Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s03e03 Episode Script

Too Little, Too Late/Paris 75001

Andrea.
Andrea, this is getting a little out of hand.
Sorry, Brandon, I can't help you.
I'm busy right now, all right? - Guys, come on.
- We're having fun.
Well, I'm glad someone is.
Oh, well, which one do you want? Anybody seen Brandon Walsh? Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, don't tell Henry I'm here.
Don't tell him.
Laying down on the job again, huh, Walsh? Get back to work, you lazy bum.
Come on, you guys, time for lunch.
Let's go.
Run, run, run.
- Run, run, run.
- Hey.
Hey.
Hey! Hey, Andrea.
Thanks, Brandon.
That's all right.
Got a good group of kids there.
Hey, listen, I don't know if you have any plans for tonight, but Jay! I'm sorry, excuse me, I gotta go.
- I'll see you later, okay? - Okay.
Is that Andrea's new boyfriend? I don't know.
He's a boy.
He's her friend.
Well, she certainly looks happy.
I hadn't noticed.
Well, I'll see you later, Brandon.
Gotta go beat your father at gin rummy.
- Have fun.
- Have you seen today's Times? - No.
- Dylan's old man made the front page.
He's up for parole.
Well, tell you the truth, I think Dylan's better off with his old man behind bars.
Dylan.
I'm glad you could come.
- You look great.
- I feel great.
Been waiting for this all year.
- I'm glad you made it.
- Me too.
But it's not over yet.
I've still got that hearing.
You've been a model prisoner, right? They're gonna let you out.
There are a lot of people out there who would love to see your old man behind bars forever.
And that's why it's real important for me to cover all my bases.
My lawyers say that I could use a little help in the image department.
That's where you come in.
What do you want me to do? It's very simple.
All you have to do is write a letter.
What am I supposed to say in this letter? Well, what do you think you're supposed to say in this letter? You're my son.
I'm your father.
You figure it out.
You never change, Jack.
What are you telling me? You telling me you're not gonna help me out here? If you were in my shoes, I'd be there for you, and you know that's true.
So can I count on you here? I'll see what I can do.
Good, good.
Then that's settled.
Look, you know the address of my lawyer.
Do me a favour.
Make sure they get a draft of that letter by the end of the week so they can put it in the record.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Don't mention it.
So how's that girlfriend of yours doing? What's her name? Linda? Brenda.
Her name is Brenda.
I cannot believe that we are actually in Paris.
Brenda, what time is it back home? No way, Donna, we are not calling home right now.
We just got here.
Please do not lecture me right now, Brenda.
I am so tired, my stomach is a wreck, and I have a sore throat from all those people smoking in the airplane.
Well, just think about this.
You won't have to get on another plane for six weeks.
Good, because seriously, if I had to smell another cigarette right now, I'd absolutely hurl.
I mean, s'il vous plait.
Tell him that smoking causes lung cancer.
And heart disease and emphysema.
Tell him.
Donna, my French is not that good.
Well, you see, the plane was really smoky.
- The door is there.
- What did he say? What are you doing? Out.
You, out.
- Brenda.
- Donna, don't worry, I'll handle this.
Look, I'm sorry.
You can smoke if you want.
I mean, it's a free country, right? It's your country, n'est-ce pas? Have a nice day.
Thanks for handling that, Bren.
Anytime, Don.
We made it.
I wanna go home.
Donna, I did not just carry your luggage five blocks up a hill just to have you wimp out.
Once we get in the room, everything will be fine.
Oui, but you are in the immersion programme, no? And all the girls, they love for me to speak French with them.
We just had a really long trip and I don't think we're completely ready to immerse yet.
Except, of course, in a bathtub.
Mais oui, forgive me.
You are tired, but you are very late, no? Three people, they ask me for my last room, and I said, non, it is fully paid, I must hold it for the girls.
Voilà.
And all of our rooms have names.
This one is Marie.
Well, you know, I am sure that it has got a really, really nice window.
And this is for your clothes.
And the towels are ici.
This is for our clothes? All of our clothes? Both of our clothes? I need to sit down.
Kelly must have had ESP.
You know, Donna, it's not like we're gonna be spending any time in our room.
You will be in the programme all day and out with the parties all night.
See? - Knock, knock.
- Oh, hello, Maggie.
Please tell the girls they will be too busy in Paris even to sleep.
Oui, we shall give ourselves to our French lovers and then go home with broken hearts, but a lifetime of memories.
Hi, I'm Maggie and these two creeps are Lynnette and Ann.
I will leave you to make friends.
We just wanted to see who got stuck with Marie.
- Don't mind them.
- We won't.
I'm Brenda and this is Donna.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Well, cheer up, Donna.
Look, I got stuck with Antoinette, and it ain't a whole lot better.
Great.
Look, Donna, we can either complain all summer or make the best of it.
But if you're gonna sit around and mope, I'm gonna go take a bath, which is where? Try the third floor.
End of the hallway.
Oh, and the water heater takes tokens.
Oh, my God.
I've gotta call David.
There's a payphone in the courtyard.
Don't do it, Donna.
Look, if you call him before you get settled in, you'll get even more homesick.
Where are you guys from, anyway? Los Angeles.
Where in Los Angeles? West Lost Angeles.
What high school? - West Beverly High.
- I knew it.
So anybody got a cigarette? I gotta give you credit.
I don't think I'd last one day babysitting those little tykes.
Actually, it's a pretty good job.
Of course, it doesn't compare to hobnobbing with the bigwigs at CNN.
Yeah, right.
The bureau chief still doesn't know my name.
You're paying your dues.
They're still taking you to the Republican Convention, aren't they? We leave for Houston next week.
That sounds a little more exciting than digging for sand crabs all summer.
Well, you want me to talk to Mr.
Rouse, see if they have any more intern jobs? Yeah, right.
Like they'd hire anybody who's still in high school.
That's exactly who they hire, since they pay next to nothing.
- So you want me to check it out? - You kidding? I'd love it.
Even if it is the Republican National Convention.
Gives me a chance to smoke out the enemy.
The enemy? What are you talking about? I'm a Republican.
You're kidding, right? Horror of horrors.
And it doesn't bother you that I'm a card-carrying liberal? Well, you know what they say about girls who are liberal, don't you? No.
What do they say, Jay? It's rumoured that they're very liberal.
And you know what they say about conservatives, don't you? They're lousy lovers.
Who says? My lips are sealed.
Well, why don't you just stand up and let me prove to you how wrong you are? Oh, Jay.
Come on, Andrea, how am I supposed to uphold the honour and dignity of the Grand Old Party if you just sit there? Jay Don't tell me a card-carrying liberal is too bashful to commit to a little public display of affection.
Okay.
William F.
Buckley has nothing on you, boy.
Isn't that weird, how they're, like, doing that with their fingers? Yeah, it is.
You know what they're doing? They're signing.
That's how deaf people talk to each other, and it's not nice to stare, so stop.
Come on, come down the slide.
Hi, I'm Andrea.
What's your name? His name's Cameron.
Hi, I'm Andrea Zuckerman, how are you? - Hi, Ellen Shaw, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
How did you learn to sign? I used to do volunteer work at the Valley Youth Centre.
And there were some hearing-impaired kids there, so I thought I should learn how to speak their language.
Nice.
Not many people would make the effort.
It's fun.
And you better watch out or you're gonna get sand in your sandwich.
I don't like eating sand.
What? You like eating sand? No, I said, I hate sand in my food.
Oh, you hate eating sand.
Me too.
Look, Mrs.
Shaw, there's no reason Cameron has to sit alone all summer.
Why don't you sign him up for beach camp? I don't think so.
He'll be okay.
I mean, I can take care of him, really.
You don't have to worry.
I just don't think it would work out.
But thank you for asking.
- It was nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you too.
Come on, honey, it's time to come out of the sun.
There's something about being in a city that's over 2,000 years old.
It gives you such a sense of history.
Brenda, my feet are killing me.
Donna, I can't believe, in all those suitcases, you didn't find a decent pair of walking shoes.
Brenda, you're nagging again.
Yeah, well, our next stop is not too far.
No, no, no more.
I need a nap.
Donna, they strongly recommended that we see as many landmarks as possible before classes start.
Well, I think we ought to be excused on account of jet lag.
David has that same shirt.
Well, I mean, it's not exactly the same shirt, but it's the same colour.
Well, it's not exactly the same colour, but Donna, do you wanna go find a phone booth? No.
I mean, we both agreed to tough it out as long as possible, and if you can wait, I can wait.
Thattagirl.
All right, let's see what's next.
Why don't we go to Balzac's house and then call it a day? Okay.
Why don't we skip Balzac's house and call it a day? Donna, I'm sure if we just give it a few more minutes, we will find it.
Other people come to Paris, they go see the Eiffel Tower, take a stroll down the Champs Élysées, do a little shopping.
What am I doing? I'm going to see Balzac's house? It was on the list and in the neighbourhood.
Oh, great.
Who even cares about Balzac? Now, I mean, I could understand if it was Pierre Cardin's house, but Donna, you don't wanna be here, fine.
Why don't you get on the Métro and go back to the hotel? - Brenda.
- I mean, stay there all summer.
Better yet, why don't you just go back to Beverly Hills, live your same old princess life with your same old people? - Brenda - But you can do it without me.
Because I'm gonna take advantage of every little bit this city has to offer.
I mean, I'm not rushing to call Dylan the minute I get here because everything's not perfect.
I'm going to immerse, I'm going to speak French, and I'm gonna find Balzac's house if it's the last thing I do.
Good, well, if you're finished, I think the word is voilà.
Right there.
We're here, let's go.
I don't believe it.
It's closed.
What? All right, here we go.
Good girl.
Go get it.
Guess who.
Dan Quayle.
I was close.
Now, listen, I have terrific news.
I talked to my producer and he said if you're willing to work 24 hours a day for next to no money, he'd love to have you.
- You lie.
- Start packing, babe.
We're going to Houston.
That's great.
Oh, you're a miracle worker.
That's so good.
I had incentive.
This way I get to spend the rest of the summer with you.
Oh, I'm so excited.
Oh, that's so cool.
I can't wait.
Pinch me.
I still can't believe I'm not dreaming.
Well, hey, chalk one up in the dreams-come-true department.
She's trying to make you jealous, you know.
What? Girls pull stunts like this to make you realise you like them.
Steve, that's ridiculous.
- Why are you staring at her, then? - I wasn't staring.
Well, if you're gonna make a move, buddy, you better do it before it's too late.
Okay, go on.
Be careful.
- Hi.
- Hi, Cameron.
- Can I join that group? - Sure, you can join the group.
Did your mother give you permission? Terrific.
Come on over.
Group, come over here.
Come on over.
Gang, this is Cameron.
Cameron, this is the gang.
- Say hi.
- Hi, Cameron.
Well, don't just stand there, let's go swimming.
Come on, go for it! What's going on here? Cameron, I've been looking all over for you.
How many times do I have to tell you not to wander off like that? - He said he had your permission.
- And you believed him? - I'm sorry, Mrs.
Shaw.
- I was frantic.
I'm really sorry.
Well, thank God he's all right.
Mrs.
Shaw, excuse me for saying this, but just because Cameron has special needs doesn't mean he can't have fun with the rest of us.
Andrea, as you just noticed, Cameron has a tendency to wander off.
All children do, but when a deaf child gets lost, you can't just call his name.
So I have to watch him like a hawk.
How are you gonna do that with eight other children to look after? We'll set up a buddy system.
We'll make rules.
Please, Mrs.
Shaw, it's not fair to isolate him any more than he already is.
Andrea, thank you, you're very kind.
I'm sorry.
It's just impossible.
It's just day camp, one day.
There's no commitment.
Please, just try it.
Okay.
You win.
What? Cameron can join your group.
That's terrific.
So Kelly recommended this place? Yeah, but she didn't warn me it was so dressy.
Regardez that outfit.
We definitely have to check out le shopping.
We will, but not until we are speaking French just like the natives.
Come on, Bren, haven't you heard the expression "money talks"? Yeah, and I don't have a whole lot of it.
Besides, I don't want people to take a look at us and say: "Stupid touristes, let's take advantage of them.
" Look, you can't show any weakness here.
You can't let on that you're not right on top of things.
And now is a great time to start.
Here.
Bren, this is all in French.
Oh, God.
I don't want fish.
One sec.
This, please.
- What's that? - Veau is veal.
Oh, that sounds good.
Garçon, make that deux.
You see, that wasn't so hard, was it? All right, be careful, though.
Good.
Good toss.
Okay.
Great.
Now, careful, now, because when you toss it too hard, it's gonna break, right? All right.
Andrew, good catch, good catch.
Oh, my God, almost lost it.
That was good.
Good.
Throw it well.
Don't break it.
Don't break it.
It's not over yet.
Incoming.
Don't you dare.
Don't you even think Don't No.
Get her.
Get her.
Whose side are you on, huh? - Ready, aim, fire.
- Oh, my God.
Game's over.
Everybody in the water.
Come on.
Game over.
Hey, I heard about your new job.
Yeah, what a hoot, huh? Andrea Zuckerman at the Republican Convention.
So, what are you planning to tell Henry? I already did.
He gave me his blessings.
- And what about the kids? - What about them? There are plenty of people who can run day camps.
Anyway, he's got that girl from Beverly just waiting in the wings.
That may be true, but I'm sure she doesn't know how to sign for the deaf.
- That's a low blow.
- No, it isn't.
You went out of your way to drag that kid into your group.
He's having the time of his life and you're gonna dump him.
Excuse me, this was not a lifetime commitment.
- His mom knows that.
- Does Cameron? Since when are you so worried about the feelings of a little boy? I'm glad this is so easy for you, Andrea.
Thank you, Brandon.
I'm glad you're glad.
All I can say is the food better be worth the wait.
Me too.
I am starving.
I am famished.
I'm David.
I thought it was David for a second.
- You have really got it bad.
- What do I have? The dependent-woman syndrome.
I read about it in a magazine.
You're imagining that you see David because you can't accept the idea of your own independence.
I just miss him, that's all.
Donna, you can't fall into that old stereotype, you know, the clinging female who lives and dies by her man.
Oh, look who's talking.
I mean, David and I are dating, but you and Dylan were what, like, living together? No, we were playing house.
And that's partly why I came here, to see what it takes to be my own boss.
Not to be Daddy's little girl or my boyfriend's little woman.
And I thought we were just out to have fun.
Well, we will, if you'd just give it half a chance.
You know, Bren, I'd be having a great time if my dinner would just get here.
Okay, but just think about what I'm saying.
Otherwise, it's gonna be a really long summer.
Wait a second.
I ordered veal.
I don't know about this.
Okay, it looks weird, but I'm sure it's edible.
Great.
About now, I could eat just about anything.
It's very French.
It's kind of mushy.
It's brains.
Well.
From now on, let's just stick to fish.
No problem.
I hope you're planning to recycle all that paper.
Hi, Kel.
What are you writing, the great American novel? Hardly.
It's a letter.
Well, tell Brenda I said hello.
It's not a letter to Brenda.
It's for my father.
He's up for parole.
Yeah, I heard that on the news.
I'm supposed to write this glowing letter to convince the parole board of what a fabulous father he is, you know? Needless to say, the words aren't coming easy.
- I'll just leave you alone, then.
- No.
I need a break.
You wanna get a soda or something? Sure.
- So how's it going? - Not so hot.
Things with Jake and I didn't go so well.
You know, and I told him not to mess with you.
- You talked to him about me? - Yeah.
I really got sucked in.
I ended up throwing myself at him.
Yeah, well, some people have that kind of power.
Can I have a couple of mineral waters, please? Well, I guess I'm done with guys for a while.
But thanks for trying to look out for me.
Oh, hey, come on, we were in the same kindergarten class, remember? That's right.
Miss Carney.
As I recall, you were the king of quiet time.
You're having a hard time with this letter? Yeah.
I just can't come up with a single flattering thing to say about my own father that I actually believe.
Well, when in doubt, lie.
I may have to.
Hey, Andrea.
- Where are you off to? - I have a date.
Oh, hey, listen, what do you wanna go running off with that guy to Houston for anyway, huh? Don't you approve? I don't need your permission to do this, Brandon.
No, it's not that.
I just kind of wish you were sticking around here for the summer.
I'm gonna miss riding to work with you every morning and helping you out with the kids.
That's sweet.
Most of all, I'm gonna miss you.
Brandon.
What the hell was that? It's just how I feel.
Look, don't insult me like that, okay? Not now.
Hey, wait, what are you talking about? The only reason you're the slightest bit interested in me is because I'm seeing someone else, and you know it.
- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah? Then where have you been the last couple years, Brandon? You had your chance, you made your choice.
I'd appreciate it if you'd get out of my way, because I have a date.
So break it.
What makes you think you're so damn irresistible? Red Rover, Red Rover, let Cameron come over.
Go, Cameron, go.
Come on, you can do it.
Come on.
Cameron, good work.
All right.
Good work.
Tell me something, Steve.
What is it about guys that makes them suddenly want the one girl they can't have? I don't know, I think it's hormonal.
Okay, it's lunchtime.
Let's go, come on.
Everybody, one, two, three, run, run, run, let's go.
- Andrea.
Andrea, hey.
- Not now, Brandon.
No, come on.
Please, just listen to me for one minute, okay? I didn't sleep much last night.
I was thinking a lot about what I did and what you said.
And? And you were right.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you or insult you.
Apology accepted.
That's it? Just like that, apology accepted? You know, you do have every reason in the world to think I'm scum.
- Pond scum.
- Pond scum.
With lousy timing.
So are we still friends? Always friends.
Cool.
You really like him, don't you? Yeah.
I really do.
That's good.
I'm happy for you.
But I have to admit, you did call it.
You never know what you got till it's gone.
Thanks.
Bren, it's easy to repeat after you, but I was totally lost in class today.
How am I supposed to understand anyone at the party? Donna, I'm sure someone there will speak English.
And even if they don't, flirting is a universal language.
Bren, I'm not out to pick anyone up.
Besides, I would never do that to David.
Donna, this has nothing to do with David.
All I'm saying is that it's quite possible you might enjoy talking to some cute Parisian guys, and if you really want to, you'll find a way.
I know, I just miss David so much.
I keep thinking I see him everywhere that I go.
Yeah, I miss Dylan too.
It's just that I'm not obsessing over it.
I mean, he's there and I'm here.
Well, it's harder for me because of that language thing.
Yeah, well, all I can say is if Ann and Lynnette can handle this programme, so can you.
Maybe it's their accents that keep throwing me off.
Y'all ready to rock 'n' roll? Train's a-moving, gal.
Are you creeps coming or what? Now, remember, if you get into trouble, just ask where the bathroom is.
Got it? And where are you from? What'd she say? They live in Texas.
Oh, Texas.
Do you know George Bush? No.
Do you know Ross Perot? Do you know Ross Perot? Excuse me.
I sleep with her.
Alors, the more the merrier, n'est-ce pas? I don't think so.
Dylan.
Dylan.
That's it, David.
You're gonna get us kicked out of this club.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Where are you off to? - I'm going to jail.
It's for my father's parole hearing.
- Well, good luck.
- Thanks.
Hey, Dylan.
Nice suit.
Well, a little big in the waist, but I've been on that prison diet too long.
- This is some letter.
- I'm glad you liked it.
I guess I wasn't too bad a father after all, huh? Don't believe everything you read.
"My father taught me never to give up.
When I was 6, I was having trouble learning how to read.
Every night, no matter how busy he was, my father would sit with me for hours.
It wasn't sinking in.
But one night, I looked at the words and somehow it all clicked.
I never thanked my father for that.
" This is as good a time as any.
There won't be a dry eye in the house.
Except what I wrote in that letter wasn't really true.
My mom taught me how to read.
That's a lot of crap, Dylan.
You have a damn selective memory.
Oh, come on, Dad.
You were never around to teach me to read.
You were never around for anything.
Oh, yeah? I do not like them in a plane.
I do not like them on a train.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-l-am.
Listen, kid.
Whatever happens in there, I am glad that you're here.
Good luck, Dad.
Let's do it.
You know, I've had what I thought were French pastries before, but somehow they taste so much better here.
Bren? What's wrong? You know how you keep on thinking that you're seeing David? Well, it started happening to me.
And I started thinking, "What are we doing here?" We're immersing.
We're learning new things and a new language and a new culture.
Yeah, well, I'm starting to learn that being in one of the most romantic cities in the world isn't so romantic when you don't have someone you love to share it with.
Not that I don't love you.
You know what I mean.
Well, I guess I haven't been such a great travelling companion.
Well, you have been complaining a bit, but I've been pretty bossy.
You know, I'm really glad you said that, so I didn't have to.
We do do things our own way, don't we? I don't know, I would hate for people to look at me and think that I was some pampered kid from West Beverly High.
I really wanna be a whole person, with many sides and many talents and many interests.
I just don't know what they all are yet.
Bren, I have a confession to make.
I'm really glad that you came instead of Kelly.
Why? Well, if she were here, she'd be the one complaining, and I would have felt like I had to cheer up.
And honestly, I just haven't had it in me.
I hear you.
You know, you're gonna be okay.
And I'm gonna be okay.
I mean, this is the summer before our senior year.
We're gonna find out what it's like to be on our own and we are going to have the time of our lives.
So, what was that time difference again? I'll race you to the phone.
Dumbo.
- I got it.
I got it.
- Mickey Mouse.
- Bugs Bunny.
- Yeah! Great.
Cameron's team wins again.
That was the best one, you guys.
- Hi.
- Hi, how are you? Oh, Andrea, I just wanna thank you so much.
Cameron's having such a terrific time.
- He's a great kid.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry you're not gonna be around for the rest of the summer.
You've had such an impact on him.
Given him a terrific opportunity.
He's gonna miss all this.
Thanks again.
Hey.
Sorry about your dad.
I heard it on the radio.
When they started dragging out affidavits from like a hundred old women who'd lost their pension funds in one of Jack's high-quality investment portfolios, we kind of knew it was over.
It's all right, though, he'll be up for parole again in six months.
- Well, did you finish that letter? - Yeah.
Well, I guess we both know what it's like to have fathers who only care about themselves.
By the way, Brenda called last night.
She did? How's she doing? Well, they're having a great time.
She was going on with this story, something about eating brains, I don't know.
She seemed so far away.
Well, she is far away.
When she asked about what was going on here, I didn't even tell her about my dad.
Why not? Didn't wanna bring her down.
Yeah.
They're off in Paris having the time of their lives and we're stuck here, miserable.
Tell you the truth, I'm not that miserable.
To tell you the truth, neither am I.
Hi.
I told him you were leaving.
I'd like to talk to him myself, if that's okay.
Cameron.
You and me, we're friends.
I like you.
It must have been tough saying goodbye.
I wasn't saying goodbye.
Told him I changed my mind.
I decided I'm staying here all summer.
You are? What happened? Nothing.
What about Jay? What about CNN? What about Houston? Well, you hit the nail on the head, Brandon.
I mean, how could I turn my back on Cameron now? He needs me.
More than Jay or CNN or, God knows, the Republican Party.
So I had nothing to do with your change of heart? Come on.
Of course not, you conceited jerk.
You never cease to amaze me, you know that? Thank you, sir.
I do my best.
You're blowing a hell of an opportunity, you know that, don't you? No.
There'll be other conventions.
I wasn't talking about the convention.
I might still be here when you come back.
I won't be.
Not for long, anyway.
I mean, school starts in September, and Evanston, Illinois, is a long way from Beverly Hills.
Yeah, but there are telephones, airplanes, frequent-flier miles.
I mean, if you're willing to try a long-distance relationship.
You know, I get the whole month of December off.
A week at Thanksgiving.
Well, that's not so bad.
Yes, it is.
But I'm glad about one thing.
What? That the reason you're staying is Cameron Shaw, not Brandon Walsh.
That really is the reason, right? You wouldn't lie to me, would you? Hey, I'm a Democrat, remember? We don't lie.
Yeah, right.
I guess there's something to be said for the Democratic Party after all.
Wake up, campers.
Andrea's having a major tug of war down by the water and we need you.
All right, come on.
Let's go get some exercise.
Okay.
Come on, we've got them.
Keep going.
You're doing good.
Come on.
Good work.
Come on, Annie.
Come on.
Come on.
We've got it.
Don't let them win.
You gotta pull.
Gotta pull.
Come on, you guys, let's pull.
- What is that? - Were you pulling at all? - You need to put some weight on.
- Excuse me.
- I'm sorry.
I got tangled up.
- Yeah, me too.
Hey, come on, lovebirds.
Get off the rope.

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