Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s08e27 Episode Script
Reunion
Why, Noah, there's a corsage in my cereal bowl.
It's guilt payment.
What, for not going to my reunion? You'd be bored.
Well, it can't be as boring as working on the committee with that Michelle Ashley.
She's a friend.
Besides, I volunteered.
Well, she coerced you a little bit.
So? She's up to her eyeballs at Stanford Law.
And you get stuck with all the grunt work, huh? What have we got here? Class of '93.
"Where are they now?" So, hey, hi.
I was wondering Did you call back the fact checker from Metro L.
A.
? - Biz kids article? - Mm-hmm.
I gave them an interview That's enough.
And you're changing the subject here.
Hmm.
Oh, that pamphlet is just filled with a bunch of inside dirt, that's all.
"Alumni: Who are they dating, and where are they now?" Don't know.
Didn't read it.
I remember someone reading it all last night.
- Give it to me.
- No, no, no, no.
Come on, give it to me.
This could be tasty.
Let's see what we got here.
Ah, we struck gold.
"Donna Martin, our last vestal virgin.
" Noah, come on.
Wait, wait, this is good.
"Most women spontaneously combust "if they don't have sex by the age of 18.
Will Donna come dressed as a cinder?" That's good.
- You got more here.
- No.
Really, it's, um, just it's kid's stuff.
It's-it's silly.
It's just see, a bunch of pages.
It's oh, my, it's blue.
And it's gone.
Cinder? That's good.
Ooh, boy.
AngfV? Val, yeah, you're damn right I'm angry.
David, all I did was tell the truth.
Val, I write jingles.
- Okay, I'm not a rock star.
- Well, you were when I answered the questionnaire.
I had one hit song, Val.
One, and then I walked away.
David, I didn't know you were elected most talented.
Obviously not the most accurate description.
Well, don't you want them to still think you are? Val, has it ever occurred to you that I might find my lack of success the least bit humiliating? Okay.
Say we go to the reunion.
Who would know? I would, Val.
I would.
"Andrea Zuckerman.
Married, Yale Med.
" "Andrea Zuckerman, heard she had a kid.
" "Andrea Zuckerman, Andrea Zuckerman" And the winner is Andrea Zuckerman.
In '93, you two might have shared most likely to succeed, but in '98, forget it.
Your fellow alumni have elected her grand pooh-bah.
Anything in there regarding Kelly Taylor? Joy I still rate cutest.
This is a crime? It doesn't exactly speak of a future bright with options.
Uhhuh.
Is she in yet? Uh, Flight 227, arrived early.
Ah.
-Typical Andrea Beat us to the terminal.
Early marriage, early baby, early admission to med school.
Is there anything our Wonder Woman can't do? It would appear not.
Jesse, will you stop shouting at me! Because I don't want to be changing diapers for the rest of my life, okay? Hey, is it my fault that you didn't make partner? - Hey.
- Hi.
Jesse just, uh he just made partner.
It's great, honey.
Hi, Hannah.
Yeah, give Mama a kiss.
I love you, too, baby.
Bye-bye.
Hi.
Hey.
It's a tough life, but somebody's got to live it.
Hi.
Whoo! - You guys look terrific.
- Thanks.
Have you been crying? Hey, I'm just happy to see you.
Come on.
Let's go.
Get that, babe.
Okay, caterers and booze: Check.
Next: Last minute ins and outs.
Anyone? Out-of-towners.
Disaster looming.
Hotel De Lys overbooked.
We've got 50 RSVPs - we hadn't counted on.
- Already into it.
Hotel Dauphin said they'd discount us on 25 rooms.
Well, that still leaves Unless they book at the Benjamin.
Cheaper rate, breakfast included.
Donna, you negotiated this? - Mm-hmm.
- At Stanford, you'd make law review.
First, I'd have to get in.
That's right They only sacrifice virgins.
They don't actually accept them.
Oh Rumors of my chastity have been greatly exaggerated.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Uh, Ned, on my cue tomorrow night, not before then.
Ãcflmprende? Doofus.
Okay, uh, the Skips fell out, but Donna lined up the Azure Blue.
But the alumni are expecting a name act.
L, uh, took the liberty of placing a call - to David Silver.
- Your boyfriend.
So, did you give it up when his song hit number one? Well, his new girlfriend, Valerie, assured me he'd be happy to make an appearance to help us out.
Score two for Donna.
So, that leaves us with, what, the big speech? Ken Fox is out.
- Family tragedy.
- Well, how about Andrea Zuckerman? Not my fave, but the "where are we now" stuff is overflowing with mushy positives.
All in favor? - Yeah.
-Sure.
- Sold.
Okay, now for the serious stuff.
Dates and dish.
Who's coming with what? Half the good alumni are taken.
Leaving us the unwashed half.
- Gee.
- Um, has anyone seen L.
A.
's most eligible bachelors '98? Here's a stud 23, millionaire club owner, Noah Hunter.
- That's my boyfriend.
- Hmm.
That's weird.
Says here he's single and fancy-free.
Lies.
Unmitigated lies.
My own alumni.
Well, they're just speculating on what kind of bimbo you're going to show up with.
"Huge or humongous breasts?" What kind of portraiture is that? Spell portraiture.
Shut up, Janet.
No, all these girls are wrong.
For who? Why don't you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just do what you want to do? Because I want to prove them wrong.
By pretending that you're someone you're not? I'm not a womanizer.
I'm caring.
I'm sensitive.
I'm deep.
You are? Andrea! Oh, I was counting on a sexy hug.
Give me some pictures.
I want to see Jesse, I want to see Hannah.
- Where are the pictures? - Oh, well, you don't need to really ask 'cause here they are.
Here's Hannah in the pumpkin patch.
- Wait, go to the next one.
- Oh, she's so big.
Isn't she big? And here she is in the snow.
- The rest are self-explanatory.
- She's beautiful.
Thank you.
Wow, this looks like The Front Page.
You guys really built a newspaper.
It would appear we found a few readers.
Oh, hand-delivered every issue, did we? We have covered some very serious topics here.
Brandon got an offer from the Chronicle.
Sweatshops, gay adoption, teen prostitution.
It's not exactly cutting-edge medicine like you're studying at Yale, but -We've done our part for mankind.
Well, it looks like you guys got it all.
We both do.
Oh, except the, uh, little black book.
Glad to see not everything has changed.
- Ah.
- Hmm.
- Why is my number in there? - This this is, uh this is I was just going to chuck this out.
What, you mean the pamphlet wasn't correct? You're not coming bimbette in hand to the reunion? Andrea, don't insult me.
- I'm taking - Me.
L am? He is? - You are? - I am.
I'm taking Janet.
Janet is our resident genius and do-gooder.
Uh, Janet, this is Andrea.
Andrea, this is Janet.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
So, it looks like a, uh, romance is blooming in the office.
What's up? You're L.
A.
's most eligible bachelor.
You tell me.
- Come again? - Don't play innocent.
It's all right there, page 72.
This was supposed to be an article on young entrepreneurs.
What is this? Right, and, uh, the writer didn't ask you anything - about your social life.
- Yeah, I talked about my social life.
I own a club.
Yet no reference to your girlfriend.
- How convenient.
- I talked about us.
Why would I leave you out? You know what? This was obviously voted on in secret.
Beside the point.
It's not beside the point.
Okay, they don't inform the candidates ahead of time.
- Why are you upset? - Because it says right here, "Noah Hunter: Single and free for dating.
" No wonder you didn't want to go to my reunion.
Bobby Mindello, please.
Look, Bobby probably had her own agenda going, okay? What? Ex-excuse me Her own agenda? Oh, I didn't know the writer was a woman.
Uh, yeah, could you hold on, please? Thank you.
Look, I didn't think it was worth mentioning, okay? Yeah, apparently, neither was I.
David.
Ooh, hey, listen, um okay, so I-l was thinking.
We should really go to the reunion.
How about a nice root canal? No, I mean, the the thought of being anonymous, you know? Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex There's a big difference.
I mean, I-l I could be somebody else.
You'll always get your way.
When you're happy to say.
Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex.
Well, what do you think, huh? It's my, uh, newest jingle.
Actually, I-l was really talking about the reunion.
This stinks.
You're right this sucks.
'N Olé Jose's - ls just for me - David! David, David, listen.
What? I want to go to the reunion.
I really do.
I mean, the thought of being somebody else for a change, and, and now with Donna's call.
Donna's call? Yeah, the reunion band fell through and they hired a backup one, but they really want a name act, so - So? - So I, I volunteered you.
Isn't that great? I have another one, wait.
Danny Arkadian.
Oh, my God, he was a nimrod.
Wait a minute, who was Danny Arkadian? He got his thing stuck in the Oh, right, when the water overflowed.
That guy? Oh, God, oh, God, look at this.
Janus Kelp.
Uh-huh.
Oh, Andrea, I forgot to tell you the, uh, the committee called.
You're making the speech now.
I can't.
I can't do that.
No, Kenny Fox fell out, you're in.
Come on, you're the only one qualified.
Andrea, you're a great speaker.
- What's wrong? - I'm not doing it.
Please, Brandon.
Please.
What's the matter? I lied.
I'm getting divorced.
You gonna eat those eggs or just shove 'em around your plate? Guess my appetite's not what it used to be.
So what's up? Last night you didn't show up, you didn't call.
I was at the gym.
I had reunion stuff to do.
No.
You're not hungry, remember? Nat.
You rang, my dear? Can I have my check, please? Sure.
Listen to me.
I told the journalist about us.
I did.
What was her name? Oh, oh, Bobby.
Right? Look, I didn't even know they were putting me up for most eligible anything, all right? Take me to the reunion.
Excuse me? I need a date.
Well, since you asked me so delicately.
You're kidding me, right? I mean, it's cool for me not to go before, but now I'm supposed to go because I won some award? Are you gonna take me or not? You're asking me for all the wrong reasons.
Is there a right reason? No, not if you don't trust me.
Should I? This is great.
Look, you don't want to go with me.
You want to go with some magazine article on your arm.
What about couples therapy? Tried it, didn't take.
Well, why don't you try again? Brandon, I went into counseling a month after I got married.
Okay? How about a trial separation? Did that, got back together, and it failed.
So try again.
Brandon, do you actually think that I entered into this divorce lightly? I'm just thinking about Hannah, that's all.
Oh, what do you think I'm thinking about me? Look, I dropped out of medical school because I'm trying to keep my daughter and my marriage together.
It is not working.
I want you to keep this between you and Kelly.
I can't believe you dropped out of school.
I'm not getting into this.
Fine, I understand.
Oh, do you? Since when were you pregnant and married by 18? You know, Andrea, I'm just saying maybe if you'd focus on the positives Oh, my God, Brandon, will you just stop with this New Age Pollyanna stuff? I mean, what do you even know about diapers, money worries, or erythromycin at 4:00 a.
m.
? You've got your whole life ahead of you.
So do you you're 22.
Going on 42.
Andrea, I'm just trying to be your friend on this.
Then stop trying to second-guess me.
Look, I don't do school pranks anymore.
Okay, I've changed.
Screwdriver.
- Phillips or regular? - Phillips.
How? Well, I go to the ballet now and I, I read literature.
Have you ever heard of Call of the Wild? Do you want me to plug her in? Yeah, she's perfect.
No.
You'll see.
Look, I'll talk to you later.
Good-bye.
All right.
Whole wheat or nutrition-less? Think I'll have to go with the whole wheat.
- Okay.
- Hey, Janet, thanks for bailing me out with Andrea today.
Oh, come on, your high school reunion? I can't wait.
Lam freaking out, though, over which dress to wear.
Oh, for appearance sake.
That's important.
Yeah, and I'll be meeting all your friends.
A girl has to look her best, you know.
Uh, Janet, we're going to the reunion together, but it's not like we're really going together, right? Oh, oh, you mean it's not a real date? No, no, it-it's a real date.
It's just It's just? It's a real date.
Toast.
Oh.
David, come on.
Nobody showers for three hours.
Your skin's going to fall off.
David.
David.
Come on, the reunion's not going to be that bad, I promise.
It'll be the same as doing jingles.
You could be a rock star again.
Look, Val, if you want to pretend to be someone else, that's fine.
Okay, just don't try and drag me - down with you.
- It doesn't intrigue you - just a little bit? - Yeah, about as much as Spam.
Look, no one's going to know the truth, okay? I mean, I won't be known as the high school slut anymore.
I mean, I'll be seen as, as somebody who's decent maybe, maybe even lovable.
You know? I already see you that way.
But no one else does.
But they would if, if you would just take me.
It really means that much to you? Yes.
Okay.
But, uh, you owe me.
What did you have in mind? Hmm, I'll think of something.
No, not the tub, David.
David.
I saw Janet this afternoon.
She's very excited about tonight.
Don't blame her.
High times at West Bev.
- It's going to be a gas.
- Mm-hmm.
She's not talking about the reunion.
What then? Oh, me? Yeah, right.
- I don't think so.
- Mm-hmm.
- We've already discussed that.
- Oh, really? Michelle, just put the gravlax on ice.
Thanks.
Nightmare.
Limo's here.
Oh, great, all right.
I'm gonna go pick Janet up at her mom's house and then I'll come back for the rest of the posse.
- Cool.
- See you.
Later, brother.
Brandon, I need help with my zipper.
On my Way- Oops.
Ooh, Donna, you look great, dressed to kill.
- Can you help me with my pearls? - Sure.
So, I see the jewelry, but I don't see the man.
Well, if you're referring to Noah, he's not joining us.
Did you have a little tiff? You know, last week it was all about the value of Noah's gifts.
Now you want personal dirt.
When is it enough for you? Well, I guess if I was named Most Hunkly Stud, I'd be out looking for other women, too.
Oops, saved by the bell.
Buy some nice flowers.
Don't be a schlub.
With super fresh, super fine.
Flowers by Stubb.
Oh thank you.
You're welcome.
Excuse me, this isn't the Walsh house by any chance, - is it? - Andrea.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- How you doing? - Good.
How are you? - Oh, you look great.
- So do you.
I can't believe it's the reunion.
Yeah.
Come on, the last thing I wanted to do was piss off Andrea.
So you second-guessed her to death.
We talked, she disagreed.
Why is it that you always think you can save the world? Not the world, just her marriage.
I see, till death do us part.
It's a vow; I didn't invent it.
- Ow! - Sorry.
Careful.
- Wow! - Aw - Wow.
- Thanks.
You look nice.
Thanks.
Um, I was a little late getting to the flower shop and they were out of corsages, so Well, here, these are for you.
Oh, uh, carnations.
Thanks, they're, they're, they're lovely.
Yeah, what are friends for, right? Oh, come on, we're going to be late.
Uh sorry.
This one is Hannah in the pumpkin patch.
Aw Oh, and this is her first snow.
- Isn't she cute? -Oh - She's so adorable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Baby's so cute.
Man, again with the pictures.
Brandon, she's proud.
Proud of a failed marriage? I don't think so; I think she's afraid.
Did you ever consider that it might take Andrea more strength to leave than it would to stay? You don't agree? I never said we live in a perfect world.
But your ideals exist there.
Don't put me up on a pedestal.
I'm not.
It's usually those with lofty ideals that are the first to sell them out.
It's déjé vu all over again.
Hey, folks, right here.
It'll only take a second.
Come on, right here.
Yeah, that's it.
Here we go, yes, looking good.
Yes, it's showtime.
Kelly Taylor? I don't believe it.
April, hi.
You remember Brandon, right? - Yeah, hey, good to see you.
- Hi.
I'm living up in Pismo Beach now.
Guess what? I'm married.
You, Miss Play the Field? Kel, you'll never guess who.
We literally collided roller-skating.
Ross? Ross, honey, come here a sec.
You married Ross Webber.
Hey, Ross.
Brandon Walsh.
We never met.
I got to West Beverly the year after you graduated, but as sports editor, I was certainly aware of your accomplishments.
Brandon, hey, nice to meet you.
Kel, still cute as ever, I see.
April, did you tell these guys how we met? - Yeah.
- Ross, what's going on? Don't forget our drink later on.
All right, count on two, bro.
So, uh, April mentioned you, Brandon.
You got yourself a newspaper, right? Yeah, yeah, actually, me and my friend S Ross Webber.
Excuse me.
You got married? Yeah, sure did.
Hey.
What's going on? Why'd you take off? Uh, I just needed a little breather.
Look, if this is about Andrea No, no, I'm not mad at you.
- Okay.
- Brandon.
- Glad to see you, man.
- Hey, Bernie.
HEY, âOW you doing'? - You remember Kelly Taylor.
- Hi.
What've you been doing, man? Hi! Hey.
Becky, keep your entrance ticket.
Your number could win you a trip to Paris.
-Mmm.
It's got a nine in it.
- Okay.
- Brandon.
Oh, you can have mine.
Hi.
I'm Valerie Malone, - Disaster Relief LA.
- Thanks.
Yeah.
So, Donna, where's this Noah Hunter, LA' s Most Pictorafl? Oh, didn't you hear? Sir Noah's holding court at his Beverly Hills hideaway, - The After Dark.
- He stood you up? But you'd better hurry, because every gold digger in town'll be lining up to kiss his ring.
Val, you're exaggerating.
Am I? In my right hand, we have every airhead in heat west of Doheny or, in my left hand, we have the West Beverly Hills.
High School Reunion.
Hmm.
Nah, you know what? He'd never cheat on you.
Look at the jewelry he bought you.
Just like her to leave me with all the loose ends.
Hi.
I'm Valerie Malone.
I work with the poor.
Oh.
Hold on, only take a second.
Squeeze closer.
Come on, get a little closer.
Steve, come on man, put your arm around her.
There you go.
Steve Sanders, is that you? Rhonda Mogley? Mr.
Seidel's Chem Lab, Rhonda? You look, uh you look terrific.
Well, actually, uh, David and I met at the "Save The Children Tokyo.
" - So, David's into it, too? - Val.
- Hey, I've been looking for you.
- Yeah? Oh, David, tell me.
How did all your rock 'n' roll work leave time for Save The Children? I'm sorry I-I was telling Michelle that, um, we met while you were appearing in Tokyo.
Remember? TOKYO? David? Japan? Yeah, after your Beck concert.
Tokyo.
Right? Remember? Actually, um, Valerie's lying.
I-I wasn't in Japan until after all my success at Lollapalooza, not Beck.
I forgot, I forgot, - right.
- And how did you find Japan? Uh the sushi was fresh.
Yeah.
Biology remember? The frog thing.
You know you had to take me to the nurses station.
The frog thing? Anyway So, I, um, heard about Jay's little prank.
And I've got one of my own.
("Oh? _Y°u game')" I don't know.
We could, um, make up for some lost time.
Hmm.
I might like that.
Good.
We'll have some fun.
Toodles.
People, we paid good money for this band.
Let's dance.
- Oh, no, no.
- Dance.
- Not me.
- Okay.
Uh, I don't dance in public.
I always feel like a baboon.
Thanks for the intro to Rhonda.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on, let's dance.
Come on.
Big sense of humor? - Jesse? - Yeah.
Since when? Since my daughter brought him out.
Just like Val brought you out.
Oh, Val brought me out of my shell? When you were headlining in Tokyo.
You know, when you got that animated film and Val got you to score it.
Well, David's really shy about the whole thing.
See, when I was in Tokyo working with the poor Wait, hold on, I'm sorry.
You were working with the poor in In Tokyo? Yeah.
Really, were you? It was, uh It was one of the outer islands.
Um, after-after the earthquake.
Kobe is not an outer island.
N11 Kelly, did you, uh Did you know about this? No, no.
Well, actually, it was, um, a different earthquake.
It was, uh Kashawahrwa Island.
Kashawahrwa? - Island? - Wa, yeah.
I never heard of it.
Andrea, you mind if we look at these pictures of your daughter again? Did you see these? - This one - Yeah.
I need another drink.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
- See this key? - Yeah.
One of two that unlocks the boys locker room.
Hmm? Planning a late night workout, are you? Planning a, uh, late night shower.
With you.
A little fantasy enactment.
Make sure the water's nice and hot.
- Mmm.
- Be back in 15.
- Oh.
- Toodles.
Good God! I'm sorry, I got hung up at the, uh, punch stand.
You said this was a real date.
It is a real date, Janet.
It's just not a real, real date.
Oh, Janet Janefl.
What're you doing out here? Trying to learn this stupid speech.
Mmm.
Most useful thing I learned in high school.
How to run in circles.
Pretty sad, huh? Not as sad as all that lying going on in there.
What, you mean, uh, Steve using Janet? And Bernie Torgov and his wheat futures.
Rebecca Delgado and her film career.
Val and her charities.
All garbage.
And David? Same poker as Val.
And, uh, me? I don't understand why you just can't tell people the truth.
Brandon, the truth is not that simple.
Those people aren't your friends? Yeah, they are.
But I thought I had one true friend.
And when I needed him most, he made me second-guess myself.
I was only trying to help.
That's right.
You're perfect, you never make mistakes.
If you don't include lust, envy, greed, sloth.
I cheated on Kelly.
And you, uh You put that in the paper, you made it public? Of course not.
Then why should I? Fay, the man's got more money than God.
Just introduce yourself.
No.
The Metro LA piece said Noah Hunter's into skydiving, right? Tell him I'm at the bar, I sprained my ankle in a jump.
And you reinjured it crossing the dance floor.
Better.
One look at my stilettos, plus the skydiving, I'm in.
But you've never even been skydiving.
No, but I read about it.
No, but I read about it.
I just want to say it's been peachy being you tonight.
Thank you.
What kind of crack is that, Valerie? Well, I've been playing Miss Goody Two-shoes all night.
It's been wonderful.
Thank you.
Ooh, "Kelly is a slut.
" Must be a different Kelly, right? I wish.
Snow White has a past? Oh, do tell.
You find that amusing, do you? Ironic.
You of all people ought to know how something like that could stick.
How people come back to haunt you.
Any people in particular? Ross Webber.
Mr.
Congeniality? Couldn't have missed him.
A couple years older than everybody.
The just-married guy? Yeah.
He did this? He started it.
He was a senior.
I was a freshman.
And one night after a ballgame, we went up to Mulholland.
And he took me in the bushes.
Tell me it wasn't your first time.
Over in a minute.
Ross left me in the dirt.
Never talked to me again.
And afterwards, uh, the whole school knew, huh? I kinda got a rep for being easy.
I tried avoiding him.
In the hallways.
And at school events.
After a year or so, it just sort of faded.
And tonight? Bastard tried to shake my hand.
So, let me get this right.
You sprained it jumping out at Del Monte, huh? That's right.
And the stiletto heels? My other shoes hurt too much.
Right, so that'd make 'em what, six, seven inches high? Just so you know, Del Monte They can pineapples in Hawaii.
The drop zone you're talking about is called El Monte.
- That's the one.
- Yeah, well, they paved it over in 1953.
Nice try.
Thank you.
My cheapest gin.
Goes great with your see-through blouse.
Jake, my tab, whatever they want, then throw them out.
You, too.
Hey.
We've got a two drink minimum here.
Hi.
I know how this looks.
Yeah, you were jealous, right? Yeah, it's the article.
I can't believe you were spying on me in my own club.
That's as chintzy as that girl's sprained ankle.
And now, straight from his coast-to-coast tour of Japan, West Bev High's very own rock star, David Silver.
Na, "a, na, na.
" Baby, it's you, girl.
We got it together Rhonda, is that you? Damn.
Whatever she's having.
Ross Webber.
Valerie Malone, right? You work with the poor.
Where did you hear that? I know people.
Were you talking about me, or were you purposely asking? I'm married.
So you did ask.
Tell me how does someone like you come to work in the charity world? Well, my coworkers say it comes from some deep hurt, usually in your teenage years.
Ah.
You had an experience.
Yeah, in the ninth grade.
Some guy took me into the bushes and never spoke to me again.
A guy who probably thinks I forgot.
A guy who blabbed it to all the other guys.
A guy with a big mouth and a weak handshake.
An insecure guy, a lying type of guy.
A guy who's too stupid to realize that people are onto him.
Even now.
Maybe even from a corner in this room.
Rhonda? Is that you? Baby, you all lathered up? Sure am.
- Where are you? - By the door.
I've been waiting for this for years.
Does the name "Gomer" ring a bell? Gomer? Uh, no, I I don't recall any Gomer.
I never did get over how you used to call me that.
See, I was a geek.
I had no chest.
But I grew up, didn't I? I think you're confusing me with With some other incredibly insensitive jerk? I don't think so.
But now it's time for revenge.
See, now you can see how it feels.
Toodles.
My clothes.
Hello, everybody.
Quiet down.
The time has come for tonight's speech.
I give you our Valedictorian, Andrea Zuckerman.
Not up for the big rah-rah speech, huh? I've told enough lies as it is.
Well, I'll go public if you go public.
Blaze me a trail of imperfection.
Okay.
I know this is, uh this is kind of ironic, me, uh, filling in for Andrea.
'Cause, for most of my high school career, I I wanted to be Andrea Zuckerman.
Oh, yeah, it's true.
I mean, she was she was the brightest, she was the wittiest, she got the best grades.
I wanted to live in her shoes.
Unfortunately, they were about six sizes too small.
You know, listening to all you guys here tonight, I I realize that half of you want to be someone else, too.
I mean, the lies that you've all been telling.
Come on.
We've been out of school for five years.
So we haven't taken over the world yet.
It's okay.
It's okay to be who we are.
I wish I could agree.
Because as much as we try, as much as we want to control events, we can't control them all.
But what can we do? We can stand by our friends.
Not for what they might become, but for who they are now.
To the truth.
Truth! Excuse me.
Hi.
Um you know what, I've I've-I've got a confession to make.
I know you all think I've had a pretty, uh, well, meteoric career, you know, with a hit song and everything.
This new piece is a little more in tune with who I am.
Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex.
There's a big difference.
You'll always get your way.
When you're happy to say.
Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex.
Yeah.
Oh, say, aren't you Noah Hunter? Excuse me, miss.
You ever been skydiving in Del Monte? Hey.
I haven't seen you all night.
How has the party been for you? Enlightening.
Uh, listen, Kel, um you know, I've been thinking about my, um lofty ideals, and you're right.
I haven't Like you said, it's okay to be who we are.
Andrea? Would you like to dance? Bernie.
I'd, uh I'd love to.
Um, how have you been? The truth? I just got divorced.
Continued good luck with the poor, Valerie.
Thank you.
Hi, Janet.
I got you a corsage.
You know, to get a corsage at at 3:00 in the morning, a a guy's got to go way, way downtown to the Flower Mart.
You've really got to care about someone a lot to do something like that.
You really have got to have screwed up.
I'm sorry.
I'd like to go out with you again.
Um, I don't think that's such a good idea, Steve.
But I will see you at work on Monday.
It's guilt payment.
What, for not going to my reunion? You'd be bored.
Well, it can't be as boring as working on the committee with that Michelle Ashley.
She's a friend.
Besides, I volunteered.
Well, she coerced you a little bit.
So? She's up to her eyeballs at Stanford Law.
And you get stuck with all the grunt work, huh? What have we got here? Class of '93.
"Where are they now?" So, hey, hi.
I was wondering Did you call back the fact checker from Metro L.
A.
? - Biz kids article? - Mm-hmm.
I gave them an interview That's enough.
And you're changing the subject here.
Hmm.
Oh, that pamphlet is just filled with a bunch of inside dirt, that's all.
"Alumni: Who are they dating, and where are they now?" Don't know.
Didn't read it.
I remember someone reading it all last night.
- Give it to me.
- No, no, no, no.
Come on, give it to me.
This could be tasty.
Let's see what we got here.
Ah, we struck gold.
"Donna Martin, our last vestal virgin.
" Noah, come on.
Wait, wait, this is good.
"Most women spontaneously combust "if they don't have sex by the age of 18.
Will Donna come dressed as a cinder?" That's good.
- You got more here.
- No.
Really, it's, um, just it's kid's stuff.
It's-it's silly.
It's just see, a bunch of pages.
It's oh, my, it's blue.
And it's gone.
Cinder? That's good.
Ooh, boy.
AngfV? Val, yeah, you're damn right I'm angry.
David, all I did was tell the truth.
Val, I write jingles.
- Okay, I'm not a rock star.
- Well, you were when I answered the questionnaire.
I had one hit song, Val.
One, and then I walked away.
David, I didn't know you were elected most talented.
Obviously not the most accurate description.
Well, don't you want them to still think you are? Val, has it ever occurred to you that I might find my lack of success the least bit humiliating? Okay.
Say we go to the reunion.
Who would know? I would, Val.
I would.
"Andrea Zuckerman.
Married, Yale Med.
" "Andrea Zuckerman, heard she had a kid.
" "Andrea Zuckerman, Andrea Zuckerman" And the winner is Andrea Zuckerman.
In '93, you two might have shared most likely to succeed, but in '98, forget it.
Your fellow alumni have elected her grand pooh-bah.
Anything in there regarding Kelly Taylor? Joy I still rate cutest.
This is a crime? It doesn't exactly speak of a future bright with options.
Uhhuh.
Is she in yet? Uh, Flight 227, arrived early.
Ah.
-Typical Andrea Beat us to the terminal.
Early marriage, early baby, early admission to med school.
Is there anything our Wonder Woman can't do? It would appear not.
Jesse, will you stop shouting at me! Because I don't want to be changing diapers for the rest of my life, okay? Hey, is it my fault that you didn't make partner? - Hey.
- Hi.
Jesse just, uh he just made partner.
It's great, honey.
Hi, Hannah.
Yeah, give Mama a kiss.
I love you, too, baby.
Bye-bye.
Hi.
Hey.
It's a tough life, but somebody's got to live it.
Hi.
Whoo! - You guys look terrific.
- Thanks.
Have you been crying? Hey, I'm just happy to see you.
Come on.
Let's go.
Get that, babe.
Okay, caterers and booze: Check.
Next: Last minute ins and outs.
Anyone? Out-of-towners.
Disaster looming.
Hotel De Lys overbooked.
We've got 50 RSVPs - we hadn't counted on.
- Already into it.
Hotel Dauphin said they'd discount us on 25 rooms.
Well, that still leaves Unless they book at the Benjamin.
Cheaper rate, breakfast included.
Donna, you negotiated this? - Mm-hmm.
- At Stanford, you'd make law review.
First, I'd have to get in.
That's right They only sacrifice virgins.
They don't actually accept them.
Oh Rumors of my chastity have been greatly exaggerated.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Uh, Ned, on my cue tomorrow night, not before then.
Ãcflmprende? Doofus.
Okay, uh, the Skips fell out, but Donna lined up the Azure Blue.
But the alumni are expecting a name act.
L, uh, took the liberty of placing a call - to David Silver.
- Your boyfriend.
So, did you give it up when his song hit number one? Well, his new girlfriend, Valerie, assured me he'd be happy to make an appearance to help us out.
Score two for Donna.
So, that leaves us with, what, the big speech? Ken Fox is out.
- Family tragedy.
- Well, how about Andrea Zuckerman? Not my fave, but the "where are we now" stuff is overflowing with mushy positives.
All in favor? - Yeah.
-Sure.
- Sold.
Okay, now for the serious stuff.
Dates and dish.
Who's coming with what? Half the good alumni are taken.
Leaving us the unwashed half.
- Gee.
- Um, has anyone seen L.
A.
's most eligible bachelors '98? Here's a stud 23, millionaire club owner, Noah Hunter.
- That's my boyfriend.
- Hmm.
That's weird.
Says here he's single and fancy-free.
Lies.
Unmitigated lies.
My own alumni.
Well, they're just speculating on what kind of bimbo you're going to show up with.
"Huge or humongous breasts?" What kind of portraiture is that? Spell portraiture.
Shut up, Janet.
No, all these girls are wrong.
For who? Why don't you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just do what you want to do? Because I want to prove them wrong.
By pretending that you're someone you're not? I'm not a womanizer.
I'm caring.
I'm sensitive.
I'm deep.
You are? Andrea! Oh, I was counting on a sexy hug.
Give me some pictures.
I want to see Jesse, I want to see Hannah.
- Where are the pictures? - Oh, well, you don't need to really ask 'cause here they are.
Here's Hannah in the pumpkin patch.
- Wait, go to the next one.
- Oh, she's so big.
Isn't she big? And here she is in the snow.
- The rest are self-explanatory.
- She's beautiful.
Thank you.
Wow, this looks like The Front Page.
You guys really built a newspaper.
It would appear we found a few readers.
Oh, hand-delivered every issue, did we? We have covered some very serious topics here.
Brandon got an offer from the Chronicle.
Sweatshops, gay adoption, teen prostitution.
It's not exactly cutting-edge medicine like you're studying at Yale, but -We've done our part for mankind.
Well, it looks like you guys got it all.
We both do.
Oh, except the, uh, little black book.
Glad to see not everything has changed.
- Ah.
- Hmm.
- Why is my number in there? - This this is, uh this is I was just going to chuck this out.
What, you mean the pamphlet wasn't correct? You're not coming bimbette in hand to the reunion? Andrea, don't insult me.
- I'm taking - Me.
L am? He is? - You are? - I am.
I'm taking Janet.
Janet is our resident genius and do-gooder.
Uh, Janet, this is Andrea.
Andrea, this is Janet.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
So, it looks like a, uh, romance is blooming in the office.
What's up? You're L.
A.
's most eligible bachelor.
You tell me.
- Come again? - Don't play innocent.
It's all right there, page 72.
This was supposed to be an article on young entrepreneurs.
What is this? Right, and, uh, the writer didn't ask you anything - about your social life.
- Yeah, I talked about my social life.
I own a club.
Yet no reference to your girlfriend.
- How convenient.
- I talked about us.
Why would I leave you out? You know what? This was obviously voted on in secret.
Beside the point.
It's not beside the point.
Okay, they don't inform the candidates ahead of time.
- Why are you upset? - Because it says right here, "Noah Hunter: Single and free for dating.
" No wonder you didn't want to go to my reunion.
Bobby Mindello, please.
Look, Bobby probably had her own agenda going, okay? What? Ex-excuse me Her own agenda? Oh, I didn't know the writer was a woman.
Uh, yeah, could you hold on, please? Thank you.
Look, I didn't think it was worth mentioning, okay? Yeah, apparently, neither was I.
David.
Ooh, hey, listen, um okay, so I-l was thinking.
We should really go to the reunion.
How about a nice root canal? No, I mean, the the thought of being anonymous, you know? Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex There's a big difference.
I mean, I-l I could be somebody else.
You'll always get your way.
When you're happy to say.
Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex.
Well, what do you think, huh? It's my, uh, newest jingle.
Actually, I-l was really talking about the reunion.
This stinks.
You're right this sucks.
'N Olé Jose's - ls just for me - David! David, David, listen.
What? I want to go to the reunion.
I really do.
I mean, the thought of being somebody else for a change, and, and now with Donna's call.
Donna's call? Yeah, the reunion band fell through and they hired a backup one, but they really want a name act, so - So? - So I, I volunteered you.
Isn't that great? I have another one, wait.
Danny Arkadian.
Oh, my God, he was a nimrod.
Wait a minute, who was Danny Arkadian? He got his thing stuck in the Oh, right, when the water overflowed.
That guy? Oh, God, oh, God, look at this.
Janus Kelp.
Uh-huh.
Oh, Andrea, I forgot to tell you the, uh, the committee called.
You're making the speech now.
I can't.
I can't do that.
No, Kenny Fox fell out, you're in.
Come on, you're the only one qualified.
Andrea, you're a great speaker.
- What's wrong? - I'm not doing it.
Please, Brandon.
Please.
What's the matter? I lied.
I'm getting divorced.
You gonna eat those eggs or just shove 'em around your plate? Guess my appetite's not what it used to be.
So what's up? Last night you didn't show up, you didn't call.
I was at the gym.
I had reunion stuff to do.
No.
You're not hungry, remember? Nat.
You rang, my dear? Can I have my check, please? Sure.
Listen to me.
I told the journalist about us.
I did.
What was her name? Oh, oh, Bobby.
Right? Look, I didn't even know they were putting me up for most eligible anything, all right? Take me to the reunion.
Excuse me? I need a date.
Well, since you asked me so delicately.
You're kidding me, right? I mean, it's cool for me not to go before, but now I'm supposed to go because I won some award? Are you gonna take me or not? You're asking me for all the wrong reasons.
Is there a right reason? No, not if you don't trust me.
Should I? This is great.
Look, you don't want to go with me.
You want to go with some magazine article on your arm.
What about couples therapy? Tried it, didn't take.
Well, why don't you try again? Brandon, I went into counseling a month after I got married.
Okay? How about a trial separation? Did that, got back together, and it failed.
So try again.
Brandon, do you actually think that I entered into this divorce lightly? I'm just thinking about Hannah, that's all.
Oh, what do you think I'm thinking about me? Look, I dropped out of medical school because I'm trying to keep my daughter and my marriage together.
It is not working.
I want you to keep this between you and Kelly.
I can't believe you dropped out of school.
I'm not getting into this.
Fine, I understand.
Oh, do you? Since when were you pregnant and married by 18? You know, Andrea, I'm just saying maybe if you'd focus on the positives Oh, my God, Brandon, will you just stop with this New Age Pollyanna stuff? I mean, what do you even know about diapers, money worries, or erythromycin at 4:00 a.
m.
? You've got your whole life ahead of you.
So do you you're 22.
Going on 42.
Andrea, I'm just trying to be your friend on this.
Then stop trying to second-guess me.
Look, I don't do school pranks anymore.
Okay, I've changed.
Screwdriver.
- Phillips or regular? - Phillips.
How? Well, I go to the ballet now and I, I read literature.
Have you ever heard of Call of the Wild? Do you want me to plug her in? Yeah, she's perfect.
No.
You'll see.
Look, I'll talk to you later.
Good-bye.
All right.
Whole wheat or nutrition-less? Think I'll have to go with the whole wheat.
- Okay.
- Hey, Janet, thanks for bailing me out with Andrea today.
Oh, come on, your high school reunion? I can't wait.
Lam freaking out, though, over which dress to wear.
Oh, for appearance sake.
That's important.
Yeah, and I'll be meeting all your friends.
A girl has to look her best, you know.
Uh, Janet, we're going to the reunion together, but it's not like we're really going together, right? Oh, oh, you mean it's not a real date? No, no, it-it's a real date.
It's just It's just? It's a real date.
Toast.
Oh.
David, come on.
Nobody showers for three hours.
Your skin's going to fall off.
David.
David.
Come on, the reunion's not going to be that bad, I promise.
It'll be the same as doing jingles.
You could be a rock star again.
Look, Val, if you want to pretend to be someone else, that's fine.
Okay, just don't try and drag me - down with you.
- It doesn't intrigue you - just a little bit? - Yeah, about as much as Spam.
Look, no one's going to know the truth, okay? I mean, I won't be known as the high school slut anymore.
I mean, I'll be seen as, as somebody who's decent maybe, maybe even lovable.
You know? I already see you that way.
But no one else does.
But they would if, if you would just take me.
It really means that much to you? Yes.
Okay.
But, uh, you owe me.
What did you have in mind? Hmm, I'll think of something.
No, not the tub, David.
David.
I saw Janet this afternoon.
She's very excited about tonight.
Don't blame her.
High times at West Bev.
- It's going to be a gas.
- Mm-hmm.
She's not talking about the reunion.
What then? Oh, me? Yeah, right.
- I don't think so.
- Mm-hmm.
- We've already discussed that.
- Oh, really? Michelle, just put the gravlax on ice.
Thanks.
Nightmare.
Limo's here.
Oh, great, all right.
I'm gonna go pick Janet up at her mom's house and then I'll come back for the rest of the posse.
- Cool.
- See you.
Later, brother.
Brandon, I need help with my zipper.
On my Way- Oops.
Ooh, Donna, you look great, dressed to kill.
- Can you help me with my pearls? - Sure.
So, I see the jewelry, but I don't see the man.
Well, if you're referring to Noah, he's not joining us.
Did you have a little tiff? You know, last week it was all about the value of Noah's gifts.
Now you want personal dirt.
When is it enough for you? Well, I guess if I was named Most Hunkly Stud, I'd be out looking for other women, too.
Oops, saved by the bell.
Buy some nice flowers.
Don't be a schlub.
With super fresh, super fine.
Flowers by Stubb.
Oh thank you.
You're welcome.
Excuse me, this isn't the Walsh house by any chance, - is it? - Andrea.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- How you doing? - Good.
How are you? - Oh, you look great.
- So do you.
I can't believe it's the reunion.
Yeah.
Come on, the last thing I wanted to do was piss off Andrea.
So you second-guessed her to death.
We talked, she disagreed.
Why is it that you always think you can save the world? Not the world, just her marriage.
I see, till death do us part.
It's a vow; I didn't invent it.
- Ow! - Sorry.
Careful.
- Wow! - Aw - Wow.
- Thanks.
You look nice.
Thanks.
Um, I was a little late getting to the flower shop and they were out of corsages, so Well, here, these are for you.
Oh, uh, carnations.
Thanks, they're, they're, they're lovely.
Yeah, what are friends for, right? Oh, come on, we're going to be late.
Uh sorry.
This one is Hannah in the pumpkin patch.
Aw Oh, and this is her first snow.
- Isn't she cute? -Oh - She's so adorable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Baby's so cute.
Man, again with the pictures.
Brandon, she's proud.
Proud of a failed marriage? I don't think so; I think she's afraid.
Did you ever consider that it might take Andrea more strength to leave than it would to stay? You don't agree? I never said we live in a perfect world.
But your ideals exist there.
Don't put me up on a pedestal.
I'm not.
It's usually those with lofty ideals that are the first to sell them out.
It's déjé vu all over again.
Hey, folks, right here.
It'll only take a second.
Come on, right here.
Yeah, that's it.
Here we go, yes, looking good.
Yes, it's showtime.
Kelly Taylor? I don't believe it.
April, hi.
You remember Brandon, right? - Yeah, hey, good to see you.
- Hi.
I'm living up in Pismo Beach now.
Guess what? I'm married.
You, Miss Play the Field? Kel, you'll never guess who.
We literally collided roller-skating.
Ross? Ross, honey, come here a sec.
You married Ross Webber.
Hey, Ross.
Brandon Walsh.
We never met.
I got to West Beverly the year after you graduated, but as sports editor, I was certainly aware of your accomplishments.
Brandon, hey, nice to meet you.
Kel, still cute as ever, I see.
April, did you tell these guys how we met? - Yeah.
- Ross, what's going on? Don't forget our drink later on.
All right, count on two, bro.
So, uh, April mentioned you, Brandon.
You got yourself a newspaper, right? Yeah, yeah, actually, me and my friend S Ross Webber.
Excuse me.
You got married? Yeah, sure did.
Hey.
What's going on? Why'd you take off? Uh, I just needed a little breather.
Look, if this is about Andrea No, no, I'm not mad at you.
- Okay.
- Brandon.
- Glad to see you, man.
- Hey, Bernie.
HEY, âOW you doing'? - You remember Kelly Taylor.
- Hi.
What've you been doing, man? Hi! Hey.
Becky, keep your entrance ticket.
Your number could win you a trip to Paris.
-Mmm.
It's got a nine in it.
- Okay.
- Brandon.
Oh, you can have mine.
Hi.
I'm Valerie Malone, - Disaster Relief LA.
- Thanks.
Yeah.
So, Donna, where's this Noah Hunter, LA' s Most Pictorafl? Oh, didn't you hear? Sir Noah's holding court at his Beverly Hills hideaway, - The After Dark.
- He stood you up? But you'd better hurry, because every gold digger in town'll be lining up to kiss his ring.
Val, you're exaggerating.
Am I? In my right hand, we have every airhead in heat west of Doheny or, in my left hand, we have the West Beverly Hills.
High School Reunion.
Hmm.
Nah, you know what? He'd never cheat on you.
Look at the jewelry he bought you.
Just like her to leave me with all the loose ends.
Hi.
I'm Valerie Malone.
I work with the poor.
Oh.
Hold on, only take a second.
Squeeze closer.
Come on, get a little closer.
Steve, come on man, put your arm around her.
There you go.
Steve Sanders, is that you? Rhonda Mogley? Mr.
Seidel's Chem Lab, Rhonda? You look, uh you look terrific.
Well, actually, uh, David and I met at the "Save The Children Tokyo.
" - So, David's into it, too? - Val.
- Hey, I've been looking for you.
- Yeah? Oh, David, tell me.
How did all your rock 'n' roll work leave time for Save The Children? I'm sorry I-I was telling Michelle that, um, we met while you were appearing in Tokyo.
Remember? TOKYO? David? Japan? Yeah, after your Beck concert.
Tokyo.
Right? Remember? Actually, um, Valerie's lying.
I-I wasn't in Japan until after all my success at Lollapalooza, not Beck.
I forgot, I forgot, - right.
- And how did you find Japan? Uh the sushi was fresh.
Yeah.
Biology remember? The frog thing.
You know you had to take me to the nurses station.
The frog thing? Anyway So, I, um, heard about Jay's little prank.
And I've got one of my own.
("Oh? _Y°u game')" I don't know.
We could, um, make up for some lost time.
Hmm.
I might like that.
Good.
We'll have some fun.
Toodles.
People, we paid good money for this band.
Let's dance.
- Oh, no, no.
- Dance.
- Not me.
- Okay.
Uh, I don't dance in public.
I always feel like a baboon.
Thanks for the intro to Rhonda.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on, let's dance.
Come on.
Big sense of humor? - Jesse? - Yeah.
Since when? Since my daughter brought him out.
Just like Val brought you out.
Oh, Val brought me out of my shell? When you were headlining in Tokyo.
You know, when you got that animated film and Val got you to score it.
Well, David's really shy about the whole thing.
See, when I was in Tokyo working with the poor Wait, hold on, I'm sorry.
You were working with the poor in In Tokyo? Yeah.
Really, were you? It was, uh It was one of the outer islands.
Um, after-after the earthquake.
Kobe is not an outer island.
N11 Kelly, did you, uh Did you know about this? No, no.
Well, actually, it was, um, a different earthquake.
It was, uh Kashawahrwa Island.
Kashawahrwa? - Island? - Wa, yeah.
I never heard of it.
Andrea, you mind if we look at these pictures of your daughter again? Did you see these? - This one - Yeah.
I need another drink.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
- See this key? - Yeah.
One of two that unlocks the boys locker room.
Hmm? Planning a late night workout, are you? Planning a, uh, late night shower.
With you.
A little fantasy enactment.
Make sure the water's nice and hot.
- Mmm.
- Be back in 15.
- Oh.
- Toodles.
Good God! I'm sorry, I got hung up at the, uh, punch stand.
You said this was a real date.
It is a real date, Janet.
It's just not a real, real date.
Oh, Janet Janefl.
What're you doing out here? Trying to learn this stupid speech.
Mmm.
Most useful thing I learned in high school.
How to run in circles.
Pretty sad, huh? Not as sad as all that lying going on in there.
What, you mean, uh, Steve using Janet? And Bernie Torgov and his wheat futures.
Rebecca Delgado and her film career.
Val and her charities.
All garbage.
And David? Same poker as Val.
And, uh, me? I don't understand why you just can't tell people the truth.
Brandon, the truth is not that simple.
Those people aren't your friends? Yeah, they are.
But I thought I had one true friend.
And when I needed him most, he made me second-guess myself.
I was only trying to help.
That's right.
You're perfect, you never make mistakes.
If you don't include lust, envy, greed, sloth.
I cheated on Kelly.
And you, uh You put that in the paper, you made it public? Of course not.
Then why should I? Fay, the man's got more money than God.
Just introduce yourself.
No.
The Metro LA piece said Noah Hunter's into skydiving, right? Tell him I'm at the bar, I sprained my ankle in a jump.
And you reinjured it crossing the dance floor.
Better.
One look at my stilettos, plus the skydiving, I'm in.
But you've never even been skydiving.
No, but I read about it.
No, but I read about it.
I just want to say it's been peachy being you tonight.
Thank you.
What kind of crack is that, Valerie? Well, I've been playing Miss Goody Two-shoes all night.
It's been wonderful.
Thank you.
Ooh, "Kelly is a slut.
" Must be a different Kelly, right? I wish.
Snow White has a past? Oh, do tell.
You find that amusing, do you? Ironic.
You of all people ought to know how something like that could stick.
How people come back to haunt you.
Any people in particular? Ross Webber.
Mr.
Congeniality? Couldn't have missed him.
A couple years older than everybody.
The just-married guy? Yeah.
He did this? He started it.
He was a senior.
I was a freshman.
And one night after a ballgame, we went up to Mulholland.
And he took me in the bushes.
Tell me it wasn't your first time.
Over in a minute.
Ross left me in the dirt.
Never talked to me again.
And afterwards, uh, the whole school knew, huh? I kinda got a rep for being easy.
I tried avoiding him.
In the hallways.
And at school events.
After a year or so, it just sort of faded.
And tonight? Bastard tried to shake my hand.
So, let me get this right.
You sprained it jumping out at Del Monte, huh? That's right.
And the stiletto heels? My other shoes hurt too much.
Right, so that'd make 'em what, six, seven inches high? Just so you know, Del Monte They can pineapples in Hawaii.
The drop zone you're talking about is called El Monte.
- That's the one.
- Yeah, well, they paved it over in 1953.
Nice try.
Thank you.
My cheapest gin.
Goes great with your see-through blouse.
Jake, my tab, whatever they want, then throw them out.
You, too.
Hey.
We've got a two drink minimum here.
Hi.
I know how this looks.
Yeah, you were jealous, right? Yeah, it's the article.
I can't believe you were spying on me in my own club.
That's as chintzy as that girl's sprained ankle.
And now, straight from his coast-to-coast tour of Japan, West Bev High's very own rock star, David Silver.
Na, "a, na, na.
" Baby, it's you, girl.
We got it together Rhonda, is that you? Damn.
Whatever she's having.
Ross Webber.
Valerie Malone, right? You work with the poor.
Where did you hear that? I know people.
Were you talking about me, or were you purposely asking? I'm married.
So you did ask.
Tell me how does someone like you come to work in the charity world? Well, my coworkers say it comes from some deep hurt, usually in your teenage years.
Ah.
You had an experience.
Yeah, in the ninth grade.
Some guy took me into the bushes and never spoke to me again.
A guy who probably thinks I forgot.
A guy who blabbed it to all the other guys.
A guy with a big mouth and a weak handshake.
An insecure guy, a lying type of guy.
A guy who's too stupid to realize that people are onto him.
Even now.
Maybe even from a corner in this room.
Rhonda? Is that you? Baby, you all lathered up? Sure am.
- Where are you? - By the door.
I've been waiting for this for years.
Does the name "Gomer" ring a bell? Gomer? Uh, no, I I don't recall any Gomer.
I never did get over how you used to call me that.
See, I was a geek.
I had no chest.
But I grew up, didn't I? I think you're confusing me with With some other incredibly insensitive jerk? I don't think so.
But now it's time for revenge.
See, now you can see how it feels.
Toodles.
My clothes.
Hello, everybody.
Quiet down.
The time has come for tonight's speech.
I give you our Valedictorian, Andrea Zuckerman.
Not up for the big rah-rah speech, huh? I've told enough lies as it is.
Well, I'll go public if you go public.
Blaze me a trail of imperfection.
Okay.
I know this is, uh this is kind of ironic, me, uh, filling in for Andrea.
'Cause, for most of my high school career, I I wanted to be Andrea Zuckerman.
Oh, yeah, it's true.
I mean, she was she was the brightest, she was the wittiest, she got the best grades.
I wanted to live in her shoes.
Unfortunately, they were about six sizes too small.
You know, listening to all you guys here tonight, I I realize that half of you want to be someone else, too.
I mean, the lies that you've all been telling.
Come on.
We've been out of school for five years.
So we haven't taken over the world yet.
It's okay.
It's okay to be who we are.
I wish I could agree.
Because as much as we try, as much as we want to control events, we can't control them all.
But what can we do? We can stand by our friends.
Not for what they might become, but for who they are now.
To the truth.
Truth! Excuse me.
Hi.
Um you know what, I've I've-I've got a confession to make.
I know you all think I've had a pretty, uh, well, meteoric career, you know, with a hit song and everything.
This new piece is a little more in tune with who I am.
Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex.
There's a big difference.
You'll always get your way.
When you're happy to say.
Don't buy condoms.
Buy Condex.
Yeah.
Oh, say, aren't you Noah Hunter? Excuse me, miss.
You ever been skydiving in Del Monte? Hey.
I haven't seen you all night.
How has the party been for you? Enlightening.
Uh, listen, Kel, um you know, I've been thinking about my, um lofty ideals, and you're right.
I haven't Like you said, it's okay to be who we are.
Andrea? Would you like to dance? Bernie.
I'd, uh I'd love to.
Um, how have you been? The truth? I just got divorced.
Continued good luck with the poor, Valerie.
Thank you.
Hi, Janet.
I got you a corsage.
You know, to get a corsage at at 3:00 in the morning, a a guy's got to go way, way downtown to the Flower Mart.
You've really got to care about someone a lot to do something like that.
You really have got to have screwed up.
I'm sorry.
I'd like to go out with you again.
Um, I don't think that's such a good idea, Steve.
But I will see you at work on Monday.