Bonanza s01e10 Episode Script

The Magnificent Adah

(humming tune) (gunshot) (gunshot) (gunshot) Don't shoot! I'm not armed! (two gunshots) I'm not armed arm (horses approaching) Oh! Don't shoot! I'm not armed! Don't shoot a defenseless man! Fix him a rope, Hoss.
Right.
What are you? Oh, y-y-you You're not, you're not going to hang me? Just a little bit, friend.
Oh Why? What have I done? Well, you completely ignored a "No Trespassing" sign, mister.
This is the Ponderosa.
You think he was spotting cattle for rustlers, Adam? No, no, that's not true.
L-Look, my-my name is Durward Wotkyns.
I am the agent for Miss Adah Isaacs Menken's Company of players.
We open tonight in Virginia City.
Ticket tickets Look, look, here tickets.
The best in the house.
Pl-Please, be my guests.
Ain't it funny how a man will lie right up till the time you stretch his neck? (shuddering): No, no I don't know, Hoss, you think that limb's strong enough to hold him? Yeah, I think so.
He looks to me like he's most all blubber.
Yeah, I think it'll do all right.
Long as you don't flop around too much.
This is barbaric! I demand a trial.
Hey! Come back here! Come back here! Hey! (laughing) That's enough, fellas.
Well, I bet he remembers the next time he sees a "No Trespass" sign.
Hey, look at this.
JOE: Hey! ADAM: Hoss, you get rid of that thing before Pa sees it.
Ain't that somethin'? ADAM: Now, you heard what I said, Hoss.
What are you doing? Oh, uh, nothing.
I, uh, I was just getting this rope, Adam.
It's, it's an awful good rope.
All right, boys, let's go.
We got work waiting.
(theme song playing) What took you so long? Adam's door was open.
Yeah, you didn't have to take half the night.
Come on.
You're lucky.
You live all the way down at the other end of the house.
Sometimes Adam can be worse than Pa.
Hey, Pa didn't see you, did he? No, he ain't even home yet.
Here, help me into this dang blasted thing.
All right.
How come you ain't got no button on this shirt? Well, I just ain't got one, that's all.
Little Joe, Pa catches us at a show like this, he'll skin us alive.
You don't reckon anybody will recognize us, do you? Well, you got your brand-new suit on, don't you? Yeah.
You got your hair slicked down real nice.
Yeah.
Got your boots polished? Yep.
Who's gonna recognize you? Yeah.
Hey! MAN 1: Anybody else here want to bet my friend can't bend this horseshoe? MAN 2: Let me try.
You try, buddy, go on.
(laughter) Who else wants to try? Go ahead, friend.
(laughing) How about a little wager, huh? I got ya.
Fine.
You try, buddy.
Want to try? Go ahead.
(laughing) How about you, friend? Want to give it a try? Okay.
Come on, Sledge.
Here, show 'em how it's done.
Come on.
You just stay right there, honey.
I told you he could do it.
Come on, Sledge.
How about that, friends, huh? Do you know who I am? No, sir, don't think that I do.
I'm John C.
Reegan.
That's right, former heavyweight champion of the world.
Have a drink on the house and be on your way, Reegan.
I tell you what, I'll lick the best man in the house for all the liquor I can drink.
(chattering and laughter stop) Well? Outside, Reegan.
REEGAN: You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man.
John C.
Reegan, is it? Former champion.
You never was champion, Reegan.
Your manager had to stop the fight to keep you from getting killed.
What are you talking about?! Nobody ever stopped one of my fights! You've been flattened by every tramp pug in the business.
I'd lick you myself if I was still in one piece.
You do your fighting with your mouth, mister.
You got a friend that can do it with his fists? I'm buying Mr.
Reegan all he can drink, just as soon as my partner here gets finished with you.
Sledge, this fella says you're a dumb mud walloper.
You ain't got no more sense than a suck-egg mule.
Now, is that right? He says you're too stupid to even know how to fight.
Now, is that right? Honey, I'll be right back.
Get back, girls.
Why don't you sit down, Sledge.
Leave him alone.
Why don't you take a little walk, huh? Sledge don't know no rules, Reegan.
(glass shattering) (crowd murmuring) Get him, Sledge.
Give it to him.
Hey, sounds like a good ruckus in here.
Hey, listen, you want to go to the show, or do you want to fight? Well, I hate to miss a good fight.
But I hate to miss that show, too.
Well, then come on.
(people gasping) Stop it! Stop it, Reegan! Sledge, Sledge, are you all right? You didn't have to go that far, Reegan.
Sledge, Sledge, you all right? Somebody get a doctor.
Quick! HOSS: Bet this is going to be good.
You sure you got them tickets? Sure, I got them right here, don't worry.
Adam.
What-what are you doing here, Adam? I'm waiting for you two.
Oh.
Adam, Adam, we-we can explain everything.
Yeah, well, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do if the best seats are gone.
Come on, let's go inside.
Yeah, let's go! (applause) (laughter) (applause) Olinska.
Dear Olinska.
SENTINEL: Hark.
Who goes there? All is silent.
(laughter) All is silent! (laughing harder) He don't see her.
Olinska! Dear Olinska.
Ere yet the envious daylight robs my soul of this sweet privilege of drinking from thine eyes deep draughts of the bright liquid fire, which, as from the twin stars of love, stream through my enraptured heart, appear, dear life! (laughter) Appear, dear life (laughter grows louder) Appear! Cassimir, thou here? Oh, hence, hence! Wert thou discovered, think how fearfully my father's wrath would fall on the clandestine suitor to his child.
What can Cassimir dread, ennobled and emboldened by thy love? (applause) A thousand tyrant fathers I would brave, from all their wrath my lov'd Olinksa save Or earn an early, but an honored grave.
You tell 'em, Cassimir! Bring on her old man out! (laughter) But see, the dawn advances; the moon has sunk beyond the hoary hill; the glimmering lights are one by one extinguished and the hum of busy menials speaks approaching day.
Away, my love, away! (applause) She don't look nothing like this girl here on the poster.
Yeah, well, see, this is kind of mixed up.
See, the girl that's on this poster is playing a man in the show.
How come she wants to do that? I don't know.
That's just the way they do it.
(audience booing) Is my will obeyed and the wild horse secured? All is as my lord commanded.
Good.
Bring forth the miscreant.
(loud booing) (applause) I knew it! I knew he was going to catch up with him-- with her Shut up.
Oh, my father, pardon for him! Unworthy girl! All of the powers of this earth were ineffectual to assuage my vengeance.
(booing) Bring forth the untamed steed.
Hey, what are they gonna do to her, Little Joe? What are they gonna do? I don't know.
Now bind the traitor to him.
And let scorching sun, wintery blast devouring hunger and parching thirst rend the traitor! (booing) Dearest father, in thy mercy, save him! Plead not for me, Olinska.
Perish as I might, it is sufficient glory that I die for thee.
Now bind the traitor to him.
Hey.
He sure was a girl, wasn't he? He sure was.
(audience clamoring) (audience member whistles) Hey, boo! Boo! Shh! Come on! No, no, no! Shh! Come on, Hoss.
Shh! Come on now.
Launch the traitor forth and let the story of his fate strike terror throughout Poland! HOSS: No! No! No! No! No! (woman screaming) Hoss! Give us a little beer, Charlie.
Coming right up.
Boy, I sure thought she was a goner when they put her on that horse.
I could have told you not to worry.
They never kill off the hero.
Well, I'll tell you this: Be a big mistake to kill off anything like that.
I'm with you, Hoss.
Hey, Little Joe.
Hmm? Listen was she or wasn't she? Was she or wasn't she what? You know.
No, I don't know.
Ask Adam.
Adam, was she or wasn't she? Was she or wasn't she what? Naked.
Well, now, you, uh, you got eyes.
You saw her.
Yeah, but exactly what did we see really? (chuckles) She was wearing tights.
Besides, what difference does it make? What difference does it make? Ladies and gentlemen, the highlight of the evening! One of you lucky gentlemen will take home the garter worn by Miss Adah Isaacs Menken.
(all shouting excitedly) Hey, it's Pa.
Here you are, boys.
And may the best man win.
(men clamoring) MAN: Come on, throw it, throw it! Over here.
Come on, over here.
BEN: Now, what's the matter, Adah? Nothing, Ben.
Just get me out of here.
WOTKYNS: Well, I'm sorry, boys.
There'll be other times.
How about a beer, please? Coming right up.
I hope the next time you Right away.
What happened down there, Adah? Nothing, Ben.
Ben, don't look so severe.
Suddenly, I feel tired.
That's all.
You're sure? Positive.
You don't mind if an old friend worries about you a little? Please don't ever stop.
(knocking on door) (insistent knocking) Ben.
Pheasant, lobster.
And my favorite champagne.
You remembered.
I had it shipped in from a Boston importer when I heard you were coming.
It isn't often that I have a chance to entertain such a beautiful lady.
You're lonely, Ben.
Oh, uh, I have the Ponderosa and my boys.
They keep me pretty well occupied.
And, uh, every once in a while, a dear friend passes through.
To the incomparable Adah Menken, more beautiful than I ever remembered.
Happiness.
All right, out with it.
What's wrong? It has something to do with Reegan, doesn't it? I'm a good listener, Adah.
Ben, you know most of the story.
Well, when Reegan returned from England, he was broke and finished as a fighter.
Even his manager deserted him.
Somehow, he found me in St.
Louis.
I I gave him money.
All I had and what I could borrow.
He promised he'd never bother me again.
You saw him tonight in the saloon, didn't you? Yes.
He's worthless, Adah.
He's never drawn a sober breath.
Please, Ben.
I'm sorry, Adah, but when I think of the way the man has treated you, the way he's beaten you I don't want to talk about it.
What are you going to do? See Mr.
Reegan out of town.
Make sure he never bothers you again.
No, Ben, don't interfere.
I can handle him.
Can you? Please, keep out of this, Ben.
I won't make any promises, Adah.
I'm sorry.
Uh, we'll celebrate our reunion some other time.
Good night.
Ben I'm sorry.
I know how you must have looked forward to this evening.
Forgive me? There's nothing to forgive.
Good night.
Good night, Ben.
(clearing throat loudly ) How did you get in here? That rube that just left-- could he make you feel like that? Get out of here before I call the manager.
Now, that would only lead to trouble, and you don't want any more trouble, do you, Adah? Who was he? Ben Cartwright, an old friend.
It won't work again, John.
Ben's an old friend, nothing more.
Well, seeing you two at the door, I got a different impression.
If you have any idea of blackmailing Ben or getting any more money out of me, forget it.
Ben'd kill you first.
I'm broke, John.
That's why I revived the Mazeppa.
Well, I understand you're on top, Adah.
Oh, you should never have retired from the stage and denied your public.
(chuckles) Oh, I saw the way those miners were looking at you tonight.
You filth! Now, you look here, Adah, I won't be bought off this time.
You're never going to get rid of me again.
Get out of here! Well, when you change your mind, I won't be far away.
Brought your horse over from the livery stable, just like you asked, Mr.
Cartwright.
Oh, thank you, Billy.
Uh, go take him back to the stable, bed him down for the night.
I've decided to stay on in Virginia City.
Watch it, Adam.
Adam I've been thinking about Pa and that woman.
Well, what about Pa and that woman? Well, I don't like it none.
Pa ain't got no experiences with them actresses.
Leastwise, none he ever talked about.
Well, I guess he can handle it.
I thought I told you to bring Pa along.
Pa didn't come home last night.
Just now Hop Sing sent his clothes into town.
What for? He's move into the International House.
Where that woman's staying? Yeah, and that ain't all.
Last night, they had champagne in her rooms, and tonight, Hop Sing says Pa's having her over the house for supper.
What did I tell you, Adam? What do you make of it, Adam? Well, she sure works fast.
Guess we'd better have a little talk with our pa.
Oh, it's a man-sized spread, the Ponderosa.
Over a thousand square miles of the finest timber and grazing land west of Salt Lake.
At last count, we had more than 10,000 head of cattle grazing in the lowlands.
It's an empire, Ben.
And to think, it all belongs to you.
And the boys.
They're very fine boys.
You should be very proud.
Oh, they'll do.
I envy you Cartwrights.
It must be wonderful living so close to the land.
Well, we have our problems.
Protecting what's ours from outsiders.
You do that very well, I imagine.
Yes, ma'am.
It was a delicious supper, Hop Sing.
Really superb.
Oh, you lady got sense.
Hop Sing all the time break back, cook fancy grub.
Nobody appreciate.
You come supper all the time.
Well, that makes it official, Adah.
You're part of the family now.
Oh, I'd better get you to the theater.
Hop Sing, bring the carriage around to the front, please.
No eat desert? Hop Sing fix special.
Well, Miss Menken has a performance to give tonight.
Now, come on, get the carriage around.
Rush, rush.
All the time, rush around lickety split.
(laughs) He's delightful.
He needs a woman's discipline.
We all do, eh, boys? Good night, Adam, Little Joe, Hoss.
We'll be seeing each other again soon, I hope.
Good-bye, Miss Menken.
LITTLE JOE: Hey, Pa? Yes? Oh, Pa, we We want to talk to you, Pa, private-like.
Well can't it keep? ADAM: No, Pa.
I'll wait for you in the carriage, Ben.
Well, what is it? Well, out with it.
Pa, promise you ain't gonna get mad, now.
Well, what's on your mind? Speak up.
Well, it's, uh It's about what's been happening to you, Pa.
Yeah, Pa, we know you're still a young man and Well, you must get lonely sometimes and Well, I know you're sick and tired of having us around, but Well, we You know what your brothers are trying to say, Hoss? Now, Pa, you promised not to get mad.
Then speak out plain.
Well, Pa she's an actress.
I see.
So, that's what's been troubling you three all evening.
You don't think Miss Menken is good enough for your father.
Well, let me tell you something.
Adah Menken is all the woman that a man could want, and I'm very proud to be seen in her company.
Yeah, but, Pa, she's just Now, don't say it, Adam.
Now, don't you boys think that I'm old enough to take care of myself? Pa, we we're just doing it for your own good.
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
An now, with your permission, I'll accompany Miss Menken back to town.
(crowd applauding and cheering inside opera house) Bravo! (cheering continues) Oh! Miss Adah, I told him not to go in, but he went right in anyway, and I Find Ben Cartwright.
Tell him not to wait.
That you'll escort me back to the hotel.
But, Miss Adah, I Never mind.
Just find him and tell him.
Yes, ma'am.
Adam, I didn't know you were coming to tonight's performance.
I didn't come to see the performance.
I think you know why I'm here.
Yes, I think I do.
Don't you think your father is a wise enough man to take care of himself? Look, Adah, you have your way of life.
We have ours.
Do you also speak for your brothers? In this case, yes.
Tell me, Adam.
When did you first decide I was a bad woman? When you saw me with your father or Or when you saw me on the stage? What are you afraid of, Adam? What makes you think I'm afraid? You came here to say something to me.
Why don't you say it? I don't think words are necessary.
You know what I mean.
Well, now, at least, we understand each other.
Adam, what happened? What did she say? None of your business.
Hey, what's eating him? Oh, I guess older brother didn't make out so well.
What are we going to do, Little Joe? We we got to help Pa.
Yeah, well, you know, it takes a red-blooded man to persuade a woman.
Yeah, but where we going to get one? Hey, where you going? To get a shave and some clean clothes.
This is no way to meet a lady.
See ya, Hoss.
(knocking on door) Who is it? Room service.
Well, you must be mistaken.
I didn't order anything.
Compliments of Mr.
Cartwright.
How sweet of Mr.
Cartwright! "To a lovely lady, clothed in the light of her own beauty" Joe Cart Joe Cartwright? At your servant, Miss Menken.
Little Joe.
Just Joe, ma'am.
You Cartwrights have a flair for the unexpected.
I think when you get to know this Cartwright a little bit better, ma'am, you won't be surprised at anything.
Oh? And, uh, you take, uh, you take my brother Adam-- now, he's the dependable one.
He's a worrier.
And then there's Hoss.
Well, Hoss is just plain Hoss.
And what about your father? Well, Pa? Pa never changes.
He's he's the same year in and year out.
You've got everyone pretty much figured out, haven't you? I guess Pa's had his day, but of course that was when he was much younger.
And now you think he should be retired into the background, is that it? We don't have to talk about him, do we? No.
We don't.
Why don't you pour the champagne.
(lock clicks) Yes, ma'am.
(cork pops) You're a very handsome man, Joe.
Oh, I don't know.
Do you have many girls? Yeah, quite a few.
Are they wild about you? Yeah, some of them are.
They're fools-- letting you out of their sight.
(clears throat) Yeah.
Here, let me fill your glass.
Well, there's plenty of time.
We've got the whole evening ahead of us.
Hey, how would you like me to get you something to eat? (laughing): At a time like this? You're wonderful, Joe.
You make a woman feel at ease-- yet wanted.
I'm glad you came.
Hey, boy, you know, it's really-- it's getting hot in here now.
It's perfect.
Hey, Miss-Miss-Miss Menken Adah.
Yeah, A-Adah-- Adah, look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about why-why I came here.
Oh, I haven't got the wrong idea.
I know exactly why you're here.
And I won't disappoint you.
You'll get everything you deserve.
Hey, what was that for?! Teach you a lesson you obviously needed.
Hey, now, Miss Menken, I can explain.
I ought to have you horsewhipped-- coming in here with the ideas you had! Listen, I only did it for Pa.
To show him what kind of a What kind of a woman I am? Yes, ma'am.
Uh, no, I mean, no, ma'am! I-- well, I Let me tell you, Little Joe.
Your father moved into this hotel to protect me from someone out of my past.
And for no other reason.
I'm, I'm sorry, ma'am.
I-I didn't know that.
This is something between my Pa and you and, uh, I'm sorry I made a fool out of myself.
You Cartwrights are quite a family.
(knocking on door) Is that Pa? He usually checks to see if I'm all right.
You'd better go.
Through here.
(knocking) What-what about the champagne, the flowers? Don't worry.
I won't tell him you were here.
I wasn't thinking about myself.
You're sweet.
Hurry.
Oh, here.
(insistent knocking) Just a minute, Ben.
All right, where is he?! Where'd the Cartwright kid go? I know he's here.
You're drunk.
Well, you always did know, didn't you, Adah? Look at yourself-- brawling in saloons and the back alleys.
All right, don't change the subject.
Where did the kid go? He isn't here.
Why do you do it, John? Why do you act this way? You could still be champion of the world if you wanted to be.
Well, that's all in the past, so forget it.
I can't forget it.
I remember what you were like.
What-- how things used to be between us.
Now I have to listen to them say you're all washed up.
Oh, I could still handle myself.
You ought to see the respect in their faces when I finish beating up one of these rubes.
You're still the big man, aren't you? Well, I'm all the man you'll ever have.
Now where did the kid go? John, I don't have much left-- a few jewels.
I'll give them to you if you promise you'll leave town without causing any trouble.
Take them.
You know, I, uh I was never able to court you with champagne, Adah.
But then I didn't have three sons to do my lovemaking for me either.
Get out of here.
Must make you feel like a queen, Adah.
Ben Cartwright propose to you yet? He hasn't any intentions of marrying me.
BEN: That's not quite true, Adah.
Make a move, Reegan so I can kill you.
Well, I'm not armed, Cartwright.
Don't interfere, Ben.
I'm asking you to be my wife, Adah.
That gives me every right to interfere.
Now, Reegan, you be on that morning stage to Salt Lake or get yourself a gun.
Now get out.
I will settle this, Cartwright.
My way.
Oh, you won't shoot an unarmed man.
I'll give you the same chance you gave that minor.
That was a fair fight; ask his partner.
Ask anybody in the bar.
Get out.
Move! (cocking gun) I hope you know what you're doing, Cartwright.
Little Joe! How'd you make (groans) Now don't say anything else about Adah Menken.
Little Joe, I-I ain't even open my mouth.
Yeah, well, just don't.
Go on finish your beer.
I'll see you outside.
Cartwright? Yeah, that's right.
My name is Reegan.
John C.
Reegan.
Remember that when your Pa asks.
Sure.
Howdy.
Ah, you're one of those Cartwrights, aren't you? Yes, sir, most people just call me Hoss.
I don't think I've had the pleasure.
A drink for the house on John C.
Reegan.
MAN: Yes, sir! (all cheering) All right! Come on, over here! Cerveza! (lively chatter) Well, I've known you a long time, Adah.
You know, I've I've thought of you often.
Read about you, wondered what had happened to you.
Seeing you here Ben, you're a lonely man.
Maybe you're mistaking loneliness for love.
What about you? Now, how long will you be content to go on running away from yourself? From Reegan? What do you think your sons would say if you married the notorious Adah Menken? My sons? What do my sons have to do with it? You're a very close family, Ben.
I wouldn't want to change that.
Well, my boys need a woman around the house as much as I do.
Boys? They're not boys, Ben, they're grown men.
Maybe Little Joe or Hoss would accept me, but but Adam Well, Adam is hardheaded but he's my son.
Yes, I know.
What do you mean? He came to visit me backstage.
He's very much your son.
Adam.
You're a very desirable woman, Adah.
Thank you, Ben.
You're a wonderful man.
But I'd rather settle for half a life than than come between you and your sons.
Half a life.
That's all you've ever had.
Maybe that's all I understand.
Maybe it's best I'm leaving tonight for San Francisco.
I wish I'd been able to ask you before those little boys became men.
I'll be checking out shortly.
Would you prepare my bill, please? Yes, sir, Mr.
Cartwright.
Pa! Pa, somebody might near beat Little Joe to death.
Lay him down on the settee.
How is he? Got a gash over his optic nerve Your brother may be blinded, Adam.
Anybody know who did it? Little Joe couldn't say.
He's coming to.
Easy, son.
Now don't try to move.
Can you see me? Pa? Don't try to talk.
Everything's going to be all right.
If you can see me, blink your eyes.
Pa? Easy, son.
If you can see me blink your eyes two times.
That's good, son.
That's good.
Everything's gonna be all right.
Your Pa's right here.
Pa? You just rest easy.
Come on, ask him who did it.
I know who did it.
The greatest heavyweight that ever toed the mark.
That's my friend, John C.
Reegan.
(slurping) Fought all the comers and he licked them all! Never knocked out in 37 fights.
DRUNK MINER: He still would be champion if he hadn't been robbed.
Old dirty thieving crooked referee! Give him your gun, Adam.
BEN: Do as I say.
Reach for it, Reegan.
Reach for it! With this busted up hand? I couldn't find the trigger, Cartwright.
Now, if you want to settle for what I did to your boy, you're gonna have to shoot me.
Or do it with your fists.
Pa, let me do it.
Keep out of this, Hoss.
Pa, you gotta let me do it.
Little Joe and me, Pa, is You just gotta let me do it.
You just stand aside, Hoss.
Let go of me! MINER: Ah, no gouging or biting, men and no kicking the other fellow when he's down.
(grunting) Adam, let me go! Adam! (grunting) (glass shattering) Hoss! I ain't whipped yet, Pa.
Don't try to fight him, wrestle him! (Hoss grunting, Reegan groaning) (Reegan coughing, groaning) (panting) HOSS: Get up! Stop it, stop it! Don't hit him again.
I'm sorry, Adah.
Help me, help me.
It's all right, John.
It's all right, John.
Hoss.
I'm all right, Pa.
I just don't understand.
How can she? She's a woman in love.
With a man like that? Well It's hard to figure, isn't it? She could have any man she wants.
As I think you found out.
Beats me.
Woman as beautiful as that in love with a There are many kinds of love, Hoss.
As many kinds as there are women.
(sighs) Well (spits) (sighs) Let's go see Little Joe.

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