Boston Legal s01e13 Episode Script

- The trial starts tomorrow? - I can bring you up to speed on it.
- The facts are straightforward.
- And why can't Tara do it? Well, Tara's a junior associate.
This trial's gonna be in the news.
It's hardly the kind of case that Brad, it isn't the case so much as it is the client, right? And it isn't who she is so much as what she is, right? What is she, Brad? - Can't you even say the word? - I can say it.
Well, what is she, Brad? She's a homosexual.
- And what's the word for a female homosexual? - A lesbian.
- I couldn't really hear that.
- She's a lesbian! You don't wanna do the case because your client's a lesbian? Lori, this is a high profile case.
I've worked my entire life to associate with decency and what is good for America.
- And lesbians are bad for America? - They have bad values.
- Reflects poorly on all of us.
- As a nation? Now would you like to tell me the real reason? - What do you mean? - I know for a fact you've represented gay clients before.
Not on television.
Not in the news.
Brad, we're friends.
Level with me.
What is it about this particular lesbian? I'm attracted to her.
Why does Shirley get to skip the staff meetings? She's got a trial in New York later this week, so she has a busy day.
Some of us have trials today.
So if you don't mind, I'd like to cut out.
What's your case about, Brad? What is it about? It involves interference with contractual relations.
You mean lesbians.
Where are you? Today they're calling Tracey to testify that her ex-lover Lesbian ex-lover.
To testify that Tracey was scamming her for money.
Tracey was, in fact, not an actual bona fide - Lesbian.
- You like saying it.
- I do.
- Say it again.
- Lesbian.
- Keep going.
Lesbian, lesbian Lesbian.
All together now.
- Lesbian! - I also like to watch.
- How many people like - All right, that's enough.
This is a staff meeting.
I'll ask you all to conduct yourselves appropriately and professionally.
Cookies, everyone.
Nourishment is most important in the morning.
- Who is this woman? - Take two, Tara.
You're a rail.
- Who is this woman? - The ones on the left have a little bran to help our older lawyers with their routine.
- Who is this woman? - I'm Catherine Piper.
I'm Alan's new assistant.
My, don't you have an interesting face.
We are in the middle of a staff meeting.
No need to be snippy, dear, especially since I come bearing treats.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
You certainly make one with all that bleach.
Ma'am, you will have to leave.
I'm beginning to not like you.
If you'll excuse me, I have a trial myself.
- You have a trial? - Yes, tomorrow morning.
I've gotta go meet with my client.
- What kind of trial? - Criminal.
It's a doctor who did something against the law.
Who else is with you on this trial? Nobody.
I decided to fly solo.
Think about that.
Tell Shirley.
Denny Crane without a copilot.
Dear God in heaven.
- Shirley.
- Alan.
- You're in the men's room again.
- I need a favor.
- Certainly.
My stall or yours? - Driving into work this morning I heard of a trial involving this new wonder diet drug.
The drug, and accordingly the trial, are making the news.
And then I heard something very disturbing the name of the lawyer handling the defense.
- Denny Crane.
- Nobody wants this firm held up to ridicule.
Nobody wants Denny exposed.
I've been in court with Denny.
He knows what he's doing at least 50% of the time.
I like him.
You like him.
I have to be in New York.
If she tries to pee standing up, come and get me.
Lock and load.
Tracey, we can still make this go away.
- How many times must you both say that? - Until you've considered it.
Are you sure you want your personal life probed with details at 11:00? I didn't steal from her.
And I won't offer her anything to settle.
I'd appreciate you being on my side.
- Hey, we're on your side.
- All right.
We met at an AIDS fund-raiser about two years ago.
We were both publicists, so we had a lot in common.
And at some point, Miss Rogers, you and the defendant became lovers? Yes.
She moved into my home.
Ultimately, we became business partners and formed Rogers & Green which became one of the top P.
R.
Firms in Boston.
- And what happened? - Well, quite simply after she gained access to my files and my clients, she stole them.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
I since learned that she's not even gay.
That she basically pretended to be so that she could gain access to my client roster.
Now, Miss Rogers, when you allege that the defendant pretended to be gay She had boyfriends before me and one after.
Perhaps that makes her bisexual.
It doesn't make any difference because I specifically asked her that at the beginning of our relationship.
- Whether she was bisexual? - Yes.
I'd been hurt before by heterosexual women experimenting.
And I didn't wanna go down that road again.
She told me she was gay.
That was a lie.
- One that cost me valuable clients.
- Just let me understand this.
The basis of your claim is that my client faked her sexual orientation for the sole purpose of getting you to fall in love with her so she could move into your home and business and steal your clients? - Yes.
- When, in fact, it wasn't only your business.
- You built it up together over the two years.
- I founded the company.
And most of the clients that she left with were mine.
Now, Miss Rogers, as business partners as a couple, you two were quite prominent.
Isn't that right? Your photos were constantly in The Globe or Boston Magazine being called the new "It" girls.
You two got more publicity than your clients.
It works to the clients' benefit as well, so I don't see your point.
Well, my point is that you two got a lot of publicity together as a couple.
Business just went through the roof.
Even if you were defrauded, it wasn't exactly to your financial detriment.
It was certainly to my detriment when she left.
Well, but even so, you make more money now than you did before even meeting Tracey.
- So how could you have been hurt? - How have I been hurt? She caused me to fall in love with her.
That That's what this is really about.
Isn't it, Miss Rogers? This isn't a business dispute.
This is a domestic one.
- Did she break your heart? - Objection.
I'll allow it.
Did she break your heart? Yes.
You were in love with her? Now, Miss Rogers during the two years that you were together with my client do you feel that she was in love with you? Yes.
Obviously should I get a criminal conviction that will only make it easier for the A.
M.
A.
To take away my medical license.
Oh, you're gonna lose your license, Bob.
So I wouldn't worry about Why? There are many doctors out there prescribing medication the F.
D.
A.
Hasn't approved for May I stop you? - Don't be self-righteous.
It's annoying.
- Sorry I'm late.
What are you doing here? You asked me to second chair, Denny.
Remember? Alan Shore.
- Bob McLean.
- Alan.
- I never asked you to second chair.
- Sure you did, Denny.
- You said you were trying the case and - Solo.
I said solo.
Well, I thought you asked for backup.
So I guess one of us is losing our mind.
What do you mean by that? Denny, I'm here.
As you know, I'm starved for criminal work.
I want to do this alone.
Is this about proving something? You said, "Tell Shirley.
" Is this about proving to Shirley Schmidt you haven't slipped? Excuse me.
I'm in a meeting.
Denny, I don't have time to say this nicely, so I'm just gonna say it with all the rough edges.
This is a criminal proceeding.
That man's liberty could be at stake.
I'm jumping in second chair to cover his ass, and yes, possibly yours as well.
Could it be possible she's doing this for the publicity? Suing me? Well, call me a cynic, but for two years, you're the "It" girls.
You're Boston's top publicists.
Business starts to wane, you leave, she's suddenly not the flavor of the month.
She sues you, presto, hot copy, it's the "Split" girls all over again.
For the cost of attorney and filing fees, she's featured on every newscast.
As much as she loves the limelight, Stephanie's honorable.
Yeah, I wonder.
Is there a reason you keep looking at me like that? Like what? I make you nervous.
You need to get over that.
So how many men have you been with? Why are you asking? I asked her because she's going to be asked on the stand why she has such a hard time giving me a straight answer.
- However - Is because? I have doubts that she really is one.
- A homosexual? - Yes.
And are these doubts based on the plaintiff's evidence or your own scientific compass? - Is she attracted to you, Brad? - She might be.
- What? - Why is it men I mean, is it the idea oflosing one to the other side? Or is it since you have feelings for her, you're anxious to believe it's mutual? You see, you sucker me with this buddy talk get me to reveal my feelings, and then when I do, you punish me with them.
I thought you were attracted to me.
- You don't wanna go there.
- Even so to be forgotten so easily, and for a homosexual.
Is there something taped to my forehead that says "mock me?" Isn't coffee a lovely drug? I love brain stimulants, don't you? - Uh, Catherine Piper.
- Brad Chase.
Brad Chase? You're defending the lesbian.
Hi, I'm Lori Colson.
We haven't officially met.
- Hello, dear.
Catherine Piper.
- Mm-hmm.
For the future, I don't really appreciate comments about my hair.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to make conversation.
And I assumed you wouldn't want me to go anywhere near your eyebrows.
I tried diets, all of them.
I exercised.
I'd gone on Fen-Phen years ago and that helped a little.
But mainly I just kept getting bigger.
And at some point, the defendant mentioned a new drug.
Yes.
I forgot how he said he had access to it.
But basically he said he had this new drug, not on the market yet, called Rimonabant.
And studies showed how it could help people lose weight.
And desperate as I was, I just said yes.
- He sold you this drug in his office? - Yes.
And he told me not to tell anyone because he said it was illegal for him to be giving it to me.
Thank you, Mr.
Harrison.
Can't help but notice you're really fat.
- Yes.
- Been fatter? - Much.
- Drug worked? Huge.
I mean, I lost weight.
My cholesterol went down.
- My H.
D.
L.
Actually went up.
- Mm.
I mean, it was a godsend.
Of course, until the, you know, police cut off my supplier.
Objection to the word "supplier.
" It makes my client sound like a drug dealer.
He is a drug dealer.
He sold him drugs.
Yes.
But there's a bias that goes with the word "dealer.
" He simply prescribed him medicine to help him live.
- He's right.
- This man almost died.
- Didn't he? - Didn't you? I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes.
I mean, I was at serious risk for a major heart attack or a stroke.
I probably still am.
Since you stopped taking the drug? I'm having problems again.
Did my client tell you that this drug is unapproved by the F.
D.
A? Yes.
Did he tell you that there could be side effects? - Yes.
- You were fully informed? - I was.
- You consented? - I did.
- Take it again? - Absolutely.
- Like the doctor? - Love him.
- How's your memory? - My memory's fine.
- What's my name? - Denny Crane.
- Like you mean it.
- Denny Crane.
- What's my name? - Denny Crane! No further questions.
Stephanie Rogers is essentially accusing Miss Green of being a heterosexual in sheep's clothing.
If successful, the plaintiff could potentially receive a judgment in excess of seven figures, which is why perhaps this Wait.
She wasn't finished.
It doesn't matter how it's playing out in public, Tracey.
What matters are the 12 people in that box.
- And? - I can't tell.
Well, you've dated more men than women so that puts you on the heterosexual side of the fence.
You certainly could have been confused, as they said.
But the problem is you're coming off as anything but indecisive.
You seem like a woman who knows exactly what you want.
- What is that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
You actually think that I'm attracted to you.
I just believe you should be straight with people.
You know what I mean.
I smell some deceit here.
I'm gay, Brad.
Do you want me to take a lie detector? People lament the cost ofhealth care.
They cry over soaring litigation costs and scream about the eroding integrity of our medical profession.
The conduct of this doctor and others like him are to blame.
- Oh, lighten up, man.
- Mr.
Crane, you'll get your turn.
We have rules.
One is we do not go prescribing experimental drugs that the F.
D.
A.
Hasn't approved for market.
- Even if the patient consents? - The patient will always follow the lead of his doctor.
For God's sake, look what people buy off infomercials.
They'll try anything.
Hair potions, pills that make you lose weight while you sleep.
Desperate people will try anything.
And when you have a licensed doctor saying, "Here, take this,"they will.
This isn't a potion.
This drug works.
In preliminary studies.
But there's much, much more testing to be done.
How long does it take the F.
D.
A.
To approve a drug? - It isn't quick but - How long? - Nine years.
- My client's patient would be dead by then.
- But, hey, you've got your rules.
- Objection.
- Oh, be quiet.
- Your Honor, he can't tell me to be quiet.
Let him have his turn, Mr.
Zale.
You say that doctors shouldn't prescribe non-F.
D.
A.
- Approved drugs That's a rule.
- Yes.
- Doctors don't prescribe medications for things that the F.
D.
A.
Hasn't approved them for? Off-label prescriptions happen, but Have you ever prescribed a drug that wasn't approved - for the particular condition you were treating? - Yes, but And, Doctor, if you were overweight and at risk for an imminent stroke or heart attack is it your testimony that you would never consider taking Rimonabant? For myself, I might, but But you wouldn't give your patient the same opportunity because you have rules.
You're going to be the first lawyer sued by his client for sexual harassment.
I'm a good lawyer because I got a nose for the truth.
You're attracted to her, Brad.
It's clouding your nose.
- Are you falling in love with this woman? - What? Please.
- Are you? - Of course not.
- I put a tail on her.
- I beg your pardon? I hired a P.
I.
Just to follow her around, see who she sees.
What she sees.
You're trying to out her as a heterosexual.
- I don't like surprises in court.
- Okay, first, you could lose your bar ticket for putting - Why? It's not that big of a deal.
- Brad, she's your client.
Second, let the jury decide whether or not she's being truthful.
You just be her lawyer and only And third stop hitting on her.
Hey, Brad.
All together now Lesbian.
Boys, how's our trial going? You think I'm just gonna wither up and die in there, don't you? All these references to our sex life, Denny.
- Tell her how I'm doing, Alan.
- Please.
- Since he can't recall.
- He's been amazing.
- I'd say we have a better than even chance.
- Ah.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Is there a reason you're snuggled up to me? Why, yes.
I understand you're the boss, dear.
I'm sucking up.
- By standing next to me? - Yes.
With me by your side, dear, you almost look young.
I have no idea who you are, but I like you.
Is he really doing okay? The firm is safe from ridicule.
What did she want? - Make sure I'm competent? - Something like that.
You were more than competent today, Denny.
- You were good, very good.
- I know.
We must be doing our crosswords these days.
Did she ask you to backstop me? It was my idea.
Damn liar.
I like doing cases with you, Denny.
Can't you just accept that? It's fun.
Fun.
Fine.
I'll go with that then.
You have seemed especially acute.
Are we taking something? I just rubbed on a little clear cream.
It was just for muscle cramps.
Denny? Are you taking something? What I am taking is good care of myself.
The old Denny Crane is coming back.
Well, our business had reached sort of a plateau.
And I felt I could do better solo.
And truthfully, I thought that she might too.
- Now, before leaving, did you tell your clients? - Absolutely not.
I left.
I contacted them.
They decided to come with me.
- In that order.
- Now, Tracey, we've heard the accusation that you pretended to love Stephanie for business reasons.
That's absolutely false.
L I fell in love with her.
I mean, the idea that I could feign love for two plus years just You know how much I loved you, Stephanie.
Miss Green, please do not address anyone but me or your counsel.
I never lied to her about my sexual orientation.
And I'm offended by that.
How many women had you been with prior to your relationship with my client? - Objection.
- Overruled.
However salacious, it's an issue.
- How many women? - One.
One.
And prior to your relationship with my client - how many men had you had sexual relationships with? - Several.
Several.
More than five? - Yes.
- More than 10? I wanted to lead a heterosexual life.
Eventually I realized My client asked you if you were bisexual, you answered no.
Because I'm not.
I may have been with men in the past but ultimately I realized I preferred women.
How many relationships have you had since Stephanie? - One.
- With a man or a woman? Well, the breakup with Stephanie was extremely painful.
Your subsequent relationship was with a man or a woman? - A man.
- A man.
Now, you spoke earlier about the exact order ofhow things went down.
Rewinding a little further back you met Stephanie, became her lover eventually became her business partner, left with clients and files began having an affair with a man.
Did I get the order right? I just got destroyed, didn't I? You didn't get destroyed.
It was a tough cross, but I thought you held up.
- Really? - Really.
You know to think that I'm straight is to believe that I am a profoundly dishonest person.
And I'm not dishonest, Brad.
- Okay.
- You know, I I can take you doubting my sexual orientation but my character, I, uh I don't doubt you.
- She's trying to admit something.
- What? That she's not gay? I don't know.
Maybe.
You're making a fool of yourself, Brad.
- I know when I'm being deceived.
- The deception is self-inflicted.
You're infatuated with her, and you want to believe it's reciprocal.
She's probably more interested in me than you.
You're making a fool of yourself.
I considered it life or death.
He was at risk of cardiac arrest, diabetes.
- And this drug was your only resort? - It was my last resort.
Believe me, I am not in the habit of prescribing non-approved drugs.
- But this - Doctor, would you tell the jury and me, too, for that matter, because I've forgotten how Rimonabant works? It suppresses a protein in the brain that makes you want to eat.
In fact, this drug blocks nearly all cravings.
It can be used to help people quit smoking, drinking.
Which is why it's been called the wonder drug.
So you just figured, "What the hell? Why wait for proof?" My patient couldn't wait, Mr.
Zale.
He was looking at an imminent physical demise.
In medical terms, we call it death.
Any published studies on this drug tojustify this wonder status you give it? - Not yet.
- Has this drug been approved for sale? - Not yet.
- How'd you get your hands on this drug, Doctor? I had a connection at one of the clinics where it's being tested.
I won't reveal more than that.
You're a licensed doctor prescribing a drug not approved by the F.
D.
A.
To desperate patients.
With a full warning.
How can you warn about a drug side effect you don't know about? The warning that I gave Mr.
Harrison was exactly that.
This drug may have side effects we don't know about.
- Possible fatal side effects? - There's no evidence of that.
- So you decided - Balancing the benefits against the known risk of a coronary if he doesn't take it - I favor taking the medication.
- This is an experimental drug.
- Which I have no financial interest in.
- Which you bootlegged.
My only concern was a patient's health.
So doctors should feel free to ignore the F.
D.
A.
Whenever they choose? - I never said that.
- Oh, so you should feel free whenever you choose? Sometimes desperate circumstances require desperate measures.
And desperate people will do anything, won't they? Denny.
You're checking on me in here too? You think I forgot how to piss? - I beg your pardon? - I'm tired of being followed around like some patient! I change my underwear every day.
I know how to practice law.
If you're the one who assigned Alan Shore to backstop me, then you'd better stop - You listen! - I'm still talking! Now I'm talking! You arrogant old fart.
You have a client facing prison time.
You have no right to exalt your ego.
- Don't you talk to me in that - Shut up! I am sick of you feeling sorry for yourself and only yourself.
It was selfish of you to try this case solo.
Do not start a war with me here.
You may not win it.
That's why you brought Shirley back.
To build an alliance! Guess you're the one who forgot how to piss.
Does it smell right to you? She had a history of men before my client.
She never hinted to her best friends that she was anything but heterosexual.
She had an affair with a man after she left my client.
Her only fling with homosexuality just happened to coincide with the biggest financial windfall of her life.
Suddenly being gay got her money got her profiled about town in magazines, on TVas an "It"girl.
Newfound fame, newfound money newfound sexual orientation.
Does it smell right to you? In order to make a cause of action for fraud one must prove that he or she relied on the fraud to his or her own detriment.
Now after partnering with my client Miss Rogers's financial and professional fortunes soared, she benefited.
In fact, one might even say considering the media coverage of this lawsuit that she's actually benefiting from the breakup because as any P.
R.
Professional knows, there's no such thing as bad publicity.
But if you're determined to get hung up on the issue is Tracey Green gay or not did she really love Stephanie or not consider Stephanie's own testimony when I asked her during the relationship as she was living it did she feel that Tracey loved her.
And she answered yes.
But now in the wake ofhurt and heartbreak, she offers a different answer.
Which version do you find more reliable? - Anything? - No.
They're still deliberating.
- What's this? - I haven't the slightest idea.
Your secretary said you'd want it sooner rather than later.
- What is it? - It's nothing.
It's just another case I'm working on.
Do I have to convince you of the danger of prescribing non-approved drugs? Defrauding overweight people with diet gimmicks is a billion dollar industry.
And now we're going to let doctors get in on the racket? And say, "It's okay to sell black market pills under the table.
" It's precisely because physicians have such an influence over their patients that we demand that drugs be approved by the F.
D.
A.
But this doctor decided he shouldn't be held to that.
But this doctor decided he shouldn't be held to that.
This doctor figured he's above the law.
This doctor is the equivalent of a drug dealer selling cocaine in an alleyway.
And he should be punished accordingly.
- I thought I was closing.
- I'm first chair.
- You got to ask all the questions.
- Objection, Your Honor.
These two have tried to trivialize the severity of this case with their Abbott and Costello routine, but it's an insult to this court.
Your Honor, it's only fair I get to do something here.
Mr.
Shore, the court is anything but amused.
- I'm not triv - No, l-I got it.
We'll split it.
- You go first.
- Fine.
Okay, first, this big deal about F.
D.
A.
Approval.
Doctors prescribe medications every day for uses the F.
D.
A.
Never considered.
Aspirin for years has been used to prevent and treat heart attacks.
Did the F.
D.
A.
Ever test for that? No.
It was sanctioned only as a pain reliever until recently.
Beta blockers are prescribed for migraines with no F.
D.
A.
Approval.
We take anticonvulsants for pain, for bipolar disorders antidepressants for insomnia, steroids for cancer.
People in this country are getting prescriptions by the thousands every day from their doctors for treatments the F.
D.
A.
Has never signed off on.
And what about the F.
D.
A? David Graham, a drug reviewer with the agency just testified before Congress that the F.
D.
A.
Is, I quote "Virtually incapable of protecting America from unsafe drugs.
" The F.
D.
A.
Is broken, folks.
Raise your hand if you agree.
Except those of you on Vioxx.
- Objection.
- The F.
D.
A.
's own point man said to Congress that we are currently facing the single greatest drug safety catastrophe in the history of the world.
So who then is there to protect the patient? Who is there to protect Mr.
Harrison? His doctor.
My client had a medication that could save his patient's life.
He wasn't going to wait nine years for approval from a broken, ineffective agency.
This is life or death, for God's sake.
Life or death.
I'm at risk for Alzheimer's.
I've got some sort of plaque going on inside my brain.
My memory I might've met some of you before, I wouldn't know.
What you wouldn't know is what it feels like to be losing it to be feel to be slipping.
There's a prescription drug dextroamphetamine.
It's very big on the black market.
It's used by college kids to bone up for exams.
I've been taking it.
I don't know how it works, but you get your memory back.
It reintroduces you to your vocabulary helps with mental arithmetic facial recognition, overall productivity.
Basically you get your brain back.
And no F.
D.
A.
Or any other agency is gonna tell me I don't have the right to get back my brain.
No government or or court is gonna tell me order me to continue losing my mind.
I agree with the prosecutor.
This claim that desperate people will try desperate measures.
So what? - Members of the jury - Have you reached a verdict? - Yes, we have, Your Honor.
- We have, Your Honor.
- What say you? - In the matter of Rogers versus Green In the matter of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts versus Dr.
Robert McLean We, the jury, find in favor of the defendant.
- We find the defendant, Dr.
Robert McLean, not guilty.
Ladies and gentlemen of thejury, I want to thank you for your service.
At this time, you are dismissed.
Court adjourned.
So did she say anything after? She just shot me a look when she was leaving the courthouse.
- She'll get over it.
- Yeah, I bet she will.
Who knows? Maybe we'll even get back together one day.
Wouldn't be surprised.
So why did you wanna have dinner, Brad? To celebrate the victory or take one last shot at conversion? I wanted to have dinner to apologize.
I did a really terrible thing.
I hired a private investigator to follow you.
I wanted to satisfy myself that you were really gay.
And I'm quite satisfied now.
You went to see Stephanie around midnight last night.
Why would you do that? Well, I had it half right, didn't I? Thinking Stephanie sued you for the publicity.
You were both in on it.
"It" girls or "Split" girls however you make the news, you two are a really good team.
'Cause I knew I was being deceived.
I just wasn't sure how.
I didn't plan for you to fall for me.
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
I think that I should leave.
No, no.
You don't have to.
We won the case.
Come on, this is a celebration.
I'm, um I'm gonna leave.
Thank you, Brad.
Um, and again, I'm sorry if Well Thank you.
That drug you're taking is an amphetamine with a dangerously high potential for abuse and addiction.
And the shrinks are doling it out like candy.
It might make you feel more acute you'll no doubt work like a demon but certain pleasures will be gone.
Like? Perhaps fishing.
Perhaps sitting in a chair enjoying a football game.
Standing on a balcony.
Appreciating the quiet joy of a friendship.
There's more to life than recognizing faces, Denny.
You prefer me in my fog? I prefer you.
Your perspective, your humor.
The acceptance and humility which perhaps can only come with age.
I prefer you.
I've stopped taking the drug.
I kinda like my fog too.
There's a certain license that goes with it.
Plus, I've said this before and I'll say it again.
The answers in life, you don't find them here.
First, you look to God.
And then - Fox News.
- Damn right.
You Democrats.
You Republicans.
- Shirley know I won? - Told her myself.
- What'd she say? - She'd like to have your children.
Damn right.