Bizaardvark (2016) s03e15 Episode Script

1 - What's up, guys? I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.
And we're Bizaardvark.
And today, we're hanging out with Our invisible friend.
I'm the invisible friend! (imitating echo) Friend, friend, friend Principal Karen, I think you're missing the concept.
You're our invisible friend.
Oh, got it.
Great note.
Thank you.
Invisible.
No, you're just supposed to say the word "hi," off-screen.
Oh! Got it.
Back to one.
Please welcome our invisible friend.
Hi! You know, I feel like you can see me better over here.
Principal Karen, we're not supposed to be able to see you.
Totally get it now.
Back to one! Our invisible friend! Invisible! Can you see me? You can't see me.
I really thought the invisible friend idea would keep her out of the video.
We're never gonna get her out of Bizaardvark.
Why was she dressed like a tomato? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Here's a fresh idea I came up with.
You two sing a song about us all being best friends, and then I bust in at the end with a sick freestyle rap.
What do you think? - Uh - Yeah Or here's another one.
You guys sing a song about us being soul mates, and then I bust in at the end with With a sick freestyle rap? No.
This rap will be thought out and written down ahead of time.
But still sick! You know, Principal Karen Or why don't we just sing about what the three of us do best? Gettin' our blizzard on up in here! Okay, that's not even real slang.
(bell rings) Oh no, the period's over already? Sorry everyone, looks like we lost track of time.
But you know how it is when you be gettin' your blizzard on! Do you know how it is? Anyway, think about my ideas.
BRB.
TTYL.
LMNOP.
That's my favorite part of the alphabet.
- We have to end this.
- I know.
Principal Karen is ruining Bizaardvark.
And most words.
I guess we could just tell her the truth.
Just admit that we didn't mean to ask her to join the band and it was all a big misunderstanding.
I think she might be able to handle that, don't you? What could've possibly made you think I'd be able to handle something like this? (sniffs) And why'd you tell me right after I put on all this mascara? (sobbing) Okay, that was option A, and option A seems messy.
Maybe there's a much easier option B.
(phone rings) Hmm.
It's Liam.
Hey, Liam.
Everything okay? Oh, hardly.
You know that angry woman who's usually in charge of things at the house? Grandma? I don't know her formal name, Paige.
Well, as you know, she's off on holiday, which means I'm down one chaperone, which means I have to deal with whiny Vuuuglers.
"Oh, I'm Zane, I'm afraid of the dark.
" "Oh, I'm Bernie, we're out of cereal.
" "Oh, I'm Amelia, there's a gas leak.
" Liam, did you have a question? Or did you just call us to complain? What? Oh.
No, yes, the second one.
Complain.
Goodbye.
Wow.
Liam is always blaming other people for his problems.
Must be nice.
Wish we could blame our problems on someone else.
Wait.
Liam is someone else.
Why don't we just tell Principal Karen that Liam has a ton of strict rules that make it impossible for her to be in Bizaardvark? Oh, I like it! Normally I'm against lying, but in this case, we're on the same page.
And Frankie! Been waiting three years to do that.
(phone rings) Eh, one more question.
Apparently, Rodney is stuck in the foam pit.
Do any of those words mean anything to you? Wow, this menu is gigantic.
If I wanted to read a book, I'd Rent one? How do people get books? Is reading still a thing? Yeah, and what about unicorns? You never see those around anymore either.
Welcome to The Salty Barnacle.
Every order comes with a smile.
What can I get you? (gasps) My grits and gravy, those are magnificent! Magnificent is for rainbows.
That gorgeous creation has got me shook.
We'll have those.
Oh, the Ultimate Choco-Pancake Yummy Stack.
Sorry, that's on our kids' menu.
You gotta be 12 or under to order it.
Really? Can't you, uh, make an exception? Can't you make a muscle? Rules are rules.
The answer's no.
Aw, man.
I really want those pancakes.
Relax, Bernie.
We're gonna get the pancakes.
The waitress talks a big game, but I'm sure she doesn't actually enforce the rules.
It's your birthday? (gasps) And you're 13? The kids' menu is for 12 and under.
You're banned! Okay, she's the real deal.
Well, I guess it's plain pancakes for me.
We are gonna get those pancakes, Bernie.
And we're gonna need our best men to pull off the job.
(video game shoots, chimes) Boys.
How would you like to be part of a dangerous plan that breaks all the rules, but has a huge payoff? - Sweet, we'll do it.
- Wait.
First, we have to negotiate our terms.
- Can we wear hats? - Sure.
We're in.
Okay, there's PK.
Let's review the plan to get her out of Bizaardvark.
Blame everything on Liam.
Yeah.
That's about it.
Why did I type up this agenda? Hey, PK.
Um I'm afraid we've got some bad news.
Bad like dope? Or bad like do pe? - Uh Frankie? - It's a trap.
Keep going.
Um, unfortunately, Liam, the boss of Vuuugle, says we can't add any new members to Bizaardvark.
Yeah, it's not our rule.
It's Liam's.
Because he makes all the rules.
Liam.
(sighs) Well, this is disappointing news.
- For all of us.
- Day of mourning.
But we must accept it.
- It's all we can do.
- Our light is our strength.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I will be in my office "sabbing.
" Oh, sad dabbing.
Got it.
Frankie, we did it! We actually got Principal Karen out of Bizaardvark! And we took the easy way out.
- Let's hab! - Hab? - Happy dab.
- Isn't that just a dab? Huh.
Still fun.
Principal Karen? What are you doing here? She's talking to me.
Apparently, you two have some explaining to do.
Oh, Liam, we're so sorry Save your sorrys.
You two are in big trouble for not bringing Principal Karen to me sooner! She's our new Vuuugle House chaperone.
What? He said I'm perfect for the job because I'm an "adult" and I'm "here.
" Liam, are you sure about this? Karen isn't exactly qualified to be a chaperone.
She's more qualified to be a Uh Something with dabbing? I don't know.
Well, I think she's more than qualified.
She used some very out-of-the-box thinking w hen Rodney fell into the foam pit again.
She pulled me out.
Girlios, isn't this great? I came over here to talk to Liam about being in Bizaardvark.
But this even better! I'll be living with Bizaardvark.
It's gonna be PK all day, e'ry day! And then go to sleep, then wake up, then all day, e'ry day! Then go to sleep, then wake up, then guess what? All day, e'ry day? What the? Am I dreaming? And why does my dream hurt my eyes? I redecorated.
When did you have time? You just moved in last night.
Oh! You don't know this about me.
I don't sleep.
Like, ever.
So, do you like the new look? The pillows are scratch-and-sniff.
Smell them.
Smell them! School time, girlios.
You know how I sing the announcements at school and everybody calls me the pop star principal? Don't know anyone who calls you that.
Well, say hello to the pop star chaperone.
Don't forget your backpacks Now auto-tune.
Did you two study for your test? No.
See you at school.
Call me the popstar chaperone Probably not gonna call you that! Hey, besties! I brought you these breathing strips to help you with your snoring problems.
- I don't snore.
- Yeah, me neither.
Yeah, you both do.
I recorded you last night.
(loud snoring) (students laughing) Oh, here comes my favorite part.
(snoring snortingly) We have to stop this.
She's ruining our life at home and she ruining our life at school.
Maybe we should just tell her the truth.
(wails) Oh, right.
The ugly crying.
There's gotta be an easier way.
Well, what are we gonna do? It's not like we can use Liam again.
Or can we? What does Liam hate more than anything in the world? - Us.
- True.
But what else? Uh Swimming pools! You know what? I'm just gonna tell you the plan.
Liam hates when people bug him.
So we'll just tell Principal Karen to ask him a bunch of questions.
It'll drive him crazy and he'll fire her.
Great idea.
And that's so much easier than telling her the truth.
Great.
I'm glad we're on the same page.
And Frankie! What? You get to do it? I don't get to do it? Hey, PK! Since you're the new chaperone now, we wanted to pass along some advice.
See, Paige and I, we really know Liam.
Totally.
And you know what he loves more than anything? - Swimming pools.
- I'm just gonna tell you what he likes.
Liam loves check-ins.
He wants to know everything that's going on in the Vuuugle house.
He wants details.
Deets.
All the deets.
Well, when your two best friends in the whole wide world give you advice, you take it.
Especially when they might be your stepchildren some day.
Wait, what? All right, let's go over the plan again.
- Rodney, what do you and Zane do? - We order the pancakes.
Yes.
Zane, this is important.
What do Bernie and I do? - You eat the pancakes.
- Great! Let's run it again.
- We got it.
- I could use one more time.
The waitress is coming.
Everyone act natural.
Top of the mornin' to ya, lassie.
Great day to find a pot o' gold, eh? Why are you talking like a leprechaun? No, that was a sea captain.
A leprechaun sounds like this.
I'm the captain of this ship! It's a subtle difference, but I hear it.
What are you havin'? We'll have the eggs.
And now our ten-year-old friends will order what they'd like.
The Ultimate Choco-Pancake Yummy Stack, please.
(gasps) Well, that came out of the blue.
Psht! What a surprise.
I thought, for sure, they'd order something off the adult menu.
Like these delicious eggs Benedict.
Ooh, I do love hollandaise sauce.
You're getting the pancakes.
I mean, they are under 12 and those are the rules.
Mm.
Well, it does seem to check out.
- How old are you? What grade are you in? - Ten! Fifth! When was the last time you used a landline? - What's a landline? - All right, you passed.
Enjoy your breakfast.
All right, boys.
This is gonna be the hardest mission any of us has ever faced.
That woman plays by the rules, and she'll be watching us like a hawk.
I'm going on break.
See ya in 20.
Oh.
Never mind.
Let's eat! Not you.
You get eggs.
Those pancakes were amazing.
(belching loudly) Mmm! That is the most delicious burp I've ever burped.
I know it's not why we came, but I liked the eggs.
I liked the ambiance.
It's like a boat in here.
Hey, guys.
How were the eggs? From the regular menu.
I don't have proof.
But I think I know what went down here today.
And if I catch you in here breaking the rules again, guess what happens? - We're banned? - You're banned! Guys, look! I'm driving the restaurant.
You know what I'm not gonna miss? Principal Karen beatboxing to wake me up every morning.
- Yeah.
- (beatboxing) Get up, get up! Everybody get dressed We're going to school, I'm 35 and I rap! Hey, why is Liam here? I'm sure it's just because our plan worked and he's here to tell us how annoying PK is and that he has to fire her.
Breaking the news in person.
Brits be classy.
Paige, Frankie, I need to talk with you about this Principal Karen woman.
She has been texting me all day.
And not just texting, video chatting, actual talking! It is a lot of communication.
And I like it.
- What? - Come again? Yes, normally a grating voice like hers would send me running for the shores of Devonshire, but with her, somehow it doesn't! I'm all topsy-turvy! I think I'm in love with her.
Oh, I'm sorry, Liam, I think your robot's broken.
Did you mean to say, "I think Simon Blubagur"? No, I said I think I'm in love with her.
Oh, it's so much worse the second time.
Can I tell you a secret? Please, no.
Normally, I'm surprisingly shy when it comes to matters of the heart.
Gah, make it stop.
Would it be too much of an imposition to ask for your help in setting me up on a date with that gorgeous specimen of womanhood? Uh Because, I think I'm in love with her.
Oh, third time really hurts.
We cannot set Liam up with Principal Karen, can we? Doesn't that like, violate some sort of rule? Paige, we're way past rules.
He said topsy-turvy.
I don't care how fun it is to say.
Those aren't words.
So, what are we gonna do? Okay, let's think about it.
If we set them up, they could get married, move to another country, live happily ever after, and never bother us again.
Great.
So let's do that.
- Or - Ugh! There's an or.
It could go bad.
They could fall so madly in love that they're super gross about it and we have to be around them all the time.
Has anyone seen the love of my life, Princess Karen? I'm right here, Pookie Face.
Paige, Frankie! I'm in the robot.
Do I look famous now that I'm on TV? You're cute! - No, you're cute! - No, you're cute! (Liam and Karen cooing) (both shudder) That's a risk I'm not willing to take.
We could always not set PK up with Liam.
I'm sure she'll meet someone else eventually, fall in love, get married, and move to Toledo.
- Why Toledo? - Why not Toledo? Okay, Toledo.
Okay, let's do that.
Or Come on, there can't be an or, I gave you Toledo.
If we don't set Liam and PK up, there's a chance she'll never meet anyone else and just stay here with us forever.
Before we know it, we'll be just like her.
What up, grilio? Look what we got at the mall.
They're sparkle pillows.
- Do you love them? - 'Cause we love them.
- Unless you don't love them.
- Then we hate them.
I love them.
We love them! And guess when and how often I want to use them? All day, e'ry day! (screaming) Okay, there's no easy way out here.
I'm over the easy way.
Every time we've tried it, it's totally backfired on us and something worse has happened.
Okay, I have an idea, but I'm not sure you're gonna like it.
We have to tell PK the truth about everything.
- I like it.
- You like it? I like it too.
Unless you don't like it, then I hate it.
Aah, it's happening.
Ugh! Regular pancakes stink.
Even these sprinkles don't make them taste better.
That's glitter.
What did Principal Karen do to this place? What's different? Whatever.
I can't stop thinking about the Ultimate Choco-Pancake Yummy Stack.
Me too.
It's literally all I can think about.
I don't care what that waitress says.
We're going back.
Everyone loves a sequel.
Boys! We wanna pull off one more pancake heist.
You in? No can do.
We're retried from the life of breakfast crime.
We can't risk getting banned from that diner.
The soup and salad lunch combo is just so reasonably priced.
Boys.
The way I see it, there are two ways you can live your life.
Like a boring bowl of cereal, just waiting to go mushy and stale.
Or like a pancake on a griddle hot, fast, and on the edge.
Make your choice, 'cause I sure as heck made mine.
- We're in.
- Wait.
Can we wear hats? - No.
- We're in.
Okay, boys.
This is the moment we've been training for.
Operation Pancake-Take II: This Time it's Personal, is a go.
Stop looking at us.
We have to play it cool for this operation to work.
Operation Pancake-Take II: This Time it's Personal.
Oh, just the two of you today? Yep.
Just the two of us.
Just us kids, no adults here.
Okay.
What can I get you? (whispering) Three, two, one.
Twenty Ultimate Choco-Pancake Yummy Stacks to go, please.
To go? What's the matter? You have somewhere to be? I think she's on to us.
Relax.
You're kids.
She'll serve you, you'll pay.
And we'll have pancakes in the freezer for weeks.
Just stick to the plan.
I repeat: stick to the plan.
I don't know, man.
I'm starting to feel guilty all of a sudden.
We got the fuzz, man! We got the judges, man! You're almost home, boys.
Stay steady.
Okay.
I've got 20 Ultimate Choco-Pancake Yummy Stacks here.
Three, two, one Thanks.
Okay.
Enjoy your pancakes.
Phew, that was close.
But we did it, man.
Oh, by the way.
You boys need syrup? This is a pancake heist! We're working with them! Operation Pancake-Take II: This Time it's Personal is compromised! Stop talking and run! You kids should be ashamed of yourselves.
Breaking the rules.
And for what? Some pancakes? I mean, how good could they be? Tastes like pancake.
Wait a minute.
You just ate something from the kids menu.
You know what that means? You're banned! Judges, take her away.
No? Not really your jurisdiction? That's cool.
Enjoy your meal.
Hey, Principal Karen.
Um, you got a sec? For you two, anything.
No, seriously.
I would do anything for you two.
So, um The truth is We kinda sorta didn't want you to join Bizaardvark.
And maybe we told you some lies to get you not to be the house chaperone.
- We're sorry.
- So sorry.
- But now Liam's in love with you.
- Topsy-turvy.
And our instinct was to ruin that.
But we don't play that game anymore, girlfriend.
So, if you want to be in Bizaardvark Or to chaperone the house Or marry Liam and move to Toledo - Toledo? - Toledo.
Toledo.
The point is, it's your life, we care about you.
So, what do you think? What do I think? What do I think? I think you two are obsessed with me.
- I'm sorry? - Say what? It seems like you've been thinking about me a lot.
And, quite frankly, I am feeling pretty smothered.
- I'm sorry? - Say what? I think it's best that we have some separation between us.
Maybe I should quit being a chaperone.
And as much as you want me back in Bizaardvark, I have to say no.
I'm sorry, not sorry.
But you two need to get a life.
See you at school.
And seriously, respect my space.
Can you believe what she just said? It doesn't matter.
It worked! Oh my gosh, I didn't even hear that part.
It worked! We did it! For once, we didn't take the easy way out, did the right thing, and it didn't backfire on us.
In your face, universe! She's gone! Gone! Without so much as a TTYL.
Thank goodness I have my two best friends to lean on.
(mouths) Best friends? May I read you some poems I've written about my feelings? Uh Good.
They're very long.
This one's called "My Entire Childhood.
" Aah, it's happening.