Black-ish (2014) s08e13 Episode Script


1 Okay.
So I'm just your standard, regular, incredibly handsome, unbelievably charismatic Black dude who's found a way to actually go from broke to the Oaks without a jump shot, number-one hit, or being Tyler Perry.
Against the odds, I made a home for myself with my beautiful and intelligent wife where we've raised five great kids and looked after my parents.
I may have grown up just a kid from Compton, but now I'm living the American Dream.
Hey, Johnsons! I couldn't help but notice all the hubbub happening over here, so I thought I would do my part and help out.
Wow, Janine, uh, that's a lot of wine boxes you have there.
Well, I host a lot of book clubs on Zoom.
Anyway, where are you guys moving? There's a little betting pool going on in the neighborhood, and I get extra points if it's Atlanta.
- Okay, uh, Janine - What? I mean, the neighborhood's not gonna be the same without you, but there is something about that dirty South! Am I right? Well, maybe I was living the Black American Dream, because stuff like this still happens every day.
I'm gonna Superman that! Whoo! These boxes are my parents'.
They're moving.
Oh, that's what's been happening.
Well, there has been a lot of chatter on Nextdoor about all the boxes coming in, all the boxes coming out, the meth camper just sitting in the driveway.
We're not moving.
Okay? We've lived here for 17 years, and we are very happy.
- Yes, very happy.
- Oh.
We are not leaving.
As a matter of fact, I think I might just buy up the whole block.
All right? Diane gets a house, Jack gets a house, Junior and Devante can split one.
Okay, there you have it.
Now it's Johnsonville.
All right, well, I'm I get it now.
I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.
Hold on one second.
Hey, Debbie.
We I mean, I'll I'll ask.
So you would definitely say no to an all-cash offer? We're not leaving, Janine! You're Come on, babe.
Let's go.
You know, this crazy white woman reminds me, we need to get some more wine.
Oh, absolutely.
17 years on the same street, and the whole neighborhood was still whispering about us behind our backs.
Ever since we moved in, there's always been a sense that we were oddities.
And if you look to your left, you'll see the mythical and majestic Black family.
Out of their natural habitat and yet still thriving.
Well, we're not so easily shaken.
We'll show them.
I'm gonna paint my house black.
All right.
Not exactly the tagline that I expected you to come up with for an ice cream ad featuring Simone Biles, but, uh, why don't we ask her what she thinks? I think we should keep workshopping that.
Yes! Excellent answer.
You know what? Why don't we just take a break, huh? Knock, knock.
Oh, he Oh, hey! Uh, okay, come on in, uh, Your Highness, Your Excellence, uh, milady.
Oh! What do they call the greatest gymnast of all time? Simone.
Got it.
You know, um, sorry about what happened back there.
You know, I got a lot on my mind.
Uh, just got to let my neighbors know they're not gonna run me out of town like Serena in a catsuit.
I'm not gonna give them what they want.
Can I ask you something? Mm-hmm.
What is it that you want? Okay.
Okay, I I-I see what you did there.
You know, but it's not about what I want.
You know, if I've learned anything, I would say you have to do what you want to do and not what anybody else wants you to do.
Do a gut check.
What's your heart telling you? Uh I think it's telling me that I need to make some changes.
Well, so, are you gonna listen? You've given me a lot to think about.
- No problem.
- Yeah.
Oh, hey! Simone, you know what would be cool? If, on your way out, you could do a backflip.
I'm not gonna do that.
I had to ask.
It's okay.
President Obama asked the same thing.
- I gotta talk to you.
- Okay.
All right, uh I got to tell you something.
I think I need to make some sort of big change.
Oh, God, please not the hand tattoos again.
Hey, babe, I'm serious.
Look at what's happening.
What? I'm about to buy up half the block because Janine asked a dumb question.
- Yeah.
- I almost took our kids out of school because Devante got one bad evaluation.
Babe, I'm I'm in a place right now where I'm questioning everything.
Me too, Dre.
I mean, between the election and the pandemic, it's just making me reconsider what's important.
- Really? - Yeah.
Babe, life is too short to not go after what you really want.
I agree.
So I think we should listen to four-time Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles.
- Simone Biles? - Mm-hmm.
She came up to my work today, and she told me to blow up my life.
- No.
- Yes, she did.
So what's your heart telling you to do? I think we should blow this bitch up.
Boom! That's my girl.
Yes! I think we should sell this house and move to a Black neighborhood.
- Really? - Really.
Can you imagine if Devante got to grow up around successful Black men and women that were not in his family? We've done Sherman Oaks.
Like, we did it, and it was good.
It was great.
But I just think it's time for us to do something new.
Let's do it.
You have always had my back.
Mama was wrong.
- What? - After 20 years, you finally figure out what to say to turn me on, baby! - Oh, oh! - Say it again.
Mama was wrong.
Oh, my God.
- Come here.
- I'm comin'.
Mama was wrong.
Ohh! Mama was wrong, baby! Bow and I were excited about our new future.
All we needed to do now was tell our family.
So we're moving to the hood.
- Not the hood.
- No.
You know, View Park, Ladera Heights, Baldwin Hills, or one of those other neighborhoods - where they film "Insecure.
" - Oh.
So, neighbor lady talking about Atlanta got inside your head, huh? My baby would never make it down there.
All that sweet tea and cobbler would send his diabetes through the roof.
Guys, we have always been talking about how on guard we are.
If we move to a Black neighborhood, we can relax.
You know how I come home and it looks like I've been through a 10-round boxing match? Eh.
I mean, I do notice the vein that looks like it's always ready to jump out your face.
Oh, my God.
There's just so much upside, you guys.
If we have Black neighbors, we're not obligated to be their friends.
We can just judge them by the content of their character.
- Oh.
- I feel like that was a shot at the Amukamoras.
You know, if I were to leave Devante outside before I drove to the park, I wouldn't be known as a bad Black dad.
I'd just be known as a bad dad.
Where did this even come from? Yeah, you said, and I quote, "Our ancestors fought way too hard for us to live in the same zip code as a check-cashing place.
" Yeah, that's because I was told my entire life that I needed to move out of our neighborhood if I wanted to succeed.
But that was not true.
I know you're skeptical.
Wait until we start looking at places.
Then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
I don't think I will.
And I would like to start the process of emancipation.
So we had some convincing to do.
But we were listening to our hearts, and we knew it would lead us to someplace special.
If this is what following your heart looks like, then this is not bad, Dre.
You know, this house, it's a great place.
I also have another bomb to talk to you about.
Oh, God, Dre, you cannot try every bathroom in every house that we look at.
No, it's not that, babe.
I mean, just seeing Devante in a place with such a bright future makes me want to be a bigger part of it.
I want to leave Stevens & Lido.
For real this time? Or is this like when you wanted to run the L.
Marathon? - For real.
- Really? I'm not gonna stop working.
You know, maybe do a little freelancing, but definitely gonna take a step back.
Which means you'd be carrying the load.
The fact that you think I'm not doing that right now is very cute.
- Ah.
- But I've got you.
Okay, okay.
Guys, guys, hey.
So, what do you think? Nighttime, chilling in the pool, whole city behind me? I can get used to that.
Finally, a house to match my lifestyle.
Well, then, this is the place.
This is our new home.
- Okay.
- What? Oh! Guys, guys.
Guys, here comes the Realtor, all right? Wipe that Black joy off your face.
Okay? We gotta play this close to the vest so we can get a good deal.
- All right? - Good point.
So, do you love it, or do you love it? Uh it's a'ight.
Yeah, I mean, you know, we don't actually have to move.
You said that the countertops were new, - but I'm not really sure they are.
- Oh.
A-and we're coming from Sherman Oaks, so we're a little concerned about the neighborhood.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I was making it all happen.
Fresh starts, new beginnings.
But this also meant leaving a job that had become like a second home.
Hey! Well, well, I always knew this day was coming, Dre.
I'm just, uh I'm relieved that it's not because of something I said.
You know, I've threatened to quit so many times that it, uh it feels weird to actually be leaving.
When I first came here, my plan was to steal your identity.
But the only thing that was stolen was my heart.
And a long-sleeve sweatshirt that was in the back seat of your car that I assumed you wasn't wearing because it had shoulder pads in it.
Dre, you know you don't have to go.
I mean, there's still time to change your mind.
I appreciate that, but taking this time is what's most important for me and my family.
Well, I've learned that we are a better place, a stronger place with diverse voices here.
- Mm.
- And I've also learned that I cannot say, "Looking for an uppity Negro" in the ad to replace you, even though that is really what I do want.
Truth is, you've, uh you made me a better person, and I'm really gonna miss having you around.
You've become one of the truest voices in my life.
That means a lot.
Come on, guys, bring it in.
Let's bring it in.
- Come on.
One last time.
- Mm.
You know you're making the right decision when things start to fall into place.
And as we got the keys to our new home, it felt like they would open up more than just doors.
Hey! How do you like the new house? Oh, it's it's great.
The neighborhood is great.
I really like how all the coffee shops are also art galleries.
Okay, okay.
Come on.
I can already see Thanksgiving in the dining room, a Christmas tree in the window.
And I'm pretty sure we won't be the only family that's putting out Kwanzaa candles.
Yeah, I mean, the house is amazing.
It's just it's weird.
You know, a part of me always felt like the old house would be there for me whenever I needed it.
But all this? It just means that that chapter of my life is closed now.
Then I realized, it's not just over for me this time.
It's over for all of us.
There are a lot of memories in this house.
So many.
Do you remember when Jack fell off the back of the couch? And he lost his tooth.
And Diane stole his tooth-fairy money? 'Course she did.
That's way back when.
When they were still sharing a room.
You know what? I'm, uh I'm just starting to realize that this is no longer our home.
This won't be the place that I come to every day to see the people that I love.
It's crazy.
I mean, I know it's happening, but it just doesn't feel real.
Yeah, I know.
I watched Junior not be able to touch those countertops, and now he's taller than me.
And, yes, I can admit it.
You know, at the end of the day, I keep telling myself these are just four walls, babe, but it It feels so much bigger than that.
It's 'cause it was our home.
We made a family here.
We spent our lives here I mean, good and bad.
Births a lot of births.
We did it together.
Right here.
You know that magic we felt the first time we walked in this house together, - I still feel today.
- So do I.
And we keep telling each other not to be afraid to fall because we have each other's back.
I'm so proud to say I did this with you, Dr.
Rainbow Johnson.
I would take a leap with you anywhere, anytime, anyplace husband of Dr.
Rainbow Johnson.
You're my favorite dance partner.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Should we get out of here? Yeah.
I guess.
This feels like so much unfinished business.
You know, when you finish college, - there's a graduation ceremony.
- Oh.
- You get married, there's a wedding.
- Mm-hmm.
When a loved one passes away, there's a homegoing.
What? I got it.
- Okay.
- I got it.
It occurred to me that, in order to move on to the future, we must honor the past.
And that's why we're here to celebrate our home for all the joy and love that it's brought us.
So, on our moving day, I want everyone to take a moment to think about what this house means to you to all of you.
$36,000 in free rent! Oh, Pops! Earl! Earl, stop it, Earl! Well I got to watch my babies grow up in this house and I want to thank you.
We lived in this house our entire lives.
Except for vacations.
- And school and the movies.
- Shut up.
Oh, boy.
Well, if we can't take the house with us, we can still take the memories.
I really wouldn't be where I am without the time I spent in this house or snuck out of it.
And I lost my virginity in this house.
- Son.
- Junior! Fine.
I "became a man" in this house, but we all know what that means.
Come on, man.
Okay, guys, this house meant a lot to everyone, but, uh I think it's time we move on.
Shall we? - Let's do it.
- Let's go.
Do do do-do-do ♪ Mm ♪ Do do do-do-do ♪ As around the sun the Earth knows she's revolving ♪ And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May ♪ Just as hate knows love's the cure ♪ You can rest your mind assure ♪ That I'll be loving you always ♪ As now can't reveal the mystery of tomorrow ♪ But in passing will grow older every day ♪ So, like I said, I'm just your standard, regular, incredibly handsome, unbelievably charismatic Black dude who is living his version of the American Dream.
- Ah.
- Thank God.
Your mother would've never forgiven me if we lost her wedding china in the move.
Can you believe all of this is ours? Perfect house, perfect neighborhood, perfect partner.
We are living the American Dream.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, yeah.
Hola, nuevo neighbors.
I'm Janine.
I live next door.
I thought I'd welcome you to our little barrio by bringing over my homemade taco salad.
No hablamos ingles.
- Adios.
- No, no, no, no! I just wanna say I just want to Did you pay above asking?! Son Doritos.

Previous Episode