Bonanza s02e14 Episode Script

The Ape

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Hyah! Hyah! Freddy I'm homesick.
Would you buy me a drink? Me buy you a drink? Your job's hustling drinks from the customers.
But I've been trying! I can't get anybody to buy me anything.
Maybe if you'd stop crying in their beer all the time about being homesick you'd make out better.
It's a long walk back to Memphis, Tennessee.
You'd throw me out in the street, wouldn't you? Your cut on them drinks is what we're gonna have to eat on tonight.
I haven't been able to start a game all day.
Go on in and get me a beer.
I'm going to go in here and see Dave Stone a minute.
Right.
Sherry, those boys just coming in the Cartwrights they own a big ranch.
Get busy.
The young one is just a baby.
So sell him milk.
Long as you get your cut.
Howdy, boys, and welcome.
My name's Sheribelle.
You can call me Sherry.
Uh, pleased to meet you.
I'm Adam Cartwright.
This is my brother Joe.
Howdy-do? It's my pleasure, ma'am.
Would you like to have a drink with us? Why, thank you.
I believe I might just do that.
Hey, Dave, let me have four beers.
Hoss will be along in a minute.
Uh, my turn to pay, isn't it? No, I've got it.
Let's play blackjack and win enough to buy champagne.
Is the only thing you ever drink champagne? You'll have to catch me to get your dollar back.
Oh, honey, I'm going to catch you.
You can bet on that.
I'm sorry.
I I didn't know you were there.
Now I'm trying to apologize like a lady.
The least you can do is Will you let go of my arm? Ow ouch! Take your hands off of me! You're hurting my arm! Will you let go of me?! Let go of me, you big ape! You're the ugliest man I've ever seen! You got somethin' to say to me? No, not me.
Whiskey.
Well, I got money.
Don't suppose he's human.
Well, I'm not fixing to find out.
You don't have to.
Well, he's a customer, and customers are my business.
Hey, Sherry, better not.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Well, maybe he'll buy me some champagne.
Hey! Big man! Buy me a drink? Wow.
I like big men.
Even if they are uglier than sin.
I don't especially like 'em stupid.
Why'd you call me that? Look, uh, the lady didn't mean anything by that.
Why'd you say that to me? I'd like to apologize for the lady.
I ain't talking to you! Look, if you don't want to accept an honest apology, why don't you go back to the bar and forget it, huh? One hour and 15 minutes and they ain't even moved the last ten.
Dad-gone! I'm sure gettin' tired.
How 'bout you? What are we fighting about, you know? I don't know! Whoo-hoo-hoo! You know, you're dang near as strong as I am.
And you smell nearly as bad, too.
Come on Hey, you don't suppose they done something to their heads, do you? My goodness! Two great big boys like you fighting over a little thing like me.
Gracious.
A body would think you'd have better sense.
Not that it isn't flattering, of course you understand, but My goodness where did you get those shoulders? Boy, Arnie, I swear, I I know some mules that would like to be able to kick as hard as you can hit.
Boys, please, you're you're making me all butterflyish inside.
All that trouble over little me.
Uh, name's Sheribelle.
You can call me Sherry.
Sheribelle Now ain't that a purty name? Ain't that a purty name, Hoss? Yeah, that's that's a real pretty name.
Hoss, we got to get moving.
Pa's probably waiting supper for us.
Arnie, these are my brothers.
This is Adam and Little Joe.
Hi, Arnie.
Purty, ain't they? Well, they're not they're not really as bad as they they seem.
You fellas go on.
Me and Arnie's got some talking we got to do.
Now, uh, Hoss, haven't we, uh, lost enough time on this already? Go on, Adam.
They don't like me.
You'll You'll learn to like one another once you get acquainted.
There! I bet that didn't hurt you a bit, did it? Hurt me? No, ma'am.
I've never seen anyone with such big muscles.
Well, I sure hope Hoss knows what he's doing.
Ah, you know he's always picking up stray critters bringing them home, patching them up.
Remember that, remember that grizzly cub he found up on the Tahoe rim? Yeah, well, that was just a cub.
This time he's got himself a full-grown bear.
This is it, Hoss.
Arnie, this is where you live? Oh, it's got a good roof on it.
Yeah.
Well I got you home in one piece anyhow.
Hoss? Yeah, Arnie? Wasn't she the purtiest the purtiest girl you ever did see? I ain't never seen nothin' like her.
That's That's her job, being nice to folks, Arnie.
I wouldn't give her too much credit.
Oh, no, Hoss, she can't help being nice.
I can tell.
I'd like to see her s-some more.
Arnie, you don't, you don't think for one minute that Well Well, what I'm, what I'm trying to say is that Arnie, girls like Sheribelle, they, they ain't interested in a man unless he's got money.
Oh, I got some money.
A feller a feller give it to me.
What feller? Some feller.
I don't know who he was.
I forget.
Oh look here, let's let's get you out of here and get you into a rooming house somewhere.
I don't want that.
I don't like houses much.
Arnie, you can't just live here.
Well, this is a good place.
They ain't nobody else a-around.
Hoss you're my friend, ain't you, Hoss? Sure I am, Arnie.
You ever have a friend before? Sure I have.
Well, I was raised with my brothers, Arnie.
Brothers is different.
I ain't never had a friend before.
Course you have, Arnie.
No, I didn't! You know why! People get scared of me.
People just take one look and-and they don't like me.
Well, I like you.
And I took more than one look at you.
Well, well, well, maybe you're a-a little more like me.
Your brothers they just took one look.
I can tell.
I always been able to tell.
Oh, I don't blame nobody.
Well, I ain't exactly a palomino, myself.
Looks don't mean everything, Arnie.
I-I guess I ain't too smart, too.
People don't leave me alone.
I get mad sometimes.
I oughta be used to it, but I get mad.
What I need's money, Hoss.
It's gonna take a lot of money.
What's gonna take a lot of money? My farm.
I-I used to live on a farm.
Y-You ever live on a farm, Hoss? Yeah, I I guess I sort of live on a farm now.
Yeah? Ain't nothin' like a farm.
I used to get up real early in the morning and go out and slop the pigs.
Whole bunch of little old baby pigs.
They ain't hardly got no hair at all just a-squealin' and a-eatin' away.
And that ol' sow, standin' over 'em, making sure every one of her little babies gets enough to eat.
How come pigs is better'n people? You really liked it back there, didn't you, Arnie? They, they ain't nothin' like a farm.
When I get my farm, ain't gonna be nobody mean on it.
I'm gonna have cows and pigs and maybe even some sheep.
And they all gonna get along good together.
And just them animals and me.
And, well, maybe maybe somebody else.
How'd-How'd you like to come out and go to work on my place? The Ponderosa.
Well, what'll your brothers say? Well, they ain't got nothin' to do with it.
It's-lt's up to me.
Me and my pa.
I-I could make some money.
Hoss, you think Sh-Sheribelle would like me i-if I was making some money? I I wouldn't count on it too much, Arnie.
That-That Sheribelle she's a she's a funny girl.
That's the way I feel, and I know Adam will back me up all the way.
That's right, I do; and I'm sorry, Hoss.
Now, wait a minute.
There ain't nothin' wrong with Arnie.
He-He's just a great big strong man.
He-He ain't too smart, that's true.
But that don't mean he can't do a job.
I'd just as soon have a wild animal working for me.
He's strong as a bull and just as dangerous.
You can't trust him! That ain't true, Adam.
He don't mean no harm, Pa.
He-He don't mean no harm?! I just won't be able to use my jaw for a week.
Well, that'll be a relief.
All you do with it is jaw, anyway.
Come on, the sun's up.
We got work to do.
Just remember, Hoss we didn't do anything to make him that mad.
If you hadn't come along when you did, he might've killed somebody.
What about it, Hoss? Is that the way it was? Oh, it wasn't all that bad, Pa.
Sounds as though it were.
Why do you want to get mixed up with somebody like that? I guess I just understand him.
I sort of put myself in his shoes.
When When you're as big as-as Arnie and me, Pa, you Well there's some things he's got to learn, Pa, some things that I learned.
Don't you think he'd be better off learning those things by himself, the way you did? Pa, I didn't learn 'em by myself.
I had you and Little Joe and Adam to back me up.
Arnie ain't got nobody, Pa.
You mean he needs a friend? He's got a friend, Pa.
A man like Arnie just can't afford to go around losing his temper like ordinary folks.
He's got to learn to put up with a little teasing.
Sometimes even from a girl.
He needs me, Pa, to help him learn those things.
Can you teach him to control his temper? I won't stand for any troublemaking.
Aw, Pa, Arnie ain't gonna start no trouble.
He's pretty good at ending it.
Well all right.
We can always use a good hand on the Ponderosa.
Thanks, Pa.
Soon as I finish work, I'll go into Virginia and get him.
Hey, everybody, look! Look at the big muscle! Hey! Let's have a little drink, hmm? Mm-hmm.
All right, here we go.
Hello, Arnie.
Hoss, y-you come back.
Sheribelle, this here is my friend.
You got lots of friends, Arnie.
S-Sit down, Hoss.
We're havin' a good time.
Yeah, I can see you are.
This here's Freddy.
He's a friend of mine, too.
- Any friend of Arnie's.
- Yeah, sure.
Take all you want, Hoss.
I-I paid for the whole bottle.
I was just saying, Arnie is the strongest man I ever saw.
Yeah, I-I'm awful strong.
Only, I guess Hoss is about as strong.
Arnie, I got good news for you.
Yeah? Me and my pa want you to come to the Ponderosa and go to work for us.
Sheribelle you hear that? I-I got a job.
Whoopee! That's wonderful.
Now you can buy me some presents.
Sure I can.
I-I never thought of that.
I-I can buy you presents and-and purty little things.
Arnie, aren't you forgetting something? What am I f-forgetting, Hoss? Your-Your farm.
You was gonna save your money and buy yourself a farm, remember? Oh, no, I wouldn't forget that, Hoss.
I-I'm gonna have a farm.
You're going to be a farmer, Arnie? Uh-huh.
I'm gonna have a big farm.
Gonna raise pigs.
A pig farm.
Did you hear that, Freddy? That's what you ought to have Sheribelle a farm.
You're too nice a girl to work in a place like this.
That's exactly the way I feel about it.
Well, I-I've always wanted a little cottage somewhere out in the country.
With roses.
Oh, yes! With lots of pretty roses.
And maybe some pretty little moo-cows.
Every girl ought to have some moo-cows.
Shut up, both of you.
W-What's the matter, Hoss? Well, Arnie, you're a long ways from being ready to raise moo-cows.
Well, a feller's got to start somewheres.
They ain't nothin' wrong with roses and-and stuff.
Hoss Cartwright, you're just an old grouch.
I think it's wonderful that Arnie wants me to have all those pretty things.
And if Arnie wants moo-cows, I think he should have moo-cows.
Fine.
I know where there's need to be taken care of.
Come on, Arnie, you got to get up early on the Ponderosa.
Aw, Hoss, n-not right now.
Right now, if you still want the job.
Oh, okay, Hoss.
Don't you worry none, Sheribelle.
I-I'll come back, and I'll bring you somethin' purty.
Sure.
Maybe just a little moo-cow.
There's your pony, Arnie.
He's all yours.
Mount up.
This is my horse? For as long as you want him.
That's the purtiest thing.
I-I come here, I just had the clothes I was wearin'.
Now I got a friend I got a job and and people are good to me, and now you give me a horse.
I-I don't know what to say.
Aw you ain't gotta say nothin'.
Go on, mount up.
Let's go.
Uh, hey, Pepe.
Uh, how do you say, uh, "pony"? Caballo.
Come on, uh ca-ballo.
Let's go to work.
Doing real good, Arnie.
Sure a big fella.
Maybe bigger than you, Senor Hoss.
Well, he ain't no smaller, that's for sure.
And he eats twice as much.
I'd sure hate to have him get mad at me.
Won't have to worry about that as long as you feed him good.
We've got plenty of frijoles, Senor Hoss.
Well, I-I ate an awful lot.
Uh, did I eat too much, Hoss? You always take what you want that's what it's here for.
I don't think you did much good eating before.
Well, I-I used to get awful hungry.
I-I ain't never had a job before.
Arnie, you, uh, you told me once that a man gave you some money.
I don't want to talk about that.
- What'd you say?! - I say you'll never tire, because you're the biggest bean-eater in the country.
- You're a liar! You're a liar! - No, Arnie, no! No! No! - Senor Hoss! Senor Hoss! - Arnie! Arnie, what'd he say to you? They was laughin' at me! Th-They was talkin' 'bout me! We didn't laugh at him, Senor Hoss.
We were only having a little joke.
I told you, he don't joke easy.
Arnie we're your friends, don't you understand that? I-I'm real sorry, Hoss.
I just got mad.
I-I won't do it no more.
Honest, Hoss.
Arnie, I told you you could work here, as as long as you didn't cause no trouble.
Now that goes for fighting.
Anybody.
You gonna kick me off the ranch? By golly, I ought to.
Well I got it coming.
I'm sure gonna miss my horse.
Aw, shut up, you ain't goin' no place.
But you said you was gonna I said I ought to, and I oughta! But I ain't gonna.
Go on and get you a cup of coffee.
What are you doing out here? Pa sent me out to tell you - Hoss? - In a minute, Arnie.
What's the matter, you having trouble with him? I can handle Arnie.
Ain't nothin' wrong, is there? Yeah.
Remember that squatter you threw off the ranch a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, I ain't, I ain't likely to forget Jake Staple.
Next to Arnie there, he's the biggest man I ever tangled with.
Yeah, well, he's not so big now; he's dead.
- Dead?! - Yeah, Sheriff rode in late this afternoon.
Told Pa they found his body up on the Carson.
He'd been robbed.
- Sheriff said - I want to tell you something Arnie, I told you I'd talk to you in a minute.
Now, go on, sit down.
How was he killed? Somebody broke his neck.
Snapped it like a matchstick.
Wow.
That'd take some doin'.
Yeah, it would.
What I got to say is, I-I never mean to hurt nobody.
I just get well, I just get mad.
I-I don't know why, I just get mad! I don't wanna! It's a scorcher out there.
Let's have another.
Hoss, there's something I got to do before Sheribelle gets here.
Oh, I got to buy her a present.
Oh, Arnie, you ain't got to buy her nothin'.
But, Hoss, I promised her.
She likes me, Hoss.
Arnie Sheribelle's a a saloon girl.
It's her job being nice to fellers.
But well, dang it, that don't mean she really likes you.
I never know'd a girl before.
N-Not never.
They didn't even want to talk to me.
I-I just gotta buy her somethin'.
I-I just gotta! All right, Arnie, you you got your week's wages; don't spend it all.
Dave Where's your tame grizzly? He's out spending his week's wages.
On a present for me? Why don't you leave him alone? He ain't never done nothin' to you.
Ah why don't you buy me a little old drink? You know, uh, it wouldn't be too much trouble for a girl to get to like you.
No, no, I reckon not.
No more so than getting to like Arnie.
Oh! That big ape?! If you think he's such an ape, why do you bother with him? Well, he's a customer.
Besides, they pay me to be nice to customers.
And he's good for laughs.
And around here, a girl needs all the laughs she can get, let me tell you.
Well, don't push him too far.
He ain't got much of a sense of humor.
Now, don't you worry Arnie bores me.
And once the novelty wears off he's just a joke.
If that's the way you feel about it, then you won't mind not seeing him anymore.
Mind? I'd be tickled to death.
And if you don't want your big dumb friend coming in here, then just keep him away from me.
Hoss! Lookit here.
Ain't it purty? Uh, cost me purt near all my money.
Sheribelle's a-gonna love 'em.
Arnie, Arnie, I don't think you're gonna be able to give 'em to her right now.
Why not, Hoss? Well Well, she ain't in there now.
The bartender told me she wasn't gonna be back till later.
But I-I ain't never bought no presents for nobody before.
Sheribelle's a-gotta see these.
I want to give 'em to her now.
Arnie, I-I done told you, the bartender said she wasn't gonna be back in there till late tonight.
But that's a long time, Hoss.
Aw, it'll pass before you know it.
Anyhow, while you're waiting, I want you to come take a ride with me there's something I want to show you.
- Wh-What is it? - Well, now, I can't tell you.
I got to show you.
Well, where are we going? Up to the Tahoe Rim.
It's sort of a favorite place of mine.
Uh, then can I come back and give Sheribelle her present? Uh, promise? If you still want to.
Come on.
Take a look at that, Arnie.
Oh Pretty, ain't it? I-I wish I was a tree a-growin' here so I couldn't never move away.
There's a little place all the way across the lake over there, about 150 acres, I'd make it.
Seems almost a shame to waste it on cattle.
Sure would make a fine farm.
Good meadow, water.
Fine stand of timber.
Wouldn't take too much for a man to buy it, neither.
Well, who owns it, Hoss? Well, I do right now, but Arnie, you could own it in a couple years, if you'd work real hard and save your money.
Oh, it's prettier than I-I even e-ever did dream it could be.
A little ol' cabin over there, s-some roses.
Well, I don't know one flower from another, but Sheribelle likes roses.
Arnie come here and sit down.
Arnie, I I spend a great deal of time up here.
This is grizzly country.
Old big grizzly, he likes it up here where the air's clean.
He can live and hunt like a grizzly's supposed to.
He likes it by himself, 'cause he don't need nobody else.
But you get down lower, you you get into the wolf country.
The wolf travels in a pack.
He'll track down a herd of deer, and cut out the weak ones and tear 'em down.
The sick ones.
The old deers that can't run no more.
People are sort of like that, Arnie.
They There's them that, like the wolf, they run in packs.
And then there's others that like the grizzly, they they like to get up in the country where the air is clean.
They can make their own way.
'Cause they don't need nobody else.
Arnie me and you we're bears.
We ain't wolves.
I-I don't understand you, Hoss.
Arnie, I don't want you to go back into Virginia City, tonight or no other time.
But I got to.
I-I-I got to give Sheribelle my present.
Arnie you can have that land over there, you can have it tomorrow, but that girl don't go with it.
You can move on your farm, now, if you'll promise me you'll never see that girl again.
You want her that's what it is! Now, Arnie, wait a minute.
You want her yourself.
And you call yourself a friend of mine.
Arnie, don't you understand? She don't care nothing about you.
She's been laughing at you all along.
You're a liar! Arnie, I swear it.
She's been making fun of you, Arnie.
She admitted it to me.
You're trying to make me believe something that ain't true! I'm going into Virginia City and get her right now.
Arnie, wait a minute.
You said you was my friend, but you ain't! Hoss? Don't you understand, Hoss? I ain't never had a girl before.
Arnie? Arnie? Arnie! Wait a minute.
Where you going? My feet are killing me.
I've got to change my shoes.
It has been a long night.
I'm kind of tired myself.
I'll only be a few minutes.
Take your time.
Suppose I bring you a little nightcap.
Sure.
Why don't you do that.
You.
All right.
What are you doing here? Well, I-I didn't mean to be late.
Hoss wanted to show me something.
Will you get out of here.
B I guess I shouldn't have come back here.
I-I should have stayed outside.
Can't you understand English?! I don't want to see you in here, out there or anywhere! Look, I brung you these here beads.
You dumb fool.
You stupid fool.
Do you think I care what you bring me? You're just something to laugh at.
You're just good for laughs! Now, will you get out of here before you stop being funny.
No! You better not mean that! You stupid clown.
You're a stupid, ugly, smelly clown! No! Sherry? Help Somebody, help.
Help! but be careful.
He's big enough to tear a man in two.
I believe I'd as soon see him brought back dead as alive.
Yeah, I shoved that door open, I saw Arnie standing there like a, like a ape or somethin'.
Sheribelle laying on the floor like a broken doll.
Arnie took one look at me, let out a roar, yelled he was going to kill me.
You boys know I'm no hero or anything he's about twice as big as I am, but I tried to stop him anyways.
And there's the man who's responsible for all this Hoss Cartwright.
If it hadn't been for Hoss Cartwright, Sheribelle would be alive right now.
Now that's just about enough of that.
Maybe the Cartwrights did make a mistake by giving that man a job, but it was an honest mistake.
- Where's Arnie? - Pa Hoss, if you know where he is, tell us.
He killed a girl last night.
Huh And you're ridin' after him? He worked for us.
We have a responsibility.
It's all my fault, Pa.
No, it wasn't your fault.
You tried to help him.
Hoss, do you know where he is? Well, I ain't I ain't for sure.
I I know where he might be.
I'll tell you where it is, Pa, but you gotta promise to give me a head start.
Why? 'Cause I gotta see him.
I gotta try to explain before they get to him.
Look at 'em they'll tear him apart.
Hoss, you can't let him go.
Now, he he has to be punished.
If you try to get in between him and the posse, they-they'll tear you apart, too.
Yes, sir, I I know what's got to happen, but he's my friend, Pa.
I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't just leave him out there to die all alone.
Where is he? He's at Granite's Point on the rim.
At least, I I think he is.
All right.
You go to him.
Hoss be careful.
Thank you, Pa.
We're about ready, Ben.
That's Hoss Cartwright riding down the street.
I want to know where he's going.
Will you shut up?! Ben, where is Hoss going? Well, why do you want to know, Roy? You ain't letting him get the jump on us so's he can warn that Arnie, are ya? Hoss knows Arnie better than any of us.
He's just trying to keep anyone else from getting killed.
By helping that murdering maniac to get away? Now, Roy, you know that isn't so.
If it was, I wouldn't have let him ride off like that.
Ben, I should have known that you and Little Joe was just as anxious as we are to get that woman-killer to a rope.
We're anxious to see justice done.
It's the same thing.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna shoot that wild man on sight, and if any of you have any guts, you'll do the same thing.
Now, if you want to go on this posse, you're gonna do what I say.
Get back there.
You about ready to lead us out to this Granite Point? I'll get you there.
All right.
All right.
Mount up, boys.
But don't any of you take any chances.
You was right, Hoss.
She was laughin' at me.
Hit me with the beads I brung her.
I know.
I I hurt her real bad, didn't I, Hoss? Arnie Arnie, you you killed her.
I-I guess I knowed I did.
I-I loved her, Hoss.
Why didn't she know that? You killed Jake Staple, too, didn't you? Well, I didn't mean to.
I-I come in his camp and he just took one look at me, and he flung hot coffee in my face.
It hurt awful, Hoss.
Well, I got mad.
I-I guess I just hit him too hard.
And you took his money? Wasn't going to do him no good, and I was hungry.
Don't you see, Hoss? I didn't mean to hurt nobody.
That feller, he burnt me and and I got mad.
And And Sheribelle, she was laughing.
Arnie, it's all right.
It's all over now.
They're coming after me, huh? They got to, Arnie.
I always knowed they'd be comin' some day.
I'm I'm terrible sorry, Arnie.
Hoss? Yeah, Arnie.
I'm glad you brung me up here.
This is a good place.
I almost had it, didn't I, Hoss? Little ol' farm.
Little bunch of squealing pigs slopping out their trough, and ol' mama nosin' 'em around.
I-I come awful close.
Arnie, turn around.
Wh What's that for, Hoss? We're gonna go down and meet 'em.
I-I want to stay here.
Arnie, get your horse.
I ain't goin'.
Arnie, we we're going to ride down there together, just you and me.
Now, I ain't gonna let 'em hurt you.
You try to stop 'em, they'll hurt you, too.
No, they won't.
I'll talk to them.
They ain't gonna hurt nobody.
You're right, Hoss.
You wasn't lying to me.
You're the only person I ever knowed who wouldn't lie to me.
I'll go with you.
You're doing the right thing, Arnie.
Come on.
I couldn't let you do a thing like that, Hoss.
They'd have killed you, sure.
Hey, wait a minute.
I thought I saw something up there.
Arnie? I don't know.
Granite Point's only about a quarter mile up now.
I tried to help him, Pa.
I know, Hoss.
He didn't want me to get hurt.
He never wanted to hurt anything.
I'm going to take Arnie to his farm.
This has been a color presentation of the NBC Television Network.

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