Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s06e03 Episode Script
Must Be a Guy Thing
School nights.
The two scariest words in the English language.
Oh, yeah? I got two more for you.
How about "summer's over"? "Classes begin.
" "Pop quiz.
" I don't know.
I always look forward to school starting.
Great teachers, long evenings at the library Long evenings at the library? That's your idea of a fun night? Yeah, well, it is for those of us that can read.
Stop fighting, you two.
Let's enjoy the little time we have left, okay? Why don't we go to the beach, you know? Watch the sun rise or something? Hey, why not? Let's make this a night to remember.
Ah, see, I told you they'd be here.
I think you know everybody except Steve and Colin? - Colin Robbins? - Valerie? You guys know each other? Yeah, we traveled through Europe a couple years ago.
Wow! It's been so long.
I I can't believe it.
Hi.
How are you? Good, how are you? I'm great.
What are you doing here? Uh just hanging out.
McKay? Do my eyes deceive me? do you people do this? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
It's the first day of school, you're on campus.
Could it be you're finally going to do something constructive with your life? N-No, wait, let me guess.
You bought the college.
That's right, I bought the college.
I'm gonna turn it into a nudist colony.
All these people naked as far as the eye can see.
Aren't you late for class or something? You're not going to tell me why you're here? You said you didn't want to hear about it.
Well, now my morbid curiosity is piqued.
What could Tony Marchette and C.
U.
possibly have in common? Well, I'll tell you, Bran, his kid's an underclassman here.
How about that? Shock of shocks he's named after the old man.
Junior's got an 8:00 a.
m.
economics lecture.
I plan to be there.
What are you going to do sidle up to the guy and say, "Hi, I'm Dylan McKay, can I be your friend so I can kill your father?" Something like that.
Where's the economics building? Get a map.
Thanks for the lift, Steve.
No problem.
But next time your car needs an oil change, why don't you ask your old boyfriend? I'm sure he'd be happy to drive you to school.
Steve, I told you Colin and I were kids.
It was a teen tour in Europe.
Nothing ever happened between us.
Ah, unrequited love.
I know it well.
I mean, every time I looked at Colin I got weak in the knees.
I couldn't even sit next to him on the tour bus because I'd stop breathing.
Still carrying a torch? More like an eternal flame.
Or a grease fire.
All right.
Ah, I can see it now.
Valerie and Colin in Europe together, kissing under the Bridge of Sighs in a gondola in Venice.
Hmm, sipping lattes in a café in Paris.
And of course, when in Rome Well, maybe they didn't get to Rome.
Ha! Valerie always gets to Rome, usually by the second date.
Would you two please stop it? I told you I don't care where Colin and Valerie went or what they did.
Tell us you're not jealous.
Yeah, go ahead, lie for the hundredth time.
It was a teen tour.
It was nothing, no big deal, nothing happened.
If you don't believe me, you can ask Colin.
He's going to meet us here for coffee.
He's coming here? Why? He has an old friend in the art department.
And an old friend in the Walsh house.
That's a good one.
Lindstrom, Carl.
What up? Magnuson, Peter.
Here.
Malinowski, Larry.
Here.
Marchette, Toni.
Here.
Robb, Nelson.
Robb, Nelson.
Peters, Jeanette.
Oh, excuse me, I'm Late for class? No, just real happy to get out of that one.
Uh, are you okay? Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something? Uh, no, thank you.
You're sure, I mean, that you're okay and everything? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Okay, well, h-have a good day.
I'm sure I will.
Read this and weep.
You have no classes Mondays and Fridays? That's right.
And nothing before 11:00 the rest of the week? Ah, that four-day weekend I so richly deserve.
Got to hand it to you, Sanders, it's a thing of beauty.
Well, thanks.
Only one problem, though.
My advisor called me in for a meeting this afternoon.
Curious, huh? Keep your fingers crossed.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
Hello, juniors.
Sit down, we're just, uh, drooling over Steve's schedule.
Jealous much? How did you do, David? I still have to straighten it out.
I spent all day yesterday with my mom, so I missed registration.
- How's she doing? - She's fine.
I'm exhausted.
How's your schedule, Brandon? - It's a disaster.
- Well, maybe it wasn't such a hot idea for you to stop being the president of the university.
It wasn't exactly a choice, Steve, I lost the election.
Aw.
Poor baby.
No more influence with my dad? Don't feel sorry for me.
I plan to do what every ex-president does.
Oh, what's that, play golf with ex-sports stars and be on Larry King? Kill me.
No, I'm gonna be a journalist.
Oh, just like your old days - at the B/aze, huh? - You don't think I spent my summer interning at the Boston Hera/d for nothing, do you? While my good friend Steve here is trying to convince his advisor that the cocktail hour has some sort of academic value I am going to be shooting for a column on the Condor.
Don't get your hopes up.
Why not? Well, this editor is no Andrea Zuckerman.
Check out her first editorial.
"Must Be A Guy Thing.
"A top ten list of boorish behavior "designed to introduce incoming coeds to a new and distinct species the college male.
" Let me see that.
No, I am reading it.
"Number ten" "thinking any woman who won't go out with them is a lesbian.
" "Number nine: calling any woman other than a grandmother a chick.
" "Number eight: flirting with other women while on a date.
" - I hate that.
- "Numbers seven "and six a tie bikini calendars and beer can collages.
" Art is very subjective.
"Number five: ESPN.
" What about ESPN2? For people who do.
Hmm.
Uh, "number four: constant" "Interruptions.
" What is she talking about? "Number three: liking Rush Limbaugh.
Number two: liking Howard Stern.
" And the number one boorish behavior incoming coeds should be aware of in guys and this one is right on "Expecting to score on the first date.
" - That's a bad thing? - Ew.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Did I miss something here? No, but I missed you.
Um, I-I've got to go.
I'm late for class.
I-I'm sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it, I'll get it.
Thanks, Donna.
I've been studying your high school transcripts, Steve, and, uh you barely passed math at West Beverly.
That in combination with your dreary academic record at C.
U.
leads me to think that perhaps there is something amiss here.
Would you believe dumb luck? I'd explain that I don't in terms of probability, but I'll wait till after you've covered that material in class.
Class? Well, classes.
Remedial math.
Five days a week.
Five mornings a week.
And I suggest that you get a tutor if you want to keep up.
Sorry I'm late.
I had to find the place.
My roommate's an art history major and I've never even been here.
What are you sketching? Just limbering up the wrist.
Sit down.
What, you want to sketch me? Yeah, why not? Did you talk to your friend? Yep.
He offered me a job.
Teaching? That's great.
Not for me, it isn't.
I came to Los Angeles to work on my art, not somebody else's.
I thought you came to Los Angeles to be with me.
Give me a little more profile.
How's this? Perfect.
You know, my friends are giving me a hard time about you.
About what? They say I should be a jealous shrew because you used to know Valerie.
Oh, come on, we traveled through Europe together.
We were kids.
She was, like, 12 or something.
- 15, but who's counting? - Yeah, well, add 20 pounds and stick a set of braces on her teeth and you get the picture.
Well, in case you haven't noticed, she's grown up a little.
I noticed.
You can relax now.
Come here.
It's beautiful.
It's you.
But the front page is already set.
I don't care.
I want it redone.
An hour ago.
Excuse me.
I'm Brandon Walsh.
So? So, I sent you my clips from the Boston Hera/d.
Ah, obituaries, if memory serves.
Real impressive.
Um, I need a hundred words out of that story.
And the lead's all wrong.
Save "allegedly" for paragraph two.
Okay.
Was there something else? Yeah, actually, there was.
I wanted to talk to you about writing a column.
But I warn you, we print freelancers on the basis of talent not reputation.
You don't understand.
I don't want to write a column.
I want to be a columnist.
I know this may come as a shock, but people here actually work for the chance to get a column on this paper.
I've worked.
Just not here.
As ex-president, I can write with a lot of insight about student government.
And get a very public platform for next year's election.
- How convenient.
- No, no, no, no.
I'm through with politics.
Stop the presses.
Walsh Retires: Students Spared.
Did you object to my policies, or the fact that I wear pants? Truth be told, I object to everything about you.
But you don't even know me.
Exactly.
Why ruin a good thing? Pruit! Pruit! Telephone! Yeah, I'll be right there.
Hello? Ray, hi.
Sorry to call you at work but this couldn't wait.
Hey, no problem.
Happy for the break.
What's up? Well, do you remember Barbara Korman you know, the woman that lost her ring on my parents' boat? Don't tell me she lost it again and she's looking for me.
No, silly her husband wants to show his appreciation to me for finding the ring.
Well, if he wants to give you a 42-foot sloop, don't say no.
Well, he did say that I could have anything I wanted, and I told him there was just one thing that would make me really happy.
And what's that? To come hear you play tomorrow night at the Peach Pit After Dark.
Donna, I'm not playing tomorrow night at the Peach Pit After Dark.
Yes, you are.
'Cause I just found out that Jerry Korman is the president of Jolt Records.
- No way.
- Yep.
And I already cleared it with Valerie.
So, what do you say? Yeah, yeah.
Of course I'll do it.
That sounds great.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, don't thank me just buy us that yacht when you're rich and famous, okay? You're on.
See ya.
All right.
- Nat, Nat, listen.
- What? There's no pressure in the beer taps.
- You've gotta check the line.
- Okay.
Wait a minute and the ice machine's on the fritz again.
I mean, there's a swimming pool - instead of ice cubes.
- Relax, I'll take care of it.
Okay.
You work here? Not exactly.
I own the club next door.
Really? I didn't know there was a club next door.
Well, come on.
I'll give you a personal tour.
All right.
Is it popular? Very.
Valerie, I'm impressed.
You mean surprised, right? Maybe a little bit.
I've changed a lot since you knew me.
So I see.
Your teeth turned out nice.
God, I was awful-looking back then.
Not awful.
Awkward, maybe.
Definitely not awful.
So you do remember me? Of course I do.
Remember the night we missed the bus in Oslo? How could I forget.
If you hadn't lent me your sleeping bag, I would have frozen to death.
I did.
No, you didn't.
As I recall, you were very warm.
Didn't you share Mary Beth's sleeping bag that night? You noticed.
Well, she was my roommate, Colin.
I made her tell me everything about you.
I didn't know you were interested.
I was.
But that was a long time ago.
Nice wall.
Well, it does keep the ceiling off the floor.
No, no, you're not seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
A wall like that, to me, is a canvas.
And that canvas is crying out for a mural.
- Hi.
- Hey, Nat.
I was supposed to meet somebody here.
Tall, dark, and bohemian? Naturally.
- Next door.
- With Valerie? Naturally.
Imagine, Val, this'd be the largest piece I've ever worked on.
So, what do you think? I think it's a great idea.
So do I.
Okay.
We have a deal.
Hey, Kelly.
See that wall? A month from now, floor to ceiling, it's gonna be an original Colin Robbins.
That's fabulous.
- Let's get some dinner.
- Okay.
Bye, Val.
Thanks.
This must be my lucky day.
- We meet again.
- I'm warning you.
I'm wearing my shoulder pads today.
I didn't see you in class this morning.
I didn't know you were looking for me.
I'm Toni.
I'm Dylan.
Would you like a ride, Toni? Uh, no, thanks.
I've already got one.
I'll say.
Nice ride.
Understated.
My father insists.
He, um, he thinks I need protection.
Mmm.
Is your girlfriend there paid to approve the dance card? To disapprove.
That's too bad, 'cause I had a great lunch planned for Miss Marchette doesn't accept invitations from strangers.
He's not a stranger, Bruno; he's been following me since yesterday.
Besides, I'm the one doing the inviting.
Get in.
Less than 300 words.
Let's see if you really do print on the basis of talent and not reputation.
Perhaps you didn't hear me clearly.
You didn't get the job.
It's freelance.
"It Must Be A Girl Thing"?! A top ten list of annoying behavior intended to introduce incoming guys to a new and distinct species the college female.
You're not serious.
No sense of humor.
That's number six.
"Dancing with other girls.
"Raising the curve by flirting with the professors.
"Pretending guys want it more.
" It takes two to slam dance.
Or one and a wall calendar.
I've read enough.
Ooh, you're only down to number seven.
"Foreplay"? Comes as a complete shock.
You print this, you'll be doing a real public service.
Excuse me, I have to get back to the real world now.
Only interested in one set of opinions her own.
That would be number one.
Walsh, you're right.
Perhaps I didn't give your column the proper attention it deserves.
Much better.
Wait a second.
What exactly is your problem with me? Don't flatter yourself.
It's nothing personal.
Then what is it? My clips are good.
And even if you don't agree with what I did as president, you know that my experience will make good copy.
Before yesterday, had we ever met? - No.
- Exactly.
So you don't like me because we're strangers? Brandon, when you were president, the only person on this paper you dealt with was the editor.
Just like in administration, the only person you dealt with was the chancellor.
And you think I need to be brought back down to earth.
- How sweet.
- I think getting your ego into the solar system would be achievement enough.
Judging by your opinion of men, I would say you're the one with the untamed ego.
As if your opinion of women - is so sensitive.
- Oh, my opinion is right on and I can prove it.
Really? And how do you plan to do that? The way any good journalist would: a little research.
You and me go into the field.
We observe men and women together in their natural habitat.
Nice try.
But you don't work for this paper.
What's the matter? You afraid you're gonna find out that women really aren't superior, after all? I never said we were superior.
Just better.
Peach Pit After Dark.
Be there or be square.
A lounge lizard and a throwback.
What an attractive combination.
So it's a date? Certainly not.
It's a challenge.
After dark.
You know, the things you see after dark.
Night.
Neon.
The 59th Street Bridge.
A sliver of moon.
Is this a game two can play? Sure.
Close your eyes.
All right, what do you see? Steam pipes, taillights on yellow cabs.
You know, New York.
We'll bring a little bit of Gotham right into the heart of Beverly Hills.
Ah, hey, Kel.
Colin, how's it going? Hey, how's your mom? Time-consuming.
Where the hell have you been? I'm fine, Val.
Thanks for asking.
And you? This isn't funny.
You should've been here hours ago to do Ray's sound check and set the stage.
Is Ray here yet? - No.
- Then relax.
All right? I've been setting up a 4,000-seat venue all summer long; I think I can handle the Peach Pit After Dark.
David, I need you.
Now, can you get started? Yes, sir.
Can I talk to you for a second? You were way out of line down there.
Well, thanks for the advice, but I think I can run my own club.
Do you even know why David was late? Probably overslept.
No, he was moving his mother from a halfway house to an apartment.
Oh.
I had no idea.
No kidding.
Wait a minute.
Are you coming down on me because the way I treated David or the fact that I hired Colin to paint a mural? That depends.
How are you treating Colin? Like a friend.
Nothing more.
Sirloin to go.
With all the trimmings.
Thank you.
You know what they say quickest way to a woman's heart is through her bodyguard's stomach.
I wouldn't know.
Most guys see Bruno and they keep their distance.
Must be tough.
Mm, I'm used to it.
It's been like that since I can remember.
But I guess I do get lonely sometimes.
What exactly is he protecting you from, anyway? Nothing.
Everything.
My father's imagination, mostly.
Mm.
Yeah, what's he like? Your father.
Tell me about him.
Which one? The man who drives me crazy and makes me live at home instead of on campus, or the one who works so hard I sometimes wonder if he knows I exist? Or the man who I love more than life itself? I think I'll try "What he does for a living" for 500, Alex.
High finance mergers, acquisitions, leveraged buyouts.
Stuff like that.
Yeah, high finance not exactly my thing.
What is your thing? I don't know.
A little of this, a little that, a little of the other thing.
Obviously, you're a Communications major.
Actually, I'm not a major at all.
I don't even go to school.
Then what were you doing in my class? Well, every September, I get this urge to go back to school, so I do, and then on the first day, my sense comes back to me, and, uh, I go to the beach.
Oh.
A bum.
Maybe my father's imagination isn't so vivid after all.
Yeah, well, maybe we ought to get this out to Bruno before it gets cold.
I had fun.
Well, so did I.
Maybe we should do this again sometime.
How about tonight? Oh, I don't know about that.
It sounds tempting, but I'd hate to be responsible for your dad having to pay Bruno time and a half.
Oh, let me take care of Bruno.
Yeah, and what are you gonna do, tie him up? Live in a gilded cage long enough, and you find ways to escape.
I didn't think there was a disobedient bone in your body.
I know this great dance club The Peach Pit After Dark.
Have you heard of it? Sounds vaguely familiar, yeah.
I'll get there as soon as I can.
Won't your father be upset? Mm, if I'm happy, he's happy.
And are you? Happy? I don't know yet.
Hey, Steve, coming down to the club, buddy? Well, as soon as I get these tutors out of my way.
in the next 30 minutes.
Ah, the in-depth approach, huh? Don't worry about me.
I know exactly what I'm looking for.
Gorgeous or corrupt? Preferably? Both.
Looks like your first victim's here.
See you later, buddy.
Thanks, pal.
Thanks for responding to my ad.
Let me start by telling you what I'm looking for in a math tutor.
I'm looking for a risk-taker, someone who's willing to combine my entrepreneurship with their academic skills.
You want to pay me to do your work? Exactly.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
I am.
Completely.
But I'll get over it.
Is that a yes? You mean, like, I'm supposed to be the tutor? Sure.
And you'll do all my homework for me? - Yeah, sure.
- You'll take all my exams? Yeah, sure.
Five dollars an hour sound okay? Yeah, sure.
I plan to do my studying on Mars.
How's that sound? Yeah, sure.
Walsh! Keats? What, never seen a girl before? No, no, it's not that.
It's just, I I never knew you were so, uh so Intellectual? Come on.
I got pull around here.
Yeah, well, tell me they've named a drink after you, and I'm yours.
Otis, my man.
Everything's all set.
Oh, David, listen, um, I'm really sorry about earlier.
I was really out of line.
Forget it.
No.
How's your mom doing? She's, uh She's fine.
Kelly told me what's going on.
Yeah, uh, well, I-I got her into an apartment.
You know, maybe it'll, uh make it a little easier.
Listen, if you ever need anybody to talk to, I've got a lot of experience with crazy parents.
Yeah.
Doesn't everybody? Well, some parents are crazier than others.
Look, uh, you want me to tell Ray to get ready to go on? Yeah, yeah 20 minutes.
All right.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Hey, how's it going? Man, you want to go on instead of me? Why? What's wrong? I'm nervous.
Come on, man, you're ready for this.
I hope so.
Well, ready or not, you're going on at 10:00.
Hey, the Kormans want to come in and say hi.
All right.
Hi.
Ray, you remember Jerry and Barbara Korman.
And this is their daughter Jessica.
Hey, how you doing? Thanks for coming.
Looking forward to hearing you sing Donna's raved.
Well, advance billing is hard to live up to.
Yeah, well, if anything, I undersold.
Got any soda or chips or something? Jessica Not up here, sweetie.
This isn't much of a dressing room.
Uh, excuse her.
She's used to a larger venue.
Well, I hope you guys enjoy the show.
Oh, I'm sure we will.
But we're not the ones you have to impress.
Yeah, Jessica's my barometer.
If she likes you, you're as good as gold.
As far as experimental laboratories go, this place isn't that bad.
I'd say the men have behaved quite well.
The night is still young.
Excuse me, but I can't help but wonder, um, do you have a mirror in your pocket? No.
Why? 'Cause I sure can see myself in your pants.
As you were saying? Men are scum.
Hey, seriously, uh, haven't we met somewhere before? Yeah, we have.
I'm the secretary at your VD clinic.
You cheated.
He was downwind of your perfume.
All's fair in war.
And love? Love's got nothin' to do with it.
Okay.
Hey.
Drowning your sorrows? Make this a quadruple, okay? One quadruple ginger ale coming up.
Mr.
Bardwell thinks I have a math problem.
The man's vicious.
Why? What'd he do? The unthinkable took away my four-day weekends.
Ooh, criminal.
You have to take remedial math? Five days a week.
Five mornings a week.
If I don't pass, I don't graduate.
Well, why don't you get a tutor? Oh, gee, why didn't I think of that? Have you started looking? You wouldn't believe the geek chorus I've been interviewing.
I know I'm going to regret this but I could probably really help you, you know.
Please tell me you'll take my exams for me? No.
I'm going to make your life a living hell.
Huh.
But you'll pass math.
Steve, you made it.
Find a tutor? Yeah.
I volunteered.
Well, she's beautiful, but is she corrupt? I don't think so.
When it comes to math, boys, I play by the numbers.
I bet she paints the same way.
Yeah.
- I'm back.
- Hey.
Maybe I should just paint a big portrait of you on that wall.
What, are you drunk? Not yet.
Want something? No, I'm fine.
Want to dance? No.
Want to go to my place and get naked? So much.
Mmm.
You think anybody will mind if we don't stick around for Ray's show? I think Donna will understand.
Congratulations.
Another big turnout.
Thanks.
Don't let it get to you, Val.
I know.
Got to learn to live with it.
Join the club.
Where have you been? I was beginning to think maybe you couldn't get by Bruno tonight.
Bruno was a little cagier than usual.
Listen, I was thinking, let's not go in here.
Well, why? This is a great club.
Yeah, it is, I just you know, I've been here a lot.
Really? I've never seen you here before.
Mostly I hang at the Peach Pit.
It's next door, and, you know, I know everybody, and The truth is, I bought this place once.
Very impressive.
A bum like you owns a place like this.
It's amazing what money'll buy.
Tell me more.
I'd rather not.
Why are you holding out on me? I just you know, I just don't like the idea of people hanging out with me 'cause of my money.
I'll, uh, keep that in mind.
So do you want to introduce me to your friends? Okay.
Hey, Steve.
Hey, Dylan.
- How you doin', bro? - Okay.
Dylan, didn't expect to see you here.
Well, I didn't exactly plan to be here tonight.
Valerie, uh, this is Toni.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you, too.
Any friend of Dylan's Should have her head examined.
- Steve Sanders.
- Toni.
Nice to meet you.
Yo, McKay! Hey.
Boy, you weren't kidding, man.
You know everyone in this place.
Yeah, I just didn't really expect them to all show up on the same night.
- Hey, B, how you doing? - Hey.
- Why the big turnout? - Ah, Ray's doing a showcase.
Susan Keats, Dylan McKay.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
- Uh, I didn't catch your name.
Toni Marchette.
Nice to meet you.
Ah.
I've, uh, heard a lot about you.
- You have? - Not really.
He's just fumbling for conversation.
It's what he does.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, at long last, Mr.
Ray Pruit.
Thank you.
Would have sold my soul for you Would have lived my whole life through for you Oh, blood, sweat, tears for you But you're running away from me Oh, rebel I see you In the morning sun I try to tell you I'm the one But you're running away from me And why do you keep telling me I'm not the one I used to be Let me tell you why Why I'm still calling Why I'm still falling So, good as gold? What do you say, boss? He's great.
Platinum.
How many times do I need to say Need to say The same thing a different way Everything I ever do is for you You're running away from me When I tell you you're the key You're the key You're everything to me Every truth I ever knew But you're running away from me I'm perfectly capable of walking to my car by myself.
Oh, no, you're not.
I'm escorting you.
It's late, it's dark.
It's a guy thing.
Well, if you're expecting to kiss me good night, you can forget about it.
Actually, I was thinking about proving you right.
I beg your pardon? Number one on your hit parade: "Expecting to score on the first date.
" Well thank you for walking me to my car, Brandon.
It was very nice of you.
A kind word for me? I'm shocked.
Don't be.
It's a girl thing.
Good night, Brandon.
Good night.
All right.
I have three simple rules, okay? You follow them, there won't be any problem.
I'm not very good at following rules, but go ahead.
You're all my witnesses here, okay? One, you do your own homework.
Two, you do my practice problems.
What are you, crazy? I'm not doing any extra work.
Okay, fine.
Then, um, say hello to the geek chorus.
What's your third rule? You break the rules, the price goes up.
Go ahead, Clare, gouge him.
All right.
I was thinking we'll start with about I don't know, ten bucks a session.
Ten bucks an hour, are you crazy? Ten bucks a half-hour, Steve.
That comes out to about 20 bucks an hour for you mathematically challenged people, sporto.
How much for topless? Uh, that you can't afford, Steve.
Sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jolt Records' newest recording star.
Hey, don't jinx it.
Nobody's offered me anything yet.
Eh, don't listen to him, he's as good as signed.
Better practice your penmanship there, Ray.
Yeah.
It's getting pretty late; I better get you home.
I don't want to go yet I like these guys.
Eh, give us time.
Yeah, besides, you've got an early class in the morning.
Yeah, I guess I do.
So does Steve.
Well, it was really nice to meet all of you.
- Nice meeting you.
- You, too.
- Yeah, you, too.
- Nice meeting you, also.
Wait right here, I'll get the check.
Beautiful girl.
Hadn't noticed.
You expect me to believe that? You can believe whatever you want.
Talk about your Capulets and your Montagues.
You're headed for a tragic ending, Romeo.
This isn't Shakespeare, Brandon.
Oh, no, but it is classic McKay.
Brandon, it was a pleasure to meet you.
Same here.
Ready? - Yeah.
- Good night.
Good night.
This is not a house.
This is more like a castle.
I'm surprised you people don't have a moat.
My dad started from nothing, and all this reminds him of how far he's come.
Sounds like you're his biggest fan.
I'm a daddy's girl and proud of it.
I know the answer to your question.
What question? Am I happy? Oh, yeah, that question.
Well? Yeah.
Bruno.
Who is that kid? Some guy she met on campus.
Check him out.
Morning.
What are you doing up? I've got a busy morning.
I've got a lot of stuff to do today.
Oh, no, come back to bed.
No, I can't.
You sleep.
I made you breakfast.
I have to get up.
I have a class at 10:00.
I'll be at the club all day, if you need me, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
- See you.
- Bye.
Hello? Hello, is Colin Robbins there? No, you just missed him.
Can I ask who's calling? Yes, would you tell him Claudia from New York.
Just a minute, let me get something to write with.
Mm-hmm.
Does he have your number? Yes, he has it.
Just tell him Claudia at the gallery.
Oh"at the gallery".
Sure, I'll tell him you called.
Thank you.
Bye.
I can't believe you ran my column.
Well, I decided, if you wanted to hang yourself, I might as well give you the rope.
So, am I dead yet? A dissenting view, no matter how misinformed, never hurts circulation, which is why I'm giving you one column a week, And you're welcome.
Thank you.
I'll only accept on one condition, though.
Have dinner with me.
Uh, why would I want to do that? Why not? Because we have nothing in common.
In fact, you really get on my nerves.
You're one of the most antagonistic people I have ever met.
So, you like Italian? You haven't listened to a word I've said.
It must be a guy thing.
- Bye, Walsh.
- Bye, Keats.
Funny column.
Phone's been ringing off the hook.
- Any more good news? - Yeah.
He's got a cute butt.
Tell me about it.
Getting an early start? You know it.
What's all this for? It's the only way to reach the top.
Little tip I got from Michelangelo.
Well, the trouble is, when you step back to admire your work, it's a long way down.
I'll keep that in mind.
Come on in, I'll buy you some breakfast.
Get some of the guys to give you a hand.
That'd be grand; thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Quite a show you put on here last night.
How would you know? You left early.
I saw the size of the crowd.
You really packed this place.
Well, a lot of people are gonna see your mural.
Yeah, could be good for me.
That's the general idea.
Need any help? Some inspiration, maybe? Everyone can use a little of that.
Yeah, even me.
Even though it's not exactly inspiration.
It's more like a dream.
Dreams are good.
I've had this one since I was 15 years old with braces on my teeth.
I've always dreamed about kissing you.
I'm flattered.
Oh, who am I kidding? It was just a fantasy.
Thanks.
I'll never forget that.
The two scariest words in the English language.
Oh, yeah? I got two more for you.
How about "summer's over"? "Classes begin.
" "Pop quiz.
" I don't know.
I always look forward to school starting.
Great teachers, long evenings at the library Long evenings at the library? That's your idea of a fun night? Yeah, well, it is for those of us that can read.
Stop fighting, you two.
Let's enjoy the little time we have left, okay? Why don't we go to the beach, you know? Watch the sun rise or something? Hey, why not? Let's make this a night to remember.
Ah, see, I told you they'd be here.
I think you know everybody except Steve and Colin? - Colin Robbins? - Valerie? You guys know each other? Yeah, we traveled through Europe a couple years ago.
Wow! It's been so long.
I I can't believe it.
Hi.
How are you? Good, how are you? I'm great.
What are you doing here? Uh just hanging out.
McKay? Do my eyes deceive me? do you people do this? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
It's the first day of school, you're on campus.
Could it be you're finally going to do something constructive with your life? N-No, wait, let me guess.
You bought the college.
That's right, I bought the college.
I'm gonna turn it into a nudist colony.
All these people naked as far as the eye can see.
Aren't you late for class or something? You're not going to tell me why you're here? You said you didn't want to hear about it.
Well, now my morbid curiosity is piqued.
What could Tony Marchette and C.
U.
possibly have in common? Well, I'll tell you, Bran, his kid's an underclassman here.
How about that? Shock of shocks he's named after the old man.
Junior's got an 8:00 a.
m.
economics lecture.
I plan to be there.
What are you going to do sidle up to the guy and say, "Hi, I'm Dylan McKay, can I be your friend so I can kill your father?" Something like that.
Where's the economics building? Get a map.
Thanks for the lift, Steve.
No problem.
But next time your car needs an oil change, why don't you ask your old boyfriend? I'm sure he'd be happy to drive you to school.
Steve, I told you Colin and I were kids.
It was a teen tour in Europe.
Nothing ever happened between us.
Ah, unrequited love.
I know it well.
I mean, every time I looked at Colin I got weak in the knees.
I couldn't even sit next to him on the tour bus because I'd stop breathing.
Still carrying a torch? More like an eternal flame.
Or a grease fire.
All right.
Ah, I can see it now.
Valerie and Colin in Europe together, kissing under the Bridge of Sighs in a gondola in Venice.
Hmm, sipping lattes in a café in Paris.
And of course, when in Rome Well, maybe they didn't get to Rome.
Ha! Valerie always gets to Rome, usually by the second date.
Would you two please stop it? I told you I don't care where Colin and Valerie went or what they did.
Tell us you're not jealous.
Yeah, go ahead, lie for the hundredth time.
It was a teen tour.
It was nothing, no big deal, nothing happened.
If you don't believe me, you can ask Colin.
He's going to meet us here for coffee.
He's coming here? Why? He has an old friend in the art department.
And an old friend in the Walsh house.
That's a good one.
Lindstrom, Carl.
What up? Magnuson, Peter.
Here.
Malinowski, Larry.
Here.
Marchette, Toni.
Here.
Robb, Nelson.
Robb, Nelson.
Peters, Jeanette.
Oh, excuse me, I'm Late for class? No, just real happy to get out of that one.
Uh, are you okay? Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something? Uh, no, thank you.
You're sure, I mean, that you're okay and everything? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Okay, well, h-have a good day.
I'm sure I will.
Read this and weep.
You have no classes Mondays and Fridays? That's right.
And nothing before 11:00 the rest of the week? Ah, that four-day weekend I so richly deserve.
Got to hand it to you, Sanders, it's a thing of beauty.
Well, thanks.
Only one problem, though.
My advisor called me in for a meeting this afternoon.
Curious, huh? Keep your fingers crossed.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
Hello, juniors.
Sit down, we're just, uh, drooling over Steve's schedule.
Jealous much? How did you do, David? I still have to straighten it out.
I spent all day yesterday with my mom, so I missed registration.
- How's she doing? - She's fine.
I'm exhausted.
How's your schedule, Brandon? - It's a disaster.
- Well, maybe it wasn't such a hot idea for you to stop being the president of the university.
It wasn't exactly a choice, Steve, I lost the election.
Aw.
Poor baby.
No more influence with my dad? Don't feel sorry for me.
I plan to do what every ex-president does.
Oh, what's that, play golf with ex-sports stars and be on Larry King? Kill me.
No, I'm gonna be a journalist.
Oh, just like your old days - at the B/aze, huh? - You don't think I spent my summer interning at the Boston Hera/d for nothing, do you? While my good friend Steve here is trying to convince his advisor that the cocktail hour has some sort of academic value I am going to be shooting for a column on the Condor.
Don't get your hopes up.
Why not? Well, this editor is no Andrea Zuckerman.
Check out her first editorial.
"Must Be A Guy Thing.
"A top ten list of boorish behavior "designed to introduce incoming coeds to a new and distinct species the college male.
" Let me see that.
No, I am reading it.
"Number ten" "thinking any woman who won't go out with them is a lesbian.
" "Number nine: calling any woman other than a grandmother a chick.
" "Number eight: flirting with other women while on a date.
" - I hate that.
- "Numbers seven "and six a tie bikini calendars and beer can collages.
" Art is very subjective.
"Number five: ESPN.
" What about ESPN2? For people who do.
Hmm.
Uh, "number four: constant" "Interruptions.
" What is she talking about? "Number three: liking Rush Limbaugh.
Number two: liking Howard Stern.
" And the number one boorish behavior incoming coeds should be aware of in guys and this one is right on "Expecting to score on the first date.
" - That's a bad thing? - Ew.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Did I miss something here? No, but I missed you.
Um, I-I've got to go.
I'm late for class.
I-I'm sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it, I'll get it.
Thanks, Donna.
I've been studying your high school transcripts, Steve, and, uh you barely passed math at West Beverly.
That in combination with your dreary academic record at C.
U.
leads me to think that perhaps there is something amiss here.
Would you believe dumb luck? I'd explain that I don't in terms of probability, but I'll wait till after you've covered that material in class.
Class? Well, classes.
Remedial math.
Five days a week.
Five mornings a week.
And I suggest that you get a tutor if you want to keep up.
Sorry I'm late.
I had to find the place.
My roommate's an art history major and I've never even been here.
What are you sketching? Just limbering up the wrist.
Sit down.
What, you want to sketch me? Yeah, why not? Did you talk to your friend? Yep.
He offered me a job.
Teaching? That's great.
Not for me, it isn't.
I came to Los Angeles to work on my art, not somebody else's.
I thought you came to Los Angeles to be with me.
Give me a little more profile.
How's this? Perfect.
You know, my friends are giving me a hard time about you.
About what? They say I should be a jealous shrew because you used to know Valerie.
Oh, come on, we traveled through Europe together.
We were kids.
She was, like, 12 or something.
- 15, but who's counting? - Yeah, well, add 20 pounds and stick a set of braces on her teeth and you get the picture.
Well, in case you haven't noticed, she's grown up a little.
I noticed.
You can relax now.
Come here.
It's beautiful.
It's you.
But the front page is already set.
I don't care.
I want it redone.
An hour ago.
Excuse me.
I'm Brandon Walsh.
So? So, I sent you my clips from the Boston Hera/d.
Ah, obituaries, if memory serves.
Real impressive.
Um, I need a hundred words out of that story.
And the lead's all wrong.
Save "allegedly" for paragraph two.
Okay.
Was there something else? Yeah, actually, there was.
I wanted to talk to you about writing a column.
But I warn you, we print freelancers on the basis of talent not reputation.
You don't understand.
I don't want to write a column.
I want to be a columnist.
I know this may come as a shock, but people here actually work for the chance to get a column on this paper.
I've worked.
Just not here.
As ex-president, I can write with a lot of insight about student government.
And get a very public platform for next year's election.
- How convenient.
- No, no, no, no.
I'm through with politics.
Stop the presses.
Walsh Retires: Students Spared.
Did you object to my policies, or the fact that I wear pants? Truth be told, I object to everything about you.
But you don't even know me.
Exactly.
Why ruin a good thing? Pruit! Pruit! Telephone! Yeah, I'll be right there.
Hello? Ray, hi.
Sorry to call you at work but this couldn't wait.
Hey, no problem.
Happy for the break.
What's up? Well, do you remember Barbara Korman you know, the woman that lost her ring on my parents' boat? Don't tell me she lost it again and she's looking for me.
No, silly her husband wants to show his appreciation to me for finding the ring.
Well, if he wants to give you a 42-foot sloop, don't say no.
Well, he did say that I could have anything I wanted, and I told him there was just one thing that would make me really happy.
And what's that? To come hear you play tomorrow night at the Peach Pit After Dark.
Donna, I'm not playing tomorrow night at the Peach Pit After Dark.
Yes, you are.
'Cause I just found out that Jerry Korman is the president of Jolt Records.
- No way.
- Yep.
And I already cleared it with Valerie.
So, what do you say? Yeah, yeah.
Of course I'll do it.
That sounds great.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, don't thank me just buy us that yacht when you're rich and famous, okay? You're on.
See ya.
All right.
- Nat, Nat, listen.
- What? There's no pressure in the beer taps.
- You've gotta check the line.
- Okay.
Wait a minute and the ice machine's on the fritz again.
I mean, there's a swimming pool - instead of ice cubes.
- Relax, I'll take care of it.
Okay.
You work here? Not exactly.
I own the club next door.
Really? I didn't know there was a club next door.
Well, come on.
I'll give you a personal tour.
All right.
Is it popular? Very.
Valerie, I'm impressed.
You mean surprised, right? Maybe a little bit.
I've changed a lot since you knew me.
So I see.
Your teeth turned out nice.
God, I was awful-looking back then.
Not awful.
Awkward, maybe.
Definitely not awful.
So you do remember me? Of course I do.
Remember the night we missed the bus in Oslo? How could I forget.
If you hadn't lent me your sleeping bag, I would have frozen to death.
I did.
No, you didn't.
As I recall, you were very warm.
Didn't you share Mary Beth's sleeping bag that night? You noticed.
Well, she was my roommate, Colin.
I made her tell me everything about you.
I didn't know you were interested.
I was.
But that was a long time ago.
Nice wall.
Well, it does keep the ceiling off the floor.
No, no, you're not seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
A wall like that, to me, is a canvas.
And that canvas is crying out for a mural.
- Hi.
- Hey, Nat.
I was supposed to meet somebody here.
Tall, dark, and bohemian? Naturally.
- Next door.
- With Valerie? Naturally.
Imagine, Val, this'd be the largest piece I've ever worked on.
So, what do you think? I think it's a great idea.
So do I.
Okay.
We have a deal.
Hey, Kelly.
See that wall? A month from now, floor to ceiling, it's gonna be an original Colin Robbins.
That's fabulous.
- Let's get some dinner.
- Okay.
Bye, Val.
Thanks.
This must be my lucky day.
- We meet again.
- I'm warning you.
I'm wearing my shoulder pads today.
I didn't see you in class this morning.
I didn't know you were looking for me.
I'm Toni.
I'm Dylan.
Would you like a ride, Toni? Uh, no, thanks.
I've already got one.
I'll say.
Nice ride.
Understated.
My father insists.
He, um, he thinks I need protection.
Mmm.
Is your girlfriend there paid to approve the dance card? To disapprove.
That's too bad, 'cause I had a great lunch planned for Miss Marchette doesn't accept invitations from strangers.
He's not a stranger, Bruno; he's been following me since yesterday.
Besides, I'm the one doing the inviting.
Get in.
Less than 300 words.
Let's see if you really do print on the basis of talent and not reputation.
Perhaps you didn't hear me clearly.
You didn't get the job.
It's freelance.
"It Must Be A Girl Thing"?! A top ten list of annoying behavior intended to introduce incoming guys to a new and distinct species the college female.
You're not serious.
No sense of humor.
That's number six.
"Dancing with other girls.
"Raising the curve by flirting with the professors.
"Pretending guys want it more.
" It takes two to slam dance.
Or one and a wall calendar.
I've read enough.
Ooh, you're only down to number seven.
"Foreplay"? Comes as a complete shock.
You print this, you'll be doing a real public service.
Excuse me, I have to get back to the real world now.
Only interested in one set of opinions her own.
That would be number one.
Walsh, you're right.
Perhaps I didn't give your column the proper attention it deserves.
Much better.
Wait a second.
What exactly is your problem with me? Don't flatter yourself.
It's nothing personal.
Then what is it? My clips are good.
And even if you don't agree with what I did as president, you know that my experience will make good copy.
Before yesterday, had we ever met? - No.
- Exactly.
So you don't like me because we're strangers? Brandon, when you were president, the only person on this paper you dealt with was the editor.
Just like in administration, the only person you dealt with was the chancellor.
And you think I need to be brought back down to earth.
- How sweet.
- I think getting your ego into the solar system would be achievement enough.
Judging by your opinion of men, I would say you're the one with the untamed ego.
As if your opinion of women - is so sensitive.
- Oh, my opinion is right on and I can prove it.
Really? And how do you plan to do that? The way any good journalist would: a little research.
You and me go into the field.
We observe men and women together in their natural habitat.
Nice try.
But you don't work for this paper.
What's the matter? You afraid you're gonna find out that women really aren't superior, after all? I never said we were superior.
Just better.
Peach Pit After Dark.
Be there or be square.
A lounge lizard and a throwback.
What an attractive combination.
So it's a date? Certainly not.
It's a challenge.
After dark.
You know, the things you see after dark.
Night.
Neon.
The 59th Street Bridge.
A sliver of moon.
Is this a game two can play? Sure.
Close your eyes.
All right, what do you see? Steam pipes, taillights on yellow cabs.
You know, New York.
We'll bring a little bit of Gotham right into the heart of Beverly Hills.
Ah, hey, Kel.
Colin, how's it going? Hey, how's your mom? Time-consuming.
Where the hell have you been? I'm fine, Val.
Thanks for asking.
And you? This isn't funny.
You should've been here hours ago to do Ray's sound check and set the stage.
Is Ray here yet? - No.
- Then relax.
All right? I've been setting up a 4,000-seat venue all summer long; I think I can handle the Peach Pit After Dark.
David, I need you.
Now, can you get started? Yes, sir.
Can I talk to you for a second? You were way out of line down there.
Well, thanks for the advice, but I think I can run my own club.
Do you even know why David was late? Probably overslept.
No, he was moving his mother from a halfway house to an apartment.
Oh.
I had no idea.
No kidding.
Wait a minute.
Are you coming down on me because the way I treated David or the fact that I hired Colin to paint a mural? That depends.
How are you treating Colin? Like a friend.
Nothing more.
Sirloin to go.
With all the trimmings.
Thank you.
You know what they say quickest way to a woman's heart is through her bodyguard's stomach.
I wouldn't know.
Most guys see Bruno and they keep their distance.
Must be tough.
Mm, I'm used to it.
It's been like that since I can remember.
But I guess I do get lonely sometimes.
What exactly is he protecting you from, anyway? Nothing.
Everything.
My father's imagination, mostly.
Mm.
Yeah, what's he like? Your father.
Tell me about him.
Which one? The man who drives me crazy and makes me live at home instead of on campus, or the one who works so hard I sometimes wonder if he knows I exist? Or the man who I love more than life itself? I think I'll try "What he does for a living" for 500, Alex.
High finance mergers, acquisitions, leveraged buyouts.
Stuff like that.
Yeah, high finance not exactly my thing.
What is your thing? I don't know.
A little of this, a little that, a little of the other thing.
Obviously, you're a Communications major.
Actually, I'm not a major at all.
I don't even go to school.
Then what were you doing in my class? Well, every September, I get this urge to go back to school, so I do, and then on the first day, my sense comes back to me, and, uh, I go to the beach.
Oh.
A bum.
Maybe my father's imagination isn't so vivid after all.
Yeah, well, maybe we ought to get this out to Bruno before it gets cold.
I had fun.
Well, so did I.
Maybe we should do this again sometime.
How about tonight? Oh, I don't know about that.
It sounds tempting, but I'd hate to be responsible for your dad having to pay Bruno time and a half.
Oh, let me take care of Bruno.
Yeah, and what are you gonna do, tie him up? Live in a gilded cage long enough, and you find ways to escape.
I didn't think there was a disobedient bone in your body.
I know this great dance club The Peach Pit After Dark.
Have you heard of it? Sounds vaguely familiar, yeah.
I'll get there as soon as I can.
Won't your father be upset? Mm, if I'm happy, he's happy.
And are you? Happy? I don't know yet.
Hey, Steve, coming down to the club, buddy? Well, as soon as I get these tutors out of my way.
in the next 30 minutes.
Ah, the in-depth approach, huh? Don't worry about me.
I know exactly what I'm looking for.
Gorgeous or corrupt? Preferably? Both.
Looks like your first victim's here.
See you later, buddy.
Thanks, pal.
Thanks for responding to my ad.
Let me start by telling you what I'm looking for in a math tutor.
I'm looking for a risk-taker, someone who's willing to combine my entrepreneurship with their academic skills.
You want to pay me to do your work? Exactly.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
I am.
Completely.
But I'll get over it.
Is that a yes? You mean, like, I'm supposed to be the tutor? Sure.
And you'll do all my homework for me? - Yeah, sure.
- You'll take all my exams? Yeah, sure.
Five dollars an hour sound okay? Yeah, sure.
I plan to do my studying on Mars.
How's that sound? Yeah, sure.
Walsh! Keats? What, never seen a girl before? No, no, it's not that.
It's just, I I never knew you were so, uh so Intellectual? Come on.
I got pull around here.
Yeah, well, tell me they've named a drink after you, and I'm yours.
Otis, my man.
Everything's all set.
Oh, David, listen, um, I'm really sorry about earlier.
I was really out of line.
Forget it.
No.
How's your mom doing? She's, uh She's fine.
Kelly told me what's going on.
Yeah, uh, well, I-I got her into an apartment.
You know, maybe it'll, uh make it a little easier.
Listen, if you ever need anybody to talk to, I've got a lot of experience with crazy parents.
Yeah.
Doesn't everybody? Well, some parents are crazier than others.
Look, uh, you want me to tell Ray to get ready to go on? Yeah, yeah 20 minutes.
All right.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Hey, how's it going? Man, you want to go on instead of me? Why? What's wrong? I'm nervous.
Come on, man, you're ready for this.
I hope so.
Well, ready or not, you're going on at 10:00.
Hey, the Kormans want to come in and say hi.
All right.
Hi.
Ray, you remember Jerry and Barbara Korman.
And this is their daughter Jessica.
Hey, how you doing? Thanks for coming.
Looking forward to hearing you sing Donna's raved.
Well, advance billing is hard to live up to.
Yeah, well, if anything, I undersold.
Got any soda or chips or something? Jessica Not up here, sweetie.
This isn't much of a dressing room.
Uh, excuse her.
She's used to a larger venue.
Well, I hope you guys enjoy the show.
Oh, I'm sure we will.
But we're not the ones you have to impress.
Yeah, Jessica's my barometer.
If she likes you, you're as good as gold.
As far as experimental laboratories go, this place isn't that bad.
I'd say the men have behaved quite well.
The night is still young.
Excuse me, but I can't help but wonder, um, do you have a mirror in your pocket? No.
Why? 'Cause I sure can see myself in your pants.
As you were saying? Men are scum.
Hey, seriously, uh, haven't we met somewhere before? Yeah, we have.
I'm the secretary at your VD clinic.
You cheated.
He was downwind of your perfume.
All's fair in war.
And love? Love's got nothin' to do with it.
Okay.
Hey.
Drowning your sorrows? Make this a quadruple, okay? One quadruple ginger ale coming up.
Mr.
Bardwell thinks I have a math problem.
The man's vicious.
Why? What'd he do? The unthinkable took away my four-day weekends.
Ooh, criminal.
You have to take remedial math? Five days a week.
Five mornings a week.
If I don't pass, I don't graduate.
Well, why don't you get a tutor? Oh, gee, why didn't I think of that? Have you started looking? You wouldn't believe the geek chorus I've been interviewing.
I know I'm going to regret this but I could probably really help you, you know.
Please tell me you'll take my exams for me? No.
I'm going to make your life a living hell.
Huh.
But you'll pass math.
Steve, you made it.
Find a tutor? Yeah.
I volunteered.
Well, she's beautiful, but is she corrupt? I don't think so.
When it comes to math, boys, I play by the numbers.
I bet she paints the same way.
Yeah.
- I'm back.
- Hey.
Maybe I should just paint a big portrait of you on that wall.
What, are you drunk? Not yet.
Want something? No, I'm fine.
Want to dance? No.
Want to go to my place and get naked? So much.
Mmm.
You think anybody will mind if we don't stick around for Ray's show? I think Donna will understand.
Congratulations.
Another big turnout.
Thanks.
Don't let it get to you, Val.
I know.
Got to learn to live with it.
Join the club.
Where have you been? I was beginning to think maybe you couldn't get by Bruno tonight.
Bruno was a little cagier than usual.
Listen, I was thinking, let's not go in here.
Well, why? This is a great club.
Yeah, it is, I just you know, I've been here a lot.
Really? I've never seen you here before.
Mostly I hang at the Peach Pit.
It's next door, and, you know, I know everybody, and The truth is, I bought this place once.
Very impressive.
A bum like you owns a place like this.
It's amazing what money'll buy.
Tell me more.
I'd rather not.
Why are you holding out on me? I just you know, I just don't like the idea of people hanging out with me 'cause of my money.
I'll, uh, keep that in mind.
So do you want to introduce me to your friends? Okay.
Hey, Steve.
Hey, Dylan.
- How you doin', bro? - Okay.
Dylan, didn't expect to see you here.
Well, I didn't exactly plan to be here tonight.
Valerie, uh, this is Toni.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you, too.
Any friend of Dylan's Should have her head examined.
- Steve Sanders.
- Toni.
Nice to meet you.
Yo, McKay! Hey.
Boy, you weren't kidding, man.
You know everyone in this place.
Yeah, I just didn't really expect them to all show up on the same night.
- Hey, B, how you doing? - Hey.
- Why the big turnout? - Ah, Ray's doing a showcase.
Susan Keats, Dylan McKay.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
- Uh, I didn't catch your name.
Toni Marchette.
Nice to meet you.
Ah.
I've, uh, heard a lot about you.
- You have? - Not really.
He's just fumbling for conversation.
It's what he does.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, at long last, Mr.
Ray Pruit.
Thank you.
Would have sold my soul for you Would have lived my whole life through for you Oh, blood, sweat, tears for you But you're running away from me Oh, rebel I see you In the morning sun I try to tell you I'm the one But you're running away from me And why do you keep telling me I'm not the one I used to be Let me tell you why Why I'm still calling Why I'm still falling So, good as gold? What do you say, boss? He's great.
Platinum.
How many times do I need to say Need to say The same thing a different way Everything I ever do is for you You're running away from me When I tell you you're the key You're the key You're everything to me Every truth I ever knew But you're running away from me I'm perfectly capable of walking to my car by myself.
Oh, no, you're not.
I'm escorting you.
It's late, it's dark.
It's a guy thing.
Well, if you're expecting to kiss me good night, you can forget about it.
Actually, I was thinking about proving you right.
I beg your pardon? Number one on your hit parade: "Expecting to score on the first date.
" Well thank you for walking me to my car, Brandon.
It was very nice of you.
A kind word for me? I'm shocked.
Don't be.
It's a girl thing.
Good night, Brandon.
Good night.
All right.
I have three simple rules, okay? You follow them, there won't be any problem.
I'm not very good at following rules, but go ahead.
You're all my witnesses here, okay? One, you do your own homework.
Two, you do my practice problems.
What are you, crazy? I'm not doing any extra work.
Okay, fine.
Then, um, say hello to the geek chorus.
What's your third rule? You break the rules, the price goes up.
Go ahead, Clare, gouge him.
All right.
I was thinking we'll start with about I don't know, ten bucks a session.
Ten bucks an hour, are you crazy? Ten bucks a half-hour, Steve.
That comes out to about 20 bucks an hour for you mathematically challenged people, sporto.
How much for topless? Uh, that you can't afford, Steve.
Sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jolt Records' newest recording star.
Hey, don't jinx it.
Nobody's offered me anything yet.
Eh, don't listen to him, he's as good as signed.
Better practice your penmanship there, Ray.
Yeah.
It's getting pretty late; I better get you home.
I don't want to go yet I like these guys.
Eh, give us time.
Yeah, besides, you've got an early class in the morning.
Yeah, I guess I do.
So does Steve.
Well, it was really nice to meet all of you.
- Nice meeting you.
- You, too.
- Yeah, you, too.
- Nice meeting you, also.
Wait right here, I'll get the check.
Beautiful girl.
Hadn't noticed.
You expect me to believe that? You can believe whatever you want.
Talk about your Capulets and your Montagues.
You're headed for a tragic ending, Romeo.
This isn't Shakespeare, Brandon.
Oh, no, but it is classic McKay.
Brandon, it was a pleasure to meet you.
Same here.
Ready? - Yeah.
- Good night.
Good night.
This is not a house.
This is more like a castle.
I'm surprised you people don't have a moat.
My dad started from nothing, and all this reminds him of how far he's come.
Sounds like you're his biggest fan.
I'm a daddy's girl and proud of it.
I know the answer to your question.
What question? Am I happy? Oh, yeah, that question.
Well? Yeah.
Bruno.
Who is that kid? Some guy she met on campus.
Check him out.
Morning.
What are you doing up? I've got a busy morning.
I've got a lot of stuff to do today.
Oh, no, come back to bed.
No, I can't.
You sleep.
I made you breakfast.
I have to get up.
I have a class at 10:00.
I'll be at the club all day, if you need me, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
- See you.
- Bye.
Hello? Hello, is Colin Robbins there? No, you just missed him.
Can I ask who's calling? Yes, would you tell him Claudia from New York.
Just a minute, let me get something to write with.
Mm-hmm.
Does he have your number? Yes, he has it.
Just tell him Claudia at the gallery.
Oh"at the gallery".
Sure, I'll tell him you called.
Thank you.
Bye.
I can't believe you ran my column.
Well, I decided, if you wanted to hang yourself, I might as well give you the rope.
So, am I dead yet? A dissenting view, no matter how misinformed, never hurts circulation, which is why I'm giving you one column a week, And you're welcome.
Thank you.
I'll only accept on one condition, though.
Have dinner with me.
Uh, why would I want to do that? Why not? Because we have nothing in common.
In fact, you really get on my nerves.
You're one of the most antagonistic people I have ever met.
So, you like Italian? You haven't listened to a word I've said.
It must be a guy thing.
- Bye, Walsh.
- Bye, Keats.
Funny column.
Phone's been ringing off the hook.
- Any more good news? - Yeah.
He's got a cute butt.
Tell me about it.
Getting an early start? You know it.
What's all this for? It's the only way to reach the top.
Little tip I got from Michelangelo.
Well, the trouble is, when you step back to admire your work, it's a long way down.
I'll keep that in mind.
Come on in, I'll buy you some breakfast.
Get some of the guys to give you a hand.
That'd be grand; thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Quite a show you put on here last night.
How would you know? You left early.
I saw the size of the crowd.
You really packed this place.
Well, a lot of people are gonna see your mural.
Yeah, could be good for me.
That's the general idea.
Need any help? Some inspiration, maybe? Everyone can use a little of that.
Yeah, even me.
Even though it's not exactly inspiration.
It's more like a dream.
Dreams are good.
I've had this one since I was 15 years old with braces on my teeth.
I've always dreamed about kissing you.
I'm flattered.
Oh, who am I kidding? It was just a fantasy.
Thanks.
I'll never forget that.