Boston Legal s04e18 Episode Script
Indecent Proposals
Previously on Boston Legal.
Aren't women just the best? You've been through wives before, denny, five of them.
Bella? Beverly bridge.
Bethany.
Clovis.
She's the one.
She's the one.
After five or six wis, you still believe in the one? denny, you're glowing.
She's an amazing woman, alan.
Mad cow.
Mad cow.
Mad cow.
Like I'm remember it.
Mad cow.
Mad cow.
love is an ugly busine, my friend, ugly business.
Ugly business.
It's 10:00.
Are we not on? It's supposed to be tuesday at 10:00 every week.
We've been moved.
We're wednesday at 10:00.
Nobody called me.
They told howie in word processing.
They called howie in word processing? Are we wednesdays at 10:00 from now on? No, we're off next week, then on for the following two wednesdays.
What about next year? best to just keep checking in with howie.
Excuse me.
Are you denny crane? Denny crane.
What can I do for you? Let me rephrase.
What can we do for each other? I'm sunny fields of funny fields farms.
I'm in love.
You're cute.
That, too.
You eat meat, Mr.
Crane? My place or yours? I'm a cattle rancher.
The f.
d.
a.
Is about to sign off on cloned meat.
Once they do, the flood gates are gonna open.
I need a lawyer to stop that flood.
are you that lawyer, denny crane? There's never been a dam or a damsel I couldn't plug.
marry me.
Boston Legal 418 i'm confused.
Are you cloning the meat? no, no, sweetheart.
No, the biotech companies are cloning the meat.
i'm the one that's trying to stop it.
I believe that procreation should happen the old-fashioned way.
When can we get started? How far are we away from cloned animals actuallybeing a reality? Oh, hell, honey.
They're already here.
They have hundreds of pigs, and some of their piglets have already made it into the food supply, by the way, and now they're trying to use beef.
My question is, who put the mad cows in charge of the asylum? Hey, hey, be nice.
They have a moratorium on using cloned animals, which is about to be lifted.
That's why I would like to move fast.
Denny, you don't need me on this.
carl, carl.
Carl, uh, I need a heavy hitter.
I thought you were a heavy hitter.
I am, but I'd like to do my hitting on her.
I'm in love with her.
Look, carl, this is a great opportunity for you to be a consumer advocate here, which the country eds because nader is, uh, running for president again, and, uh, well, I'd ask alan, but he's busy.
Please.
I'm just gonna say this, uh, and let me preface it by admitting I know this is a crazy notion.
Okay.
I want to sue my nephew.
Okay, what's he done? it's not what he's done so much as what he's planning to do.
And what does he plan to do? Vote for obama.
I could be wrong, but I believe he has that right unless there's some fine print in the patriot act-- Alan, he is a delegate.
He plans to vote for obama at the convention even though his congressional district voted for clinton, as did massachusetts.
Well, can he do that? Well, yes.
That's the dirty little secret no one's talking about.
even the pledged delegates can ignore their constituencies.
Uh, it's unethical in my opinion, and if the rules allow for that, then the rules have to be challenged.
And by "challenged" you mean the little-used act of anarchy known as suing the nephew.
Alan, this nomination could very well come down to a handful of delegates.
Poached delegates, I might add.
every vote counts, including my nephew's.
sue.
I'm really quite shocked, aunt shirley.
I've been taken completely unaware.
how can you sue me? Mitchell-- Mitchy.
M- mitchy You don't think it's wrong that your entireistrict mitchy, voted for hillary-- it's funny how a plurality can morph into an entirety.
must be that clinton math.
I think your aunt's point, uh, mitchy, is that hillary won your district as well as the entire state of massachusetts.
You have a duty to represent your constituency at the convention, do you not? Well, I'm not duty bound, mr.
Shore.
Delegates are more like duty urged.
Mitchy, you're 22 years old with less voting experience than-- I'll say this for her, she is a bulldog.
Excuse me for a second.
Probably calling to say she found her voice again.
You have got to be able to stop him.
I don't see how.
as he says, he's within party rules.
I can't bear it.
Well, there's only two other options.
You could stuff him in a barrel and send him out to sea.
or? You could sue the democratic party.
you can't sue food or drugs.
how can anybody sue food or drugs? we're suing the food and drug administration, your honor-- the f.
d.
a.
What the hell is that? That would be the agency in charge of your meds, judge.
And, in fact, I would suspect somebody very much like yourself or denny is in charge of that department.
Objection.
Mr.
Sack, flattery has no place in this That would be a courtroom, your honor.
your honor, this should be in federal court.
they are suing a federal agency.
Jurisdiction-- oh, next he's gonna play the sovereign immunity card.
It's a dodge.
Stop with the jibber-jabber.
jibber-jabber has no place in my courtroom.
do you understand, mr.
Sack? Yes, your honor, jibber-jabber and flattery.
may I call a witness to lay out my case? silence.
I will decide how to proceed.
I am the decider.
Call a witness.
Thank you, your honor.
I call sunny fields.
How we doin' today, judge? Well, aren't you adorable up close? The motion is filed.
We're in at 2:00.
We're actually suing the d.
n.
c.
? Yes.
I also subpoenaed mitchy.
We'll need him as a witness.
You realize the media will pounce on this.
I've practiced law for 38 years, and never once have I done something stupid.
Well, now you're being hard on yourself.
I've seen you be stupid many times.
I sit here in my Tastefully decorated office and watch you go about tilting at windmills, many times beating the windmill.
well, it's my turn.
It's my turn to stand up and Make a complete idiot of myself and do Something that leaves this nation a slightly better place.
That, and a chance to paste your annoying nephew.
Yeah.
I can't pass that up.
It's settled then.
Wee off to sue the democrats.
I know the science, darling.
I also know that most of the scientists who did the testing were hired by the cloning companies.
The science on this is in the bag.
A lot of people have no problem eating cloned meat.
well, most people aren't even gonna know.
That's the worst part.
The f.
d.
a.
Doesn't even require that the cloned stuff be labeled.
I don't think i'd want to know.
Uh, have you any evidence that cloned meat is unsafe? No.
Well, it's too early to tell either way, but if it's not natural Would you eat it? All the f.
d.
a.
Studies have concluded that it's safe.
Honey, the f.
d.
a.
Said that vioxx was safe.
isn't the real issue here that you're a cattle rancher, and you don't want the competition? No, I'm more concerned about animal abuse, darling.
animal abuse? Yes.
The surrogate mothers are pumped up with high levels of hormones.
The clones are often born with compromised immune systems, which require massive doses of antibiotics, which, by the way, opens up the door for the veterinary pharmaceuticals to enter into the human food supply.
There is no evidence that cloned meat poses any health risk.
Darling, cloning increases risk of foodborne illness.
Even the national academy of sciences says so.
Once you take nature out of the process, which cloning does, it destroys the natural barriers against disease.
now that poses a health problem for cows and people Like you and me.
mr.
Shore, wolfgang blitzkreig with the best political news team in television.
I have no comment yet.
Ms.
Schmidt, with the best political news team in television.
could I get you to talk just for a second with the best political news team in television? Go away.
This has bee wolfgang blitzkreig with the best political news team in television.
you only got it here.
this is Outrageous.
We had a feeling you'd say that, judge.
but we actually do have a case.
No, you do not.
the democratic party is a private organization.
We make what rules we want.
Not when it violates one man, one vote.
what is it you're asking me to do? We'd like a court order, judge, that says that pledged delegates have to vote for the candidate they're pledged to, certainly on the first ballot.
You want me to tell the democrats how to run their own party? Somebody's got to.
give me one good reason why I shouldn't dismiss this right now.
okay.
Uh, you're a fair and open-minded jurist-- Give me another reason.
Okay.
As long as there are only two political parties, the public only has two choices for president.
One of them is being picked by delegates like mitchy weston, that toddler over there, whose vote is worth 13,000 times the vote of you and me.
you're talking about a process that's been in effect-- I know what process I'm talking about.
And it's about time it be exposed for the fraud that it is.
Fraud? Yes, fraud.
If the primaries really don't count, then they are just a sham.
They count, they're just not binding, snidey-butt.
I want it on the record that I've just been called "snidey-butt" by a person whose vote is worth and yours and your honor's.
That's enough.
We'll adjourn until 9:00 tomorrow morning.
I'll conduct a full evidentiary hearing.
Okay, shirley, you're up.
Ms.
Schmidt, wolfgang with the best political news team in television.
We really are the best, by the way.
can you tell me, has this case been politicized? oh, you were brilliant.
Honey, I'm always brilliant.
I don't just jump into bed with any woman, you know? Actually, I do.
But this time it's different.
I think we should be together.
You're sweet.
No, I mean it.
I'm falling in love with you.
Honey, I think you're cute a button.
But I tend to treat men like horses-- I ride 'em hard and then I turn 'em out.
I'm okay with that.
Truth is, my Tawdry affairs tend to last longer than my committed relationships.
But This is different.
I feel a A real connection.
Denny crane, i'm a cattle rancher.
You think a big city slicker like yourself would be happy living on a farm? I love horses.
I love cows.
I love sheep.
Especially sheep.
I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl.
If you're with me You gotta be on a farm.
I'm there.
You're out of your mind.
Oh, this woman, alan She's the one.
I know it.
In just one day? in ten minutes.
Oh, come on.
It was like a movie.
A glance here, a look there.
Has that ever happened to you? no.
She's a goddess, alan.
You really are Smitten.
So is she.
I could see it in her eyes.
did you know that I'm as cute as a button? Denny I say this with love and the spirit of friendship.
the idea of you on a ranch What? Well, you're a little-- A little what? Roly-poly.
In a good way.
I'm a rugged man.
yes, and cute as a button.
Ah, dear.
With the best political news team ever assembled In the history-- the rules may technically allow the pledged delegates to ignore the mandate of the popular vote, but that's certainly not what the democratic party advertises.
People go to the primary polls under the assumption-- An assumption cultivated by the d.
n.
c.
that whatever candidate wins that primary, he or she will get the delegates.
let's put our cards on the table, ms.
Schmidt.
You're for hillary.
I am.
And you want your nephew to vote for hillary.
I want the delegates, especially the pledged delegates, to give the primary some meaning.
it should probably also be said, we're in a time of war.
what do you mean? Well, the country needs stability.
It needs to count on its bedrocks, its established traditions.
For 20 years now, we've only had Just the t-- first a bush then a clinton, then, uh, clinton again, then another bush, then that bush again.
It's time for another clinton.
We simply cannot afford to experiment in such uncertain times.
What the hell was that about? What? You totally politicized this.
you practically stumped for obama.
I did no such thing.
I just happen to be a big fan of dynasties And monarchies.
Oh, I love monarchies.
This is not to be turned into your political forum, alan.
Look, shirley, as a friend, one who can hold you on the bad days and spoon you on the good ones? this is a good thing for you, what's going on here.
How so? well, you want hillary, right? consider hillary's behind in the count.
she can't possibly be the nominee unless she poaches some of obama's pledged delegates.
And if delegates are bound to the mandate of the voters, that may be good for democracy, but it would be very bad for hillary.
so you need to just chill out, relax.
if anybody's gonna hijack this thing, it's gonna be the clintons, so just chill.
If you even think of using this case to plug obama-- you're using it to promote hillary.
I am promoting the process.
a process that can only spit out clintons or bushes.
Who have experience.
Oharen't you sick of experience? the only reason your guy is senator is because the incumbent was caught in a sex scandal.
Oh, please.
She was a first lady.
She didn't-- oh, now you're gonna play the sex scandal card? She was not just a first lady.
doesn't the script call for you just to keep repeating She is a senator, a committed lawyer.
"reverend wright, reverend wright"? She spent years-- except when she's finding her own voice, which is crybaby.
Turns pretty phrases a dama.
And say "yes, we can" Shirley, I'm telling you, if she gets the nomination and-- and applaud for himself when he's introduced? I'd sooner vote for the dead guy from arizona.
Not to mention, he looks like a girl.
On top of that, she looks like a man Listen to us.
We've sunk to the level of-- Presidential candidates.
Don't try anything.
You can ride, denny crane.
yes, I can.
I'm an old farm boy.
I can see that.
Can we stop? I'd like to checout the scenery.
That, and my balls hurt.
Mm.
It's beautiful, isn't it? Oh, yeah.
If this cloning thing becomes a reality, i'm gonna be outta business.
Let me ask you a question.
You got, uh, what, a thousand head of cattle here? What's your control, really? I mean, how do you safeguard against, the mad cow or any other disease? It's not like you can vet every animal.
well, if I had a mad cow, I wouldn't need a vet to tell me.
my daddy said that the other cows take care of that.
They shun the afflicted animal.
well, even so, uh, can't you make beef more pure using high-tech methods, like cloning? No, if I believed that, I wouldn't be fighting this.
I really wouldn't.
I mean it.
What? I've never mentally undressed a woman in chaps before.
Come on over and meet the livestock, denny crane.
and I don't want you flirting with any of 'em.
hello, my darlings.
This is your lawyer.
He's a sweetie pie.
Well, that wasn't very good manners, was it? It's as if you had mad cow, denny crane.
don't be ridiculous.
You can't be diagnosed by a fellow cow.
I can.
They know.
Oh, come on.
And they told sunny.
To be shunned by your peers like that.
Will you listen to yourself? Come on, alan.
You've seen the studies where dogs can smell cancer.
The-- the animals, they-- they-- They-- they sense things.
the whole herd My condition was obvious to them.
Oh, my-- Am I that far gone? Okay, look, you've known you have issues.
It's no big deal.
It's a big deal because I love sunny.
And she's not gonna let me be around her livestock if she knows I've got the, uh, the, uh-- mad cow.
mad cow.
You're taking like a crazy person.
That's not gonna help.
Denny, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this sudden and profound love you have.
That's because it's never happened to you.
It's happened to me, I tell you.
You just met her.
Alan, we need to go.
Denny, we'll talk later, okay? what's wrong? His client's cows are on to him.
You realize, Mr.
Weston, that your congressional district and the state of massachusetts voted for hillary clinton? I do realize that, yes.
Your own constituency thinks that what you're doing is wrong.
Well, to quote the vice president when told the american people don't want to see more soldiers die, "so? he really said that.
I kid you not.
Mitchy, as a result of the massachusetts primary results, you became a pledged delegate to hillary clinton.
Yes, but according to the d.
n.
c.
Rules, i'm not bound by that.
No, I am not.
Who does that remind you of? I did not have sex-- Mitchy, w-- look, I am entitled to vote my conscience.
That's what i'm choosing to do.
Your conscience won't allow you to vote for mrs.
Clinton? look, I happen to think that she is a brilliant woman, and brave, too.
She took all that sniper fire for us, she and sinbad.
Why do you feel compelled to vote for obama? we need a new america.
Hillary clinton is old america.
I think the time has come for us to bridge the gaps on the senate floor.
yes, we can.
We're not just democrats and republicans.
We're americans.
Yes, we can.
it's time for all people to come together-- Black, white, yellow, red.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can.
Oh, all right.
You sound like the little engine that could.
How great that you have an opinion.
Do you think it's fair, though, for you to exalt your politics over the will of your district? I have a dream where people of all creeds and-- Yes, what if all the delegates had a dream that it should be kucinich in july? That would be okay, then, within the rules? Let me ask, how did you even get to be a delegate? I did a lot of volunteer work.
I was rewarded for my efforts and made a national committeeman.
And how old are you? I'm 22.
Mitchy, have you ever actually spoken to hillary clinton? Yes, she and barack both dropped by.
Dropped by your house? yes.
Isn't democracy swell? Objection.
Sustained.
Do you think it's possible that your conscience has been corrupted by-- no, I do not! You listen to me.
I am proud member of the democratic party.
I take my cues from the chairman of the democratic national committee.
And he says that I can vote my conscience.
I will follow his lead, not yours.
That of the chairman of the democratic national committee? Yes.
And that would be, uh, this guy? And we're going to south dakota and oregon and washington and michigan, and then we're going to washington d.
c.
To take back the white house! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! He is a beacon.
for the past six years, I've tracked theafety of cloned meat and milk.
and it's not only safe, but very likely more safe then products from naturally bred livestock.
it is also of much higher quality.
How so? Well, some cows are simply better than others.
we clone the top breeders, the prize winners, in fact, which gives us a consistently higher grade.
What's the problem with labeling it then? Honestly? That'd be nice.
The yuck factor.
People hate the idea of cloning.
If we were to label cloned food products, we'd never be given a fair chance by the american public.
so better to deny the people a choice, like you did with vioxx? Oh, god.
I'm sick of everybody throwing vioxx in our faces.
Well, yes.
It's just those vocal few opposed to heart attacks and strokes.
how about bextra? Oh, bextra got bias, I admit, but-- Zelnorm, baycol, palladone, tysabri, all those drugs were approved by the f.
d.
a.
Only to be withdrawn after they caused serious, sometimes fatal side effects.
Which particular failure would you prefer having thrown in your face? Special orders don't upset me.
he's good.
May I say something? Who are you? Left-wingliberals love to dump on the f.
d.
a.
It seems to be the new sport.
But the public knowsdamn well, we are a thoroughly competent organization that serves americans-- this would be a different public than the one polled by "the wall street journal," which found that 70% of american adults are skeptical of the f.
d.
a.
's ability to protect-- we're to trust polls now? Y- you prefer testimonials-- I would call your attention to a "60 minutes" interview with dr.
David graham, a senior scientist at the f.
d.
a.
Who blamed the f.
d.
a.
for allowing dangerous drugs to stay on the market.
This case is about cloning.
which has been deemed safe by a horrendously and famously inept governmental administration which shamelessly bends to the will of the pharmaceutical companies.
Move to strike.
If there is nothing to hide here, why not label? Move to strike.
Silence.
I can't keep up.
The democratic party is a private organization.
We can adopt whateverunny rules we want.
Nobody is required to be a member of any party.
mr.
Duprey, don't feed me that.
Sr.
Duprey, no me there are only two real parties in our country.
they've picked our presidents for a hundred years.
And it's worked well for a hundred years.
Really? Even lately? Oh, sit down, you.
These rules are designed to provide a checks and balances, if you will.
What if the public, in some protest of sorts, voted for a comedian? you remember that pat paulsen ran in 1968.
What if roseanne barr or george carlin or carrot top captured the popular vote? Could be an improvement, certainly over-- down! The delegates and superdelegates, as a matter of conscience, have to be allowed to say, oh, so you admit it's not really a democracy then? Classically speaking, no.
I mean, suppose we were in the same situation as the republicans, for example, and suppose john mccain, before the convention, succumbed to old age or senility.
You mean he hasn't? Should we stick in mike huckabee because he would be the leader in delegates? can you imagine? The rules that we have in place are to effect a choice from the people to be affirmed or not by the delegates and superdelegates, and it is not automatic.
Well, then what's the point of the primaries really? is it just a guide? If-- if the delegates are free to ignore the popular vote, then does that not violate one man, one vote? well, it's never truly been one man, one vote in this country.
Let's face it.
Look, I grew up in california, my wife in wyoming.
now in my home state, there are about 15 million registered voters.
In my wife's, maybe 250,000.
Both states have two senators, which means my wife had about 60 times more voting power than I did in any senatorial election.
Is that fair? I think so.
Perfect? Of course not.
Democracy isn't, nor is the democratic nomination process.
nobody here is denying that.
But let's remember, if it wasn't for delegate independence-- It's possibility of backroom deal making-- The nominee for president in 1932 for the democratic party would've been newton baker.
Instead, we got franklin delano roosevelt.
my mother's, uh, friend vian, uh, once told me, "there are only two kinds of people in this world, alan, them that drink coke and them that drink pepsi.
" Vian got that notion, of course, from coke and pepsi.
there may have been other colas, but coke and pepsi were the giants-- Billion-dollar behemoths, who, in their own advertising, would each refer to the other guy as the only alternative-- Just so long as people keep on gulping down one or the other.
makes you kind of wonder if they're in cahoots.
Mr.
Shore, a-as much as I enjoy listening to you go on and on and on, could you get to your case? When it comes to presidential elections, we again have only two billion-dollar giants in control.
the american people might get to vote for commander in chief, but they only get two choices, your honor, choices selected by two very private organizations, who are both are in bed with big oil, big tobacco, big pharmaceuticals, big banking-- every big you can think of-- And as a result, we only get the candidates that big business and the two parts decide to favor us with.
So where's the democracy? the sad fact is, it seems that democracy has lost its way, and as long as we remain a two-party system, we'll forever be denied a taste of that delicious r.
c.
Cola because coke and pepsi have cornered the market.
No more soda pop.
Yes, let's let the democratic national committee make whatever rules it fancies, never mind that delegates like mitchy can ignore election results.
Who cares that states like florida and michigan are discounted? Big deal that in iowa, the democrats don't get to cast secret ballots, or that in nevada, the caucuses were on a saturday, which meant observant jews couldn't vote.
Hey, it's kind of fun-- This year, the democratic nominee might be decided by super-duper delegates-- political insiders who don't have to listen to the voters at all, insiders who, according to d.
n.
c.
Rules, are allowed to and do accept money from the candidates, insiders who, in fact,have accepted over a million dollars from the clinton and obama campaigns.
Do we have to sit here and listen to this wonkish analysis-- there are dire consequences here, Mr.
Duprey.
presidents get to start wars, and kids, the innocent kind, die in them-- lots of kids.
There are consequences, and as long as presidents get to start wars and pick supreme court justices, as long as they represent the american people to the world-- a world which increasingly loathes us because of our presidents-- We the people should get to weigh in.
look at the choices this grand two-party system has produced this year-- a grumpy old man who wants to stay at war for a hundred years versus whomever the democrats pick, a choice which may very well come down to mitchy.
Snidey-butt.
I'm going to sit my snidey-butt down now after one final thought.
Maybe it's time for us to take a little break from iraq and start spreading a little more democracy at home.
So what happens now? Well, we Have a drink, maybe a little sex.
although, it's only been a day, and I'm still in refractory mode.
No, I mean about the case.
Oh, uh, well, uh Sack will give his summation tomorrow.
it'll be boring, full of legal stuff I never listen to.
the judge will rule, and then we'll, uh marry.
You're even a good kisser.
Sunny You've been regarding my flirtations as, uh Foreplay.
It's more than that.
When a man loves a woman, when god didn't pick little green apples whatever.
Oh, denny.
Sunny Well, you get the idea.
Sunny Sunny fields, will you marry me? Oh, denny.
We haven't even been out on a real date.
oh, we got plenty of time for that.
Denny I love you.
I'd go to the ends of the earth for you.
Well, you sure make it hard to say no to, I can tell you that.
Can I think about it overnight? you can.
And I'll see you tomorrow? I promise.
Good night Denny crane.
I agree with Mr.
Shore.
Whatever one wants to call this nomination process, it's anything but democratic.
Two political parties pulling the strings it's like going to a fast-food restaurant and being told you can eat whatever you want.
the menu is fixed.
That having been said, being a private organization, the d.
n.
c.
Is free to set its own rules.
the only real recourse the people have, I suppose, is to vote republican.
And everyone wonders how we ended up with the likes of george bush? Motion denied.
Everybody loses.
Oh, well.
The one time I get out of my tastefully decorated office to tilt at windmills, and I lose.
I'm sorry.
First of all, I reject the idea that cloning meat is abusive to cows.
why? It's meat.
The animal's already dead.
No, your honor, it's the cow being cloned to make the meat.
Did I skip over that? Dead meat is dead meat.
But Judgment in favor of the plaintiff.
Oh, there you go.
What? Judge, we had the same concerns over artificial insemination and all the perceived horrors, and nothing bad happened.
judgment for the defendant.
What? No.
No, no, no.
Technology has not improved the food supply.
Plaintiff's motion granted.
Wait.
You said the defendant's.
Sustained.
This guy's worse than me.
I am the decider.
Adjourned.
Who won? I have no idea.
So you have no idea if you won or lost? No.
I still got the girl, though.
When do I get to meet her? Well, she's due any second.
Alan I popped the question.
You did what? I love her.
You asked her to marry you? Life is short.
No, denny, life can be very long, especially when you're bound by law to the wrong woman.
You can't-- She's the right woman.
You just met her.
I have a feeling.
Yes, the same one you ha about bev and five other right women who turned out to be total disasters.
Knock-knock.
can't.
Still in refractory.
You must be sunny? Oh, my sunny.
This is alan shore.
He was just leaving.
Howdy, alan.
Howdy.
Well, we'll-- we'll talk later.
I really think we should talk-- No, no, no, later.
Have we figured out whether we won our case yet? Not yet.
So Did I win the girl? Denny, were you serious when you said you'd go to the ends of the earth for me? I was.
How about montana? What? I'm moving to montana in a month.
I would've told you sooner, but things were going so fast between us.
Montana? I bought a farm there-- I'm gonna move my ranch there and really make a go of it.
Montana? So the question becomes Are you really that much of a cowboy, denny crane? What? Well, uh My-- my life is here.
Well, one day you will have to go to pasture.
Maybe now's the time.
Ride into the sunset with me, denny crane.
See, if-- it's-- It's, um It's not the job.
It's someone else.
Oh.
Someone else? Uh, my best friend.
You-- That was him you just met.
Are you serious? See, um We meet every night for, uh, cigars and a scotch.
It's a standing W- why don't you stay here? I just bought a business.
I have to go.
If you'd rather stay and drink scotch and smoke cigars, well, maybe that tells us something.
Th-this has no bearing on my love for you.
It's just Your love for him.
I can't go to montana.
Just like that, it's over? She turned me down.
What can I do? i'm sorry, denny.
No, you're not.
You're relieved.
Well, that, too, but If you truly loved her, then I am sorry.
Denny denny.
There's no need to be sorry, alan.
Love, even when it's fleeting, even if it's for a day or two, it's a It's everything.
Don't you agree? I do.
I actually think it's why I'm still single.
every morning, I get to wake up and wonder, will this be the day? Every night, I put my head on my pillow and I wonder, will I meet her tomorrow? I imagine what she'll look like-- Her smile, the way she does her hair, how she laughs The contour of her breasts, neck.
the promise of love can Be everything.
It's a magic you rarely find in marriage, so maybe you lucked out.
You don't believe married people can stay in love? I believe they can know even more profound joys, be it with children or The depth of the relationship itself.
it can evolve into something they can't possibly live without.
And yet It's something that doesn't quite So resemble love, at least not the romance of love.
I never knew you to be such a romantic.
My problem is I'm too romantic.
No woman can possibly measure up the problem to the promise of tomorrow that love holds for me.
What about me? Well, it's not the same.
You know one thing I do love about you? Tell me.
While many people embrace the promise of tomorrow, too few celebrate the Joy of now.
And nobody Does that like denny crane.
Well, let me tell you something, when you've got polar ice caps melting and breaking off into big chunks, and you got osama still hiding in a cave planning his next attack, and when you got other rogue nations with nuclear arsenals, not to mention some whack job, homegrown, who can cancel you at any second, and when you got Mad cow Now gets high priority.
And when you're sitting on the balcony on a clear night Sipping scotch with your best friend now Is everything.
Here's to now.
Here's to now.
Aren't women just the best? You've been through wives before, denny, five of them.
Bella? Beverly bridge.
Bethany.
Clovis.
She's the one.
She's the one.
After five or six wis, you still believe in the one? denny, you're glowing.
She's an amazing woman, alan.
Mad cow.
Mad cow.
Mad cow.
Like I'm remember it.
Mad cow.
Mad cow.
love is an ugly busine, my friend, ugly business.
Ugly business.
It's 10:00.
Are we not on? It's supposed to be tuesday at 10:00 every week.
We've been moved.
We're wednesday at 10:00.
Nobody called me.
They told howie in word processing.
They called howie in word processing? Are we wednesdays at 10:00 from now on? No, we're off next week, then on for the following two wednesdays.
What about next year? best to just keep checking in with howie.
Excuse me.
Are you denny crane? Denny crane.
What can I do for you? Let me rephrase.
What can we do for each other? I'm sunny fields of funny fields farms.
I'm in love.
You're cute.
That, too.
You eat meat, Mr.
Crane? My place or yours? I'm a cattle rancher.
The f.
d.
a.
Is about to sign off on cloned meat.
Once they do, the flood gates are gonna open.
I need a lawyer to stop that flood.
are you that lawyer, denny crane? There's never been a dam or a damsel I couldn't plug.
marry me.
Boston Legal 418 i'm confused.
Are you cloning the meat? no, no, sweetheart.
No, the biotech companies are cloning the meat.
i'm the one that's trying to stop it.
I believe that procreation should happen the old-fashioned way.
When can we get started? How far are we away from cloned animals actuallybeing a reality? Oh, hell, honey.
They're already here.
They have hundreds of pigs, and some of their piglets have already made it into the food supply, by the way, and now they're trying to use beef.
My question is, who put the mad cows in charge of the asylum? Hey, hey, be nice.
They have a moratorium on using cloned animals, which is about to be lifted.
That's why I would like to move fast.
Denny, you don't need me on this.
carl, carl.
Carl, uh, I need a heavy hitter.
I thought you were a heavy hitter.
I am, but I'd like to do my hitting on her.
I'm in love with her.
Look, carl, this is a great opportunity for you to be a consumer advocate here, which the country eds because nader is, uh, running for president again, and, uh, well, I'd ask alan, but he's busy.
Please.
I'm just gonna say this, uh, and let me preface it by admitting I know this is a crazy notion.
Okay.
I want to sue my nephew.
Okay, what's he done? it's not what he's done so much as what he's planning to do.
And what does he plan to do? Vote for obama.
I could be wrong, but I believe he has that right unless there's some fine print in the patriot act-- Alan, he is a delegate.
He plans to vote for obama at the convention even though his congressional district voted for clinton, as did massachusetts.
Well, can he do that? Well, yes.
That's the dirty little secret no one's talking about.
even the pledged delegates can ignore their constituencies.
Uh, it's unethical in my opinion, and if the rules allow for that, then the rules have to be challenged.
And by "challenged" you mean the little-used act of anarchy known as suing the nephew.
Alan, this nomination could very well come down to a handful of delegates.
Poached delegates, I might add.
every vote counts, including my nephew's.
sue.
I'm really quite shocked, aunt shirley.
I've been taken completely unaware.
how can you sue me? Mitchell-- Mitchy.
M- mitchy You don't think it's wrong that your entireistrict mitchy, voted for hillary-- it's funny how a plurality can morph into an entirety.
must be that clinton math.
I think your aunt's point, uh, mitchy, is that hillary won your district as well as the entire state of massachusetts.
You have a duty to represent your constituency at the convention, do you not? Well, I'm not duty bound, mr.
Shore.
Delegates are more like duty urged.
Mitchy, you're 22 years old with less voting experience than-- I'll say this for her, she is a bulldog.
Excuse me for a second.
Probably calling to say she found her voice again.
You have got to be able to stop him.
I don't see how.
as he says, he's within party rules.
I can't bear it.
Well, there's only two other options.
You could stuff him in a barrel and send him out to sea.
or? You could sue the democratic party.
you can't sue food or drugs.
how can anybody sue food or drugs? we're suing the food and drug administration, your honor-- the f.
d.
a.
What the hell is that? That would be the agency in charge of your meds, judge.
And, in fact, I would suspect somebody very much like yourself or denny is in charge of that department.
Objection.
Mr.
Sack, flattery has no place in this That would be a courtroom, your honor.
your honor, this should be in federal court.
they are suing a federal agency.
Jurisdiction-- oh, next he's gonna play the sovereign immunity card.
It's a dodge.
Stop with the jibber-jabber.
jibber-jabber has no place in my courtroom.
do you understand, mr.
Sack? Yes, your honor, jibber-jabber and flattery.
may I call a witness to lay out my case? silence.
I will decide how to proceed.
I am the decider.
Call a witness.
Thank you, your honor.
I call sunny fields.
How we doin' today, judge? Well, aren't you adorable up close? The motion is filed.
We're in at 2:00.
We're actually suing the d.
n.
c.
? Yes.
I also subpoenaed mitchy.
We'll need him as a witness.
You realize the media will pounce on this.
I've practiced law for 38 years, and never once have I done something stupid.
Well, now you're being hard on yourself.
I've seen you be stupid many times.
I sit here in my Tastefully decorated office and watch you go about tilting at windmills, many times beating the windmill.
well, it's my turn.
It's my turn to stand up and Make a complete idiot of myself and do Something that leaves this nation a slightly better place.
That, and a chance to paste your annoying nephew.
Yeah.
I can't pass that up.
It's settled then.
Wee off to sue the democrats.
I know the science, darling.
I also know that most of the scientists who did the testing were hired by the cloning companies.
The science on this is in the bag.
A lot of people have no problem eating cloned meat.
well, most people aren't even gonna know.
That's the worst part.
The f.
d.
a.
Doesn't even require that the cloned stuff be labeled.
I don't think i'd want to know.
Uh, have you any evidence that cloned meat is unsafe? No.
Well, it's too early to tell either way, but if it's not natural Would you eat it? All the f.
d.
a.
Studies have concluded that it's safe.
Honey, the f.
d.
a.
Said that vioxx was safe.
isn't the real issue here that you're a cattle rancher, and you don't want the competition? No, I'm more concerned about animal abuse, darling.
animal abuse? Yes.
The surrogate mothers are pumped up with high levels of hormones.
The clones are often born with compromised immune systems, which require massive doses of antibiotics, which, by the way, opens up the door for the veterinary pharmaceuticals to enter into the human food supply.
There is no evidence that cloned meat poses any health risk.
Darling, cloning increases risk of foodborne illness.
Even the national academy of sciences says so.
Once you take nature out of the process, which cloning does, it destroys the natural barriers against disease.
now that poses a health problem for cows and people Like you and me.
mr.
Shore, wolfgang blitzkreig with the best political news team in television.
I have no comment yet.
Ms.
Schmidt, with the best political news team in television.
could I get you to talk just for a second with the best political news team in television? Go away.
This has bee wolfgang blitzkreig with the best political news team in television.
you only got it here.
this is Outrageous.
We had a feeling you'd say that, judge.
but we actually do have a case.
No, you do not.
the democratic party is a private organization.
We make what rules we want.
Not when it violates one man, one vote.
what is it you're asking me to do? We'd like a court order, judge, that says that pledged delegates have to vote for the candidate they're pledged to, certainly on the first ballot.
You want me to tell the democrats how to run their own party? Somebody's got to.
give me one good reason why I shouldn't dismiss this right now.
okay.
Uh, you're a fair and open-minded jurist-- Give me another reason.
Okay.
As long as there are only two political parties, the public only has two choices for president.
One of them is being picked by delegates like mitchy weston, that toddler over there, whose vote is worth 13,000 times the vote of you and me.
you're talking about a process that's been in effect-- I know what process I'm talking about.
And it's about time it be exposed for the fraud that it is.
Fraud? Yes, fraud.
If the primaries really don't count, then they are just a sham.
They count, they're just not binding, snidey-butt.
I want it on the record that I've just been called "snidey-butt" by a person whose vote is worth and yours and your honor's.
That's enough.
We'll adjourn until 9:00 tomorrow morning.
I'll conduct a full evidentiary hearing.
Okay, shirley, you're up.
Ms.
Schmidt, wolfgang with the best political news team in television.
We really are the best, by the way.
can you tell me, has this case been politicized? oh, you were brilliant.
Honey, I'm always brilliant.
I don't just jump into bed with any woman, you know? Actually, I do.
But this time it's different.
I think we should be together.
You're sweet.
No, I mean it.
I'm falling in love with you.
Honey, I think you're cute a button.
But I tend to treat men like horses-- I ride 'em hard and then I turn 'em out.
I'm okay with that.
Truth is, my Tawdry affairs tend to last longer than my committed relationships.
But This is different.
I feel a A real connection.
Denny crane, i'm a cattle rancher.
You think a big city slicker like yourself would be happy living on a farm? I love horses.
I love cows.
I love sheep.
Especially sheep.
I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl.
If you're with me You gotta be on a farm.
I'm there.
You're out of your mind.
Oh, this woman, alan She's the one.
I know it.
In just one day? in ten minutes.
Oh, come on.
It was like a movie.
A glance here, a look there.
Has that ever happened to you? no.
She's a goddess, alan.
You really are Smitten.
So is she.
I could see it in her eyes.
did you know that I'm as cute as a button? Denny I say this with love and the spirit of friendship.
the idea of you on a ranch What? Well, you're a little-- A little what? Roly-poly.
In a good way.
I'm a rugged man.
yes, and cute as a button.
Ah, dear.
With the best political news team ever assembled In the history-- the rules may technically allow the pledged delegates to ignore the mandate of the popular vote, but that's certainly not what the democratic party advertises.
People go to the primary polls under the assumption-- An assumption cultivated by the d.
n.
c.
that whatever candidate wins that primary, he or she will get the delegates.
let's put our cards on the table, ms.
Schmidt.
You're for hillary.
I am.
And you want your nephew to vote for hillary.
I want the delegates, especially the pledged delegates, to give the primary some meaning.
it should probably also be said, we're in a time of war.
what do you mean? Well, the country needs stability.
It needs to count on its bedrocks, its established traditions.
For 20 years now, we've only had Just the t-- first a bush then a clinton, then, uh, clinton again, then another bush, then that bush again.
It's time for another clinton.
We simply cannot afford to experiment in such uncertain times.
What the hell was that about? What? You totally politicized this.
you practically stumped for obama.
I did no such thing.
I just happen to be a big fan of dynasties And monarchies.
Oh, I love monarchies.
This is not to be turned into your political forum, alan.
Look, shirley, as a friend, one who can hold you on the bad days and spoon you on the good ones? this is a good thing for you, what's going on here.
How so? well, you want hillary, right? consider hillary's behind in the count.
she can't possibly be the nominee unless she poaches some of obama's pledged delegates.
And if delegates are bound to the mandate of the voters, that may be good for democracy, but it would be very bad for hillary.
so you need to just chill out, relax.
if anybody's gonna hijack this thing, it's gonna be the clintons, so just chill.
If you even think of using this case to plug obama-- you're using it to promote hillary.
I am promoting the process.
a process that can only spit out clintons or bushes.
Who have experience.
Oharen't you sick of experience? the only reason your guy is senator is because the incumbent was caught in a sex scandal.
Oh, please.
She was a first lady.
She didn't-- oh, now you're gonna play the sex scandal card? She was not just a first lady.
doesn't the script call for you just to keep repeating She is a senator, a committed lawyer.
"reverend wright, reverend wright"? She spent years-- except when she's finding her own voice, which is crybaby.
Turns pretty phrases a dama.
And say "yes, we can" Shirley, I'm telling you, if she gets the nomination and-- and applaud for himself when he's introduced? I'd sooner vote for the dead guy from arizona.
Not to mention, he looks like a girl.
On top of that, she looks like a man Listen to us.
We've sunk to the level of-- Presidential candidates.
Don't try anything.
You can ride, denny crane.
yes, I can.
I'm an old farm boy.
I can see that.
Can we stop? I'd like to checout the scenery.
That, and my balls hurt.
Mm.
It's beautiful, isn't it? Oh, yeah.
If this cloning thing becomes a reality, i'm gonna be outta business.
Let me ask you a question.
You got, uh, what, a thousand head of cattle here? What's your control, really? I mean, how do you safeguard against, the mad cow or any other disease? It's not like you can vet every animal.
well, if I had a mad cow, I wouldn't need a vet to tell me.
my daddy said that the other cows take care of that.
They shun the afflicted animal.
well, even so, uh, can't you make beef more pure using high-tech methods, like cloning? No, if I believed that, I wouldn't be fighting this.
I really wouldn't.
I mean it.
What? I've never mentally undressed a woman in chaps before.
Come on over and meet the livestock, denny crane.
and I don't want you flirting with any of 'em.
hello, my darlings.
This is your lawyer.
He's a sweetie pie.
Well, that wasn't very good manners, was it? It's as if you had mad cow, denny crane.
don't be ridiculous.
You can't be diagnosed by a fellow cow.
I can.
They know.
Oh, come on.
And they told sunny.
To be shunned by your peers like that.
Will you listen to yourself? Come on, alan.
You've seen the studies where dogs can smell cancer.
The-- the animals, they-- they-- They-- they sense things.
the whole herd My condition was obvious to them.
Oh, my-- Am I that far gone? Okay, look, you've known you have issues.
It's no big deal.
It's a big deal because I love sunny.
And she's not gonna let me be around her livestock if she knows I've got the, uh, the, uh-- mad cow.
mad cow.
You're taking like a crazy person.
That's not gonna help.
Denny, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this sudden and profound love you have.
That's because it's never happened to you.
It's happened to me, I tell you.
You just met her.
Alan, we need to go.
Denny, we'll talk later, okay? what's wrong? His client's cows are on to him.
You realize, Mr.
Weston, that your congressional district and the state of massachusetts voted for hillary clinton? I do realize that, yes.
Your own constituency thinks that what you're doing is wrong.
Well, to quote the vice president when told the american people don't want to see more soldiers die, "so? he really said that.
I kid you not.
Mitchy, as a result of the massachusetts primary results, you became a pledged delegate to hillary clinton.
Yes, but according to the d.
n.
c.
Rules, i'm not bound by that.
No, I am not.
Who does that remind you of? I did not have sex-- Mitchy, w-- look, I am entitled to vote my conscience.
That's what i'm choosing to do.
Your conscience won't allow you to vote for mrs.
Clinton? look, I happen to think that she is a brilliant woman, and brave, too.
She took all that sniper fire for us, she and sinbad.
Why do you feel compelled to vote for obama? we need a new america.
Hillary clinton is old america.
I think the time has come for us to bridge the gaps on the senate floor.
yes, we can.
We're not just democrats and republicans.
We're americans.
Yes, we can.
it's time for all people to come together-- Black, white, yellow, red.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can.
Oh, all right.
You sound like the little engine that could.
How great that you have an opinion.
Do you think it's fair, though, for you to exalt your politics over the will of your district? I have a dream where people of all creeds and-- Yes, what if all the delegates had a dream that it should be kucinich in july? That would be okay, then, within the rules? Let me ask, how did you even get to be a delegate? I did a lot of volunteer work.
I was rewarded for my efforts and made a national committeeman.
And how old are you? I'm 22.
Mitchy, have you ever actually spoken to hillary clinton? Yes, she and barack both dropped by.
Dropped by your house? yes.
Isn't democracy swell? Objection.
Sustained.
Do you think it's possible that your conscience has been corrupted by-- no, I do not! You listen to me.
I am proud member of the democratic party.
I take my cues from the chairman of the democratic national committee.
And he says that I can vote my conscience.
I will follow his lead, not yours.
That of the chairman of the democratic national committee? Yes.
And that would be, uh, this guy? And we're going to south dakota and oregon and washington and michigan, and then we're going to washington d.
c.
To take back the white house! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! He is a beacon.
for the past six years, I've tracked theafety of cloned meat and milk.
and it's not only safe, but very likely more safe then products from naturally bred livestock.
it is also of much higher quality.
How so? Well, some cows are simply better than others.
we clone the top breeders, the prize winners, in fact, which gives us a consistently higher grade.
What's the problem with labeling it then? Honestly? That'd be nice.
The yuck factor.
People hate the idea of cloning.
If we were to label cloned food products, we'd never be given a fair chance by the american public.
so better to deny the people a choice, like you did with vioxx? Oh, god.
I'm sick of everybody throwing vioxx in our faces.
Well, yes.
It's just those vocal few opposed to heart attacks and strokes.
how about bextra? Oh, bextra got bias, I admit, but-- Zelnorm, baycol, palladone, tysabri, all those drugs were approved by the f.
d.
a.
Only to be withdrawn after they caused serious, sometimes fatal side effects.
Which particular failure would you prefer having thrown in your face? Special orders don't upset me.
he's good.
May I say something? Who are you? Left-wingliberals love to dump on the f.
d.
a.
It seems to be the new sport.
But the public knowsdamn well, we are a thoroughly competent organization that serves americans-- this would be a different public than the one polled by "the wall street journal," which found that 70% of american adults are skeptical of the f.
d.
a.
's ability to protect-- we're to trust polls now? Y- you prefer testimonials-- I would call your attention to a "60 minutes" interview with dr.
David graham, a senior scientist at the f.
d.
a.
Who blamed the f.
d.
a.
for allowing dangerous drugs to stay on the market.
This case is about cloning.
which has been deemed safe by a horrendously and famously inept governmental administration which shamelessly bends to the will of the pharmaceutical companies.
Move to strike.
If there is nothing to hide here, why not label? Move to strike.
Silence.
I can't keep up.
The democratic party is a private organization.
We can adopt whateverunny rules we want.
Nobody is required to be a member of any party.
mr.
Duprey, don't feed me that.
Sr.
Duprey, no me there are only two real parties in our country.
they've picked our presidents for a hundred years.
And it's worked well for a hundred years.
Really? Even lately? Oh, sit down, you.
These rules are designed to provide a checks and balances, if you will.
What if the public, in some protest of sorts, voted for a comedian? you remember that pat paulsen ran in 1968.
What if roseanne barr or george carlin or carrot top captured the popular vote? Could be an improvement, certainly over-- down! The delegates and superdelegates, as a matter of conscience, have to be allowed to say, oh, so you admit it's not really a democracy then? Classically speaking, no.
I mean, suppose we were in the same situation as the republicans, for example, and suppose john mccain, before the convention, succumbed to old age or senility.
You mean he hasn't? Should we stick in mike huckabee because he would be the leader in delegates? can you imagine? The rules that we have in place are to effect a choice from the people to be affirmed or not by the delegates and superdelegates, and it is not automatic.
Well, then what's the point of the primaries really? is it just a guide? If-- if the delegates are free to ignore the popular vote, then does that not violate one man, one vote? well, it's never truly been one man, one vote in this country.
Let's face it.
Look, I grew up in california, my wife in wyoming.
now in my home state, there are about 15 million registered voters.
In my wife's, maybe 250,000.
Both states have two senators, which means my wife had about 60 times more voting power than I did in any senatorial election.
Is that fair? I think so.
Perfect? Of course not.
Democracy isn't, nor is the democratic nomination process.
nobody here is denying that.
But let's remember, if it wasn't for delegate independence-- It's possibility of backroom deal making-- The nominee for president in 1932 for the democratic party would've been newton baker.
Instead, we got franklin delano roosevelt.
my mother's, uh, friend vian, uh, once told me, "there are only two kinds of people in this world, alan, them that drink coke and them that drink pepsi.
" Vian got that notion, of course, from coke and pepsi.
there may have been other colas, but coke and pepsi were the giants-- Billion-dollar behemoths, who, in their own advertising, would each refer to the other guy as the only alternative-- Just so long as people keep on gulping down one or the other.
makes you kind of wonder if they're in cahoots.
Mr.
Shore, a-as much as I enjoy listening to you go on and on and on, could you get to your case? When it comes to presidential elections, we again have only two billion-dollar giants in control.
the american people might get to vote for commander in chief, but they only get two choices, your honor, choices selected by two very private organizations, who are both are in bed with big oil, big tobacco, big pharmaceuticals, big banking-- every big you can think of-- And as a result, we only get the candidates that big business and the two parts decide to favor us with.
So where's the democracy? the sad fact is, it seems that democracy has lost its way, and as long as we remain a two-party system, we'll forever be denied a taste of that delicious r.
c.
Cola because coke and pepsi have cornered the market.
No more soda pop.
Yes, let's let the democratic national committee make whatever rules it fancies, never mind that delegates like mitchy can ignore election results.
Who cares that states like florida and michigan are discounted? Big deal that in iowa, the democrats don't get to cast secret ballots, or that in nevada, the caucuses were on a saturday, which meant observant jews couldn't vote.
Hey, it's kind of fun-- This year, the democratic nominee might be decided by super-duper delegates-- political insiders who don't have to listen to the voters at all, insiders who, according to d.
n.
c.
Rules, are allowed to and do accept money from the candidates, insiders who, in fact,have accepted over a million dollars from the clinton and obama campaigns.
Do we have to sit here and listen to this wonkish analysis-- there are dire consequences here, Mr.
Duprey.
presidents get to start wars, and kids, the innocent kind, die in them-- lots of kids.
There are consequences, and as long as presidents get to start wars and pick supreme court justices, as long as they represent the american people to the world-- a world which increasingly loathes us because of our presidents-- We the people should get to weigh in.
look at the choices this grand two-party system has produced this year-- a grumpy old man who wants to stay at war for a hundred years versus whomever the democrats pick, a choice which may very well come down to mitchy.
Snidey-butt.
I'm going to sit my snidey-butt down now after one final thought.
Maybe it's time for us to take a little break from iraq and start spreading a little more democracy at home.
So what happens now? Well, we Have a drink, maybe a little sex.
although, it's only been a day, and I'm still in refractory mode.
No, I mean about the case.
Oh, uh, well, uh Sack will give his summation tomorrow.
it'll be boring, full of legal stuff I never listen to.
the judge will rule, and then we'll, uh marry.
You're even a good kisser.
Sunny You've been regarding my flirtations as, uh Foreplay.
It's more than that.
When a man loves a woman, when god didn't pick little green apples whatever.
Oh, denny.
Sunny Well, you get the idea.
Sunny Sunny fields, will you marry me? Oh, denny.
We haven't even been out on a real date.
oh, we got plenty of time for that.
Denny I love you.
I'd go to the ends of the earth for you.
Well, you sure make it hard to say no to, I can tell you that.
Can I think about it overnight? you can.
And I'll see you tomorrow? I promise.
Good night Denny crane.
I agree with Mr.
Shore.
Whatever one wants to call this nomination process, it's anything but democratic.
Two political parties pulling the strings it's like going to a fast-food restaurant and being told you can eat whatever you want.
the menu is fixed.
That having been said, being a private organization, the d.
n.
c.
Is free to set its own rules.
the only real recourse the people have, I suppose, is to vote republican.
And everyone wonders how we ended up with the likes of george bush? Motion denied.
Everybody loses.
Oh, well.
The one time I get out of my tastefully decorated office to tilt at windmills, and I lose.
I'm sorry.
First of all, I reject the idea that cloning meat is abusive to cows.
why? It's meat.
The animal's already dead.
No, your honor, it's the cow being cloned to make the meat.
Did I skip over that? Dead meat is dead meat.
But Judgment in favor of the plaintiff.
Oh, there you go.
What? Judge, we had the same concerns over artificial insemination and all the perceived horrors, and nothing bad happened.
judgment for the defendant.
What? No.
No, no, no.
Technology has not improved the food supply.
Plaintiff's motion granted.
Wait.
You said the defendant's.
Sustained.
This guy's worse than me.
I am the decider.
Adjourned.
Who won? I have no idea.
So you have no idea if you won or lost? No.
I still got the girl, though.
When do I get to meet her? Well, she's due any second.
Alan I popped the question.
You did what? I love her.
You asked her to marry you? Life is short.
No, denny, life can be very long, especially when you're bound by law to the wrong woman.
You can't-- She's the right woman.
You just met her.
I have a feeling.
Yes, the same one you ha about bev and five other right women who turned out to be total disasters.
Knock-knock.
can't.
Still in refractory.
You must be sunny? Oh, my sunny.
This is alan shore.
He was just leaving.
Howdy, alan.
Howdy.
Well, we'll-- we'll talk later.
I really think we should talk-- No, no, no, later.
Have we figured out whether we won our case yet? Not yet.
So Did I win the girl? Denny, were you serious when you said you'd go to the ends of the earth for me? I was.
How about montana? What? I'm moving to montana in a month.
I would've told you sooner, but things were going so fast between us.
Montana? I bought a farm there-- I'm gonna move my ranch there and really make a go of it.
Montana? So the question becomes Are you really that much of a cowboy, denny crane? What? Well, uh My-- my life is here.
Well, one day you will have to go to pasture.
Maybe now's the time.
Ride into the sunset with me, denny crane.
See, if-- it's-- It's, um It's not the job.
It's someone else.
Oh.
Someone else? Uh, my best friend.
You-- That was him you just met.
Are you serious? See, um We meet every night for, uh, cigars and a scotch.
It's a standing W- why don't you stay here? I just bought a business.
I have to go.
If you'd rather stay and drink scotch and smoke cigars, well, maybe that tells us something.
Th-this has no bearing on my love for you.
It's just Your love for him.
I can't go to montana.
Just like that, it's over? She turned me down.
What can I do? i'm sorry, denny.
No, you're not.
You're relieved.
Well, that, too, but If you truly loved her, then I am sorry.
Denny denny.
There's no need to be sorry, alan.
Love, even when it's fleeting, even if it's for a day or two, it's a It's everything.
Don't you agree? I do.
I actually think it's why I'm still single.
every morning, I get to wake up and wonder, will this be the day? Every night, I put my head on my pillow and I wonder, will I meet her tomorrow? I imagine what she'll look like-- Her smile, the way she does her hair, how she laughs The contour of her breasts, neck.
the promise of love can Be everything.
It's a magic you rarely find in marriage, so maybe you lucked out.
You don't believe married people can stay in love? I believe they can know even more profound joys, be it with children or The depth of the relationship itself.
it can evolve into something they can't possibly live without.
And yet It's something that doesn't quite So resemble love, at least not the romance of love.
I never knew you to be such a romantic.
My problem is I'm too romantic.
No woman can possibly measure up the problem to the promise of tomorrow that love holds for me.
What about me? Well, it's not the same.
You know one thing I do love about you? Tell me.
While many people embrace the promise of tomorrow, too few celebrate the Joy of now.
And nobody Does that like denny crane.
Well, let me tell you something, when you've got polar ice caps melting and breaking off into big chunks, and you got osama still hiding in a cave planning his next attack, and when you got other rogue nations with nuclear arsenals, not to mention some whack job, homegrown, who can cancel you at any second, and when you got Mad cow Now gets high priority.
And when you're sitting on the balcony on a clear night Sipping scotch with your best friend now Is everything.
Here's to now.
Here's to now.