Bizaardvark (2016) s02e03 Episode Script

The Doctor Will See You Now

1 Hey, guys.
Bizaardvark here.
Who loves lemonade? Paige, everybody loves lemonade.
- I don't.
- Really? Like, your whole life you hated lemonade? Yes, it's too sour.
We just spent, like, two weeks filming a video called Lemonade Stand.
All right, this is awkward.
Uh, enjoy the video.
Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (rapping) Perfect summer day Sittin' on the couch like a slob Dad busted in and said Get a job - A job? A job? - Yeah.
Yeah.
- A job? - Oh, man.
Let's kick it old school With a lemonade stand Cooler full of gold - And the cups - To the curb Let's make a sign that says "10 cents" Word Yo, someone's operatin' On our curb without permission Uh-oh Looks like we got competition We're slingin' - Lemonade! - Lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemon, lemonade We can't have some other chicas Tryin' to steal our cheese These girls are half our age This is about to be a breeze Wait, do you see what I see? Whoa, that kinda rocks.
Looks almost like a food truck And all we got is this box A little healthy competition is just fine with me Those are fresh organic lemons Where'd they get that lemon tree? Concentrated mix is just as nice Uh, this is warm I think we need some ice to sell this - Lemonade! - Lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemon, lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemonade Lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemon, lemon, lemonade Lemon, lemonade! They've got an ice sculpture And a line of people at their stand It's all good, we're cool I got two folding fans They serve their lemonade in glasses With rainbows and unicorns They're swiping credit cards Plus, they've got embroidered uniforms Please, we keep it real We got nothing to envy I just downloaded their app And it's really user-friendly The game done changed How can we compete? That's a bunch of hype Our lemonade is just as sweet Let's see what's all the fuss about Wow, this is delicious Lines around the block? Yo, their business sense is vicious We need to close up shop, Frankie Let's not pretend But we'll get embroidered uniforms If we work for them Slingin' - Lemonade! - Lemonade Lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemon, lemonade Lemon, lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemonade Lemonade - Lemonade! - Lemon, lemon, lemonade You could spend all day on a swing eating a baguette But why do boring things like that when there's the Internet? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos You could watch Dirk doing crazy dares Sayin', "Here we go" Here we go! He'll do anything you want Just don't try this at home Or watch Amelia teaching ya how to look your best Making-over people is her never-ending quest You could watch Do you have constant foot odor? You could watch us make ridiculously funny videos Like the one with evil pop-up books That punch you in the nose Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos And I I missed it! - Hey, sweetie.
- Dad! You're home even earlier than I thought.
Well, surgeries end a lot quicker when things go horribly wrong.
What? I'm kidding.
They rescheduled.
Come here.
Now, who's ready for the latest edition of "What's the Grossest Thing I Saw Today"? Ooh, me, me, me, me! What do you get when you cross the small intestine with 80 years of eating fast food? Oh, I can't even look at it! Can you text me that? I want it as my wallpaper.
Hey, what smells so good? I cooked for us.
It's been like a month since you've been home early enough to have dinner together, so I wanted to make tonight special.
This is great.
Dinner with my favorite person in the world, and I don't have to think about intestines and blood.
So, what'd you cook? Spaghetti and red sauce.
(exclaims) Hey, didn't you and Paige post a new Bizaardvark video today? - Yeah.
- Let's watch it now.
Oh.
oh, oh, oh (message beeps) It's okay.
I'm sure it's not an emergency.
It's an emergency.
I'm so sorry, sweetie.
You know there's nowhere else that I'd rather be than here having dinner with you.
I know.
I understand.
Oh, nobody knows I went home, so I better make it look like I was working this whole time.
Perfect.
And so, Grandma said to me, "Bernie, don't worry.
Your gerbil's just sleeping for a really long time.
" I'm sick of hot chocolate.
Okay.
Well, forget my story.
Every day it's the same thing.
It's hot, it's chocolate.
It's boring.
Servants of Vuuugle hush thy mouths! Dirk speaks the truth.
Hot chocolate is boring.
Well, thanks, Live-like-a-Viking-Channel guy.
Your vision is inspiring.
Everyone here looks up to you.
You're like our leader, Dirk of House Me Bro.
I'm a leader.
We shouldn't just accept a Hot Chocolate Bar.
We deserve something better! All (shouting): Yeah! And we should replace the Hot Chocolate Bar with something that makes us say, "This is better!" All (shouting): Yeah! And Dirk lives with me, so that makes me co-leader! (shouts enthusiastically) Yeah! No? Okay.
Hey, are you guys talking about the Hot Chocolate Bar? 'Cause I've been thinking, and I actually have a plan to improve it.
Instead of just hot chocolate, we could enjoy a variety of beverages.
All we have to do is add more hoses and rewire the bar.
Whoa.
Hoses and wires? Sounds kinda complicated.
It's really not.
Imagine any drink you can think of at any time.
Now we have to imagine things? Dirk's plan is based in reality Replace the Hot Chocolate Bar with something that is better! All: Yeah! And as co-leader, Dirk demands that you say "yeah" to me! Just do it, guys.
All: Yeah.
Yeah.
Monday's gonna be brutal.
How can we have both a test and a term paper due? That should be illegal.
It's like I always said, Homework Cops.
Could be a movie? Should be a real thing.
Hey, what's up? I'm sorry.
It's just my dad had to miss dinner again because of work.
I never get to hang out with him.
It feels like his patients get to see him more than I do.
Well, to be fair, they're paying him, like, a lot.
Maybe you just need to find another way to get his attention.
Dr.
Wong, you have an emergency patient.
She doesn't have much time with her father.
Did I do the dramatic pause right? Yeah.
(in sing-song) Nailed it.
Hi, Dad.
Frankie, what's going on? You're always working.
This is the only way I knew I could see you.
Really? And you thought sneaking into the hospital was a good idea? Yeah, well, think about it.
Shouldn't your doctor be more than just a doctor to you? You're reading that off the poster behind me, aren't you? Sorry, Dad.
It's just that three out of five women over the age of 60 suffer from high blood pressure.
Oh, speaking of, you wanna see a picture of a clogged artery? Like, really clogged? (exclaims loudly Oh! Ugh! Can that be our Christmas card? So, you want to destroy the Hot Chocolate bar and replace it with something better? All (shouting): Yeah! Well, there is an old Vuuugle rule that if a majority agrees on an issue of building policy, they can change it.
Really? No.
I just don't care.
Also, you have an angry mob and I have no arms.
All (shouting): Yeah! Hang on, everyone.
I realized not all of you responded to my plan earlier.
Who is this dragon lady? And why does she keep appearing? We get it, Scott, you're a viking.
I had my architect draw up a blue print so you could see my plan on paper.
If it's not written on goat skin with the blood of a fox, I will not read it! March on! All: Yeah! Wait, wait, wait, guys, what're we doing? We can't just destroy the Hot Chocolate Bar Thank you.
without filming it for our channels! What? All (shouting): Yeah! (dubstep music playing) (shouting) Yeah! (chainsaw buzzing) (yelling) (heroic music playing) Yeah! (cheering) (dubstep music continues) Whoop, whoop, whoop! So, Dirk, what do you plan on replacing the Hot Chocolate Bar with? You do have a plan, right? Of course I do.
It's (shouts) better! (cheering) (laughs) Hey, man, I really feel like we bonded back there.
You wanna come over sometime and have soup with me and my grandma? Your story saddens my ears.
How can I have both a history test and a term paper due on Monday? Relax.
It's Saturday.
You've got the whole weekend to study.
Oh, hey.
How about we take a study break? I just finished editing our piggy bank video.
Well, I keep your money Until you are ready So you can buy a bike or a (screaming) Why would you do that? All I ever did was help you and teach you how to be responsible.
Ugh.
My entire life was for nothing.
Thanks, Paige.
That really helped.
(cell phone dings) Oh, uh, I gotta get home.
You got this.
Bye, Dad.
Have a great day at work.
I'm not going to work today.
What do you mean? After your little stunt at the hospital, I realized you're right.
We don't spend enough time together.
So I'm taking the next two weeks off.
What? Really? That's amazing! Oh, wait, you still gonna get paid money, right? Heck yeah.
And the fun starts now.
I got passes to the water park! Splash-o-rama for today? Yep, unless you have more school work you need to do for Monday.
Nope.
No way! Are these "skip the line" passes? I can't wait to make fun of the people who don't get to skip the line.
Yeah, have fun staying dry, suckas! - Bathing suit? - Yep.
Woo! I still don't know the rules of paintball, but I've got every color on me.
So I'm pretty sure I won.
Today was awesome.
I can't remember the last time I had this much fun.
Yeah, probably because you spend your days doing surgery on people's heads.
You know that I'm the Head Surgeon at the hospital, not a head surgeon, right? Yeah, we needed this catch-up time.
Up for a softball catch? Aw, like when I was little.
Yep.
Um, I just I need my lucky hat.
Okay.
England, France, war.
Got it.
Can't go on a hike without sunscreen.
Um, term paper.
By Frankie Wong.
Okay, good start.
Dr.
Wong: Hurry up, Frankie.
Planetarium closes at 7:00.
Uh, I'm just flipping pages.
I'm retaining none of this! Dirk, all these people are excited to hear your plan.
Bern-man, I gotta be honest with you, I do not have a plan.
Well, that is certainly going to affect their excitement level.
But it's cool.
I was up all night thinking about it, and I'm prepared to handle any question that they throw at me.
(clears throat) As you all know, I have a fantastic plan to replace the Hot Chocolate Bar.
So, what is it? Shoot.
I did not think they were going to ask that.
Can I have your attention, everyone.
I've made this as simple as I can.
This is a model of my plan for a beverage bar, with little toys so that even a child could understand.
See, right here by the bar is where the new drink machine would Why is it so small? How will we fit in there? It's a model.
I don't see any models.
Just small animals.
Dirk, may I speak with you? It's pretty obvious what's going on.
You have no plan.
These people all say I do.
Isn't that better than having a plan? No, it's worse.
They all trust you.
And eventually, they'll realize you're a fraud.
When they do, you'll go from being the most loved person at Vuuugle to the most hated.
You're right.
I need to fix this.
I can't just let everyone down.
Dirk! Quit talking to this bejeweled sorceress.
The men are getting restless.
Give it up, Scott.
You work in a grocery store.
Hey, hey! Hey, I just finished editing Piggy Bank's Revenge.
Check it out.
Okay, she'll be here any minute.
(laughs maniacally) Patience, Mr.
Banks.
You will get your revenge.
Yes! Yes! Wait, she's not filled with coins? Oh, no.
What have I done? Police Officer: Come out.
We know you're in there.
You'll never take me alive! (screams, shatters) So, I'm thinking for part three, Mr.
Banks goes back in time and meets Himself as a baby piggy bank, obviously.
Can we talk about this later, please? I haven't studied at all, and I only have 45 minutes before I jump off a building.
Frankie, whoa, it's just History.
France, England, war.
You got this.
No.
My dad and I are literally jumping off a building.
He got us tickets to LA Freefall.
(gasps) You mean, downtown's most extreme adventure where you bungee jump off the city's tallest building under "The cloak of night.
" Ah, I was so close.
What am I gonna do? I have a term paper that I have no idea how to write, a test on this in 12 hours, and I haven't read any of it.
Any of it! Hey.
Frankie.
It's gonna be okay.
You're going non-stop.
Why don't you talk to your dad and see if you can LA Freefall another time? There is no other time.
He's going back to work soon.
I know.
And he'll understand.
Talk to him.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll talk to him.
Hey, guys, check it out.
I grabbed him from the hospital.
Let's throw him off the roof before we jump and watch all the people on the ground freak out.
(whispers) Talk to him.
- Goodnight, Dr.
Wong.
- 'Night, Paige.
Dad, can I talk to you for a second? Of course.
What's going on? (sighs) - Look, the past few days - Have been incredible.
I know! I'm having so much fun! But the best part is when I look over at you and I see how much fun you're having.
Reminds me how lucky I am to be your dad.
(softly) I don't know.
I don't know.
I feel the same way.
- Let's go jump off a building.
- Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The thing is buckled, the harness is harnessed, three, two, one, we jump, then we go home, right? I know.
I'm excited, too! Let's do this twice! Twice? Man (on loudspeaker): Okay, next jumpers, you're up.
- That's us.
- Finally.
Goggles on.
Get ready to touch the sky in three, two Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang on.
Looks like we got some mechanical issues up in here.
Really? Really.
Don't worry, we'll have this fixed in no time.
Two three hours tops.
Ugh, I can't do this! Frankie, what's wrong? Everything.
Everything's wrong.
Honey, take a breath.
What's going on? I have a huge test and a term paper due tomorrow, and I haven't worked on any of it because we've been running around doing so much stuff.
What? Why didn't you tell me? Because I only have you for, like, two weeks, and then you're going back to work, and then I'm going to lose you again.
Frankie, you're never gonna lose me.
I ruined everything.
(sobs) I should've said something.
I'm so sorry.
No.
This is my fault.
I haven't been around.
(sighs) After your mom and I got divorced, I threw myself into work to make sure that you have everything that you wanted.
You've done great, Dad.
I know it hasn't been easy.
But I missed everything.
You're the most beautiful, funny, creative girl in the world and I never get to see you.
You're my life, Frankie.
From now on, I'm gonna be around more.
Really? Really.
Hey.
You wanna see a really gross picture of a burst appendix? I love you, too, Dad.
It might take us all night, but we have to rebuild the Hot Chocolate Bar back to the way it was.
(impersonating Viking guy) Let us reclaim the fortress of our I can't do it.
The Viking guy is so cool.
I'm gonna go take a nap.
('80s rock music playing) Here we go.
People of Vuuugle, I stayed up all night to give you the new and improved Hot Chocolate Bar.
No mammoth pelts, or otters, or Uh-oh.
Where am I? (lisping) 'Sup? (in normal voice) 'Sup.
Guys, I give up.
I never had a plan to replace the Hot Chocolate Bar.
It's just you all believed in me, and I didn't want to let you down.
But there is someone here who has true vision, who we should've been listening to all along (sighs) Thank you, Dirk.
Horse-face guy! What? (dance music playing) I get it! Okay, let me suggest another solution.
My new office.
It made no sense being on the second floor.
No more carrying me up the stairs, Viking guy.
It has been an honor.
Indeed.
Sorry for messing up, everybody.
I know it's not much, but I do have this dartboard.
Dartboard, huh? Sounds kinda lame Oh, man this is fun! All (shouting): Yeah! I don't know.
Don't we all deserve better than a dartboard? Yeah.
We do deserve better.
(shouting) Yeah!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode