Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s10e04 Episode Script

A Fine Mess

-Steve, of course Janet said no.
- You didn't have a ring.
DYLAN: You didn't get down on one knee.
I think she got the idea.
Hey, if you don't get down on one knee, the girl has gotta say no.
Steve, you gotta tell her.
I've actually been married, Steve, listen to me.
Supplication is the key.
- She's lucky to have him.
- They're lucky to have each other.
- Remember that.
- Ask, get ready to beg.
If she smells fear, you're through.
- You clear on all this, Steve? - Oh, yeah.
Real clear.
You guys have been a tremendous help.
Okay, how he asked you was lame, but he asked you.
Steve's a great guy.
He's the father of your child.
He asked you to marry him, you say no.
I don't get it.
Steve is a great guy.
And I think that someday he'll even be a great dad, but he's also ambivalent.
And I don't have time for that right now.
- I think that's smart.
- Weren't you just leaving? Marriage is hard enough when both people are equally committed.
That's all I'm saying.
Your baby needs a dad.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
All right, check this out.
DYLAN: Ooh, nice.
- Wow.
STEVE: You don't think it's too much? - No.
It's great, considering it's been in your trunk all week.
DAVlD: Dude, what're you waiting for? - She turned me down once.
Part of me thinks I should just leave it at that.
Ah, no way.
Look, show us your proposal.
- I don't think so.
- Yeah.
Noah, be Janet.
- What? - Without my lip gloss? - Steve, come on.
- I'll give it a shot.
Come on.
Come on.
[NOAH SNlCKERS.]
Janet, I know we've been through a lot.
And I know you're worried about my commitment.
But I think you're the most incrediblyugly-- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Hairy knuckles.
I'll never be able fit this-- - You're horrible.
We need to rehearse.
- You're in there, Romeo.
These are for you guys.
For you and you.
Lamaze classes, baby CPR classes, baby-proofing classes.
Sales at the baby store, a to-do list, crib, bunting, doctor's appointments.
The ultrasound so I can find out the baby's sex.
- You wanna know? - For organizational purposes only.
Then I can pick out sheets and clothes and the colour of the nursery.
Weren't we talking about Steve? Don't you see, you guys? I love Steve, but I just have too much to do to worry about him.
You turned him down because you're too busy.
If it were me, I'd take him back, because I can handle his indecision.
A baby can't.
And that's why the answer is no.
I never realised you had such beautiful eyes, Steve.
Really.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
Well, thanks for nothing.
You know, Steve, I expect to be the best man, right? - Yeah.
- Hey, I'm serious.
Best man.
Okay.
She's gonna say no, isn't she? I don't see how she can want your kid and not want you.
- What if she does? Then what? - Brother, you're gonna be fine.
Thanks, D.
[SlGHS.]
- Hey.
- Hi.
You were up awfully early this morning.
I called the house at 8 and Steve said you left.
Yeah, I had an early meeting, but she's late as usual.
Can we try that again? I had an early meeting and she's late as usual.
Now I know I'm in trouble.
Yeah, I was thinking about what you said to Janet last night.
- Has she decided what to do? - She is not going to be with Steve.
You're mad at me because I said marriage is hard? She wanted to imagine it'd be awful, and you helped her do that.
Matt, he threatened the babysitter in front of the children.
And then he drove Mackenzie in the front seat with an airbag.
- Maybe we should go up to my office.
JUDY: I want full custody.
I don't care what it costs.
If he comes to my house again, I want a restraining order.
Okay, Judy, give me two minutes, okay? Ah, ah, ah.
Perfect example of what I'm talking about.
Married 1 7 years to her sweetheart.
The quarterback, the cheerleader.
They thought it was gonna be forever.
Half of marriages end in divorce.
That doesn't mean people shouldn't marry.
I didn't tell Janet not to marry Steve.
All I said was for her to be cautious.
Oh, that's a ringing endorsement.
My experience tells me not to believe in forever.
- And that's all I was trying to say.
- You picked a bad time to say it.
My client's waiting.
[ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER RADlO.]
- Can I help you? - Yeah, I'm here to see Rick Miller.
- And you are? - David Silver.
Heh, the guy from The After Dark.
The one who says that all women secretly wish to be one of Charlie's Angels.
There he is.
Number one with a bullet.
Hey, yeah.
We're doing pretty good, right? Good? You, my friend, got guys calling in by the truckload.
Hey, I wouldn't date a feminist if I were you.
But who would? - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah.
Uh, can I get a minute? You know, I think you might have the wrong impression of me.
Oh, I know.
Because if I got to know you, I would see that deep inner pain that causes you to be a jerk on your show.
Heh, exactly.
I have a meeting but, uh, if you write down your number, I'll give you a call and then you can judge for yourself.
Plus you've got a little bit of a Jaclyn Smith thing going on and I kind of like it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, well.
- We, uh, could've gone to your place.
JANET: Oh, that's okay.
There's a kids' store down the street I wanted to check out.
Uh, are you comfortable? Can I get you anything to drink or--? - I'm fine.
- Okay.
But, um, we might as well just get right to it.
Because I know you wanna talk about Steve.
Actually I don't wanna talk about Steve.
I wanna talk about you.
I think what you're doing is wrong.
I don't need this right now.
Hi.
Hi.
Ugh, what a day I had, heh.
So glad to be home.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Could you give us a minute, please? - Oh.
Oh, right.
Sure.
Um, okay.
Okay, nobody else would say this to you, but I will.
- I think you're being selfish.
- I'm looking out for my child.
How? By pushing him away from his father? GlNA: Sorry.
[SCOFFS.]
DYLAN: I wouldn't have blamed Steve if he ran away, but he did not run away.
He stepped up because you asked him to.
I have to go.
Janet, you got no right to do this.
And you have no right to do this.
Great.
I'll have Noah Hunter call you to confirm.
Oh, please, Wayne's the one you should thank.
He never could stop promoting you.
Great, thanks.
Bye.
STEVE: Janet, I love you.
Marry me.
Oh, that's right.
Cheat on me.
Heh.
Do you mind? [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
- Hi.
- Hey, come on in.
I brought you something.
- What's this? - I got a demo.
NOAH: Let's check it out.
- I thought you might like it.
You need them for tomorrow night, right? Wait a second.
You already checked? Well, I was just listening to the CD and I thought-- Yeah, I did.
Ha, ha.
- All right, thank you.
- Mm.
I've got a great idea.
Why don't you and I go listen to this together? - I'd like that.
- All right.
So how'd you hear about this band anyway? Oh, I think a customer mentioned it at the store or something.
Anyway, try Track 4.
It's the best one.
- Four? - Yeah.
Well, I think it's the best.
- Okay, let's check it out.
- Okay.
[PHONE RlNGS.]
Hello? Is this Gina Kincaid's room? Uh, well, Gina Kincaid is here, would you like to speak to her? - Hey, Gina.
- Hi.
Oh.
- It's for you.
- Great.
Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
Yeah, yeah, this is the right forwarding number.
Mm-hm.
Oh, things got a little cramped at the beach apartment.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's posh, right? Ha, ha.
Listen, I gotta go right now.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Okay, bye.
Oh, Mom, the bathroom floor is heated.
Hi, gorgeous.
[PHONE RlNGS.]
Oh.
Hello? Yes, it's heated.
- Sorry.
Sorry.
- It's okay.
- How you doing? Oh, you're working.
- I'm-- Yeah, I'm good.
Need help? Listen, no.
You know what? You know how into you I am, right? GlNA: Mm-hm.
And I'm very happy that we're together right now.
- Right? - Right, heh.
Well, there's just a little problem with the living situation.
There is? Kind of, because, you know, we never really talked about moving in together.
Oh.
I know.
It just kind of happened.
David kicked you out, Donna kicked me out.
Neither one of us had a place to stay, - and now we do.
DYLAN: Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Yeah, we both got kicked out.
That's true.
But see, I do have a place.
This is my place.
And I just-- Well, I don't know if my place is big enough for two of us.
What? [STEVE SlGHS.]
"Janet, I've been giving it a lot of thought.
' No, that's a little too lawyerly.
"Janet, I know we're in this weird position.
' No, that's weird.
This is a very expensive ring and-- [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
What does a guy have to do to get a little privacy in his own--? - If this is a bad time, I can come back.
- No, no, I was, um, just reading.
- Maxim? - Yeah, well, you know.
Hey, I'm glad you're here.
There's something I wanna say.
- Sit over here, sit over here.
- Listen-- That'll be a little better.
Yeah, that's better.
I want you to stop siccing your friends on me.
- What are you talking about? - What we're going through is very personal and private, and I don't appreciate being pressured.
- lnto making the wrong decision? - lnto changing my mind.
[STEVE SCOFFS.]
Well, I'm sorry if they overstepped.
This is for you.
It's a schedule.
- A schedule? - Mm-hm.
You're the dad, so you should know.
Everything about the pregnancy is there.
- You have an ultrasound.
- I wanna know if it's a boy or a girl.
- Oh, I don't wanna know that.
- Then you shouldn't come.
Because no matter what I want, you're gonna find out the sex anyway.
Why am I not surprised? - You wanted to say something? - Yeah, I did, very badly, but forget it.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SlGHS.]
GlNA: Now, that's for you.
Mm-hm.
WAlTER: Thank you.
Yeah, I'll get that.
Thank you.
Would you get these doors for me? Thanks.
GlNA: Morning.
I got you coffee.
Black, of course.
And-- Oh, I got you eggs, just the way you like them.
And some sausage.
Careful.
- Mm.
- Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
Oh, I got you the paper too.
Here you go.
You can have the front page, I'll read this.
I wanna see about-- Oh, yeah, this is what I wanted to see.
There's an article on New Year's Eve.
It's the millennium.
What do you wanna do? Oh, here.
You read it to me.
[GlNA GlGGLES.]
Go ahead.
[DYLAN SlGHS.]
This isn't gonna work.
- You're not trying, Dylan.
- No, I am trying.
Look, I like the way things are with us.
I don't wanna mess with it.
Oh, I see.
So you're kicking me out to prevent problems? That, and, you know, we're kind of on top of each other here.
- So it's a space issue? - It's a lot of things.
Like what? Tell me the real reason why you're evicting me? Go ahead.
Well, I'm not evicting you.
- You're not? - No.
I-- - Look, Gina, hey-- - Just forget it, Dylan.
Don't even-- Just go to hell.
Got everything you need? CHET: A sound check and we're set for tonight.
All right, man.
Listen, you guys are doing a really good job.
Listen, I wanna thank you for giving us a shot.
I'm making out on this deal.
You guys are gonna be huge.
Big stadiums, world tours, the whole works.
I like the way you think.
You're crazy, but I like it.
Ha, ha.
Well, maybe the world tours can wait but, uh, not the groupies.
- Now, there's a plus.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you'll manage.
If it was groupies I wanted, I'd go into my cousin's line of work.
Chet, if it's groupies you want, there is no other line of work, believe me.
CHET: Beach volleyball.
Your cousin plays beach volleyball, huh? Yeah, one of the best.
His name's Wayne Moses.
- The guy's your cousin? - Yep.
He dated a girl I know.
She say he was a major dog? Yeah, you know, that's exactly what she said.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
All right.
- Steve wanted to propose? - Mm-hm.
Had the ring and everything.
But before he could get down on one knee, Janet took his head off.
So now they're farther apart than ever? Maybe we should all sit down with them or something.
Yeah, skip matchmaking, go straight to intervention.
Well, it worked for me.
Of course I was just an addict.
Being a parent is a lot scarier.
SPENCER: How dare you? - Keep him away from me.
SPENCER: On our anniversary, you stood up in front of our friends, you said how wonderful I am.
Now all of a sudden I'm a threat to you and the children? Why don't you calm down? She's trying to take my children away.
The deposition ended an hour ago, Mr.
Spencer.
Excuse me for taking some time getting over being called-- What was it, "volatile"? I read the papers you filed.
The things you said about me.
You don't even know me.
I miss my boys.
[BOTH SlGH.]
Why don't you go up to my office? We'll wait until we know he's gone.
- Want something to drink? - A coffee.
- Coffee, okay.
- Thanks.
- Sorry about that.
- One of them have an affair? - No, just changed, drifted apart.
- Mm.
- Happens all the time.
- Nothing lasts forever.
That's so depressing.
You have no idea.
[BAND PLAYlNG POP MUSlC.]
- Hey.
- I hate men.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, that's an icebreaker.
They're just selfish and spoiled and they never grow up.
Not all men, Gina, just the ones you seem to be attracted to.
You know, Dylan could be so great.
Oh, so that's why you're with him.
Because he has potential to be great.
Yeah.
And he's extremely sexy.
- I gotta go do my show.
- I'll see you.
Noah.
Hey, I'm expecting Janet.
Have you seen her? I was checking lDs.
We're trying to get them together, they don't even know about it.
I'm a little busy right now.
What do you think of the band? They're great.
Yeah, yeah, they're fabulous.
Do I get, like, drinks on the house, or maybe--? Oh, just a little: "Thank you, Donna" from the stage or something.
Ha, ha.
I know Wayne told you about the band.
- What difference does it make? - What difference does it make? You lied to me.
Would you have hired them if I told you? - That is not the point here.
- So technically, yeah, I lied.
But you were in a tight spot.
I was trying to help you out.
Next time, spare me the favour, okay? Check this out.
[PHONE DlALLlNG.]
[R&B PLAYlNG OVER RADlO.]
You guys will like this.
Watch.
Ahem.
[LlNE RlNGS.]
ROBlN [OVER PHONE.]
: Hello? - Robin, hi, it's David Silver.
- How you doing? - I'm okay.
Uh, you're on the air.
- You okay with that? - No.
I was thinking maybe we could go out sometime.
ROBlN: You are so lying.
- Everyone, say hi to Robin, please.
ALL: Hi, Robin.
Oh, no, no, no.
I will kill you.
You do know this.
I will kill you.
You're gonna have to go out with me first.
All right? - What are you listening to? - FX reruns Quincy on Thursdays.
I was thinking maybe I could bring the popcorn, we can make a night of it.
- You're weird.
- Is that a yes? ROBlN [OVER PHONE.]
: Well [SCOFFS.]
I suppose it is.
MAN [ON RECORDlNG.]
: Goal! [CROWD CHEERlNG AND APPLAUDlNG.]
[LAUGHlNG.]
Thank you.
I mean, Janet might have said yes.
Yeah, if I wanted her to dice my heart into shish kebab-like slices.
Well, you didn't show her the ring.
The ring is the money.
No, the only millions a girl wants from you are those little tadpoles swimming inside your shorts.
All right.
The tadpoles are the money.
DONNA: Oh, there you are.
- Oh, hey.
I'm so sorry, the crib wasn't delivered.
I waited for, like, ever, then I tried to call you and tell you I wasn't coming because I really can't handle this right now.
Janet, wait.
I know you have a thousand things on your mind, but, um, it's important.
It's about Steve.
- Do you wanna marry Janet or not? - Not if she doesn't want me.
Forget about that.
What do you want? - I wanna marry Janet.
- Then ask her.
You know what I'm gonna do? - I'm gonna ask her.
- Ha, ha.
All right.
STEVE: Not without the ring.
The ring's the money.
NOAH: That's right.
- I need to practise.
Oh, Noah, people are gonna start to talk.
NOAH: Yeah, they are.
- Janet, will you marry me? DONNA: You guys are great together.
JANET: I don't wanna be with Steve.
- Steve, hi.
Uh, Janet, look who it is.
It's Steve.
I'm gonna be sick.
So you thought the way I asked Robin out was rude? WOMAN [OVER PHONE.]
: It was disgraceful.
- She said yes.
WOMAN: She's obviously disturbed.
Heh, listen to me, all right? Women love jerks.
Take my friend Doug for example.
[OVER RADlO.]
He steals this girl from his roommate, asks her to move in.
She says yes.
He gets sick of her, kicks her out.
She loves him more than ever.
He wants service with a smile, and guess what? She gives it to him.
Moron.
What the hell is your problem? Huh? Dylan, a simple "thank you" would do.
- For what? - I just turned you into a folk hero.
David, you do not discuss my personal business on your little radio show.
You know what I just realised? Me talking about what a jerk you are is actually making me a star, and I should be thanking you.
My God, Dylan, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
[R&B MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS.]
STEVE: Oh, please.
That's impossible.
I'd like to forget about her, but I can't.
It doesn't sound to me like you have a lot of choice.
She's having my kid.
I didn't say forget about the kid.
I said forget his mom.
Look, Steve, you are gonna be a single parent.
The sooner you make peace with that, the sooner you are gonna see that for the total, utter chick magnet that it is.
What? Oh.
Why don't you tell Gina I said good luck with the house hunting? Right.
Janet.
I like neat.
I like a neat desk, neat drawers.
I like charts and graphs and schedules.
I like order.
I thrive on order, and right now, I don't have order.
I have chaos, and I hate chaos.
Chaos just freaks me out, and chaos is messy.
You are messy.
- Ergo, I freak you out.
- Completely.
- Because I'm messy? - And unpredictable and unreliable.
And I am so completely in love with you it terrifies me.
- Janet-- - Don't, okay? Just [SNlFFS.]
The thing is, Steve, is that you surprise me, and sometimes that is so great.
And sometimes I'm sorry, but I just can't be surprised right now.
- Hey.
- What are you doing here? Matt told me where you'd be.
Look, I wanna apologise.
I'm sorry.
I should have told you how I knew about the band.
Okay, why didn't you? Because I thought it would hurt your feelings.
It's a little late for that.
Look, I am so embarrassed about what happened with Wayne.
It was stupid.
I wish it had never happened.
Yeah? It did.
And it did with you and Cherise too.
I know where you ate, what you did.
I could let this freak me out or I can deal with it.
What happened with me and Cherise was after we broke up, okay? - I wasn't unfaithful.
- Well, it still hurts.
- It's not even close.
- I know.
Look, I know this is harder for you.
But they're out of our lives now.
And as soon as you and l can start focusing on us again, the sooner we can move on with our lives.
This one right here.
Two bedrooms, two bath, hardwood floors, fireplace, - Jacuzzi-- - Oh.
I don't wanna hear about it.
They can make a death camp sound inviting.
Ugh.
- We'll find something.
- No, I'm gonna find something.
Just-- You know what? I don't-- I don't need you.
I mean, I don't need your help.
Don't you think you're making a little much out of this? Yeah, I'm sure somehow it's my fault that you don't wanna live with me.
No, it's not anyone's fault.
It's just not-- It's not the right time.
Or maybe I'm just not the right girl.
I really wanna do this alone, all right? - Yeah, but I wanted to help-- - I wanna do this alone.
Okay? Just go away.
[DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS.]
So that's where your whole radio bit comes from? - Pretty much, yeah.
- You as a loser.
Well, in high school, um, I was 5'4".
I had really big hair, much bigger than it is now, and an extremely high voice.
So you were the trusty, reliable, best friend-- I thought my listeners would appreciate a few tips on avoiding the "l love you, but I'm not in love with you" speech.
I just don't see anybody giving you that speech.
Oh, that's good.
[R&B MUSlC PLAYlNG ON SPEAKERS.]
You wanna dance? You know, is this part of the whole routine? I mean, you know, rule number one: On first date, tell sob story.
No.
Rule number one is make her feel like a queen.
The whole dweeb story is optional.
Let's dance.
Come on.
Yeah, dancing would be good, huh? - Thank you.
- For what? For going out with me tonight.
See, this is nice.
Just you and l.
You know I love you? - What? - I'm sorry.
I just hate your attitude.
I had a difficult marriage.
My parents are divorced.
That just affects how I think.
You don't believe in happily ever after.
That affects how I think.
Just because I worry about our future doesn't mean I don't think we have one.
Let's just-- Let's just forget it.
Okay.
[J U DY LAUGHlNG.]
Isn't that your client? Judy.
Looks like she's having a good time.
You know what? On second thought, I'd like to go home.
Go home just because Judy's having fun? No, because Judy's divorced, and you're divorced, and practically everybody is divorced.
Steve and Janet are getting divorced before they get married.
- She's happy.
I'm happy.
- You're waiting to be unhappy.
It's like you're expecting it.
And the thought that I should be expecting it too depresses the hell out of me.
You're a good dancer.
I'm sorry, what was that? I said I like this.
Instruction manual says the spring goes between the rail and the bracket.
Rail and the bracket.
Of course.
The joys of single motherhood.
Matt could not annoy me more.
Sure he could.
He could be Steve.
[DOORBELL RlNGS.]
Or Noah.
Even a distant third can be quite disturbing.
He has this saying.
He doesn't believe in forever.
It's like the Hallmark card from hell.
- Ow.
- Are you okay? I think the baby just kicked me.
Right here.
- Ooh.
I felt that.
- Ha, ha.
Oh.
Steve's here.
- Just tell him to wait a minute.
- No, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I like messy.
Messy is good.
I thrive on messy.
- Yeah, I know, and that's the problem.
- No, the problem is neat.
It's tidy.
It's meticulous.
I got news for you, Janet.
Life isn't about charts or graphs.
It's about dealing with disorder.
That's what life's about.
Everything that's on that list, Steve, is important.
Doctor's appointments, ultrasounds.
All confirmed, all important, all scheduled.
Well, that must come as quite a relief for you.
Now you can find out the baby's sex and paint the nursery accordingly.
Yeah, well, I care enough to find out.
I care.
I just don't feel the need to prove my affections towards my child to anyone.
I know.
I don't wanna know because I wanna be surprised.
I wanna stand next to you in the delivery room, squeeze your hand when the doctor tells us we're gonna have a boy or a girl.
[lNHALES.]
And then I wanna come home and I wanna trip over that kid's toys and clean up his mess.
His mess.
Our mess.
GlNA: Mm-hm.
Great.
Yeah, it says wall-to-wall carpeting.
What is that, shag? Yeah, that's lovely.
Listen, it says that it's sunny.
Is it sunny? You know what? Just forget it.
I'll come down.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm on my way.
Bye.
On my way to Racita.
You know, I had a client that lived in Racita.
Claimed her neighbour's dog was the reincarnation of her dead husband.
I don't deserve this.
MATT: Judy, I'm glad you're here.
Uh, the next deposition is in an hour and I have a lot of questions for you.
Um, what I wanna do is focus on your husband's temper.
You know, things he said in anger, times he raised his voice.
He's a good man.
- Yeah, I'm sure he is.
- A good father too.
Judy, I will go in whatever direction you're comfortable with.
But this is a custody battle, and custody battles tend to get ugly.
Your husband's lawyers are gonna try to rip you apart.
- We gotta be prepared for the fight.
- We're talking about reconciliation.
Um All right, maybe I had a few too many root beers.
But didn't I see you at the Peach Pit After Dark last night dancing? Hmm? With someone other than your husband? Frank Norton.
Divorced father of a friend of my oldest.
For years, I'd see him at school functions and wonder, "what if?" Now I know.
First kiss, tongue from hell.
[CHUCKLES.]
Judy, I was under the impression there was more to your separation than that.
You sat right here and talked about growing apart.
You sat here and talked about not knowing each other anymore.
I thought those were reasons to give up.
I was wrong.
So now you wanna stay together even though you admit - that what you had didn't last? - What we had changed.
Like a lot of people, we didn't see it happening and we panicked when we realised it had.
But it didn't end.
I don't think it ever will.
- And now you think it's forever? - Yes, I do.
There's the head, and the spinal cord, the feet and toes.
We can estimate the height and weight and project what the baby will be at birth.
- Do you wanna know? - Are you kidding? - I wanna know everything.
- Ha, ha.
- Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
How's my baby? - Doing great.
- How's my girl? - Uh, I'm not really sure.
You know, Janet, I was up late last night trying to figure it out.
Mess, no mess.
I don't care.
We could finish this later.
This isn't how I practised it, but what the hell? - What are you doing? STEVE: Janet, would you do me the incredible honour of being my wife? [LAUGHS.]
Yes, I'll marry you.
I love you.
STEVE: Oops.
- Ooh.
[JANET LAUGHlNG.]
It's perfect.
- How much longer, doc? - Only thing left is the sex of the baby.
Do you wanna know? No, we don't.
It turns out there aren't enough surprises in life.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE RlNGS.]
- Hello? ROBlN [OVER PHONE.]
: Hi, it's Robin.
Robin, hey, what's up? Hi.
I just called to wish you good luck with the show tonight.
- Thank you very much.
- Can't wait to hear about the date.
What? Hold on a second.
Huh? What are you talking about? The date.
The one you set up on the air.
I predict record numbers tuning in to hear how it went.
People are gonna be disappointed, because I'm not talking about it.
Uh-huh, like they're gonna let you talk about something else? Ha-ha-ha.
- Sorry about that.
- No problem.
Listen, you're busy.
Um, I just called to let you know that I'd be listening.
- Okay? So, uh, bye.
- Bye.
[SCOFFS.]
Hey.
Hey, thanks for coming down.
- I owe you.
- You thought you owed Wayne.
Are you sure it wasn't the response to them - that made you change your mind? - Yeah, I'm sure.
I just don't like being reminded all the time.
It's over, you know that.
I know.
- It's this whole, uh, starting-over thing.
- Yeah? Exactly which part would you like to start at? - What do you suggest? - I like this right here.
- Huh? - How about this? I like that.
Heh.
DONNA: Mm.
All right.
Let's go to the phones.
Bill, you're on.
BlLL [OVER PHONE.]
: Hey, I want details on the date.
Lost you, Bill.
Chuck, how you doing? CHUCK [OVER PHONE.]
: I got 20 bucks says you scored.
Did I win or lose? Doug, what's up, buddy? DYLAN: Doesn't feel good being on the other end, does it? Having people talk about you? Or are you not answering questions because the date was a bust? Doug, I'm not answering questions because it's nobody else's business.
Humph.
In other words, you crashed and burned, huh, tough guy? - No.
DYLAN: So you scored? Or is it a question of those who can, do and those who can't just talk about it on the radio? You guys wanna hear about my date? Fine.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
You know, I've, uh, been thinking about what you said.
Expecting to be unhappy.
And, well, you shouldn't have to.
Then why do you? Well, I didn't before losing Lauren.
And after, I guess it just made things easier.
Protected against the downside.
That's no way to live.
[SCOFFS.]
Uh, my client, the one we saw last night.
She and her husband decided to reconcile.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
- Did you hear about Steve and Janet? - Yes, I did.
Don't look now, but you are surrounded by happily ever after.
I hope so.
[PHONE BEEPS.]
ROBlN [ON MACHlNE.]
: It's Robin.
I want you to know that I have never been more humiliated.
Asking me out on the air was one thing, but talking about what we did and how we kissed when you knew that I was listening to the show? I'm sorry, but that is just plain cruel.
[Ll N E DlSCON N ECTS.]
Where you been? I was trying to call you.
I have been in Racita.
I actually rented an apartment in beautiful Racita.
I put a first and last down in Racita, and don't give me the speech about this is the best thing.
It's not.
Well, then luckily for me I have a fallback.
I could get violent.
Even if I said I don't want you living in Racita? My worst enemy wouldn't want me to live in Racita.
How about if I said I want you to stay at the hotel? What'd you say? Will you pinch me? Ha, ha.
What'd you just say? I want you to stay at the hotel, and I made all the arrangements.
Oh, my God, you Oh! Oh, I just knew-- I mean, I didn't-- I didn't know that you would come around, but I just-- I hoped that you would come around.
Oh, we'll have so much fun living together.
Well, you know, it's not exactly together.
You said you want me to stay with you.
- In the hotel.
- Oh.
See, I got you a room, and it's one floor below.
And just for kicks, I entered you in as Mrs.
McKay.
Wait, you signed me in as your wife, but you got me a separate room? - You can kiss Racita goodbye.
- Yeah, along with my self-esteem.
You know, I thought you wanted to stay here.
Dylan, I did wanna stay here.
I wanted to stay here with you.
You know, as your girlfriend.
[SlGHS.]
Not down the hall like some concubine.
- You make it sound cheap.
- Well, it feels cheap.
- You want it or not? - No, I don't.
What, a separate room for services rendered? I guess that's what you think I deserve.
I thought white would be good either way, boy or girl.
We can get unisex stuff and then fill in with the right colour later.
I'm so sorry.
For what? For pushing you away.
For saying no.
For being an idiot.
Come here.
Come here.
[SNlFFS.]
I was just so scared, you know? That I'd let you get close to me and that one day you'd leave me.
That you'd realise that you married me for all the wrong reasons.
That's not gonna happen.
I love you.
And like it or not, you're stuck with me.
I like it.
I have a surprise for you.
- You do? - Yes.
What is it? I think it's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.
That's because this baby looks just like its mother.

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