Bewitched (1964) s05e25 Episode Script

Samantha has one more chance.
Let her heed the warning of this Witches Council or suffer the consequences.
Follow me.
Follow me.
Follow me.
Mother, will you please stop bouncing around like Tinker Bell and tell me what all this is about? Samantha, I'm sorry to wake you, my love but this is an emergency.
It better be.
to be playing follow the bouncing ball.
The Witches Council has finally had it with your mortal marriage.
Oh, Mother! They've always had it, right from the very first.
I could hardly hear the wedding bells, the thunder was so loud.
Samantha! The Witches Council means business.
And I have a message for our mighty Council.
No matter what they do, I will not disavow my marriage.
Try moving the lamp, Samantha.
Go on, give it a twitch.
I'd say they got your message.
Well? Flowers you are, flowers you'll be.
On the count of three, you'll move for me.
One, two, three.
That's right, Samantha.
You're suffering from a power failure.
You're short-circuited, wiped out, stripped.
Mother, I made my decision, and I'm satisfied with it.
- You mean stuck with it.
- I know what I mean.
Samantha, you've not only lost your powers you've lost your heritage, your birthright, your everything.
I still have Darrin.
You just mentioned the one thing you should have lost.
Mother, guess who's not staying for dinner.
Tallyho.
Hi, Sammy.
Hi there, Uncle Arthur, you little dickens! What a pleasant surprise.
Just thought I'd pop up and see you sometime.
Now, how do we get you to pop out? Oh, no.
It's the Wicked Witch of the West.
I always break you up, don't I? Oh, you! Now, stop it, you two.
Don't you worry, Uncle Arthur.
I'll always be your number one fan.
Sammy, I'd appreciate it if you kept the toaster on light from now on.
Boy, that smarts.
Next time try the waffle iron.
It leaves a more interesting pattern.
Very good, Sammy.
Wish I'd said that.
You will, Uncle Arthur.
You will.
Hi, coz! I just won my platinum belt.
Well, do you have to practice on my furniture? Oh, sorry about that.
I'll fix it.
I can't hang around too long.
I have to split to India for the World Rope Climbing Championships.
They've got a new motto this year: The sky's the limit.
All right.
All right.
Will the shepherdess take the black sheep and go rope climbing? Samantha and I are having a serious discussion.
Don't mind us.
I'm too tired to leave right away.
As a matter of fact, all I want to do is rest my weary bones.
In fact, I think I will.
Uncle Arthur, pull yourself together.
Is it true that The foot bone's connected To the leg bone The leg bone's connected To the knee bone The knee bone's connected To the thigh bone Now hear the word of the Lord The thigh bone's connected To the backbone The backbone's connected To the neck bone The neck bone's connected To the head bone - Now hear the word of the Lord.
- Right you are, bonehead.
Lucky for you, I didn't hear that.
Arthur, will you please take your sick humour elsewhere? As I said, Samantha and l We know all about that, Endora.
That's why we're here.
And, little cousin, unkie-poo If not more.
And don't let those old crones at the Council split you and Darrin.
- No! You're a set.
Sort of unmatched, but a set.
You belong together, like Antony and Cleopatra.
Arthur, button your lip.
Romeo and Juliet.
Dr.
Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde.
If you won't button your lip, I'll do it for you.
Really, Endora! Get with it.
Buttons are out.
Zippers are in.
All right.
Have it your way.
Mother, you unbutton and unzip them this instant.
Very well.
A mother's work is never done.
Endora, when I think of you as a blood relative I long for a transfusion.
As we were saying, little cousin, you just hang in there.
- You can count on us.
- No matter what, we're at your side.
I think they heard you loud and clear.
Go ahead, Arthur.
Try your tablecloth trick.
Serena, try your karate.
Why, those spiteful old hags.
What have they done to us? Serena, let me help you out of that ridiculous outfit.
Thanks for the groovy threads, Endora.
What kills me is I voted for them in the last election.
Just goes to prove you can't trust anyone over 3000 years old.
- Now listen to me.
- Make that 4000.
All right.
I've done everything I can.
You've seen the last of me.
Watch.
She's going to get sticky about this.
I'm leaving, never to return.
- Real sticky.
- I haven't gone yet.
Well, hurry up.
We want to be alone.
Don't worry, Sammy.
Everything's going to be fine.
We'll get jobs and function just like mortals.
Yes, you'll see.
We'll adjust.
If you can do it for us, living the mortal life will be as easy as falling off a log.
And into the river and over the falls.
Sammy, the ship may be sinking but we'll stick by you.
Even if we all go down together.
"No matter what, we're at your side.
" "Come on, Serena, let's pledge our loyalty.
" Yuck.
"Get a job!" You and your big mouth.
You could have objected, you know.
Your mouth wasn't zipped at the time.
Here's a strange one: Boxer wanted to work in supermarket.
Probably they want someone to beat up the shoplifters.
Probably.
Here's something: Ice cream plant.
Unskilled labour.
No experience necessary.
Well, we certainly qualify for that one.
Tricky little devil.
I know it's a match.
After all, it's on a short stick, and it has a little red top.
But how do you get it to light without witchcraft? Arturo, will you knock it off? I'm trying to find us a job, and all you can think about is playing with fire.
Darrin's going to expect me to give him a hot foot when he gets home and I don't want to disappoint him.
There must be instructions on the matchbook.
There are, "Learn electronics in your spare time.
" Well, why don't you enroll? And then maybe during your smoking break your instructor can teach you how to light a match.
Wait a second.
Here it is.
"Close cover before striking.
" So simple.
Here it goes.
Light! It must be faulty.
How's it going? Find anything? Only something that says: Unskilled labour.
No experience necessary.
Sounds made to order.
Let's go.
Well, this is it.
Looks like a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to work there.
Uncle Arthur, really.
Oh, all right, all right.
We're going.
- We're going.
- That's better.
I'll do some shopping with Tabitha and come back and pick you up later.
Good luck! What's luck, Mommy? It's something you need when you can't twitch.
Well, we're ready.
Hey, that's a perfect fit.
Course, anything would look good on you, baby.
I think it would look even better without your hands on it.
You know, this is the first time I ever hired anybody without a reference.
- I don't even know why I'm doing it.
- I do.
The jacket's a perfect fit.
We're wasting time.
All this talk is costing the boss a buck an hour.
I thought you were the boss.
Well, l I admit, I look like a boss but I just manage this place.
You can call me Buck.
Come on.
Let's get with it.
Follow me.
Okeydoke, Buck.
We've got a special going this week.
We're pushing the frozen chocolate-covered bananas.
- How revolting.
- You don't eat 'em.
You just make 'em.
Here's how it works.
You take the banana like this.
You dip it in the chocolate.
That should be easy.
I'm a dipper from way back.
- Excellent.
- Yeah.
She used to be known as the big dipper.
All right.
Let's not have any levity on this job no matter how weak.
- Oh, I got a critic.
As I was saying, you take the banana like this.
Dip it in the chocolate like this.
You hand it to wise guy.
He rolls it in the nuts and sticks it in the tray.
- You got that? - Of course we've got it.
How unskilled do you think we are? Let's try it just once more from the top.
Over here, gorgeous.
Now, we take the banana like this.
Dip it in the chocolate.
Hand it to wise guy.
Who rolls it in the nuts.
And puts it in the tray.
How'd you like that? I liked it better when I did it alone.
All right.
Have it your own way.
Now, when you get 12 in the tray, you take the tray and put it in the freezer here.
You got that? Of course I got it.
You're not explaining the theory of relativity, you know.
All right, Einstein, let's see how it works then.
I'm gonna start the belt, so you two stay awake.
Shoot when you're ready.
I take a banana, I dip it in the chocolate.
- Here we go.
- Here we go.
Drawing a crowd out there.
- Is my lipstick on straight? - I'll bet.
- I could never get 'em down.
- No, neither could I.
- Hope they didn't see that.
- Clumsy.
All right, all right.
Now, you're not being paid to wave.
Just dip the bananas.
My good fellow, we find that we can both dip and wave.
If he's that good, let him work alone while you and I take a play break.
- You're not exactly my idea of a playmate.
Let's move it.
There's a job to be done.
Oh, by the way, anything you ruin comes out of your salary.
By the way, what do I do when my nose itches? Scratch it on your coffee break.
You're rotten.
Rotten.
Nine, 10, 11.
Need one more.
Thank you.
There's another dozen.
Oh, you are clever.
I wish he'd stay out of the way.
He makes me nervous.
Oh, they're speeding up.
They're speeding up! Unk! Unk! They're speeding up! I'm so far behind, you hide some of them.
- I can't - I'm doing the work of two people.
It's like the Indianapolis Speedways.
- I'll just put these in here.
- Yes.
We mustn't let them melt.
There's no time for the trays.
They're melting.
- Just throw 'em to me here, honey.
- But your nuts! Oh, nut 'em, nut 'em! - That's it.
- Oh, they're going on the floor! - Just throw 'em in here.
Hurry, honey.
- Wait a minute.
You're acting just like a mortal, Serena.
Use your imagination.
That's not very nice! Well, that was a good day's work.
- What'll I do with these? - I don't know.
Eat 'em.
Well, how's everybody Well, gorgeous still don't wanna take that little play break? That's cute.
That's funny.
Thank you.
You're gonna pay for that.
You know you're gonna pay for that, don't you? Chocolate-covered manager.
Unkie-poo! Where'd everybody go? Is that you, Unkie-poo? Let's face it.
We're drags.
We should really cut out of your life completely.
Oh, don't be silly.
It's because of me you were cut in.
If I ever get my powers back, the first thing I'm going to do is change that manager into a 150 pound banana.
And I'll dip him in chocolate and freeze him.
Oh, for the good old days.
- What a mess.
- You whistled? Samantha, it should be clear to you by now that you have no choice.
Give up.
Come with me to the Witches Council and ask their forgiveness.
All right, I'll come with you, but I won't ask their forgiveness.
I want to plead my case before the Witches Council.
Those old crones haven't reversed a decision in 3000 years.
Samantha, why don't you reverse your decision? No chance of that.
No chance at all.
Then, Samantha, the decision of our Witches Council stands.
You, Arthur, Serena and Tabitha are forever stripped of your powers.
You call this a court of justice? I call it a hall of vengeance.
Careful, Samantha.
You'll just make them angrier.
- Try the soft sell.
- No.
I'm not going to appeal to your mercy, just your memory.
Samantha, if their memory is anything, it's convenient.
Remember the witch burnings of Salem? Remember the innocent who were condemned simply for being different? Remember your rage at that injustice? Well, aren't you guilty of the same injustice? Aren't you condemning me simply because I choose to be different? Samantha, my darling, remember, you're risking your birthright.
Oh, I'm not risking anything.
You can take away my powers, but I'll always be a witch.
It's you, the highest of all courts, who are taking the risk your integrity, your right to sit in judgment.
- Have you finished? - I have.
Don't call us.
We'll call you.
Talking to the Witches Council was like howling in the wind.
The clouds were so thick, I couldn't even see them.
- Maybe they weren't there.
- Oh, you're some help.
May I have the ketchup, please? How can you people eat at a time like this? You're right, Sammy.
We're all insensitive boors.
Pass the cauliflower, honey.
May I have the ketchup, please? Samantha, your pacing that way isn't going to make them decide any faster.
If only there were some hint, some sign.
Sammy, I've got just the thing to take your mind off your problem.
My old tablecloth trick.
- Oh, good grief.
- I want to see it! - That's a sweetheart.
- Uncle Arthur! Now, please, these are our best dishes.
You've broken all the others.
It's been in Darrin's family for generations.
- It was his mother, his grandmother - Who needs hand-me-downs? He did it with no powers.
That clown did it.
Not bad, eh? Great! I think.
Uncle Arthur, lend me that tablecloth.
Oh, my! It's good to be back to normal again! I can't stand all this gaiety! Well, now that the big, bad witch is gone, let's dig in.
I could hardly eat while she was here.