juan.
Don, you know I wanted to sign up for one of those private flights you were talking about.
Sorry, Bren, three's a crowd.
You know, Kelly, since you're so jump-crazy, why don't you jump first and Don and I will watch you? Brenda, I couldn't do that to you.
You're my best friend.
- I have to help you face your fears.
- No, Kelly, this isn't about - This is so amazing! - Brenda, get me down! - So, should we head back? - No.
Let's go further.
Whoa! You're making it hard to drive.
So stop driving.
- You're not acting like yourself.
- Great.
Because right now I'd rather be anybody else.
Let's get really lost.
Stay up all night, watch the sun rise.
Sounds like a nice fantasy.
We could do it if we want to.
Leave Joey? What are you, his father? Look, I feel guilty enough.
I feel guilty when I'm with him, I feel guilty when I'm not with him.
Suddenly you have a baby and nobody cares about you.
Just for a second I would like to be a teenage girl, and not a damn baby machine.
Hey, hey, hey, come here.
Come here, it's okay.
I can handle it.
Why don't you just take me home? Six-letter word for patience.
Hi, honey.
What's up? Mom, Dad, I have a confession.
I went skydiving.
- Brenda, didn't we agree? - Dad, let me tell you, after staring at death, copping to this is easy.
I mean, I've seen a larger meaning of life.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
I feel bad having lied to you.
Brenda, how was it? Great! Parent.
A six-letter word for patience.
I love it when you talk crossword.
Hi.
We had nowhere to go.
Oh, God, I'm so lost.
Hey, what happened? When I got home, my parents were really mad.
They said I stayed out deliberately.
My mom had a meeting with a new client and I blew it for her.
More guilt.
Just what you need, huh? What am I gonna do, Brandon? Hey, why don't you let me take Joey off your hands for a couple days, huh? We'll have some fun.
We'll shoot some hoops, we'll check out the local jungle gyms.
Thanks.
But, as much as I don't want to, I think I'm gonna have to give him up.
What are you talking about? I I can't handle the idea of being away from him for even a few days.
But I just don't think I can make my dreams come true with him.
You know, when I see you with Joey, this amazing thing happens to your face.
I know.
I know.
But I just wasn't prepared for all this.
I know what you mean.
I do.
At first I thought Joey was a royal pain in the butt, but now I see that this baby stuff is amazing.
- I could even see myself doing it.
- In 10 years, right? Hi.
Everything okay? I'm sorry, I'm a complete mess.
- Mom, could you - Yeah.
I used to chain-read before Joey.
I read about this study where two professional football players followed toddlers around all day.
The football players collapsed and the toddlers were still going.
- You mean it gets harder? - And better.
You watch them grow and achieve.
They become part of your dreams.
Yeah, but you weren't a mom when you were 17.
But I was young enough.
Sometimes I feel like I just have to get away from Joey.
And then when I'm gone, I can't wait to hold him again.
Remember the earthquake last month? I ran into Joey's room, I grabbed him.
I kept him with me all night.
It was for me.
My first impulse was to pack everybody up and take them back to Minneapolis.
I guess I didn't realize it would be so complicated.
I thought I could do everything.
Melissa, no one can do everything.
The question is, what do you want? Hey, am I in time for the concert? - You look good.
- Yeah, right.
I was up all night with Joey.
- Guess what? He said "mama.
" - Really? Actually it was more like "maaaa," but it's a start.
I'm telling you, he's a brilliant kid.
It's what they say when they need you.
- You up for a tuna-egg combo? - Yeah, but no.
I gotta go home.
- Why, is something wrong? - No, actually, something's very right.
I worked out a half-time schedule, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.
And what about Harvard? I might take an extra semester.
That school's been there hundreds of years, it can wait another six months.
- So you're gonna keep Joey? - He's a part of me.
Well, how about dinner Friday night, just the three of us? Can I take a rain check? I think Joey and I need to hang out together.
You know, just the two of us.
God, I've never been dumped for such a cute guy.
All right, okay.
- I get visitation rights, okay? - You bet.
Bye.

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