Black-ish (2014) s08e07 Episode Script

Sneakers by the Dozen

The work culture in America is like no place else.
And much like the rest of the country, I work hard to give my loved ones everything and more.
But working this hard isn't just about keeping the lights on or teaching my children a proper work ethic.
It's about having dope stuff.
Now, you may just see these as shoes I use to cover up my gray-colored big toe, but every pair has a story.
I graduated Howard in these Air Trainers.
No one remembers that I graduated with a 2.
7 GPA.
They just remember that I walked across the stage like two-sport superstar Bo Jackson.
I wore these when I proposed to Bow.
I was on my knee for two minutes before she said yes.
It kinda ruined the mood, and the creasing in the toe.
Oh, and these? Virgil just did his thing with these.
I had to get a pair.
You see, I'm a sneaker guy, 'cause growing up in Compton, they were the only way I could creatively express myself without rapping or getting jumped after theater class.
And after landing the Super Bowl ad, it was time to express myself - - big time.
So, I'm taking the kids to school? Mm-hmm.
And I love sneakers because they're just like me cool, inspired by Black culture, and elite.
- Okay.
What do we got? - Yeah.
Hey, Dre! Cool kicks, player.
Hold up! I put on my holy grails and he's wearing my holy grails? There's not supposed to be two holy grails! Yeah.
Cool player.
I got your 911 text.
I came as soon as I could.
Look at this.
This shower-every-other-day chump Griffin is wearing the same shoe as I am.
I look like a Mark.
My name is Dre, and he made me look like a Mark.
What's the big deal if you guys are wearing the same sneakers? - They're just shoes.
- "Just shoes"?! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You are lucky that you still have the taste in your mouth after a comment like that.
- What? - My dad is wounded right now.
There is nothing worse than wearing the same pair of shoes as a man who was in a White fraternity.
Yeah, I'm glad somebody understands the gravity of this situation.
Oh, I lived it.
Last week, I went to therapy wearing my Yeezy 350 Turtledoves.
When I got there, my therapist was wearing them, too.
Cried for half the session and for the first time, it wasn't about my family.
Well, then, if it's such a big deal, just go to the mall and get a different pair.
Go Go to the mall?! - Oh, my God.
- Calm down.
Calm down.
You got this.
You cannot go to the mall and pick up hotness.
Let me go, son.
Mall sneakers are for ex-inmates and stepfathers.
I can't be showing up like this.
You know what I need to do? I need to go back to where it started - the streets.
- Mm.
Hit up one of my old spots and pick up some new hotness.
You know what? We'll cover for you.
Get out of here, big guy.
- Yeah.
Which excuse do you want us to go with? Bubble guts or a holiday that's like Juneteenth - that they don't know about yet? - Mm-hmm.
I have a real job up here, guys.
I'll go tomorrow.
Excuse me.
Uh Hey, Mom.
I need a favor.
For the last time, Diane, they don't do ride-alongs in ambulances.
No, no, no.
Um, I was just wondering Uh-huh? if I could have a day off of school.
Look, I have a ton of tests I have to study for, and Casey Emerson said she's gonna bring her pet rat to Bio tomorrow, and I can't handle that right now.
So, you need a Sanctuary Day.
What's that? Well, it's something I used to do with Zoey when she needed a little mental health break.
The key was, we kept it from your dad, 'cause he knows if you miss one day of private school, that costs him two Amiri sweaters and a dinner at Ocean Prime.
- He's done all the math.
- Sounds good.
- And it'll be our little secret.
- Okay.
And if Dad ever finds out, I'll just remind him that he was banned from Ocean Prime years ago.
Do you know that man still doesn't realize crab cakes are not actual cakes? Anyway, you stay home today, sweetheart, - and you recharge.
- Thank you.
You're very welcome.
All right, sweetheart.
Where did you come from? Black men have been magically appearing in doorways for decades.
Haven't you seen "Bagger Vance"? No.
You're letting that teenage girl walk all over you.
No, Pops.
It's all a part of my strategy to make sure that my daughters know that they can come to me no matter what.
Because today, it might be a mental health day, but tomorrow, Pops, it might be something way bigger.
Well, don't find out the hard way, or you're gonna have to change your name from "Rainbow" to "Mark.
" - What? - 'Cause you're acting like a Mark.
You know I never thought I would say this, but please stop hanging out with your son.
Hold up, he's hanging out with me.
Uh Griffin may have had me on the back foot, but I had a trick up my sleeve my secret shoe spot.
And this time, I brought back-up.
I'm sorry this is how we have to spend our day, but my dad is finally taking us to his secret sneaker shop.
Oh, that's why you're blindfolded.
He doesn't want anyone to know where it is.
Got it.
Well, I mean, he's cool with some people knowing.
What's up, Olivia? Why didn't you text me back? Because you're a teenager and I'm dating your brother.
- Mm, for now.
- What? - Bye, guys.
- Bye, babe.
All right, we're almost there.
They have the Friends and Family Edition with the special boxes.
I hear they only made like 200 pair of these.
- Wow.
- Whoo! What the hell? Who are all these people? Ugh.
When did this place become so commercial? You know, back in the day, I used to work at Foot Locker, and we never knew what we were gonna get until we cut the box open in the back room.
What? You know, sometimes, it was just grandpa shoes, and there were those moments when you would get that Jordan he had just wore in the dunk contest.
So you didn't even know when they were coming out? No.
Just feel it in my bones like rain.
Those were the good ol' days.
You know it.
Montrezl Harrell? What are you doing here, man? What do you mean? I'm trying to get these shoes.
- Been out here for hours.
- Man.
Can't believe I got my hair braided for this.
All right, well, stay up, Trez.
It's Montrezl Harrell.
- But is it really? - Oh.
That's it we're sold out.
What?! Sold out? Man, we just got in line! Yo, yo, yo, look at this kid.
They sold him more than one pair.
He just backdoored the whole line.
Get him! Oh.
Looks like Montrezl Harrell's off-season workouts have been paying off.
What are we supposed to do now? How are we supposed to get the shoe? They only made 200 pairs, and now eight of them are riding shotgun with that kid in his mom's minivan.
Well, there is this dude I know in Compton.
Not the kind of dude you want to owe a favor to, but he can get his hands on anything.
After driving around for 20 minutes to find a working payphone, I finally got in touch with R You know what? He's the kind of guy where if I mention his name, I'd have to bleep it out for my own protection.
Still, I made the call, and my dude gave me the address of the guy who was the Pablo Escobar of the game.
Hey, what's up, man? said he was sending somebody by for some sneakers.
I didn't think it was gonna be you.
I called my connect to get to the top of the mountain only to find out the mountain was named after this guy.
Thanks for the hook-up.
Hey, anytime, Trez.
He let you call him "Trez"? Now I know why everything is messed up.
If this guy is the plug, no wonder the shoe game is leaking.
Well, I'm surprised you're into sneakers, considering the fact you walk around the office barefoot.
Oh, man, I'm only shoeless if I need to think or sleep or make love.
Other than that, I'm wearing sneakers.
So, you're really serious about kicks.
Oh, yeah, man.
- Hmm.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, man, I love the whole game of it.
When I was 12 years old, there was a sneaker convention in Orlando while my family was there for Disney World, and I got my very first pair.
I got the original Reebok Pumps, right? I get back to school.
Everyone's making a big deal out of it.
I kind of became "the shoe guy.
" Hmm.
Come on, man.
Let's see if I got what you need.
There's no way he's a true sneaker fan.
This dude is just chasing clout.
He's a tourist.
He has a couple of pairs.
So, what do you think? Huh? Oh.
It's cool.
Anyone with money can fill a closet, but real love of the game means you know the history.
I don't know if he knows anything about the culture.
Hey, the Nike VaporMax.
I love these.
Which pack did this come from, again? The Next Ten.
They're nice, but, you know, not quite as nice as the Original Ten.
Mm, okay.
You actually have the Justin Timberlakes? Everybody and their mama bought these on Super Bowl Sunday, and then they tried to resell them on Super Bowl Monday.
Looks like you got caught.
Yeah, they're not my favorite, but, I mean, JT did give me this autographed pair, and I was just trying to be polite.
I mean, Tinker Hatfield absolute genius, but the Jordan 3's are classics, man.
He just He didn't need to try and reinvent the wheel.
Yeah, I mean, that's what I tweeted at the time.
Right? Ooh.
The, uh The tan on the midsole of your Air Max 90 "Bacon" seems off.
Yeah, my pair, uh, the tan is much lighter from the toe to the middle of the shoe.
Wouldn't surprise me if these were fake.
No, man, I I think you might be confused.
See, I-I think what you must have are these right here.
These are the 2021 reissued "Bacons.
" And see, it's got the lighter tan, and the pink on the swoosh is a little bit different.
This one here see, the tan, it gets richer.
You get that nice patina the older it gets.
What you're holding there, that's the 2004, man.
That's the original.
Those are super rare.
This one, though I mean, it's thi this is a cool shoe, too.
Yeah, could you just get me those shoes, man, so I can get out of here? - I got some errands to run.
- You got it, yeah.
What's your Venmo? Uh, "SneakerKang1.
" - "SneakerKang.
" - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
There it is profile pic of me and Nas.
Of course it is.
All right, money's sent.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Um, I just wanted to thank you again for yesterday.
- Oh.
- Yes, I know how lucky I am to have such an understanding mom.
Ally Sanders had to shave her eyebrows before her parents would pay attention to her, and now now they just growing in weird.
I'm so glad that I could give you this gift.
And just so you know, Sanctuary is here for you - whenever you need it.
- Really? - Wow, that is such a relief - Mm.
'cause I've been under a lot of pressure in school lately, and PSATs are coming up, and I've just been grinding on that.
Ugh, really? Yeah, and that's why I need you to sign this.
Oh, what's this? It's a form acknowledging that you know there are some assignments I haven't turned in.
- Oh.
- I'd ask Dad, but Oh, God, no.
Sweetheart, I'm I'm really glad that you that you trust me with this.
Oh, also, um, I was hoping to grab dinner at my friend Tall Ryan's house.
I-I hope that's okay.
I know Dad doesn't like me hanging out with someone before he finishes reviewing his background check, so Oh, no, you I've got your back.
Thank you so much for this.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
Um Oh, wow.
I just got a text.
- Oh, wow.
- Hmm.
Change of plans.
Yeah, I know.
Um, Tall Ryan's band is playing at a bar.
- They are? - Yeah, but i it's all good, because they're letting minors in, so I can, you know.
- Sanctuary.
- Mm.
And before you ask how old Tall Ryan is, - Sanctuary.
- That's it! That's it.
I will not be played by a little teenage girl, okay? I see what you're doing, and I thought that we were in this together.
But no.
I'm telling your father.
I'm-a tell him about the homework, about the not going to school, all of it.
- Telling your dad.
- Wait, what? Yes, sister! Okay? No more Sanctuary.
You just called me "sister" with a hard "E-R.
" Yes, sister.
You must really be mad.
Well I think my work here is done.
I didn't know you were back already.
Did you get the shoes? Yeah, I got 'em.
All right, let's see these bad boys.
I didn't even think these were real.
You could say these are worth more than my whole life, and I'd believe you.
Uh, they a'ight.
A'ight? Oven fries are a'ight.
Dad, these are your Moby Dicks.
Actually, I think they might be made out of whale leather.
You're probably right.
Griffin messed it up for me, man, all right? We create so much dope stuff only to have it stolen from us.
I swear to God, if I see one more White boy with diamond earrings and a fade, I might lose my mind.
It's real.
We lose something - every time it goes mainstream.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, when "SportsCenter" starts saying, "It's time to spill the tea," it's time to stop saying "It's time to spill the tea.
" Yeah, we need cultural reparations.
We create too much stuff to be priced or pushed out.
You know what? I'm done.
Excuse me.
Well, if he's done, then I can probably just take these, right? We're about the same size.
Sorry, playboy.
I can resell these and make a killing.
Besides, everyone knows you stuff your shoes.
Here's the thing at some point, a line in the sand has to be drawn.
People can't take and take and take from our culture without consequences.
The "Back to the Future" shoes? I thought those were urban legend.
We gave up jazz without a fight, and I'm not letting the same thing happen to something Black people actually still care about.
I'm about to liberate these shoes for the culture.
- Hey, Dre! - Oh! Hey.
What's going on? Uh, I got bubble guts.
Gotta take a day.
Boy, when are your guts not bubbling, huh? Boy, if you don't get them shoes off the counter before your mama sees 'em Pops, these shoes cost $15,000.
Your mama and her switch don't care how much they're worth.
Where'd you get them crazy things? They look like the shoes they wore when they faked the moon landing.
Yeah, I took them off this dude Griffin at my office.
Oh, great.
So, now I'm an accessory to a crime again.
Pops, you don't get it, all right? These are my 40 acres.
My reparations for us giving them Yeezys, uh, "Stankonia," and the Bankhead Bounce.
Boy, don't nobody Bankhead no more.
Yeah, but we should, Pops.
We should.
It seems as if they've taken everything and turned it into something with no context, no history something to be packaged and sold.
Yeah, I know.
It's frustrating seeing little pieces of our culture ripped away from us.
Did I ever tell you about this little barbecue joint in Inglewood? Had the best brisket I'd ever tasted.
No, you haven't.
Oh, it was my secret little spot until that damn Bobby Flay did his show down there.
Next thing you know, I can't get my corner table 'cause there's White hipsters in there looking like skinny lumberjacks.
See? So you stopped going.
No, I didn't, 'cause you know what, Dre? It doesn't matter who's sitting at the table next to me.
That place is still mine.
I just don't know, Pops.
I mean, I used to love sneakers more than I love most of my kids.
I just don't feel that fire anymore.
Well, don't let anyone steal your joy.
Okay, Pops, you're right.
- And, uh, by the way - Yeah? Stop trying to jump me in the line for reparations.
Have a little respect.
Pops, when I get it, weget it.
The truth is that Black people create amazing things, so Pops is right trying to stop other people from liking it is as impossible as plugging a dam with a toothpick.
Not so fast, big fella.
We wanted to get you a little something - to cheer you up today before work.
- Oh.
Yeah, we heard you crying and rapping "Air Force Ones" by Nelly last night.
You guys heard that? You were pretty loud.
Guys, I don't know.
Dad, come on.
Let us do something nice for you.
I mean, you've taught us all about the shoe game.
You know, it's what we all have in common.
You know how some families go on fishing trips or talk about their feelings? - Mm-hmm.
- We have shoes.
It's our thing.
You know what? This is my thing.
My thing with my kids, and I'm not letting anybody take that light.
Guys, thanks.
The colorway is all wrong, but Oh.
Thank you.
You know, this the closest he's ever come to saying he loves me.
You're joking, right? No.
I realized that it isn't about not having Jordans as a kid or even appropriation.
I love being a sneakerhead, and I love sharing moments with other sneakerheads like my kids and even this guy.
Hey, man.
Oh, great kicks.
Yeah, they're custom.
- You're looking at one of one.
- Mm.
You'll never get a pair of these.
Ugh, well, that's too bad, man.
But, you know, I just sold my whole sneaker collection yesterday.
- What? - Yeah, yeah.
I'm into vintage vinyl now.
In fact, our buddy in Compton set me up with this immaculate Jelly Roll Morton acetate that is just chef's kiss.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, good luck with that.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- Oh, and, hey, man.
- Yeah? - Keep an eye on those.
- Mmm? Somebody's been boosting sneakers from the offices.
There's probably something I should tell you.
I saw Josh walk into your office with a huge duffel bag.
- Hmm? - Mm-hmm.
Eh, we all know I'm not getting any other kind of reparations.

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