Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s05e25 Episode Script
Double Jeopardy
State Capitals for $200.
''ln 1860, this state capital became the western terminus of the Pony Express.
'' l know this one.
l know this one.
What is Sacramento.
No, no, no, that's not it.
Eric? -What is Sacramento? -Yes.
State Capitals for $300.
''South Dakota's'' How'd you know that? He's always been like this.
And Brenda, too.
Their father, on the other hand Hey, hey, don't rub it in.
Answer: You can get this one, Dad.
Who's Orlando Magic? Good job.
Anyone? The correct response is, What is the Orlando Magic? You are amazing.
You know, Kelly, if your friend was really so smart, he'd get himself down to Culver City and try and get on the Jeopardy! College Championship they've been talking about all week.
He should.
Well, l am.
You are? You're going to be on College Jeopardy!? Well, first, l have to be picked, but they gave me a time to try out, so that's a start.
That's so exciting.
Yeah, it should be fun.
Although, it's still a long shot.
l don't think it's such a long shot.
l don't think it is, either.
After all, you're a great player.
You also happen to be the Student Body President of California University.
A very handsome student body president, l might add.
Mom, l don't think they care which way l comb my hair.
Trust me, looks counts for something.
And if it doesn't, it should.
Did you know Alex Trebek is one of the best-dressed men in Hollywood? l think l'm going to try out for Wheel of Fortune instead.
Hey, where are you going? They haven't even done Final Jeopardy! yet.
l'm gonna go call Zuckerman.
We sent our postcards in at the same time.
l want to see if they called her, too.
Brandon and Andrea have been talking about being on Jeopardy! since they were in high school.
Neat.
Excuse me, but l have to go talk to Brandon.
What are you doing? Uh, this isn't a very good time to talk to Andrea about this.
Okay.
Why not? l can't say.
l promised.
Kelly, when one half of a couple promises not to tell, it is assumed that the other half of the couple is exempt from said promise.
All right.
She had an affair.
-Andrea had an affair? -Yeah.
She says it's over, but the damage is done.
So l guess being on a game show isn't really high on her list of priorities right about now.
Mm, l tend to doubt it.
lf you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
lf you need lt's just all a waste of time and money! Sure, if you sit there pouting the whole time.
Excuse me, l answered every question that woman asked me.
Jesse, saying ''l'm sorry, l don't know how l feel,'' is not a productive response.
Well, maybe l don't feel comfortable telling a total stranger what l'm thinking about.
Jesse, um what are you thinking? l mean, no one's here, we're all alone.
What are you thinking? Andrea Andrea you're just not the girl l fell in love with anymore.
The girl l fell in love with was-was self-confident, she was driven, she was decisive, she was going some place.
Well, she got pregnant.
She had to get married, raise a child and go to school.
Unless, of course, you thought that Hannah should have raised herself.
Just forget it.
Let's just drop it, all right? You know, l didn't become a mother and a housewife on my own.
You were involved, too.
So don't hold me accountable for the decisions we made together.
l don't remember being consulted about Peter.
Well, look, l-l better go pick up Hannah at Mom's.
Jesse, you can't just say something like that to me and walk out.
lt's not fair.
What is fair, Andrea? Hmm? Okay, this Haitian language is a mixture of French and African dialects.
What is patois? No.
That's not the right answer? lt doesn't matter.
lt doesn't count unless you hit the buzzer the moment after Alex reads the answer.
What buzzer? Oh.
Look, if you're planning on taking home some loot, you got to concentrate, and reaction time is everything, buddy.
Funny.
l thought knowing the right answers was everything.
-Brandon, you got -Steve, don't l have to become a contestant before l can win any loot? Hey, guys.
What are you doing? Brandon's training for College Jeopardy! Really? Good luck.
l hear, the competition to get on there is going to be pretty brutal.
Uh, l'm not worried about it.
l think Brandon can go one-on-one with anyone from any school in the country.
Hmm.
Problem is, they usually only pick one person from each college.
Yeah.
So? So my hunch is, l'm going to be that person.
You're trying out for College Jeopardy!, too? Yeah, it's, uh, something l've always really wanted to do.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Well, l'm afraid at least one of us is going to be disappointed.
Well, you know what they say, ''Que le meilleur gagne.
'' Ganja? What? What? What does that mean? lt means, ''Good luck, sucker.
'' Ciao.
She was just trying to psyche you out.
She was not! Look, Clare happens to be a very good player.
ln fact, she spends hours playing every night on her computer.
-So? -So? So she answers all the questions in French.
Ha.
Well, good luck in the tournament.
Boys.
Hey, tell Clare not to get her hopes up.
-We've got some work to do.
-Yeah.
Okay.
What do you? Hi, guys! Come on in.
Look, Kelly, Daddy's home.
Yeah, l can see that, sweetie.
Uh, what's-what's going on here? Take a wild guess.
Yeah, a really wild guess.
The wilder the better.
Um, honey, why don't you go get your coat on, okay? And-And we'll just go, um We'll just go.
How weird was that? Weird.
That was that was definitely one for ''The X Files.
'' They looked so happy.
lt was disgusting, wasn't it? lt must be nice for Erin.
l mean, when l was little, all l wanted was for Mommy and Daddy to get back together.
You know, l-l can't believe that, uh Jackie forgave my dad for all that.
l mean, that's l wouldn't blame her if she never did.
l just l Could you ever do that? Could you ever forgive somebody for something like that? l don't know.
Mm, it would depend on a lot of things, like how remorseful the person was, or how much l loved them.
Hmm.
l think l could.
l'm not sure.
l wish l could be forgiven.
What are you talking about? You never cheated on Clare, did you? No, l wasn't talking about Clare.
l was l was talking about Donna.
Hi, everyone, and welcome to Jeopardy! No, l'm not Ray Pruit.
l want to leave a message for him.
Here we go, round one.
Well, when he checks in, will you just tell him Donna called, please? No, not Donald! Donna! D-O-N-N-A.
Yes.
Thank you.
He was supposed to check in last night.
Ray's a big boy.
He can take care of himself.
Or is that the problem-- that he's a big boy? What if, you know, out of sight, out of mind? Not a chance.
l hope you're right.
Hey, look at it this way.
lf, um, you and Ray do break up, you always have David waiting in the wings.
Clare, l told you.
David and l are just good friends.
Yeah, l know, l know.
l'm not blaming you for anything.
David and l had five months together, which is about five months longer than l've had with anyone else, so So, are-are you guys both cool with it being over? Yeah.
Yeah.
l think we'll probably end up good friends.
Eventually.
lf we ever start talking again.
Hmm.
Maybe it's Ray.
Hello? lt's for you.
Oh.
Hello? Clare, guess who's sitting right in front of me? l have no idea.
Well, he's a friend of yours.
He's president of the student body, and l'm afraid he's a bit delusional about College Jeopardy! Daddy.
Please, don't embarrass me here.
Clare asked me to remind you that she's fluent in five languages.
Yeah.
Don't do this to me, please.
Why are you doing this? She says the only way you'll win is if the category is funny haircuts.
Huh.
Dad, tell him that you're the one saying that now, please.
Oh, sorry, darling, got to go.
Tell him that it's not me Dad what l was just having a little fun at your expense.
Yeah, l kind of got that, sir.
l'm sure you'll do brilliantly tomorrow.
And as Clare says, ''Que le meilleur gagne.
'' Yes? Howard! Thanks for calling me back Jesse.
You okay? You don't look so good.
Thanks.
You want some soup? Coffee.
l need coffee.
Coffee.
Sounds like something l don't even want to get into.
Trust me, you don't.
Married life can really take it out of you.
l can imagine.
Thanks.
Can l, uh, get you anything? No.
l, uh, think l'm going to finish this chapter, and then head out.
Okay.
Good.
The fact is, Andrea and l aren't doing so great right now.
Honestly don't know if we're going to make it.
l'm really sorry to hear that, man.
You don't have to put on an act on my account, Dylan.
Andrea told me you saw her go into that motel.
You wouldn't believe the last few days.
Every word we say drives the other one nuts.
And l had to move out, just to preserve our sanity.
l really am sorry to hear that.
Yeah, me, too.
So, what are you going to do? l don't know.
l can't stay at my folks' house.
They'd die if they knew what was going on.
My best friend just had a kid, so that boat's full.
The whole idea of getting my own apartment's completely out of the question.
We can barely afford the one we have now.
Look, Jess, if you're stuck or something, man, l could Oh, man, thanks.
l was hoping you'd say that.
lt'll only be for a couple of nights, l promise.
l could make you a loan was what l was gonna say.
You won't even know l'm there.
Don't put me in the middle -of this thing, Jesse.
-l promise.
l won't even mention her name, not once.
That's not the point.
lf l let you stay, it's like l'm choosing sides -against her and -Look, if Andrea and l don't get some time apart, man, we're gonna fall apart.
So, so, actually you'd be doing Andrea a favor by letting me move in with you.
Huh? All right.
A couple of days.
That's great.
And like l said, you know what? You won't even know l'm there.
All right.
Quiet as a mouse.
and l like to translate German technical manuals in my spare time.
That's just great.
And last but not least, we have Brandon Walsh from California University.
Brandon is the Student Body President with an undeclared major and a grade point average of Whoa.
Can we stop tape for a moment, please? -Johnny? -Yes, Alex.
ls something wrong? Well, it says here that Brandon's grade point average is 3.
2.
-That's all? -Yeah.
What's the sense of having a screening process if this is what we're gonna end up with? l'll have the contestant coordinators taken out -and shot, Alex.
-Ah, never mind.
Let's go on.
Um, all right, Brandon, how do you explain your feeble grade point average? Well, as president of the school, l do a lot of extracurricular activities as well as volunteer work.
-ln fact -Right.
Johnny, refresh my memory here.
Wasn't there a lovely young woman from California University that everyone liked? Yes, a remarkable young woman.
Clare Arnold.
Only child of the Chancellor, Clare was educated on three continents, maintains a perfect 4.
0 grade average and boasts a radiant blend of physical beauty and cosmopolitan street smarts that can only be described as that certain ''je ne sais quoi.
'' Yeah.
Clare Arnold.
l really liked her.
So, how did we end up with this clown? Just remember, you gotta wait until the light flashes before you hit the button.
Steve, you're killing me.
l'm just trying to psyche you up.
Yeah, l know that.
Don't you think we should hold off on the motivational training till after l pass the written test? Guys, did you know that 90%% of all the applicants will flunk the general knowledge exam? No, Clare.
How did you know that? Have you been sucking up to the show's statistician? Steve, do you always have to be so nasty? l don't know.
l guess Clare brings out the best in me.
lf l could have your attention, please? Would everyone who's trying out today please follow me into the testing area.
Prospective contestants only.
Thank you.
That's us.
No, no, Steve, that's us.
Shall we? -Good luck, Brandon.
-Good luck, Clare.
Thanks, bye.
Hey, Dylan? Want some coffee? No.
Thanks.
Ow! Hey, Dylan, you know, if you wanted me to do anything around here, l can help you out, let me know.
No, don't worry about it.
Really.
Okay.
So, what are you working on, man? Well, l'm helping to write a screenplay with some guy l met in rehab.
What you you two guys work separately and then compare notes, is that it? l make my notes, he makes his and then l take them over to him.
He's got this office over at a motel.
We kind of Oh, the motel where Andrea was, right? Yeah, l'm, uh, sorry.
Forget l said that.
Okay, you know, but only, on the day you caught her, where Hey, l didn't catch her.
Whatever the word is.
What did she say? What could she say? Jesse, what was our agreement about this? l'm not asking you to take sides, but l gotta know what happened.
Oh, what, you want the details? -Yeah.
-Okay, man, but it wasn't pretty.
Look, there were chains, there were whips, there was a clown outfit, purple fright wigs were involved, there were two dwarfs in attendance, one wearing scuba gear.
Look, l got video, l got Polaroids.
What do you want to see first? They teach us to think like that in law school.
You know, you get the evidence, you get an indictment.
Well, stop it, 'cause you're torturing yourself.
l know.
Worse than that, you're torturing me.
Okay.
l get the picture.
Not another word.
Promise.
Hey, Dylan? Do you got any decaf? Sorry about that phone call from my father yesterday.
Oh, that's all right.
You know, he and Steve should start a support group for people that blow things out of proportion.
l know, l mean, to them it's like we're competing with each other or something.
-lt's ridiculous.
-Obnoxious.
lt's like they've forgotten that Jeopardy! is a game.
l mean, you know how much fun it is to sit at home and compete against the other contestants.
Absolutely.
l mean, the odds are that neither one of us will be one of the students they pick to be on the show.
Well, l don't agree with that at all.
Why not? Well, for one thing, it's statistically invalid.
When you eliminate all the lamebrains that are here and factor in such variables as, uh, wit and, uh, charm, l think l have a great chance of getting on the show.
ls that so? -Yeah.
-Good day, ladies and gentlemen, this is Alex Trebek, welcoming you all to the College Championship contestant test.
Here is your first one.
The category is Famous Quotes.
And the answer is: Are you looking at my answer sheet? And why would l do that? l don't know, beats me.
Next category is Sports.
The answer is: ''ln 1977, baseball's American League ''expanded to 14 teams, including the Toronto Blue Jays and this team.
'' l really admire your stamina.
Even at your age, l don't think l could have managed school and the Peach Pit After Dark.
Well, it really doesn't take much of my time anymore.
l mean the club basically runs itself.
No kidding? Yeah, l mean, the word of mouth is great, and the promotion, l haven't spent a dime in two weeks.
Jim and l just have to come down.
l mean, we love to dance.
Wouldn't that be fun? Hmm.
Andrea! Long time no see.
-Come on sit down, join us.
-No, no, that's okay, l'm in a rush, l Cindy l was hoping maybe you could watch Hannah for a couple hours.
You know l would, but my last tutorial meets today.
lt's gonna be meeting straight through dinner.
ls everything all right? Yeah, you know, l'm-l'm just in a bind.
lf it's really important, l can watch her.
l have nothing to do for the rest of the day.
Cindy, tell her tell her how great l am with kids.
l mean, l basically raised my little sister.
l can vouch for that.
Well all right, if you're sure? Yeah, l love kids.
Great.
Where will you be so l can come pick her up later? Uh, well, l do have to go to the club.
Why don't you just come by when you're finished? Okay.
Okay.
lt's all right.
-Well, this is everything she needs.
-Okay.
Steve, great news.
They released everyone an hour ago that didn't pass the written exam.
What've they been doing in there all this time? Playing practice rounds for the contestant coordinators.
Uh-huh.
This is where they're gonna separate the cream from the buttermilk.
What have you got against Clare? l just don't like the way she broke up with David that's all.
Hey, that was a mutual thing and you know it.
Eh.
Look, Clare is a great person.
Besides, if she and Brandon can get along, l don't understand why we can't be here without being at each other's throats.
Clare, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna go to the producers? Tell them l'm a cheater? -Tell them l should be disqualified? -No, Brandon.
l'm not an informer, all right? -But l know what l saw.
-What you saw? For you to insinuate that l was looking at your test is unbelievably bogus.
Bogus? No, what's bogus was that lame answer you gave in Double Jeopardy! Well, at least it got a laugh out of the producers, which is more than l can say for you saying the question in French.
No, she didn't? Ah, but she did.
For she is Clare.
She is a pretentious, coldhearted ''beech.
'' Brandon! Look, let's settle this once and for all.
You and me, one-on-one, the home game of Jeopardy!, winner takes all.
Losers takes themselves out of consideration for the tournament.
Name the time, name the place-- l'll be there.
-l bet you will.
-Mm-hmm.
Sacre bleu.
Where did you steal that? l didn't steal her.
lt's Hannah.
l'm babysitting.
Wait a minute, An-Andrea left you with Hannah? She really must be in a bind.
This is not a good idea.
Why, l just came by to see if l could arouse your parental instincts, or anything else that's up for being aroused.
Hey, Dylan-- oh.
Sorry, l'll leave you-- Wha-what's Hannah doing here? Where's Andrea? Uh, l don't know, she had to rush off somewhere.
Oh, to see Peter maybe? -Who's Peter? -Jess, you're jumping to conclusions.
Let me get this straight; Andrea left the baby with somebody she barely knows and just took off? -Wait, l didn't say that.
-Oh, so you do know where she is? -Am l on trial here? -Jess, you said you were not going to put me in the middle of this.
That was before Andrea deserted our baby to go play doctor with some little doctor friend of hers.
-W-What are you talking about? -Mellow out.
Sorry, l forgot.
You guys are Andrea's friends, right? Not mine.
Okay, man, look, l think you better just go.
You know something? l think you're right.
Come on, sweetie, let's go to Grandma's.
-All right? -Bye, sweetie.
Tell Andrea that l'm at my parents' house.
l think she's got the number.
Oh, and so much for not taking sides, right? And now let's begin the Jeopardy! grudge match.
Hmm.
History for $100,please, Alex.
-Excellent choice, Brando.
-Thank you.
''Balkan city in which the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne was assassinated in 1914, setting off World War l?'' That would be Brandon.
Sarajevo.
-What is Sarajevo? -Correct.
Wait a second, that was not in the form of a question.
-He corrected himself.
-l know.
l'm just saying it merits a warning.
What's going on? lt's a grudge match between Brandon and Clare to decide which of them is more infantile.
lt just needs a warning, that's all.
Can we just play the game, please? How about History for $200? They're playing Jeopardy! This is my favorite game.
l sent in a card so l could be on the show.
Did they respond? -Uh-huh, they did.
-''same velocity.
'' Clare.
-Brandon.
-Clare.
You call that a history question? l'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Brandon.
Uh, have you seen Valerie? -No, l haven't seen her.
-l guess l'm early.
l'll just just hang out and watch.
Don't call me ''she'' when l'm sitting right in front of you.
Well, maybe she should just answer the questions and Excuse me.
Brandon, Clare, aren't there usually three players? Yeah, technically.
Kelly, this is a grudge match up here.
Yeah, l know, but l have an idea.
Since you guys just started, why don't you drop this macho grudge-match posturing and test your skills against a quality player like Andrea? What did you say? l said you're a player and you ought to be playing.
Yeah, sure, we could start over.
Fine by me.
Who is Mary Shelley? Who is Walter Cronkite? What is the lnternet? What is calculus? What is onomatopoeia? Once again, correct, Andrea.
Uh, Literature for $1 ,000.
''19th century American author renowned ''for stories in which poor boys become rich through honesty and hard work?'' Yeah, Brandon.
l have no idea.
l just wanted to ring in first for once.
Oh, that'll cost you.
Andrea.
Who is Horatio Alger? Once again, that is correct.
And ladies and gentlemen, we're back with the final round of Jeopardy! after your host-- me-- goes to the bathroom and pukes.
Good job.
Thank you.
l'm so excited.
Hey, Andrea, can l talk to you for a second? Yeah, sure.
Do you realize we were just trounced by a housewife? Yeah, this is one of those moments that scars you for life.
Well, at least l beat someone.
Not that it matters.
Then he was giving me the third degree about how l ended up with Hannah.
You didn't tell him anything, did you? Well, what was l supposed to tell him? l mean, l think l'm the only one around here who doesn't know that you two are in the middle of a custody battle.
ls that what he called it? Well, he was talking like a lawyer.
Did he say where he was going to take her? Your mother-in-law's house.
You know, chief, seeing as you beat us both l'm sorry, l have to go.
What'd you say to her? l just told her that l thought Jesse was going to file for divorce.
Why does it matter where l was? -Why do you think? -l told you it's over.
Oh, oh, so now there's some other mystery destination l can't know about, is that it? l'm not going to stand here and be interrogated by you.
Well, look, it wouldn't feel like an interrogation if you would simply answer the questions! All right, you want to know where l was? l went to see a lawyer.
Are you happy? Wait, you already have a lawyer? Yes, because l know exactly how your mind works.
You went to the lawyer.
That's your mind.
Don't pin that on me.
Then don't play Mr.
lnnocent with me.
l was worried that you were going to try to build a case so you can go and get custody of our daughter, Hannah, and then when l spoke to Valerie l saw that is exactly what you were trying to do.
l asked Valerie where you were, which l think, under the circumstances, was a fairly reasonable line of questioning.
No, it's not reasonable.
l told you l am not seeing Peter anymore.
lt's over and it's over with us.
Now, l want my daughter back and l want her back tomorrow.
-Look, l'm -Get out! Andrea Get out.
Fine.
Fine, fine.
Hello? Oh, hi, Chancellor Arnold.
No, l was just expecting my boyfriend to call.
He's out of town, which which reminds me, Clare is out, too.
No, l honestly don't know how she did at the audition today because l haven't talked to her.
l sure will.
Okay, bye-bye now.
Okay, l'm serious now.
lf l hear one more Jeopardy! pep talk from this man Oh, l think it's cute.
l think he's obsessed.
And l think it runs in the family.
The way you were with Brandon after the tryouts and at the grudge match, l've never seen you act that way before.
l know.
l'm just under a lot of pressure right now.
Because of College Jeopardy!? l guess.
l don't know.
l don't know what's wrong with me lately.
Well, why don't you give it a rest and think about something else for a while? Yeah.
And here are the categories.
We start you off with Minnesota Studs.
Next we have l'll take Minnesota Studs for $1 ,000.
The answer is: ''He and his fiery twin sister'' Clare? -Who is Brandon Walsh? -That's right.
You retain control of the board, so pick again.
Okay, l'll take Walshes for $1 ,000.
Answer: ''This Walsh, one of America's''-- Clare? -Who is Brandon Walsh? -That's right.
-Whoo.
-Another $1 ,000 for you.
And that sound means you're out of Double Jeopardy! And Clare winds up with $52,000.
Johnny, tell her what she's won.
Well, Clare, you have won your very own Brandon Walsh.
With movable limbs and comb-able hair, this Brandon comes complete with his very own Mustang and will provide hours of fun.
Excuse me, Alex.
-Chancellor? -l don't mean to be a problem here, but l need Brandon to take care of some important university business far, far away.
-l see.
-Anyway, the fact is: she prefers guys who speak French anyway.
-Daddy.
-She does? Well, then, she's in luck.
Gaston, come on over here.
Viens ici.
Oh, hey, Brand.
Hi.
Did l wake you up? No, l've been up pretty much all night.
Come on in, have some coffee.
Good, l got bagels, l got lox, l got cream cheese, l got lemon wedges and those funny little green things Capers.
Capers, yeah, right.
lt's just sort of my way of saying thanks.
For what? For saving me and Clare from ourselves.
We turned an ordinary Jeopardy! rivalry into Mortal Kombat, but after yesterday it's clear that you are the person that should be representing C.
U.
Thanks, Brandon, but l l can't.
What are you talking about? You had a great time yesterday.
We've been talking about going on College Jeopardy! forever.
l know, but my life is pretty complicated right now, Brand.
Level with me.
You know my problems with Jesse, right? l know that Jesse's living at Dylan's house, or at least he was.
Brandon, l had an affair.
Was it serious? l was ready to leave Jesse.
That sounds pretty serious.
For me it was, but, uh, Peter-- that's his name-- he didn't feel the same way about it, not at all, and now l can't help but wonder how l could be so clueless about love.
Welcome to the human race.
No.
No, Brandon, this is different.
Pregnant or not, l married Jesse because l really believed that we had something special.
And now it's a year later and we've both cheated.
Jesse, too? He had a one-night stand.
And now all l know for sure is that none of this would have happened if there hadn't been something wrong to begin with.
You know, it's not like Jesse's flawless.
l'm not saying that, but, uh l can't help feel that there is something wrong with me.
l may be out of line saying this, but l'm going to say it anyway.
Ever since high school, you haven't seemed happy.
Somewhere along the line, l just started backing off things.
You know? Yale, the school paper, running for office, even, God forbid, College Jeopardy! l never felt like a failure before, and now, l feel like my life is just such a mess.
Hey, hey, that's not true.
You have a great daughter.
You're a great mother.
You can kick my butt at Jeopardy! without even breaking a sweat.
Andrea you are a remarkable person.
You really are.
Thanks.
l needed to hear that.
Come here.
Thank you.
Hi.
What do you want? Hi.
l'm, uh l'm looking for Kelly.
She's not home yet.
Do you mind if l come in and-and wait for her? You can do whatever you want.
Thanks.
So, uh, how's Donna holding up, with Ray out of town and all? l don't know, David.
Why don't you wait until she gets out of the shower and ask her yourself? What? What did l say? lf you want to see Donna, be my guest.
But don't come here and tell me you want to see Kelly, all right? lt's insulting.
l got to go break some news to my father.
Make yourself at home.
Uh, Donna? Hello? Hey, who's this? This is David.
Who's this? lt's Ray.
ls Donna there? No, Ray.
Donna's in the, uh, shower.
She's in the shower? Yeah.
Can l take a message? David? Yeah, l was just waiting for Kelly.
Hey, is that Donna? Here, it's for you.
Thanks.
Hello? Donna.
Ray.
Uh, where have you been? l've been worried sick about you.
Man, where do l start? My truck broke down, and my gig here got postponed, and then somebody stole one of my amps.
Then l check into the motel and l've got five messages from ''Donald'' with your phone number.
l can't believe that operator.
l even told her how to spell my name.
Anyway, where are you? l'm at a gas station, waiting for my truck.
Look, l can't really talk that long.
l just wanted to run an idea by you.
What? Hang on! Sorry.
Anyway, l'm going to be in Portland for spring break, and l was wondering if maybe you wanted to come and, uh, visit me.
Oh, my God, of course.
l thought you'd never ask.
Great.
All right, well, l'll call you later, Donald.
l promise.
-Bye.
-Bye.
l am so relieved.
l mean, you know how long l've been trying to get a hold of him? l was just l was beginning to think Well, you know, after a while, you just, you start to suspect the worst, and l've got to tell Clare.
Uh, actually, Clare left when l got here.
She did.
Yeah.
David, um Look, l l feel really bad about you guys breaking up.
Oh Oh, don't.
lt, uh, it was for the best.
Yeah, but l just l-l feel kind of responsible.
You shouldn't, really.
Oh, l'm glad to hear you say that.
You know, l tried to explain to Clare how we feel about each other.
-You did? -Yeah.
l told her we were just good friends, and there was absolutely no romantic thing happening between us whatsoever anymore.
l mean, especially since, you know, how much l love Ray.
-Yeah.
-Oh, guess what? Ray invited me to come to Portland and visit him during spring break.
Really, that's, uh, that's funny 'cause well, l was gonna go to Portland and-and visit my mother during spring break.
So maybe, uh, maybe while l'm out there, we can, uh, hook up or something.
l can't believe l let you talk me into this.
Sure you can.
l barely had to twist your arm.
Now l'll be back to pick you up in a couple of hours.
Okay? That's not really what No buts about it, all right? Except for the ones you're gonna kick in there.
Oh, right.
Sit yourself down, got get 'em.
Okay, thank you.
-Good luck.
-Thank you.
So what did your dad say when you told him you were bailing out.
Have you ever actually seen a Nobel Prize winner cry? You know, this could've been us, my little chickadee.
Yeah, it could've been us.
Hi.
l managed to forget Hannah's diaper bag when l left yesterday.
Yeah.
lt's right here.
Thanks.
Look, however you feel about me Jesse, l barely know you.
Be that as it may, you might as well tell me what you know about Andrea's affair.
This is ridiculous.
lt is not ridiculous.
Andrea's hired a lawyer, so it's just a matter of time before your subpoenaed.
Subpoenaed? For what? Your divorce proceedings? ls that what you want? l'll have to protect myself.
No, no, no, no.
See, this is where you lawyers mess up the world.
See, you're so busy protecting yourself, you didn't stop for one second to ask, ''What is it l want? What is it she really wants?'' Well, obviously, she wants a divorce.
Well, did she say that? Or have you just been so busy building up your case, that you forgot that the real objective here is for you guys to work this thing out, man.
You're married; you gotta get it back together.
lf not for yourself do it for Hannah.
l have no idea how things got so out of hand.
However they did, it's your life; you got to fix it.
Yeah, see ya.
Here we go.
Today's Final Jeopardy! is: Who was Thomas Jefferson? Going to move down the line to start with you, Kurt.
Did you have the right U.
S.
President? ''Who was Jefferson?'' How did Barbie know that, sweetheart? History's Barbie's favorite subject, Grandma.
Come here.
Now we move to the lady next to you Now you listen to me.
You tell Barbie she can do anything she puts her mind to.
Anything? Anything, bubee.
And don't you ever let anyone tell her differently.
All right, that gives you $6,000.
And now we go to our returning champion Good day, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Alex Trebek welcoming you all to the College Championship contestant test.
Yeah, it was nice meeting you.
Andrea.
Hannah insisted we come down here and bring you luck.
So, uh, you know Well, l think it worked.
l think, l, uh l think l may have aced that test.
No doubt of that.
Um l don't know what to say.
You know, things seemed to have snowballed so out of control l know.
And l agree.
Andrea All l do know right now is that l love you.
l love our daughter.
And l really, really want to come home.
Oh, Jesse.
l love you.
By the way, ladies and gentlemen, for those of you Clare, this is so exciting.
Don't you wish you'd gone? Maybe next time.
Yeah, Daddy, maybe next time.
Bran, speaking of next time Steve, no offense, but if there is a next time l think l'd rather be coached by the champ here.
You don't know whether l won or not.
lt was worth a shot.
Andrea, this is killing me.
Did you win or lose? My lips are sealed.
And so are Hannah's.
Well, that makes no difference.
Dinner's on the house no matter who wins.
Hey, turn up the sound.
Let's take a look at the answer.
Good luck, players.
''ln 1860, this state capital became the western terminus of the Pony Express.
'' l know this one.
l know this one.
What is Sacramento.
No, no, no, that's not it.
Eric? -What is Sacramento? -Yes.
State Capitals for $300.
''South Dakota's'' How'd you know that? He's always been like this.
And Brenda, too.
Their father, on the other hand Hey, hey, don't rub it in.
Answer: You can get this one, Dad.
Who's Orlando Magic? Good job.
Anyone? The correct response is, What is the Orlando Magic? You are amazing.
You know, Kelly, if your friend was really so smart, he'd get himself down to Culver City and try and get on the Jeopardy! College Championship they've been talking about all week.
He should.
Well, l am.
You are? You're going to be on College Jeopardy!? Well, first, l have to be picked, but they gave me a time to try out, so that's a start.
That's so exciting.
Yeah, it should be fun.
Although, it's still a long shot.
l don't think it's such a long shot.
l don't think it is, either.
After all, you're a great player.
You also happen to be the Student Body President of California University.
A very handsome student body president, l might add.
Mom, l don't think they care which way l comb my hair.
Trust me, looks counts for something.
And if it doesn't, it should.
Did you know Alex Trebek is one of the best-dressed men in Hollywood? l think l'm going to try out for Wheel of Fortune instead.
Hey, where are you going? They haven't even done Final Jeopardy! yet.
l'm gonna go call Zuckerman.
We sent our postcards in at the same time.
l want to see if they called her, too.
Brandon and Andrea have been talking about being on Jeopardy! since they were in high school.
Neat.
Excuse me, but l have to go talk to Brandon.
What are you doing? Uh, this isn't a very good time to talk to Andrea about this.
Okay.
Why not? l can't say.
l promised.
Kelly, when one half of a couple promises not to tell, it is assumed that the other half of the couple is exempt from said promise.
All right.
She had an affair.
-Andrea had an affair? -Yeah.
She says it's over, but the damage is done.
So l guess being on a game show isn't really high on her list of priorities right about now.
Mm, l tend to doubt it.
lf you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
lf you need lt's just all a waste of time and money! Sure, if you sit there pouting the whole time.
Excuse me, l answered every question that woman asked me.
Jesse, saying ''l'm sorry, l don't know how l feel,'' is not a productive response.
Well, maybe l don't feel comfortable telling a total stranger what l'm thinking about.
Jesse, um what are you thinking? l mean, no one's here, we're all alone.
What are you thinking? Andrea Andrea you're just not the girl l fell in love with anymore.
The girl l fell in love with was-was self-confident, she was driven, she was decisive, she was going some place.
Well, she got pregnant.
She had to get married, raise a child and go to school.
Unless, of course, you thought that Hannah should have raised herself.
Just forget it.
Let's just drop it, all right? You know, l didn't become a mother and a housewife on my own.
You were involved, too.
So don't hold me accountable for the decisions we made together.
l don't remember being consulted about Peter.
Well, look, l-l better go pick up Hannah at Mom's.
Jesse, you can't just say something like that to me and walk out.
lt's not fair.
What is fair, Andrea? Hmm? Okay, this Haitian language is a mixture of French and African dialects.
What is patois? No.
That's not the right answer? lt doesn't matter.
lt doesn't count unless you hit the buzzer the moment after Alex reads the answer.
What buzzer? Oh.
Look, if you're planning on taking home some loot, you got to concentrate, and reaction time is everything, buddy.
Funny.
l thought knowing the right answers was everything.
-Brandon, you got -Steve, don't l have to become a contestant before l can win any loot? Hey, guys.
What are you doing? Brandon's training for College Jeopardy! Really? Good luck.
l hear, the competition to get on there is going to be pretty brutal.
Uh, l'm not worried about it.
l think Brandon can go one-on-one with anyone from any school in the country.
Hmm.
Problem is, they usually only pick one person from each college.
Yeah.
So? So my hunch is, l'm going to be that person.
You're trying out for College Jeopardy!, too? Yeah, it's, uh, something l've always really wanted to do.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Well, l'm afraid at least one of us is going to be disappointed.
Well, you know what they say, ''Que le meilleur gagne.
'' Ganja? What? What? What does that mean? lt means, ''Good luck, sucker.
'' Ciao.
She was just trying to psyche you out.
She was not! Look, Clare happens to be a very good player.
ln fact, she spends hours playing every night on her computer.
-So? -So? So she answers all the questions in French.
Ha.
Well, good luck in the tournament.
Boys.
Hey, tell Clare not to get her hopes up.
-We've got some work to do.
-Yeah.
Okay.
What do you? Hi, guys! Come on in.
Look, Kelly, Daddy's home.
Yeah, l can see that, sweetie.
Uh, what's-what's going on here? Take a wild guess.
Yeah, a really wild guess.
The wilder the better.
Um, honey, why don't you go get your coat on, okay? And-And we'll just go, um We'll just go.
How weird was that? Weird.
That was that was definitely one for ''The X Files.
'' They looked so happy.
lt was disgusting, wasn't it? lt must be nice for Erin.
l mean, when l was little, all l wanted was for Mommy and Daddy to get back together.
You know, l-l can't believe that, uh Jackie forgave my dad for all that.
l mean, that's l wouldn't blame her if she never did.
l just l Could you ever do that? Could you ever forgive somebody for something like that? l don't know.
Mm, it would depend on a lot of things, like how remorseful the person was, or how much l loved them.
Hmm.
l think l could.
l'm not sure.
l wish l could be forgiven.
What are you talking about? You never cheated on Clare, did you? No, l wasn't talking about Clare.
l was l was talking about Donna.
Hi, everyone, and welcome to Jeopardy! No, l'm not Ray Pruit.
l want to leave a message for him.
Here we go, round one.
Well, when he checks in, will you just tell him Donna called, please? No, not Donald! Donna! D-O-N-N-A.
Yes.
Thank you.
He was supposed to check in last night.
Ray's a big boy.
He can take care of himself.
Or is that the problem-- that he's a big boy? What if, you know, out of sight, out of mind? Not a chance.
l hope you're right.
Hey, look at it this way.
lf, um, you and Ray do break up, you always have David waiting in the wings.
Clare, l told you.
David and l are just good friends.
Yeah, l know, l know.
l'm not blaming you for anything.
David and l had five months together, which is about five months longer than l've had with anyone else, so So, are-are you guys both cool with it being over? Yeah.
Yeah.
l think we'll probably end up good friends.
Eventually.
lf we ever start talking again.
Hmm.
Maybe it's Ray.
Hello? lt's for you.
Oh.
Hello? Clare, guess who's sitting right in front of me? l have no idea.
Well, he's a friend of yours.
He's president of the student body, and l'm afraid he's a bit delusional about College Jeopardy! Daddy.
Please, don't embarrass me here.
Clare asked me to remind you that she's fluent in five languages.
Yeah.
Don't do this to me, please.
Why are you doing this? She says the only way you'll win is if the category is funny haircuts.
Huh.
Dad, tell him that you're the one saying that now, please.
Oh, sorry, darling, got to go.
Tell him that it's not me Dad what l was just having a little fun at your expense.
Yeah, l kind of got that, sir.
l'm sure you'll do brilliantly tomorrow.
And as Clare says, ''Que le meilleur gagne.
'' Yes? Howard! Thanks for calling me back Jesse.
You okay? You don't look so good.
Thanks.
You want some soup? Coffee.
l need coffee.
Coffee.
Sounds like something l don't even want to get into.
Trust me, you don't.
Married life can really take it out of you.
l can imagine.
Thanks.
Can l, uh, get you anything? No.
l, uh, think l'm going to finish this chapter, and then head out.
Okay.
Good.
The fact is, Andrea and l aren't doing so great right now.
Honestly don't know if we're going to make it.
l'm really sorry to hear that, man.
You don't have to put on an act on my account, Dylan.
Andrea told me you saw her go into that motel.
You wouldn't believe the last few days.
Every word we say drives the other one nuts.
And l had to move out, just to preserve our sanity.
l really am sorry to hear that.
Yeah, me, too.
So, what are you going to do? l don't know.
l can't stay at my folks' house.
They'd die if they knew what was going on.
My best friend just had a kid, so that boat's full.
The whole idea of getting my own apartment's completely out of the question.
We can barely afford the one we have now.
Look, Jess, if you're stuck or something, man, l could Oh, man, thanks.
l was hoping you'd say that.
lt'll only be for a couple of nights, l promise.
l could make you a loan was what l was gonna say.
You won't even know l'm there.
Don't put me in the middle -of this thing, Jesse.
-l promise.
l won't even mention her name, not once.
That's not the point.
lf l let you stay, it's like l'm choosing sides -against her and -Look, if Andrea and l don't get some time apart, man, we're gonna fall apart.
So, so, actually you'd be doing Andrea a favor by letting me move in with you.
Huh? All right.
A couple of days.
That's great.
And like l said, you know what? You won't even know l'm there.
All right.
Quiet as a mouse.
and l like to translate German technical manuals in my spare time.
That's just great.
And last but not least, we have Brandon Walsh from California University.
Brandon is the Student Body President with an undeclared major and a grade point average of Whoa.
Can we stop tape for a moment, please? -Johnny? -Yes, Alex.
ls something wrong? Well, it says here that Brandon's grade point average is 3.
2.
-That's all? -Yeah.
What's the sense of having a screening process if this is what we're gonna end up with? l'll have the contestant coordinators taken out -and shot, Alex.
-Ah, never mind.
Let's go on.
Um, all right, Brandon, how do you explain your feeble grade point average? Well, as president of the school, l do a lot of extracurricular activities as well as volunteer work.
-ln fact -Right.
Johnny, refresh my memory here.
Wasn't there a lovely young woman from California University that everyone liked? Yes, a remarkable young woman.
Clare Arnold.
Only child of the Chancellor, Clare was educated on three continents, maintains a perfect 4.
0 grade average and boasts a radiant blend of physical beauty and cosmopolitan street smarts that can only be described as that certain ''je ne sais quoi.
'' Yeah.
Clare Arnold.
l really liked her.
So, how did we end up with this clown? Just remember, you gotta wait until the light flashes before you hit the button.
Steve, you're killing me.
l'm just trying to psyche you up.
Yeah, l know that.
Don't you think we should hold off on the motivational training till after l pass the written test? Guys, did you know that 90%% of all the applicants will flunk the general knowledge exam? No, Clare.
How did you know that? Have you been sucking up to the show's statistician? Steve, do you always have to be so nasty? l don't know.
l guess Clare brings out the best in me.
lf l could have your attention, please? Would everyone who's trying out today please follow me into the testing area.
Prospective contestants only.
Thank you.
That's us.
No, no, Steve, that's us.
Shall we? -Good luck, Brandon.
-Good luck, Clare.
Thanks, bye.
Hey, Dylan? Want some coffee? No.
Thanks.
Ow! Hey, Dylan, you know, if you wanted me to do anything around here, l can help you out, let me know.
No, don't worry about it.
Really.
Okay.
So, what are you working on, man? Well, l'm helping to write a screenplay with some guy l met in rehab.
What you you two guys work separately and then compare notes, is that it? l make my notes, he makes his and then l take them over to him.
He's got this office over at a motel.
We kind of Oh, the motel where Andrea was, right? Yeah, l'm, uh, sorry.
Forget l said that.
Okay, you know, but only, on the day you caught her, where Hey, l didn't catch her.
Whatever the word is.
What did she say? What could she say? Jesse, what was our agreement about this? l'm not asking you to take sides, but l gotta know what happened.
Oh, what, you want the details? -Yeah.
-Okay, man, but it wasn't pretty.
Look, there were chains, there were whips, there was a clown outfit, purple fright wigs were involved, there were two dwarfs in attendance, one wearing scuba gear.
Look, l got video, l got Polaroids.
What do you want to see first? They teach us to think like that in law school.
You know, you get the evidence, you get an indictment.
Well, stop it, 'cause you're torturing yourself.
l know.
Worse than that, you're torturing me.
Okay.
l get the picture.
Not another word.
Promise.
Hey, Dylan? Do you got any decaf? Sorry about that phone call from my father yesterday.
Oh, that's all right.
You know, he and Steve should start a support group for people that blow things out of proportion.
l know, l mean, to them it's like we're competing with each other or something.
-lt's ridiculous.
-Obnoxious.
lt's like they've forgotten that Jeopardy! is a game.
l mean, you know how much fun it is to sit at home and compete against the other contestants.
Absolutely.
l mean, the odds are that neither one of us will be one of the students they pick to be on the show.
Well, l don't agree with that at all.
Why not? Well, for one thing, it's statistically invalid.
When you eliminate all the lamebrains that are here and factor in such variables as, uh, wit and, uh, charm, l think l have a great chance of getting on the show.
ls that so? -Yeah.
-Good day, ladies and gentlemen, this is Alex Trebek, welcoming you all to the College Championship contestant test.
Here is your first one.
The category is Famous Quotes.
And the answer is: Are you looking at my answer sheet? And why would l do that? l don't know, beats me.
Next category is Sports.
The answer is: ''ln 1977, baseball's American League ''expanded to 14 teams, including the Toronto Blue Jays and this team.
'' l really admire your stamina.
Even at your age, l don't think l could have managed school and the Peach Pit After Dark.
Well, it really doesn't take much of my time anymore.
l mean the club basically runs itself.
No kidding? Yeah, l mean, the word of mouth is great, and the promotion, l haven't spent a dime in two weeks.
Jim and l just have to come down.
l mean, we love to dance.
Wouldn't that be fun? Hmm.
Andrea! Long time no see.
-Come on sit down, join us.
-No, no, that's okay, l'm in a rush, l Cindy l was hoping maybe you could watch Hannah for a couple hours.
You know l would, but my last tutorial meets today.
lt's gonna be meeting straight through dinner.
ls everything all right? Yeah, you know, l'm-l'm just in a bind.
lf it's really important, l can watch her.
l have nothing to do for the rest of the day.
Cindy, tell her tell her how great l am with kids.
l mean, l basically raised my little sister.
l can vouch for that.
Well all right, if you're sure? Yeah, l love kids.
Great.
Where will you be so l can come pick her up later? Uh, well, l do have to go to the club.
Why don't you just come by when you're finished? Okay.
Okay.
lt's all right.
-Well, this is everything she needs.
-Okay.
Steve, great news.
They released everyone an hour ago that didn't pass the written exam.
What've they been doing in there all this time? Playing practice rounds for the contestant coordinators.
Uh-huh.
This is where they're gonna separate the cream from the buttermilk.
What have you got against Clare? l just don't like the way she broke up with David that's all.
Hey, that was a mutual thing and you know it.
Eh.
Look, Clare is a great person.
Besides, if she and Brandon can get along, l don't understand why we can't be here without being at each other's throats.
Clare, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna go to the producers? Tell them l'm a cheater? -Tell them l should be disqualified? -No, Brandon.
l'm not an informer, all right? -But l know what l saw.
-What you saw? For you to insinuate that l was looking at your test is unbelievably bogus.
Bogus? No, what's bogus was that lame answer you gave in Double Jeopardy! Well, at least it got a laugh out of the producers, which is more than l can say for you saying the question in French.
No, she didn't? Ah, but she did.
For she is Clare.
She is a pretentious, coldhearted ''beech.
'' Brandon! Look, let's settle this once and for all.
You and me, one-on-one, the home game of Jeopardy!, winner takes all.
Losers takes themselves out of consideration for the tournament.
Name the time, name the place-- l'll be there.
-l bet you will.
-Mm-hmm.
Sacre bleu.
Where did you steal that? l didn't steal her.
lt's Hannah.
l'm babysitting.
Wait a minute, An-Andrea left you with Hannah? She really must be in a bind.
This is not a good idea.
Why, l just came by to see if l could arouse your parental instincts, or anything else that's up for being aroused.
Hey, Dylan-- oh.
Sorry, l'll leave you-- Wha-what's Hannah doing here? Where's Andrea? Uh, l don't know, she had to rush off somewhere.
Oh, to see Peter maybe? -Who's Peter? -Jess, you're jumping to conclusions.
Let me get this straight; Andrea left the baby with somebody she barely knows and just took off? -Wait, l didn't say that.
-Oh, so you do know where she is? -Am l on trial here? -Jess, you said you were not going to put me in the middle of this.
That was before Andrea deserted our baby to go play doctor with some little doctor friend of hers.
-W-What are you talking about? -Mellow out.
Sorry, l forgot.
You guys are Andrea's friends, right? Not mine.
Okay, man, look, l think you better just go.
You know something? l think you're right.
Come on, sweetie, let's go to Grandma's.
-All right? -Bye, sweetie.
Tell Andrea that l'm at my parents' house.
l think she's got the number.
Oh, and so much for not taking sides, right? And now let's begin the Jeopardy! grudge match.
Hmm.
History for $100,please, Alex.
-Excellent choice, Brando.
-Thank you.
''Balkan city in which the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne was assassinated in 1914, setting off World War l?'' That would be Brandon.
Sarajevo.
-What is Sarajevo? -Correct.
Wait a second, that was not in the form of a question.
-He corrected himself.
-l know.
l'm just saying it merits a warning.
What's going on? lt's a grudge match between Brandon and Clare to decide which of them is more infantile.
lt just needs a warning, that's all.
Can we just play the game, please? How about History for $200? They're playing Jeopardy! This is my favorite game.
l sent in a card so l could be on the show.
Did they respond? -Uh-huh, they did.
-''same velocity.
'' Clare.
-Brandon.
-Clare.
You call that a history question? l'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Brandon.
Uh, have you seen Valerie? -No, l haven't seen her.
-l guess l'm early.
l'll just just hang out and watch.
Don't call me ''she'' when l'm sitting right in front of you.
Well, maybe she should just answer the questions and Excuse me.
Brandon, Clare, aren't there usually three players? Yeah, technically.
Kelly, this is a grudge match up here.
Yeah, l know, but l have an idea.
Since you guys just started, why don't you drop this macho grudge-match posturing and test your skills against a quality player like Andrea? What did you say? l said you're a player and you ought to be playing.
Yeah, sure, we could start over.
Fine by me.
Who is Mary Shelley? Who is Walter Cronkite? What is the lnternet? What is calculus? What is onomatopoeia? Once again, correct, Andrea.
Uh, Literature for $1 ,000.
''19th century American author renowned ''for stories in which poor boys become rich through honesty and hard work?'' Yeah, Brandon.
l have no idea.
l just wanted to ring in first for once.
Oh, that'll cost you.
Andrea.
Who is Horatio Alger? Once again, that is correct.
And ladies and gentlemen, we're back with the final round of Jeopardy! after your host-- me-- goes to the bathroom and pukes.
Good job.
Thank you.
l'm so excited.
Hey, Andrea, can l talk to you for a second? Yeah, sure.
Do you realize we were just trounced by a housewife? Yeah, this is one of those moments that scars you for life.
Well, at least l beat someone.
Not that it matters.
Then he was giving me the third degree about how l ended up with Hannah.
You didn't tell him anything, did you? Well, what was l supposed to tell him? l mean, l think l'm the only one around here who doesn't know that you two are in the middle of a custody battle.
ls that what he called it? Well, he was talking like a lawyer.
Did he say where he was going to take her? Your mother-in-law's house.
You know, chief, seeing as you beat us both l'm sorry, l have to go.
What'd you say to her? l just told her that l thought Jesse was going to file for divorce.
Why does it matter where l was? -Why do you think? -l told you it's over.
Oh, oh, so now there's some other mystery destination l can't know about, is that it? l'm not going to stand here and be interrogated by you.
Well, look, it wouldn't feel like an interrogation if you would simply answer the questions! All right, you want to know where l was? l went to see a lawyer.
Are you happy? Wait, you already have a lawyer? Yes, because l know exactly how your mind works.
You went to the lawyer.
That's your mind.
Don't pin that on me.
Then don't play Mr.
lnnocent with me.
l was worried that you were going to try to build a case so you can go and get custody of our daughter, Hannah, and then when l spoke to Valerie l saw that is exactly what you were trying to do.
l asked Valerie where you were, which l think, under the circumstances, was a fairly reasonable line of questioning.
No, it's not reasonable.
l told you l am not seeing Peter anymore.
lt's over and it's over with us.
Now, l want my daughter back and l want her back tomorrow.
-Look, l'm -Get out! Andrea Get out.
Fine.
Fine, fine.
Hello? Oh, hi, Chancellor Arnold.
No, l was just expecting my boyfriend to call.
He's out of town, which which reminds me, Clare is out, too.
No, l honestly don't know how she did at the audition today because l haven't talked to her.
l sure will.
Okay, bye-bye now.
Okay, l'm serious now.
lf l hear one more Jeopardy! pep talk from this man Oh, l think it's cute.
l think he's obsessed.
And l think it runs in the family.
The way you were with Brandon after the tryouts and at the grudge match, l've never seen you act that way before.
l know.
l'm just under a lot of pressure right now.
Because of College Jeopardy!? l guess.
l don't know.
l don't know what's wrong with me lately.
Well, why don't you give it a rest and think about something else for a while? Yeah.
And here are the categories.
We start you off with Minnesota Studs.
Next we have l'll take Minnesota Studs for $1 ,000.
The answer is: ''He and his fiery twin sister'' Clare? -Who is Brandon Walsh? -That's right.
You retain control of the board, so pick again.
Okay, l'll take Walshes for $1 ,000.
Answer: ''This Walsh, one of America's''-- Clare? -Who is Brandon Walsh? -That's right.
-Whoo.
-Another $1 ,000 for you.
And that sound means you're out of Double Jeopardy! And Clare winds up with $52,000.
Johnny, tell her what she's won.
Well, Clare, you have won your very own Brandon Walsh.
With movable limbs and comb-able hair, this Brandon comes complete with his very own Mustang and will provide hours of fun.
Excuse me, Alex.
-Chancellor? -l don't mean to be a problem here, but l need Brandon to take care of some important university business far, far away.
-l see.
-Anyway, the fact is: she prefers guys who speak French anyway.
-Daddy.
-She does? Well, then, she's in luck.
Gaston, come on over here.
Viens ici.
Oh, hey, Brand.
Hi.
Did l wake you up? No, l've been up pretty much all night.
Come on in, have some coffee.
Good, l got bagels, l got lox, l got cream cheese, l got lemon wedges and those funny little green things Capers.
Capers, yeah, right.
lt's just sort of my way of saying thanks.
For what? For saving me and Clare from ourselves.
We turned an ordinary Jeopardy! rivalry into Mortal Kombat, but after yesterday it's clear that you are the person that should be representing C.
U.
Thanks, Brandon, but l l can't.
What are you talking about? You had a great time yesterday.
We've been talking about going on College Jeopardy! forever.
l know, but my life is pretty complicated right now, Brand.
Level with me.
You know my problems with Jesse, right? l know that Jesse's living at Dylan's house, or at least he was.
Brandon, l had an affair.
Was it serious? l was ready to leave Jesse.
That sounds pretty serious.
For me it was, but, uh, Peter-- that's his name-- he didn't feel the same way about it, not at all, and now l can't help but wonder how l could be so clueless about love.
Welcome to the human race.
No.
No, Brandon, this is different.
Pregnant or not, l married Jesse because l really believed that we had something special.
And now it's a year later and we've both cheated.
Jesse, too? He had a one-night stand.
And now all l know for sure is that none of this would have happened if there hadn't been something wrong to begin with.
You know, it's not like Jesse's flawless.
l'm not saying that, but, uh l can't help feel that there is something wrong with me.
l may be out of line saying this, but l'm going to say it anyway.
Ever since high school, you haven't seemed happy.
Somewhere along the line, l just started backing off things.
You know? Yale, the school paper, running for office, even, God forbid, College Jeopardy! l never felt like a failure before, and now, l feel like my life is just such a mess.
Hey, hey, that's not true.
You have a great daughter.
You're a great mother.
You can kick my butt at Jeopardy! without even breaking a sweat.
Andrea you are a remarkable person.
You really are.
Thanks.
l needed to hear that.
Come here.
Thank you.
Hi.
What do you want? Hi.
l'm, uh l'm looking for Kelly.
She's not home yet.
Do you mind if l come in and-and wait for her? You can do whatever you want.
Thanks.
So, uh, how's Donna holding up, with Ray out of town and all? l don't know, David.
Why don't you wait until she gets out of the shower and ask her yourself? What? What did l say? lf you want to see Donna, be my guest.
But don't come here and tell me you want to see Kelly, all right? lt's insulting.
l got to go break some news to my father.
Make yourself at home.
Uh, Donna? Hello? Hey, who's this? This is David.
Who's this? lt's Ray.
ls Donna there? No, Ray.
Donna's in the, uh, shower.
She's in the shower? Yeah.
Can l take a message? David? Yeah, l was just waiting for Kelly.
Hey, is that Donna? Here, it's for you.
Thanks.
Hello? Donna.
Ray.
Uh, where have you been? l've been worried sick about you.
Man, where do l start? My truck broke down, and my gig here got postponed, and then somebody stole one of my amps.
Then l check into the motel and l've got five messages from ''Donald'' with your phone number.
l can't believe that operator.
l even told her how to spell my name.
Anyway, where are you? l'm at a gas station, waiting for my truck.
Look, l can't really talk that long.
l just wanted to run an idea by you.
What? Hang on! Sorry.
Anyway, l'm going to be in Portland for spring break, and l was wondering if maybe you wanted to come and, uh, visit me.
Oh, my God, of course.
l thought you'd never ask.
Great.
All right, well, l'll call you later, Donald.
l promise.
-Bye.
-Bye.
l am so relieved.
l mean, you know how long l've been trying to get a hold of him? l was just l was beginning to think Well, you know, after a while, you just, you start to suspect the worst, and l've got to tell Clare.
Uh, actually, Clare left when l got here.
She did.
Yeah.
David, um Look, l l feel really bad about you guys breaking up.
Oh Oh, don't.
lt, uh, it was for the best.
Yeah, but l just l-l feel kind of responsible.
You shouldn't, really.
Oh, l'm glad to hear you say that.
You know, l tried to explain to Clare how we feel about each other.
-You did? -Yeah.
l told her we were just good friends, and there was absolutely no romantic thing happening between us whatsoever anymore.
l mean, especially since, you know, how much l love Ray.
-Yeah.
-Oh, guess what? Ray invited me to come to Portland and visit him during spring break.
Really, that's, uh, that's funny 'cause well, l was gonna go to Portland and-and visit my mother during spring break.
So maybe, uh, maybe while l'm out there, we can, uh, hook up or something.
l can't believe l let you talk me into this.
Sure you can.
l barely had to twist your arm.
Now l'll be back to pick you up in a couple of hours.
Okay? That's not really what No buts about it, all right? Except for the ones you're gonna kick in there.
Oh, right.
Sit yourself down, got get 'em.
Okay, thank you.
-Good luck.
-Thank you.
So what did your dad say when you told him you were bailing out.
Have you ever actually seen a Nobel Prize winner cry? You know, this could've been us, my little chickadee.
Yeah, it could've been us.
Hi.
l managed to forget Hannah's diaper bag when l left yesterday.
Yeah.
lt's right here.
Thanks.
Look, however you feel about me Jesse, l barely know you.
Be that as it may, you might as well tell me what you know about Andrea's affair.
This is ridiculous.
lt is not ridiculous.
Andrea's hired a lawyer, so it's just a matter of time before your subpoenaed.
Subpoenaed? For what? Your divorce proceedings? ls that what you want? l'll have to protect myself.
No, no, no, no.
See, this is where you lawyers mess up the world.
See, you're so busy protecting yourself, you didn't stop for one second to ask, ''What is it l want? What is it she really wants?'' Well, obviously, she wants a divorce.
Well, did she say that? Or have you just been so busy building up your case, that you forgot that the real objective here is for you guys to work this thing out, man.
You're married; you gotta get it back together.
lf not for yourself do it for Hannah.
l have no idea how things got so out of hand.
However they did, it's your life; you got to fix it.
Yeah, see ya.
Here we go.
Today's Final Jeopardy! is: Who was Thomas Jefferson? Going to move down the line to start with you, Kurt.
Did you have the right U.
S.
President? ''Who was Jefferson?'' How did Barbie know that, sweetheart? History's Barbie's favorite subject, Grandma.
Come here.
Now we move to the lady next to you Now you listen to me.
You tell Barbie she can do anything she puts her mind to.
Anything? Anything, bubee.
And don't you ever let anyone tell her differently.
All right, that gives you $6,000.
And now we go to our returning champion Good day, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Alex Trebek welcoming you all to the College Championship contestant test.
Yeah, it was nice meeting you.
Andrea.
Hannah insisted we come down here and bring you luck.
So, uh, you know Well, l think it worked.
l think, l, uh l think l may have aced that test.
No doubt of that.
Um l don't know what to say.
You know, things seemed to have snowballed so out of control l know.
And l agree.
Andrea All l do know right now is that l love you.
l love our daughter.
And l really, really want to come home.
Oh, Jesse.
l love you.
By the way, ladies and gentlemen, for those of you Clare, this is so exciting.
Don't you wish you'd gone? Maybe next time.
Yeah, Daddy, maybe next time.
Bran, speaking of next time Steve, no offense, but if there is a next time l think l'd rather be coached by the champ here.
You don't know whether l won or not.
lt was worth a shot.
Andrea, this is killing me.
Did you win or lose? My lips are sealed.
And so are Hannah's.
Well, that makes no difference.
Dinner's on the house no matter who wins.
Hey, turn up the sound.
Let's take a look at the answer.
Good luck, players.