Bewitched (1964) s03e09 Episode Script

The Short, Happy Circuit of Aunt Clara

- You ready yet, honey? - I'll be right down.
Good.
That'll give me another 10 minutes.
Hook this for me, will you, honey? - Sam.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- There you go.
- Thanks.
How did you manage that when you were single? Oh, I had to use witchcraft.
It was much more dependable, but not nearly as much fun.
Honey, I'm sorry this turned into a business dinner but Larry's dying to land this account.
Mr.
MacElroy's leaving town tonight.
- Have I met him? - No, but you've been in his shoes.
MacElroy Shoes.
One of the biggest in the country.
Shoes for the whole family.
And I don't mind saying myself l've come up with some pretty big ideas.
Dear, what you need is some smaller ideas, or a bigger tube.
The baby sitter isn't here yet anyway.
By the way, who is it? - Who? - The sitter.
Oh, Sam, you didn't.
Well, Darrin, Aunt Clara volunteered and I couldn't say no without hurting her feelings.
Besides, we have to be extra-specially nice to her right now.
- She's just had a big disappointment.
- She flunked the national driver's test? Darrin, don't be ridiculous.
Aunt Clara can barely fly, let alone drive.
No.
She's just broken up with Ocky.
- Ocky? - Octavius.
He's a warlock she used to be very fond of.
But then the old fool met a young witch, and Well, you know the rest.
It's an old story.
Oh, sure, happens every day.
Old warlock runs off with a pretty young witch.
Poor old girl.
As if she didn't have enough trouble.
Okay, she can sit.
But that's all, understand? Yes, darling, I'll tell her.
Aunt Clara, we've got a front door, you know.
I must have let my flaps down too soon.
Good night, dear Aunt Clara, and try to cheer up, huh? Yeah, maybe he'll come back.
- Who? - Octavius.
No, I've forgotten him completely.
That's good, dear.
- I bear him no grudge.
- We won't be too late.
And he's free to do whatever he wants.
- Good night, Aunt Clara.
- Night.
After all, he is over 21.
Boy, is he over.
Still awake, precious? Aunt Clara will sing you a little lullaby.
Lullaby Lullaby Lullaby Lullaby and good night Oh, I wish I wish this were nearer the nursery.
It worked.
Well, you've still got it, old girl.
Mommy.
Oh, dear.
Oh, what's happening? Oh, stop that.
Now, that's no way for a piano to behave.
Oh, I must do something fast.
Piano, piano, that I prize Return to that convenient size Anybody Oh, Mrs.
Kravitz.
So nice of you to drop in.
How'd that piano get up there? What piano? We got out of that one.
Now, let's get out of this one.
Just wait till you see some of Stephens' layouts for MacElroy Shoes.
Fresh, original, inventive.
Naturally, Mr.
Tate made a strong contribution too.
Oh, thank you, Darrin.
That's not only very generous of you but if you hadn't said it, I'd have fired you.
About the layouts, Mr.
MacElroy? I'll be glad to look at them after dinner, if there's time.
Can't miss that plane, you know.
- Delicious roast, Louise.
- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, are you finished already? - I am too.
Me too.
Aren't you, dear? Oh, yes, yes.
Mr.
MacElroy's through too.
Oh, Louise, I can't wait to see what you have for dessert.
Oh, you'll love it.
It's fattening, but you'll love it.
O piano black as night How I wish that you were light What happened? Oh, it's just probably a power failure or something.
No problem.
Keep going, keep going.
Mr.
MacElroy, we'd like to present some ideas for a new slogan.
Thank you, honey.
- Try this on for size.
- Don't like it.
I haven't mentioned it yet.
Maybe we better postpone this until I come back to town.
No, we'll get more candles.
Louise, more candles? Forget the candles.
How about some more brandy? Louise, more brandy, more brandy.
Here you are, back where you belong.
And I did it.
I certainly don't know how.
How should we get the lights back on? Oh, dear.
Now, if that's Darrin and Samantha l'm through as a sitter.
A sitter? I'm through as an aunt.
- Good evening.
- Hello.
We just wanted to find out if everything was all right over here.
Oh, everything's fine.
I've been watching television.
- With no electricity? - Oh, you noticed that.
- Have you got a flashlight in the house? - Well, I really don't know.
Well, here, take this.
We have extras.
Are your lights out too? Oh, for the love of Pete.
The whole Eastern Seaboard is blacked out.
It is? What caused it? They don't know yet.
Well, I hope they never find out.
Excuse me a minute.
- Come on, Gladys.
- Good night.
Hi, Aunt Clara.
Is everything all right? Oh, of course, of course.
Why shouldn't it be? Aren't the lights out? They are everywhere else.
Oh, yes.
The lights are out here too.
Well, what a coincidence.
Well, I doubt if that's what the electric company's calling it.
How's Tabatha? She's sleeping peacefully.
Well, that's good.
I'll check later.
Aunt Clara, you sure everything's all right? Oh, everything's fine.
But everything's fine.
Bye-bye.
Putting the lights out in 12 states.
Could've happened to anybody.
But how am I gonna get them back on again? Oh, I've got to have help.
Oh, I wish Ocky were here.
Maybe I could bring him here.
I can try.
Eyes lik e fishes Nose lik e dishes - Ocky.
- Clara.
It worked.
Well, it worked.
Oh, I still have my touch.
- Clara, my darling.
- Oh, no.
Nothing like that.
No, I called you back professionally.
And then after that you can go back to your little witch.
Clara, I don't want her.
I want to come back to you.
Do you? - You know what she did to me? - What did she do? The little gold digger, "Give me this.
Give me that.
" Grab, grab, grab.
I must've blown a year's magic on her.
I never want to see her again.
Oh, dear.
And then she's so pretty and so young and You're just as pretty as she is.
Oh, no Oh, no, Ocky.
No, no.
Will you please take me back? Well, maybe I will and maybe I won't.
But now I need help.
I've just put out all the lights along the Eastern Seaboard.
- Purposely? - On mistake.
I'll say this, when you make one, it's a beaut.
Let's see, now.
This isn't going to be easy.
Okay.
Let's have a whirl at it.
Eastern Seaboard - Ocky, you did it.
- Yeah.
How about that? What happened? Well, do it again, do it again.
- Now, put a little more zing into it.
- Okay.
- Your hands.
It's your hands, Ocky.
- Are they gone? Oh, no.
No, but you must keep them up to keep the lights on.
Swell.
Abner, you said the lights were out all over.
That's right, all over the East.
So how come they're on across the street? Don't be ridiculous.
They can't be.
No? Come see for yourself.
Have you got that buzzing in your head again? Take a look.
Ocky, did you put your hands down? I had an itch.
Do you mind? The lights are on across the street, huh? - They were.
- You'll be all right, dear.
As soon as the swelling goes down.
Now they're on again.
It's dangerous to stand by the window.
Somebody might throw a rock at you.
Who would do a thing like that? Me, if you don't sit down and shut up.
Now, here's a slogan you're gonna like a lot more than the others, Mr.
MacElroy.
"There's no business like shoe business.
" So much for slogans.
Hi, there, Aunt Clara.
Just checking.
You all right? Good.
How's Tabatha? Oh, fine.
She's sleeping peacefully, like a baby.
How are you doing without lights? Oh, we have lights now.
But the radio said the whole city was blacked out.
How could you possibly have lights? Well, I don't know.
I'm a witch, not an electrician.
Aunt Clara, I don't understand.
How could you have light unless you - Now, listen - You have lights at your place? - Why, yes.
- Well, great.
Let's jump in the car and go over there before this deal goes down the drain.
Hello? We'll be right there.
But But But I'm not calling to complain about my lights being out.
I just wanna ask a simple question.
How come the lights are on across the street? I am not a crank, and if you don't believe me you can check for yourself.
Oh, my niece is coming.
Oh, dear.
Well, I'd rather she didn't see you.
I'd rather she didn't see me either.
Do you mind stepping in here in the closet? You know Do you? Keep your hands up.
Keep your hands up, Ocky.
- Hi, Aunt Clara.
- I really should leave for the airport.
- We'll see that you get downtown.
- Absolutely.
Aunt Clara, don't you have something you'd like to tell me? Tell? Well Now, l I do, but I had a feeling you'd say that.
- I'm gonna go up and check Tabatha.
- Yes, well, take your time, dear.
And another thing.
We think you ought to be using TV.
Darrin, tell him about the spectacular you dreamt up.
- It's a beaut.
- What I had in mind was a big shoe.
Yes, we based the whole thing on "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.
" And we have some marvellous songs.
- "Shoo-Shoo Baby"? - "Body and Soul"? "Buttons and Bows"? - For ladies' shoes.
- Got any brandy? Somebody, a brandy for Mr.
MacElroy.
Darrin, show him the newspaper layout.
You wanna see some really clever copy? - Yes.
- Just wait.
Where's the brandy? Yes, the brandy.
Mr.
MacElroy, we thought we'd start out with Oh, no, not again.
There's a flashlight right there on the table, Larry.
Gentlemen, I really should be leaving.
No, you can't leave before you see this ad.
See? I can't see anything.
That was just a little dance I learned in Scotland.
It's called, "The Wee Kick of the Kirk.
" Bet she knows where the brandy is.
Now what? Never mind, Darrin, I'll get it.
- Yes? - Power company.
We got a complaint about Your lights are on.
How about that? Come on, fellas.
- Now, just a minute.
- We'll have them out in no time.
- What? - I mean, we'll get it fixed.
Find the trouble, check it out.
Darrin, will you get rid of them? Now, just a minute.
My husband's in the middle of something very important.
Everybody in the city was in the middle of something important but I only got two hands.
Fellas, you check the fuse box and I'll go check the wiring in the kitchen.
Aunt Clara, you just wait till I get you alone.
- I didn't - You have some explaining to do.
Now, wait a minute.
I've got a problem here.
I've got a very important client here.
We can use all the light we can get.
- Look, I've got to get to the airport.
- No, no, wait.
No, Mr.
MacElroy, wait.
You've got plenty of time, plenty.
Darrin! Will you forget about him, Darrin? All right, I'll get my own brandy.
Oh, sorry for all these interruptions, Mr.
MacElroy.
I see you got your brandy.
Come on over here and sit down.
Aunt Clara, there's something funny going on around here.
Oh, I wish you'd tell me.
I'm dying to have a good laugh.
- What was that? - Oh, I've got to get out of here.
Now, wait, Mr.
MacElroy.
Mrs.
Kravitz, what are you doing here? Never mind me.
What are you doing here? - Me? - Mrs.
Kravitz, what is the matter? There's something in that closet.
What is it? I thought it was a moth, but it moved.
- That's ridiculous.
- That's ridiculous.
Take a look.
All right.
Wait.
Look, Mrs.
Kravitz.
There's no one in the closet.
Saved your Sunday punch for the last, right? - What? - Now, that's what I call a clever idea.
Animated shoes.
It's only great.
Animated shoes? What kind of voices did you have in mind for the shoes? Voices? Yeah, voices.
Come on back, and let's talk about it.
What about his plane? - Darrin.
- You must be joshing.
I'm not leaving town till I hear all about this.
- What are the details? - Yes, let's hear the details.
The details.
Let me have some of that brandy.
We're gonna check the power lines on the outside.
Just be patient.
We'll get to the bottom of this yet.
I certainly hope so.
- What happened? - She fainted.
Good, now I can get some sleep.
Love the fainting lady.
How do you work her into the animated shoes? Aunt Clara, what have you done? About what? Oh, my stars.
- Good morning, sweetheart.
- Oh, hi.
- How you feel? - Like a million.
Which is just about what MacElroy's account is worth.
Don't forget you owe it all to Aunt Clara's irresponsibility.
They talked to a puppet man, said it'll be a cinch to animate those shoes.
Really? You know, it's amazing what human beings can do.
Listen to this.
"Power company officials announced that last night's massive blackout was due to a power reversal.
The sudden surge in the Niagara grid compounded by the failure of an automatic cut-off system was a one-in-a-million accident.
" Aunt Clara didn't do it.
- Where are you going? - To tell her.
Oh, but, Darrin, she thinks she did it.
She's even kind of proud of herself.
Aunt Clara's a new woman.
I don't get it.
Will it hurt to let her go on thinking she's responsible? She's bound to read about it in the papers.
So what? The newspapers are always coming up with logical explanations for things we witches do.
- She won't pay any attention to it.
- It's okay with me.
And who knows, maybe she did do it.
Well, the failure of an automatic cut-off system that was a one-in-a-million accident or one of Aunt Clara's goof-ups.
Now, which is harder to believe? I'd give anything if you hadn't asked.

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